“Keep the Cat Free” ISSUE 1517 FELIX 11.05.12 The student voice of Imperial College since 1949

100 years of Universal and An interview with the band ahead of their biggest ever Paramount: UK headline show: Page 20 Page 22 SCIENCE

Stars ripped apart by black holes Page 12

Ultimate challenge for Imperial students COMMENT Two Imperial teams in Final of national science competition: Page 5

Court approves Babar Ahmad Inside the mind of extradition to United States Rick Santorum BBC Page 14 Aemun Reza approved the decision for him to be ex- Family contin- tradited within the next three months Babar Ahmad is a British Citizen and where he may be subjected to solitary ues to call for former student and staff member of Im- confi nement in a ‘Supermax’ prison. perial College London who has been The family of Babar Ahmad have public enquiry detained in prison for eight years under promised to fi ght his extradition “to the MUSIC anti-terrorist legislation without a trial end” and admitted that they were “very into ongoing in the UK. He has been battling against disappointed” by the court’s decision. extradition to the US but on 10 April They are determined to seek proper Ahmad was interviewed by the case the European Court of Human Rights ...Continued on Page 3 BBC in April

More anonymous accounts on the as- UNSEEN A chance encounter pects of our lives that we don’t want to with Johnny Rotten IMPERIAL talk about: Page 9 Page 21 2 Friday 11 may 2012 FELIX HIGHLIGHTS What’s on 2012 ICT Survey CLASSIFIEDS Understanding neural Win one of fi ve vouchers Looking for convenient summer accoms? Room circuits worth £100! with double bed and great view, £140/wk, includ- ing utilities, available from 1 July to 15 Sept. 5 min MIT Professor of Biological Engineering and Brain from Gloucester Road tube station. If interested and Cognitive Science Ed Boyden delivers this pls contact Hui at [email protected]. 2012 Bagrit Lecture on the use of optics and oth- er tools for the analysis of neural circuits. Open to all, contact [email protected] to register.

Lecture Theatre G16, SAF Unicycle! South Kensington Campus Relax and unwind from revision with 14 May 17:30-18:30 this 16” wheel uni- cycle for £30 ono. Slight surface rust. Contact Reuben on rlg107@imperial. That’s right, quit your brogramming for one second Plastic electronics: the ac.uk. coming revolution Heads up Imperial, you’ve got the chance

Professor Donal Bradley, Pro to win an Amazon voucher worth £100! All Family with two young children living in Queens Rector (Research), speaks in Gate Terrace are looking for a mother’s help for a the Friends of Imperial College you have to do is go ahead and fi ll out a few hours in the morning and afternoon, to start lecture series. The nano-scale a.s.a.p. Can be planned around study commit- printing and coating of materials survey about your thoughts and experiences ments. If interested, please call 0796 6171802 on a wide range of plastics has the potential to impact on mul- on College ICT. tiple applications in energy, en- vironment, consumer electronics It only takes 10 minutes, and fi ve students Just so we’re clear, Felix accepts no responsibility and healthcare. Tickets cost £3 for services bought or sold, capiche? Good. for students and staff. Contact will be selected at random from all admin@friendsofi mperial.org.uk for tickets. respondents to win a voucher. Lecture Theatre G16, SAF All this and you have the chance to shape South Kensington Campus the future of College ICT. Need something 15 May 19:00-20:00 that the College hasn’t got in place at the Lolcat of teh week moment? You could be one suggestion Lunchtime Concert away from seeing it come to life before your eyes. Gordon Fergus-Thompson performs. Open to all. First come fi rst served.Contact mary.bowe@impe- The closing date is 18 May, so make sure rial.ac.uk for further information. to get your views across. LT1, Wolfson Hammersmith Campus Head over to bit.ly/ictsurvey2012 to get 15 May 13:00-13:45 started. Editor

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. Printed by Iliffe Print Cambridge, Winship Road, Cambridge. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. FELIX Copyright © Felix 2012.

Editor-in-Chief Matthew Colvin Editor-in-Prowling Tim Arbabzadah Deputy Editor Charles Betts News Editors Sophia David Alex Nowbar Reporters Aemun Reza Maciej Matuszewski Jonathan Peek Features Editors Katy Bettany Stephen Smith Sports Editor Indy Leclercq Sports Rookies Gabriel Oppetit Johnny Wong Science Editors Kelly Oakes Alexander Karapetian Business & Finance Editors Will Prince Deepka Rana Politics Editors Rajat Jain Joseph Letts Technology Editors Chris Bowers Feroz Salam Comment Editors Tim Arbabzadah Samuel Horti Arts Editors Will Prince Eva Rosenthal Music Editors Mark England Ross Gray Simon Hunter Íñigo Martínez De Rituerto Alex Ramadan Fashion Editors Saskia Verhagen Alice Yang Television Editors George Barnett James Simpson Film Editors John Park Lucy Wiles Games Editor Laurence Pope Books Editor Maciej Matuszewski Food Editors Anastasia Eleftheriou Michael Krestas Travel Editors Dushi Arumuganesan Chris Richardson Online Editors Chris Birkett Philip Kent Jonathan Kim Puzzles Admiral James Hook Photo Editor Miles Robertson Copy Editors Carol Ann Cheah Iulia Gherman Philip Kent Jonathan Peek Annina Sartor Christopher Witham Special Thanks Charlotte Ivison FELIX Friday 11 may 2012 3 News Editors: Sophia David Alex Nowbar [email protected] NEWS Extradition impropriety denied

The European Court of Human Rights in Strasbourg James Loy argued for the benefi ts of international co-operation

...Continued from Front Page April, Babar Ahmad gave his own Act and any other relevant legislation. Sponsored Editorial justice and ensure that Babar should be views on his detainment. He told the The CPS acts as the representative of the put on trial in the UK, along with a full BBC: “I have never been questioned requesting judicial authority in extradi- public inquiry into his case. His father about the allegations against me. I have tion proceedings.” stated that the British justice “appears never been shown the evidence against Additionally, James Loy, the former to have been subcontracted to the US”. me.” Babar Ahmad urged the Director US Deputy Secretary of Homeland Se- More student cuts Amna Ahmad, Babar Ahmad’s sister, of Public Prosecutions to put him on curity said, “This is a new realm, this has raised concerns about her brother’s trial in the UK to fi nd out what has gone is a new era that demands international mental health, saying, “there’s only so wrong with his case. co-operation associated with crimes that much a person in that condition could In the campaign to free Babar Ahmad, have international implications. The Ah- Discount haircuts for Imperial do.” an offi cial government online petition mad case is that case.” was created to generate support against students at Fresh Hairdressers his extradition and was signed by over “[British justice] ap- 140,000 people. There was enough “This is a new realm, support for the petition to be taken the More student cuts for Imperial To book an appointment, pears to have been House of Commons to be debated. On this is a new era that students at South Kensington’s call 0207 823 8968. Ask for a 30 March, the House of Commons FRESH Hairdressers. student discount and bring your subcontracted to the Home Affairs Select Committee re- demands interna- Men’s cuts £22 Imperial ID. leased a report that concluded that the Women’s shampoo and cut US” US-UK Extradition Treaty should be tional co-operation” and shake dry £28 amended to deal with the unease of the Women’s shampoo, cut and fairness of the Treaty. blow-dry £38 However, The European Court of Hu- Scotland Yard released a statement, Amna Ahmad and the rest of Babar All of our cuts are done by man Rights said that he would not be which said: “The Metropolitan Police Ahmad’s family will continue with their highly experienced stylists. subject to “ill-treatment” in the US. The Service carried out their investigation Free Babar Ahmad Campaign. Amna Tuesday to Fridays 9.30 to judges said that the US authorities are strictly in accordance with UK law. Ahmad said, “We’re not afraid of a trial. 4.30 (sorry no discounts on “justifi ed” in treating convicted terror- This process involved close liaison We’re not afraid of him being charged Saturdays). ists as a “signifi cant security risk” and with the Crown Prosecution Service. with anything. We’re actually asking for We are only 70 metres from are therefore allowed to limit their com- We completely reject any suggestion that. So that he can have an opportunity South Kensington tube station munications with the outside world. of impropriety.” They also stated, “All to see the allegations, to see the evi- In an interview with the BBC con- extradition requests made to the United dence, to be questioned in an open court ducted at Long Lartin Prison in early Kingdom are subject to the Extradition of law with a jury of his peers.” 4 Friday 11 MAY 2012 FELIX News Editors: Sophia David Alex Nowbar NEWS [email protected] In Brief Science Challenge concludes at Pub to remain on Level 0 the House of Lords Following a meeting of the Management Board on 20 April, an agreement has been reached over the proposed development of the space currently oc- Cash prize and tour of CERN awarded at Grand Final cupied by the Holland Club on Level 0 of Sherfi eld. The space will continue to provide a “pub facil- CERN ity”, which will be open to staff, postgraduate re- search and postgraduate taught students, along with a catering facility. Consideration will be given as to whether under- graduates will have access to the catering facility. An additional ‘social space’ will be accessible throughout the day and over weekends. An advisory Group consisting of the Senior Dean, representatives from Imperial College Union, the Holland Club, and Commercial Services has been formed and will work on the next stage of the de- sign process. Designs and costings will be submit- ted to the College’s Portfolio Review Board in June or July for approval before any further progress is made. Matt Colvin

Wilson House not listed on accommodation website A tour for two of CERN was up for grabs for the overall winner

Wilson House has been removed from Imperial Maciej Matuszewski about “without going into too much technical of Parliament has made her decide to turn College’s accommodation website for prospective detail” for a layperson reader. to politics. Cook told Felix that “the lack of students. In February, it was reported in Felix that The results of the 2012 Science Challenge Mathematic postgraduate Matthew Gipon’s scientifi c literacy in politics explains why the hall could potentially be closed for refurbish- were announced at a reception at the House of work was judged to be the best Imperial an- politicians dismiss scientifi c advice about is- ment for the 2012-2013 academic year. Lords on 22 March. The Science Challenge, swer to the second question, set by BBC sci- sues incredibly relevant to the public, such as A new hall of residence, named ‘Xenia’ has ap- run annually by Imperial’s Royal College of ence correspondent and former Felix Editor climate change or drug policy”. She believes peared on the website. Situated in Waterloo, the Science Union, invited students from the Col- Pallab Ghosh – “What is the role of science that “more scientists should become more ac- accommodation website states that the hall has lege, as well as secondary schools around the journalism in the 21st Century?” In his essay tively involved in the political process” and “recently undergone extensive refurbishment and country, to answer science based essay ques- Gipon argues that a modern science journalist that “improved understanding of the scientifi c is located in the ‘cultural heart’ of London”. En tions set by high profi le judges. One Imperial should not only move beyond “regurgitating process will not only ensure politicians will suite single rooms cost from £170-£200 per week, and one schools winner was chosen from the press releases” but also retain a broad focus better consider scientifi c information, but will standard single rooms from £130-£140 per week, answers to each question and an overall win- and consider “the political, economic and so- make them more objective and better decision and twin rooms from £110-£170 per student per ning College and schools essay was then cho- cial dimensions” of scientifi c results. makers”. week. In comparison, a standard single room cost sen from amongst these. Cell & Molecular Sciences postgraduate from £104.08 per week at Wilson House. Christopher Waite was chosen as the winner in Previously, the warden of Wilson House, Dr Mi- the third category, in which senior Accenture “more scientists should chael Bluck, said that “Should closure of Wilson “ethics is something that executive Peter Lacy asked “What scientifi c be required (whenever that may be), other halls breakthrough should we focus on to provide become more actively would likely be needed temporarily, in order to everyone [...] can relate sustainable food, energy and water for nine meet the guarantee we make to fi rst year under- billion people on a planet of apparently fi nite involved in the political graduates.” to easily” natural resources, and why?” Waite says that Felix will have a more detailed report on this his background in biology means that he has process” story next week. always had “a passion for plants so presenting Matt Colvin Second year undergraduate Eugene Lee was their case as a solution to the imminent global the Imperial winner in the fi rst category, in food and fuel crises was an easy choice for As overall winner Carys received a cash which Professor Lord Robert Winston asked [his] answer to the sustainability question”. prize of £2,000 and a tour of CERN for herself “What are the fi ve main ethical issues that He chose to write about “genetic modifi cation and one guest. The other Imperial winners re- face modern science and how do we tackle of the hub for photosynthesis, the chloroplast” ceived a £500 cash prize each. Waite says that them?” Lee told Felix that he “chose the eth- since this area has a great deal of potential. he considered the tour of the Houses of Par- ics question because it was the one closest to Waite says that chloroplasts “can house a liament that preceded the awards presentation my heart; being a biomedical science student”. plethora of bacterial genes with a variety of “an ample prize in itself – the gold-encrusted He got his “inspiration to write about it using functions while allowing some primary risks Lords Chamber, in which you are under the the laboratory as a reference starting point of traditional GM to be circumvented”. watchful eye of the barons and bishops who for a narrative”. While “it was hard to choose Engineering postgraduate Carys Cook was signed the Magna Carta 800 years ago, was only fi ve of the biggest ethical issues for the selected as the overall winner for her answer a magnifi cent climax.” Lee commented that essay though” since ethics is “something that to the question “How should politicians best “the House of Lords was a fi tting place for the permeates all corners and areas of science” he make use of science?” set by Times Science ceremony” and that he did not know how “the says that there was the added benefi t that “eth- Editor Mark Henderson. Titled “Parliamen- committee could top this year’s ceremony for Wilson House ics is something that everyone feels strongly tary Election Manifesto of a Scientist Turned next year’s competition”. He added that, “all about and can relate to easily” which meant Politician” her essay outlines how a wide- in all, it was really meaningful and everyone that it is a topic he could confi dently write spread scientifi c illiteracy amongst members should be encouraged to join.” FELIX Friday 11 may 2012 5 NEWS Super mutant algae declared winner Teams from Imperial take runner-up places in BP Ultimate Field Trip

Jonathan Peek the audience voted on a separate poster not having had to “take any algae to the commented. The retrofi tting also has operations in the Gulf of Mexico, along- competition, the voting was just as tight, lab”. There was concerns raised over the advantage of being a partial solu- side spending time in New Orleans. Two teams from Imperial reached the with a split of 34% Aspire (Strathclyde), whether the super mutant algae posed tion that can be enacted right now rather Last year’s winners said that whilst Final of BP’s Ultimate Field Trip com- 33% C-less (Imperial) and 31% G.I.C. a threat to wildlife but Aspire defended than waiting for technology to develop. they were envious of this year’s prize petition, which was held on Tuesday 8 (Imperial). their proposal: “it’s alright as it’s a natu- (“We should have a waited a year”) as it May. The prize of a six week internship rally occurring mutant.” gives Apsire the chance to see BP work- at BP Trinidad & Tobago was ultimately G.I.C. (Global Intelligence Consult- “if we had the solu- ing on another continent, they were won by a team from the University of “[the competition] ing) outlined a three-phase approach happy not to have to try and tackle this Strathclyde. with membrane technology (based on tion we could do it – year’s challenge. Despite the challenge

Tasked with outlining how they was like doing a research being carried out at Imperial) of making a refi nery CO2 free by 2030, would make a BP refi nery CO neutral being the fi rst part of their proposal, and that’s the kicker” BP Chief Scientist Ellen Williams said 2 whole other degree” by 2030, the competition was judged which culminated in artifi cial-leaf CO2 “if we had the solution we could do it – not just on technical content but also break down. G.I.C. stressed the impor- and that’s the kicker”. presentation skills and teamwork. The tance that “you won’t go to bed and Despite not winning the competition Both Ellen Williams and David Eyton, teams, having already presented their Team Aspire’s proposal was based wake up the next morning with a carbon both teams from Imperial said that it Group Head of Technology, were both proposal during the semi-fi nals, had the on the use of Algae-based bioreactors neutral refi nery” and that a fl exible solu- was the chance to put their knowledge keen to point out that this competition chance to present their ideas in a suc- housed in Lego-brick inspired green tion with immediate action is necessary. into practice and to try and tackle a was more about challenging students cinct manner to staff from BP as well houses to break down the CO2, with the C-Less outlined an effi ciency im- large-scale problem that was the real than getting research done for free: “BP as fi eld a 20 minute Q&A session from side benefi t of the algae by-products be- provement approach with large amounts reason they entered the competition. has looked at all of these ideas”. With the likes of BP’s Chief Scientist Ellen ing of high value in the nutrition indus- of retro fi tting to existing refi neries to “We often get stuck working on prob- the success of the competition over the

Williams at the Royal Institution-based try (e.g. Omega 3 oils). This proposal cut CO2 emission before fi nally using lems, we lose sight of the bigger pic- last three years, next year the competi- fi nal. was so radically outside of the team’s carbon capture and storage to remove ture,” student Nicholas Kwok said. tion will be international, meaning that

The competition was closely fought background of marine, ocean and aero- the CO2 under the North Sea. Whilst As the winning Team Aspire will be students from Imperial will have even with each of the three fi nalists having mechanical engineering that “it was like retro fi tting is not cheap, “looking at the spending six weeks as guests of BP more competition next year if they want an advocate on the judging panel. When doing a whole other degree”, despite costs makes me wince,” a BP employee Trinidad & Tobago and will visit BP’s to win the “Ultimate Field Trip”.

From left to right: Zhen Xiong, Dun Xiang, and Nicholas Kwok of Global Intelligence Consulting, Zie Wearn Chua, Wern Chia Chang, and Zhi Xiong Chong of C-Less, Edward Kay, Simonas Stilius, and Guy Drori of Aspire The Final was held at the Royal Institution

Zhen Xiong explains it all Aspire (far right) won over the judges with their algae concept More tension than 45 minutes of Deal or No Deal

DIGGIDY DAWG F E L I X M U S I C N I G H T SUNW I T H T GLITTERSH E I N C R E D I B L E “[Sun Glitters’] pitch-shifted vocals and chopped-up melodies create a compellingly itchy, glitchy R&B” – the Guardian A L S O F R O M X V I R E C O R D S HENRY WU& EVERMEAN LOVE LOVE T. Williams Mary Anne Hobbs Alexander Nut 4 X V I “Really good vibe” “Superb” “Sounding large!” 4 X V I

16 JUNE ONLY £3 FELIX Friday 11 MAY 2012 9 Features Editors: Katy Bettany Stephen Smith [email protected] FEATURE Unseen Imperial

Once again, thank you to those who n 2011 the world that I loved have submitted accounts on the as- turned dim. It’s hard to describe pects of our lives that we just don’t how things turned so quickly, but talk about: they did. There were redundan- cies and many uncertainties. My Ifriends were receiving letters to say they ell, how do I start were to be made redundant and the su- off? Let me just be- pervisors had gone underground. We did gin by saying that not know what was going on and people I was diagnosed became worried and upset. I was the only of having severe one about to ask and question. It was Wdepression and have been meeting my hard seeing my friends crying and unable doctor and I am currently on medication to contact the supervisors to talk through since the last academic year. I’ve been the situations. I too had been moved to through the whole process of counsel- what we started to call the redundancy ling, psychiatric evaluation, CBT ses- waiting room – as all those who were sions (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), moved were being made redundant. and there have even been times that I’ve I continued my work and developing rung up the Samaritans when it was just my research program. There was little too much for me to handle. So, yes, I’ve feedback on my work and my questions had and still having my share of mental about what was going on went unan- health issues. Email [email protected] if you would like to share your anonymous experiences of topics that are not swered. Instead of meeting to discuss my How did it start? Not exactly sure openly discussed work, I would receive an occasional short how it all began! But when I was a pre- curt email. It just made me worry more. adolescent I remember being really ir- That I guess was the start of the spiral. ritated and just wanted to get out of my because for one I didn’t want to accept gone through any sort of mental health and made me like someone actu- My health spiralled very quickly into a own skin. I would start scratching my- that something was wrong with me and issue this might sound like an exaggera- ally cared (I know it’s their job, but very dim depressive place. I took advice self vigorously, and fl apping my hands two, people would just call me a retard tion, but trust me when I say that the sometimes that small gesture means the from a friend and went to my GP – who around and always had that feeling of or say deal with it or man up or some- pain you go through is agonising and world to you). He then advised me to go diagnosed clinical depression. I was put punching something (don’t worry, I thing stupid like that. I tried comforting is actually hard to describe in words. to see my doctor which I did and have on an antidepressant and psychology don’t randomly just punch people!). By myself by talking to my toys and doing There were times that I actually was been since. I’ve been on medication sessions were set up, I felt relieved that this time I’ve changed countries, went a whole psychiatric session by myself paralysed. I couldn’t move, if I were since then and have seen a psychiatrist things were going to be ok. to school in a totally new place and ev- (yes, I had toys, I was 15). I was never a standing, I’d collapse to the fl oor and for further evaluation of my problem. I I contacted my supervisors and told erything was just new! My family was social outcast, I had a lot of friends and my whole body would just go numb. also started on my CBT sessions, which them that I had been to my GP and was broken up and life just started getting I was quite active during school time. It Hurting myself and suicide became pri- are really helpful and gives you guid- diagnosed with clinical depression. I a bit hectic for my taste. Then comes was all just an act! People thought I was ority in my head. I would hurt myself ance on how to deal with problems you guess I expected that they would be un- along puberty and the whole teenage happy and never assumed that anything when I was at lectures using a pen, at suffer. I really can’t thank these few derstanding and supportive. No, they drama begins! I was bullied in school was wrong, but boy were they wrong as home it’d be a sharp object. I kept bang- people enough for what they’ve helped just demanded that I report back and both verbally and physically. Wasn’t hell. ing my head hard against a wall. I kept me through with and will always be start work the following Monday. Then really sure why I was bullied and the on pulling my hair out (literally). I tried grateful to them. they stopped talking to me, advised my more I thought of it the more confused to keep myself happy, tried hanging out collaborators to stop talking to me and I got and the more depressed I started to “I didn’t want to ac- with people, watched movies, cooked, stopped my salary. What they did made get. To add to that, I only got to see my ate what I liked, but it didn’t make me “I’m not saying it is my recovery very hard. Not only did I dad once a year and when I do see him, cept that something feel better, it just made me feel worse. I have to try and get well from a very seri- he always buggered off somewhere and was wrong with me” didn’t want to hang out with my friends easy at all, it is tough” ous condition, but I had to try and fi ght when he was around it just felt like, that because I thought they’d see right for what were basic human rights in the he didn’t really seem to care about us. through me and they would consider UK. Things got worse to a point that suicide So, before coming to Imperial I had me to be some sort of omen. I walked So if you are suffering or know any- It all just made me so very sad. Sad seemed to be the only solution! Which about four or fi ve major episodes and a whenever I started getting depressed one who is suffering from a mental that people I had known and worked with I did proceed with, but luckily stopped huge amount of minor episodes. I never and sometimes I’d walk for hours at health issue, please get help! You might for many years would be so unsupport- myself from over dosing before it was paid close attention to my episodes. two in the morning. I just wanted to run think it is embarrassing, you might ive, when I most needed to be supported. too late! This was at the age of 13. That Yes, I had all my depressive symptoms away. I despised myself and seeing my- think people might take the mock out If there is one message I would like to was my fi rst major episode. and I did weird stuff to take care of it, self in the mirror just made me want to of you, you might feel you are a failure. transmit to all, it is keep communication Throughout the years the episodes but I never told anyone anything. I was pull my eyes out. I was always crying I know I did! But after that fi rst step, open when working with someone who got worse. When I mean episodes, I faking my way through and didn’t want and wanted to be alone. I couldn’t focus it becomes a bit easier for you to open has clinical depression. Support them in mean periods of me being depressed to accept the fact that there might be at all and there were times I had to just up and help yourself get through with the same you would support someone for more than a month. During these something wrong with me. stand up and get out of the lecture room it. I’m not saying it is easy at all, it is who told you they had just been diag- periods I was insomniac or slept a lot, I got chosen to Imperial and every- because I was feeling really uncomfort- tough and there are some instances that nosed with cancer. One in four people in starved myself, had thoughts of hurting thing was going quite alright. The stress able. The list does go on and some of you’ll have to put that extra effort in! the UK will experience a mental health myself or even suicide, was lethargic, of work did get to me and I did have my them are pretty gruesome, but that is But all I’m saying is that get help if you problem in any given year. There is no couldn’t concentrate, was panicking a spirals, but everything went fi ne. Even the sad truth about mental health issues are having some troubles, being quiet excuse for ignorance. lot, was crying my eyes off every day, had a mini break down during the exam when they are untreated. and feeling ashamed never helps and I was having different body ailments and time period but ended up doing pretty Then during the second term I just don’t want anyone to go through what the list goes on and on… The worst part well. couldn’t handle it anymore and took I’ve been through! I’ve been having this If you’d like to share your experienc- is I hated myself, I wasn’t comfortable Then it was the next academic year the leap of making an appointment for ten years and am still in the process es of anything people don’t openly being in my own skin and there was al- and all hell just got loose. The thing is with the Imperial College Counselling of getting help for the past one and a discuss, such as faith, sexuality, ways that thought where I just wanted with my episodes (should be like every- Service! The day of the fi rst appoint- half years! I don’t want to make this body image, mental health, disabil- to rip my skin apart and run away from one else’s), the more I ignored it and ment came along and I was having re- sound like a happy ending in a fairy tale ity or discrimination of any kind, all the trauma. Every day before I went the more I didn’t get help the worse it grets and jitters. As once as I go in, the but with all the help I’m getting, I fi nd please email icu-disabilities@impe- to bed I prayed that I wouldn’t wake got. During the fi rst term of my second counsellor just asked a few questions. I myself to be more confi dent and hap- rial.ac.uk. You can create an anony- up the next morning and when I did year it got really bad! The trauma, the just couldn’t hold it in and started cry- pier than I’ve ever been in my life! So, mous email address to send it from wake up it was just a horrendous feel- agony, the pain I went through was just ing like I’ve never cried before. The please do get help is you are suffering and any details which could be used ing. I couldn’t tell anyone how I felt excruciating. For someone who hasn’t counsellor was very understanding from a mental health issue! to identify you will be edited out. everynation.co.uk

SUNDAYS ACTIVITY SPACE 1

Free café – 5:30 THE Skeleton Fund

This summer, this guy will cycle this guy

And in the process beat a record set by this guy from Louisville, Kentucky in 1987, 25 years ago.

Also, The entire length of this guy... Great Britain to help fund bursaries for Imperial students www.skeletonfund.com Every penny you donate goes towards scholarships for Imperial students Donate at JustGiving.com/TheSkeletonFund 12 Friday 11 may 2012 FELIX Science Editors: K e l l y O a k e s Alexander Karapetian SCIENCE [email protected] What we missed... Black hole shreds star NASA / S. Gezari (JHU) / J. Guillochon (UCSC) LHC fi nds a new particle (again)

CERN’s Large Hadron Collider (LHC) reported its second particle discovery last month, a new bary- on consisting of an up, strange and bottom quark. The particle, an excited state of Xi_b whose lower energy counterpart was found by the Tevatron col- lider at Fermilab, was discovered by scientists from the University of Zurich’s Physics Institute. The Compact Muon Solenoid experiment, one of the detectors at the LHC, observed the electrically neutral particle from its decay products. A total of 21 Xi_b decays were found, which makes the dis- covery statistically signifi cant. The discovery will allow scientists to better understand the strong nuclear force. The particle was found in a sample of about 530 trillion proton-proton collisions with the LHC oper- ating at 7 TeV, and adds to a growing list of discov- eries at CERN. arXiv:1204.5955v1 Alexander Karapetian Simulation of a black hole fl are as the remains of the disrupted star stream into the black hole

Antonio Torrisi duration of the phenomenon (a few months) was black hole. They also estimated the event oc- not typical of gamma ray bursts that fade away curred for about 76 days. Quantum dots to control your brain Stars approaching a supermassive black hole within a day and come from the explosion of The most intriguing aspect of the discov- are ripped apart by its huge tidal force. The massive stars or collisions between giant stars. ery is the prediction of the structure of the Researchers from the University of Washington black hole gobbles part of star and spits out Stars-shredding events are rare and occur star. Analysis of the spectra of the radiation have used techniques from quantum physics and some material in form of radiation. This fantas- roughly every 10,000 years in a galaxy. One can revealed that the disrupted star was a red gi- neuroscience to control brain cells for the fi rst tic phenomenon has been observed by a team of be detected from Earth once every two years. In ant with a helium-rich core whose hydrogen time. Photosensitive semiconducting nanopar- astrophysicists from US and UK through obser- June 2011 astronomers from the University of shell was previously stripped off. Gezari, the ticles known as quantum dots have been used to vations obtained from the telescope in Mount Berkely, California, had observed a similar phe- leader author of the study from Johns Hopkins stimulate the brain, and it is believed these tech- Haleakala, Hawaii, and the Chandra X-Ray nomenon coming from a galaxy as far as four University, Maryland, says that this “is a con- niques could pave the way to non-invasive treat- Space Observatory. millions light-years from Earth. sequence of being in the environment of the ments for conditions such as Alzheimer’s disease, From a survey of thousands of galaxies, the However, the present study published in Na- black hole.” depression and epilepsy. scientists found that both the telescope and the ture, is the fi rst to give accurate predictions. Some questions such as the low temperature While the experiment was conducted on a fi lm Galaxy Evolution Explorer satellite had detect- Analysing the intensity of the radiation of the of the radiation and the lack of effects from external to the body, the team claims for humans, ed a luminous fl are from the centre of a galaxy light fl are and the shape of the curves and fi tting general relativity in the model remain open, the quantum dots would need to be delivered to located at a distance of approximately 2 billion the data to numerical simulations the scientists but the possibility of characterising the light brain tissue. Lih Lin, the researcher who headed light-years from the Earth. The fl are, dubbed calculated a mass of the black hole as big as from black holes can give precious information up the team, said that “a signifi cant advantage is PS1-10jh, is extremely intense and reveals an about that of 3 million suns and reconstructed about their gravitational fi eld. that [the quantum dots’] surface can be modifi ed uncommon shape of the light-curve. The long the orbit of the star fi nding it to be tight to the DOI:10.1038/nature10990 with various molecules” and used to target specif- ic brain cells. For now, scientists hope to learn to use the techniques to repair damaged retina cells in order to make advances in treating blindness. DOI:10.1364/BOE.3.000447 Alexander Karapetian Remote-controlled insulin production

Laurence Pope This lead to a corresponding drop in blood glucose levels after 30 minutes. Researchers in New York have engineered a The team also experimented with nanopar- way to non-invasively trigger gene activation ticles that could be made intracellularly using in live animals using nanoparticles and radio modifi ed ferritin, a naturally occurring iron- waves, a method that may, in the future, be storage protein. They saw that insulin secre- used to remotely control genes in humans for tion still occurred, albeit more weakly. medical purposes. Radio wave gene activation has the advan- Current methods of activating cells are un- tage of being both non-damaging to tissue and wieldy at best: direct stimulation using elec- ... but only in mice, so far non-invasive whilst heating surrounding cells trodes is invasive, potentially damaging and to a minimal degree. Currently however the non-specifi c, whilst control of individual light- technique can only be used in basic animal re- activated channels using different wavelengths nel, TRPV1 (otherwise known as the capsa- search, as the delivery of nanoparticles into a of precisely-timed light pulses requires inter- icin receptor) by coating the nanoparticles living organism requires the deliberate growth nally implanted light pipes. But, by abusing the with antibodies specifi c to a modifi ed tag on of tumours, making it inappropriate for use in properties of iron oxide nanoparticles (FeNPs) the channel. Exposure to low- and mid-range human clinical research. and temperature-sensitive ion channels, the re- radio wave frequencies heated up the targeted Friedman hopes though that as research pro- searchers found a way to fi nely control certain nanoparticles but not the surrounding tissue, gresses use of nanoparticles in a therapeutic genes non-invasively. thereby activating the channel upon reaching setting will be able to treat diseases involving Jeffery Friedman and colleagues of The its activation temperature. The resulting cal- protein defi ciencies, such as hexosaminidase Watch out... here come the quantum dots Rockefeller University targeted FeNPs to a cium ion infl ux activated a specially modifi ed A replacement in Tay-Sachs disease. modifi ed, temperature-sensitive cation chan- gene that controlled expression of insulin. DOI: 10.1126/science.1216753 FELIX Friday 11 may 2012 13 SCIENCE GM debate: dialogue or déjà vu? Weighing a Caroline Stocks single atom Juan Casasbuenas they simplify the issues, lending more weight to certain aspects over others. Philip Kent In March this year the British Science So how is the GM debate being framed Association released a survey that indi- by the two main two opposing groups? A mass sensor has been developed by cated, at least to some degree, that the a group of Spanish scientists, lead by British public is slightly less concerned Julien Chaste from the Catalan Institute about the prospect of embracing ge- Anti-GM campaigners of Nanotechnology, capable of weigh- netically modifi ed food. This comes in ing individual molecules, atoms, and stark contrast to the hostility exhibited At the top of the GM-debate headlines even protons. towards the technology a decade ago, has been the mass action ‘Take The Sensors of this type, known as nano- when it was rejected in an outright fash- Flour Back’. Anti-GM campaigners mechanical mass sensors, have been ion in the nationwide surveys dubbed behind this appeal are planning on up- developed before. However, previous GM Nation. This essentially halted the rooting a fi eld of genetically modifi ed developments only yielded a resolution push for GM crops by Tony Blair’s gov- wheat at Rothamsted Research on 27 Crop trial at Rothamsted Research. Left: Image from GM protest fl yer of about 7000yg (yottagrams) for a mi- ernment and put research in this area May. The group has summed up their crofabricated sensor, and around 200yg on the backburner. But GM has now arguments in an open letter by appeal- for a carbon nanotube based sensor. In found its way back onto the radar; more ing to ideas of ‘Frankenstein foods’ and Rothamsted Research ronmental work. Whilst there was an this development, which is an improved fl exible EU legislation regarding the suggesting that scientists are opening element of trying to discuss some of the version of the nanotube based sensor, technology combined with the survey up a Pandora’s box by using GM; they Scientists at Rothamsted Research re- actual science, the researchers tended to the researchers achieved a resolution of results means that perhaps the public is say that the GM wheat being trialled at plied to the group of activists with an steer clear of this approach, presumably 1.7yg, which allows weighing of indi- once again in the mood for a conver- Rothamsted has artifi cial genes open letter and an online video plea of because it may not appeal to the hearts vidual protons. sation about the technology. ‘most similar to a cow’ and their own, trying to convince the anti- and minds of protesters or the public These sensors work by oscillating All the interest groups, that the repercussions of GM protestors to not trash the fi eld. It seems that the disagreement be- a resonator, either nanomechanical or from anti-GM campaign- this are unknown and The tone of the researchers’ message tween campaigners and scientists carbon nanotube, at its characteristic ers to researchers have could be potentially di- invited anti-GM campaigners to come continues to be as polarised as ever, frequency (the frequency at which reso- been airing their ar- sastrous. They are also and have a conversation on the 27th of with each framing their arguments in nance occurs, this is usually just below guments and fram- drawing on economics May so that the two groups might fi nd slightly different ways. Perhaps the the natural frequency). A computer can ing the debate in a by pointing out the con- a ‘middle way’. They also appealed biggest change in the debate is that the measure this frequency. When atoms very public fashion strained market for GM to the campaigners by suggesting that researchers at Rothamsted are embrac- or molecules land on the resonator, the over the past few wheat across the world and their actions would undermine ‘social ing the challenge of dialogue. It puts characteristic frequency of the reso- weeks. When interest saying that tax-payers will progress’; trampling the fi elds would the campaigners in a diffi cult spot and nator changes, and the computer can groups frame a debate as part receive very little benefi t from the destroy not only GM crops but other it will be interesting to see if they ac- measure this change. The change in fre- of their strategy to appeal to the public, research they are paying for. research which is fundamental to envi- cept the researchers’ invitation. quency can then be used to calculate the change in mass of the nanotube, which is the mass of the molecule or atom just adsorbed onto it. Changes by the Spanish team to improve the sensitivity of the sensor Glaciers go slow, but they might not stop come in 3 parts. Firstly, to make the changes in resonance frequency more Ross Sea Info pronounced, the length of the carbon Jessie Durk and eventually reach a constant speed. nanotube was shortened, with the part However, the new research estimates B. Franklin Pugh, Penn State University of the tube able to oscillate only being A well-known consequence of global glacial fl ow is only increasing by 30%, 150nm (this is the part of the tube over warming is rising sea levels, caused with nothing to suggest that the speed a trench). This means there is a notice- by the melting of polar ice as the Earth would remain constant once this volume able change in frequency of the resona- heats up. Now, scientists have found of shifting ice had been reached. In the tor even if only a few atoms are present. evidence that sea level rise this century largest glaciological study conducted so Additionally, by cooling the system will fall short of the expected worse case far, satellite data from 2000-2010 were down to 4K, and measuring within a scenario. A team at the University of collected from over 200 glaciers and vacuum, the error caused by other par- Washington have found glacial fl ow in their movement patterns. ticles being present is reduced. Greenland to differ from that of previ- Previous extrapolations suggested sea However, the fi nal and most impor- ous expectations. This latest research re- levels could rise by 46cm by 2100 as a tant improvement was to run a small sults in two main fi ndings: that glaciers worst case scenario. In light of recent current of approximately 8 microamps are moving a lot slower and that this research the movement of Greenland’s through the tube. Before this change movement is not likely to slow down. glaciers places this increase much lower, was applied, the resonance frequency of Glaciers are responsible for the trans- at barely above 9cm. This may sound the resonator exhibited much variance. portation of ice and snow from land- like good news, but even a 30% increase The team suspect this is due to other masses into the sea. This, along with in sea levels poses a threat to low-lying contaminants in the system. the direct melting of ice sheets when countries such as Bangladesh. The team have successfully weighed temperatures increase, results in ris- Such contradictory fi ndings from gla- both xenon atoms and naphthalene ing sea levels. The glacial fl ows from ciological studies suggest the dynamics (C10H8) to high degrees of accuracy. Fu- Greenland and Antarctica alone con- behind glaciers are extremely complex ture uses for this research could be into tribute the most to rising sea levels. A and scientists do not fully understand new mass spectrometers, more accu- staggering 250 billion tonnes of ice is them yet. In addition, the 10-year time rately measuring the mass of incredibly pushed into the sea each year, result- period may be too short for any conclu- tiny particles. However, a more closely ing in an annual 1.5mm increase in sea sion about the end of this century to linked application of this technol- levels on average. As glaciers fl ow, they be meaningful. In the meantime, more ogy could be to allow further research accumulate more matter and move fast- studies will have to be carried out be- into the nature of molecular diffusion er. A faster glacier will deposit more ice fore anyone is any closer to knowing through nanotubes, as well as investi- into the sea, increasing the water levels. just how consequential climate change gations into the nature of magnetic par- Previous studies suggested that glacial will be during our lifetimes. ticles within a nanotube. fl ow would increase by 100% by 2010 DOI:10.1126/science.1219985 Commonwealth glacier, Taylor Valley, Antarctica, January 1956 DOI:10.1038/nnano.2012.42 14 Friday 11 may 2012 FELIX Comment Editors: Tim Arbabzadah Sam Horti COMMENT [email protected] FELIX Santorum’s queer ideas League table woes not a problem

This week saw the Postgraduate Gradua- tion Ceremony take place in the Royal Al- bert Hall. Felix congratulates all of those who received their doctorates and wishes you well for the future of your careers, Joseph Kaupp whether in academia or otherwise. The graduation nevertheless follows the hose of you who aren’t fol- news reported last week that Imperial is lowing the United States now placed joint 71st with Canterbury presidential race may not Christ Church University on the Times be familiar with Rick San- Higher Education Student Experience Sur- torum. In order to save you vey. This survey follows many others by Ttime and limit my own personal biases, I different supplements and publications will impartially copy and paste the Wik- which inevitably place Imperial College tionary defi nition for Santorum: Just be glad we didn’t put a picture of the Wiktionary definition up... in varying positions on varying topics for “Santorum (noun, uncountable) – A a bevy of different reasons. Regardless, frothy mixture of lubricant and fecal this latest position warranted a discus- matter that is an occasional byproduct of atypical marriages. “You can imagine that he uses for his defense, Santorum’s sion of the merits of the system and a anal sex. [from 21st c.]” all the different types of marriage that moral persuasion is clear. To him homo- look at just what is considered the prob- Okay maybe it’s not impartial, but it is would happen,” he said at a town hall sexuality, bestiality and pedophilia are lem when it comes to student experience the Wiktionary defi nition for Santorum. meeting. Extending my imagination to ultimately – to invoke the misused lingo at Imperial. More specifi cally, Mr. Santorum was its limits, I can only come up with a few of right-wing fundamentalists – abomi- In the hope of seeing how deep the is- the republican candidate who managed, far-fetched ideas. Santorum on the other nations. sue sits with students, this week we put for the past few months, to continually hand is much more creative about the Santorum is a Catholic fundamental- out a brief message on the Felix Facebook rain on Mitt Romney’s presidential pa- “likely” consequences of relaxed con- ist, and his bigoted ideas are based on page, asking whether you would consider rade. He won a number of primary elec- straints on traditional marriage. the teachings of the bible. Today many recommending Imperial to a friend. Of tions and positioned himself as a serious Toward the end of his candidacy San- of the faithful take a more fl exible in- the small handful of respondents, the re- contender in the 2012 election. Santo- torum found himself clarifying a state- terpretation of the holy book, viewing it sponse was generally muted, though one rum has recently dropped out of the race, ment he made during an interview in as malleable and understanding that its response called into question the couple but his prolonged viability as a presiden- April 2003 during which he stated: “In message is partly obscured by transla- of outright ‘No’ responses as what was tial candidate is too curious to ignore. every society, the defi nition of marriage tion and the passage of more than 2,000 seen to be a culture of complaint over the Here is a quick fl y by of his views. has not ever to my knowledge included years. Sure you can fi nd quaint wisdom same recurring issues and stereotypes. During a speech on the election trail homosexuality. That’s not to pick on ho- in the bible, but is it a singularly reliable Whether the problem is as simple as this regarding higher education Santorum mosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on source for answers to signifi cant moral is another question, however. addressed the crowd: “President Obama child, man on dog, or whatever the case questions? Is the book that prescribes While the survey overall had over said he wants everybody in America may be. It is one thing.” death for not observing the Sabbath a 13,000 respondents across universities to go to college… What a snob.” God Political commentators have since cit- tenable moral compass for the 21st cen- in the United Kingdom, Imperial made up forbid, in an increasingly competitive ed this sound bite as evidence that San- tury? Why are we seeking answers from 156 of those students who took the time global world, that Barack Obama would torum equates homosexuality with besti- people who didn’t have toilet paper? to respond. This is undeniably a small like the young adults of America to avail ality and paedophilia – an allegation that Vestiges from the past manage to lin- sample of students to draw definitive con- themselves of the university system. he forcefully denies, emphasizing that ger. The arguments against The Civil clusions about the student experience Santorum is against abortion in all he specifi cally excluded homosexuality Rights Act of 1964 weren’t dissimilar to at Imperial. If we really want to judge the cases, including rape. His argument? from those other things. those being levied against the gay-rights issue, it is far more worthwhile to take “The right approach,” he said, “is to ac- No, he didn’t explicitly equate them. movement today. In an interview with into account other documentation and in- cept this horribly created, in the sense But why was he talking about them Chris Wallace, Mr. Santorum was asked formation such as that generated by the of rape, but nevertheless, a gift” [sic]. together in the fi rst place? Cognitive if the following quote dove-tailed with National Student Survey, and the Union’s Despite this defense for the sanctity of psychology conceives of the mind as a his rationale behind why homosexuals response to this. life, he is still in favour of capital pun- web of nodes and links. Nodes represent should be excluded from military ser- Perhaps it is time to stop placing as ishment. objects or concepts and links represent vice: “The army is not a sociological much weight as we already do behind Most controversial are Santorum’s the strength of the association between laboratory. Experimenting with army league tables. As much a fan as I am of views on homosexuality. He opposes different nodes. When a given node is policy… would pose a danger to effi - the constant seesaw effect that league openly gay men and women serving in activated electronic impulses are trig- ciency, discipline and morale and result tables has on a university (with much the military based on what he claims is gered that activate other nodes thereby Everyone is in ultimate defeat.” When Santorum praise from all sides when we’re up, and in the best interest of national security. leading us to recall certain concepts that revising so agreed that this quote sounded about deep seated contemplation when we’re Surely if homosexuals were allowed to are, in our minds, associated. For in- don’t shout right, Chris Wallace revealed its narra- down), it would be a novel approach to serve openly, American military might stance, when I say renaissance painter it out in the tor, Colonel Eugene Householder, who back away from worrying about national would soon be reduced to Elton John you may think of Leonardo da Vinci. library. Your was arguing against racial integration in comparisons and taking a little time to and pillow fi ghts. He justifi es his plat- When I say footballer you may think other tab is the military. engage and progress internally and focus form semantically, claiming that mili- of David Beckman. When I say Rick Facebook so In 2012, what are we doing debating on the immediate and long term effects. tary service is not a right, but a privilege Santorum you may think of an unsavory you may as these things? Will our children not look After all, the over-saturation of constant – a privilege, of course, to which only us frothy mixture. well just head back and fi nd these debates as senseless inspection and analysis of universities heteros are entitled. By distinguishing homosexuality from on over to: and as bigoted as we now perceive those across the United Kingdom won’t cater to When asked to justify his opposition bestiality and pedophilia Santorum man- felixonline. regarding racial integration to have Imperial’s own specific needs. to gay marriage, Santorum’s rationale ages to give us a sneak peak into how his co.uk to get been? What’s does Santorum’s viability was that no reasonable line could be mind actually works. Boiled down and your voice as a presidential candidate say about our drawn to limit the inevitable infl ux of bereft of the subtle nuances of language heard. society? FELIX Friday 11 MAy 2012 15 COMMENT I am not a hipster – it’s too mainstream

irstly, let me clarify – I am see anything extraordinary about Harry not a hipster. Potter. Good books, yes, but amazing, I feel compelled to begin maybe not. with that statement because The same can be said for The Girl after reading this article, with the Dragon Tattoo, George R. R. Fyou may come to the conclusion that I Martin and most recently The Hunger am a hipster. I assure you I am not. You Games. Unlike the majority of London will not catch me wearing an inordi- Underground commuters, I’ve yet to nate amount of wool, or styling thick- crack the spine of any of these books. rimmed glasses in spite of my 20/20 vi- In fairness, this might be due to the in- sion, or listening to awful music whose frequency that I use the tube. As long Rhys Davies only attraction is that no one has ever as my bike keeps running, I’m just not heard of it. Indeed, it is my belief that exposed to the next must-read book. when the final bell tolls and Ragnarok In other areas, I’m a big fan of rages across the Earth, I will be locked James Blunt. Though he tends to be a in a battle to the death with the King of bit on the whiny side, his third the Hipsters. was balanced with much more upbeat I had to start with that caveat because songs. I also liked Indiana Jones and I do not follow the crowd. In most cas- the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (and Well fucking Mexico yeah. That’s a Nathan Barley reference, you’ve probably es of mainstream, I am actively fight- Temple of Doom for that matter). Al- never heard of it ing against the current like some free- iens can’t be beyond the shark for a thinking salmon, or paddling down my series that has the Ark of the Covenant This misalignmentmis own isolated tributary. melt a man’s face. That film’s problem or watched by everyone is unlikely to in my audience. I’m proselytising, I I have many examples. Harry Pot- is that it has to compete in such a great endear it de facto to me. know that, but I want people to like the with the ter, to start with. I’ve read four of the series without the benefit of rose-tinted This does tend to isolate me some- things I like. As I said, I’m no hipster. books but only after the glorious ‘new spectacles. what in social situations – it’s a posi- Given the sheer volume of must-read mainstream book’ smell has faded from between This misalignment with the main- tion I’m more than used to. It means books and must-watch TV out there, the covers of a library dustjacket. stream stems from my childhood, I I’m limited to the most rudimentary of it’s near-impossible to keep your head stems from my By this time, revelations like “Snape think. I wasn’t that popular in school questions when my topic of specialist above the waters of the mainstream. kills Dumbledore! OMG!” were old and so I instinctively shunned what I ignorance comes up at parties. More By the time you’ve finished the tril- childhood... I even news and held no more shock appeal. thought was popular. I even resisted often than not, I excuse myself to the ogy or the box-set, everyone else has Oh, spoiler alert, I guess. I’m better Pokémon for a good while but there kitchen and try to do some washing up moved on and is talking about the next resisted Pokemonkemon with the film, having seen out is only so long you can put off be- for want of anything better to do. How- big thing. of eight, because I’ve got no problem coming a Poké-mon master. I like to ever, the reverse is far more interesting. In contrast, my stream may be small- for a good while with watching a good film. Maybe be- think I’ve overcome this proto-hipster If the discourse turns to my interests I er but it has a much gentler current. In cause I wasn’t swept along in the initial counter-cultural reflex, but even now have to argue harder, with far greater it, I can paddle at my own pace. And I ” wave of hype and hyperbole but I can’t the fact that something is being read passion, in order to engender curiosity repeat, I am not a hipster. Cat got your tongue? [email protected]

I set the smoke alarm off in the library. I ain’t even been revising. Damn, exams should be illegal not this. The big Snoop Dizzle’s gonna write about this and send it in to the Commentizzle sectizzle. “Where’s the Felix Centrefold?” That’s a very good question. If you find it, let us know. Better yet, help us and fill t the space yourself. [email protected]. Groups and individuals welcome! 18 Friday 11 MAY 2012 FELIX Arts Editors: W i l l P r i n c e Eva Rosenthal ARTS [email protected] Competition time, again Smack My Etch Up The lovely folks at Festival of the Spoken Nerd have given us a pair of tickets to their upcoming sell-out show π-curious at The Bloomsbury Theatre on 21 The British Museum displays its rare collection of Picas- May. Blue Peter’s resdient science expert Steve Mould, stand-up mathematician Matt Parker and so prints, never before seen in Britain geek songstress Helen Arney (a product of Impe- rial’s very own Physics department) lead the au- Silvia Davey dience through an evening of scientifi c adventure and comedy, described by the fringe Even on a rainy, bleak and depressing morn- bible, Three Weeks, as ‘riotously funny’. ing the British Museum managed to lift my spirits up. The Great Court was dazzling in all its whiteness, fi lled with noisy and enthu- siastic tourists and school groups. Making my way through the crowds I ventured into a part of the Museum that I had never experienced before: a couple of hidden rooms fi lled with etchings. One of these rooms is the brand new keeper of Picasso’s most renowned series of etchings known as The Vollard Suite, which includes 100 beautiful prints produced by the Spanish artist between 1930 and 1937. These etchings were created by Picasso for the famous Pari- sian art dealer and prints publisher, Ambroise Vollard, who had promised a couple of paint- ing in exchange for the etchings. Vollard had been planning to publish a book of the prints until his death caused by a car accident in- terrupted the project. The etchings were for- gotten about during WW2 until dealer Henri Petiet purchased them: the Petiet family has owned them ever since. It is only through the To be in with a chance of winning, we’re asking immense generosity of Hemish Parker that the you to send us in a π-ku (think a haiku but with a British Museum has managed to display the mathematical slant) to the email at the top of the complete set of prints, which has never before page, and you and a friend could be spending an been shown to the general public. evening breaking the exam monotony in a way that practically counts as revision. Here’s a few of the entries we’ve had so far, to get your creative juices “An eclectic mix of mod- fl o w i n g : ern art, antique relics and personal accounts.” Tax on my pasty. David Cameron is a git. Pie remains constant. The prints are displayed chronologically and have been divided by the curator into little Sex life is constant. groups that share a predominant theme. The Study at Imperial: separation though should not be considered Dave’s sculpting method was unorthodox to say the least Differentiate. as absolute: many themes overlap, disappear and return throughout the series, creating a A Mobius strip confused and dreamlike narrative. It is clear profi le inspired him and Picasso asked the ings: simple, crisp lines to outline heavy Is not orientable. though that the style and the stories that char- young woman whether he could do a portrait limbed models and cross hatching (a tangle Idea for boob tube. acterize most of the etchings are of classical of her. The two then became lovers: she is of lines) to create a more three dimensional, origin: Picasso admired classicism and did not the female model that is often depicted in the curvy and chaotic image. The two techniques Real analysis feel that it was a retreat to antiquity, as he be- Vollard Suite as a modern day Aphrodite. An are often mixed to create a meld of neo-clas- Is a really hard subject. lieved that “if a work of art cannot live always interesting and bemusing detail is that when- sical, composed pictures with some more I’m doomed for exams. in the present it must not be considered at all.” ever her fi gure is present in an etching, a little decomposed, emotionally strong prints such Picasso uses characters from ancient mythol- vase of fl owers is also found somewhere in as the ones depicting rape in “The Battle of One, two, three, four, fi ve. ogy as the main subjects of his paintings: he the picture. Picasso, instead, recasts himself Love” section. The rationalism of classicism Six, seven, eight, nine, ten, err. fi rst came into contact with ancient classical as sculptor from the classical period, bearded is strongly intertwined with the irrationality Seven screws it up. art in his trip to Italy in 1917. This classical and mature, who is often depicted in the act of surrealism, with each print being part of a predominance makes the British Museum the of sculpting, watched by Marie Therese. The captivating and mysterious story. Log base e zero, perfect place for the Vollard Suite to be shown: Minotaur, which fi rst appears in etchings from I left the Vollard Suite feeling I had expe- Much like Greek economy. sculptures and vases from the ancient Greek 1933, symbolizes forces of uncontrolled emo- rienced something special: not only were the Where is it tending? and Roman periods are scattered throughout tion and behavior. Picasso does not depict the prints magnifi cent and displayed and curated the room, enabling the viewer to understand Minotaur in the labyrinth (its usual mythologi- in a very clear and informative way but I had Homeomorphism? fully Picasso’s reinterpretation. cal surrounding) but transports it into the mod- also seen 100 prints which, before the exhibi- Mum said I should have done French. Three main characters star throughout the ern world in an artist’s studio amongst female tion, had only been viewed by a select few. Wish I had listened. 100 etchings: Marie-Therese Walter, the Mi- models and in a bullfi ghting arena, the latter notaur and Picasso himself. Marie Therese evoking a powerful atavistic topos of popular Picasso Prints: The Vollard Suite at The was a young woman that Picasso met in front culture in Picasso’s native land. British Museum continues until 2 Sep- of a department store in 1927; her classical Picasso uses various techniques in the etch- tember. Entry is free.

20 Friday 11 MaY 2012 FELIX Music Editors: Íñigo Martínez de Rituerto Alex Ramadan Ross Gray Mark England Simon Hunter MUSIC [email protected] 5/4 Respect: A Tribute Bombay fever hits London to Pt. II - Shellac Mark England catches up with Bombay Bicycle Club

interviewed Jack Steadman from Bom- J: Yeah. It would be nice but probably not the have to be really grateful for all this. I guess it bay Bicycle Club before they played the whole album; probably just the b-sides to it. is easy to do it because it gets repetitive some- biggest ever UK headline show of thier Maybe an EP, that’s a good idea. We will have times, but you should always treat people with career at London’s Alexandra Palace. to give you credit for coming up with that idea. respect. With the North London band returning homeI to celebrate their extra-ordinary third M: Do you think that being quite young acts M: You came straight out of school. Are you album, A Different Kind of Fix, it was to prove against you? glad you missed out on university? a memorable night. J: I haven’t noticed it. Let me think. When we J: I am so glad I didn’t go. I had a place at started out, there was always that compliment Manchester. My girlfriend is there, she is just Mark: How are you looking forward to the of ‘oh they are so good for their age’ which gets fi nishing having done a three year course. I Alexandra Palace show? a bit tiresome after a while. But nowadays we spend a lot of time there and I am not sure if I Jack: I am trying to not think about it to be are not that young. I don’t feel young. I feel would have enjoyed it. The whole idea of mak- Shellac are another great Math Rock band. You honest. It is not looming over us at all but it is incredibly old. I am 22. ing friends all over again sounds quite stressful, may know them for including prolific producer just better not to really. I am sure once it comes really. I was going to do French which I’d still , or you may know them for the sound, to it I will be very excited by it. M: That is still quite young. like to learn, but not at university. It sounds like which is pretty much abrasion itself. From the J: Not in my mind. quite an intense place to be. Lots of ups and distorted, almost noisy guitars, to the vocals, ag- M: What festivals have you got planned? downs; pressure and loneliness. I am not one gressively shouted, often about violence and fight- J: I am looking forward to Benicassim in M: Are you still living the rock and roll life- of those social people who parties all the time. ing and more often than not bitter, sarcastic and Spain, it is always nice to get some sunshine. style? For them it sounds wonderful, but I am too shy. unpleasant. They formed in 1992, after Albini’s They have just changed our set-time to half J: I think everyone else is. I am certainly not. involvement in and , who are one in the morning which will be fun. The The others seem to be partying a lot more. M: Is it true that you guys got banned from a both somewhat important to math. It is with no crowd should be truly warmed up by that stage, There has been some disgraceful evenings but I few hotels for being naked in the reception? disrespect to these bands, however, that I say that I would hope. The festival I am most excited have only heard of them. J: Yeah, that’s embarrassingly true. I feel like Shellac is the culmination of Albini’s work. about is Hultsfred because I have never been to we have it all out of our systems at an early age The band started out as a collaboration be- Sweden before. M: Is it hard when making a set-list to com- and now we have mellowed out a lot. You have tween Albini, on guitar and vocals and drummer bine all the distinct ? to get all that shit over and done with while you . They were later joined by bassist Bob M: I have heard rumours of an upcoming J: It is very diffi cult. It is hard to play all of the are still young. Now I am happy to never do Weston, who also does some vocals and, like Al- EP... loud stuff and then go into the acoustic album. any of that ever again. bini, is a recording engineer. This is perhaps what J: I wasn’t aware that we were making an EP… I think for people that come to our shows, that led the band to make some very specific deci- That’s the fi rst I’ve heard of it. Maybe they don’t really know us before they are very con- M: And you are only 22… sions about their recording set up. They opt for a are making it without me. We are kind of busy fused because we play all of this weird differ- J: My life has all been squeezed into the space more analogue sound seldom, if ever, using over- touring right now. We are going to America in ent shit. But for the people that know us, they of thirty years so in a few years I will be an dubs. Albini’s signature crunch is in large part due the summer. Maybe we will write an actual al- know what to expect. old man. I will be properly elderly. Dementia, to his use of a rare aluminium body guitar with a bum then. Alzheimer’s. And then that will be it! copper plectrum, as well as a “Harmonic Percola- M: Do you ever lie during interviews? tor” distortion pedal. M: Any chance you will do anything acoustic J: Sometimes but you always have to realise And on that sombre note I left to let the band In summary, heavily distorted guitar, surreal, again, like Flaws? that it is so tempting to be an areshole but you prepare for a historic night in the capital. brutal but always intelligent lyrics, complex time signatures and rhythms and structural unconven- tionality. That is Shellac’s sound and they do it well. They have released four albums to date; 94’s , ‘98’s Terraform, 2000’s , 2007’s Excellent Italian Greyhound. Throughout their long career their sound has changed remark- ably little, merely honing their existing sound. Their sound and their output, four albums in twenty years, show a lot about the band. This is the uncompromising nature of the band’s ethos. They care little for the corporate realities of the music business today, refusing to temper their sound to a larger audience or to be forced to ad- Everyone in this photo looks very happy and relaxed, apart from Mr Serious on the left . Cheer up son here to any kind of label deadline. This lack of de- sire for material success is reflected in the band’s continuing to have other jobs, leaving Shellac’s sound uncompromised. Furthermore, they refuse Returning heroes triumphant at the Ally Pally to sell tickets to their gigs through any company that adds additional charges. The band’s strong ethics are further demonstrated by an anecdote Mark England Sleep?’. Only two songs were played from waiting for, ‘Shuffl e’, was played triumphant- about their curating an ATP. Knowing most fans their acoustic folk tinged second album Flaws, ly during the brief encore. Everyone seized on would be there to see them, they insisted on play- This was my fi rst time at the epic venue which which I thought was a shame but they ended up this song to sway, jump and bounce around to ing first thing in the morning to force festival go- is Alexandra Palace and I was not disappoint- being the highlight of the night for me. the baggy drums and funky bass riff in a mo- ers to see the other bands. ed. With support from and Lianne I found that the moments where beautiful ment of sheer joy. It is not hard to see why those who like Shellac la Havves, the evening had a solid start but it songstress Lucy Rose provided backing vo- This show only validated my opinion that love them; refusal to sell out, respect (where due) was the fi rst few songs of Bombay Bicycle cals, especially on ‘Still’ which was perfomed Bombay Bicycle Club are ready for bigger for other bands and for their fans. Oh, and for their Club’s set that really kicked the show into gear. stripped down with only a piano for accompa- stages, even if they themselves told me that brand of best /punk tinged math rock, a The set was largely composed of songs from niment. It was a fragile, heart-breaking mo- they are very unambitious. I heard rumours cir- distinctive sound they refuse to compromise but the most recent album and the bands’ debut, ment which was shared by, what seemed to be, culating that they could headline Reading and only hone and improve with each release. with classics such as ‘Open House’ and ‘Dust the whole of London packed inside the Palace, Leeds next year, and at fi rst I could not picture Riaz Agahi on the Ground’ mixing well with more recent hushed in reverence. it, but after that accomplished performance, hits like ‘How Can You Swallow So Much The song which the whole audience was such feats seem inevitable to me. FELIX Friday 11 MAY 2012 21 MUSIC

I am an Anti-Christ, I am an Anarchist Reviewed in 60 seconds Plabon Saha tells of his encounter with Johnny Rotten Black Dice - or anyone who knows about the of pure mathematics and went on to football Mr Impossible history of punk music, they will in- hooliganism back in the day, architecture, cul- 2012 stantly recognise the title as part of ture and of course music. As I listened to him tell one of the most famous songs that stories about Arsenal football club and the pric- went on to defi ne the genre. In the ing out of fans, I was amazed at how real these 70’sF the Sex Pistols, fronted by Johnny Rotten people were and how we shared a few opinions, ★★★★✩ a.k.a John Lydon, started a revolution in the mu- such as the ugliness of modern architecture and sic scene with just one album. To this day music the need for an integrated English culture. These Acid-fuelled madness far more in the psychedelic critics recognise that album as one of the most people might be more than double my age yet it style than the harsh industrial abrasion of previous original pieces of work in the industry. I would surprised me how well I got on with them. They outings such as Broken Ear Record, with Mr Im- not bore you with my praise for that album as had stories to tell, interesting ones, and Rambo possible, Black Dice successfully continue their in- I’m sure you hear enough of it from your parents and Scotty, who maintains Johnny’s band Pub- credible progression from their humble beginnings (Not sure what you imagine normal parents to lic Image Limited’s website was interested in as an insane hardcore outfi t and go pop. Synths be like, but you must have some seriously cool my story too as we chatted about bits and bobs The world works in mysterious ways that don’t induce headaches and catchy basslines ones – Music Ed). This is about one of the best of my life. They might be famous but they did indeed squelch under Copeland’s distorted-beyond-belief nights I’ve had at Imperial, when I found Mr not come across as people drunk on fame. They vocals and drum patterns that vary from jazz to Rotten in Eastside bar having a pint with his were normal, using that term loosely, of course. hip-hop. At some points, they even *gasp* use a friends on St. Patrick’s Day. Johnny was the eccentric one of the lot, but not about their haircut by their friends quite a bit, four to the fl oor. Black Dice have always focused A few friends and I went to Eastside after the as crazy as one might think. After a few other needless to say that was one of the best things on honing one sound throughout a track, creating rugby game to celebrate what was to be just friends of mine had joined us, one of the loud that one of the icons of British punk could have sonic pieces as opposed to songs, and continue another night out for us at Imperial. The night moments of the night that I recall was when ever said to me. And you know what the funny to do so here, but there is an element of tradi- quickly went from normal to extra-ordinary he shouted “THIS IS ENGLAND, MY ENG- thing is? That woman came back half an hour tional structure to these tracks. The press release when my friend spotted Mr Lydon in the bar. At LAND” as he pointed out the multicultural later asking Rambo for a cigarette and started describes Mr Impossible as the sound of “a sub- fi rst we were sceptical about whether it was re- group that surrounded him. As soon as it was claiming my hair as punk. Such hypocrisy, such stance-fuelled basement party on Mars”, and re- ally him, as it would be odd to fi nd a man of his established that we were all students, I remem- ignorance, it was no surprise the guys weren’t ally, I’m never going to sum it up better than that. reputation to simply be having a pint there. Af- ber Johnny telling us that we are the future and a big fan. Ross Gray ter looking up current pictures of Johnny on our we need to sort this country out and not mess As the night wore on and closing time beck- smartphones, scepticism quickly turned to fan- things up like previous governments. This was oned, that same woman came to say her good- induced euphoria as my friend called her dad a man who cared, a man who was passionate. byes along with her friends, this time trying to to inform him who was at the bar. Being ner- And I defi nitely shared his sentiments regarding appeal to Mr Lydon to the best of her ability by vous as any fans would be, we went up to him politics and the monarchy. showering him with praise. The need for celeb- Carter Tutti Void - to shake his hand which to us was a privilege. rity approval baffl es me. Even if she was a fan of Transverse Johnny was relaxed and quick to make jokes. Johnny’s work it was clear that she didn’t think 2012 We laughed and, unable to make conversation, “[the punk culture ex- very highly of the guys there. So it was quite quickly went back to our group to revel in what surprising that she continued to try and gain just happened. The night took a better turn when hibition] really rustled their approval. Oh well, laughs were had and ★★★★✩ more friends of mine came to the bar and they that was that. As Eastside closed, we decided wanted to go say hi to Johnny. Wanting to speak Johnny’s jimmies” to move to the Union. It was a bit of a pain to to him properly this time, I took a quick gulp get into Metric but some quick thinking on our Possibly the most frightening release of 2012, none of my drink and started walking towards them, feet meant that even the guard couldn’t stop us. of Factory Floor’s new psychedelic live sound is por- which turned out to be one of the best decisions One of the other things to remember from Johnny got his groove on and, for once, Metric trayed on this live collaboration between two Throb- I will ever make. the night was about this Brazilian woman. The was enjoyable despite the inevitable sausage- bing Gristle members (Cosey Fanni Tutti & and Chris With the initial awkwardness gone, I quickly background info on this story is that there was a fest. We left the Union on a high, thinking about Carter) and FF’s Nik Void. Void’s growling, menacing divulged into a conversation with Johnny’s man- woman outside the bar who works for one of the how awesome the night was as we parted ways. guitar is combined with Tutti & Carter’s squealing ager Rambo, with whom he has been friends for many museums around South Kensington. Ap- I was also invited to PiL’s gig at Heaven in synths in the school of Throbbing Gristle onto an over forty years. Our conversation ranged from parently, they are doing an exhibition on punk April and I just wanted to take a paragraph to incredibly deep, bare, ominous bass thud that runs topic to topic. It started off with the importance culture, which really rustled Johnny’s jimmies. write a quick review. The crowd at the gig was throughout the entire monstrously industrial perfor- The man who defi ned the genre was not consult- much older than I was but even then I defi nitely mance. Tension is built perfectly, with each of the ed about this exhibition at all. Johnny asked her had a good night. I started checking out PiL’s ten-minute plus tracks slowly building from the ab- what she understood about punk and what the work after meeting Lydon and although he looks solute barebones into soul crushingly ominous atmo- Be sure not to miss... genre, the culture actually meant. From what I less of a punk rocker these days with his spec- spheres. Probably not one for the sunny weather, I recall, her answer was something along the lines tacles (And the butter adverts- Music Ed.); you would advise waiting until a particularly suicidal mo- Zulu Winter of “punk is all about expressing views that are can still see the youthful angst in him. PiL seems ment before checking out this pretty great live record. not so easily accepted by society”. “You have to me a band that has experimented quite a bit Ross Gray Boston no idea what you are talking about,” replied with their sound and will continue to experi- Thursday 17th May Johnny, not amused at all. Personally, I would ment with it in their upcoming album, This is think twice about telling John Lydon out of all PiL. The two songs I was most fond of at the gig I cannot decide whether Zulu Winter people about what punk means. As she pro- were ‘Disappointed’ and ‘Religion’, especially are some sort of hipster wet dream tested her innocence, her ignorance was quickly the latter one as it was stretched to 10 minutes or an epic stadium band in waiting. unravelled as Johnny asked her how she knew with bass fi lling the room until your ears started Bloc Competition A show at the Boston Arms seems what she thought she knows about punk. No bleeding. There were no supporting acts with to point to the former but then a sup- straight answer. I remember my friend saying PiL playing a two hour set followed by a half- port slot for Keane’s upboming dates something along the lines of “you can’t tell the hour long encore. Some old fans may not like suggests otherwise. Check them out founder of punk what punk means” which sent the direction to which PiL have headed but as Remember: To be in with a chance of winning two to make your mind up on their shim- her on her way and also got a few laughs from a teenager who has recently discovered their tickets for this years Bloc. weekender, send in mering and soaring pop. Also have the others. She came back with a vengeance music, I remain keen and interested to see what your answer to “Which Imperial alumnus is playing a look at the lead singer’s jaw: you later on in the night and told me my hair is not more they have to offer. With Rotten working Bloc?” to [email protected] by 16/05/12 at could cut glass with it. punk, simply wavy. Johnny and co leapt to my his socks off, I can only hope that PiL will ap- 4pm. More details can be found on the Felix Mu- Mark England defence and told her “THIS IS PUNK, HIS peal to the old and the new simultaneously. My sic Facebook page. HAIR IS PUNK.” As someone who gets teased best wishes for Johnny and co. 22 Friday 11 MAY 2012 FELIX Film Editors: John Park Lucy Wiles FILM fi [email protected] Celebrating 100 year You might have noticed slight changes made in the usual logos of Universal and Paramount Studios. No lon year anniversaries. 2012 marks the milestone executives are so gladly celebrating and in congratulating th

1. E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial 6. American Graffi ti It hardly comes as a surprise that the much-beloved alien offering from Forget American Pie, George Lucas’ 1973 Best Picture nominated teen- the Steven Spielberg takes the top spot as biggest money-maker. The age dramedy is one of the most influential, significant coming-of-age technological accomplishments amaze even to this day, but what E.T. films of all time. It kick-started the acting careers of Harrison Ford, does successfully in its story-telling is to have a heart. “Phone home” Ron Howard and Richard Dreyfuss, and this bittersweet, rather touching has become an iconic line, and this has garnered interest as being ac- reflection of impending high-school graduates is a highly memorable tress Drew Barrymore’s acting debut, who was barely 7. piece. A timeless portrayal on what it means to grow up.

2. Jaws 7. National Lampoon’s Animal House Another Spielberg entry (don’t get tired of him just yet, he still has plenty This remains to be one of the most profi table fi lms of all time, given more on this list), he is the man to blame if you have a phobia of sharks its modest budget and huge returns. Despite its mixed reviews upon or oceans in general. Before the days of fancy computer graphics, Spiel- release, director John Landis’ hilarious tale, in which a group of mis- berg’s vision of a series of shark attacks on men terrified so many of us behaving fraternity brothers plan a revolution against the dean of their that coupled with John Williams’ unforgettable score, Jaws has become college who threaten to evict them, has since become a fan-favourite, an essential viewing despite its uninspired sequels. fi rmly holding its position as one of the best comedies of all time.

3. The Sting 8. Back to the Future Coupling two of the hottest (both in terms of looks and talent) actors No doubt the exceptional Michael J. Fox’s most well-known and cele- working back in the day, Paul Newman and Robert Redford formed one brated roles, this is an example of that rare hybrid of action, adventure heck of a hustling team conning a ruthless criminal banker. Winner of and sci-fi which both harsh fi lm critics and the public absolutely adore. seven Academy Awards including Best Picture, The Sting is possibly the The energy with which its brilliantly constructed narrative takes place most likable film of all time, which would explain the sensational box- is exhilarating, and the script doesn’t forget to include some killer hu- office receipts this raked in. mour in the midst of all the insane spirit.

4. Jurassic Park 9. Smokey and the Bandit Yes, this is another Spielberg achievement. Whenever you see a glass One of Burt Reynolds’ most iconic roles, his Bo “Bandit” Darville is the of vibrating water, do you immediately jump to the likelihood that dino- full embodiment of the 70s hipster American lad, laying back with his saurs may be on the loose? Thank Mr Spielberg once again for instilling no-nonsense demeanour, thick moustache and riding fancy cars. The such fear in you. One of the greatest blockbusters of all time, you owe fi nancial success brought about two sequels and even a spin-off televi- it to yourself to sit through the thrill ride of your life, as troublesome sion series. Although originally planned as a B-movie, this went on to creatures lurk around every corner. become the fourth highest grossing fi lm of the year.

5. Airport 10. The Lost World: Jurassic Park A mass ensemble disaster piece, the cast is quite astonishing, consist- Thought you were done with Spielberg? Not quite. The tenth highest ing the likes of (deep breath) Burt Lancaster, Dean Martin, Jean Seberg, honour on this list goes to the sequel (shock horror!) following Spiel- Jacqueline Bisset, George Kennedy, Helen Hayes, Van Heflin, Maureen berg’s epic dinosaur disaster piece. Although everyone agrees this Stapleton, among others. Airport has the reputation of being the first to doesn’t capture the magic and creative genius Spielberg managed with invent the disaster film genre, but looking back today, the film is over- his original, the hype surrounding the sequel was clearly strong enough long, full of ageing stars and lacks genuine thrills. to propel this to its number 10 spot. FELIX Friday 11 MAY 2012 23 FILM rs of fi lm production nger the usual globe nor the mountain covered in snow, both companies are proudly showing off their 100- hem, Felix Film looks back at the studios’ biggest fi nancial hits. Here’s to 100 more glorious years!

1. Titanic 6. Grease Thanks to the most recent 3D conversion re-release of James Cam- ‘We Go Together,’ ‘Summer Nights,’ ‘You’re the One That I Want,’ are eron’s juggernaut, Titanic has sailed past the 2 billion-dollar mark in- only a select few of what the musical phenomenon Grease brought ternationally. It held the record for highest grossing fi lm of all time until along with it. John Travolta is both hunky and smooth as he dances Cameron beat his own record with Avatar. 15 years on, the romance away at a car wash, whereas Olivia Newton-John is the sweet and inno- between Jack and Rose shows no sign of cooling down, as audiences cent darling waltzing around in her skirt until her hysterical last-minute worldwide still fl ock to the cinema to watch the doomed lovers sink. makeover. The less that is said about the sequel though, the better.

2. The Ten Commandments 7. Love Story Cecile B. DeMille’s almost four-hour long biblical epic requires a heck “Love means never having to say you’re sorry”...either the most roman- of a lot of patience, tasty snacks and intermittent loo breaks to sit tic thing you can hear someone say, or a vomit-inducing, corny cheese- through. It might even be faster to scan through the Book of Exodus fest. Whatever you take away from the line, we’ll agree with you, since (on which this is based) instead. But this mother of all epics puts even Love Story is a truly acquired taste of a fi lm. It’s manipulation after Cleopatra to shame; DeMille spends as much time on focusing on the manipulation, but the impossibly good-looking charms of Ryan O’Neal lavish scale of his production as he does on his leads. and Ali MacGraw may be hard to resist.

3. Raiders of the Lost Ark 8. Beverly Hills Cop Steven Spielberg wasn’t only making colossal fi nancial hits with Uni- Once upon a time, you might be surprised to hear that Eddie Mur- versal – his Indiana Jones fi lms were backed by Paramount who made phy was once considered a serious, profi table movie star. A lot has an absolute fortune out of the series. Harrison Ford was a hit with changed in thirty years, but it doesn’t alter the fact that Murphy’s hit both the ladies (with his looks) and gentlemen (this time, more with his cop comedy spent the 2nd most non-consecutive weeks (28) at the heroic status), with the ever-so brilliant Spielberg further cementing his number one spot in the U.S. box offi ce, outdone only by Titanic. What- status as one of the big players in Hollywood. ever happened to him is anyone’s guess.

4. The Godfather 9. The Greatest Show on Earth It certainly would have been odd if “The Greatest Film Ever Made” The second Cecile B. DeMille feature to nab a spot on this list, this didn’t make the list of the highest grossing fi lms of all time. Considered visually dazzling feature full of actual circus acts, never-before-seen by many critics and fans to be the quintessential movie that is the rep- scale and the unforgettable James Stewart cameo as Buttons the resentation of perfect fi lmmaking in every sense, you have to see it to Clown, walked away with the Best Picture Oscar in 1953. Again, the believe just how good this is. The sequels are just as good, but nothing fi lm has a considerable running time, but you’ll barely notice with all tops the original... oh, and that infamous horse’s head. the extravagant set pieces.

5. Forrest Gump 10. Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom Pulp Fiction fans, look away. The very fi lm that stole the Best Picture Ever the master in directing sequels that are as fi nancially success- Oscar in 1995 from Quentin Tarantino’s beloved crime thriller takes the ful as its predecessor, Spielberg makes another entry to this top 10 number fi ve slot on Paramount’s biggest money-makers. Tom Hanks, list with Temple of Doom, a direct follow-up to Raiders of the Lost Ark. one of the most likable faces around Hollywood, plays a character ev- The critical reception wasn’t as warm, with dislikers complaining of the eryone loves to treasure, living out a narrative that is as sugar-coated fi lm’s vulgarity and senseless darker turn, but it would appear the audi- and sweet as a box of chocolates. ence loved it just the same. 24 Friday 11 MAY 2012 FELIX Film Editors: John Park Lucy Wiles FILM fi [email protected] Curse of the dead man at Who’s that knocking world’s stranger tides on my door? Silent House The Pirates! In an and there isn’t much in the way of plot called) adults like myself. Children’s twists, none that couldn’t be guessed movies can run the risk of patronising Directors Chris Kentis, Laura Lau Adventure with ahead of time anyway. However, this their audience (and losing the inter- Screenwriter Laura Lau fi lm succeeds in telling it in a charm- est of both adults and children). This Cast Elizabeth Olsen, Adam Trese, Scientists! ing and amusing fashion. The writing fi lm avoids that. The jokes are funny Eric Sheffer Stevens is fi lled with jokes and humour, and a regardless of whether you’re eight or Director Peter Lord, Jeff Newitt John Park Screenwriter Gidoen Defoe surprising amount of innuendo for a eighty. Indeed, several jokes revolve Cast (voice) Hugh Grant, Salma children’s fi lm. It also helps that the around the Pirate Captain inadvertent- Hayek, Jeremy Piven stop-motion characters are just so live- ly hinting at evolution to young Dar- Here is a fi lm that is more likely to im- ly and fun to watch. win, accessible only to those aware of press than scare. Depending on what Rhys Davies In addition to Grant and Tennant, the his contribution to science. you’re in the mood for, Silent House cast is fi lled with a host of British tal- In short, this is the perfect fi lm for could be the fi lm for you. It would be Making that silly face won’t help My girlfriend sometimes says that I’m ent. Martin Freeman, Brendan Gleeson the Easter Holidays. Children will en- best not to expect many jump scares just a big kid sometimes. That doesn’t and Russell Tovey all take their place joy it, adults won’t mind going along or any blood, gore and guts. Instead bother me – kids get all the really cool among the Pirate Captain’s most mot- with them, and students can sneak in be amazed at how this feature fi lm the key. The back door? Nope, it’s pad- stuff. After going to see this fi lm, that ley crew, Imelda Staunton plays an im- and pretend they’re with their cousin or looks as though it was fi lmed in one locked shut. She runs upstairs. Hides opinion is now fi rmly cemented in her perious and pirate-hating Queen Victo- something. It’s not a particularly inno- long take, without ever making a scene again. Guess what, found again! It’s a mind. ria, and Brian Blessed even makes an vative or imaginative story but it is told change. There are some black-outs tiresome repetition that was never truly From the studio that brought us Wal- appearance as the King of the Pirates. in a fresh, entertaining way. Go and see sure, and the number of continuity scary in the fi rst place. lace and Gromit and Chicken Run , Pi- Few fi lms can boast of such a rosta and it if your girlfriend worries that you’re errors is somewhat laughable, but it’s But what the seemingly one long rates! revolves around the exploits of a this one keenly avoid the mistake to a little too mature for your age. the real-time, real-life experience that take does add to the atmosphere is its rather amusing crew of pirates, headed cram them all onscreen. Each character counts. Of course, this was not shot undeniably claustrophobic set and with by the Pirate Captain (voiced by Grant). is given their proper time. in one long take. But the director tries so many shaky close-ups of Olsen, the The plot sees the pirates, accompanied The fi lm is punctuated at times by very hard to keep everything fl owing. intensity escalates as when things get by a young Charles Darwin (voiced by modern music such as ‘London’s Call- Film-buffs or any eagle-eyed members going, the audience isn’t given a single David Tennant) head to London to ex- ing’ by The Clash and ‘I’m Not Cry- of the audience will be able to spot second to have a breather. The air feels hibit Polly, a dodo, to the Royal Soci- ing’ by Flight of the Conchords, usu- where the edits took place, but why try tight, and because the 88-minute run- ety. The Pirate Captain hopes that the ally during a montage scene. While to dissect and trivialise what actually ning time is the exact same time pe- enormous cash prize will secure his bid always apt for the onscreen action, it looks quite remarkable? riod she experiences in the fi lm, you for the Pirate of the Year award. did jar me a little from the 1830s. Like any haunted house horror, the know she can’t do anything radical or There is nothing original about the This fi lm is aimed at children but fi lm opens with an abandoned, worn- unconvincingly heroic. She just doesn’t story. It’s an old one, a common one, the humour was just as funny for (so- Mine’s bigger than you Sparrow! down house that is anything but silent. have the time. And so the anticipa- A place you wouldn’t want to live in, tion for the ending and answers to our essentially. The walls have holes in burning questions builds up like never them, windows have been bolted shut, before and the importance of giving a there is very little light, the phone line reasonable answer becomes ever more is not connected, there is a strange crucial. Bye, bye Miss American Pie neighbour kid, the fl oors creak, the Unfortunately, Silent House doesn’t doors squeak, and so on. Unknowingly get many points on how creative or entering this house are Sarah (Olsen) how big of a shocker the ending is. American Reunion (Hannigan) now have a young boy, but it certainly feels nice to have them and her family who are getting ready to Instead what is commendable is how and have very little time to spend for back. move out of their lakeside retreat. With the fi nal few minutes are shot. Us- Directors Jon Hurwitz, Hayden themselves. Oz (Klein) is a sports news Trying to squeeze in quieter drama her father (Trese) and uncle (Stevens), ing clever camera tricks and angles, it Schlossberg anchor working in L.A. with a smoking in the midst of all the chaos that arises they are there to pack things up, fi x a tries its best to explain and tie up the Screenwriters Jon Hurwitz, Hayden hot new girlfriend. Kevin (Nicholas) is from the gang’s arrival back in their few dodgy places, so the new owners loose ends. But unfortunately like most Schlossberg a stay-at-home architect completely de- hometown, the fi lm’s frequent mis- can move in. horror fi lms, not every question is an- Cast Jason Biggs, Alyson Hannigan, Seann William Scott, Chris Klein, voted to his wife who makes him watch steps originate from trying to attach As the work begins, she starts hear- swered. Given the sustained tension Thomas Ian Nicholas, Tara Reid, the likes of Gossip Girl and The Bach- dull life lessons and deeper themes ing odd noises. Sometimes they’re in the fi rst half, the pay-off is rather Eugene Levy, Jennifer Coolidge elorette. And of course, Stifl er… he has into the many comedic moments. Pain- nothing, but soon they develop into bland, and the short length of the fi lm a job. No, really, he does. But it’s clear fully obvious messages are dragged out more menacing, demanding knocks comes to a surprisingly brisk fi nale. John Park Stifl er hasn’t grown up one bit, hitting through revelatory conversations char- and thumps. Upstairs, outside, down- After the unprecedented success of on women in the workplace with his acters share in unnecessarily drawn- stairs in the cellar, everywhere she the Paranormal Activity series, the They’re back! Or more specifi cally, usual, crass practice. out scenes that unfortunately contribute goes, these sounds start haunting her. phenomenon of “found-footage” hor- Stifl er’s (Scott) back! And so is Jim’s Bringing them all back is the high- to the 113-minute running time, plagu- Her father, like all men do in horror ror fi lms has, in recent years, become Dad (Levy)! And so is Stifl er’s Mom school reunion, class of ’99. And with ing the many crucial moments of the fi lms, assures here that it’s an empty an almost annual tradition in which (Coolidge)! Do we really care about this, the gang is exactly as you would fi lm’s fast-paced wit with sudden nar- house and that she’s being paranoid. half-hearted scripts make their way anyone else? A lot of the comedy that expect them to be, doing and saying ev- rative breaks. But this doesn’t put her mind at east, into shaky-cams and are presented to sticks to our mind revolves around erything that is required of them, and Original fans of the series will no and soon, even her father seems to van- somehow scare someone. Silent House these three characters, and with Ameri- a lot of the gags work because of the doubt welcome back their favourite ish into thin air. rises above the worst of the sub-genre, can Reunion, these three are the ones fi lm’s loyalty to the characters its pre- characters with open arms, and even What’s disappointing is how, aside and yet it lacks the truly creepy, hor- who once again steal the show, and decessors have successfully created. newcomers might appreciate the sur- from the fi lming technique, everything ror spectacle. It keeps everything close remind us why the American Pie fran- Their living situations have changed, prisingly accessible, hysterical comedy. is so ordinary and predictable. She to Olsen’s character, but sometimes it chise was such a hit. but they seem to remain true to them- There is a chance this could be the last takes out a kitchen knife. She loses it. feels too restricted to allow the audi- With Reunion the characters have selves, with actors who look more than outing for Jim and his gang (because She hides under the dining room table. ence to truly absorb the atmosphere. aged. Their lives have changed and no comfortable slipping back into the let’s face it, what excuse will there be She feels someone grab her leg from It’s nice to see a different idea (al- longer revolve around having to go to roles they originated over 10 years ago. next time to bring everyone back?) and behind. She is found. She tries to get though technically this is a remake of school. Instead they have their jobs, There have been numerous direct-to- this serves well as the fi nal, send-off out of the house. Oh no, the windows an Uruguayan fi lm) not go to waste, serious adult relationships, and for video sequels in between the Wedding piece, neatly wrapping everything up to have been bolted shut remember? What and it’s certainly not an awful fi lm to some, kids. Jim (Biggs) and Michelle and this Reunion. It’s been a long wait, a sweet and funny conclusion. about the front door? Darn it, she’s lost list in Olsen’s growing resume. FELIX Friday 11 MAY 2012 25 Books Editor: Maciej Matuszewski [email protected] BOOKS The Gormenghast Trilogy Maciej Matuszewski looks back at Mervyn Peake’s gothic masterpiece

“Whilst cool and edgy, it has also grown rusty in the last twenty years.”

“The novel is cer- tainly imaginative with a broad scope in mind.”

Peake’s haunting illustrations are a major asset of the series

ow do I describe a work is his vast library; to his son Titus, who do get a feel of the atmosphere and its the long illness that eventually claimed the sequels that Peake never managed like Mervyn Peake’s longs for freedom and a life outside soul. Peake’s life. to write. Gormenghast Trilogy? of Gormenghast; to the ambitious and Peake was also a master illustrator, While I usually don’t make recom- The series, by its very ruthless servant Steerpike – everyone’s with his drawings for Alice in Wonder- mendations about specifi c publishers, nature, seems to resist lives are irrevocably shaped by the cas- land having been universally praised. “Peake was also a in this case I would strongly advise Hdescription. While often classed as fan- tle itself. His work for Gormenghast is even bet- against purchasing the omnibus edi- tasy, and while it is clear that Peake has ter – the books are greatly enriched by master illustrator and tions of the trilogy published by Vin- been a massive inspiration to later fan- his beautiful, atmospheric line draw- the books are greatly tage. The countless typographical er- tasy authors like China Miéville, I tend “The plot is slow ings. Rarely have I seen pictures that rors are tantamount to sacrilege against to reject this label. The Gormenghast complement the feel of the novel so enriched by his beau- such a great classic. While some errors books are a truly unique creation, in a paced and, while well. will always slip through their sheer genre of their own – I have never read The third book, Titus Alone, focuses tiful, atmospheric number here makes it clear that nobody anything else like them. compelling in itself, on the eponymous protagonist as he even bothered to do a proof read before The fi rst two novels, Titus Groan and fi nally feels Gormenghast and sets out line drawings.” publication. While the editions remain Gormenghast, are set in the sprawling, its main purpose is into the world. This he fi nds to be a readable you’ll have a far more plea- crumbling castle of Gormenghast itself. strange place, ruled by rational but cold surable experience if you buy the indi- Situated at the base of Gormenghast to shine a light on and dispassionate science. The main There are, however, still fl ashes of vidual volumes of the series seperately, Mountain it is, apart from the small confl ict of the novel is that between this brilliance. Despite the new setting since for these, at least, the publishers mud hut village that clings to its walls, the workings of the harsh modern world and the oppresive Peake, for the most part, manages to seem to have actually done their job the only human habitation visible as far ancient citadel.” tradition of Gormenghast. maintain the timeless, otherworldly, properly. as the eye can see. This is a setting with- This is noticeably the weakest book gothic feel of his previous work. The out magic, elves or dragons. On the face in the series. While I was certainly cruel and macabre theatrical recreation of it the books could be taking place in This is not a book for those who like perturbed by his repeated depiction of of Titus’ life in Gormenghast set up by our world but there is something bril- fast paced action and adventure. The scientists as immoral the main criti- the self-centred Cheeta in an attempt to Have you read any good liantly, gothically, subtly off about the plot is slow paced and, while compel- cism that I have to level at Titus Alone punish him for rejecting her is executed books lately? Do you castle’s perpetual isolation and the be- ling in itself, its main purpose is to is that, now that we have moved away perfectly. The novel is worth reading haviour of its denizens. shine a light on the workings of the an- from Gormenghast castle, there seems for the poignant fi nal chapter itself, want to share your A vast cast of richly drawn characters cient, in large parts unexplored citadel, to have been a loss of focus. In many which has a wonderful sense of closure, opinions with others? populates the books yet they are not and the seemingly senseless rituals that places it unclear what the author is try- with Titus fi nally managing to recon- the real focus of the series. From the surround it. We never do fi nd out who ing to say or where the novel is lead- cile his rigid, rule bound upbringing in Email: books.felix@ depressed Lord Sepluchrave, the 76th build it or how it got in its present state ing us. The book, unfortunately, shows the castle with his desire for freedom, imperial.ac.uk Earl of Groan, whose only solace in life is but, what is far more important, we clear signs having been written during while leaving the door wide open for 26 Friday 11 may 2012 FELIX Games Editor: Laurence Pope

GAMES [email protected] Free Web Games The horror of the modern More exams? If you care about what sort of grades you’ll get it’s probably best you don’t read on any further my friends, because here I present to you two totally awesome web games that you day horror can play right now in your web browser. In order to play these you’re going to need the Adobe Flash Laurence Pope Monsters better, ones that look like they could have been Player plug-in, which can be installed from http:// humans work well, such as the nurses and get.adobe.com/fl ashplayer/ Regular readers might know I’ve covered a few Monsters are right at home in horror – but not all Pyramid Head from Silent Hill (pictured). On horror games in my time – Amnesia: The Dark monsters are effective. A good horror should use an unconscious level the brain creeps out, but Descent, Dead Rising 2, Dead Space 2, Limbo, them sparingly. The human imagination is a wild you can’t quite work out why. This is at least i saw her standing there and how could I fail to mention Baron Wittard: and vivid thing, and letting people imagine what a redeeming factor in Dead Space – whilst the Nemesis of Ragnarok (a game as scary as a furi- lies in a darkened room fi lled with heavy, laboured monsters may jump out at you all the time, http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/ ous kitten). I’ve also played a good few games breathing is far more effective than showing them. you can clearly see they’re horrifi cally mutated view/593631 I haven’t written about. Why am I telling you What is deemed visually scary by one person humans, and that ‘creep’ factor worms its way into this? Beyond proving I have no social life, I your brain. Talking of jumping out all the time... also hope to demonstrate that I’m rather par- tial towards horror games. They offer a unique “Letting people imagine gaming experience – when done well. Pacing and Tension Unfortunately, that’s my eternal gripe. As what lies in a darkened it is, horror has mostly lost its edge when it Everyone ought to be familiar with the concept comes to video games. Whilst what scares room fi lled with heavy, of tension – after all, it is exam season – but people differs from person to person there are pacing is less well understood. Pacing is how a few aspects that are vitally important when laboured breathing is the highs and the lows of the game mix together, you set out to create a game intending to nudge far more effective than and is better described with examples. people onto the edge of their seats. These are In Dead Space enemies attack you all the time just a few. showing them.” with little let-up. You are constantly attacking, and because of this a) you end up mentally exhausted, b) there’s no tension because you Tone may not to someone else, and vice versa. What know something is going to jump out soon, and sounds scary tends to be more common – think c) the monsters fail to have that same scare fac- You can’t control who you fall in love with, any more First, a game has to decide upon its tone before mewling kittens versus snarling, disembodied tor. Constant action in a game where you can’t than you can control the tides or the rise and fall of going any further. Is it going to be a scary hor- gurgling. Some of the scariest moments in just run ‘n’ gun makes for a negatively draining the Sun. Romance between a man and his zombi- ror, designed to creep you out? A light hearted Doom 3 simply involved noises in air vents and experience. fied lover must never, therefore, be looked down horror, where the horror serves merely as a corpses being dragged away by an unseen entity. On the other hand Amnesia manages pacing upon. minor backdrop? Games such as Amnesia or When a monster is seen, it obviously has well. A main annex in each level is safe, but i saw her standing there is a cutesy little game Dead Rising 2 have nailed this – they know to look scary. Now this, as I’ve said, is everywhere you branch off to isn’t. When you involving a (somewhat deluded) man guiding his what they want to be. Amnesia deliberately sets a very subjective point. However, one reach one of these annex’s calming music plays, zombified heart throb to a protective cage. In the out to scare you and does so with great aplomb. concept in 3D design tends to be well signifying a break in the action, allowing you to way stand an army of envious zombie Lotharios. Likewise, Dead Rising 2 wants you to have accepted, that of the uncanny valley, compose yourself before starting up again. It’s a Will you win her heart? Will she win your brains? mindless fun, and the ensuing goofy, off a hypothesis in 3D computer palette cleanser, and serves to keep the Only one way to find out... the wall gameplay with zombies thrown animation that states that game constantly scary by preventing in does not disappoint. There is nothing as a human replica the tension from overwhelming you. wrong with games like Dead Rising 2 becomes more and Is it unfair to compare these two radi- Silly Sausage or Left 4 Dead, because you know more human it cally different games, each with from the advertising what you’re will reach a point at different developers and goals? http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/ getting. which it looks and Perhaps. But ultimately both view/594013 No so with games such as acts almost games set out to scare, and in Doom 3 or Doom 3: Res- human. This the end only one succeeds. A urrection of Evil. Such is the point large part of this is simply games are set out as revulsion down to how the action is horrors, when in reality kicks in. spaced out. Pacing can- they’re better suited as Monsters not be ignored. action shooters. The Doom that look Making good hor- series up until 3 got this human or, ror is a lot more com- — demons were just a even plex than what I’ve handy enemy to mas- glanced over here, and sacre. Attempts my displeasure when to make Doom it comes to modern overly scary horror games has only have created just begun to break free a game that’s onto paper. Despite ev- neither here erything though, I have From silly zombies we get to a silly dog somehow ca- nor there. It’s nothing against any of the pable of contorting its body with complete disregard a competent aforementioned games — for its internal organs. If this wasn’t a flash game the shooter, they are all at least com- RSPCA would have a . but lots of petent. They’re just Twist, turn and guide your way through a series darkness not scary when they of lasers, floating mines and block switches to col- does not promised they would lect a bunch of jewels for no adequately explained a horror game be. To quote something I wrote in reason other than that it’s fun. Some randomly mov- make. my fi rst Felix article – “It’s [modern horror] fun, ing mines may frustrate slightly, but otherwise Silly but it’s like ordering a banana split and receiv- Sausage provides hours of fun (along with a mildly ing a fi llet steak – I like fi llet steak, and I’ll eat humourous title). it, but I would have much preferred my banana- based dessert.” FELIX Friday 11 MAY 2012 27 Travel Editors: Dushi Arumuganesan C h r i s R i c h a r d s o n [email protected] TRAVEL Accidents, emergencies, and Ajmer Stephanie Walton recounts an Indian Easter with some very important people

ow far is it to Ajmer?”, I asked, concerned. Ajmer, although fa- mous for its holy Mus- lim shrine to the great HSufi saint Moinuddin Chishti, was not originally on our itinerary. So how did we fi nd ourselves seeking its Accident and Emergency department at 11pm on Easter Saturday? Puskhar, a sacred Hindu town boast- ing 400 temples and a stunning holy lake, lies 11km from Ajmer. We and other westerners, some of whom appeared to live a Hippie lifestyle there, were soaking up its culture and charms. The ever threatening presence of mosquitoes, though, had prompted a friend to assemble his mosquito net, a non-trivial procedure that involves at- taching a cord to the ceiling. The ceil- ing, however, was already occupied by a viscous yet ineffectual electric fan, rotating very quickly in an attempt to stave off the heat. Indeed it is not sur- prising that there were two capitals of British India; Delhi for the winter and the Himalayan Shimla for the summer. We “Britishers”, although cowering under factor 50 sun block, sunglasses and hats, were still scorched by the Fans, cricket, presidents... it’s all go in Ajmer Rajasthani April heat. Needless to say, a brief collision between person and said fan neces- nor fi tted with headlights. After a few Prime Minister so we felt our proxim- watch the home team Delhi Daredevils ence as we saw Delhi crush Chennai sitated a speedy drive to Ajmer. We extremely cheap remedial stitches ity to history in the making. Also, a take on the Chennai Super Kings for with the aid of Kevin Pietersen. We already were familiar with the adage from an excellent doctor, we returned local gentleman tried to persuade us their Indian Premier League match. A envied his chance to get to know such “There are three things you need when to Pushkar, a little shaken. to make a large donation at a nearby fl ash thunder storm in the afternoon an enchanting and diverse country. We driving on Indian roads, a good horn, The next day we discovered that temple in order to quicken recovery. prompted fears of Wimbledon-esque wondered how he coped with all the good breaks and good luck.” Although Ajmer had another important visitor, Indeed all Indians we met found reli- rain breaks, but thankfully the only spicy curries, the unpredictable driv- blessed with all these, the drive was the Pakistani president, his fi rst trip gion important. And one of their new- adverse effect was a damp seat. A live ing and the crushing heat. And we still hair-raising since cows and wild to the shrine after 7 years. This fol- est religions is cricket. We discovered band and some unrestrained cheer- marvelled at how he managed to hit beasts are neither responsive to horns lowed important talks with the Indian this when we joined 48,000 others to leading enhanced our cricket experi- the ball so far. Homes away from home From the exam hall to an East Coast adventure

Dushi Arumuganesan ality of four weeks and a limited budget ple, but I also don’t want to have to pay have a go at haggling with some of the and more like a local. made up of leftover student loan forced an extra £100 (or $150) a night for the homeowners, as the prices aren’t set in Naturally, you always need to be care- It’s May, it’s exam season and naturally me to narrow that down. I now have a luxury of a guaranteed pee-free shower. stone like they are with most hotels. ful when paying for anything online but all I am thinking about is how to fi ll much shorter list made up of Washing- And this is where www.airbnb.com And it’s not merely the exclusive use airbnb act as an excellent middle man my four month long summer up with ton DC (to which the time allocated has has so neatly stepped in. A website of a toilet seat that has me drawn to the when it comes to payment; they charge as much travelling as possible. Having been extended since I watched National where hosts can advertise their rooms or idea of living someone else’s home – I the guest’s credit card as soon as a never been to the USA before, I fi gured Treasure for the fi rst time last week), even entire homes for short-term stays love that I’ll be coming back to my own booking is confi rmed and only pay the this year would be a good time to cross NYC, Boston, Cape Cod, while hope- at more affordable prices than hotels apartment each night in New York. Not host once the stay has commenced. I’d it off, and managed to rope in the boy- fully fi tting in much more of New Eng- and travellers can search for somewhere only have I saved over £400 on my ini- like to think I’ve been careful enough; friend on a four week-long tour of the land on day trips. to stay by preferred neighbourhood, lo- tial budget (which was for cheap hotels, I’ve contacted my hosts, checked out East Coast. The real diffi culty for a fi nancially cal amenities, and price – it’s perfect for bed and breakfast inns and hostels), but their verifi ed reviews and photos, I started off with a list as long as my restricted student planning a trip of this those in need of a middle ground when I actually prefer the location and living picked safe areas… but if you’re not arm of cities, beaches, national parks scale is fi nding affordable accommoda- it comes to lodgings. No, I can’t afford arrangements of all my chosen accom- reading my travel report in next year’s and (mostly) famous movie locations tion. I’ll admit it, I am uncomfortable a fancy hotel and yes, I’m too princessy modations to my originally planned Felix, then maybe stick to the commu- that I wanted to visit… and then the re- sharing a bathroom with ten other peo- to slum it for a month. You can even ones because I’ll feel less like a tourist nal bathrooms. 28 Friday 11 MAY 2012 FELIX Puzzles Admiral: James Hook

PUZZLES [email protected] Last Week’s Solutions Nonogram – Baked Goods

1 1 Nonogram 1 3 1 3 1 1 1 3 1 1 1 1 1 3 1 1 3 1 1 1 2 2 2 1 1 1 3 1 7 4 3 5 6 3 3 3 6 5 3 4 7 1 We’ve been reliably informed that last 1 1 1 1 1 1 week’s Nonogram 0 didn’t work, sorry! 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1

This week’s has been 13 checked and double checked alongside 1 1 external examiners, 1 1 so if this one fails as 1 9 1

well, blame them. 2 2 Remember, if you 2 7 2 ever want to submit 15 your own puzzles 4 4 to the section, just 9

email puzzles.felix@ 7 imperial.ac.uk! 5

The cells in a grid have to be coloured or left blank according to numbers at the side of the grid. The numbers measure how many unbroken lines of filled-in squares there are in any given row or column. The overall solution should yield some sort of picture, or as good as a picture can look in monochrome on a 15x15 grid. As Crossword 1,516 usual, answers to [email protected].

Across 1. Thickened 6. Fungi 9. Omega 10. Nails 11. Tic 12. Pioneer 14. Tangram 15. Hobos 16. Frostbite 19. Antarctic 21. Islet 22. 3031 3 SLITHERLINK FUCWIT Carpark 25. Epitome 27. Urn 28. Apart 29. Lodge 31. Te- 3 2 2 3 Hold on to your collective hats, League Leader Board pee 32. Grassroot Down 1. Troops Slitherlink makes a triumphant 2. Ice 3. Krakens 4. Nonprofi t 5. 3 2 2 1 1 return! Teams:Teams: Drift 6. Fishnet 7. Noter 8. Incum- The aim with Slitherlink is to The Felix University/Col- Elbowfart 147 lege-Wide Invitational bent 13. Orbit 15. Headcount 17. 2 3 3 2 make one continuous closed loop The Jailbaits 126 Tournament League is Orchestra 18. Igloo 20. Realale 21. by connecting the dots. The num- both new and improved, Icicles 23. Runup 24. Krang 26. 22 2 bers in each square indicate how Pegasus & Parrots 103 with prizes for both the Eject 30. Duo many edges of the square are part Paddy Got Bummed 55 winning team and the 0 3 1 of the loop, so if it contains a winning individual. “2”, you know that two and only Cum Puzzling Sluts 47 1 3 1 2 Points are awarded for two out of four edges have lines. Team Nuclear 43 each puzzle solved, It’s Murdoch O’Clock! That’s all the info you need to get Ludibrium Lads 14 double if you’re the fi rst 3 0 121 the one logical answer (though correct solution. waiting a week to see the solution #1 Hugh Grant 3012 IIndividuals:ndividuals: Send your solutions to #2 George Clooney will also do). Answers to puzzles. Jeremy Neale 138 puzzles.felix@imperial. #3 Angelina Jolie 2 3 2 1 1 [email protected]. We can’t ac.uk! get enough of your answers, for Wael Aljeshi 46 reals. FELIX Friday 11 MAY 2012 29 PUZZLES Cryptic Crossword 1,517

Wordoku 1 2 3 4 5 6

7 8 109

11 10 12 15

I R M A N 13

1311 1417 18 191512 2016 E M P N D R 132217 23 182414 1915 25 16

19

S R 2620 17 21 22 1823

D M A I 1924 25 20

2621 22 I A Across Down

1 Newly known headless bird aimed 1 Diamond mob rush in chaos (7) I E R A S M with no eye (7) 2 Sodium tail lacking one relating to 4 Correct Don again (7) birth (5) 7 Above the rest in Amazon topiary 3 Phone ET about C jargon (7) (2,3) 4 Revive her serf, collapsed (7) P A S E N 9 Lay to rest between (5) 5 Regarding ten mixed up: don’t leave! 10 Letter I code cryptically may reveal (5) the truth (3,8) 6 A fish missing tea is called Mr, not 11 We say tend to Anthony, lackey (7) Dr (7) 12 David’s shield spell agony without 8 Evade troubled Peter, a vicar (11) reason (7) 9 Smashed in deadly topless hat – Ed. 13 Country mare confused baffl ed CIA (11) (7) 13 Ring University of London Unions 15 Due to see a cub distraught (7) after Ann (7) The return of a legend. 17 War-torn Malaga joined together, 14 Sharp sounds like a fisherman (7) The traditional wordoku has every united (11) 15 Yokel relations follow bump (7) row, column and 3x3 box containing 19 Lord, that is, with leg (5) 16 Shape assorted pie, sell at random one letter each. The end result is a rath- 20 Wilt? Oh, in fall (5) (7) er useless word or phrase that appears 21 Outsider fi xed society magazine 17 Silver tarnished cross might be in one of the rows or columns. without thank you (7) secret (5) As usual, answers to puzzles.felix@ 22 Presently at this location, an item 18 “Cease,” we hear, “poem is one way imperial.ac.uk, but the whole grid here doesn’t exist (7) only” (5) please, not just the word. HINT: The word isn’t ‘tnetennba’

Following the groundbreaking suc- Michael’s Revision Fasstangle cess of January’s Benedict Cumberbox comes a handy revision/procrastina- tion tool from illustrious actor Michael Contributions Fassbender. Heed his steely gaze and use this box to your advantage. Derive your favou- rite equation, perhaps. Draw a horse. wanted! Or introduce the man who brought you the defi nitive Mangeto to an arctic land- scape; the possibilities are quite liter- ally endless. If you’d like to contribute by sending in puzzles, comics or even some ed- Take a shot and send the results in iting, e-mail [email protected]. Be they horrendously com- to [email protected]. Last plicated things or funky picture puzzles you think readers would like, time we ran something like this we only do get in touch. General suggestions are also welcome. got one entry, and that was from Amer- ica. Expectations are higher than ever. 30 Friday 11 may 2012 FELIX

HANGMAN 2.0 [email protected]

DRUNK MATE OF THE WEEK THE NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS

World’s loneliest press

It’s not big and it’s not clever. Do something more constructive, like growing a revision beard, then send it in conference gets underway citySCOPES – invaluable advice for the summer interns out there CANCER TAURUS GEMINI VIRGO ARIES LEO

Let’s touch base. At the end When in doubt, run that idea As a salesperson, you should It looks as though you’re rac- Do not follow where the path If a=1%, b=2%, c= 3%, etc., of the day, there has been you’ve had fl oating around begin to rate yourself as the ing against the clock towards may lead. Go instead where what does ‘attitude’ add up a signifi cant change in the in the back of your mind up best in Europe. Once you de- an arbitrary goal, but when there is no path and leave a to? Figured it out yet? That’s way people percieve you the fl agpole. Assess the re- cide to work for yourself, you push comes to shove, the trail. What chance gathers right. 100%. Attitude is job recently. You wholly enjoy actions of your colleagues may never go back to work devil is in the details. Do not she easily scatters. A great one. When you’re up to your the positive attention. But and proceed accordingly. If for somebody else. Sell the wait to strike until the iron is person attracts great people armpits in alligators, it’s hard remember that if you can’t you are cautious, the results crunch, not the apple. Keep hot; but make it hot by strik- and knows how to hold them to remember to drain the ride two horses at the same may prove fruitful and fairly in mind at the same time that ing. Remember, if you’re go- together. It’s a 24/7 business, swamp. No crime is so great time you shouldn’t be in the unique. A picture is worth opportunities are like buses, ing to be thinking anything, and it’s time to separate the as daring to excel. Don’t let circus. Don’t sell the steak, 1,000 words, sure, but it uses there’s always another one you might as well think big. wheat from the chaff, and anyone tell you otherwise. sell the sizzle. up 3,000 times the memory. coming. Words to live by. then bring them together. Stay strong. SAGITTARIUS CAPRICORN AQUARIUS SCORPIO PISCES LIBRA

You have a lot riding on the The expectations of life de- To win without risk is to tri- It may be true that the ear- Web 2.0 is all the rage at the Buzzwords buzzwords buzz- success of an ongoing proj- pend upon diligence; the umph without glory, and a ly bird gets the worm, but moment, but what about Life words buzzwords buzzwords ect, so give it an extra push mechanic that would perfect clean desk is a sign of a keep in mind that the sec- 2.0? Everybody needs to buzzwords buzzwords buzz- and see it soar. The only his work must fi rst sharpen cluttered desk drawer. Also, ond mouse gets the cheese. push the envelope and gen- words buzzwords buzzwords place where Success comes his tools. You need to be a penny saved is a penny It’s time to stop paving the erate the required synergy to buzzwords buzzwords buzz- before Work is in the diction- aware of what others are do- earned. Bear in mind, how- cowpath and knuckle down bring about a real paradigm words buzzwords buzzwords ary, and there’s only one IF ing, applaud their efforts, ac- ever, that you can’t be a true with some facts and stats. In shift in today’s society. Take it buzzwords buzzwords buzz- in LIFE – between the L and knowledge their successes, winner until you have lost. addition, there’s something the next level and bring your words buzzwords buzzwords the E. Go hard or go home. and encourage them in their Stick a fork in it, it’s done. you’ve been meaning to say A-game to the table. Let’s hit buzzwords buzzwords buzz- When the rubber meets the pursuits. When we all help After all, you have to spend to a loved one, but it can wait the ground running and step words buzzwords buzzwords road, there’s only one choice. one another, everybody wins. money to make money. because the FTSE’s up. up to all of the plates. buzzwords buzzwords. FELIX Friday 11 may 2012 31 Sport Editor: I n d y L e c l e r c q [email protected] SPORT

Photography by Ben Lester SPORTISSUE 1517 11.05.12 Total Wipeout Relive IC’s historic 31–0 Harlington victory over the Medics at this year’s Varsity. Photography by Ben Lester

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