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Infidelity and Forgiveness: Therapists’ Views On Brigham Young University BYU ScholarsArchive Theses and Dissertations 2013-12-11 Infidelity and orF giveness: Therapists' Views on Reconciliation and Restoration of Trust Following Disclosure of Infidelity Miranda Mae Goldie Brigham Young University - Provo Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/etd Part of the Family, Life Course, and Society Commons BYU ScholarsArchive Citation Goldie, Miranda Mae, "Infidelity and orF giveness: Therapists' Views on Reconciliation and Restoration of Trust Following Disclosure of Infidelity" (2013). Theses and Dissertations. 3834. https://scholarsarchive.byu.edu/etd/3834 This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by BYU ScholarsArchive. It has been accepted for inclusion in Theses and Dissertations by an authorized administrator of BYU ScholarsArchive. For more information, please contact [email protected], [email protected]. Infidelity and Forgiveness: Therapists’ Views on Reconciliation and Restoration of Trust Following Disclosure of Infidelity Miranda Goldie A thesis submitted to the faculty of Brigham Young University in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Science Mark H. Butler, Chair Jeffry H. Larson Roy A. Bean School of Family Life Brigham Young University December 2013 Copyright © 2013 Miranda Goldie All Rights Reserved ABSTRACT Infidelity and Forgiveness: Therapists’ Views on Reconciliation and Restoration of Trust Following Disclosure of Infidelity Miranda Goldie School of Family Life, BYU Master of Science Infidelity is one of the most prevalent presenting problems in relational therapy. There are many conceptualizations of the healing process following infidelity and suggested interventions and treatment plans. Forgiveness is an essential part of relationship growth and healing interpersonal hurts. Reconciliation is relationship repair that can accompany forgiveness. In addition, restoring trust is essential to reconciliation. Means to accomplish rebuilding trust must be established. This study seeks to expand understanding of the treatment of infidelity specifically on the topics of forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration of trust through disclosure. The Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation and Trust Scale (FvRTS) was developed as a measure for therapists’ views and perception concerning these three topics. Through statistical analysis of the FvRTS, which was administered to relational therapists, this study investigates the views and opinions held by therapists concerning the relationship between reconciliation and forgiveness and the role of disclosure, both initial and ongoing, in restoring trust following infidelity. Therapists conveyed the view that reconciliation is not required for forgiveness. However, in their practice they encourage reconciliation following an affair. Results indicated that therapists perceive initial disclosure as having immediate negative impacts. But overall, therapists expressed a strong view that both initial and ongoing disclosure have a positive long term impact on relational healing. Keywords: forgiveness, forgiving, reconciliation, trust, disclosure, Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation and Trust Scale ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS There are many associates, friends, and family members to whom I owe my thanks and appreciation for their support and uplifting influence during my time in graduate school. I give my thanks to my parents who have unrelentingly supported me in many ways. Their prayers on my behalf, words of encouragement, and financial support all made the completion of this thesis and degree possible. They have felt every frustration and discouragement, and the joy of success along with me, and for that I am forever grateful. To my brother, Brad, I express my deepest thanks for advice and guidance along my path as a graduate student. And for his wife, Bekah, I am profoundly grateful. Their home was a place of peace during a stressful time and I thank them for allowing my thesis frenzy to take over their house for many weeks during the writing and editing process. Next I wish to give my appreciation to Dr. Mark Butler for continued encouragement and consistent expressed desire to see me succeed. Alongside Dr. Butler, to the complete faculty of the Marriage and Family Therapy program at Brigham Young University I express my thanks. They have shown great generosity and patience in continually granting the opportunity to complete my work at BYU. Lastly I thank many of the close friends that have listened to me, cheered me on, and prayed for me. The friendship of roommates and loved ones have played an integral role in the completion of this degree. Table of Contents Introduction ..................................................................................................................................... 1 Review of Literature ....................................................................................................................... 2 Prevalence and Types of Infidelity ..................................................................................... 2 Forgiveness ......................................................................................................................... 5 Reconciliation ..................................................................................................................... 9 Relationship Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation .................................................... 12 Restoration of Trust .......................................................................................................... 15 Initial and Ongoing Disclosure ............................................................................. 17 Purpose of the Study ..................................................................................................................... 19 Methods......................................................................................................................................... 21 Design ............................................................................................................................... 21 Participants ........................................................................................................................ 21 Procedure .......................................................................................................................... 22 Presentation ........................................................................................................... 22 Informed Consent.................................................................................................. 23 Instruments ........................................................................................................................ 24 Results ........................................................................................................................................... 25 Factor Analysis ................................................................................................................. 27 Individual Constructs Analyses ........................................................................................ 29 Individual Item Analyses .................................................................................................. 29 iv Demographic Group Differences Analysis ....................................................................... 32 Discussion ..................................................................................................................................... 32 Summary of Results .......................................................................................................... 33 Demographic Differences ................................................................................................. 34 Limitations to the Study and Recommendations for Future Research ............................. 35 Clinical Implications ......................................................................................................... 37 Conclusions ....................................................................................................................... 39 References ....................................................................................................................................... 1 Appendix A: The Forgiveness vs. Reconciliation and Trust Scale (FvRTS) ................................. 6 Appendix B: Demographic Form.................................................................................................... 8 v Introduction Recent studies have estimated that as many as 60% of married people will have an affair at least once in their life (Abrahamson, Hussain, Khan, & Schofield, 2012; Gordon, Baucom, & Snyder, 2004). It is also approximated that 50%-60% of couples attending therapy participate because of problems relating to infidelity (Atkins et al., 2001). Of this 50%-60% of couples in therapy as a result of infidelity, most include reconciliation as a goal (Bargarozzi, 2008). In light of this information, it is essential that couple therapists understand mechanisms of healing and reconciliation and the therapy processes necessary to reach this goal. There are many diverse healing mechanisms that can be employed by a therapist to treat a couple in therapy following disclosure of infidelity. To understand treatment following infidelity it is important to understand some concepts and principles at the core of healing an attachment. The aspects of recovery from infidelity
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