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SUMMER 2014 H ISSUE I

Inspire. Amuse. Inform. Salad MANIA: Do’s & Don’ts ways to perk up for the 5 your greens with Newb -Wearer delicious add-ins

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Book

Review: What a Single Girl Can Do for Christ Trad Homemaker takes DIY to a new level SPARE THE ROD Small Town Cake Boss A mother of nine shares her reflections on discipline Dear Readers,

Several years ago, I caught myself flipping through a culture. We are the ones breaking molds and women’s magazine. It didn’t advertise itself as racy shocking society. and full of smut, but I was disappointed to discover it was. Its articles and advertisements were filled with At Altar and Hearth we think it shouldn’t “come with objectionable photos almost all of the time. Its the territory,” but since it does, that means we need writing didn’t reflect the principles and culture I to start creating our own territory. value. What do I want to see in a magazine? I want cheap I knew I wasn’t the only one. and practical for a large family, not a family of two. I want modesty and style, not one or the other. I want As traditional Catholics we find certain things morally fun and conservative, because liberals haven’t and culturally unacceptable. Contraception. cornered the market on happiness. This magazine is Immodesty. Evolution. But we’ve gotten used to “it meant to be a reflection of that and we at Altar and comes with the territory.” We shake our heads at Hearth are so excited to bring you light-hearted things we object to and can do little more than throw content you can relate to. the magazine in the trash. Cover Photo: Friends Hope you join us for the ride. Victoria Kiernan and It used to be that the -less wonder and the mini- Christina Vreeland skirt were counter-culture, breaking the mold. No M.R. Zapp more. Now those of us holding out for something Editor Enter our photo cover reflective of our conservative values are the counter- contest! See back page for more info.

Altar and Hearth To read this magazine: This magazine can be read online or Magazine is under downloaded as a PDF. If you have a printer, you can print the the patronage of magazine. The option to order a print copy is also available the Immaculate but hinges upon the number of orders received from Conception. interested parties. Please contact Immaculate Heart [email protected] if you are interested in of Mary, pray for print copies or subscriptions. us! We welcome your input, opinions, and comments. You can post to our FB page or send us an email. For submission information or to support Altar and Hearth in other ways, ©2014 Altar and Hearth Magazine All rights reserved. No part of this magazinecheck mayout ourbe reproduced website, www.altarandhearthmagazine.com. in any form without the written consent of Altar and Hearth Magazine. Certain materials may contain other copyright information pertaining to related proprietary material.

contents *********************************** health *********************************** Essential Oil cooling effect for temporary pain relief. It's extremely versatile and I dread Favorites running out of it. By Bridget Thomas Lavender: a lady’s The following favorite. information is based After giving off the personal experience of a birth contributor. It is lavender oil offered as an item of can be a interest to the reader. woman's best friend The information is not by helping intended to diagnosis or treat medical issues. Altar and Hearth those dreaded afterbirth pains. Throw it in with your does not endorse or suggest the use of essential oils without the , bath water, or on your pillow at night for a more consultation of your doctor. peaceful rest. I keep this at arm’s reach in the kitchen for sudden burns. Mix lavender and peppermint to get a fast, was first introduced to essential oils about two years cooling and healing action. ago, so I am not an expert, but since that time they have come to play a huge role in the health and well- I Tea tree: of my list to never run low on. I'm still being of my family. discovering the many uses of this wonderful oil. When a harsh sore throat strikes, I grab If you’re looking to this oil every time. Using the oral really understand “lick method” it helps my family your oils and how to ward off strep throat. Applied utilize them, I topically, it can help clear up a recommend books by stubborn rash. Bonus: A Dr. Daniel Penoel. As cotton ball soaked in tea tree is an aromatic medical said to get rid of those pesky skin doctor, Dr. Penoel has tags. And don’t be afraid to use it as a cleaning agent done extensive because it has “bacteria eating” qualities. research on the use of essential oils as treatment for a wide variety of illnesses. He has had phenomenal success Balsam fir: add this to your collection! and travels around the world explaining the science Balsam fir is well known for its de- behind why they work. stressing abilities. Interesting factoid about Balsam fir: According to St Used for thousands of years, these wonderful God-given Hildegard the devil hates the tree remedies are both safe and therapeutic in the right doses. because it promotes mental health & The best oils are derived from organic sources and are calmness. Who can't use a li’l peace in steam distilled, rather than pressed, so as to prevent their chaotic lives? It helps those damage to their therapeutic properties. struggling with the loss of a loved one to be more at peace with their situation. It also can change The following oils are my personal favorites to have on your brain pattern, for the better, when it comes to anger hand. issues. (*cough* Choleric temperaments take note! ☺)

Peppermint: this is a great one to grab for My "favorites list" seems to grow every week! I use lemon, digestive issues. I use it for both orange, and geranium frequently also. Once you dive into constipation and upset stomach. Around the amazing world of essential oils, you'll realize why so my house it goes into everything from many of them quickly find a spot in your treasure box of baked goods, to homemade candy canes favorites! Ω and toothpaste, and into a coconut oil based homemade ‘vapor rub’ to rid Bridget Thomas is a traditional Catholic congestion. But if you need a straight shot, it tastes mother living in the Midwest. Out of concern for her family of six children, her refreshing in ice cold water or made into a tea with a little incredible husband, and her Great Dane, honey. Applied on bumps and bruises it gives a quick she seeks alternative health solutions. 4 *************************************** outdoors ***************************************

{Have a Picnic} OUTSIDE allure

{intro yard games} Search ‘How to make an Outdoor Word Game’ on Better Homes and Gardens for a DIY tutorial.

{Enjoy a Hammock}

{Hang an Outdoor Chalkboard}

http://www.projectdenneler.com/2011/05/plein-air- artists.html

{Get Creative with lighting} http://growcreative.blogspot.com/2012/07/tin- can-lanterns-tutorial.html 5 **************************************** ****************************************

Do’s and Don’ts NEWB for the

SKIRT

WEARER

Do: WEAR A !

All sorts of horrible, dive-into-a-hole moments of embarrassment could be avoided by the use of a slip.

From “Say Hi to my polka dot underwear” to “wedgy bum,” Crepe Skirt all manner of mishaps and chagrin await those who go slip- Mid Length 49$ less. MIKAROSE.COM If you haven’t yet experienced stepping on your hem and dragging down your waistline, you will. And then you’ll be grateful your guilty-pleasure-splurge unmentionables weren’t obvious to the world.

Don’t: ASSUME LONG EQUALS MODEST.

Everyone loves knit, but beware the cling and stretch of t- cotton and lycra pencil . If it’s danger zone material, it can do one of two things: make you look really bad or make you look like modesty was your last concern. Knit Skirt Mid Length $29.99 MIKAROSE.COM 6

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Lovely as your body is, nobody needs to see every nook and cranny of your thighs and fanny!

Do: BUY SKIRTS THAT FLATTER.

Buying skirts that are right for you can be a real headache. There are legs down there that need to be made to look… less chunky, more shapely, whatever. And since when did an ankle have such impact?

Or does it? Find your length and stick with it unless you are in “yoga skirt” mode around the house. Branch out on the style, but stick with your length.

Some of the best skirt styles are calf- length A-lines, pencil skirts, mermaid skirts, and full skirts. See our list of favorite websites for cute and modest skirts at the end of this article.

Don’t: WEAR FULL SKIRTS ON Mesina $40 WINDY DAYS. APOSTOLIC CLOTHING.COM This might seem obvious, until you end up doing it. Take a lesson from the many women who have had their skirts play gone with the wind.

A parachute comes to mind in all the worst ways. It isn’t pretty – or modest.

Especially if you are wearing those knee-highs that roll right under the knees….

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Do: CHECK THE KNEE LENGTH.

You found a skirt you love. It’s cute. It hits below the knee. It isn’t too conforming… and then you sit down in the pew. Surprise, surprise! There are your knees.

Now you get to have fun discretely edging your waistline down as low as it will go and keeping your legs extended so that the skirt won’t pull up more, all the while hoping that no one else in your pew notices your knobs.

Lesson learned. When you buy skirts, check for knee length first by doing a test sit in the dressing room.

Don’t: BUY FRUMP GEAR.

Unless you plan on using it while butchering chickens.

That little house on the prairie skirt might be physically modest, but it also draws attention unless paired with something thoroughly modern like… hipster and a mod shirt.

Anything which draws too much attention, including “In your face! I’m so modest I from a different century,” is another form of ostentation and thus, pride.

Do: TUCK YOUR SKIRT UP.

Hardened skirt wearers know from child- (or painful experience) Mid Length Solid Tulle Skirt how important this is. It’s just a $44 APOSTOLICCLOTHING.COM matter of physics.

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There you are sitting down on a curb, a stair step, or a stool. Your knees are up, but your skirt is covering them. You think you’re good. You got this skirt thing down.

But you are completely oblivious to the fact that you are showing your glory (read guilty-pleasure-splurge unmentionables) to anyone across from you. That’s right.

Behold the tuck under, wherein you hold your skirt up under your knees, put your feet closer to your bum and ensure all your frilly lace goes unseen. Knit Midi A-Line in Black and White $34.99 Don’t: BUY SKIRTS WITH HIGH SLITS. JENCLOTHING.COM

Once upon a time, skirt makers decided that getting rid of the extra material in the kick pleat would allow the skirt to perform the same service (i.e., let the wearer walk in it without taking itty-bitty steps) while being more vavavoom.

And vavavoom it is. No matter the modesty in other ways, a slit halfway up your thigh defeats what you were going for... unless you were going for racy in the first place

Young men like the look of legs. They will be tempted by women wearing skirts that let their legs play peek-a-boo with the world. Let’s help them keep custody of the eyes by making sure our skirts are slit-less, or at least with a slit below the knee.

Midi Pencil in Tan Polka Dot $34.99 JENCLOTHING.COM

: [for skirts] ALTAR AND HEARTH LOVES

jenclothing.com mikarose.com belowtheknee.com apostolicclothing.com shabbyapple.com modcloth.com

9 newcreationapparel.com ********************************* fashion *********************************

she wore it to church that There was a rather Sunday. TH large plaque 19 C. attached to the Then I read one of the most wall. It told the unexpected and shocking things in story of the dress. my short life: the woman was Though there was condemned from the pulpit for MODESTY even older wearing such an immodest, clothing in the suggestive dress. museum, none had such a I remember stepping back, dazed. …OR IS IT? detailed history as this one. I stared at the dress from top to By Siobhan Ní Mhaoildhia bottom. I began to doubt that all my I believe I once experienced time The former owner was a young faculties were still functioning. travel. I was in a badly lit former Catholic woman, probably middle barrack-room, in the National class. She had I thought maybe I was suffering Museum of Ireland. I was gazing bought the from the after-effects of a long train lazily at old clothing from the last fashionable dress journey or dehydration. I read the few centuries, mostly belonging to to wear at her plaque again. But no, I was still in upper class women and children. brother's my right senses. wedding, if There were the common little sailor my memory I pitied the poor woman. If only of the boys and the pink serves me both she and the priest knew ribbon-adorned of the girls. right. As it what would become Mannequins clutched faded rag was the widespread in a few decades dolls, and old grey straw sat on best dress time! their heads. that she had, It even stated on the plaque Nearby were dark travelling dresses that it was not completely and a ladies cricket attire. I understood what made the understood, of course, that women dress attract such reproof, did not dress skimpily when they though it was suggested that participated in sport, so that was the bustle may have been a not much of a surprise. little too accented on the rear. I had second thoughts Just across from the cricket on the taste of the dress as dress was a blue silk dress. It it must have made the had all the hallmarks of the wearer look like she had a th late 19 century: ankle very large behind! length, accentuated bustle to the rear, lace trimming and a The shamed woman tiny . never wore that dress again. She probably I thought nothing strange of stored it in a wooden it. I just thought it was lovely. chest full of moth balls in The thought crossed my mind a draughty attic. Thus, it that the world would be a survives to this day, a different place if women had shining beacon of such good taste and modesty sensibility and of how low today. fashion has become. Ω Siobhan Ni Mhaoildhia is an 18yo I suppose that there must be Irish woman aspiring to become a a reason for keeping an translator, writer and historian. Interests include the Catholic ordinary enough dress in Faith, International politics and immaculate condition for art. more than a hundred years.

10 *************************************** spirituality *************************************** Pope Pius XII: An excerpt from QUESTA GRANDE VOSTRA ADUNATA Women's Duties in Social and Political Life

The Catholic girl to whom marriage is denied

'Vocation': this is the significant word which springs to our lips when we think of those girls and women who voluntarily renounce matrimony to consecrate themselves to a higher life of contemplation, sacrifice, and charity. It is the only word that fits such a noble sentiment. This vocation, this loving call, makes itself heard in many different ways, as many as the infinite variety of accents in which the Divine voice may speak: irresistible invitations, affectionate and repeated promptings, gentle impulses.

But there is also the Catholic girl who remains unmarried in spite of herself; and she too, if she believes firmly in the Providence of her Heavenly Father, recognizes the voice of the Master in the life that has fallen to her lot. 'The Master is here and calleth for thee.' [John 11: 28] And she answers the call; she abandons the fair dream of her adolescence and young womanhood, surrenders her hope of having a faithful companion to share her life, of making a home and family of her own. In the impossibility of marriage she discerns her own vocation and, sad at heart though resigned, she too devotes herself entirely to the highest and most varied forms of beneficence.

Motherhood is woman's natural function

Be she married or single, woman's function is seen clearly defined in the lineaments of her sex, in its propensities and special powers. She works side by side with man, but she works in her own way and according to her natural bent. Now a woman's function, a woman's way, a woman's natural bent, is motherhood. Every woman is called to be a mother, mother in the physical sense, or mother m a sense more spiritual and more exalted, yet real none the less.

To this end the Creator has fashioned the whole of woman's nature: not only her organism, but also and still more her spirit, and most of all her exquisite sensibility. This is why it is only from the standpoint of the family that the woman, if she is a true woman, can see and fully understand every problem of human life. And this is why her delicate sense of her own dignity causes her a thrill of apprehension whenever the social or political order threatens danger to her vocation as a mother, or to the welfare of the family.

Conditions unfavorable to the family and the dignity of woman

And in fact social and political conditions today are, unfortunately, fraught with this danger. Indeed, the sanctity of the home and therefore the dignity of woman threatens to become more and more precarious. This is your hour, Catholic women and Catholic girls. Public life needs you. To each one of you it may be said: 'Tua res agitur' [Horace, Epist. I, xviii, 84]: 'Your fortune is at stake.'

That public life has now for some time been developing in a manner unfavorable to the true welfare of the family and the true welfare of woman, is beyond dispute. It is to woman that various political movements are now turning in the hope of gaining her support. A certain totalitarian regime tempts her with marvelous promises: equality of rights with men; assistance during the period of gestation and labor; communal kitchens and other public services relieving her of domestic burdens; public creches and other institutions, maintained and administered by the State and local authority and exempting her from her maternal obligations towards her children; education without fees, public assistance in the case of illness . . .

We have no wish to deny the advantages to be derived from certain of these social measures, provided they are administered in a proper manner. We have in fact Ourself insisted that, for the same work and the same service rendered, women have a right to equal pay with men. But what We have called the essential point of the question still remains: Has all this improved woman's condition? Equality of rights with men has led her to abandon the home, in which she used to reign as queen, and subjected her to the same burden and the same hours of work. No heed is paid any longer to her true dignity, to that which is the firm foundation of all her rights: her distinctive quality of womanhood and the essential co-ordination of the sexes. The Creator's purpose for the welfare of human society, and especially of the family, has now been forgotten. In the concessions that are being made to woman it is easy to see, not so much the respect which is due to her dignity and her vocation, as rather a desire to build up the economic and military power of the totalitarian State, to which everything must be inexorably subordinated.

And what of a regime in which capitalism is dominant? Does it offer a prospect of real welfare for woman? We have no need here to describe the economic and social consequences of this system. You know its characteristic signs and you yourselves labor under the burden it imposes: the excessive crowding of the population into the cities; the ever-growing and all-invading power of big business; the difficult and precarious condition of other industries, especially the crafts and even more especially agriculture; the disquieting spread of unemployment.

Restore woman as soon as possible to her place of honor in the home as housewife and mother! This is the universal cry today. It is as though the world had suddenly awakened in alarm and horror to see the results of a material and technical progress of which it had hitherto been so proud. Ω 11

SYMPTOM:

You walk away from conversations with a sick feeling in the pit of your stomach that you said way too much. You feel like the naughty girl in the fairytale from whose mouth falls serpents and toads every time she speaks. You just told someone else’s secret, and now wish you had cut your tongue out before you said anything. DIAGNOSIS: Gossip A Gossip can easily find herself in the position of being a detractor, one who reveals the sins or faults of another without good reason, or a calumniator, one who speaks falsely about another person.

But beyond just these two faults, a Gossip is often meddlesome. She says more than she intends, wastes time, and betrays confidences. TREATMENT OPTIONS:

Since these faults are sins of the tongue, treatment of the habit relies on curbing the tongue. In order to do this, frequent reception of the Sacraments, prayer, and meditating on humility are necessary. It’s good not to share prideful judgments, but one wouldn’t want to be guilty of thinking them either. Avoid thinking the thoughts at all, or risk having a critical spirit.

Your best option is to avoid the people who get you going, the people you tend to be gossipy around. And if that’s everyone, you might consider becoming a 1. hermit.

The second best option is to go cold turkey. And there’s two different routes here. You 2. could just not say anything when talk is going on about other people… or you could just not talk at all. Ever. Silence is an effective tool on the prevention of sins of the tongue. Never share or reveal anything uncomplimentary about someone unless it is necessary.

In the event that neither of those two seem to work, duct tape is a cheap, easy solution - 3. and stylish to !

Finally, for a long term solution that may be a bit pricier, try the always-attractive 4. Gossip’s Bridle! Yes, it’s actually a thing. It may be readily available on Etsy. The nice thing is, you could probably get them in hammered bronze, 19th c. rusted iron, and oxidized copper green! Ω 12 *************************************** spirituality *************************************** 5 TITLES FOR BOOK REVIEW MOTHERS 1. The Mother by Cardinal Mindzentsy Based What a off a paper written while still a seminarian, Cardinal Mindzentsy’s The Mother illustrates the unique beauty Single Girl and purpose of motherhood. Available through the Angelus Press for $21.95. Can Do for

2. The Christian Mother by Rev. Cramer, D.D. Half admonitions and instructions Christ for Catholic mothers and half prayers for herself or her There are a growing number of single women moving children, The Christian throughout society. Many, if not most, are single by Mother is a handy book for choice, pursuing a career or higher education with the daily meditation and prayer. mistaken belief that they can put off their child-bearing Available from and then only have the “responsible” number of two or traditionalcatholicpublishing less children. .com for $13.40. Others, like many traditional Catholic single women, find themselves unable to find a suitable spouse. And sadly, they rarely have the support of their parishes, unless it is in regard to the expectation that 3. Counsels of Perfection for 3. Counsels of Perfection they are still seeking a spouse. ‘Singles’ groups aren’t for supporting each other as single people in Christian Mothers by Rev. P. for Christian Mothers by the world, but are established for the purpose of fomenting interaction between the single people in Lejeune Counsels has an Rev. P. Lejeune The the parish, leaving those who have come to terms with the fact that they will more than likely remain imprimatur from 1913 but is Counsels provide a single, out in the cold. as applicable today as it was practical methodology for then. A very spiritual work, it mothers to attain This booklet addresses some of the issues facing the young single woman, but its main purpose is to makes for excellent perfection in the spiritual provide counsel to those young women who have either voluntarily given their virginity to God, or meditation while also life. Available from must reconcile themselves to the single life. It’s initially a conversational take on female single life providing practical stpiusxpress.com for presented by a priest to a group of young people during a ski trip, with many of the metaphors drawn suggestions for daily living. $14.00. from the ski experience. It turns into a talk and then goes back to a conversational session. Its format Available from prevents it from being as dry as some other books on vocations and virginity may be, and those to stpiusxpress.com for $14.00 whom it applies might wish it were longer.

4. Ladies Sodality Published during the reign of Pope Pius XII, it makes the point that the number of single Catholic women will inevitably go up, and history has borne the good priest out. Single Catholic women are Prayer Manual by the here to stay. Father Faherty gives single young women concrete advice on how to live their lives as Daughters of Mary Holy single young women, not only in regard to their friendships and associations, but also in regard to their hour meditations, the Mass, work and parish life. and prayers for almost any occasion fill this paperback A young single woman could hardly remain unaffected by the attitudes of those with whom she book. Available from interacts. If these interactions are based on the premise that she is either fundamentally flawed, bold, or pitiful, it will only be a matter of time before she begins to question herself. She will struggle with daughtersofmarypress.com self-esteem, what God’s will is for her, and whether she is doing what she is supposed to be doing. for $12.00. And she has precious few people in her corner who will understand where she is coming from. Fr. Faherty may enlighten some by his discussion of the value of virginity, the fulfillment of single women’s maternal instincts through means other than marriage, and how to deal with crosses that may arise, loneliness among them. 5. A Mother’s Holy Hour by Fr Crawley-Boevey It is a shame that our single people are not given the support of their parishes. Time and again, single Taken from a larger book men are considered failures or looked on with pity; single women are frequently thought of as called Holy Hour, this booklet defective or having feminist leanings. To the contrary, in a statement that applies to both sexes, Father size pamphlet, is meant to be Faherty eloquently says, “It may be well to remember that though the various states in life can be meditated by a child’s classified as good, better, best, it may be preferable for an individual to excel in the good than to be mediocre in the best. Every priest recognizes the superior virtue of individuals in his flock. That bedside. Available from superior virtue does not necessarily mean they would have made good priests, brothers, or traditionalcatholicpublishing. sisters….When people once come to recognize the dignity of the vocation of the unmarried, another com for $1.98. desired result may come. Young women may get over the ‘marriage-at-any-cost’ attitude, which prompts them to try any marriage rather than remain single.”

What a Single Girl Can Do for Christ is available for $4.35 from Mother of Our Savior (www,traditionalcatholicpublishing.com).Ω 13 ************************************food************************************

Blackberry and Fontina Want to stay healthy but tired of the same old boring1. salad spruced up with (woohoo!) ranch dressing? A handful of blackberries, some red onion, and No doubt, ranch dressing is the creamy, nutty flavor of Fontina cheese great, but try out these hunger satisfying and taste-bud rounded off with a balsamic vinaigrette make tantalizing salads that raise the bar on the plain romaine. for an elegant side salad.

14

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2.Oriental Garden Crisp and crunchy water chestnuts and green bell peppers are balanced by the tart sweetness of Mandarin Orange slices and garlic

ginger dressing.

3.French Delight Shaved slices of Gruyere over thin pieces of green pears and whole pecan halves say holiday when matched with a tart and fruity

vinaigrette. Slices of crisp tart Gala apples, paired with Gorgonzola cheese and a Go Greek 4. sprinkle of walnuts, red onion and When served with a Greek vinaigrette, raspberry vinaigrette make a meal unto itself. succulent ripe figs, crumbled feta Galas and cheese and sliced almonds bring the 5. Gorgonzola warm, sun-kissed flavors of the Mediterranean to your salad greens. 15

**************************************** food ****************************************

Anchovies are an acquired taste for many, but this pizza comes together fast with little prep and a Technically, Ceviche is prepared with raw shrimp minimum of mess. or fish. Swap it out for more affordable cooked chicken and you have a fresh and filling light dinner.

Single Dish Dinners

One at a time, place a piece of wax or parchment Chicken Caesar Salad paper over chicken breast and pound flat. Season with salt and pepper then fry on an oiled This light on the belly, but filling Caesar salad is chock pan, turning only when white spots start to show full of goodies. Frying the chicken until golden brown on top. Cook for another five minutes or until brings out all the chicken-y goodness. golden brown and cooked through. Let cool. 2-3 Boneless Chicken breasts

2 heads romaine lettuce Cut chicken into bite size chunks. Toss lettuce, 1 can medium olives chicken and remaining ingredients together. ½ c. sliced red onion Serves 6 1 cup mild banana pepper rings or whole

pepperoncini 1 package croutons 1 cup grated parmesan cheese Caesar dressing 16

**************************************** food **************************************** Spinach Anchovy Chicken “Ceviche”

White Pizza Technically, Ceviche is prepared with raw shrimp or fish. Swap it out for more affordable cooked chicken Anchovies are an acquired taste for many, but this and you’ll have a fresh and filling light dinner. pizza comes together fast with little prep and a minimum of mess. 2- 3 boneless chicken breasts 3 cucumbers, seeded and diced 1 pizza dough (try store bought for a super quick 3 tomatoes, diced meal) 1 white onion, diced 3 cup package mozzarella/Italian blend cheese 1 bunch cilantro, chopped 1 tin anchovies ¼ c. lemon juice 1 package baby spinach leaves 1 tsp. salt Salt and pepper ½ tsp. pepper Garlic powder 1 tsp. garlic powder

Preheat oven to 375. Oil pan and roll out Bake chicken in foil for 1 hr. at 375. Let cool. dough. Chop anchovies super fine with the oil. Chop chicken into small cubes and toss with Sprinkle with ½ tsp. garlic powder and smash cucumber, tomato, onion and cilantro, lemon into a paste with the flat of your blade. Spread juice and spices. Serves 6. the paste out on the dough. Top with half the cheese, the spinach, and the remaining cheese. Sprinkle with ½ tsp. salt and a dusting of pepper. Bake for 20-25 minutes. FACT: From Tapas to Puttanesca sauce, the anchovy is loved around the world because of its high amount of umami, a natural flavor enhancer. For SUMMER

17

Fourth of July Dessert Kebabs The concept is simple and can be tailored a myriad of ways:

1) Start with a pan of baked and cooled brownies (preferably thrown in the refrigerator to chill and firm up to glorious decadent proportions)

2) Choose a few other kebab-worthy items, such as fruit (strawberries and blueberries in this case), marshmallows, etc. – the sky is the limit here.

3) Thread the brownies and fruit onto the skewers, drizzle with chocolate sauce if desired (why not??) and eat.

From melskitchencafe.com

Fourth of July Trifle *Pint of Strawberries *Pint of Blueberries *Loaf of Sara Lee Pound Cake (CUT IT LONG WAYS!) *Star cookie cutter *Whip Cream

Cut out stars with the cookie cutter and arrange it pretty.

From Lina at fancyfrugallife.com

18 ***************************************** food ******************************************

Sweet Southern Spice Rub

The day marking the declaration of our nation’s 2 tbs. garlic powder sovereignty is celebrated with a veritable meat fest. 1c. brown sugar The grills come out, the coals go in. Beer is 1tbs. oregano somewhere close at hand. And there is the 1tsp. pepper inevitable disaster of some sort or another. 2 tsp. kosher salt 2 tbs smoked paprika But this year you can try something different, some 1tbs. ground mustard new low-budget, large-family friendly marinades. 3tbs. chili powder They’ll steep your meat in flavor so amazing, you’ll 1 tsp. cayenne be coming back to them again and again, and not 1 c. oil just for the annual beef extravaganza. Mix together and meat evenly. Marinate for at least three hours or overnight. Marinades and rubs are great for slow cooking meat over open flames – just think of Brazilian steak house meat at your own table. If grilling isn’t doable this Fourth of July, try broiling instead. With the rack set half-way down in your oven, and well- marbled pieces of meat turned every 15-20 minutes until done, you’ll have an incredibly delicious meat meal that might make you rethink your love for the grill – at least temporarily.

Marinating tip: For maximum flavor penetration, Cilantro Marinade

marinate your meat 3 bunches cilantro in a freezer bag with 6 cloves garlic as much of the air 1 jalapeno 1c. lime juice removed as ½ c. oil possible. 1 tsp. cumin 2 tsp. oregano 1 tsp. salt Whirl it around in your food processor or blender until not quite pureed. Reserve 1/3 of the sauce for dipping later. Coat your meat and marinate for a minimum of three hours or overnight. 19

CAKE Small Town BOSS 20 **************************************** feature **************************************** Surrounded by her six children, the oldest who is eight, Theresa R. is the quintessential young, traditional Catholic housewife living in St. Mary’s, KS. She bakes cookies to raise money for her children’s school, cleans the house and makes dinner for her husband, a builder who built the house they moved into just months ago.

But that isn’t all she does. Two to five times a month, she bakes special occasion cakes in her home kitchen and then delivers them to clients in towns as far away as Topeka. By the look of her cakes, one would assume this home grown baker comes from a long line of home-making pastry artisans. Surprisingly, that’s not the case.

In fact, her latent abilities may not have seen the light of day at all were it not for Cake Boss, a Hoboken, NJ based TV show hosted by Buddy Valastro, a pastry chef turned TLC superstar. Four and half years ago, after giving birth to her twins, she saw a Cake Boss marathon.

“I was glued to it,” Theresa relates in an online interview. After seeing Chef Buddy Valastro make his cake creations, she kept thinking “‘I could do that!’ So that December I Wife made Sophia's birthday cake, my first ever fondant cake and felt like a kid at Christmas.”

She didn’t stop there. Watching the shows, she utilized Buddy’s techniques and started learning everything she needed to know to make her cakes bigger and more amazing.

After her mother was diagnosed with Amyloidosis, a potentially debilitating disease, she began selling cakes to help pay for medical bills and to help send her mother on a trip to Lourdes. Today, with four children still at home to take care of, lunches and to prep, and daily household chores to maintain, incorporating cake baking into family life is a delicate time balancing act - over a two to three day period.

Despite the time-consuming work it requires, Theresa says she loves it.

“It’s something that brings so much joy to people. I never tire of their faces when they first see the cake! And the kids are the best. You know when you did a good job or not,” she laughs. “Hate and love the way they are so brutally honest sometimes.”

She’s made birthday cakes and wedding cakes, cakes for friends and family and cakes for strangers, but her proudest cake moment? The “Owl Cake.” Mother “I made it for my Mom’s birthday a few years ago and…she absolutely loved it. I chose the owl because she always had this thing for owls. When she taught, she had them all over her classroom. It really did look like an owl and it is so many people’s favorite cake [that I’ve made.] I think I did it start to finish in five hours, on a weekend that I had three other cakes to make. That was a good day!”

And who is her favorite pastry chef?

“Definitely Buddy Valastro! He is an amazing talent and I love his family story, all the history in his bakery, his vision. He is the reason I [started to] do it. He gave me something I never knew I had in me.”

In a town the size of a postage stamp, but with the largest traditional Catholic parish in the world, Theresa discovered a talent that could prove beneficial to anyone who needs a cake. She’s a small town Cake Boss and loving it. Ω Baker

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A mother of eight shares her candid reflections on discipline

I have now been a parent for over 21 years. No clue how so much time has gone by, but it has. Anyone who has a few children also knows that God makes them all different. What works with your first child will almost never work with the second or third. Throughout the years, we have settled on a parenting style that while being very different from many Photos courtesy of ALEX and CO Photography other families, has worked well for seen the good and the bad. The playing for hours and hours outside us. Our style is this, respect the child. biggest debate among them is the until being called in for dinner. I also rod. You probably know of the rod have the memory of feeling bitter Respect is a very big word. The from your own childhood when even resentment for having been spanked dictionary says it is a feeling of deep the neighbor was allowed to scold out of what sometimes felt like admiration for someone or the child who trampled on their anger. I remember thinking that I something elicited by their abilities, daisies. Anyone’s grandma could tell would never hit my child once I was qualities, or achievement. you to stop what you were doing a parent. that instant back then. The Do we admire our children for their If I mentally study the families we proverbial rod spoken of in the bible abilities, qualities or know, there are ones who spank that or the rod used by your very own achievements? Some may. But too have produced the most amazing parents. In my case, it was a or much of that, and you will end up adults. They love their families and . It is one of the things that as a with a child who believes the planets are responsible, contributing parent, I have gone back and forth align around him. In our family, we members of society. I also know on, not really sure which way is the respect each child for the dignity other families who spank. Their right way. given him by his Creator. God has children seem respectful and created each and every one of His In some ways I look at my own obedient while in front of their children out of love and He respects childhood and recall being spanked caretakers, but take almost delight in us enough to give us free will to often. It may have helped to teach getting away with something when either love Him or not. me some respect toward others or they have the chance. These How does this correlate to raising perhaps instill authority. We children say “yes ma’am” and smile our children? In my circles I have respected our elders, any of them, when they are asked to do friends who are homeschoolers. even if they weren’t directly in something, but it seems they do so They send their children to private or charge of us. It was just the way. We because they must and not because public school, are conservative, always greeted adults and we looked it is the right thing to do. As soon as liberal, religious, atheist, at them in the eyes. We did what we they can “get away with environmentally conscious, material were told and stayed out of the way anything” they do. driven, etc. In these families I have when we were not needed generally 22

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On the flip side of this coin, there are have struggled with the idea that I standing and staring at a wall. The those families who do not spank at have not parented them correctly wall gives them a place to stand all believing that they do not have because we did not spank. I quietly and calm down. Yet it is not the right to do so just because they struggle, like all parents struggle, a fun place to be. All of our children are bigger than the child. They with the idea that something I have have had some time with a wall, believe spanking will somehow done or not done will prevent my some more than others. For some, alienate their child who will no child from reaching his true all that was needed were a few longer love them for the discipline. I potential. words of correction. I have had have known a few of these families children who crumbled just from the But what if the rod is not really what as well. These families have a gentle knowledge they had somehow we think it is? Who uses the rod that way about them and raise children disappointed us. There were also the bible is talking about? I go back who do what has to be done every the children who needed more than to a shepherd - the Good Shepherd day without the threat of physical just words. who steers his flock as we steer our violence. (Can you see the rainbow flock. Then a friend said something One thing I do not do is scream. It and hear the birds chirping?) that made me really does not work. I feel as soon as I And then there are those who have think. Shepherds do not strike the start screaming, I give away my lost all control of their children and flock with the rod. They use it to position as momma. I do not need to have no clue how to get it back if guide the flock to safety or where scream and when things get really they ever had it because their ever it is they need the flock to go. out of control, I whisper. It makes children do not listen. The children everyone stop because they cannot Yes. This is what our parenting style do not respect their parents and do hear me. If screaming worked, you is. As soon as one of our babies can not respect anyone since they have would not have to do it over and understand a few words, we start been taught to do whatever makes over. No momma, you do not need working with them. We teach them them happy. to scream and your house will be all to sit during a meal, to play nice with that much quieter once you stop. Please do not take offense. We are siblings, to pick up the they all different. If your family fits into threw on the floor. Once they are Our greatest advice to people who one of these categories, it’s because talking, we teach them to apologize ask how we get our children to you are a human raising humans when they hurt someone, to stop behave is to expect it. We expect our who have a fallen nature. We are all when we say stop and to come when children to respect us and we give trying to do the best we can. we say come. When they are them respect back. We expect them toddlers we introduce them to to listen to us because that is the way I have heard it many, many times. consequences. Our consequence is that God designed the family. They “Spare the rod and spoil the child”. It usually the wall. I have had little listen to us and we listen to God. The is in the bible. In 21 years of being a ones who have done something they second piece of advice is, be momma, I can remember 3 or 4 knew was wrong. I only discovered consistent. If we say no to Nick who times when I decided that spanking what they did after I found them wants another slice of cake, there is one of my children was necessary. I no amount of whining or pleading that will ever make me change that no to a yes. If I told my daughter that she would not go to that party she was invited to if her room was not clean, no matter how much I may have wanted her to go and have fun, I assure you, she will not go. Life is full of consequences. It just is. We must teach our children that everything in life will have a consequence. The safest place to

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learn about those consequences is at home. If you have fallen into the position of momma doorstep, you can take your authority back. You own it. It is your God given authority. It may not be popular in society these days to impose yourself as the supreme authority in your house because you are the parent, but children need us to guide them. It will not make you the cool mom, but your child does not need any more friends. They need a parent. Consequences last way longer than spankings do. They set a pattern children will remember and follow. I will add that I love my momma and poppa dearly. I wish I could be with them every day but that relationship took years to grow. As a child, I did not share my dreams and worries with my parents. I did not have that Tricia’s children including her new son-in-law. kind of relationship with them. I you have to speak to them of things of greater importance. want my children to come to me An Excerpt from with their thoughts, ideas, struggles Sometimes it will be better to remain and they do. So far, our family has The Absolute silent and take no notice; at other times grown in a nurturing environment a glance will be enough, or a single where we all depend on each other Essentials of the warning, or a particular tone of voice; and share the most important and what use is it then to insist and keep Upbringing of repeating and harping on the same the most mundane of things. Our Children subject, making yourself tiresome and children do what is right because we annoying, when with much less trouble Published 1911 Nihil Obstat: Thomas have earned their hearts, just as we you could secure the desired result? do what is right because God has O’Connell, C.M. earned our hearts. As to the manner of administering The correction which will suffice for one correction, it must always be judicious. child, owing to his docile nature, will not So we will not spare the rod. We will To explain: correction is a remedy, a be enough for another who is of a harder use that rod to gently guide our medicine; consequently, like medicines, and more obstinate nature. Some children in the way they should go it may not be used continually, at all children are like lambs and may be led by until they can walk without us. We hours, and without measure; but with gentleness, while others can only be controlled by severity. You should, will not strike our children with that discretion, in due season, and according as needed – neither more or less. therefore, study the character and rod as our way of discipline, but as disposition of your children so as to be the shepherd keeps his sheep from As a general rule, it must be used rarely, able to vary your methods according to falling over a cliff. There may come a because medicines, if used too their tendencies, since the same day when we may need to spank one frequently, are injurious rather than treatment is not to be meted out to all of them. We will step back and wait helpful. Consequently, if all day long you even for precisely the same offence. deafen your children’s ears with angry for our anger to subside. And we will You must also know how to distinguish do it with love and respect. Ω cries, they will soon be accustomed to the sound of that bell and ere long you between fault and fault; for some faults Tricia Gaitan is a homeschooling mom of 9 may ring it as much as you please. To be are the outcome of levity, while others wonderful children here on earth and 2 in always reprehending is the same as are malicious; and greater severity heaven. She lives on a small farm in Central never to reprehend; while if you pass should be reserved for graver faults, Florida. She blogs at over certain little failings they will be especially for those against morals and www.farmishmomma.com from which this much more ready to listen to you when good conduct. Ω article is a reprint. 24

************************************** relationships ************************************** What is she really Friendship thinking? UNDER FIRE

“Why would she say that? I would never do anything like that,” my friend told me, shock and hurt in her voice and eyes. Her closest friend had insisted she purposely walked around like she was strutting down the runway all the time. “get us,” and then we are horrified when we realize My friend was stunned to learn her best friend they don’t. thought her capable of such artificiality. She agonized Maybe they make an offhand comment indicating over the thought that perhaps they weren’t really they think we’re being fake. Maybe they make an friends at all. “I thought we were friends. Doesn’t she assumption that we broke the inviolable Girl’s Code. know I would never do something like that?” Maybe they think we’re settling for something less My friend learned a hard lesson late in life: No one than we should, even though we wouldn’t. will know you like God knows you. Forgiveness can be a hard pill to swallow when we As social animals, we all have an inclination to rely on feel like there’s a wall thrown up between us and our each other. We tell each other secrets, are bonded closest friend. Few things can damage a friendship by common experiences and culture, ask each other’s more effectively than the knowledge that they don’t advice. We bare our souls, expect close friends will know who we really are. We start questioning our friendships. After all, if anybody should know us, shouldn’t it be our BFF?

We feel our integrity has been called into question, and it cuts to the very heart of our friendship. Why?

We feel betrayed. But we are not alone in this. If anyone can relate to feelings of betrayal, God can, in the person of Our Lord. Accusation after accusation was leveled at Him. Assumptions that He wanted to gain power, misinterpretations of His words.

How much it must have pained Him to be betrayed by His own people, the people who should have known more than anyone who and what He was. As a human who experienced the full spectrum of human

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emotion, it is an impossibility that He was detached for us as individuals. We forget that our friends aren’t from the feeling of being betrayed by His own. endowed with angelic intellects. Despite it all, He loved them and wept over the fate of Jerusalem. Luke 19:44 We forget that each of us, your friends included, can only see life through the narrow lens of individual existence.

Does it make you wonder how many times you might have misunderstood who they are? The number of times you may have made a rash judgment about why someone else was doing something? The old cliché about walking a mile in someone else’s comes to mind.

Moments like these should help us realize that only God knows our heart of hearts, no matter how much soul-baring we do in our relationships. If we start relying on anyone else for the sort of friendship we can only find with God, we open ourselves up to a world of hurt.

If it’s happened to you, when it happens to you, don’t think of it as a personal affront. Realize that God is sending you an invitation for a closer friendship with Him. He’ll never not know your intentions. He’ll never question your integrity. He’ll never betray your trust.

Friendships are wonderful, necessary parts of our But unlike Jesus, who didn’t suffer a fallen human human existence, but they have limitations. The nature, we struggle to understand and forgive. The friendship of God is limitless. Forgive your friends, real problem lies less with our friend’s knowledge expect they will misunderstand who you are at times. about us – or the knowledge we feel they should have And then love them anyway. Ω had – and more with our own expectations of them.

Expecting our friends to never make misjudgments about us isn’t a fair expectation. We aren’t giving them the largesse we should, the recognition that they are human, they aren’t perfect. And the surprising revelation that they are imperfect humans not only results in a blow to our pride, but a blow to that sacred trust we thought was shared.

We lay burdens on our friends that we never should have in the first place. We demand that they be the perfect friend

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slightest bit of pharisaical pride associated with our censure? Do we know and understand all the facts, or are we making a rash judgment? To Say Can we give them the benefit of the doubt that they have justifiable reason for doing something we might think or objectionable, if it is not per se sinful? In as much as it is not sinful, is it any of our business at all to make mention of it, much less forward a correction?

Not to Just because we have the Truth doesn’t mean we are always going to have the only answer as to how that Truth should be put into practice. Other Catholics Say might live their lives in ways that are vastly differing from our own, and yet are entirely acceptable to God.

e’re all trying to be good Catholics. We try to So how do we know if we are jumping the gun or practice custody of the eyes, be careful what shirking a bounden duty? How do we know when we we , what we read, and what we say. are supposed to fraternally correct someone? Below Sometimes we fail. Other times we don’t, W are some guidelines from newadvent.org on fraternal upon which we give ourselves a congratulatory clap on the back… only to realize that while we may have conquered correction. Note that the encyclopedia points out one temptation, we gave into a moment of pride. that all of these should coincide in order to obligate a person to fraternal correction. We all have moments of hypocrisy, of catching ourselves listening to a sermon and thinking about all the people we We should correct if: think the sermon would apply to – anything to escape contemplating how the good father’s words could apply to us.  the delinquency to be corrected or prevented is a grievous one; At other times, we may find ourselves in a position where  there is no good reason to believe that we see something we object to as Catholics, but we aren’t the sinner will adequately provide for inclined to say anything. We don’t want to say anything; himself; after all, it’s not our problem.  there is a well-founded expectation We are trained by modern society to look past, or what is that the admonition will be heeded; mistakenly called “tolerate,” many things that we  there is no one else just as well fitted shouldn’t. But, do we not say anything out of fear of for this work of Christian charity and confrontation or fear of seeming judgmental? Because we figure it is pointless or because we know it is not our place likely to undertake it; to say so? How do we know when we are obliged to correct,  there is no special trouble or even if we would really rather not? disadvantage accruing to the reformer as a result of his zeal. More often, we’ll see something another Catholic is doing, something that we feel a good Catholic shouldn’t do, even if it’s not necessarily breaking the laws of God or Church. Practically, Perhaps we feel that something should be said because that however, individuals without any person should know better. And if they don’t know better, official capacity are seldom isn’t the onus on us to correct them since we noted it? impeachable as having seriously Could we convince ourselves it is, in fact, our obligation to say something? After all, if we really love them, in the spirit transgressed the law in this matter of charity, we should correct them, shouldn’t we? because it is but rarely one finds the coalition of circumstances just Perhaps not. We should make a careful study of our enumerated. intentions in pursuing such a course. Is there even the

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Certainly fraternal correction, when used properly, is an act of mercy – much like an intervention for an alcoholic would be an act of mercy. But if we often find ourselves in the position of wishing to correct this person and that person, perhaps it would be more appropriate to focus on the timber in our own eye before we look for the mote in another’s.

If we’re good Catholics, we are trying to get to heaven day in and day out. We are a constant work in progress and we can’t do anything worthwhile without God’s grace. There are so many ways to commit sins, and we will all fail at some point or another.

As traditional Catholics we may find ourselves tempted to condemn or tempted to turn a blind eye. We may fear that we are over-reacting or that we are not acting enough. Following the guidelines can help take the guess work out of it and is a good way to ensure that our motives are pure, humble, and charitable. Ω

St. Francis De Sales

Introduction to the Devout Life Do you, my child, love every one with the pure love of charity, but have no friendship save with those whose intercourse is good and true, and the purer the bond which unites you so much higher will your friendship be.

If your intercourse is based on science it is praiseworthy, still more if it arises from a participation in goodness, prudence, justice and the like; but if the bond of your mutual liking be charity, devotion and Christian perfection, God knows how very precious a friendship it is!

Precious because it comes from God, because it tends to God, because God is the link that binds you, because it will last forever in Him. Truly it is a blessed thing to love on earth as we hope to love in Heaven, and to begin that friendship here which is to endure for ever there. I am not now speaking of simple charity, a love due to all mankind, but of that spiritual friendship which binds souls together, leading them to share devotions and spiritual interests, so as to have but one mind between them.

Such as these may well cry out, "Behold, how good and joyful a thing it is, brethren, to dwell

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together in unity!" (1) Even so, for the "precious present life to our future hopes, thereby forsaking ointment" of devotion trickles continually from one this mortal world before our death." And S. Augustine heart to the other, so that truly we may say that to says that S. Ambrose loved S. Monica by reason of her such friendship the Lord promises His Blessing and life many virtues, and that she in return loved him as an for evermore. Angel of God.

To my mind all other friendship is but as a shadow What need to affirm so unquestionable a fact! S. with respect to this, its links mere fragile glass Jerome, S. Augustine, S. Gregory, S. Bernard, and all compared to the golden bond of true devotion. Do the most notable servants of God, have had special you form no other friendships. I say "form," because friendships, which in nowise hindered their you have no right to cast aside or neglect the natural perfection. S. Paul, in describing evil men, says that bonds which draw you to relations, connections, they were "without natural affection," (3) i.e. without benefactors or neighbors. friendship. And S. Thomas, in common with other philosophers, acknowledges that friendship is a My rules apply to those you deliberately choose to virtue, and he certainly means individual friendships, make. There are some who will tell you that you because he says that we cannot bestow perfect should avoid all special affection or friendship, as friendship on many persons. likely to engross the heart, distract the mind, and excite jealousy, and what not. But they are confusing So we see that the highest grace does not lie in being things. They have read in the works of saintly and without friendships, but in having none which are not devout writers that individual friendships and special good, holy and true. Ω intimacies are a great hindrance in the religious life, and therefore they suppose it to be the same with all the world, which is not at all the case. How to: Make Amish

Whereas in a well-regulated community every one's Friendship Bread Dough aim is true devotion, there is no need for individual

intercourse, which might exceed due limits;--in the By M.R.Zapp world those who aim at a devout life require to be Hide it well behind your kitchen walls, united one with another by a holy friendship, which Or your nonchalance in friendly calls. excites, stimulates and encourages them in well- Gather together your bowl and your yeast doing. Just as men traversing a plain have no need to (One bowl, but two tablespoons at least) hold one another up, as they have who are amid And flour, and sugar, and water and love slippery mountain paths, so religious do not need the (Your reserve, from your secret stash, above). stay of individual friendships; but those who are living Mix them together with a wooden spoon, slow Beat it, pound it, and then form a dough; in the world require such for strength and comfort Oil your bowl, like an Oil-Well lover; amid the difficulties which beset them. Flip your dough in and then, to cover. Atop the refrigerator (it’s warm) let it rise In the world all have not one aim, one mind, and And check it once in a while for size. therefore we must take to us congenial friends, nor is Drink to her health with a vintner’s brew there any undue partiality in such attachments, which And then drink another one, just for you. are but as the separation of good from evil, the sheep The dough is high, so punch it down good from the goats, the bee from the drone--a necessary Just use your hand, not the spoon made of wood Divide it in half, set one half aside, separation. To make now or later, you’ll be well supplied. The other you place in a pretty glass bowl No one can deny that our Dear Lord loved S. John, And cover it with your best tea towel; Lazarus, Martha, Magdalene, with a specially tender March (or drive) to your best friend’s; friendship, since we are told so in Holy Scripture; and Rehearse your lines that friendship extends; we know that S. Paul dearly loved S. Mark, S. Knock on the door and wait for her smile. Petronilla, as S. Paul Timothy and Thecla. (2) S. She opens, she hears, (Was it all worth the while?) But she’s as much of a friend as a friend ever could be Gregory Nazianzen boasts continually of his Into the kitchen you follow her (while she friendship with the great S. Basil, of which he says: "It Smiles by turns, and then laughs in fits) seemed as though with two bodies we had but one Into the kitchen, where on her counter top sits soul, and if we may not believe those who say that all A bowl of Amish Friendship Bread dough. things are in all else, at least one must affirm that we were two in one, and one in two --the only object that both had being to grow in holiness, and to mould our 29

LOVE IT V HATE IT “Hats in church “Women who are awesome! wear hats are Would love it if just trying to they came be fashionistas. back in style.” Wear a !”

[hats in church] I love that babies I love hats. Kate Middleton is bringing “It is impossible YOU cannot pull my off them back into fashion! I want a pill box and it takes care of hat for an upcoming wedding but where for a woman to SAID: some really bad hair to find one? - Maggie FL mornings. I do see appear chic where they can be a bit distracting and I say it depends on the hat and the hat if you sit behind a big hat, you are wearer. If they are trying to show off without a hat.” seeing nothing but that hat! - Tricia KY then absolutely they should wear a veil. Emily Post 1939 - Regina WI As a mother of 9 girls… I say wear whatever covers your head! I don’t mind them at all. There are so disappear at our house and a hat is many potential distractions in any better than nothing! - Bonnie MN community, people should be able to I would rather see a pretty hat than a ignore a modest hat as any other tiny non-existent veil. – Noelle VA accessory or article of clothing. This, of Join in the Love it V. Hate course, depends on the hat! – Angel GA When in Rome do as the Romans. If no it fun in the Fall Issue: one else is wearing a hat, then you are I don't think it matters as long as your trying to show off - or are you trying to head is covered out of respect for the Giving a Clue be modest? Because if no one else has Blessed Sacrament. - Mary, KS a hat on, you will definitely stand out. You notice someone’s bra strap Personally, I love them, but in church Did you know? slipped out, the edge of their slip is not so much. It makes it hard to focus showing, or their zipper is down. on Mass, and sometimes hard to see The phrase “Mad as a around, if the hat in front of you is too Hatter” comes from Do you give them a clue, or just big. – Jamie TX hope they figure it out soon? madness experienced by I love hats, but have actually only worn Email a 2-3 sentence response to one of the big fancy hats for one Easter hatters from prolonged and it kept getting in the way of holding [email protected] a baby!!! Wish I had worn them more exposure to mercury while Subject: Giving a clue back in the day! - Melanie NY processing felt. mily’s E Etiquette

Essentials

Dear Miz Emily, My husband and I were married almost seven months ago. I always intended to send out thank Here are some cases in point for different occasions to help those who think all hope has been lost. (Because it’s true, we get too you cards – I even have a list made up – but now embarrassed and frozen to act if we think we’ve waited too long. it’s horrifically late. Should I just let sleeping dogs NO need to fret, just take action.) lie and hope they forget and forgive? Or should I 1. If you received a housewarming gift, sending a ‘thank you’ is send the cards out? in order in the form of a phone call, email, or notecard. On a Thanks, side note, if you are the gift-giver, remember, these people Feeling Awkward in Texas have just moved in and are struggling for an iota of normalcy. Cut them a little slack, they’re fried. Even if they forget to Dear Awkward, thank you, know that your gift was TRULY appreciated and thoughtful! The same applies for couples who just had a A “THANK YOU” goes a long way! And NO, it’s never too late to baby, especially if the shower was just days before or after send someone a letter, note, or email to express your gratitude for the birth. All she’s thinking about is getting sleep and caring a favor, gift or time shared. for her newborn! Regardless of whether someone gives us something with strings attached or gives it to us gratis, we still should give thanks. 2. After birthday parties, anniversary parties, or parties where you were the hostess or person of honor a ‘Thank You’ is It is proper and right to be gracious for any act of kindness done toward you or someone you know. Writing a thank you may seem owed in the form of a note. passé, but on the on the contrary, it is always appreciated, even in the simplest form. 3. For wedding gifts send out a ‘Thank You’ as soon as possible. Most people expect that it will be awhile before you get around to writing them, but you wouldn’t want to wait longer than six months. Keep in mind you want to send it out before you have to send out that ‘Baby Shower’ invite!

4. During a bridal shower, baby shower, etc. keep track of who sent which gifts so you’ll be able to personalize your ‘Thank You’ cards. People expect form letters from banks and politicians, not gift recipients!

5. After a play date or similar informal group event for your children, a ‘Thank You’ text is a nice gesture.

Any form of gratitude is better than no gratitude at all! So, yes, that hug and sincere word of thanks when you see someone who did something for you will be truly appreciated and welcomed, no matter how late.

Graciousness and being grateful will never go out of style, so let’s find some cute cards and start thanking everyone who deserves our gratitude.

Thank you for your time. Your comments and suggestions are always welcome! Please address inquiries to: “Dear Miz Emily.”

Sincerely, Miz Emily

30 Editors Cover Photo Contest M.R. Zapp M. Vanek A.S.  How to enter: Send us your trad women photo entry via email to [email protected] SUBJECT: Winter Cover Photo Contest Contributors:  How to win: Tricia Gaitan at Farmish Momma.com A winner will be chosen after careful Bridget Thomas deliberation. There is no theme other than Siobhan Ni Mhaoildhia WINTER, so anything light, whimsical, and Anna Alepin wintry will work as an entry.  Prizes: The winning entry will be announced on Altar and Hearth’s website and FB page on Sponsors the launch of the Fall 2014 issue. Winner will receive a hard copy of the Fall 2014 issue Bernadette Kane of Altar and Hearth Magazine. Wendy Haught Heather Fuller  Terms and Conditions: Lynn Jess All entrants must own exclusive rights to the Mary Ellen Golcheski photo they enter and are not allowed to use Victoria Kiernan the property of another individual as an entry. Entrants will reserve their rights to Photo Accreditation: any photos, but we may ask to use them in future issues. If it is discovered that an Alex and Co. Photography entrant broke any of the rules, their entry Pg. Flowers © Jinyoung Lee | Dreamstime Stock Photos will be removed. Pg. Walnuts © Anne Gagliardi | Dreamstime Stock Photos Pg. Lemon © Danhughes | Dreamstime Stock Photos

fiction and poetry contest Our gratitude Fall 2014  Free entry! goes out to our many supporters. The response to the  Check out Altar and Hearth’s formation of this magazine has been overwhelming. We Contests page for info on how to hope to see your commentary, photos, articles and enter and submission guidelines letters to the editor. We would love to hear your voice www.altarandhearthmagazine.com about what this magazine should be like or what you  Prize: $15 for short fiction, $5 would like to see in it. poetry entry

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