“It Would Just Kill Me to Marry Mary Todd”: Courtship and Marriage
Chapter Six “It Would Just Kill Me to Marry Mary Todd”: Courtship and Marriage (1840-1842) In 1842, Lincoln married Mary Todd, a woman who was to make his domestic life “a burning, scorching hell,” as “terrible as death and as gloomy as the grave,” according to one who knew him well.1 COURTING MARY OWENS Lincoln’s courtship of Mary Todd is poorly documented, but indirect light on it is shed by his earlier, well-documented romance with Mary S. Owens. Born in Kentucky a few months before Lincoln, Mary Owens received a good education at the home of her wealthy father, a planter in Green County.2 She “was very different from Anne Rutledge.” Not only was she older, bigger, better-educated, and raised “in the most refined society,” she also “dressed much finer than any of the ladies who lived about New 1 William H. Herndon, quoted in Michael Burlingame, The Inner World of Abraham Lincoln (Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 1994), 268. 2 Nathaniel Owens, out “of his deep concern for the education of his children . maintained a private school in his pretentious plantation home, to which came instructors from Transylvania University, Ky., to give instruction to his children and those of his neighbors.” On his 5000-acre plantation he grew cotton and tobacco, which he farmed with the help of two dozen slaves. Notes on Nathaniel Owens, Fern Nance Pond Papers, Menard County Historical Museum, Petersburg, Illinois. According to William B. Allen, Owens “was a farmer of good education for the times, and of a high order of native intellect.
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