Friday · September 29, 2006 The Lawrentian Vol. CXXIV, No. 3 Lawrence University's student newspaper since 1884 www.Lawrentian.com Beck delivers Matriculation Convocation Downer changes Inside Beth McHenry 2005-06 academic year. Many of these posed a 12-minute piece to accom- News Editor programs combined the sciences and pany a silent film from the 1920s, continue this year the arts. “The Black Pirate.” Lawrence’s convocation series for Emily Passey Assistant Professor of Biology Werfelman also conducted a group 2006-07 kicked off on Thursday with Staff Writer Features Jodi Sedlock and students traveled to of 52 Lawrence students to record the President Jill Beck’s third matricula- the Philippines to study bats. Students piece, an excerpt of which concluded tion convocation. also created posters to educate and Beck’s presentation. Last year, Downer Commons Beck’s address, “Liberal inform locals, particularly farmers, Before his introduction of Beck’s announced that changes had been Philosophy, Free Discussion, and about their local ecology. address, Kern, chair of the Committee made. Students saw a physically Individualized Learning at Lawrence,” Beck also cited the work of biol- on Public Occasions, announced the improved Downer with new paint and presented the tenets of liberal educa- ogy students in two other programs. rest of the year’s convocation speak- artwork, making the entire experience tion that Beck has fostered for the Students of Associate Professor ers. a little nicer, and also a few new menu past two years, this time through of Biology Bart DeStasio conducted In November, neuroscientist and items including ethnically diverse the ideas of liberal philosopher John field sampling in lakes and rivers author Robert Sapolsky will speak foods. Stuart Mill. of Wisconsin. Associate Professor of in the year’s second convocation. In an effort to make Downer more The program began with musi- Biology Beth DeStasio headed a cancer Sapolsky is a professor of biology and student-friendly, new signs designated cal selections featuring the Lawrence research tutorial in which students neurology and neurological sciences foods as vegan or vegetarian. Brass and the Welcome Week Choir. gathered and presented information at Stanford University. He is also a Despite these changes, senior Adam Berey shows us After Wallace Stevens’ “The Poems about the molecular basis of cancer. research associate for the Institute Corin Howland feels that the quality of Our Climate,” read by Professor Russia's seemy underbelly. Beck’s final example was the of Primate Research at the National provided at the main eatery on cam- Howard Niblock, Associate Professor >> see page 2 efforts of former student David Museum of Kenya. pus has not improved. Edmund Kern introduced President Werfelman. With the help of faculty Each year, his work takes him to Howland has compiled his own list Beck. mentors Joanne Metcalf, Fred Sturm of three years’ worth of complaints, Beck’s main goal was to outline and David Becker, Werfelman com- including isolated incidents such as A&E the necessity of free discussion in See Convocation on page 4 discovering an insect and a large piece education. Beck pointed out that the of plastic in his food to more “epi- forms of individualized learning that demic” problems such as food tasting Lawrence offers, such as small tutori- of cleaning solvents and finding rancid als, encourage this free discussion. milk in the milk machines. To further express this position, Howland’s complaints also encom- Beck referred to the educational phi- pass some vegetarian issues. Howland losophies of John Stuart Mill. Mill notes that often, the soup labeled veg- believed that only free discussion etarian is actually made using chicken can foster true education, and only broth. Upon asking staff, Howland has through discussion can people know if discovered that they readily admit their opinions are fallible and explore this, not seeming to see the misnomer. their own claims to truth. Also, he once took a burger that was Discussing our own opinions with labeled as vegetarian only to discover WLFM rocks the coffee- those who hold different viewpoints it was actually meat. can help us learn more about each Though many of Howland’s con- house! position and make an informed deci- cerns stem from his vegetarianism, >> see page 6 sion. Several minds are required to Howland says that he is most con- find the real truth. cerned with “food purity and nutri- Beck finished her address by Photo by Erin Ober tion,” feeling that there may even be Sports highlighting several individualized President Jill Beck addresses students and faculty at her third Matriculation Convocation Thursday in the learning programs from Lawrence’s Chapel. See Downer on page 4 What are we eating? Winged Victory The truth about GM foods Sufjan Stevens live at the Pabst Katie Buchanan would eat any GM foods served at Paul Karner uniform fitted with a colorful set of for The Lawrentian Downer, Sundt questioned, “What are Arts & Entertainment Editor costume butterfly wings. the modifications? What are they put- The subject of birds was a con- Since genetically modified crops ting in the food? I’d like to know “We’re still getting used to hav- sistent theme throughout the eve- were first introduced for commercial what’s in it before I eat it.” ing wings,” Sufjan Stevens uttered ning. The highlight perhaps was a production in 1996, genetically altered Has Downer ever served any GM into the mike as he carefully maneu- performance of “Majesty’s Songbird,” Women's Soccer kicks foods have generated everything from foods? “I’m sure we do,” said Patrick vered from his piano to his guitar a new song with some of Stevens’ praise for their benefits to deep con- some booty! Niles, Director of Dining Services. with a four-foot set of eagle wings richest orchestrations to date, which cern about accompanying environ- “There’s no way of knowing because attached to his back. “Man wasn’t he has referred to as a sort of theme >> see page 8 mental problems. Some of the main the FDA doesn’t regulate GM foods.” supposed to have wings,” he added. song for his current lineup. GM crops in the United States include When asked what he thought Backed by a 17-piece band The show also included a per- soybeans, cotton and corn. about GM foods, Niles remarked, “The including strings, horns, piano, formance of “The Lord God Bird,” Major praise has been given to jury’s still out; GM crops are too new to guitars, drums and a prominently a song about the rediscovery of the Weather GM foods because of the research know much about. Some good things placed celeste, Stevens performed ivory-billed woodpecker in Brinkley, and development of allergen-free soy- could come out of it, but we don’t to a remarkably attentive sold-out Arkansas. The song was commis- beans, modified mice that can produce know what it would do to humans with crowd Monday at the Pabst Theater sioned by two independent radio pro- fish oils, hypoallergenic cats, and huge specific allergies.” in Milwaukee. ducers as a way to witness the artists’ boosts in crop yield. Furthermore, Niles believes there Majesty Bird and the Chinese writing process and later debuted on At the same time, issues have could be problems altering plants. Butterfly Brigade--the moniker by NPR’s “All Things Considered” in been raised about GM crops having a “Because we’ve altered the plant so which Stevens introduced the band- worse effect on farmland wildlife than much, we might not be able to grow -were quite a sight to see: Each conventional crops, crops engineered the genetically original plant ever musician donned a Boy Scout-esque See Sufjan Stevens on page 7 to produce industrial chemicals, drugs again.” cross-pollinating with and contaminat- Ben Glover, a member of Student ing crops grown as food, and a general War Against Hunger and Poverty, Showers Saturday lack of interest in researching the short believes there’s a promising future for Mostly sunny Sunday and long-term effects of GM foods as a GM foods. “It’s very common in the significant part of the human diet. U.S. and other developed countries,” Saturday On the Lawrence campus, GM said the junior. “Modifications pro- High 57 crops inspire many different opin- duce excess crops so there’s enough ions. Considering the developments Low 41 food for a large number of people.” made to corn so that it could grow in Glover says he feels okay about Wind: W at 9 mph extremely adverse climates, Kendra giving GM foods to the hungry, but Sundt believes, “There’s a reason why Sunday “there’s a trade off--using genetic tech- [corn] can’t grow in certain places. I’m nology will produce more food, but High 61 against moving plants that belong in this might lead to new environmental Low 50 a certain climate to a new climate,” problems.” said the junior. “It could have a ton Wind: WSW at 8 mph For more information about GM of environmental effects that could be crops, visit NewScientist.com, the Pew detrimental.” Photo by Paul Karner Source: weather.com Initiative on Food and Biotechnology, Sufjan Stevens dons wings for his preformance at the Pabst. When asked about whether she or truthout.org. The Lawrentian

2 Features Friday, September 29, 2006 Steppes Away: A Lawrentian's Siberia Changes for on-campus Amid Westernization, old opportunism still rules work and “relaxation” houses in 2006-2007 Adam Berey Their driving is even more danger- “And I want you, get it?” Staff Writer ous than certified drivers, and they That went on until we reached Nora G. Hertel year after year. often cram in as many fares as her building--his propositions, her Staff Writer The Co-op made their home in This term, I’ll be passing on bits they can. calm refusals. the Hulbert House until this year, from life in Irkutsk, Russia, where And that’s just the type the One gets the sense from this, when plans for the new student Housing is an integral aspect I’m spending the fall. hostel sent to meet me at the air- and from the occasional black com- center moved them across campus. of student life at Lawrence. As a We’ll get there next week. For port. Even at two in the morning, edy in which the hero woos a girl by Senior Clare Raccuglia, a Co-op residential college, students are now, I’ll start you off in Moscow, the driver stopped his breaking- raping her, that hassling a woman member, commented, “Everyone expected to live on campus with the introduction to Russia for most down station wagon twice to pick for sex is about as casual here as liked the character of the old few exceptions such as a domestic Americans (including this one). up extra passengers. He refused the asking her for a light or directions Hulbert House.” first, whose destination was out of to the post office. partnership--including marriage--or However, she admitted that Co- a dependent child. I got my first glimpse of Slavic our way. That of course isn’t quite true; op’s new house at 122 N. Union has To accommodate the majority chaos the moment I arrived in The second, a girl in her it’s just that you have to seize its perks. “It’s nice not to have ani- of students fixed on campus, resi- Moscow. 20s, apparently didn’t notice me whatever chances you get, be it mals in the walls, at least so far.” dence life expands beyond dormi- My suitcase, with all my clothes when she got in the front seat. I for a few extra bills or some other Another big change in group tories. Theme and formal group save one change, did not follow me watched the driver, a middle-aged reward. housing occurred when the Yuais residences add to Lawrence’s vari- to Russia’s capital, nor did it ever. Azerbaijani, look her over as he When the girl got out, the driver surrendered their house. This ous housing options and display In fact I didn’t see it for a week, asked her if she’d like to “relax” looked back at me and shrugged, change made room for GLOW to the interests of the campus com- until after I had left for Siberia and with him at her place. saying, “She’s Russian.” Then he have a house. Gus Christensen, an munity. the bag had spent some dusty time “No, it’s late. I don’t want to started in on me, asking me if I active member of both the Yuais Each year housing selection in an Aeroflot warehouse, waiting relax. I want to sleep.” needed to exchange for rubles. and GLOW, is optimistic about the committees allocate houses desig- for me to call enough times to get “Sleep? Sleep with me.” “Not now,” I said quickly. change for both groups. nated for student groups. Formal something done. “No, I don’t want to. I want to “Already got some.” Regarding the Yuais, Gus said, group housing refers to student It’s understood in this country sleep alone.” “Without a house, I think we will be organizations that request a house that you can’t count on systems to more conscious of who we are and to support and expand their mis- work according to plan, and that what we do, instead of passively sion, i.e. fraternities or the Outdoor you shouldn’t lose a single oppor- letting a smelly house mold our Recreation Club. tunity to press your problems on image.” Themed houses do not require the people who gave them to you. He can already see the benefits an established organization but After a few days of sweating of the GLOW house, as it is “a consist of a group of students around Moscow on two sets of refuge where people know their sharing a common interest. Theme clothes, I was in the right state of opinions will be respected.” houses are selected by an all-stu- mind to start trying out that tactic. Omitting Hulbert House from dent committee and are only guar- During the Soviet years, eco- the list of available group houses anteed one year of residency. nomic scarcity meant that an stiffened the competition this year. Formal group houses are opportunistic mindset was appro- Despite a move, Co-op secured their allowed a three-year contract priate even when things weren’t so place, as did the Computer Science because they have “more group bad, just so long as you could get house. SMEE was unable to hold stability and longer-term goals and something extra out of it. onto 217 North Union St, an evic- status,” explained Amy Uecke, the But now capitalism has entered tion that has caused minor waves. Associate Dean of Students for Russian life, and city dwellers are Former SMEE house resident Residence Life. looking for ways to show off their Paul Karner expressed some frus- Last year, theme and formal prosperity--I saw more than a few tration that the housing allocation houses went to Lawrence’s five schoolboys walking around in dou- process left no room for appeals. He fraternities in the Quad and Phi ble-breasted pinstripe suits, playing noted that members of other orga- Mu Alpha Sinfonia, as well as the Capone on their parents’ rubles. nizations sympathized with SMEE’s Yuais, ORC, Co-op, Greenfire, Swing But having more doesn’t mean loss. In fact, Gus Christensen con- Dancing and Computer Science trying less, and opportunism is as fessed, “I still feel guilty for living groups. Computer Science remains much a part of the culture as ever. in the old SMEE house.” as the only themed house; all the An apt example of that per- Next year, many houses will others are formal group houses sistent Russian trait is the ama- apply to retain their place on cam- based on student organizations. teur taxi driver. The Russian word, pus while continuing to make a Every year brings changes in “chastnik,” could be literally trans- place for students interested in the housing layout, but some hous- lated as “privateer,” which is prob- their mission or theme. Every house es seem to be fixtures. Amy Uecke ably a better description. is expected to be open to students explained that organizations that Russian chastniks usually drive throughout the Lawrence commu- reapply can draw on the good expe- as a second, third, or even fourth nity and thereby encouraging unity riences in and rapport with a spe- job. They carry no permit and drive through specialized housing, not Photo courtesy of Adam Berey cific house. For this reason many their own, normal-looking cars. exclusion. Karl Marx is eclipsed by a new kind of red during City Day festivities at Moscow’s Revolution Square. fraternities maintain their house International Insights: An Introduction to Bolivia Gaby Szteinberg and Chile. Today, we are lucky that American countries, there are still go out a lot, and depending where where you can explore the jungle, For The Lawrentian many of the things that the Incas many pure natives from the three you are you can find different hike around the mountains, have a did are still preserved. major cultural groups: Aymaras, activities to do at night. In La good time with friends while drink- For example, if you go to Quechuas and Guarayos. Paz, because there are many hills ing “Paceña”-beer-or even learn Senior Gaby Szteinberg is an Samaipata, which means “resting There are many different tribes around the city, you can drive up to about the indigenous cultures that international student from Bolivia. place in the altitude” and is located in Bolivia, but there are three gen- a “mirador” that overlooks the city lived in South America. This is the first of a series of articles about two hours away from Santa eral groups of people. There are and you can drink wine with your It is a country that would fit written by Lawrence internation- Cruz de la Sierra, you can visit “el the “collas,” people from the high- friends and enjoy a chill night. anyone’s desires. Come and visit! al students about their respective Fuerte,” the Fort, where you can see lands; the “cambas,” people from In Santa Cruz, my hometown, home countries. the place where Incas lived on the the lowlands; and the “chapacos,” there is a very busy altitude. people from the valley. nightlife at the bars It has been said that you can There are some remains of the The Collas are from La Paz, and clubs. Women compare Bolivia to the state of constructions where they used to Potosi, Oruro, Chuquisaca and and men dress up Texas because they have the same live. You can also see some lad- Cochabamba. They have darker very nice to go shape. Bolivia is a landlocked coun- der-like structures on the hills that skin and look very much like the dancing and see try in the heart of South America were used for plantations, which Incas used to be; the Cambas are people. Even though with an area of more than one mil- ensured that water would reach from Santa Cruz and Trinidad, it is a city of about lion square kilometers, divided into every crop when irrigated from the have lighter skin color and are the one million people, nine unique departments, and con- top of the hill. famous mestizos. The final group, everyone from the taining about eight million people. The Spaniards also left a big the Chapacos, are from Tarija and same social class Bolivia is said to be one of legacy since they established them- are very similar to the Cambas. knows each other. the poorest countries in South selves during the Colonial times; The people from these groups Everywhere you go, America. And this is true in the this is especially seen in the archi- have had problems with each other at any time, you economic aspect, but not at all tecture. Sucre, the constitutional for many generations. They make will see a familiar culturally. Many indigenous tribes capital, is famous for having beau- fun of each other for what they look face and that makes have passed by Bolivia. tiful buildings that date back to the like, how they talk and how they Santa Cruz a very One example is the Incas, who 18th century and earlier. behave. However, their differences friendly place to settled in the highlands. They estab- The Spaniards and the indig- vanish when Bolivia has to play live. lished a big part of their empire in enous natives intermingled, leav- soccer against another country. At Despite its Bolivia and the surrounding areas, ing Bolivia with a lot of mestizos. least they agree in something! small size, Bolivia Photo courtesy of Beth McHenry Gaby Szteinberg chews coca with miners in Potosi, Bolivia. such as northern Argentina, Peru However, in contrast to other South Bolivia is a fun place. People is a diverse country The Lawrentian

Friday, september 29, 2006 Features 3 What do you DO all day? Margo Bertram spills the beans in Sage April West ed Illinois Wesleyan in Bloomington, To Margo, Lawrence is Staff Writer Illinois and received her bachelor’s a small, tight, family-like degree in history. Illinois Wesleyan community and “whether or Sage RHD Margo Bertram grew is very similar to Lawrence in that not it’s a good thing, every- up in the small town of Princeton, it is a small liberal arts school; one seems to know every- Illinois and has spent the majority however, it does have a somewhat one else’s business. But then of her life in central Illinois. One larger student population of about again, I think Facebook has of her previous jobs was as high 2,200. She likes Appleton because it something to do with that.” school government and world his- reminds her of Bloomington. When asked about her tory teacher. Aside from her daily duties funniest experience on cam- of being the Sage RHD, Margo’s pus thus far, she smirks and collateral position on campus is speaks of a night walking the Health and Wellness Program from Hiett towards the Sage Coordinator. This entails working area behind a group of girls hand in hand with the Counseling that had been having a “fun Center and acting as a go-between night.” Once the group of for students. them got to the Union, one of She works with the Counseling the girls “apparently decided Center to create programs address- she couldn’t hold it anymore ing balance issues pertaining to and went pee in the bush- students’ lives including such top- es outside the Union with ics as sleep, stress and depression. everyone watching. None of Mental Health Week is a program her friends seemed to think she has been working on which will anything was wrong, but I be coming soon. quickly got away. Luckily I As to Lawrence, she really likes didn’t know any of them, She says teaching “was pretty the vibe on campus. Margo said, so it hasn’t been awkward much funny every day--you have “I identify more with the students since.” to have a sense of humor doing here than at other schools I’ve been Above all, Margo loves that job.” Another of her jobs was at. I identify with the driven men- her job as Sage RHD. She being a janitor for her previous tality, but students here also don’t remarked, “My staff is amaz- high school during summers home have blinders on. They know about ing. I love them all, and I from college. “I’ve spent a whole world issues and aren’t afraid to love working for Amy Uecke. lot of time scraping gum,” Margo talk about them. I have already been She’s a great boss. This is remarks. engaged in several drop-of-the-hat one of the best employment Photo by Kristina Knockleby Margo Bertram enjoys a sunny afternoon outside of Sage Hall, where she is the new RHD. Before Lawrence, Margo attend- discussions about world issues.” opportunities that I’ve had.” BOS starts year Featured Athletes: Susan Klumpner and Hanah McCarthy with Diversity Susan Klumpner (8-3), who currently holds the Vikings’ No. 1 spot, was named the conference’s player Center party of the week two weeks ago. Teammate Hanah McCarthy (7-4) was awarded the same honor the following week for her performances at the No. 2 spot. Meghan McCallum The two join forces at Lawrence’s No.1 doubles spot, where they have a 5-3 record. Associate Sports Features Editor Editor Phil Roy had a short conversation with the two ladies and addressed some tough and pertinent tennis issues. Tomorrow marks the year’s kick- off party of the Black Organization Phil: Soccer players slide tackle, basketball players throw elbows in the paint, and volleyball players of Students. The party will take place do cheerleading routines in between points. What do you do to intimidate or emotionally or physically in the Diversity Center at 9:30 p.m. injure opponents? “We usually do this every year to invite the new members and the Susan: Fist pumps, knee slaps and an occasional, “C’mon Sue!” The last one usually gets them. whole campus to come celebrate the Hanah: I definitely use my height as an intimidation factor when I walk on the court. Also, in the middle beginning of BOS’s year,” said BOS of the match, a good old “COME ON!” screamed after a point is always a great release. vice president Taeya Abdel-Majeed. The party will include food, a P: Agassi sported the denim shorts, Serena the leather boots, and Coach Anderson the fluorescent yel- talent show, and a DJ, Abdel-Majeed low T-shirt. Tennis and fashion seem to be quite closely interlinked. As insiders, do you have any idea told The Lawrentian. why? Abdel-Majeed said that BOS “is trying as much as possible to make Susan: The denim shorts, the leather boots and the fluorescent shirt were all meant to be worn togeth- the campus more enlightened on cul- er. tural issues.” She added that “BOS is Hanah: About Coach’s fluorescent shirt ... I have a feeling this isn’t going to rock the up-and-coming not just for black students--anybody tennis world. Nothing personal, Coach. and everybody should come.” “In the past BOS has brought P: Some have suggested that the tennis courts be replaced by a four-story parking lot. Any comments? so many good things to the table, Susan and Hanah: That’s not nice. like cultural expression, and this year we’re trying to take the next P: So you’re not for it. Anyway, which professor would you challenge to a tennis match? And who would step. We’re going to have things like win? panels discussing topics which affect us all.” Susan: I would challenge Professor Glick simply because I hear his foosball game is similar to his tennis “We’re bringing some good game, in that he loses. speakers on campus [this year],” Hanah: Well, Coach Tharp and DePagter challenge me to tennis every time I see them, but from previous Abdel-Majeed said. “We want to dis- experience last year when my roommate/partner Tara and I played them, we know who will win. Come cuss [these issues]; we want to make on, they might be good at basketball but we know how to get it done on the courts. the campus aware of them.” Abdel-Majeed pointed out that Photos courtesy of Lawrence.edu the BOS officers are “working really hard to make sure that BOS is reach- ing the goals that it has set for the Clip ‘n Carry year.” One of these goals, she said, is to “include the entire campus in Sept. 29 – Oct. 6 moving forward towards diversity.” Fri., 8:00 p.m. Actors from the London Stage present: "Hamlet." Stansbury. Sage Residents- Fri., 8:00 p.m. GLOW movie series: "Mysterious Skin." Wriston. Sun., 3:00 p.m. Faculty recital: Howard Niblock, oboe. Harper. Sorry, it was my Sun., 8:00 p.m. Soundboard. Coffeehouse. wireless router that messed up your inter- Mon., 10:00 p.m. Jazz Open Jam Session. Coffeehouse. net connections. I've Wed., 9:00 p.m. ¡Viva! Presents: Locos Por Juana. Riverview. learned my lesson. Thur., 8:00 p.m. Faculty/guest recital: Arcos Trio. Harper. -Meghan The Lawrentian

4 opinions & Editorials Friday, september 29, 2006 Guest Editorial Letter to the Editor Praise for President Beck Response to increased security in small houses President Jill Beck deserves praise community. Joe Pfender directly with a real problem. The only way to gain students’ respect for the best presidential convocation Particularly great was the empha- for The Lawrentian The reason small houses seem and trust is to show them the same I have heard in my time here at sis of the talk on free discussion, vig- to be a friction point is a matter respect and trust. Unlike most of the Lawrence. Not only was it mostly right orous debate and most important of of bureaucratic language. Treating a world, idealism isn’t dead in us yet-it’ll on in terms of content and message, all the crucial role of reason in deter- This year, LU security has been small house of 11 people exactly the work, you just have to be nice to us. but it was a breath mining and evaluat- patrolling more often and more strict- same in campus policy as a 171-per- Community is a goal to which of fresh air in that it ing one’s own views ly, particularly in the small houses on son dorm is ludicrous when it comes everyone at Lawrence strives. It’s one actually highlighted and positions. campus. This includes formal group to practice. When it’s only words, it of our top selling points as a small the achievements of In the current and theme houses as well as gen- makes perfect sense to treat the living residential liberal arts university- students and faculty intellectual vacuum eral lottery. Before diving into my room and kitchen of a small house like everyone knows everyone, or could if engaged in intellec- of multiculturalism, own views on this issue, I think it is a dorm lounge or kitchen. they wanted to. tually rigorous and moral relativism and important to be clear on why this topic In reality, though, there is a qual- Rules and regulations have their productive activity. political correctness, of discussion has come up. ity of community that can be achieved place, but to a large degree those This is particu- President Beck illu- There is a general feeling among in a small house setting precisely technicalities are trumped by personal larly noteworthy in minated, if even for students living in small houses that because of the differences, and that interactions, by real human contact. contrast to many just a short while, things have changed, and changed quality is encroached upon when secu- This is especially true of small houses, other convocations (long before what ought to be the true purpose of enough that the situation warrants rity walks curtly through a kitchen where it is not hard to know at least President Beck’s arrival and since) the liberal arts education; the cease- a place in the student newspaper. where a few residents are talking and the face of everyone living there. The which seem to be a variation on an less and valiant pursuit of truth. The change did not initiate from the cooking dinner. house living environment demands admonishment for not giving up students; rather, the changes, and all One root problem that jumps to more of the students in terms of social enough of ones time to others in the - Scott Sandersfeld the reactions to them, have occurred my mind is a textbook-like execution and personal responsibility, and it is as effects of various decisions on the of the job of security officer. Following only fair--not to mention logical and part of administrators. This, therefore, the protocol to the last letter is a rea- in security’s best interest--to capitalize is a reflection; it is primarily a reactive sonable way to expect someone who on that resource. We're still looking for rather than proactive discussion. hasn’t had extensive experience with a The best way to use a human While security certainly is break- given situation or job to act. However, resource such as this is to go about columnists! ing up parties and pouring out drinks while reasonable, it is not sustainable it in a human way. Maintaining an more regularly than they have done when considering the potential that absolute and inflexible position is no If you are interested in writing a weekly column in the past, what is far more intrusive students have for helping security to way to go about personal interaction, is the constant intimidating presence. perform their job. and it is no way to get others to help for The Lawrentian expressing your views on life at Moreover, it is a presence intimidat- The correct attitude for enforcers you. While perhaps a bit trite, learn- Lawrence, e-mail us at [email protected] with ing to no immediate purpose, as I of policy to take toward students is ing to work with people rather than your ideas. Please use "interested columnist" as the e- assume the goal of such a presence is not an adversarial one. Suspicion only against them is the only way to get to prevent certain kinds of behavior breeds hostility and more suspicion. real results. mail subject and be prepared to send a sample column by means of fear rather than to deal for consideration.

Wanted: students,” says Niles. He notes that in Downer today’s society, where child obesity Passionate and Opinionated Writers continued from page 1 and poor eating habits run rampant, proving nutrition is a responsibility If you're politically active, interested in current events, and want to say what you think, possible health risks involved. for the university. Two years ago, Howland attempt- This past summer, Dining consider writing for Point-Counterpoint. This is a weekly forum for writers to debate a ed a petition to make the meal plan Services acquired an inventory and current, controversial issue either in the news or related to life at Lawrence. voluntary. In this way, students may menu management system that will choose if and when to go to Downer. eventually allow them to provide Howland believes that many students the nutritional information online for Next week's topic is the political movement to introduce standardized testing at univer- would still remain on the meal plan every menu item. sities. If you'd like to write on this, e-mail [email protected] with the subject because of the convenience. As for cooking with butter, Niles heading "Point-Counterpoint." At the time, Howland met with responds that Dining Services is dis- then-Director of Dining Services Lynn cussing this issue at length and plan- Hagee. He felt that her response to ning on doing all they can to provide proposed changes was, “Don’t even options. In mass food production, try.” butter is typically used as a holding Howland also said that students ingredient, which also enhances taste. have met with chef Robert Wall to Niles realizes that it is unhealthy and speak about the way that most veg- off-limits to vegans so is attempting etable dishes were cooked in butter, to break away from this traditional making them unavailable to vegan mode of thinking. students. Wall was reluctant to aban- The labeling of vegan and veg- don the long tradition of using butter etarian items is also an issue that when cooking vegetables. Niles readily acknowledges. “We Director of Dining Services aren’t doing a very good job with Patrick Niles, beginning his second that right now,” he says. He says, year at Lawrence, echoes every con- however, that is it is a problem that cern of Howland’s. Niles speaks pas- is currently being addressed. sionately of the changes in Dining Niles believes that the idea of a Services and emphasizes that there voluntary meal plan is interesting are a multitude yet to be made. and is something that Dining Services Niles says that he is aware of has talked about in the past. They student needs. “This year we made have also toyed with the idea of a la

Photo by Christie McCowen a concerted effort” towards change carte service, mostly because of food Lawrence students (from left to right) Elane Blum, Dorothy Wickens and James Duncan-Welke stopped on Saturday to admire the rainbow forming over the based on last year’s student respons- waste issues. Niles sees both posi- campus bubble after a rainy day. es, he says. Vegetarian options were tives and negatives associated with added in the A line as well as at an a la carte option, but hasn’t ruled In April, theater producer and will feature Pulitzer Prize-winning Lucy’s. “I think we’re doing what we out bringing the option to Downer. Convocation former Lawrence student Theodore journalist Susan Faludi. Faludi’s work feel is right to accommodate these Barely a week into a new term, continued from page 1 S. Chapin will share some of his expe- focuses on the changing roles of students,” Niles says. Niles is anxious to hear more feed- riences in direction and production women and men in American soci- back and feels that because of the the Serengeti of East Africa, where Niles reports that Dining Services on Broadway. ety. five-week menu plan, it is hard to tell he studies the connection between is constantly making changes for Chapin is currently the president Faludi’s journalism credits how students feel thus far. Niles says personality and stress-related the better. Last year, the lead Dining and executive director of the Rodgers include articles for The New York that he adheres to an “open-door diseases in a population of wild Service staff members were ServSafe and Hammerstein Organization, Times, The Miami Herald and The policy” and encourages students to baboons. certified and food safety is demand- which represents not only the works Atlanta Journal-Constitution. Her first bring their concerns directly to him. Lawrence will welcome Juliette ed of every staff member. of Rodgers and Hammerstein but also book, “Backlash: The Undeclared War Last year, Niles went to the Kayyem, terrorism expert, in Niles has personally never seen artists such as Irving Berlin, Jerome Against American Women,” explored Student Welfare Committee, of which February. Kayyem lectures on law, any complaints about contaminants Kern and Andrew Lloyd Webber. reactions against feminism, particu- he is an advisor, with a complete pro- homeland security and national secu- in food and feels that if contami- Under Chapin’s guidance, R & larly negative stereotypes against posal for a University Dining Service rity at Harvard University’s John F. nants are ever a problem, students H has received three Tony and two career women. Advisory Committee. This commit- Kennedy School of Government. must immediately voice concerns Drama Desk Award nominations for In her second book, “Stiffed: tee would consist of interested and A graduate of Harvard Law in order to immediately solve the Best Musical Revival. Chapin has also The Betrayal of the American Man,” varied students who would do such School, Kayyem has worked as a problem. served as a Tony Award nominator, a Faludi looks at gender perceptions things as secret shop various prod- trial lawyer, a journalist in South Dining Services is really “the stu- visiting lecturer at Oxford University, from a different perspective using ucts and advise the Dining Services Africa, and legal advisor to Attorney dents’ dining service” says Niles. “I and panelist or chairman for numer- interviews with a variety of men, management according to student General Janet Reno. Kayyem testi- am not satisfied yet,” he says of ous programs and organizations pro- from Marines to porn stars. needs, desires and concerns. This fies frequently before Congress and Dining Services’ attempts to please moting the arts. The Honors Convocation will proposal was, however, dismissed at appears regularly as a national secu- LU’s population. This year’s Honors Convocation take place in May. the time. rity analyst on NBC News. “Nutrition is a huge concern for The Lawrentian

Friday, september 29, 2006 opinions & Editorials 5

reflect aspects of one’s personality than those richly detailed fantasies that you’ve been cultivating ever The since you first glimpsed the opening credits of “Baywatch.” PHOTO POLL : Lawrentian But, FAF, we digress. So how might you make this fantasy a little more likely to succeed? For one, be Who do you think donated the prepared. Particularly if you’re usu- Editor in Chief: ally one of those disorganized types; $15 million grant? Corin Howland nothing will impress her more then Managing Editor: What's your when she sees you’ve bought the Corey Lehnert Darth Vader costume, the chocolate fantasy? syrup, and the mechanical bull. News Editor: Beth McHenry Dear Lawrentian Editorial Staff, Furthermore, be confident, because if you’re to make this dream Associate News Editor: I kind of have this fantasy that come true, you can’t expect your “Houdini." Emily Alinder -Chris Cluthier I’ve been wanting to act out with my partner to take the lead (at least, initially). Lastly, and perhaps most Features Editor: girlfriend, but I’m a little worried Meghan McCallum about what she’ll think. Any sugges- importantly, make sure you have adequate communication regarding tions? Opinions & Editorials Editor: what you would like to do in this Veronica DeVore - Flustered About Fantasies “fantasy,” as the last thing you want is to find her at your door with a 20- A & E Editor: Hannah Jastram Kudos to you, FAF, for trying to sided die and a Dungeons & Dragons rulebook when you had something make your dreams a reality while, at Associate A & E Editor: the same time, sticking it to the man. else in mind. Paul Karner Long has this societal machine kept Good luck, FAF. The Lawrentian us confined to the straight and nar- Editorial Staff feels for you, as we, Sports Editor: “That guy from Ferris Bueller's Peter Griffith row of the sexual act, condemning too, have a fantasy we’d like to bring up with our significant other--Metro Day Off to assuage his moles- any kink in our gears as something tation charges.” Associate Sports Editor: adverse to the health of the nation. Printing--involving ink, paper, and -Allison Berry Philip Roy Fantasies are nothing to be proper color alignment. ashamed of, and, in keeping with Co-Photo Editors: Raad Fadaak this publication’s academic roots, See Romance on page 7 Jen Cox The Lawrentian Editorial Staff might modestly suggest that sexual fantasy Have a question about sex or Layout Editor: brought to life is a necessary exten- romance for The Lawrentian’s Karl Weber sion of the liberal arts curriculum Romance Experts? Send it in an email to [email protected] with Associate Layout Editor: (see: Freud, Kinsey, Hefner). After Christie McCowen all, FAF, few things more genuinely “Discount Cialis Soft Tabs” in the subject heading Copy Chief: Mandy Burgess

Business Manager: Staff Editorial “George W. Bush.” Dane Sorensen -Sirgourney Tanner Web Manager: Student Advisory Committee for Brent Schwert

Circulation Manager: Dining should be formed ASAP Meghan McCallum

Due to increasing health consciousness and even more recent Journalism Advisers: concern about food-borne illness after a nationwide E. coli outbreak, Staff of the Appleton Post-Crescent students have become more and more critical of the food they eat every day. Those who are vegetarians and/or vegans are particularly Campus Adviser: concerned about the contents of their food and have long been offer- Paul Shrode ing suggestions to Dining Services about how best to accommodate their needs. Editorial Policy: In order to better address the concerns of all students, Director of Editorial policy is deter- Dining Services Pat Niles attempted to form a student advisory board mined by the editor. Any opin- to address dining concerns. He envisioned a diverse group represent- ions which appear unsigned are those of the majority of ing all sorts of different interests, opinions and tastes in food. “Something completely inno- The Lawrentian’s editorial In addition to participating in regular meetings, students on the cent from my childhood. The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man.” board. board would act as “secret shoppers” of sorts, testing the food and -Greg Blike Letters to the editor are reporting their findings to Dining Services. If fruit was overripe one welcome and encouraged. The day, meat was overcooked, or there simply wasn’t enough of some- editor reserves the right to edit thing, the right people would hear about it and address the problem. for style and space. Letters This group was far into the planning stages last year, and a pro- must be e-mailed to: posal was even brought before the Student Welfare Committee to [email protected]. Submissions by e-mail should get formal recognition as a student committee. Unfortunately, for be text attachments. whatever reason, the process stopped there and the group was never officially formed. Niles hopes to bring the issue before Student Welfare —All submissions to the edito- again this year, as he feels there was enough interest last year to gener- rials page must be turned in to ate an effective group. The Lawrentian no later than With planning for the Campus Center very much underway, it is 5 p.m. on the Monday before more important than ever that students give input about what they publication. do and don’t like to eat. Dining Services will eventually be relocated —All submissions to the edi- torials page must be accom- to the Campus Center and reworked to accommodate diverse dietary “Rik Warch.” panied by a phone number needs and tastes. In order for this transition to be effective, student -Christine Whack at which the author can be input is essential. contacted. Articles submitted Students interested in giving input or participating in the new without a contact number will Dining Services Advisory Board should contact the Student Welfare not be published. Committee and express their interest in getting the group formed as —The Lawrentian reserves the soon as possible. Lawrentians are fortunate to be a part of a close-knit right to print any submissions community where Dining Services can literally cater to student needs received after the above dead- line and to edit each submis- and requests. The only problem occurs when these requests are not sion for clarity, decency, and communicated effectively, and a Student Advisory Board would cer- grammar. tainly help improve the dining experience at Lawrence. —Letters to the editor should not be more than 350 words, and will be edited for clarity, The opinions expressed in these editorials are those of the “Mark Zuckerberg.” decency, and grammar. students, faculty, and community members who submitted -Tammy Hockers —Guest editorials may be arranged by contacting the them. All facts are as provided by the authors. The Lawrentian editor in chief or the editorials does not endorse any opinions piece except for the staff edi- editor in advance of the pub- lishing date. torial, which represents a majority of the editorial board. The Lawrentian welcomes everyone to submit their own opinions using the parameters outlined in the masthead. Photo poll by Christine Beaderstadt. The Lawrentian

6 Arts & Entertainment Friday, september 29, 2006 Icelandic artist's work Theater season has U.K. theme Hannah Jastram ent play every night,” theater and Lawrence’s Dance Company pres- graces Kohler Gallery A&E Editor music major Matt Murphy said. ents “Various States of Undress” Auditions took place this week winter term. The critically acclaimed Elena Amesbury attended both the Icelandic This year’s theater season kicks under the direction of Fellow piece from last season will be per- Staff Writer Academy of the Arts and the off with English classic “Hamlet” Annette Thornton, who is leaving formed one night only, Jan. 19. Reykjavik School of Art, and her and continues the geographical at the end of the year. “We’ll just To round out the term, the work has been shown in Denmark, theme on the main stage. not think about that,” Privatt said Conservatory Opera will perform Friday, Sept. 22 marked the New Zealand, Iceland and through- Associate Professor of Theatre sadly. “Annette is wonderful.” two one-act plays by Giacomo opening of the latest exhibition out the United States. Arts Kathy Privatt spoke of a dis- Besides the core main stage Puccini, “Suor Angelica” and shown in the Wriston Art Center Gudjonsdottir uses recycled cussion with fellow associate pro- show, each term boasts a few other “Gianni Schicci.” The pieces con- Galleries. materials for her work, a trait she fessor Timothy Troy. “Tim suggest- theatrical events. For example, the trast not only in content, but also The collections included in the feels her thrifty ancestors passed ed we play with the idea that we do winter and spring terms showcase in language. The former will be exhibition are “Asian Art in the down to her. Throughout her career, an Irish season or a U.K. season.” the work of student directors. In performed completely in Italian, Permanent Collection” in the Leech she has focused mainly on glass While in Ireland last year, February, David Hanzal will direct while “Gianni Schicci,” which is Gallery, “Made in Japan: Recent and ceramics. Troy had done some research into the annual performance of “The more conversational, will be sung Ceramics by Valerie Zimany” in the Of “Seekers,” Gudjonsdottir British scripts and came up with Vagina Monologues.” in English. Hoffmaster Gallery, and the Kohler said, “All my life I have been a “Whiteheaded Boy,” by Lennox “He’ll definitively give an inter- The last event of the season is Gallery’s “Seekers,” a collection of seeker. This new body of work Robinson. Troy will direct the com- esting perspective to the work,” the sixth annual live taping ses- sculpture by Kristin Gudjonsdottir. shows it in a subtle way.” edy spring term on the main stage. said a friend of Hanzal. “I’m curi- sion of the Theatre of the Air. Tim The Asian art from Lawrence’s The landscape of Iceland Privatt did her part to contrib- ous to see if his avant-garde ten- Troy is in charge of the detec- permanent collection includes inspires Gudjonsdottir's work. The ute to the theme. She contacted The dencies will carry over.” tive shows “Yours Truly, Johnny select pieces of ancient art, includ- glass she uses reflects the color of Playwrights’ Center, a Minneapolis- In April, Matt Murphy will direct Dollar,” “Roger Kilgore, Public ing a series of 18th-century Chinese ice, her glazes replicate the texture based organization dedicated to the musical “Working,” by Studs Defender” and “The Adventures of ivories of eight immortals from of lichen, and the lighting of the putting new playwrights into circu- Terkel. Murphy described Terkel Sam Spade.” Chinese myth, two ceramic horses exhibit duplicates the way the sun- lation, and asked for a play relat- as an “urban anthropologist” who Troy found the detective scripts from the Tang Dynasty, Japanese light shines through the Icelandic ed to the U.K. What she got was built a “case study of the American for this performance while he was woodblock prints, and Buddhist clouds. “Smash,” Jeffrey Hatcher’s adapta- worker.” abroad. He pulls actors from voice sculptures from India and Japan. Diagnosed with breast cancer in tion of G.B. Shaw’s “An Unsocial “He interviewed the unsung and diction class in order to short- Lawrence Fellow in ceramics 2001, Gudjonsdottir’s current work Socialist.” heroes of the ‘70s and ‘80s,” Murphy en rehearsal time. The final result Valerie Zimany created “Made in reflects her battles with the side “Shaw’s work certainly has said. “Terkel’s work is really real. is broadcast over WLFM and pos- Japan” during her studies at the effects of chemotherapy as well as political intent,” Privatt said, but It’s gripping in its reality.” sibly even WPR. Kanazawa College of Art in Japan her need for the belief in a higher is not necessarily applicable to With the help of librettist, These events are not the only and the University of the Arts in power. today’s world. “Working” was transformed into a ways to get your theater fix, how- Philadelphia. The art in the exhibit This need led her back to The third production, hitting musical with an unusual version ever. “We have a bumper crop of is modern and reflects the cartoon- Iceland, where she found a natural the main stage this fall, is “The of a pit orchestra. “It calls for two senior projects this year,” Privatt style pop culture icons of Japan energy center. She integrated her Mystery of Edwin Drood,” a musical keyboards, two guitars and one said. “In terms of being involved, and China. Some of the sculptures visit to the center into her work in based on Charles Dickens’ unfin- bass,” Murphy said with a smile. it’s just a case of connecting the are literally piles of cast cartoon other sculptures not found in this ished novel. Because the novel is As for the message of the play, he right people to each other.” In figurines. exhibit, such as “energy seekers”- unfinished, the audience gets to said, “To me, it gives hope to the terms of being an audience, it Kristin – or Stina – Gudjonsdottir stacks of Icelandic stones pointed vote on how the play will end each middle class.” means more nuggets of theater to delivered the lecture for the heav- at the sky. night. Other divisions of the fine arts enjoy. ily attended opening. A native of All three collections can be seen “Potentially, it will be a differ- have something to offer as well. Reykjavik, Iceland, she now lives in the galleries through Oct. 29. in North Carolina. Gudjonsdottir Davis's 'Birth of Cool'

Amelia Perron tempos are more moderate and it’s Staff Writer generally less frantic than bebop.” Another change was the size While classical music buffs have of the ensemble. While big bands been ostentatiously celebrating the were a very recent memory and birthday years of Shostakovich Davis would later form quintets, and Mozart for the past sea- the group onstage Monday was in son, Lawrence jazz faculty spent between the two with nine musi- Monday night celebrating the 80th cians. birthday of another great musician: The jazz instrumental- Miles Davis. ists for Lawrence’s performance Not only is 2006 the 80th anni- included faculty members John versary of Davis’s birth, but 2007 Daniel, trumpet; Tom Washatka, will mark the 50th anniversary alto sax; Nick Keelan, trombone; of the landmark recording “Miles Woody Mankowski, baritone sax; Ahead,” making the 2006-07 sea- Tomboulian, piano; Mark Urness, WLFM rocks the son an important time to perform bass; and Dane Richeson, drums. Davis’s music. Rounding out the nonet were Jim coffeehouse The Lawrence jazz faculty has DeCorsey on French horn and seized the opportunity to perform Marty Erickson on tuba to fill out Saturday Sept. 23 WLFM kicked off the new school year with great music and will be presenting the harmonic possibilities. a concert in the coffeehouse. The show featured an acoustic Miles Davis’s music throughout the Tomboulian cites economic rea- set by senior Paul Karner and a rousing set by dance-pop year. Lawrence jazz piano profes- sons for the change. “After World rockers Inspector Owl from DeKalb, Illinois. After the show, sor Lee Tomboulian said, “We hope War II, big bands were going out-- Inspector Owl played a follow-up set in the basement of to represent most of his innova- hiring all those musicians was too Greenfire house. Clockwise from left: Paul Karner, Ben tions through concerts this year.” expensive.” Grigg and Kara Eubanks of IO, Corey Wills and Bobby Lord The season began with last The ensemble did have musi- of IO, WLFM music directors Charles Hagman and Chris week’s concert, titled “Birth of cal advantages, as Sturm pointed Wright shake their money makers. the Cool,” a commemoration of out. “This is real, true chamber Davis’s 1948 recording known by jazz,” he said. “The instruments are that name, made when Davis was closely spaced, so they can all play only 22 years old. This recording in a cool, understated, idiomatic “was the first of many ways that range. The result is a creamy, spare Miles Davis changed jazz,” says sound. It’s more of a composer’s Tomboulian. art than bebop, because it has so “The title is actually a prophetic much harmonic potential.” term, since it predicts the arrival of Of the music’s complex quality, the ‘cool school,’ or ‘West Coast’ Tomboulian said, “There are lots of style of jazz.” parts flowing in and out. It’s dense, The cool school style came but transparent and very lovely.” directly after bebop and, before Tunes on Monday’s program that, big band, but cool school included “Move” by Denzil Best, added new aspects. Said director which Tomboulian describes as “an of jazz studies Fred Sturm, “These up-tempo romp. It’s fun.” guys got together and said, ‘Let’s In an opinion apparently shared not do what bebop was doing.’” by the large and enthusiastic audi- Tomboulian said, “There is a ence, Tomboulian also describes lot of bebop in cool school, but the the music as “a treat for the ears.” The Lawrentian

Friday, September 29, 2006 Arts & Entertainment 7 Five actors from across the pond visit the Cloak Theatre Jessica Vogt The challenges of working with ence for both actors and audience. as the Royal Shakespeare Company and words. Staff Writer such a small cast extend much The last time the AFTLS came to and Shakespeare’s Globe Theatre. Much of the acting on stage is beyond using the same actor to por- Lawrence was in 2004, when time They began as such a uniquely small not about a specific interpretation, The Actors from the London tray two very different characters. they performed “A Midsummer company for purely logistical rea- but rather just “seeing how it all Stage graced the stage of the Cloak The AFTLS work with few props, no Night’s Dream” with also only five sons.” Five actors were what they turns out,” as Geoffrey Beevers, who Theatre this week in performances set and no director. actors. could get into a car with luggage,” plays Polonius, puts it. of William Shakespeare’s “Hamlet.” “We work as sort of a benign The AFTLS is one of the old- said Wilton. “I just do something and let An audience of Freshman Studies democracy, or meritocracy, I guess est touring Shakespeare compa- This small cast is also congruent people decide for themselves what it classes, upperclassmen, faculty and you could call it,” said Richard nies. Conceived 30 years ago by with the small traveling companies all means,” said Stacey. general public watched Tuesday eve- Stacey, who plays Hamlet, Fortinbras Professor Homer Swander of the of Shakespeare’s day. The minimal “It’s a cycle,” adds Wilton, where ning as the cast of AFTLS gave a and Barnardo. Each actor initially University of California-Santa props and costumes are true to actors and audience members are sparse but intimate performance of does his own interpretation of his Barbara, the company draws actors much of Shakespeare’s vision of a equally a part of the production. the Shakespearian tragedy. characters and then the other cast from such prestigious companies theater practice focused on the text “You take from it what you want.” Throughout the play, the vari- members add their own feelings and ous characters are played by the thoughts along the way. four actors and one actress, who “It’s very forensic,” added minimally alter their basic costume Terence Wilton, who plays Claudius, or props to indicate what character the ghost of Hamlet’s father, a grave- they are at the moment. digger and several other small char- It is interesting to see two dif- acters. “We just sort of dust around ferent characters in the tragedy all these old words and inevitably portrayed by the same actor; for something comes up.” instance, Anna Northam plays Indeed, with only four and half both Gertrude and Ophelia, which weeks of rehearsal and constant occasionally requires some imagi- change of theatrical venue, they are native thinking when they are in constantly tweaking and reworking the same scene. Rosencrantz and their production. Before the Tuesday Guildenstern--the comic relief of evening performance the actors “Hamlet”--are also played by the spent the afternoon working in the same actor, Robert Mountford. black box space provided by the “There were so many options Cloak Theater, focusing on how to for how I could play them,” said play to the intimacy of the space. Mountford in the talk back after “This space is wonderful com- Tuesday’s performance, including as pared to all your big theaters that one character with a split personal- seat some 14,000 people, because ity or as puppets. “But I finally decid- you can play with the subtleties a bit ed that anything but playing two more,” commented Northam. separate people would be a bit of a Whispering between scenes and gag fest for me,” he added, chuck- intense facial expression combine Photo by Raad Fadaak ling. “And the audience wouldn’t get with an audience on three sides Actors from the London Stage run workshops with students of Freshman Studies. much out of it.” to make a unique theatre experi-

element of the absurd that seemed wind trip of indie-rock super- Sufjan Stevens to draw the audience even closer stardom. The current tour was continued from page 1 to the curious man behind all the spurred by a surprising evening spectacle. of performances by Stevens at July of 2005. The audience themselves, a the Lincoln Center in New York The set contained songs from rather homely bunch, sat comfort- in January. both the “Michigan” and “Illinoise” ably in their padded theatre seats. The performances were the records with a few selections from Some quietly sipped pint cans of first to include such a large his less publicized “Seven Swans.” PBR as though they were glasses ensemble and the unassuming He also played a number of tracks of Chardonnay and gazed at their artist from Michigan embraced off his most recent release “The beloved yet puzzling Sufjan. it wholly. In an online interview Avalanche” (2006, Asthmatic Kitty) With an unbelievable knack for after the performances, Stevens that featured the remaining unre- melting playfulness and irony into was quoted to say, “It was the leased tracks from the “Illinoise” deeply rooted narratives both on a first time I felt like the songs recordings. lyrical and musical level, Stevens has were fully realized live. But if The evening concluded with an become one of the most undisput- that’s what’s required, I’m not encore in which Stevens and three edly acclaimed artist to ever emerge sure I can do that.” other band members returned in from the underground without los- Months later, however he jeans and T-shirts for a humble per- ing his inscrutability that has kept proved he could and embarked formance of the dark and reflective fans hanging on his every move. on his current tour, receiving “John Wayne Gacy, Jr.” and a quietly What began as a modest collec- unadulterated awe and approval anthematic “Chicago.” tion of quaint yet colorfully arranged at every stop. Regardless of how As the band fluttered through folk musings and a rumored hack- uncomfortable Sufjan Stevens some of the most lush performances neyed plot to record an album for may feel in his new set of wings, of Stevens’ otherwise rather quaint each of the 50 states has since fans and critics alike seem to Photo courtesy of Paul Karner Sujfan Stevens entertains his audience with his quaint folk songs. folk songs, there was a noticeable launched Sufjan Stevens on a whirl- agree that they are a perfect fit.

as the elderly. The sit-down method Romance is also a terrific way of showing a girl continued from page 5 you’re actually interested in what she The Lawrentian is seeking has to say. Dear Lawrentian Editorial Staff, Now if you’re talking to the lass of your dreams, and the ground beneath charismatic, money-hungry Every time I try to talk to a girl at your feet feels suspiciously hot, you are the pool I get a boner! What do I do? in a predicament. Sitting down runs the individuals for the position of -Shivering and Ashamed risk of making your future second wife feel quite uncomfortable and you don’t Don’t panic. Shiver, the pool is quite want that. Ad Manager. possibly the holy grail of awkward plac- You need an emergency exit strat- es to achieve an erection. egy, so here are two solutions. Look Let’s start with the problem and for the locker room and the pool. If a little biology. You see, Shiver, recent the deep end of the pool is closer, studies have shown that the penis con- run (don’t mind the lifeguards, they’ll tains a slight amount of tissue similar understand), and dive straight to the These dollar signs could be yours! in structure to your very own brain. bottom where you should remain as The rumors are true. It has a mind long as possible. of its own. So with that, let’s toss any If the locker room is closer, use $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ thoughts of erection prevention out the the Texas tuck your father taught you window and move straight to damage and sprint there. If you use the correct control. emergency response, your bombshell The simplest out-of-the-pool solu- friend will probably think you’re one of tion is to sit down, lean forward, and those crazy, aggressive types and will email [email protected] cross your arms so they are resting on approach when you return with some your thighs. Your boner is immediately hardcore thoughts of pleasing you. with subject: "I wanna be a super star!" cloaked from the eyes of babes as well The Lawrentian

8 Sports Friday, September 29, 2006

Vikings fire on all cylinders; win 45-18 Lawrence University Phil Roy Appleton East showed his arm off ference penalty to put up another 6 Associate Sports Editor on the Vikings’ next drive, complet- points. scoreboard ing a 17-yard pass to Craig Ebert A.J. Walker capped off Lawrence’s A week ago, when asked to and later a 48-yard pass to senior next drive with a short touchdown Football comment on the Vikings’ recent receiver Jake Tewalt for another six. run to end the Vikings’ scoring for performances, running back Aljay Micke, who was named the Midwest the day. Walker ended with 109 Lawrence 45 Wren asserted his confidence in the Conference’s special teams player of yards off of 14 carries. Pioneer quar- Grinnell 18 team’s capabilities and said that the week for his performance, had terback Sean Pfalzer threw a perfect they hadn’t showed their full poten- another huge return at the end of ball over Lawrence’s secondary for Men’s Soccer Vikes, More tial yet. Grinnell’s next unsuccessful drive, an 89-yard touchdown at the end of carrying the ball 45 yards to the the third quarter. Lawrence 1 A few days later, the Vikings Edgewood 2 Vikes! showed no mercy and much of their Grinnell 42. The punters got a workout in potential against a winless Grinnell Lawrence’s backfield brought the final quarter as the game ended Lawrence 1 team as they treated fans to a 35- out its next weapon in A.J. Walker, with the 45-18 score line. The stats MSOE 2 with Peter Griffith point offensive explosion in the who moved the chains twice before were as impressive as the score Sports Editor first quarter. Maxam connected with Ebert to put line. The Vikings put up 519 total Women’s Soccer Wren led the attack, putting up the 35-0 score line at the end of offensive yards and scored 4 out Dear Terrell Owens, up Lawrence’s first points on the the first quarter. The second quarter of the 5 times they were in the red Lawrence 3 I’m glad you’re not dead. No wait, second play of the would be a far quieter affair for the zone. Lawrence had a mammoth MSOE 0 I’m glad you’re alive. Let’s begin with opening drive. The 370 rushing a positive statement. When I traded running back from yards including Volleyball Cottage Grove fought Wren’s 126 on you from my fantasy team for Ahman Lawrence 0 Green last week, I didn’t know how through the Grinnell just six carries. The running Illinois College 3 strongly you felt about your roster D-line, shrugged off a couple of lineback- back saw little spot. I didn’t know, and for that, I’m Lawrence 3 ers and sped past action after sorry. I may have failed you as a fan- Grinnell 0 the secondary for a his explosive tasy football team owner, but I want spectacular 56-yard first quarter in Lawrence 0 you to know that I’ll never fail you as touchdown run. order to rest a Monmouth 3 a friend. Eleven seconds of sore shoulder. Ever since you moved to Dallas, game time later, the Maxam went an Tennis I knew you were turning over a new Pioneers found them- efficient 7-10 Lawrence 0 leaf. Some people didn’t think you selves in a punting for 129 yards and two touch- UW-Stout 9 could “shape up.” They thought that situation. “Dangerous Derek Micke,” as the downs, and your antics with the Eagles and 49ers Lawrence 4 announcer referred backup QB Ron proved that you were only capable of Hamline 5 to him, brought the Jacques looked making a mockery out of the fine tradi- crowd back to their impressive run- tion of the NFL. I know you were mis- feet as he accelerated ning the option. understood, though. I knew all along, down the right side- The win and the 14 fantasy points you put up line 70 yards all the takes the Vikings’ record in week one showed everyone that I way into the Grinnell Photo by Ryan Day standings didn’t make a mistake drafting you end zone, taking the Backup RB A.J. Walker ran 14 times for 109 yards. to 2-2, a mark they have only 26th overall. score to 14-0 with the game still under three minutes old. managed to reach twice before in I also want you to know that I Things would not get easier Vikings, as they would only put up the past nine years. The team will, FOOTBALL don’t blame you at all for breaking for the Pioneers. After moving the another three points on a Kenny undoubtedly, be looking to run the Team MWC O’all St. Norbert 3-0 4-0 your hand in the first quarter of your chains once, Grinnell’s quarterback Alvord field goal. table now, with the two toughest week two matchup with the Redskins. The Pioneers managed to get on conference opponents out of the Monmouth 3-0 3-1 saw his pass bobbled by a receiver Ripon 3-0 3-1 I know you were just making a routine and then grabbed out of the air by the scoreboard before the intermis- way. One of the bigger challenges Carroll 2-1 2-2 block--which, by the way, is so com- Viking rover-back Billy Bodle. sion, beating the Vikings in the air a they will face in the next few weeks Illinois College 2-1 2-2 mendable for a high profile WR like The “Wren-show” resumed with couple of times for the touchdown. will be their upcoming fixture at Knox 1-2 2-2 yourself. Aljay yet again punishing the Pioneer The ailing Pioneers squabbled the Illinois College. Lawrence 1-2 2-2 extra point attempt however, leav- The Blueboys fell to Ripon this It may have caused you to drop a defense with a 49-yard run into the Beloit 0-3 1-3 red zone that was capped off by ing the score at 38-6 as the teams last weekend but have two other con- Grinnell 0-3 0-4 ball in the end zone later on and finish a short touchdown run two plays headed to the locker rooms. ference wins to their name, includ- Lake Forest 0-3 0-4 with only 1.9 fantasy points, but the later. The Viking defense forced Both quarterbacks threw inter- ing a three-point victory over Lake squirrels picked up the slack--we beat another three and out, putting quar- ceptions on the first drives of Forest, which will be the Vikings’ Brian’s team by 30 points and carried terback Nick Maxam’s offensive unit the third quarter before Grinnell next home game. That game will be WOMEN’S SOCCER a 2-0 record into week three--your bye- back on the field. drove down the field on Lawrence’s played under the lights at the Banta Team MWC O’all reserve unit, making use off a long Bowl Oct. 7 at 6 p.m. Grinnell 3-0-0 6-1-1 week. That metal plate they attached The former standout at Lake Forest 2-1-0 4-2-0 to the bone of your right ring finger is pass play and a defensive pass inter- Beloit 2-2-0 4-3-0 helping, right? St. Norbert 1-0-0 3-2-0 As you know, the squirrels faced a Women’s Soccer Dismantles MSOE Carroll 1-0-0 3-3-0 huge test week three, with three-time Monmouth 1-1-0 4-2-1 slide the ball behind the Viking backs, guarded by the opposing defenders Lawrence 1-1-0 3-4-0 fantasy bowl champion The Fighting Ted Johnson for The Lawrentian but junior keeper Candace Gangl in the first half. Bean and Moore were Illinois College 0-1-0 3-4-0 Toasters coming to town. And as I’m smothered the ball both times before in on the assist. Only a few moments Knox 0-2-0 0-4-1 sure you also are aware, LaDainian also an MSOE forward could reach it. later, Bean herself scored off Gangl’s Ripon 0-3-0 2-4-1 was off for this all-important divisional On a cool, drizzly Saturday after- Offensively, the Vikings opted punt from her goal. showdown. The truth is, I needed a noon, the Lawrence women’s soccer not to play midfield keep-away but After Bean’s goal, the Vikings MEN’S SOCCER Team MWC O’all running back. When I noticed that Matt team methodically dismantled the instead lobbed the ball from the continued to substitute freely and Raiders from the Milwaukee School Grinnell 2-0-0 4-2-2 needed a wide receiver for week four, defense to Jackie Bean and Crystal nearly the entire bench saw time on Beloit 2-1-0 3-1-1 of Engineering. Castillo, who could be found flying the field. In the end, Lawrence posted I did what every sensible owner would Playing on their home field, with Lake Forest 2-1-0 5-1-0 do--I traded. down the wings. 14 shots and Gangl recorded a clean St. Norbert 1-0-0 5-0-1 more energy than the visitors and Bean fired the first serious shot sheet, as well as her first career But Terrell, if you had only read Illinois College 1-0-0 1-5-2 with about five times the number of of the game after breaking Lawrence 1-1-0 4-4-0 the terms of the trade, you would have substitutes, the LU women appeared away on the right side, and Carroll 0-0-0 0-5-1 known that I get you back after this to have a number of advantages. barely missed the top far post Monmouth 0-1-0 3-3-1 week! It was only a temporary loan, However, they were seriously disad- corner. Sophomore Bean would Knox 0-2-0 1-4-1 not a full-fledged trade by any means. vantaged in one respect: Their start- continue to pressure the MSOE Ripon 0-3-0 0-8-0 And because of your “sacrifice,” the ing sweeper hurt her ankle in practice defense from her right midfield on Friday. The Vikings responded by VOLLEYBALL squirrels squeaked by the Toasters and post and by the 30th minute or filling the gap with junior Amanda so LU had won a couple of cor- MWC North Division moved to 3-0! Follett, who anchored a commanding Team MWC O’all So, T.O., I ask for your forgiveness. ner kicks on which they failed St. Norbert 4-0 15-4 defense. to capitalize. You have so much to live for, including Carroll 3-1 8-7 Before any mention should be By the 32nd minute, it was reclaiming your starting WR spot when made of goal scoring or offensive pos- Beloit 2-1 11-5 time for the Lawrence women Photo by Christie McCowen Ripon 1-2 8-9 session, the Viking defense should be Freshman Pam Golemgeski saw action for the Vikings. week five rolls around and Matt sends to make a statement. From a Lawrence 1-2 6-11 you back to me. The entire Squirrels credited--not only with a shut-out, ball played across the left half organization is with you, including but for limiting MSOE to seven shots of the field from Julianne Eggum, assist. What the stat sheet does not myself and the 2005 fantasy PK of the including only four shots on goal. Ashlee Moore launched a curving show, though, is the stellar play of The Vikings’ speed and aggressive- year Neil Rackers. first-time shot into the net from the defense, including a standout Statistics are courtesy of ness in the back set the tone early in beyond the 18-yard box. effort in the midfield from Eggum. www.lawrence.edu and the game; in the first half MSOE could In the second half, the Vikings Wednesday’s game against www.midwestconference. Best wishes for a speedy recovery, only muster two shots. wasted no time solidifying the win, Edgewood was postponed. No make- org and are current as of Peter Within the first 20 minutes of the and in the 47th minute Beth Shaker up date has been announced. September 27, 2006 game, the visitors managed to twice found the net after being closely