GREATER HAMILTON’S INDEPENDENT VOICE APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VOL. 25 NO. 14

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DUMBO • QUARTET • BREXIT • JELL-O • PIPELINES • REAL ESTATE • FREE WILL ASTROLOGY • EARTH TALK 2 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 3 THEATRE 07 QUARTET

photo by: INSIDELynne Jamieson THIS ISSUE APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 08 COVER CAROLINE WILES FORUM MUSIC 05 EARTH TALK 08 Hamilton Music Notes 05 PERSPECTIVE Brexit 12 Live Music Listing 05 PERSPECTIVE International Oil 05 PERSPECTIVE Jell-O MOVIES 18 REAL ESTATE Local Agent 16 REVIEW Dumbo SCENE 17 Movie Reviews 07 THEATRE Quartet ETC. 18 General Classifieds FOOD 19 Free Will Astrology 10 Dining Guide 19 Adult Classifieds

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4 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW [PERSPECTIVE] by MICHAEL TERRY

WHAT DOES A nation do when nothing works? the seemingly democratic decision to leave the This is the overwhelming conundrum that has European Union. Now, at bottom, this was the been plaguing the United Kingdom since a slim wrong choice. This doesn’t mean that continuing majority of its citizens decided to up and bail on membership in the EU would just be an all around the European Union. As the months have piled great thing for Britain. But, it’s obviously better up, Britain has careened to a supposed Brexit with than this alternative. So, what happens when little to no idea how the hell to actually do the democracy yields an untenable position? What damn thing. This was made especially clear last can possibly remedy that? So far, well, nothing. week, when after multiple failed votes on That is the one thing that actually makes sense in maligned Prime Minister Teresa May’s Brexit deal al lol this. After all, stating a position, a desire, opened the door to a vote on a whole mess of articulated through a vote to Leave is one thing. options. Eight proposals in total were tabled, in a Actually creating a plan for an action that is non- pointless attempt to find a way forward. Her deal sensical is another thing entirely. So, you have a was voted down again, but so to was the idea of No decision that is made that is fundamentally the Deal, same for a Customs Union, as well as a sec- incorrect one. A decision that was made in a cam- ond referendum, and so on. Nothing works. So paign wrought with lies, exaggeration, and fear. what do you do? Now, you have to square that with this pesky thing May had already made the first seemingly dra- called reality. matic move, announcing she would step down if In retrospect, the referendum was botched. As they’d just pass the damn thing, and allow others bad as the decision to even hold it ended up being, to somehow take over the next phase of this disas- the format of it was just as ludicrous. For a ques- ter. This, you guessed it, failed to deliver and it tion as large as the one faced in the Brexit cam- gives nothing other than more chaos. Now, in an paign, it should have been formalized that the first even more desperate move, May has pivoted com- vote was for the intent to leave dependent on a pletely. She’s announced she’ll just approve any- deal that could also secure the majority in a refer- BREXIT DELIRIUM thing that can get to a majority. She’s offered endum. That path would not have been without negotiations with the opposition parties. This has its own flaws, to be sure, but at least it would pro- just the circus. Such is the state of disrepair in involved recognize what they’ve done, the chaos brought some support from her rivals, but is leav- vide an out. Instead, those who are insisting on British politics that is now almost unfathomable they’ve sown. But, they also know they’re locked ing her with dwindling confidence from her own Brexit are pointing to the will of the people. But, that whatever comes of Brexit will be a good into that chaos completely. It’s as though they’re party. If it weren’t so gravely serious, it would make where does that will stand in a situation where the thing. More likely, this decision, followed by looking for a way out while knowing there’s no for the greatest episode of Veep ever conceived. proposed deals are shown to be disastrous? whatever decision (or non–decision) is ultimately way out. What it is for all of us, is a microcosm of As Britain teeters in these winds of delirium, We who bask in the glory of democracy would made, will plague the United Kingdom and its the crises to come. Issues like climate change, dis- we should take pause to look at what this shows us do well to admit its pitfalls. Such is the reverence political structure for a generation at least. placement, wealth stratification, artificial intelli- about the state of democracy. Yes, this is a prob- of the democratic process, that people and nations Watching this unfold in this incredible refraction gence, will all come up against these processes, lem, at the moment, particular to Britain, but the often leave themselves exposed to brutal out- of uncertainty and unknowing has been fascinat- and we too may find ourselves lost in situations template is important to consider. First, we have comes like this one. For Britain, for now, there’s ing and disturbing. It’s as though the parties where nothing works. V IS HAIR DYE[EARTH CARCINOGENIC?TALK] bladder cancer), DMDM Hydantoin (an immuno- Hollywood-based stylist, there are many all–natural toxin restricted in other countries but not the ways to enhance, brighten or alter your existing U.S.), ammonia (respiratory problems and asth- hair color without subjecting your locks to carcino- ma), coal tar (a known carcinogen), resorcinol (a genic chemicals. “Fruit, vegetable, and herb hormone disruptor) and eugenol (cancer, allergies, restorative color cocktails are excellent rinses that and immune and neurological issues). These dyes can be applied once per week to refresh your color,” penetrate and bind with hair shafts; darker dyes she reports. “Tea, coffee and wine hair stains are require more of the potentially harmful coloring also gentle ways to add subtle hints of opaque color, agents and are therefore more dangerous. depth, highlights and shine.” Check out her DIY Three–quarters of adult women in the U.S. hair color treatment recipes and techniques in her color their hair, but it’s the hair care workers, HuffPost article “7 Non–Toxic Solutions to exposed to noxious chemicals daily, who are most Healthy Hair Colour.” at risk. According to the American Cancer Society Another way to avoid potentially dangerous (ACS), some studies have shown that hairdressers, hair color treatments is to just get over your mis- stylists and barbers who work with these dyes do placed vanity and accept your natural hair color — indeed have a slightly elevated risk of developing even if it’s gray — as a beautiful expression of who bladder cancer, leukemia or non-Hodgkin lym- you are and what you stand for in the increasingly phoma, while others proved inconclusive. 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Some favourite between the chemicals harmful substances, including formaldehyde all–natural, non–toxic brands to try include EarthTalk® is produced by Roddy Scheer andDoug (linked to cancer and fetal damage in utero), p- EcoColors, Hairprint, Organic andMineral, Moss for the 501(c)3 nonprofit EarthTalk. To in hair dye and cancer? Phenylenediamine (lung and kidney problems, Logona, Good Dye Young and Naturigin. donate, visit www.earthtalk.org. Send questions to: —Cyndi B. According to Nicole Cothrun Venables, a [email protected].

VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 5 [PERSPECTIVE] by JOCK FINLAYSON and DENISE MULLEN THE HIGH-STAKES INTERNATIONAL OIL GAME THAT CANADA’S LOSING cerns about climate change that can’t be ignored. However, killing the Canadian oil industry will do precisely nothing to curb global greenhouse gas emis- sions or help the world’s climate. Indeed, if Canada ceased to exist tomorrow, the resulting drop in emis- sions would be equivalent to roughly one month of Chinese emissions. To transport oil, the safest and most efficient method is pipelines. So it’s no coincidence that this is where the American–funded envi- ronmental groups agitating to shut down the Western Canadian oil industry have focused their efforts. Looked at in a North American context, the irony of the situation is hard to overstate. Since 2008, a whopping 58,255 kilometres of new crude oil pipelines have been added to the U.S. net- work. Despite steadily rising oil pro- CANADA HAS LONG depended on a That became evident in recent ally slumped. duction, Canada has added zero kilo- single market for its exports of ener- years as the U.S. ramped up its pro- As the International Energy metres of new pipelines over the gy. This over–reliance on one cus- duction of oil, natural gas and other Agency notes in a new report, “The same period. As a consequence, a tomer, the United States, carries sig- energy products while the prices United States is increasingly leading growing fraction of Canada’s energy nificant risks. Canada receives for its energy gener- the expansion in global oil supplies.” wealth risks becoming stranded, at a In 2018, the U.S. became a net crude time when the U.S. is working hard oil and refined petroleum products to boost its own position as a global exporter. oil supplier and exporter. America’s emergence as a global Former U.S. president Barack hydrocarbon superpower has been Obama recently spoke to adoring underpinned by growing production audiences in Vancouver and Calgary. of shale–based oil and natural gas in Part of his message was a gentle Texas, New Mexico, North Dakota, admonition to Canada to quicken Pennsylvania and a handful of other the shift to a low–carbon economy, states. which presumably includes scaling But it takes time and effort to cre- back the production of fossil fuels. ate market conditions that shift a Yet on Obama’s watch, the nation from being a net importer to a United States almost doubled its net exporter. Infrastructure to move domestic output of crude oil and nat- energy to markets is one necessity, ural gas, and dramatically expanded along with tax and regulatory rules the pipeline networks required to that attract capital, spur entrepre- ship these products. That’s a story neurial activity and recognize the that Obama neglected to tell his nuances of competitive advantage. Canadian audiences. These supporting factors have been The United States is now the in place in the United States for world’s number one producer of more than a decade. crude oil and boasts an expanding Meanwhile, the Canadian oil presence in regional and internation- industry — the largest component of al natural gas markets. The U.S. is our energy sector and a huge contrib- exporting liquefied natural gas utor to Canada’s export earnings — (LNG), while Canada struggles to has been hammered by persistent advance a single LNG production price discounts relative to U.S. facility. benchmarks, escalating govern- When it comes to energy devel- ment–imposed costs, an ever–more opment and policy, Canadians complex regulatory environment and should watch what the U.S. actually a paucity of new infrastructure. does and pay less attention to the Canada has also been handi- musings of its politicians and the capped by endless navel gazing and advice offered by its vast army of hand-wringing on environmental environmental lobbyists. V performance, and the continuous ‘revitalizing’ of project review Jock Finlayson is executive vice-presi- processes that are repelling invest- dent of the Business Council of British ment. Columbia. Denise Mullen is director of Granted, Canadian policy–mak- environment and sustainability at the ers are grappling with legitimate con- Business Council of B.C.

6 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW [THEATRE] by ALLISON M. JONES QUARTET

Photo: Lynne Jamieson

DAVID DAYLER CALLS the process of foibles of our four principals more Aside from his cast, one of directing Quartet, the new production than [they] did in the film.” Dayler’s greatest delights has been now open at The Players’ Guild, a ‘joy As for what he finds most appeal- seeing the set, created by Trevor and filled challenge.’ Describing his cast, ing about this play, Dayler says he Eileen McAnuff. take shape: “I said I comprised of Diane Brokenshire, loves, “the way it explores the aging need a terrace; they gave me a beauti- Graham Clements, Michael process and the need that we all have ful terrace. I said I need a baby grand Hannigan, and Ariel Rogers as ‘four to be loved, the desire for a little kind- piano; they BUILT me one!” The gifted performers,’ Dayler says, “The ness in our lives. You get to see our result is a set that Dayler calls ‘gor- most challenging part was keeping characters confront their mortality in geous,’ and the promotion photos cer- everyone on track and focused a humorous but poignant way.” tainly give evidence of that. because we know each other so well.” David thinks Quartet has a mes- And, while Dayler is eagerly “It was often difficult to know sage for ‘all of us,’ though, “of course it awaiting the release of The Players’ when the rehearsal process ended and will resonate most with those of a ‘cer- Guild’s next playbill, promising some- socializing began,” he chuckles. It tain age’ and those involved in any of thing ‘wonderfully nostalgic,’ he has sounds like a delightful challenge to the arts.” what sounds like an amazing summer have. Working with experienced and project on the go. “I’m working on an Quartet, written by Ronald familiar faces has influenced Dayler’s interactive theatre piece for the Royal Harwood, is a comedy about a trio of experience as director. “The other Botanical Gardens called Spirits of aging opera singers, Cecily (Cissy), night we jokingly said between us we Paradise; it involves a kilometre and a Reginald (Reggie), and Wilfred, who have 150+ years of experience,” he half walk with theatrical interactions live in a retirement home for musi- explains. “That makes for some great all along the way through the beauti- cians. Each year they put on a working rehearsals; they know I trust ful grounds.” fundraising concert to coincide with their instincts and they know I have a Finally, asked if was anything he Verdi’s birthday. When they are vision for where I’d like to see the particularly wished to underscore joined by Reggie’s ex Jean, who comes show go.” about Quartet, Dayler said, “I think I to live in the community, the dynam- Having seen Dayler’s production would just say ‘thank you for joining ic of the now ‘quartet’ is thrown into of The Marvelous Wonderettes at The me on this glorious adventure.’ Each disarray. Players’ Guild back in late November, and every one of them from cast to Harwood’s many plays include The which also has a foursome of principal crew, builders to painters have treated Dresser, which was nominated for an characters, I was curious about how this show with great care and respect. Academy Award for Best Screenplay. his process differed this time around. Together we have been able to cele- It happens to be on Dayler’s ‘wish list’ He admits that he tends to be ‘more brate both the art that Ron Harwood of future productions. Quartet itself explicit in (his) direction’ with has created andour own art and craft.” opened on the West End in 1999 for a younger performers, while “with my V four month run, and was later turned Quartet gang, I let them ‘play’ a bit into a 2012 film directed by Dustin and then I rein them in.” QUARTET Hoffman. “But with all of us ‘of a certain April 5-6, 11-13 & 18-20, 8 PM Dayler explains that the play is age,’ we had nights where we [weren’t] April 7, 13 & 20, 2 PM (matinees) The Players’ Guild of Hamilton quite different from the movie featur- sure who [was] ‘running the asylum!’ 80 Queen St. South ing Dame Maggie Smith and Sir Billy David said, ruefully. “And with a long Box office: (905) 529 - 0284; Connolly. Though both follow the show like this, there is a lot of dia- [email protected] same basic storyline, in the play audi- logue for the brain to memorize.... it Tickets: $25 ences “get to know the quirks and takes a little longer.” ($20 for Thursday performances)

VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 7 [HAMILTON MUSIC NOTES] by RIC TAYLOR people to relate, to feel something posi- time. The reach for this goes out past CAROLINE WILES tive. That’s my goal. I write through my Hamilton. More concerts are being put experiences and hope that I can pass on like this. If I can do this and help peo- along some nice messages though my ple who are struggling and help improve music. I’ve got a family that loves me, their lives even a little bit, I feel I have to loving freaky friends, I’ve got good food do it.” and a warm bed, what more could I ask The more personal origins of the for? I purposely wrote “Life is Lovely” as a event translated in a universal desire to simple song that would be easy to sing help any and all community members in along with and it’s about that. All you need. The recent beneficiary is a non- need to be happy in life is that — and profit set up to help cancer patients with your health, although I didn’t put that in the essentials that some people might not there. “How Dare You” is about domestic even consider. The Cancer Assistance abuse and some people might not want Program is a community-based, not-for- to hear about that or talk about. Still, I profit organization offering free practical was in my late teens, I was in a relation- and tangible services for people affected ship that became abuse but I got out. I by cancer in Hamilton by creating access didn’t share it with anyone and I’m still and removing barriers, promoting per- not comfortable talking about. Last May, sonal safety, reducing or eliminating that person showed up thirty years later financial burden and offering individuals and it was shocking and brought back a with cancer the opportunity to live more lot of bad memories. When I wrote the comfortably, with dignity and improved song a few days later, it was more like emotional health. therapy. I didn’t plan on recording it but “For the past few years we’ve worked I was encouraged to record it by some with the Cancer Assist Program,” says St. friends. We’re going to make a video for James. “They know where to put the it as well now, and if it helps inspire any- money to help people better than me. It’s one to get out of a bad relationship, I’m a great organization in Hamilton and CAROLINE WILES’ Like to Know and 2016’s Lovers Lane with willing to share my story. they’re a great group to work with. They her latest collection of songs, again “I’m trying to write songs that people take care of so many important things “LIVING IN THE NOW” recorded at Grant Avenue with Bob would like of course, but I’m trying to like wigs, and travel and all of the things WHILE SHE’S HAD a Hamilton connec- Doidge, is a mission statement for Wiles write for myself and hoping to incorpo- that they have to deal with as well as the tion for two decades, current Ancaster that has been planned out years ago. rate things so people can relate,” adds disease so I’m happy to help them con- resident Caroline Wiles has spent the last “It’s all been a part of my plan — I was Wiles. “I don’t try to sound like other tinue their work. It’s a marathon that four years living locally but has long since an assistant but I went back to school to people — I just write my songs and put could be longer with the amount of peo- recorded her original music with produc- become a dental hygienist so that I could them out there. I do believe my audience ple that offered their time to help out the er Bob Doidge at Grant Avenue Studio. make more money so that I could some- are my age and older although someone cause. There are some artists that are The musical partnership, with Mike day just make music. I don’t care about younger could like my songs although returning like Tim Gibbons and Big McCurlie, has also spawned a trio that material things — doing what you love is that’s not my attention. I know my music Rude Jake but there are some bands like Wiles plays with in Hamilton. But this much more important. I’ve been lucky sounds more like what you might hear in Lancaster, the Tremors, and the list goes weekend, Wiles steps out into the spot- that I could manage my money and so the ’70s. I put more thought into my on and on. These are such talented musi- light with her fourth album of original here I am. songs so there is more reflection on life so cians. This time out we even have a belly songs, Living in the Now, that underscores “My kids are older so I have more time I would think Baby boomers would be dance company coming out. a galvanized resolve to make music her to myself. I’d become a dental hygienist my fans. You write songs and put them “It’s an entertaining day with artists life. but I recently retired from that. As you out there and it’s not up to you, the lis- getting about twenty minutes so there’s a While Wiles’ focus is on the present, get older you realize what’s important tener decides if they like it or not.” lot of variety over twelve hours,” adds St. with our first encounter we need to clear and I’ve always loved songwriting. It’s my The songs do have more of that afore- James. “We even are doing a raffle and a up the past. Born in Sorel, Quebec, Wiles passion. I want to honour my passion and mentioned ’70s vibe that Wiles might re- 50/50 draw. Between musicians giving would eventually move to Montreal and create on stage and for this weekend’s GINGER ST. JAMES their time and talents, and donors giving my dream by doing music full time now. She’s a singer, a songwriter, band- then Ottawa but gravitate to the Toronto My ultimate goal is to get in with a good special release party sees Wiles joined by supplies, space, time and some really area in 1988 to expand her musical pos- a wealth of friends featuring Bob Doidge, leader and more recently a club promot- exciting raffle prizes, this is going to be music publisher. I want to continue to er at the Casbah but regardless of how sibilities. perform locally, if something happened, Mike McCurlie, Sean O’Grady, Vince our best year yet. This is a colossal event “I played in rock bands when I started Rinaldo, Michael Birthelmer, and Tom busy Ginger St. James gets she makes but somehow each year we’ve pulled it I’d be willing to travel a bit but my time to help those in need. One of the back in 1986 in Ottawa but when I youngest is still 10 so realistically I’m not Beckett as well as Duane Rutter and off. I end up letting loose, running on moved to Toronto, I started more song- Andrew Aldridge, Brenda Chisholm, biggest showcases of her altruistic activi- adrenaline for most of the day and then going to be doing a road tour. That’s not ties includes an all–day marathon of a writing. I was starting a family and work- something I’m able to do at this time. and Dermott Shepherd opening the have the best sleep ever. I promise to do ing as a dental assistant but I started tak- event. charity event she started some six years my best because that’s what I learned in Living in the Now has songs veer from ago that initially began as a plea to help ing these songwriting workshops. I read a the very earnest to entertaining with “We’re only going to be playing the Brownies. But people don’t have to stay lot of books on songwriting and learned songs from this album for this party to put out someone she knew personally that the full twelve hours. There are a lot of mixed results so there’s a lot to unpack. was affected by cancer. so many things that I would never think Lead track and Jay and Trevor Ziebarth a focus on them for this special event,” things to do in the city but we’re selling of. As my kids got older, we had moved says Wiles. “I’m excited to share these “I felt compelled to help my dear wrist bands so people can come and go as video “Googly Gaga Over You” is a win- friend Rae–Lyn Mudryk the first year to Oakville and I started going to the some social commentary on finding love songs and I hope people will like them. they please with those. We want to raise Oakville Folk Club because I hadn’t been The show is filling up so I’d advise people because I was floored to find out she had as much as possible but we hope every- in the internet world that is endearing in cancer and it was the best way I could fig- performing for many years, plus I was a playful way while “Pettin A Dead to get their tickets in advance if you want one has a good time and whatever we solo, which was a lot scarier than being to come. There are some good rocking ure to help out,” recalls St. James. “But raise will help out the cause. It’s an all Mouse” might more sound like a tale the event has grown so much over the part of a band. I was raising a family, from a suburbanite’s misidentified pet songs we’re going to be playing and ages event so bring your kids if you like. working as a dental assistant but all the there’s going to be some dancing so last six years. I never believed the first The music styles are vast so any demo- misfortune. All topics are up for grabs year would work out so successful and so while I had been writing these songs and with Wiles but the more serious fodder there’ll be some of that and there’ll be graphic can find something to love so we I wanted people to hear them. lots of different songs to enjoy. There will we had to do it again and I wanted to hope everyone from one to a hundred includes the more up-tempo contempla- help out more people try to deal with this “I met John Prince and he’d recorded tion on finding happiness in the present be a DJ playing afterwards so the band and one come out for this event.” an album with Bob Doidge and he told can mingle and dance afterward so it’s serious disease. “Life Is Lovely” to the title track that “I keep doing this show because I’d be me to check him out so I went down to offers a mission statement on her career going to be a party.” The Sixth Annual Bands For Boobs Grant Avenue to meet him and really disappointed if I couldn’t wrangle all of happens this Sunday April 7 with or the album opener “How Dare You”, these musicians to help this important liked him. We did my first album in which begins the album with an angrier Caroline Wiles performs this Friday Andrea Matchett, Jay Kipps Band, about a week and I was quite pleased April 5 at the Casbah with Duane cause in our community,” adds St. James. Monte Carlo, George Douglas, tone. “I absolutely love working on this event with it so I’ve done all of my albums with “I tried to be the most positive person Rutter and more. Doors open at 7pm Marcus Starr, Dan Walsh, Famous Bob since. and $15 gets you in. Click on and by no means am I alone in putting Framus and Betty Bomb, Gavin I can be so I try to write the most positive this together. We’ve got thirty acts and Caroline Wiles’ self-titled first album songs with a positive message,” reasons Carolinewiles.com O’Sullivan, Robin Lajoie, Mahasti appeared in 2000, followed by 2006’s I’d countless individuals donating their Wiles. “When you write songs you want CONTINUED ON PAGE 9

8 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW [HAMILTON MUSIC NOTES] UN-TEENS

CONTINUED FROM PAGE 8 with more musical projects in Hamilton is now part of the band on drums. Belly Dancers, Matty Simpson, Alfie but his own songs deserved to be heard. “I had these songs that I had recorded Smith, Danielle Donville, Mike “When I stopped touring with the and I was considering putting out a Gene Williams Band, Randy Wizzo, Boogie Killjoys, I didn’t know what to do with Champagne record or something just to Infection, Shari, Jonny & Justin, The myself musically so I picked up where I get something out because I had to do it,” Hellbent Rockers, Tim Gibbons, The left off and wrote my own songs,” recalls says Champagne. “But I knew I’d have to Creeping Bent Orchestra , Robin Champagne. “I played a little guitar and play some live shows and started asking Jupiter, The Tremors, Big Rude wrote an album and formed Junior some friends to have a listen to what I’d Jake, Cory Mercer and Ginger St. Achiever. We sold all the music to shows done. They wanted to re–record it as a James. Doors open at Noon and $20 like Degrassi that allowed us to make the band so that’s what we did. Technically, gets you in. Click on CD back in 2009. We got picked up by a I’ve produced this album twice now but I casbahlounge.ca or cancerassist.ca Japanese label and toured there but when sent the new tracks to my good friend I started a bus company, the band went to Siegfried Meyer and he mixed it for me THE UN-TEENS the wayside because I was never home for and did a great job.” One of the newest names on the local the better part of five years just constant- The project has been in the works for stage comes from the mind of veteran ly touring with other bands. I had enough the last two years so it’s been a long time rocker Gene Champagne. While of that after five years. coming but this weekend, the Un–Teens Champagne has many laurels and cur- “I started hanging out at This Ain’t debut 7–inch is officially released. The rently many bands to play drums with, Hollywood and Lou [Molinaro] was two songs kind of sound like “Pleasant the singer and songwriter has decided to bringing in all of these cool bands, a lot of Dreams” era Ramones trying to be the step out from behind the drum kit and veteran bands like Cherie Currie and the Killjoys or Teenage Fanclub taking a toss start a new band and this weekend, the Dictators, Walter Lure, so many great at the Fountains of Wayne, or Gene Un–Teens debut 7–inch single is official- bands, some older bands and some of Champagne rocking it up with some ly introduced to the world. them were doing better than the younger friends playing the music he loves — the Champagne would start early making bands and they were just killing it,” adds Un–Teens are veteran rockers playing music with Mike Trebilcock and Dave Champagne. “It was inspiring so I dab- some high energy, catchy tunes to sing Pomfret to form the Monday Nuns some- bled in recording and started doing my along with and while these two tracks — where back when they were in high home studio in the early 2000s but Gord “Rock n Roll Boy” and “Become school. That band would morph into the Lewis wanted an outlet for all of these Unfriends” — give fans a taste, while power pop trio known as the Killjoys. ideas and once I started playing in we’ll have to wait for a debut full length. With Shelley Woods on bass, Trebilcock Tongue Fu, I told Gord to come to my “These are the first two songs from the and Champagne would spend the ’90s place to record some tracks and that’s album that we’ll eventually have come making radio friendly alt–rock with how the Gord Lewis Group started and out, I mean I wanted to do an album but amazing hooks and even win a Juno we ended up doing a five song EP that’s in a world of singles, I thought a 7–inch Award in the process but by the turn of never seen the light of day. Then when would be a great start to introduce the the century, members decided to do their Jack got sick, they’d already played with band to everyone,” says Champagne. own thing. For Champagne, he’d eventu- me so they asked me to fill in a couple of “All the songs will see the light of day, I ally end up starting his own band, Junior shows they had booked and that was two just don’t know in what format or when. Achiever, which would mine similar years ago. I’ve known Gord since the ’90s Lots of guitars, lots of harmonies, it’s got Killjoys influences like Big Star, and they’re friends first so I’ll help out some punk in there but I love a good Fountains of Wayne, Teenage Fanclub, however I can.” melody. I write a certain way so it sounds the Replacements or the Lemonheads. With the production side of things, like that style. Sonically, I tried to change Their sole full length was filled with Champagne would reconnect and help it up a bit and put more of a rock and roll songs notably geared to get into sound- record some songs for a few old friends vibe to this rather than that 2000 power tracks for film and TV with grand success like Paul Cameron’s latest outfit and pop vibe to it. I love pop music, early and the band would even travel to Japan John Connolly’s EyeRollers. The latter punk — I’m a huge Ramones fan — I just to play their music. But after some fifteen reunion would help spawn Champagne’s like hooks, loud guitars and big choruses years, Champagne discovered an oppor- own project. so I don’t think I’ll ever be able to escape tunity to work out of the spotlight, “I’ve known John forever since he was that. founding his own bus tour company to playing in Crimson Jimson in the ’90s but “The Un–Teens are an outlet to have ship bands around the continent. It was doing the EyeRollers thing was probably some fun with some guys I like hanging years before he realized that his musical the most I’d done with him in any musi- out with but I want people to hear the muse couldn’t be denied and once he re- cal capacity,” says Champagne. “I like music,” adds Champagne. “I want people introduced himself to the local scene, a him, the way he plays and thinks. We to be able to take something home and wealth of musical opportunities came up. like a lot of the same stuff like Big Star or put on their record play and play and if The Killjoys reformed, Champagne the Replacements. He probably likes a they love it, that’s all I need. I’m excited would join Lou Molinaro’s Tongue Fu, lot more Brit Pop than I do but we both about his release party, we’re not going to then the Gord Lewis Group and finally like early punk stuff, chimey loud gui- disappoint.” V when Jack Peddler was struck with diver- tars.” ticulitis, Champagne would temporarily Connolly would be enlisted into the The Un-Teens play this Saturday fill in on drums for Teenage Head — all Un–Teens, Neen Youkahana (Trash April 6 at This Ain’t Hollywood with the while setting up a studio to record the Gallery) would join on lead guitar and Blandlord (formerly the Great likes of Gord Lewis as well as EyeRollers while the Forgotten Rebels’ Dan Casale Machine) and Red Room. Doors open debut full–length. He’s never been busier would originally help bring the band to at 9pm and $10 gets you in. Find the the stage, Jay Constable (Trash Gallery) Un-Teens on Facebook.com.

VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 9 For advertising information call 905–527–3343 Ext. 102

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10 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW [ PERSPECTIVE] by SYLVAIN CHARLEBOIS Heinz has been on other issues. Kraft Heinz to increase prices to support margins. Over the past decade or so, Brazilian giant 3G And given that grocers have all the data, they are Capital has deployed ruthless cost–cutting meas- calling the shots as they are putting more pres- SAVING JELL-O ures to raise profits at Anheuser–Busch InBev, sure on vendors like Kraft Heinz. Private labels Burger King, Tim Horton’s and Kraft Heinz, are also a priority for many grocers, which will using a method called zero–based budgeting, make access to shelf space a larger issue. Case and which requires that each expenditure be justified point: Sales of Costco’s private label, Kirkland, every single year, as opposed to the traditional have reached $39b last year, in a little over 700 approach of adding a couple of percentage points retail outlets. That would be 70% more than to the previous year’s line items. It was lethal and Kraft Heinz’s total sales during the same period. drastic, but it was working, that is, up until now. As a backdrop to all of this, however, is the Since the Kraft Heinz merger in 2015, most of moralistic view of public health regulators these the profits have come from cost–cutting meas- days. Public regulators, including Health ures. Canada, are becoming more vocal, and more But what’s more spectacular is what hap- explicit about the perils of processed foods. This pened to the Kraft Heinz marketing budget. The is becoming a nightmare for a company like Kraft company is literally spending $1b less in advertis- Heinz as it will need to navigate through a sea of ing per year compared to 2015. Kraft Heinz, con- growing public skepticism affecting their brands. trolled by Brazil’s 3G Capital and Warren For decades, these behemoth companies have Buffett’s Berkshire Hathaway, has been combat- made millions by selling us convenient products ting steep transportation and commodity costs. which have become part of our way of life. But But some shareholders believe less marketing has what consumers are seeking now, especially the IF SOME WERE still looking for signs that the pow- Just to put this into our own Canadian per- led to brand equity erosion. Over the last two younger demographic, is something different. erplay between brands and consumers is shifting, spective, over $12.6 billion U.S. worth of food at years, Kraft Heinz shares have dropped by 60%, Brands don’t mean much unless the company they got what they were looking for last week. wholesale would equate to about one fifth, or and the brand it is now worth barely half of what serves a larger, holistic purpose for the environ- Kraft Heinz, the owner of major brands we all 20%, of all the food bought at retail in Canada it is was worth in 2015, when Kraft and Heinz ment, health, and other societal issues important know and have been buying for years, like Oscar over the year. Several reports hint at the decline were united. to consumers. So Kraft Heinz and many other Mayer, Jell-O, Kool-Aid, and Kraft’s Mac & of the center section of the supermarket, or the What the company may be realizing is that processed food giants are in trouble, unless they Cheese, announced that it is writing off $15.4 fact that consumers are avoiding major national cutting costs without prejudice is no longer can figure something out. billion worth of intangible assets. Essentially, brands. As for Kraft Heinz, most of their products enough. The company will need to make a case But what is most shocking is the lack of fore- buyers overpaid for Kraft a few years ago. As a are traditionally sold in areas of the food store for its brands, once again by either using more sight from Warren Buffett himself. He was result, the company lost over $12.6 billion U.S. now desperate for foot traffic. It is not a secret to marketing or by reformulating recipes. involved in the creation of the company and this past fiscal year. To make matters worse, the anyone that much of the business that tradition- Regardless, Kraft Heinz will need to spend more, never saw this coming. The Kraft Heinz experi- company is now subject to a federal securities ally went to food multinationals is now going which is counterintuitive to the current compa- ment really shows that the billionaire’s invest- investigation. This essentially means that the elsewhere. Most companies like General Mills, ny’s management mantra. And the inflationary ment philosophy is vulnerable to sudden shifts in company’s management expects its portfolio of ConAgra, Hershey, and Mondelez have adapted environment is not helping either. Amazon, with consumer food trends. If Buffett got it wrong, brands to generate 25% less in future earnings by either acquiring health food product manufac- Whole Foods, Walmart, Costco and Target in the there is likely not much hope for the rest of us. than it did just a few months ago. That’s a big turers or changing the products they produce, to U.S. are all keeping prices of processed foods at The North American marketplace’s unpre- drop in sales, and represents a lot of food. make them more natural. But the focus at Kraft historically low levels. Not much room, then, for dictability is the new normal. V

VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 11

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AARON BOWERS [8:30PM] MAX’S CHRIS AYRIES BLACK SWAN OPEN MIC & JAM W/MIKE SHOTTON & CARRIGAN ARMS|ACOUSTIC DUO [5PM] MILL ST. & 5 20 FINGERS [9PM] SERGIO ROMANO [7PM] CASBAH CAROLINE WILES, DUANE RUTTER, BOB JAZZ | BLUES | CLASSICAL MILLS HARDWARE ELLEVATOR, BASEMENT CARRIGAN ARMS|TIM HEBERT AND BORDERLINE GEORGE HAMILTON|OPEN JAM W/TIM NINEHOUSE DOIDGE, MIKE MCCURLIE, SEAN O’GRADY, VINCE DJ | ELECTRONIC | HIP HOP AUGUSTA HOUSE|DJ [10PM] REVOLVER [8PM] [2PM] AND MR. JAY & CHRIS WIERSMA [9PM] RINALDOI, BRENDA CHISHOLM, MICHAEL BIRTHELMER, CLUB 54|DJ KEITH POWERHOUSE CHECKERBOARD FLOORS [10PM] CASBAH BANDS FOR BOOBS [1PM] LOU DAWG’S CHRIS CHAMBERS [8:30PM] TOM BECKETT [7PM], THE CREEP SHOW [10PM] CLUB 77|DJ PUB FICTION UGLY DOG CAT ‘N’ FIDDLE JAMIE SHEA [4:30PM], ADAM O & RADIUS|MILESFROMNOWHERE. [7PM] CAT ‘N’ FIDDLE TIM GIBBONS & THE RADIUS DJ SPENCER VAN WYCK [10PM] REBEL’S ROCK FAMOUS FRAMUS & BETTY BOMB GUEST [9PM] SWAMPBUSTERS [9:30PM] SHAOLIN UNDERGROUND DJ BIGTRBL [10PM] 8PM] DICKEN’S|BRAD SUMAK, MIKE OLIVIERI (10PM) COME BY CHANCE BENSON AND THE HEDGES DJ | ELECTRONIC | HIP HOP 33 BOWEN DJ DR. DISC [6PM] SLYE FOX ROCKET 88 [8:30PM] 5 WEST|FIDDLESTIX DUO [3PM] [9:30PM] AUGUSTA HOUSE|OLD SCHOOL, HIP HOP W/DR. DISC SPURS JOHN ATLEE [3PM] LAZY FLAMINGO SONIC DEATH MONKEY CORKTOWN EAST COAST KITCHEN PARTY [6:30PM] [10PM] STONEWALLS THE MCFLYS [9:30PM] THE LIONSHEAD|SHARI & JONNY [9PM] DICKEN’S|MONA’S BOYS (10PM) SATURDAY 6TH THIS AIN’T HOLLYWOOD THE UN-TEENS, MAX’S SARAH MILLS DUNAS VERDES|OPEN JAM W/STEVE COLLETT BLANDLORD, RED ROOM [9PM] MILL ST. & 5 JASON SHEFFIELD [2PM] KARAOKE (9PM) ROCK | FOLK | COUNTRY ABSINTHE|DRAG SHOW W/GINA HAMILTON,DJ UPTOWN SOCIAL HOUSE JAMES ANTHONY BAND SLYE FOX KITCHEN PARTY [3PM] END ZONE PLAYBACK FRUITLOOP [10PM] W/GUESTS [2:30PM], DUELING PIANOS [9PM] THIS AIN’T HOLLYWOOD J-ROSE, YUNG BEAN, 148, FIRSTONTARIO CONCERT HALL|COLIN JAMES & TRIVIA ARTWORD ARTBAR|ROBIN BENEDICT, PAMELA WINCHESTER ARMS THOMPSON ROAD BAND T2 TIZZLE, MALTON X [8PM] FIRTH’S|PAT HEWITT BARTON TOUCHDOWN PUB KARAOKE FRIDAYS GARDNER, BRENNAGH BURNS, JOE TOWERS, AARON DI [8:30PM] 5 WEST|COLLUCI BROS [9PM] W/HELENA QUINN [9:30PM] CARLO [8PM] ZYLA’S MARTIN VERRAL [6PM] GALLEY PUMP|RAT ROD [9PM] JAZZ | BLUES | CLASSICAL BIG ED’S KARAOKE FRIDAYS W/GEORGE BUTLER [8PM], AUGUSTA HOUSE|LAUREN KNOWLES [10PM] GATOR TED’S|BLISS LOU DAWG’S CHRIS CHAMBERS [12PM], ROCKET & SATURDAYS W/SCARYOKE MONSTERS [10PM] BARRA FIONN|PAUL HAMPSON [8PM] JERSEY’S|JETS TO GROUND JAZZ | BLUES | CLASSICAL RICK [4PM] BLACK SWAN KARAOKE SATURDAYS W/MARK O BRASSIE THE SANJAYS [9PM] CASABLANCA|KELLY DEL FIACCO [6PM] MAX’S CHRIS AYRIES MASQUE WAYNE JANUS & GUESTS [5PM] [9:30PM], TRIVIA WEDNESDAYS [7:30PM] BUDDY’S|CHRIS CHAMBERS [8:30PM] CAVALLO NERO|HENRY STRONG DUO [6PM] MILL ST. & 5 THE PLAIDZ [9PM] STONEWALLS TRISH O’NEILL AND THE BLUES PIRATES BO’S KARAOKE EVERY OTHER TUESDAY [8:30PM] CARRIGAN ARMS|TRACEY GALLANT [2PM] EDENS|MICHAEL JOBITY [6PM] MILLS HARDWARE SAUKRATES, RE.VERSE [8PM] [3PM] BOBBIE’S KARAOKE SATURDAYS [7PM] CASBAH THE SISTERS EUCLID, DEEPS [6:30PM] MASQUE SHADES OF BLUE [9PM] POWERHOUSE OUTLAWS OF SHERWOOD [10PM] BOSTON PIZZA-BARTON TRIVIA MONDAYS W/HUB OF CAT ‘N’ FIDDLE BONNIE & THE MIDNIGHT MATTSON & CO. AUBREY WILSON TRIO [8:30PM] PRIME TIME IN2U [8:30PM] THE HAMMER. [7:30PM]. TRIVIA NIGHT LAST WEDNESDAY DREAMERS [9:30PM] THE WESTDALE Impulso Flamenco [8PM] MONDAY 8TH PUB FICTION ORANGEMAN OF EVERY MONTH /HUB OF THE HAMMER CLANCY’S OPEN JAM W/WHISKEY CHASERS [8PM] SLYE FOX NORTH SHORE BLVD [8:30PM] ROCK | FOLK | COUNTRY BOSTON PIZZA-MAIN ST. W. TRIVIA SECOND COME BY CHANCE BENSON AND THE HEDGES STONEWALLS MEAN BONES [9:30PM] DJ | ELECTRONIC | HIP HOP CAT ‘N’ FIDDLE NEW REBEL WESTERNERS [9:30PM] WEDNESDAY OF THE MONTH W/HUB OF THE HAMMER [9:30PM] CARRIGAN ARMS|BACA-RAINBOW DANCE [8PM] 33 BOWEN THE CORDUROYS [9PM] INNSVILLE REPEATLES [6PM] [7:30PM] CORKTOWN EDGE OF DYLAN [4PM], OUTER ROOMS, CASBAH DJ DMURK!,DJ MARK [10PM] THIS AIN’T HOLLYWOOD JO JO GUN, BAYWATER LAZY FLAMINGO KRISTAN NICHOLLS BOSTON PIZZA-WATERDOWN TRIVIA FIRST TUESDAY SUNDIVER, CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, FELKERS [9:30] CLUB 54|DJ KEITH - MAIN ROOM [10:30PM], DJ [9PM] OF THE MONTH W/HUB OF THE HAMMER [7:30PM] DICKEN’S|BLIND MULE (10PM) CESAR - LATIN ROOM [10:30PM] ZYLA’S SMASH NIGHT 4 [5PM] BRASSIE PUB TRIVIA TUESDAYS [8:30PM], KARAOKE END ZONE AGAINST 1 CLUB 77|DJ TUESDAY 9TH SUNDAYS [8:30PM] FIRSTONTARIO CONCERT HALL|RAFFI LOU DAWG’S DJ NEO [10PM] ROCK | FOLK | COUNTRY BREW CAFE TRIVIA MONDAYS [8PM] JAZZ | BLUES | CLASSICAL 5 WEST|ALTER EGO [9:30PM] SHAOLIN UNDERGROUND DJ BIGTRBL [10PM] BARBARA CAFFE|KELLY AND HEATHER DEL FIACCO ALE HOUSE OPEN STAGE W/BOOM BABIEZ [8PM] CADILLAC JAX KARAOKE THURSDAYS AND SUNDAYS GALLEY PUMP|MARK LAFORME [3PM] RADIUS DJ P DOT [10PM] [6PM] CAT ‘N’ FIDDLE TEN GALLON CAT [10PM] W/SCARYOKE MONSTERS [9PM], KARAOKE FRIDAY AND

12 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW

SATURDAYS W/BIGGIE ENTERTAINMENT [9PM] NEXT DATE APR. 15. [7:30PM] info and tickets visit thepearlcompany.ca. //The 11: Adam Christie, Christophe Davidson, Chanty plushie! Spiders Alive will be open late on the CALEDONIA LEGION KARAOKE FRIDAYS W/DJ WINDJAMMER KARAOKE TUESDAYS [8PM] Pearl Company, 16 Steven St. Marostica. • For info tickets visit yukyuks.com. final Friday evening of each month and the last SHELLEY WOBBLEY SCOTSMEN KARAOKE FRIDAYS JUST FOR LAUGHS: ROAD SHOW • Apr. 5, 8pm. //380 Brant St., Burl. Friday of this special exhibit. Join us for activities, CARRIGAN ARMS KARAOKE FRIDAYS W/RANDY AND W/CHEFBOYRDJ, KARAOKE SATURDAYS W/SEÑOR WES $65. • For tickets and info visit oakvillecentre.ca games, and everyone's favourite many-legged VICKI [9:30PM], TRIVIA MONDAYS W/KEN OAKLEY //OCPA,130 Navy St., Oakville creatures. Next date: Apr. 12, 5-8pm. • RBG EVENTS•• Speaker Series. Kevin MacKay: Human Evolution [7:30PM]][99pm] JUST FOR LAUGHS: ROAD SHOW • Apr. 10, CASBAH-MAIN HALL KARAOKE CABARET W/THE EYE UPCOMING 7:30pm. $5-$79. • For tickets visit HAMILTON PUBLIC LIBRARY • April is How To at a Crossroads: Ecological Collapse, or a Sustainable Future? Apr. 9, 7-9pm. Registration OF FAITH. 2ND & 4TH TUESDAY OF THE MONTH [9PM]| FirstOntarioPAC.ca //FOPAC, Partridge Hall, St. Month at Hamilton Public Library. • Keep Calm & required. • Jazz Brunch Concert Series. Enjoy a CAT ‘N’ FIDDLE|PUBSTUMPERS TRIVIA TUESDAYS CONCERTS Catharines Paint On.** Apr. 4, 2pm. //Binbrook. • Write a Blog.** Apr. 4, 7pm. //Terryberry. • Find a Grave. delicious brunch complemented by the tranquili- [7PM] MOTHERHOOD W/GIANNA LAUREN. APR. 12. MILLS KEVIN NEALON • Nealon is best known for his Apr. 5, 11am. //Central. • Use Digital SFX.** Apr. ty of the historic Rock Garden at the Royal CLANCY’S KARAOKE WEDNESDAYS [9PM] HARDWARE nine-year stint as a cast member of NBC’s Saturday Night Live, and has received critical 6, 10am, Apr. 27, 10am. //Central. • Make Botanical Gardens and the sweet sounds of live COACH & LANTERN TRIVIA TUESDAYS [7PM] SLEDGEHAMMER W/LUTHARO, PROFANER. APR. 13. acclaim for his role in the Showtime series, Speckled Eggs.** Apr. 6, 10:15am. //Ancaster. • entertainment. Reservations Required. Apr. 7: DICKENS KARAOKE THURSDAYS [9:30PM] ABSINTHE Weeds. • Apr. 23, 8pm. For tickets visit oakville- Make a Rock Photo Holder.** Apr. 6, 2:30pm. Aaron Bowers Trio. Apr. 14: Steve Burnside and END ZONE KARAOKE THURSDAYS W/ANNE [8PM], ORVILLE PECK APR. 14. CASBAH the Marquis. Apr. 28: Don Campbell. • HHYPE centre.ca. //Oakville Centre, 130 Navy St., //Westdale. • Relax and Move. Apr. 8, 6:30pm. KARAOKE SUNDAYS W/DOWN TO EARTH ENTERTAINMENT CANCER BATS APR. 19. ABSINTHE Event Night. Join us for a viewing of Sea of Life, a Oakville. • Apr. 24, 7:30pm. //FirstOntario //Sherwood. • Understand Homeopathy.** Apr. 8, [9PM] HENRY MANX APR. 20. PLAYHOUSE CINEMA documentary by local filmmaker Julia Barnes. Performing Arts Centre. For tickets visit 6:30pm. //Waterdown. • How to Festival. Apr. 9, 5 WEST|TRIVIA WEDNESDAYS W/JIMMY THE MIKE MAAS APR. 20. MILLS HARDWARE This event is geared toward high school students FirstOntarioPAC.ca //FOPAC, St. Catharines • 2pm. //Terryberry. • Write Creatively.** Apr. 9, QUIZMASTER [7:30PM] DIZZY APR. 21. CASBAH aged 13 through 18 years of age, and is a free LAUGH AT THE JUDGE 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY 3:30pm. //Westdale. Apr. 9, 4pm. //Ancaster. Apr. GALLEY PUMP KARAOKE SATURDAYS W/MIKE [9PM] CHIP TAYLOR APR. 23. CASBAH event, but pre-registration is required due to lim- SHOW • Featuring Jason Allen, Manolis 25, 4pm. //Terryberry. • Learn a Language.** Apr. GLADSTONE KARAOKE FRIDAYS /BIG STAR KARAOKE MAPPE OF APR. 25. MILLS HARDWARE ited seating. Apr. 4, 6-9pm. • Plant Faire. Find Zontanos, Krista McNaughton, Dan Brennan, 10, 10:30am. //Red Hill. Apr. 11, 2:30pm. [9PM] BODY DBL W/DIZZY SPELLS. APR. 26. MILLS unique plants for your home garden, and speak to Matthew Surina, Kev Sheeler, & Josh Bonus, //Terryberry. • Make a Terrarium.** Apr. 10, 2pm. GRAIN & GRIT|TRIVIA THURSDAYS [7PM] HARDWARE Hosted by Kristian Reimer. Apr. 7, 8pm. //25 passionate gardening professionals. Apr. 27, //Kenilworth. • Prevent Falls. Apr. 10, 2:15pm. 9am-2pm. Free admission-donations welcome. • HONEST LAWYER-KING ST. KARAOKE THURSDAYS SAINT LO APR. 27. MILLS HARDWARE Augusta St. //Sherwood. • Kids How-to Festival. Apr. 10, 4pm. For details, costs, tickets and to register for [9PM] DANKO JONES MAY 7. ABSINTHE LEVITY COMEDY CLUB & LOUNGE • Apr. 5-6: //Terryberry. • Write a Book. Apr. 10, 6:30pm. HONEST LAWYER-STONECHURCH CLASSIC Barry Taylor. Apr. 12-13: Jay & Eytan. Apr. 19-20: events, visit www.rbg.ca //RBG Centre, 680 Plains Rd. W., Burl. SIMPSONS TRIVIA FIRST TUESDAY OF EVERY MONTH Ben Miner. Apr. 26-27: Sandra Battaglini. • Every //Terryberry. • Write. Apr. 13, 9am. //Binbrook. • MISSISSIPPI QUEEN SOUTHERN SUPPER W/GERRY HALL [7:30PM] COMEDY | Wednesday is Amateur Night. • For tickets visit Write a Legacy Letter.** Apr. 15. //Ancaster. • SERIES • Features a set, southern menu paired LEVITY CLUB BIG SCREEN TRIVIA MONDAYS W/ HUB OF 905 BAR COMEDY HOUR • Every last Friday of the levitycomedyclub.com. //120 King St. W. Apply For A City Artist Grant.** Apr. 16, 7pm. with the musical talents of blues, and ‘American THE HAMMER. [7:30PM] RON JAMES...FULL THROTTLE • May 2, 7:30pm. //Turner Park. • Save on Household Expenses.** month, 9-10pm. Next date: Apr. 26. Free admis- Roots’ musicians. • Apr. 5: Alfie Smith. Apr. 6: LOU DAWG’S TRIVIA TUESDAYS W/HUB OF THE HAMMER $65. For tickets visit oakvillecentre.ca //Oakville Apr. 17, 2:30pm. //Terryberry. • Write a sion. //93 John St. S. Danny Brooks & Lil Miss Debi. Apr. 10: Fraser [8PM], LIVE BAND KARAOKE FRIDAYS [10PM] CLUB 54 • There’s live stand-up comedy every Centre, AEG Libherr Auditorium, 130 Navy St., Resume.** Apr. 17, 4pm. //Terryberry. • Write a Horror Story.** Apr. 17, 6:30pm. //Central. • Make Melvin & Bad Luck Woman. • Apr. 12: Tim MILLS HARDWARE ROCK ‘N’ ROLL TRIVIA APR. 23. Friday and Saturday at Club 54 preceding the Oakville Bastmeyer. • Apr. 18: Frank Cosentino. • Apr. 25: [8PM] Dance Party. Your host is Canada’s # 1 insult THE SECOND CITY IMPROV ALL-STARS • Chia Pets. Apr. 18, 3:30pm. //Dundas. • Declutter & Get Organized.** Apr. 18, 2:30pm. //Terryberry. James Anthony. • Apr. 27: Paul James. • Apr. 30: NOBODY’S PERFECT KARAOKE W/MIKE, comic – Ben Guyatt. • Apr. 5-6: Larry Smith. Apr. Second City’s greatest comedic minds throw Brant Parker. • May 10: Big Dave McLean, Raoul Apr. 23, 2pm. //Concession. • Apply Makeup Like WEDNESDAYS [7PM], SUNDAYS [5PM] 12-13: Bill Davern. Apr. 19-20: David Green. Apr. away their scripts, and their inhibitions, to battle Bhaneja. • $45 for meal and show. For more info, a Pro.** Apr. 18, 7pm. //Turner Park. • Become a PLUCKER’S TRIVIA WEDNESDAYS [8PM], KARAOKE 26: Ben Guyatt. Apr. 27: Dave Martin. May 3: Ben wits before a live audience and see who can get including menu details, visit mississippiqueen- FRIDAYS [9:30PM] Guyatt. May 4: Wes Zaharuk. May 10-11: Ben the biggest laughs. No topic is too sacred, no Lawyer.** Apr. 18, 7pm. //Terryberry. • Edit foods.com or call 905.526.0909. //635 King St. E. Guyatt. //3345 Harvester Rd., Burl. brow too low. And only the funny will survive. Best POUR HOUSE KARAOKE WEDNESDAYS Videos.** Apr. 20, 10am. //Central. • Meditate. THE WESTDALE EVENTS • Impulso Flamenco. COMEDY NIGHT AT STONEWALLS • Every other of all, the audience determines how the action THE POWERHOUSE LIVE BAND KARAOKE THURSDAYS Apr. 23, 6:30pm. //Ancaster. • Use Photoshop.** Apr. 5. • Creative Soul: Intimate conversations & Thursday. Hosted by Lisa Marie Ariel & Bret will unfold, making each night a unique experi- [9PM], TRIVIA MONDAYS (7:30PM)| Apr. 24, 3pm. //Valley Park. • Make Music with a unplugged performances with some of Canada’s Measor. Next dates: Apr. 4, 18, 8:30pm. //339 York ence where anything might happen. Apr. 13, 8pm. PRIME TIME KARAOKE THURSDAYS [8PM]] Garageband.** Apr. 24, 4pm. //Turner Park. • greatest songwriters. Host Canadian singer Blvd. For tickets visit thezoetic.ca //The Zoetic Theatre, RUMAK KARAOKE SATURDAYS [9:30PM] Make 3D Canvas Art.** Apr. 24, 1:30pm. songwriter Ian Thomas talks with Canadian COMEDY NIGHT AT RUST CITY BREWERY • 526 Concession St. ST. LOUIS BAR AND GRILL KARAOKE SATURDAYS //Waterdown. • Make Bad Art.** Apr. 29, 6:30pm. music legends on the creative process, inspira- Hosted by James Butler. Last Thursday of every SMILE • Stand up comedy featuring Ray W/DONNY OSBORNE [10PM]m] //Waterdown. • Digitize Your Memories.** Apr. tion and keeping one’s creativity alive. Apr. 25: month. //27 King William St. Lipowski, Mark Trinidad & Marito Lopez. May 5, SLYE FOX TRIVIA WEDNESDAYS [7:30PM], KARAOKE 29, 7:30pm. //Turner Park. • **Registration Sylvia Tyson. May 16: Murray McLaughlin. June THE EX-FILES ALL NEW MOTIVATIONAL COME- 6pm. $50. For ticket visit Ticketgateway.com THURSDAYS W/NICHOLAS BALKOU [8:30PM] required. For info visit hpl.ca 13: Dan Hill. $40/show or $100/series. • For info DY SHOW • Featuring Melanie Crawford and her //Lincoln Alexander Centre, 160 King St. E. ROYAL BOTANICAL GARDENS • Winter Exhibit: SPUR’S ROADHOUSE KARAOKE LAST FRIDAY OF THE and tickets visit thewestdale.ca //1014 King St. W. Ex-Husband/Co-Parent Warren. Apr. 27, 8:30pm. STAIRCASE THEATRE • Every Monday is Improv Spiders Alive! Explore amazing adaptations and MONTH. HAMILTON ALL STAR JAZZ BAND • Latin Night $25. For info and tickets visit Bootcamp at 7pm. Learn the basics of Improv in behaviours in our interactive exhibit, and join us STONEWALLS FRIENDS TRIVIA APR. 9. featuring Mike Murley with The Hamilton All Star thepearlcompany.ca. //The Pearl Company, 16 a fun and supportive environment. $8. • Every for daily programs for all ages. Through Apr. 14, PUBSTUMPERS TRIVIA WEDNESDAYS [6:30PM] Jazz Band. Apr. 6, 8pm. $25. • For tickets visit Steven St. Tuesday is Advanced Improv at 7pm. Watch our 10am-5pm. • RBG After Dark: Spiders Alive! Grab TRACIE’S PLACE KARAOKE EVERY NIGHT [7PM-2AM], THAT FILTHY SHOW • Featuring Jason Allen with main stage cast be put through their paces in this hamiltonallstarjazz.org. //Ancaster Firehall, 334 a drink, enjoy the music, and experience Spiders Wilson St. E. & FRIDAYS [5PM-2AM], KIDS WELCOME UNTIL 9PM Kristian Reimer, Jeol McCabe and more, hosted workshop/show format. $10. //27 Dundurn St. N. Alive after dark. On the first Thursday of each TWISTED TAPS KARAOKE THURSDAYS [10PM] by David DJ Roy. Apr. 8, 8pm. PWYC//This Ain’t YUK YUKS BURLINGTON • Apr. 5-6: Ian Sirota, SALSA, SI SATURDAY: SALSASOUL PRODUC- month, RBG's winter exhibit is transformed into a TIONS • Featuring live music from Cassava Latin UPTOWN SOCIAL HOUSE TRIVIA MONDAYS Hollywood, 345 James St. N. Steve Dylan. Apr. 12-13: Rob Ross, Dave Atkinson, nightlife experience like no other. Join us for pub [7:30PM]| THE HI-LARRY-US SHOW • Join Larry Smith and Bryan Hatt. Apr. 19-20: Dom Pare, Andrew Barr, Band. Apr. 6. 8pm: Beginner Rueda de Casino games, food and cocktails, unique programming, Salsa lesson w/Vlad Aranda. 9pm-1am: Dance WEST END KARAOKE WEDNESDAYS [10PM] his guests for stand-up, live cartooning, games Anthony Mlekuz. Apr. 26-27: Chuck Byrn, Scott and special guests. Next date: Apr. 4, 7-10pm. party w/Cassava and DJ Steven White. $20 WINCHESTER ARMS TRIVIA EVERY OTHER MONDAY and prizes, music, sketches, improv, puppets and Faulconbridge, Laura Leibow. May 3-4: Jeff Paul, Tickets required. • Pyjama Party. Put on your adv/$25 door. For tickets visit bruha.com. //O HOSTED BY MICHAEL O’NEILL-HUB OF THE HAMMER. more. Last Friday of every month, 8pm. $20. For Amber Harper-Young, Jarrett Campbell. May 10- P.J.s and bring along your favourite critter VIEW LIVE MUSIC INDEX EMAIL [email protected] DEADLINE: Monday at 4pm ABSINTHE 38 KING WILLIAM 905.529.0349 COPPER KETTLE 312 DUNDAS ST. E., WATERDOWN 905.690.3696 LAZY FLAMINGO 19 HESS S. 905.527.0567 SNOOTY FOX 1011 KING W. 905.546.0000 ACOUSTIC BLEND CAFE 86 HOMEWOOD AVE. 905.522.1323 CORKTOWN TAVERN 175 YOUNG 905.572.9242 LEANDER BOAT CLUB 50 LEANDER DR. 905.527.7377 SOUS BAS 145 MAIN ST. E. 000.000.0000 AIR FORCE CLUB 128 KING ST. E., DUNDAS 000.000.0000 CULANTRO 537 MAIN ST. E. 905.777.0060 L’ETRANGER 109 JAMES ST. N. 905.906.2401 SOUTHCOTE 53 534 GARNER RD., ANC. 289.239.8888 ALE HOUSE 802 UPPER GAGE AVE. 289.755.0518 THE DICKENS 423 ELIZABETH, BURL. 905.333.4991 THE LIONSHEAD PUB 137 JOHN S. 905.522.7090 SPICE FACTORY 121 HUGHSON ST. N. 905.662.1112 ARMY NAVY CLUB 96 MACNAB ST. N. 905.527.1000 THE DIPLOMAT 43 KING WILLIAM ST. 905.523.4343 LITTLE GRASSHOPPER 37 BARTON ST. E. 905.393.7641 SPURS ROADHOUSE 188 BARTON ST. E., STONEY CREEK 905.522.1227 ARTWORD ARTBAR 15 COLBOURNE 905.912.9083 THE DOORS PUB 56 HESS S. 905.540.8888 LOU DAWG’S SOUTHERN BBQ 116 GEORGE ST. 289.389.3227 THE STAIRCASE 27 DUNDURN N. 905.529.3000 AUGUSTA HOUSE 17 AUGUSTA 905.525.0367 DUNAS VERDES 253 JAMES N. 905.522.4818 LUKAYA CAFE 592 UPPER WELLINGTON ST. 905.383.2533 STONEROAD’S 533 CONCESSION ST. 905.545.8816 AVLYN’S LOUNGE 627 KING ST. E. 905.522.5111 EDENS 1548 MAIN W. 289.389.6493 THE MASQUE 13 HESS S. 289.700.5595 STONEWALLS 339 YORK BLVD. 905.577.0808 BARBARA CAFFE 387 BARTON ST., STONEY CREEK 905.664.7316 EMERSON 109 109 EMERSON 289.425.2005 MATTSON & CO. 225 LOCKE ST. S. 905.525.0225 THE STUDIO 1 SUMMERS LANE 905.546.3100 BAROQUE 69 JOHN S. 905.393.6233 THE END ZONE BAR & GRILL 1305 MAIN ST. E. 289.246.9663 MAX RESTO LOUNGE 102-2180 ITABASHI WAY, BURL. 905.336.1500 SUPREME BAR & GRILL 5111 NEW ST., BURL 905.333.5282 BARRA FIONN 1505 GUELPH LINE, BURL. 905.319.3466 ESSENCE 422 BARTON ST. E. 289.396.5116 MELANHEADZ VAPE LOUNGE 303 YORK BLVD. 289.527.1420 TAILGATE CHARLIE’S 69 JOHN S. 905.526.6666 BARTON TOUCHDOWN 912 BARTON ST. E.. 905.544.6031 FAIRWEATHER BREWING CO. 5 OFIELD RD. 289.426.2983 MILL ST. & FIVE 324 DUNDAS ST.E., WATERDOWN 905.690.1058 TAPS BAR & GRILL 128 PARKDALE AVE. N. 905.393.8805 THE BINBROOK GRILL 3020 BINBROOK RD. 905.692.0909 FIDDLE & FOX 999 UPPER WENTWORTH ST. 905.385.8555 MILLS HARDWARE 95 KING E. 905.777.1223 THIRSTY CACTUS 2 KING ST. E., DUNDAS 905.627.8488 THE BLACK BULL 2475 MOUNTAINSIDE DR, BURL. 905.332.4282 FIONN MACCOOLS 2331 APPLEBY LINE, BURL. 905.332.9990 MODRN NIGHTCLUB 15 HESS ST. S. 289.389.3561 33 BOWEN 33 BOWEN ST. 289.396.8865 BLACK SWAN 4040 PALLADIUM WAY, UNIT #1, BURL. 289.313.9999 FIONN MACCOOLS 119 OSLER DR. 905.627.4729 MULBERRY COFFEE HOUSE 193 JAMES ST. N. 905.963.1365 THIS AIN’T HOLLYWOOD 345 JAMES N. 289.396.3911 BO’S SPORTS BAR 419 DUNDAS ST., WATERDOWN 905.690.3133 FIRSTONTARIO CENTRE 101 YORK 905.546.4040 MUSTANG’S 301 FRUITLAND RD., STONEY CREEK 905.643.7679 TIN CUP 1831 WALKER’S LINE, BURL. 905.315.7727 BOBBIE’S BAR & GRILL 2965 HOMESTEAD DR. MT HOPE 289.759.2002 FIRSTONTARIO CONCERT HALL 1 SUMMERS LANE 905.546.3100 THE PEARL COMPANY 16 STEVEN 905.524.0606 TOAST WINE BAR 10 JOHN ST. N. 289.389.5480 THE BRASSIE 73 WILSON W. 905.304.8935 FIRTH’S CELTIC PUB 543 UPPER JAMES 905.318.4277 PEPPERWOOD BISTRO 1455 LAKESHORE RD., BURL 905.333.6999 TRACIE’S PLACE 592 UPPER JAMES 905.538.0795 BREW CAFE & BAR 22 BARTON ST. E. 905.962.0782 5 WEST BREWPUB & KITCHEN 3600 DUNDAS ST., BURL. 905.315.8782 THE PHEASANT PLUCKER 20 AUGUSTA 905.529.9000 TURTLE JACK’S 1180 UPPER JAMES 905.389.6696 THE BROWN BARREL 1515 UPPER OTTAWA 905.575.4606 THE FOOL AND FLAGON 2255 BARTON E. 905.573.7430 PLUCKER’S 335 PLAINS RD. E., BURL. 289.337.9454 THE VICAR’S VICE 2251 RYMAL E., STONEY CREEK 905.560.1586 BUDDY’S ROADHOUSE 1360 KING E. 905.545.1456 THE GALLEY PUMP 365 WENTWORTH ST. N. 905.522.5225 THE POUR HOUSE 1115 FENNELL E. 905.389.6602 THE UNDERGROUND 41 CATHARINE ST. N. 905.527.7488 BURLINGTON PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE 440 LOCUST 905.681.6000 THE GASWORKS 141 PARK N. 905.719.6396 THE POWERHOUSE 21 JONES 905.930.7381 UPTOWN SOCIAL HOUSE 1900 WALKERS LINE, BURL. 905.331.4700 CAPRI RESTAURANT 25 JOHN N. 905.525.7811 GATOR TED’S 1505 GUELPH LINE 905.336.3133 PRIME TIME SPORTS BAR 218 KENILWORTH N. 905.544.6488 WATERDOWN LEGION 79 HAMILTON ST. N., WDWN 905.689.6112 CARNEGIE GALLERY 10 KING ST. W. DUNDAS 905.627.4265 THE GEORGE HAMILTON 152 KING W. 905.381.9820 PUB FICTION 1242 GARNER RD. W., ANC. 905.304.9990 THE WEE DRAM 1831 MAIN ST. W. 905.920.8180 CARRIGAN ARMS 2025 UPPER MIDDLE RD., BURL 905.332.6131 GET TOGETHER BAR & GRILL 253 KENILWORTH N. 905.544.1950 PURPLE PEAR 946 BARTON E. 905.527.7179 WEST END PUB 151 EMERSON 905.524.3655 CASABLANCA WINERY INN 4 WINDWARD DR., GRIMSBY 905.309.7171 GLADSTONE TAVERN 1385 MAIN E. 905.393.9842 THE QUEEN’S HEAD 400 BRANT, BURL 905.632.1300 THE WESTDALE 1040 KING ST. W. 905.577.0074 THE CASBAH 306 KING W. 905.741.7625 GOWN & GAVEL 24 HESS ST. S. 905.523.8881 RADIUS 151 JAMES ST. S. 905.393.1658 WINDJAMMER BY THE LAKE 5353 LAKESHORE RD. BURL 905.632.2333 THE CAPITOL BAR 973 KING E. 289.389.1001 GRAIN & GRIT BREWERY 11 EWEN RD. 905.769-1320 REBEL’S ROCK IRISH PUB 537 KING E. 905.777.1771 THE WING 3210 HOMESTEAD DR., MOUNT HOPE 289.280.0157 CAT ’N’ FIDDLE 174 JOHN S. 905.525.3855 HAMILTON AIR FORCE ASSOC. 128 KING ST. E., DUNDAS 905.628.6697 THE REC ROOM 2732 BARTON E. 289.389.1395 WINCHESTER ARMS 120 KING ST. W., DUNDAS 905.627.8016 CAVALLO NERO 370 WILSON ST. E., ANC. 905.648.8888 HAVN 26 BARTON ST. E. 000.000.0000 ROCK ON LOCKE 320 CHARLTON AVE. W. 905.522.0602 WOBBLEY SCOTSMAN 309 CROCKETT 905.389.8224 CIRCA GALLERY 112GEORGE 905.921.1237 HAMILTON LEGION BR. 163 435 LIMERIDGE 905.387.4515 R.C.L. BRANCH 622 12 KING ST E, STONEY CREEK 905.662.4171 YE OLDE SQUIRE 550 FENNEL AVE. E. 905.388.7770 CLANCY’S PUB 4490 FAIRVIEW, BURL. 905.333.6805 ARMY & NAVY VETERANS SOCIETY 95-96 MACNAB ST. N. 905.527.1000 R.H.L.I. CLUB 1353 BARTON E. 905.545.4611 YE OLDE SQUIRE 875 MAIN ST. W. 905.528.7822 CLIFFORD BREWING CO. 398 NASH RD. 905.560.5444 HONEST LAWYER 110 KING ST. E. 905.522.5297 ST. LOUIS BAR AND GRILL 450 APPLEBY LINE, BURL 905.333.8118 YE OLDE SQUIRE 1508 UPPER JAMES ST. 905.575.7821 CLUB 54 3345 HARVESTER ROAD, BURL. 905.634.5454 HONEST LAWYER 1070 STONECHURH RD. E. 905.385.9797 SASSO 1595 UPPER JAMES ST. 905.526.4848 YE OLDE SQUIRE 3537 FAIRVIEW, BURL 905.333.6627 CLUB 77 77 KING WILLIAM ST. 905.527.7488 INNSVILLE 1143 HWY. 8,STONEY CREEK 905.643.1244 SEEDWORKS 126 CATHARINE ST. N. 905.523.7425 THE ZOETIC 526 CONCESSION 905.902.5683 COACH & LANTERN 384 WILSON E., ANC. 905.304.7822 INTO THE ABYSS 119A LOCKE ST. S. 905.518.7609 SHAOLIN UNDERGROUND 229 JAMES ST. N.. 289.389.9525 ZYLA’S 299 JAMES ST. N. 905.818.7141 COLLECTIVE ARTS BREWERY 207 BURLINGTON ST. E. 289.426.2374 JAYS SPORTS BAR 558 UPPER GAGE 905.574.4664 SHAWN & ED BREWERY 65 HATT ST., DUNDAS 289.238.9979 COOLERS SPORTS BAR 558 UPPER GAGE 905.574.4664 JERSEYS BAR & GRILL 1450 HEADON RD. 905.319.0525 SHOELESS JOE’S 1183 UPPER JAMES 905.383.5637 COME BY CHANCE 78 MELVIN AVE. 905.547.3994 KING’S LANDING 1900 KING ST. E. 905.544.7766 SLYE FOX PUB 4057 NEW, BURL 905.639.3900

VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 13

Leao Café & Restaurant, 746 Barton St. E. 5 AT THE FIRST CHAMBER MUSIC SERIES: bike decorating stations, a parade, and perform- Apr. 6. • For more info visit centre3.com. features Teresa’s newest stained glass creations BURLINGTON PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE • MUSIC OF CANADIAN WOMEN • Mercer Duo. ances by the An Instrument For Every Child //Centre3 Gallery, 173 James St. N.• as well as some of the best regional artists on a Burlington Teen Tour Band. Apr. 7, 2pm, 7pm. • Apr. 13, 3pm. $20 adults/$15 seniors/$5 students, Jambassadors. In the evening features an exclu- DUNDAS VALLEY SCHOOL OF ART • DVSA 49th two month rotating basis. • Open Weds-Sat Classic Albums Live: Elton John’s Greatest Hits. unwaged/Free under 12. Free parking and fully sive performance by the Original Blues Annual Art Auction. Over 1,500 original works will 11am-5pm, Sun-Tues by appointment. For info Apr. 18, 8pm. • Legends of Motown. Apr. 20, 8pm. accessible. Tickets online at BrothersTM Band, and Steve Strongman. May 5. be on display in all mediums – paintings, pastels, visit teresaseaton.ca, 905.510.5030. //652 Spring • Burlington Remembers Juno 75. May 6, universe.com/stringextravangazavii //First For more info visit hamiltonmusiccollective.ca drawings, prints, photography, sculpture, pottery, Gardens Rd., Burl. 6:30pm. • American Icons. May 9, 8pm. • For Unitarian Church, 170 Dundurn St. S. //Collective Arts Brewing, 207 Burlington St. E. glass, fibre art, jewellery and more. Bidding TRUE NORTH GALLERY/THE MUSIC GALLERY • tickets and more info visit burlingtonpac.ca. JAZZ CONNECT BIG BAND • Down With The begins Apr. 4. • dvsa.ca //DVSA, 21 Ogilvie, On display and available for sale are over 100 one- //BPAC 440 Locust St. 905.681.2551 Count: The Music of Count Bassie. Apr. 13, 8pm. Dundas•• of-a-kind original, and rare limited edition art by FIRST ONTARIO PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE • $15 adv/$20 door. For tickets visit bruha.com. ARTS•• EARLS COURT GALLERY • Exhibits: Where The both world famous, and not so famous musi- • Gryphon Trio. Apr. 7, 2pm. //Recital Hall. • ART IN THE WORKPLACE • The Atrium at Flowers Grow. Donna Fratesi & James cians, whose creativity is equally evident in their Gordon Lightfoot. Apr. 11-12, 8pm. //Partridge //The Spice Factory, 121 Hughson N. MONSTER JAM • See 8 awesome Monster Jam McMaster Innovation Park is transformed with Gummerson. Until May 4. • For more info visit art as it is in their music. Access to the gallery is Hall. • Pops!4-The Force Is With Us! Apr. 13, pieces from over 150 local artists, and feature earlscourtart.com //Earls Court Gallery 215 by invitation or appointment only. //Griffin House- 7:30pm, Apr. 14, 2:30pm. //Partridge Hall. • trucks including Grave Digger, two female driv- ers, plus two new trucks debut in Hamilton. Apr. artist Deb Mack. Until June 26. Free admission, Ottawa N.• Arts Culture & Innovation Business Centre, 23 Classic Albums Live-Prince. Apr. 17, 7:30pm. week days 8am-6pm. artintheworkplace.ca //175 EMPIRE TIMES BUILDING • Ken Justus. Griffin St., Waterdown• //Partridge Hall. • Ms. Lisa Fischer & Grand 13-14. Tickets start at $15. For info and tickets visit monsterjam.com or ticketmaster.ca Longwood Rd. S. 905-667-5500 Paintings. Abstract-impressionist work. A special WEST HAMILTON ARTISTS TOUR • Visit 17 loca- Baton. Apr. 25, 7:30pm. //Partridge Hall. • ARTCRAWL • Second Friday night of every month //FirstOntario Centre, 101 York Blvd. pop-up during Art Crawl. May 10. //41 King tions featuring 42 acclaimed artists working in Masterworks 6-Snap Shots. Apr. 27, 7:30pm, Apr. @ 7pm, all galleries in the area display their new OAKVILLE CENTRE FOR THE PERFORMING William St. various fine craft and visual art mediums from 28, 2:30pm. //Recital Hall. • Cinephenia. Apr. 30, art. For more info visit jamesstreetnorth.ca• Hamilton and the surrounding region. May 11-12, ARTS • The Wanted. Apr. 13, 8:30pm. • Anda FACTORY MEDIA CENTRE • For more info visit 7:30pm. • Songs of the City. May 1, 7pm. ARTFUL MOMENTS • The Art Gallery of 10am-5pm. For info visit westhamiltonartists- //Partridge Hall. • Art of Time Ensemble- Union. Apr. 18, 8pm. • Lisa Fischer. Apr. 24, 8pm. factorymediacentre.ca or call 905.577.9191. //228 Hamilton’s Artful Moments program for persons James St. N. tour.com. //Locke Street and Strathcona neigh- Doghouse Roses. May 2, 7:30pm. //Partridge • Musical Paris-Oakville Symphony. May 4, 8pm, with dementia exhibition. Until Apr. 26. //David bourhoods Hall. • 2019 St. Catharines Arts Awards. May 3, May 5, 2pm. • For more info visit THE GALLERY ON THE BAY • Iris McDermott Braley Health Sciences Centre, McMaster (new acrylics & collages). Until Apr. 14. • gallery- WORKERS ARTS & HERITAGE CENTRE • 7pm. //Recital Hall. • Peter Pan. A Chorus oakvillecentre.ca //OCPA,130 Navy St., Oakville University, Community Garden and David R. Lee Events: Artist Material Fund. The most important Niagara presentation. The enchanting lavish film onthebay.com. 905.627.4265 //231 Bay N. TOMORROW’S HEADLINERS • Features top stu- Model Railroad (1st floor), 100 Main St. W. HAMILTON ARTISTS INC. • Events: Pressure element of the exhibition Division of Labour is fantasy Peter Pan, accompanied by a live choral dents from the Greater Hamilton Area and Halton ART GALLERY OF BURLINGTON • Exhibits: putting talk into action. Materials collected from soundtrack curated by Artistic Director Robert Points. Gentrification and the Arts in Hamilton. A Region. Apr. 13, 8pm. $14 adv/$18 or 2 or $35 at Sanctuary: Chari Cohen. Until Apr. 21. • In Search two-day program exploring how gentrification the artists’ construction and from surrounding Cooper. May 4, 7:30pm. //Partridge Hall. • I’ve Got door. For tickets visit acousticblendcafe.com of Self: Denise McKay. Until Apr. 28. • All Guild cultural institutions will be given away to artists The Music In Me. May 5, 4pm. //Partridge Hall. • has been unfolding in Hamilton, and the arts //Acoustic Blend Cafe, Melrose United Church, 86 Show: Myths, Legends, and other Stories. Apr. community’s role in that process. Through per- and individuals in the community, rather than For tickets visit FirstOntarioPAC.ca //FOPAC, St. Homewood Ave. 20-May 19. • Permanent Collection Corridor: finding their way into the local landfill. People will Catharines formances, talks, discussions, and youth-led ini- THE SANDERSON CENTRE FOR THE PERFORM- Quebec: A Different Drummer. Ongoing. • Events: have the ability to take away any and all material A SINATRA SONGBOOK • Featuring crooner tiatives, Pressure Points will examine the sys- ING ARTS • Jim Clayton Quartet. Apr. 15, 8pm. • Family Sunday Open Studio. Every Sunday, 1- from the installation as well as other items, Roger Wyatt and his band, Robert Horvath temic roots of urban injustices and economic dis- Chubby Checker. Apr. 17, 2pm. • Ashley 4pm. Free. All welcome. • For more info visit art- parity, and forge points of solidarity between including equipment and fabrications slated for (pianist and music director), Atilla Darvas (stand MacIssac. Apr. 17, 8pm. • The Ultimate Garth galleryofburlington.com //AGB, 1333 Lakeshore affected populations and their allies. Apr. 12, 7- disposal from other cultural institutions in the up bassist), Mark Polimeni (drums and percus- Brooks Tribute. Apr. 18, 7:30pm. • Classic Albums Rd. 11pm., Apr. 13, 10:30am-5pm. Must pre-register. area. Apr. 10-20. • Exhibits: Division of Labour: sion). Apr. 7, 2:30pm. $25. For tickets call Live-CCR Chronicle Vol. 1. Apr. 25, 8pm. • For info ART GALLERY OF HAMILTON • Exhibits: Gallery • Exhibits: Winter Garden. Mere Phantoms. Until Suzanne Carte, Ghost of a Dream, Rodrigo HGz, 905.845.4681 or contact [email protected] and tickets visit sandersoncentre.ca //88 Level One • Above the Fold: New Expressions in May 11. • What We Know To Be True. Zahra Basil AlZeri, Alejandro Tamayo. Until Apr. 20. • //West Plains United Church, 549 Plains Rd. @., Dalhousie St., Brantford Origami. Until May 26. Tickets required. • The Baseri, Yasmeen Nematt Alla, and Arshia Salesi. Permanent Galleries. Nine to Five: A History of Burl. NADAH EL SHZALY CONCERT • Experimental Living Room: unfolding... Until May 12. • Until May 11. • Domestic Brew: Craft Beer Office Work. • Custom House History & The Hall SOLI DEO GLORIA • Sunday afternoon concerts. of Hamilton Labour. • Punching the Clock: Egyptian singer, songwriter, multi-instrumental- Hamilton Now: Object. Until May 20. • Level Two Garden. Ongoing. • For more info visit theinc.ca Apr. 7, 4pm.: Soprano Christina Austin, Baritone Working in Canadian Factories from the 1840s to ist, and producer reinvents the popular music of • Kim Adams: Bruegel-Bosch Bus. Permanent //155 James St. N.• Johnathan Kirby, pianist Roger Bergs. • Apr. 14, the 1980s. • Gateway to the Workers City & Made her homeland from the early 20th century, incor- display. • The Jean and Ross Fischer Gallery. HAMILTON CONSERVATORY FOR THE ARTS • 4pm. :Clarinettist Stephen Pierre with an ensem- in Hamilton Industrial. • For more info, tickets, porating electronics, free jazz, and noise while Around the Bay Road Race: 125 Years Strong. Events: HCA Concert Series: Michael Lewin. Apr. ble of signers and instrumentatlists in a vespers 28, 2pm. • Exhibits: Famous Living Artists F.L.A. or to register for events visit wahc-museum.ca pushing all of the above to new sonic and har- Until May 5. • Milli: A Celebration of Style. Apr. 13- service featuring low-church music of the English Collective. JudyBlue Anderson, Liz Bates, Vicki //WAHC, 51 Stuart St. monic frontiers. Apr. 19. //Factory Media Centre, Feb. 9. • Admission to this gallery is free courtesy Restoration. • Free. Donations gladly accepted. Ferras, Leif Peng, Wendy Peng, Sylvia Simpson. YOU ME GALLERY • Tom Lowe. "4:20 20 07 2018" 228 James St. N. of Orlick Industries. • AGH Talks: Paper Trails: //Central Presbyterian Church, 165 Charlton Ave. Until Apr. 18. • For more info visit hcarts.ca. 905- (Paintings and couch from Magill Street). Until THE SEVEN LAST WORDS OF CHRIST FROM THE Three Paper Based Exhibitions. Apr. 6, 4pm. Free. W. 528-4020. //126 James St. S. Apr. 7. Finissage & Artist Walk & Talk: Apr. 7, 2pm. CROSS • By César Frank. The choir and soloists • Curator Talk: Nolan Bryant on Milii: A THE NEW VISION JAZZ VESPERS • Vocalist HAMILTON PUBLIC LIBRARY • Central Library • Gallery hours: Wed-Sun 12-5pm. of Central Presbyterian Church with Orchestra Celebration of Style. May 2, 6pm. Free. • Tours: youmegallery.com //330 James St. S.• Sarah Jerrom with the Adrean Farrugia Piano 4th Floor Great Art For Great Lakes. Lake Ontario under Dr. Roger Bergs. Apr. 19, 8pm. Free- Enjoy a free guided tour by one of our specially Trio w/Jill McKenna (acoustic bass) and Chris Portrait is a community art project that consists freewill offering. //Central Presbyterian Church, trained Docents. For individuals and groups Wallace (drums). Apr. 7, 4:30pm. • Avery Raquel of filled, transparent columns with mud samples 165 Charlton Ave. W. smaller than 10. Tours last approximately 40 min- THEATRE| with the Adrean Farrugia Piano Trio w/Clark collected along Lake Ontario’s shoreline. The CRYSTAL JOURNEY: A GRAND CONJUNCTION • utes. Every Wednesday, Saturday, Sunday & sculpture was created by local artist Nicole ANCASTER COMMUNITY THEATRE • Play On by Johnson and Chris Wallace. May 12, 4:30pm. Crystal Journey performs with Paiste Planet Statutory Holiday at 1:00 pm. • Free Friday Clouston. As the mud is exposed to light, the Rick Abbott. Apr. 25-27, May 2-4, 8pm. $22, //The Music Hall. New Vision United Church, 24 gongs, Yamaha concert vibraphone, Persian san- Night/Tours & GameShowGame. On the first microbes present in the mud will begin to grow, includes refreshments. For tickets contact Main St. W. toor, quartz singing bowls and harmonica. Apr. Friday of every month, admission to the Gallery forming vibrant bands on the surface of the 289.489.2556. //St. John’s Parish Hall, 37 Halson THE HAMILTON PHILHARMONIC ORCHESTRA • 20, 6:30. pm. $25/person, $40/family. To reserve Level One exhibitions is free from 4-8pm, with sculpture. Ongoing. • Central Library Gallery4 St., Ancaster Mainstage/FirstOntario Concert Hall Concerts: free guided tours with an AGH docent at 6pm. Annex Apr: Cheryl-Ann Hills. May: Janice Kovar. • BINBROOK LITTLE THEATRE • Skin Flick by Apr. 27: Ravel & Stravinsky. May 11: Mahler’s contact 905.920.5683. //The Zoetic Theatre, 526 Concession St. GameShowGame is an custom built immersive Gallery Barton Apr-May: Fuzzy Mall. • Gallery Norm Foster. Middle-aged couple Daphne and Fifth. • Seniors’ Talk & Tea. Enjoy a late morning Rollie and their friend Alex have found them- HENRY MANX CONCERT • Apr. 20, 8pm. $40. For comedy fuelled happening which takes place in Dundas Apr-May: Kyle Jeffers. • Gallery Stoney tea and scrumptious treat while exploring the selves out of work and out of luck. So when they tickets visit playhousecinema.ca. //Playhouse the AGH Living Room. Starts at 7pm. • Kids & Creek Apr-May: John Pingree. • Gallery Turner stories behind the famous composers and music Families: Family Fun Days: Apr. 28. Family Time Park Apr-May: Jennifer Hicks. come across a mistakenly rented X-rated movie, featured in HPO’s mainstage concerts. Join Cinema, 177 Sherman Ave. N. they get the idea to make their own porno film for MCMASTER LIVELAB CONCERT SERIES • Tour: 1pm-1:25pm. Ever wondered what your KIRKLAND LYNCH STUDIO GALLERY • Original Composer-in-Residence Abigail Richardson- stained glass designs by Siobhan Lynch, oil paint- some quick cash. The only problem is none of Featuring Barry Livingston Group. Jazz. Apr. 27, child thinks about art? In these mini-tours of the Schulte for these fascinating talks. Then, make ings and drawings by Peter Kirkland. • Gallery them want to star in it themselves. As if on cue, your way to the orchestra level of the Great Hall 8pm. $20-$30. For tickets visit livelab.mcmas- second floor exhibitions, our expert docents will show kids and parents how to look carefully and Hours:Tues-Sat 11am-5pm. • sio2creations.com, Jill, a birthday telegram messenger, accidentally for a behind-the-scenes peek at an HPO rehears- ter.ca. //1280 Main St. W. arrives on their doorstep and their cast is set. Apr. think creatively. Please gather in the lobby. peterkirkland.com //654 Spring Gardens Rd., al. Apr. 26, 11am: Ravel & Stravinsky. May 10, CHORUS HAMILTON: AT THE MOVIES TRILOGY • 26-27, May 3-5, 10-11. • For tickets contact tick- Hands-On Art Making Fun: 1:30-3:30pm. Join our Burl. 11am: Mahler’s Fifth. • Gallery Series. 60-minute Chorus Hamilton’s final concert of the season will MCMASTER MUSEUM OF ART • Exhibits: [email protected] or online at binbrookthe- performance is hosted by Composer-in- artist instructors to create a pop-up installation feature the best of current and past movie musi- Counterpoint: SUMMA 23019 @ The Cotton atre.ca. //Memorial Hall, 26 Hwy. 56, Binbrook Residence Abigail Richardson-Schulte and the inspired by the exhibitions on view. Free for AGH cals, including Hairspray, Mama Mia, West Side Factory. Graduating McMaster BFA Student BURLINGTON PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE • musicians and starts with a Curator’s presenta- Story, Singing in the Rain, and a special number Members/ Non-members $5 per family of 2 Bobs & Lolo: Sing, Dance & Play! Apr. 5, 6:30pm, tion of the gallery’s current art exhibition. Stay for adults and up to 4 children. • For details visit art- Exhibition. This year it is held at The Cotton from Wayne’s World. Apr. 28, 3pm. $25. For tick- Factory, 270 Sherman Ave. N. Apr. 6-19. Opening Apr. 6, 11am. • For tickets and more info visit the post-concert reception and meet the musi- galleryofhamilton.com //123 King W. burlingtonpac.ca. //BPAC 440 Locust St. ets visit chorushamilton.ca, email chorushamil- reception, Apr. 6, 11am-3pm. • Artist Garden: The cians and gallery curators. Apr. 9, 7:30pm. $15. 905.527.6610 905.681.2551 [email protected] or call 905.318.9381. //St. Paul’s Boat Project/everythingwillbefine. Canadian //Grimsby Public Art Gallery, 18 Carnegie Lane, United Church, 29 Park St., Dundas B CONTEMPORARY • Hosts monthly exhibitions DRURY LANE THEATRE • Monty Python’s Grimsby. • For more info, registrations and tick- artist Ernest Daetwyler will build a site-specific LIVE LIKE THERE’S NO TOMORROW • An inspir- featuring established and emerging Guest Spamalot. May 3-June 2. • For tickets visit drury- ets visit hpo.org| Artists. Openings are held the second Friday of work in the Museum’s Artist Garden this summer. ing & thought-provoking evening in support of lane.ca //2269 New St., Burl. LADYBIRD ANIMAL SANCTUARY 5TH ANNUAL each month during Hamilton’s Art Crawl: 7pm- He will transform pieces of driftwood into a boat Emmanuel House Hospice featuring talk with DUNDAS LITTLE THEATRE • Calendar Girls. A SOIREE: CELEBRATING 1,000 RESCUES • 11pm. • bcontemporary.wordpress.com //226 form, embedded with a steelcut text message, renowned Palliative Care expert, Dr. BJ Miller and group of English ladies tiring of landscapes Featuring Luke Doucet and Melissa McClelland, James N. 289.389.3949 • creating an environment for both active engage- decide to pose nude for a fund raising calendar. performance by JUNO award winning blues Whitehorse, Lisa Winn, Janine Stoll. Also includ- BOLD ARTISTE • Featuring the original artworks ment and reflection. Until 2020. • Antiquities. The Apr. 26-27, May 3-5, May 9-12. For tickets email artist, Harrison Kennedy. Full steak and lobster ed in the ticket price will be complimentary local of Nancy Winlove-Smith. boldartiste.com //Bold Museum's Togo Salmon Gallery has been reded- [email protected] or call dinner included. May 2, 6:30pm dinner. $125. For craft beer and wine, gourmet vegan fare, and a Artiste, 6 Bold St.••• icated as a space to showcase exclusively 905.627.5266. //Garstin Centre For The Arts, 37 tickets vistgoodshepherdcentres.ca. //Carmen’s silent auction. All proceeds from this event will CARNEGIE GALLERY • Main Gallery Exhibits: McMaster's collection of antiquities. Ongoing. • Market St. S. Dundas. Banquet Centre, 1520 Stone Church Rd. E. help to save the lives of animals in need in the Carnegie Craft RetroACTIVE. This special exhibi- Susan Detwiler: Seed Pack. Ongoing. • The THE FIRST ONTARIO PERFORMING ARTS CEN- ACOUSTIC BLEND CAFE CONCERT: MAHIMA • Hamilton community and beyond. Apr. 11, tion celebrates excellence in fine craft through Vishniac Coin Collection - Numismatic Traditions TRE • The Incredible Adventures. Apr. 14, 11am, May 4, 8pm. $14 adv/$18 or 2 for $35 door. For 7:30pm. 19+. Early bird $125/Regular $150. For the work of seventeen artists in various media from Antiquity to Present. Ongoing. • Admission 2pm. //Robertson Theatre. • Kid Koala’s. A spe- tickets visit acousticblendcafe.com //Melrose tickets visit canadahelps.org //Shawn & Ed who have all been recognized as award winners to all exhibitions and events is free. For more info cial interactive show brings audience members United Church, 86 Homewood Ave. Brewing Co., 65 Hatt St., Dundas in past Carnegie Craft Biennial Shows. Apr. 5-28. call 905.525.9140x23241 or visit into the sound making process. Each person is MATT ANDERSEN & THE MELLOTONES • With ARTESCAPE • Culture for Kids in the Arts' (CKA) Opening reception: Apr. 5, 7-9:30pm. Events: museum.mcmaster.ca //McMaster Museum of seated at stations equipped with a turntable, Amy Helm. May 5, 8pm.Licensed/All ages. For effects box and a small crate of colour coded vinyl Board of Directors present an evening of merri- Lecture: An Attraction to Abstraction. An illustrat- Art, 1280 Main W.• tickets visit eventbrite.ca. //The Music Hall. New records. Through subtle coloured lighting ment, food (La Piazza Allegra & Cake and Loaf) ed talk by Regina Haggo. Apr. 23, 7-8pm. $10 MIXED MEDIA/KING W. BOOKS • The art of Paul Vision United Church, 24 Main St. W. changes in the room, the audience is cued to play and libations (Collective Arts) at its 2nd annual member/$12 non-member. • Carnegie Concert Allard (Instagram @pushingwait). Through Apr. 6. MUSIC AND MOTION • A full day itinerary, activi- along, becoming an integral component to the fundraising event. DJ, silent auction, escape Series: J.P. Cormier. Mar. 30, 8pm. • For tickets //1060 King St. W. ties will kick off with the 9th annual Mike’s Ride in soundtrack as the story unfolds. Apr. 18-20, mul- room, tapas, cash bar, cocktail dress code.19+. and info visit carnegiegallery.org //The Carnegie NOOK CAFE • Ted Basciano. “Excuse My support of Bike for Mike, followed by an afternoon tiple times. //Robertson Theatre. • For tickets Apr. 13. $20 adv, until 4pm Apr. 13/$25 door. For Gallery, 10 King W., Dundas, 905.627.4265 Crapulence”. Watercolour Pencil Drawings. Apr. of family-friendly, music and wellness-inspired visit firstontariopac.ca or call 905.688.0722. ticket visit eventbrite. //Hamilton Conservatory CENTRE3 FOR PRINT AND MEDIA ARTS • 5-May. 3. //6 Bold St. activities including an ‘Instrument Petting Zoo’, TERESA SEATON STUDIO & GALLERY • Gallery //FirstOntario Performing Arts Centre, various For the Arts, 126 James St. S. Exhibits: Lecture:Love S.O.S. Steven Beckly. Until venues, St. Catharines 14 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW

HAMILTEN FESTIVAL • A collection of 10-minute ANCASTER FILM FEST • Wild Rose. Apr. 8, 1pm, Wigglers. Provides preschool aged children (2-4 are delivered to the food banks at Good Shepherd, group discussions, and literature on support ven- plays written and directed by local playwrights in 4pm, 7:15pm. • For details visit ancasterfilm- yrs) an opportunity to explore the environment Mission Services St. Matthew’s and Salvation ues. Find hope and knowledge among peers on the Greater Hamilton community. This short, fun fest.ca or facebook. //Ancaster Silver City through adult-facilitated and child-directed activ- Army, Suggested food items: Baby food, tinned your journey to wellness. Free to attend. Second format allows artists, both emerging and estab- (Meadowlands Plaza) ities by engaging in this themed drop-in program Meat, Peanut butter, cereal, pasta, tomato sauce, Tuesday of each month 7-9pm @ St. Joseph’s lished, to challenge themselves by creating ZOETIC THEATRE • Dirty Dancing. Sing-Along, that includes story time, songs, discovery and pet food. For more info call 905.527.0432, email Hospital, Charlton Campus, Juravinski Tower, engaging performance pieces in a condensed for- Quote-Along, Dance-Along. Apr. 27, 7pm. • For creation centres. Wednesdays, 10am-11:30am. [email protected] 2nd Floor, Miller Theatre; third Tuesday of every mat. Apr. 5-7. $10/show, at the door or online at tickets visit thezoetic.ca //Zoetic Theatre, 526 Apr. 10: Rabbits. Apr. 17: Here Comes Peter HAALSA TALK • Achieving Heart Health Through month 2-4pm @ St. Peter’s HARRRP, 705 Main St. eventbrite.ca. For more info and schedule visit Concession St. Cottontail. Apr. 24: Butterflies and Bumblebees. • Exercise for All Ages - Maureen MacDonald. E., and the fourth Tuesday of each month 2-4pm hamiltenfestival.com //The Staircase Theatre, 27 Early Morning Risers. Start your Saturday morn- Despite the constant stream of media informa- @ First Pilgrim United Church, 200 Main E. Dundurn St. N. ing with company, coffee and treats and let the tion on fitness and health, most people do not NAR-ANON MEETING • Family support group. MURDER MYSTERY THEATRE • Join us for a 4 LITERARY kids get to work playing in an interactive & know what the optimal exercise program for “Never alone-hope in Hamilton”. We carry the course meal while enjoying our Murder Mystery (DUB)POETICALLY SPEAKING • A spoken word exploratory environment. Saturdays, 7:30-9am. • them is as they progress through different stages message of hope throughout the world to those Theatre. May 11, 25, June 8. Doors open at evening hosted by Klyde Broox includes a line-up Open Tues-Sat., 9:30am-3:30pm. For info visit of life. Dr. MacDonald discusses research inform- affected with addiction of someone near to them. of poets, plus an open-mic to follow. Apr. 10, 8pm. 6:30pm, event starts at 7pm. • Call for reserva- www.hamilton.ca/museums //1072 Main St. E. ing practical, feasible, safe and effective exercise All welcome. Mondays at 7pm, except holidays. PWYC. //Artword Artbar, 15 Colbourne St. tions at 905.643.1244 //The Innsville Restaurant, HAMILTON MILITARY MUSEUM • Originally Sir programs to encourage heart health for all ages. //HARRRP Community Centre-St. Peter’s, 705 GRIT LIT AND LITLIVE • Featuring Laura Kooji, Main St. E. & St. Clair. St Clair entrance, lower 1143 Hwy. 8, Stoney Creek Marilyn Gear Pilling, C. Fong Hsiung, H. B. Allan MacNab’s gatehouse, the museum features Apr. 6, 8pm. Free. Everyone welcome. Details at OAKVILLE CENTRE FOR THE PERFORMING many Canadian military history exhibits. • For haalsa.org. //Rm. 1A1, Ewart Angus Centre, level. Hogan, Catriona Wright, and the GritLit writing PINBALL FOR HUMANITY • Monthly Charity ARTS • Shrek The Musical. Suitable for ages 4 contest winner. Apr. 7, 7:30pm. Free. //The info visit hamilton.ca //610 York Blvd. McMaster University Children's Hospital bldg., and up. Apr. 10-13, 7:30pm, Apr. 13-14, 2pm. • For HAMILTON MUSEUM OF STEAM & TECHNOLO- 1200 Main St. W. Tournament in support of Habitat for Humanity Staircase, 27 Dundurn St. N. Hamilton happening the last Sunday of every more info and tickets visit oakvillecentre.ca HAMILTON YOUTH POETRY SLAMS • Every GY • Doing It Justice: The Steam Museum in 3D. HAMILTON INTERNATIONAL FOLK DANCE //OCPA, Willson Auditorium, 130 Navy St., A free exhibit of Jennifer Kaye’s photography. CLUB • Apr. 19: No dance on Good Friday. • For month starting 5pm. $5 registration purchases 10 fourth Sunday of the month, 6-9pm. $5. All ages. tokens, and Arcade will be donating those pro- Oakville For details visit facebook.com/hamiltonyouthpo- Until Sept. 8. • For more info visit more info visit hamiltonfolkdance.ca. //St. Paul’s ceeds to Habitat for Humanity - Hamilton. Plus, PEARL COMPANY • Celebrating the arts. Three ets /Spice Factory, 121 Hughson St. hamilton.ca/museums //900 Woodward Ave. Anglican Church, corner of King St. W. and evenings of theatre, visual arts and live music. LITCHAT THE LITERARY SALON • Featuring 905.546.4797|| Haddon Ave., Westdale. we suggest donating what you can above the $5 Apr. 11-13. • Regresstival! Entertainment for your John S. Porter and Susan McCaslin on Why H.M.C.S. HAIDA NATIONAL HISTORIC SITE • HAMILTON NATURALISTS’ CLUB EVENTS • to help with costs of IFPA registration and to inner child. Apr. 19. • Visiting Mr. Green: A Play by Thomas Merton Matters Now. Apr. 9, 7:30pm. Info For info visit hmcshaida.com. //Pier 9, 658 Reptile Rendezvouz. A talk with Alison Forde, donate more to Habitat for Humanity. For more Jeff Baron. Mr. Green, an elderly, retired dry at litchat-hamilton.blogspot.com //LINC class- Catharine St. N. Senior Ecologist with SNC-Lavalin. Despite hav- info contact [email protected] cleaner, wanders into New York traffic and is room, 4th floor, Central Branch, Hamilton Public IRELAND HOUSE • Sp’egg’tacular Easter. ing the greatest diversity of reptiles in Canada, it //Arcade, 107 George St., 2nd floor. almost run down by a car driven by Ross Library. Features Easter egg trail, Easter bunny, chil- can be a challenge finding them in Ontario. Our PSYCHIC SANDEE • Readings while you dine. Gardiner, a 29-year-old corporate executive. The POETRY READING • Featuring Tamaracks: dren’s entertainment, petting zoo (11:30am- elusive and sometimes stigmatized snakes and Mondays, 6-9pm and Thursdays, 5:30-8:30pm. young man is given community service helping Canadian poetry for the 21st century contribu- 2:20pm), and Easter themed games and crafts. turtles face many challenges themselves. What's //Stonewalls, 339 York Blvd. the recent widower once a week for six months. tors. Apr. 7, 2- 5pm. //Artword Artbar, 15 The historic house will be open for tours, with hot being done to help them? Alison will share her SERVE OUR CITY COMMUNITY DINNER • Every cross buns being made on the 1830s Rumford knowledge and experiences from the field with a What starts as a comedy about two men who do Colbourne St. Wednesday night at 6pm. Free. //Crossfire VICTORIA HETHERINGTON MOONCALVES BOOK hearth and hot chocolate being served from the little help from her reptile education ambassador, not want to be in the same room together Assembly, 458 King St. W. (between Pearl & LAUNCH • With Chris Bailey, Owain Nicholson & wood stove in the summer kitchen. A small ven- Noodle. Over the past decade, Alison has worked Locke) becomes a gripping and moving drama as they Jamie Tennant. Apr. 5, 7pm. //Mixed Media/King dor market will be on site featuring local, hand- with and studied Ontario's reptiles on a personal get to know each other. May 2-5, 9-11. • For tick- TASTES OF ANCASTER • Sample foods from the W. Books, 1060 King St. W. made items and desserts. Apr. 13, 11am-3pm. and professional level, most recently surveying best Ancaster Restaurants and a wide selection ets and info visit thepearlcompany.ca //16 Steven Admission for children participating in the Easter for Massasauga Rattlesnakes in the Georgian Bay St. of regional wines and brews. Apr. 25, 6-9pm. $50 egg hunt is $10, all accompanying family and area. She loves to bust myths and misconcep- includes all food, beverage and entertainment. ROOK’S THEATRE • Mary’s Wedding. Mary and MUSEUMS friends are free. For info and tickets visit muse- tions about snakes and has helped countless Charlie's romance unfolds against the backdrop For tickets visit snap.com. All proceeds to charity. BATTLEFIELD HOUSE MUSEUM & PARK • umsofburlington.ca. //Ireland House Museum, individuals overcome their fears through educa- //Marquis Gardens, 1365 Sandhill, Ancaster of the First World War. Mary's Wedding takes 2168 Guelph Line tion. Apr. 8, 7-9pm. //RBG. • Wildfowl at Friends of Battlehouse Museum Lecture Series: TRIVIA FOR NATURE • Join the Hamilton audiences from the big skies of the prairies to the WESTFIELD HERITAGE VILLAGE • Good Friday Slimbridge Wetlands SW England. Join HNC Bird Apr. 9, 7:30-9pm. • Open Tuesday to Sunday, 12 Naturalists' Club for a fun evening of general triv- epic battlefields of France. May 9-11, 16-18, 8pm. noon to 4 pm. • battlefieldhouse.ca //Battlefield at Westfield. Enjoy traditional spring-themed Study Group as they host James Lees for a free ia. The Hamilton Naturalists’ Club is raising funds $25. For tickets visit bruha.com. //The HARRRP, House Museum & Park, 77 King W., Stoney games, crafts, activities and demonstrations. Apr. talk about a Wildfowl and Wetlands Trust proper- to support the outdoor education program which 705 Main St. E. Creek, 905.662.8458| 19, 12:30-4pm. • For more info and tickets visit ty in Southwestern England. Apr. 15, 7-9pm. takes students from the downtown core out into THEATRE ANCASTER • Spring Musical Revue: CANADIAN WARPLANE HERITAGE MUSEUM • westfieldheritage.ca //Westfield Heritage Village, //Burlington Seniors Centre. • All talks are free nature. Tickets are $15/person or $80 per team of Divas. The theatre will be supercharged with Spring Home & Garden Show. Apr. 5-7. • 1049 Kirkwall Rd., Rockton and all are welcome. For more info visit hamilton- eight and there will be 3 rounds of trivia with womanpower and the songs from over 30 divas – Dragstrip Memories. Nostaglic race Cars. Apr. 14. WHITEHERN HISTORIC HOUSE & GARDEN • nature.org. Burlington Seniors Centre, 2285 New prizes for the winning team. You can purchase you won’t be able to stay in your seat. Apr. 5-6, 12- • Open 9am-5pm daily. For tickets and more Open Tues-Sun, noon-4pm. $7 adults/$6 seniors, St. or RBG, 680 Plains Rd. drinks and snacks or bring your own. Apr. 27, 13, 8pm, Apr. 7, 2pm. $37/$32 senior/$17 student. more info visit warplane.com //Canadian youth/$5 children/infants free/Family $20. //41 HAMILTON NO. 1 TOASTMASTERS • Build con- 7pm. To register please call 905.524.3339 or • For tickets visit theatreancaster.com or call Warplane Heritage Museum, 9280 Airport Road, Jackson St. W., 905.546.2018 fidence, communication & leadership skills. Mondays 7-8:30pm. For info call 905.648.9503, email [email protected]. //St. Paul’s 905.304.7469. //Old Firehall Arts Centre, 334 Mount Hope contact [email protected], or visit on Church, 29 Park St. W., Dundas Wilson St. E., Anc. DUNDAS MUSEUM & ARCHIVES • Exhibits: facebook: @hamiltonno1 //Downtown YMCA, 79 TWISTED STITCHES FIBREARTS GATHERING • THEATRE AQUARIUS • Disney’s Freaky Friday-A Dundas Inspired: A History of Visual Arts. Until COMMUNITY James St. S. Paddy Cline room. Weekly drop-in community stitching circle every New Musical. When an overworked mother and Apr. 27. • Drawing at the Museum II. An exhibition ACCESS TOASTMASTERS • Do you want to learn HAMILTON VIDEO FILM MAKERS • Do you make Thursday 5-10pm. Coffee, tea, snacks. Details her teenage daughter magically swap bodies, of Drawings & Paintings. Until Apr. 4. • Cradled in the art of public speaking and self presentation? Videos? Want to meet with other Video enthusi- and calendar available on FB @twistedstitche- they have just one day to put things right again the Valley: The Stories of Dundas. Ongoing. • Do want to have fun? New members are always asts? Hamilton Video Film Makers meeting are shamont //Mud & Suds Craftwerks, 88 Ottawa St. before mom’s big wedding. Freaky Friday, a new Events: Dundas Historical Book Club. If you love welcome. Every Wednesday, 7pm. //St. Joseph's the first Thursday of every month at 7pm. For info N. musical based on the celebrated novel by Mary history and love reading or just enjoy a good read Immigrant Women's Centre, 182 Rebecca St. visit hvfm.ca. //Knights of Columbus Hall, 222 VINTAGE MARKETPLACE • A 2-day shopping Rodgers and the hit Disney films, is a hilarious, consider joining our Historical Book Club. We (corner of Rebecca & Ferguson) Queenston Rd. event, selling and celebrating antique, vintage, contemporary update on an American classic in meet the first Thursday of every month from 6:30- ALIENATED GRANDPARENTS ANONYMOUS HAMILTON WATERFRONT OUTDOOR RINK-PIER SUPPORT GROUP • We meet on the 2nd and 4th retro and vintage-inspired collections and servic- which a mother and daughter really see what it is 8:00. Books are selected by the members them- 8 • Weather permitting the rink will be open. This es. Entertainment includes daily drag shows at to be a family and experience each other’s lives selves, and range from biographies, historical lit- Tuesday of every month year round. We often is for pleasure skating only-no hockey! Warm up have guest speakers. Free. //422 North Shore Rd. 12pm & 2:30pm, and DJ Donna Lovejoy. Local first-hand, if only for a day. Apr. 24-May 19. • For erature to historical fiction and classics. Apr. 11: room available inside Williams Fresh Cafe. The flavours provided by Bon Temps. Apr. 6-7. For info tickets visit theatreaquarius.org or call By Nightfall by Michael Cunningham. • dundas- E., Burl. rink is free and skate and helmet rentals are ANCASTER LIONS CLUB SPRING CRAFT AND visit thevintagemarketplace.ca //Hamilton 905.522.7529. //190 King William St. museum.ca. //139 Park St. W., Dundas available for a fee. Mon-Fri, 5-10pm, Sat-Sun, Convention Centre GIFT SHOW • Features local crafters with their THEATRE BURLINGTON • A Bad Year For DUNDURN NATIONAL HISTORIC SITE • 10am-10pm. For info visit WEEKLY DROP-IN FOR PWUD • Keeping-Six, unique crafts. Drop by the Lion’s Cafe for a cof- hamiltonwaterfront.com //Pier 8 Tomatoes. Fed up with the pressures and Experience a guided tour of this 40-room Hamilton Harm Reduction Action League wel- THE KING’S WAY OUTREACH CENTRE EASTER demands of her acting career, the famous Myra Italianate-style villa built in the 1830’s on fee, lunch or snack. Proceeds raised support comes you to the Central Branch of the Library DINNER • Easter dinner, gifts for everyone, live Marlowe leases a house in the tiny New England Burlington Heights; the former site of a fortified local community organizations. Apr. 19, 10am- Tuesdays from 3-5 for food, music, art, discus- music. Apr 13, 12-3pm. For info call 905.308.9991. hamlet of Beaver Haven and settles down to write military encampment established by the British 4pm. $5, children under 12 are free. For info visit sion, and planning on how to respond to the //First Pilgrim United Church, 200 Main St. E. her autobiography. A hilarious comedy by John in 1813. • Adults $11.50/Seniors, youth ancasterlions.ca. //Ancaster Fairgrounds, Merritt ongoing Opioid and homelessness crisis. A non- Patrick. Apr. 12-13, 19-20, 26-27, 8pm, Apr. 27, $9.50/Children $6/Infants Free/Family $30. For Hall, 630 Trinity Rd. S. LAST CHANCE RUMMAGE SALE • St Stephen’s property and building has been sold. Clothing for judgmental, peer-run space. [email protected] 2pm. • For tickets call 905.6399.7700 or visit the- more info visit hamilton.ca. Open Tues-Sun, noon ARTS AND CRAFTERNOONS • A crafty happy or keepingsix.org. atreburlington.on.ca //Theatre Burlington’s to 4pm. //610 York Blvd. 905.546.2872 hour sponsored by Collective Arts. Great tunes. every day and boutique, jewellery, collectables, Drama Centre 2311 New Street, Burl.| ERLAND LEE MUSEUM • For info visit Supplies on hand. Thursdays, 4-7pm. Free. //This household etc. Too many bargains to list, includ- fwio.on.ca/erland. //552 Ridge Rd., Stoney Creek. Ain’t Hollywood, 345 James St. N. ing items that won’t be travelling with us to our VOLUNTEERS FIELDCOTE MEMORIAL PARK & MUSEUM • BURLINGTON MANSION TOASTMASTERS • Gain new home. Apr. 13, 9am. //St Stephen United DANCE Church, 2258 Parkway Dr., Burl. HAMILTON FALCON WATCH • Seeking volun- Events: Quilting Workshops. Participants (age confidence, leadership skills and learn the art of teers for the on street watch when the Peregrine BURLINGTON PERFORMING ARTS CENTRE • LIBERATION SEDER • The Jewish Liberation 18+) of all skill levels are welcome to engage in public speaking. Everyone is welcome and the Falcon chicks start to fly. Join us for more info on Canadian Contemporary Dance Theatre: Teasing Theology Institute's very own Rabbi Lucia Pizarro this make-a-quilt project. Offered on Fridays, 5- first three visits are free. Every Wednesday, 7:30- Apr. 25, 2pm and for the orientation session May Gravity. Apr. 5, 7pm. • For tickets and more info and Kohenet in training SandraLaya Ruch will co- 9pm, and Mondays 9:30am-12pm. Drop in for a 9:30pm. For more info visit mansiontoastmas- 25, 2pm. Info at falcons.hamiltonnature.org. visit burlingtonpac.ca. //BPAC 440 Locust St. ters.com //Cumis Room, Paletta Mansion, 4250 lead year's Seder in Hamilton. Our Seder is dedi- few hours or stay for the whole session. Sewing cated to a free Palestine and the liberation of all //Hamilton Central Library, 55 York Blvd. 905.681.2551 machine in working order is required. $60. For Lakeshore Rd. E., Burl.| DISCUSSION ON WHO ARE YOU? • Meditate to peoples. Apr. 22, 6:30-9:30pm. $20. For tickets more info contact [email protected]. • visit jelithin.ca. //New Vision United Church, 24 Ontario Archaeological Society Monthly Lectures. Traditional Rosicrucian Vowel Sound Intonations AUDITIONS FILM in the King's Chamber of The Great Pyramid of Main St.W. Apr. 18, 7:30-9pm. • For info visit hamilton.ca. THEATRE ANCASTER • Theatre Ancaster is look- 2019 HAMILTON VOICES OF PALESTINE FILM Khufu. Participate in a ritual for sending Peace to MENTAL HEALTH RIGHTS COALITION • Need to Open Tues-Sat, 1-5pm. //64 Sulphur Springs Rd., talk about mental health or addiction issues? Talk ing for 8 character actors of all ages for the SERIES • What Walaa Wants. Following Walaa the planet. Refreshments. Hosted by Rosicrucian Anc. to someone who has been there and has formal from 15-21, with an intimate POV, What Walaa Order, AMORC. Apr. 7, 2pm. For info contact September production of Agatha Christie's The GRIFFIN HOUSE • The Griffin House is recog- training in Peer Support. 11am-4pm, Mon-Thurs, Wants is the compelling story of a defiant young [email protected]. //Unity Hall, 64 Mousetrap. This is a play - not a musical, so no nized as an important Canadian Black History noon-4pm Friday. • 905.545.2525, mental- girl navigating formidable obstacles, learning Wellington St. N. singing or dance is required. May 7 & 8 and pos- site. Visit this preserved early 19th century home, healthrights.ca //Suite 103-100 Main St E. which rules to break and follow, and disproving FOOD BANK DONATIONS • An easy way to donate sible callbacks May 9. For full details visit the- set on a hilltop overlooking the beautiful Dundas MOOD MENDERS SUPPORT SERVICES • the negative predictions from her surroundings non-perishable items to our local food banks. A atreancaster.com/auditions. To arrange a time, Valley. Explore the history of Enerals Griffin and Offering coping skills and educational forums for and the world at large. Apr. 9, 7pm. Donations 24/7 drop off box is located at 440 York Boulevard, please email [email protected] other early Black settlers, and enjoy a walk along individuals living with Depression or Bipolar welcome. For info visit jelithin.ca //Big Hall, New nearby trails. //733 Mineral Springs Rd., Ancaster in front of Midas (corner of Locke and York) Half a Disorder, and their family members or support viewmag.com Vision United Church, 24 Main St. W. HAMILTON CHILDREN’S MUSEUM • Wednesday block east of the Mustard Seed co-op. Donations persons. Featuring guest speakers, facilitated

VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 15 [FILM] by ALBERT DESANTIS first unveiling, and its mom being taken away, the a chance to stand out with some small funny kids name it Dumbo. Amazingly, they discover if moments. Dumbo snorts a feather he can fly with his giant ears. The script is not very deep as the characters are sort DUMBO This attracts the attention of the wealthy park of one note. On the plus side, Max gets a lot of great owner, Vandevere (Michael Keaton) who wants quips which lets DeVito get to mug entertainingly, Max’s circus at his park Dreamland with Dumbo as perpetually grumbling that the circus is going broke. the star being ridden by the famous and beautiful When Max is meeting with Vandevere a wayward French trapeze artist Colette (Eva Green). But Max monkey in his desk goes haywire so Max slams it and his circus performers are sidelined and, shock- shut and Vandervere asks if he has a monkey in his ingly, trapped at Dreamland park is Dumbo’s moth- drawer and Max says smoothly “Only for emergen- er. The kids want to reunite the elephants but cies”. Seeing DeVito and Keaton together again in a Vandevere thinks that would be bad for business. Tim Burton film is a hoot as they played Penguin and The CGI to make Dumbo come to life is impres- Batman in Tim Burton’s Batman Returns, except now sive although the big ears and distractingly human the good guy and bad guy roles are flipped. emotive eyes are a bit freaky. None of the animals Although, from a certain point of view, Batman was talk so he’s not much of a character, he just kind of a villainous billionaire who antagonized the chirps. There are a few nods to the original cartoon, self–made entrepreneur Penguin so maybe it isn’t the iconic Pink Elephant scene happens here with that different. Keaton as Vandevere gives a highly elaborate soap bubbles although it isn’t as trippy. energetic performance. Although it makes thematic Dumbo carried a magic feather in the original car- sense that in the end he is done in by his own greed toon but apparently that would be unrealistic if a and hubris which sends the park crashing down, it’s supposedly live–action looking elephant carried a kind of stupid that he would set it aflame just because feather using his trunk like a fist. Instead Dumbo he’s angry. It makes a character who has been por- snorts the feathers in this movie to literally get high. trayed as fairly shrewd seem randomly stupid. Maybe not the best message to send kids. Dumbo won’t make anyone forget the animated DUMBO IS THE first of four live action remakes Disney heart, and yet another overtly bombastic orchestral Even though the elephant is supposedly the lead classic although this is a decent remake. The big per- is putting out this year. Next is the Will Smith as an Danny Elfman score that sounds like basically every the movie spends way more time on humans. Maybe formances of Keaton and DeVito help a lot. Burton oddly designed Genie in Aladdin, later there’s The other Burton movie score. But the title character is the daughter is the lead because she talks to Dumbo makes it all look very spectacular and his assured Lion King which really isn’t live action (the grass and endearing for a dopey looking elephant. the most as the brother sort of hangs out in the back- direction dresses up a rote script. Still the same damn some tress may be real) but the animals are made to A father who lost his arm in World War I, Holt ground. Farrell’s Holt is broken down by his experi- music in every Burton movie at this point is getting look realistic–ish, and finally there’s another install- (Colin Farrell), returns to his kids, Milly (Nico ence in the war although he makes for a likable nauseating. While this remake doesn’t soar, it some- ment of the Sleeping Beauty inspired live action spin Parker) and Joe (Finley Hobbins). Their home is a paternal figure who cares about the elephant. With times has small bursts of joy in flight and that is good off Maleficent. Anyway, the opening salvo of this travelling circus led by the penny–pinching Max an outsized French accent, Green’s trapeze artist enough. V remake quartet is director Tim Burton’s Dumbo and Medici (Danny DeVito) and since Holt can’t ride bounces from sidekick for the bad guy to hero for no he delivers a very good looking movie. Most of horses anymore, Max tells Holt to look after their real reason but Green sells it. DeVito’s Max seems DUMBO Burton’s quirkiness is shaved away aside from maybe newest acquisition, a very pregnant elephant. Max like a huge part of the story early on but the movie ###$$ a stray frantic monkey or a few motormouthed con- dreams of the impending birth leading to fame and sort of forgets about Max once they hit Dreamland Director: Tim Burton men and otherworldly elegant CGI. Basically, it is fortune yet it turns out the baby elephant is a odd as Vandevere takes over. The cadre of circus freaks Starring: Colin Farrell, Michael Keaton late era Tim Burton movie which is more FX than looking runt with giant ears. After a disaster in it’s Max rolls with look visually interesting and each has and Danny DeVito

16 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW

CAPTAIN MARVEL ##$$$ (Directed by Anna Boden, Ryan Fleck, runs 124) Captain Marvel is, 20 movies in, the first female-led title in the MCU. As if trying to rewrite that shameful MOVIES&SHOWTIMES history, the movie goes back in time to the mid- 90s and retroactively positioning Brie Larson's PLEASE NOTE: LISTINGS ARE SUBJECT TO CHANGE Carol Danvers as the original Avenger. I know, I SCHEDULE IN EFFECT APRIL 5 — APRIL 11, 2019 Please call ahead or check online to avoid disappointment. know. Captain America was introduced as "The 10:00; MON 3:50, 10:00 SHAZAM! 3D () FRI 4:10, 7:20, 10:20; SAT-SUN First Avenger" and he's WWII-era. But Carol met CINE STARZ UPPER CANADA PLACE Nick Fury first! Samuel L. Jackson, de-aged by 460 Brant, Burlington CAPTAIN MARVEL 3D () FRI-SUN,TUE-THURS 1:00, 4:10, 7:20, 10:20; MON-THURS 7:20, 10:20 CGI, returns as a young Fury, showing up on the cinestarz.ca 1:20, 7:20; MON 12:50, 6:45 SPACE JAM () SAT 11:00 scene when former Earthling but now super-pow- BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (PG) FRI, MON-THURS DUMBO () FRI 12:50, 3:40, 4:10, 6:50, 9:35; SAT US () FRI 4:50, 7:40, 9:35; SAT-SUN 2:00, 4:50, ered Carol crash lands in his district from outer 1:00, 3:00, 5:10, 7:10, 9:35; SAT-SUN 12:45, 3:00, 11:00, 12:50, 3:40, 4:45, 6:50, 9:35; SUN- 7:40, 9:35; MON-WED 7:40, 9:35; THURS 7:40, space. Ho-hum superhero theatrics ensue. 5:10, 7:15, 9:40 TUE,THURS 12:50, 3:40, 4:10, 6:50, 9:35; WED 10:05 Larson has very little to work with in a movie that A DOG’S WAY HOME (G) FRI 3:20, 5:05; SAT-SUN 1:00, 3:40, 4:10, 6:50, 9:35 WONDER PARK () FRI 4:00; SAT 11:20, 1:40, 4:00; hangs Carol's emotional arc on her sex. Instead 11:00, 1:00, 3:20, 5:25; MON-THURS 5:40 DUMBO 3D () FRI 1:10, 7:10, 10:00; SAT 1:40, SUN 1:40, 4:00 of treating feminism as a structuring principle to FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY (PG) FRI, MON- 7:30, 10:15; SUN-WED 1:10, 7:10, 10:00; THURS WONDER PARK 3D () FRI-SAT 6:15; MON-WED jump off from - like Wonder Woman so winning- THURS 1:00, 5:25, 7:30, 9:30; ; SAT-SUN 11:00, 1:10, 7:10, 9:50 6:50 ly did - Captain Marvel can't seem to see beyond 7:40, 9:40 FIVE FEET APART () FRI,SUN,TUE-THURS 1:40, WWE WRESTLEMANIA 35 () SUN 7:00 the idea that Carol is a woman. It effectively GREEN BOOK (PG) FRI, MON-THURS 1:00, 3:05; 4:40, 7:20, 10:05; SAT 1:40, 4:40, 7:40, 10:20; MON makes feminism a target - a goal to be achieved SAT 5:20, 7:20; SUN 5:10, 7:20 10:05 SILVERCITY MOUNTAIN in ways that feel more self-congratulatory than ISN’T IT ROMANTIC (PG) FRI, MON-THURS 3:25, HELLBOY () THURS 7:00, 10:00 795 Paramount Dr., Hamilton 905.560.0239 cineplex.com progressive. (R.S.) 5:25, 9:35; SAT-SUN 11:00, 9:40 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN THE LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART (G) FRI WORLD () FRI,TUE-WED 1:50, 4:30; SAT 11:15, CAPTAIN MARVEL () FRI 4:20, 10:15; SAT 1:20, DUMBO: THE IMAX 2D EXPERIENCE 1:00, 3:20, 5:20, 7:35; SAT-SUN 11:00, 1:00, 3:10, 4:15; SUN 4:30; MON 12:30, 2:55; THURS 1:10 4:20, 10:15; SUN 4:20, 9:40; MON-WED 10:10; ##$$$ (Directed by Tim Burton, runs 112) 5:10, 7:10; MON-THURS 1:00, 3:20, 5:15, 7:35 HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN THURS 9:40 Dumbo: The IMAX 2D Experience is the latest RALPH BREAKS THE INTERNET (G) SAT 11:00, WORLD 3D () FRI,SUN,TUE-WED 7:10; SAT 6:55 CAPTAIN MARVEL 3D () FRI 6:45, 7:15, 9:45; SAT Disney classic to get a live-action remake, this 1:00; SUN 11:00, 1:00, 3:05 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: LA FILLE DU 10:20, 6:45, 7:15, 9:45; SUN 1:20, 6:40; MON-WED time by the director who started this whole trend SPIDER-MAN: INTO THE SPIDER-VERSE (PG) RÈGIMENT () SAT 12:00 6:45, 7:15, 9:40; THURS 6:45 with 2010's Alice In Wonderland. Once again, SAT-SUN 11:00, 1:10, 3:05 MISSING LINK () THURS 4:20, 6:50, 9:30 DUMBO () FRI 4:40; SAT 11:00, 1:50, 4:40; SUN Burton takes on a movie that today's generation UPSIDE (PG) FRI, MON-THURS 7:25, 9:40; SAT- PET SEMATARY () FRI,SUN-THURS 2:00, 4:50, 1:35, 4:25 isn't all that precious about. The original Dumbo SUN 5:10, 7:25, 9:40 7:40, 10:15; SAT 2:00, 4:50, 7:50, 10:30 DUMBO 3D () FRI-SAT 7:30, 10:20; SUN 7:15, is charming but slight, leaving plenty of room to VICE (14A) FRI 1:00, 9:00; SAT-SUN 2:45, 9:10; SHAZAM! () FRI,SUN-THURS 3:30; SAT 11:05, 10:00; MON-THURS 7:10, 9:55 expand and improve - not to mention the oppor- MON-THURS 1:00, 3:20, 7:25, 9:40 3:30 FIVE FEET APART () FRI 4:15, 7:00, 9:55; SAT tunity to erase those Jim Crow caricatures (liter- WHAT MEN WANT (14A) FRI, MON-THURS 1:00, SHAZAM! 3D () FRI-THURS 12:30, 6:40, 9:40 1:30, 4:15, 7:00, 9:55; SUN 1:05, 3:45, 6:50, 9:30; al crows!). The story about a flying elephant also 3:10, 5:20, 7:20, 9:40; SAT 1:00, 5:10, 7:35, 9:40; SHAZAM!: THE IMAX 2D EXPERIENCE () FRI MON-THURS 6:50, 9:30 has intrinsic appeal for Burton with its carnival SUN 1:00, 5:10, 7:35, 9:30 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 10:00; SAT-THURS 1:00, 4:00, HELLBOY () THURS 7:15, 10:10 setting populated with outsider characters who 7:00, 10:00 HOTEL MUMBAI () FRI 4:05, 7:05, 10:00; SAT US () FRI,SUN-THURS 1:30, 4:30, 7:30, 10:15; SAT 10:15, 1:10, 4:05, 7:05, 10:00; SUN 1:10, 4:05, would be at home in any of his other films. At its LANDMARK CINEMAS 6 JACKSON SQUARE best, Dumbo is an imaginative visual treat in 2 King St. W., Hamilton 1:40, 4:30, 7:30, 10:15 6:55, 9:50; MON-WED 6:55, 9:50; THURS 6:55, which Burton's baroque style flourishes during 905.526.8131 landmarkcinemas.com WONDER PARK () FRI,MON-TUE 12:40, 3:30, 6:30; 9:45 the larger set pieces, such as a performance CAPTAIN MARVEL () FRI-SUN,TUE 12:30, 3:30, SAT 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 6:40; SUN 1:15, 3:30, 6:30; HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN involving dancing and stomping elephant-shaped 6:45, 9:50; MON,WED-THURS 3:45, 6:50, 9:45 WED 1:00, 3:30, 6:30; THURS 12:40, 3:50 WORLD () FRI 4:50, 7:25; SAT 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, bubbles swapping in for the acid-trip hallucina- DUMBO () FRI,TUE 1:45, 4:30, 7:30; SAT-SUN 7:25; SUN 2:00, 4:30, 7:00; MON-WED 7:05 tions from the original. But the movie can also be 10:30, 1:45, 4:30, 7:30; MON,WED-THURS 4:20, SILVERCITY BURLINGTON THE LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART () FRI listless, with its starry cast finding too few 1250 Brant, Burlington 4:00; SAT 10:40, 1:15, 4:00; SUN 1:15, 4:00 7:10 905.319.8677 cineplex.com moments of real feeling or heart. Michael Keaton DUMBO 3D () FRI-SUN,TUE 10:10; MON,WED- LITTLE () THURS 7:00, 9:35 gives the film a welcome jolt near the halfway THURS 9:55 THE BEACH BUM () FRI-WED 7:10, 10:25; THURS MISSING LINK () THURS 7:30, 9:50 point, playing a megalomaniac showman and PET SEMATARY () FRI,TUE 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 1:15 PET SEMATARY () FRI 5:30, 8:00, 10:40; FRI-SAT merciless entrepreneur who wants to crank out 10:30; SAT-SUN 10:00, 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, BOLSHOI BALLET: THE GOLDEN AGE () SUN 10:10; SAT 10:05, 12:30, 3:00, 5:30, 8:00, 10:40; soulless wonderment for the largest possible 10:30; MON,WED-THURS 4:10, 7:20, 9:50 12:55 SUN 12:30, 2:55, 5:20, 7:45, 10:15; SUN-WED audience. It's as if Burton is using Dumbo to troll SHAZAM! () FRI,TUE 12:00, 3:15, 6:30, 9:40; SAT- CAPTAIN MARVEL () FRI 4:20, 7:15, 10:15; SAT- 9:45; MON-THURS 7:40, 10:15 Walt Disney. (R.S.) SUN 10:45, 12:00, 3:15, 6:30, 9:40; MON,WED- SUN 1:25, 4:20, 7:15, 10:15; MON-WED 7:15, SHAZAM! () FRI 4:10; SAT 10:00, 1:00, 4:10; SUN THURS 3:30, 6:30, 9:40 10:15 1:00, 4:10 FIGHTING WITH MY FAMILY SHAZAM! 3D () FRI-SUN, TUE 12:30, 3:45, 7:00, CAPTAIN MARVEL 3D () FRI 3:50, 6:45, 9:40; SAT- SHAZAM! 3D () FRI-SAT 7:20, 10:30; SUN 7:10, ###$$ 10:15; MON,WED-THURS 4:00, 7:00, 10:00 SUN 12:55, 3:50, 6:45, 9:40; MON-THURS 6:45, 10:10; MON-THURS 7:00, 10:00 (Directed by Stephen Merchant, runs 107) US () FRI-SUN,TUE 1:15, 4:00, 7:15, 10:00; 9:40 SPACE JAM () SAT 10:00 Fighting With My Family is a fun fish-out-of- MON,WED-THURS 3:50, 6:40, 9:35 COLD PURSUIT () FRI-SAT 8:40; MON-WED 9:05 US () FRI 4:35, 7:35, 10:05, 10:35; SAT 10:50, 1:40, water biopic about a girl with a dream, and also DUMBO () FRI 3:40, 6:30, 9:15; SAT 11:05, 12:40, 4:35, 7:35, 10:05, 10:35; SUN 1:25, 4:15, 7:20, 3:40, 6:30, 9:15; SUN 12:40, 3:40, 6:30, 9:15; 9:35, 10:05; MON-WED 7:20, 9:35, 10:05; THURS a pretty shameless promotional video for World PLAYHOUSE CINEMA Wrestling Entertainment. It is to writer/director 177 Sherman Ave. N., Hamilton. MON-WED 6:30, 9:15; THURS 1:10, 6:30, 9:15 7:20, 10:05 Merchant's credit that it tilts more towards the 905.545.8888 playhousecinema.com DUMBO 3D () FRI 4:05, 7:00, 9:50; SAT-SUN 1:10, WONDER PARK () FRI 5:25; SAT 10:30, 12:50, former than the latter, with the Office co-creator AT ETERNITY’S GATE () TUE 4:40; THURS 6:45 4:05, 7:00, 9:50; MON-THURS 7:00, 9:50 3:05, 5:25; SUN 12:45, 3:00, 5:15 zooming into the self-doubt and familial obliga- THE DAWN WALL () FRI, SUN-MON 9:00; SAT FIVE FEET APART () FRI 3:35, 6:15, 9:00; SAT WONDER PARK 3D () FRI-SAT 7:45; SUN-WED tions that drive young Norwich wrestler Saraya 9:10 3:55, 6:35, 9:20; SUN 4:15, 6:15, 9:00; MON- 7:30 "Paige" Knight (Florence Pugh) to go to Florida in PONYO () SAT 4:50; TUE 9:10 THURS 6:35, 9:20 WWE WRESTLEMANIA 35 () SUN 7:00 the hopes of becoming the WWE's next superstar 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY () SUN 4:10; WED 7:00 HELLBOY () THURS 7:10, 10:25 - even as she effectively abandons her brother WOMAN AT WAR () FRI, MON 4:50; SAT, TUE HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN THE WESTDALE and ring partner Zak (Jack Lowden), who didn't 7:00; SUN 2:00; THURS 9:05 WORLD () FRI 4:30; SAT-SUN 1:40, 4:30 1014 King St. W., Hamilton. 905.577.0074 thewestdale.ca make the cut. A world away from the eerie poise THE WOMAN WHO LOVES GIRAFFES () FRI, SUN- LITTLE () THURS 7:15, 10:15 of Lady Macbeth, Pugh holds the screen confi- MON 7:00 THE METROPOLITAN OPERA: LA FILLE DU ALIENS () THURS 6:45 dently as the conflicted Saraya, who's been RÈGIMENT () SAT 12:00 ALIENS 2 () THURS 9:15 MISSING LINK 3D () THURS 6:55, 9:30 COLD WAR () SAT-SUN 9:30 wrestling since she was 13 but feels like an SILVERCITY ANCASTER impostor the moment she arrives in America; 771 Golf Links Rd., Ancaster. PET SEMATARY () FRI 5:00, 5:30, 7:30, 8:00, EDGE OF THE KNIFE () TUE 9:15; WED 6:45 Merchant and cinematographer Remi Adefarasin 905.304.5888 cineplex.com 10:00, 10:30; SAT-SUN 12:00, 12:30, 2:30, 3:00, GREEN BOOK () SAT 4:00, 6:45; SUN, TUE 6:45; make excellent use of the actor's tiny frame both APOLLO 11 () FRI-SUN,TUE-WED 9:30; MON 9:40 5:00, 5:30, 7:30, 8:00, 10:00, 10:30; MON-THURS TUE 6:45; WED 2:00, 9:15 in and out of the ring, letting us notice Saraya THE BEACH BUM () FRI-WED 9:20 7:30, 8:00, 10:00, 10:30; THURS 1:00 NEVER LOOK AWAY () SAT 12:30 constantly comparing herself to the overbuilt ath- BOLSHOI BALLET: THE GOLDEN AGE () SUN SHAZAM! () FRI 3:30, 6:40, 9:45; SAT-SUN 12:20, THE SECRET GARDEN () SUN 1:00 letes around her. And Lowden offers a nice 12:55 3:30, 6:40, 9:45; MON-THURS 6:40, 9:45; THURS STAN AND OLLIE () SUN 4:00 CAPTAIN MARVEL () FRI-SUN,TUE-THURS 4:20, 1:00 CONTINUED ON PAGE 18 VIEW APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 17 CONTINUED FROM PAGE 17 Saul's Michael Mando and Barry's broad-strokes study in Zak's resent- Sarah Goldberg turn up in smallish ment at being left behind. Nick Frost supporting roles, but The and Lena Headey have a great time Hummingbird Project rolls along CLASSIFIED ADS [email protected] dressing down as their overinvested entirely on its leads' awkward rapport. FLORISTS CLASSIFIEDS [ REAL ESTATE ] parents, Vince Vaughn does his thing Eisenberg filters most of the story's as a crusty trainer with a heart of gold, stress through his usual fast-talking- FLOWERS ... and Dwayne Johnson shows up as him- hustler thing, while Skarsgård - his Classified ads LOCAL AGENTS self - twice! - to impart valuable life les- angular good looks hidden under male The Perfect Gift for hard to buy for people! can cost SHOULD YOU USE a local or spe- understanding of the sales in sons without ever quite tipping into pattern baldness and a paunch - takes Get them a Bouquet-A-Month cialized agent when selling or the area but they should be able fairy-godmother territory. It's a pleasant the more broadly comic role as a fussy for 3 - 6 months, and we’ll do as little as buying your home? This ques- to use all their knowledge to enough comedy, even if the outcome is genius. It's light-weight but entertain- $ 00 + HST tion was posed to me last night not only get you a fair deal but never in doubt: they don't make movies ing until the last act, when Nguyen FREE DELIVERY! 11 and it is not a straightforward help you with the biggest about candidates who wash out, after starts running through the film's We also do custom floral yes or no. In our real estate investment in your life. That is all. (N.W.) themes with a highlighter. And even arrangements. Email or call world the latest change you will what your home will be and then, it's fine. (N.W.) Chedoke Flowers to discuss see on a listing is the 1% claw- buying the right property in the FIVE FEET APART ###$$ 945 Garth, Hamilton your options! (Directed by Justin Baldoni, runs 116) SHAZAM! ####$ 905.387.5773 back which is a line in the com- right area will make you not 905.527.3343 x104 ments where if the selling agent only thousands but hundreds of Five Feet Apart stars Cole Sprouse and (Directed by David Sandbert, runs . www.chedokeflowers.com [email protected] shows your buyers the property thousands over the years. The Haley Lu Richardson as 17-year-olds 132) Shazam! makes all the super- and they make an offer the sell- right agent with local knowl- living with cystic fibrosis. Stella heroic business wait because, as it HYPNOSIS HYPNOSIS ing agent will clawback 1% of edge will be able to steer you in (Richardson) and Will (Sprouse) fall in turns out, watching kids playing with the 2.5% commission for show- the right direction. An agent love despite not being able to be phys- super powers for shits and giggles can ing your clients the property. It who is willing to write up an ically close to each other because of be way more fun. The DC character for- is becoming an everyday occur- offer on a house that you pick their illness. They're an unlikely duo - merly known as Captain Marvel is a rence for a very good reason. off the MLS is the blind leading he's rebellious and doesn't care to fol- teen orphan named Billy (Asher Angel) Agents are lazy. the blind. low his treatment, while she's meticu- who morphs into a puffed-up adult with Years ago once in a blue A house is an investment lously organized. As their feelings a cape and lightning-bolt-emblazoned moon an agent would call and and is usually the biggest one in intensify they're tempted to risk their tights (played with perfect exuberance ask if you could show clients your life so use someone that lives and give in to their attraction. by Zachary Levi). The movie approach- your listing due to some unfore- knows the market. You can Sprouse and Richardson are strong rep- es the classic superhero shenanigans seen circumstance. As a selling have your agent get you a refer- resentations of teens losing themselves as a teen might, with excitement and agent you would be obliged to ral or work right along side with in love, believable enough for the audi- wonder that feel refreshing. It also help sell your listing. In today’s a local agent to understand the ence to remain interested through the boasts that trendy term "irreverent market many buyers are looking market and take care of your somewhat slow beginning of the film. humour," poking fun at everything from at the MLS and calling agents money. I have a client that is (M.L.) geeky superhero obsessions to the very to show them listings and when relocating to Ottawa and I will fact that Billy's alter ego lacks a name it comes to making a purchase be travelling to the our capital HOTEL MUMBAI (that Captain Marvel history has legal they then call their friend, to help with the purchase to ####$ (Directed by Anthony complications). The irreverent humour MEDIA MEDIA cousins, buddy or whoever has a make sure she is taken care of Maras, runs 125) Hotel Mumbai is here is not at all like Deadpool, which real estate license to make an but I will use a local agent to about the four-day terrorist attack in takes jabs at itself and the whole genre offer to a home the listing agent help with the final decision. India's most populous city in 2008, in such relentless and cynical ways that not only showed but sold them Sure I will lose thousands of and one of the targets was the opulent it left me feeling like a dead carcass on on. The buyer’s agent some- dollars in potential commission Taj Mahal Palace Hotel. Based on true the way out. Instead, the satire in times has not only not seen the but that is nothing to the events, director Maras's debut feature Shazam! is sincere and affectionate. property they just email the wealth of knowledge a local revisits the attacks, switching between The whole movie is, actually. It's the offer and hope for a positive agent will give us in making the several points of view, including those rare superhero movie with a lot of heart. response. This is a scenario that right decision and in the end of the gunmen, a loyal hotel waiter (Dev (R.S.) is happening daily in today’s make sure we buy in the right Patel) and an interracial American cou- market and buyers are paying neighbourhood so my client ple (Armie Hammer and Nazanin US ####$ more than they should and lazy will make hundreds of thou- Boniadi) visiting with their baby and (Directed by Jordan Peele, runs 116) agents are making a bad name sands of dollars in the next nanny in tow. Although audiences who Us may not feel as revolutionary as for those who are actual profes- decade. V remember watching the news during writer/director Peele's first feature, Get sionals. by Darrin DeRoches this time will know how things end, Out, but it's still a damn good horror So this brings me to the Maras manages to sustain the tension, movie - smart, sharp, artfully made and question should you use a local Darrin DeRoches is a local thanks in part to Volker Bertelmann's entirely entertaining, even if the last agent and the answer is not real estate and mortgage haunting score. The ensemble cast is beats don't land perfectly. Both smaller only yes but hell yeah — YES! broker. He can be reached to excellent, with Patel giving a particu- and larger in scale than its predecessor, Not only should the agent answer questions, com- larly moving performance. Empathy Us focuses on the Wilson family - par- This space can be yours understand the market, what is ments or stories about real and emotions certainly run high in this ents Adelaide and Gabe (Black Panther for only $36.00 + hst! going on in the neighbourhood, estate experiences through two-hour nail-biter. Subtitled. co-stars Lupita Nyong'o and Winston have a relationship in the com- this weekly column at (M. D. S.) Duke), teenage Zora (Shahadi Wright munity, and have the basic [email protected]. Joseph) and younger Jason (Evan Alex) THE HUMMINGBIRD - vacationing at their summer house in PROJECT ###$$ Santa Cruz, where they're confronted (Directed by Kim Nguyen, runs 111) by menacing versions of themselves. The Hummingbird Project is a curious Peele takes his time laying the ground- buddy picture from Montreal work, establishing the family's dynamic writer/director Nguyen (Two Lovers And and the specific quirks of their environ- A Bear, Eye On Juliet, the Oscar-nomi- ment before the weirdness arrives - but nated War Witch), with Jesse Eisenberg once it does, Us grabs you and doesn't and Alexander Skarsgård playing let go, staying with the Wilsons as the cousins who set out to run a fibre-optic world goes mad around them. A final line from Kansas to Manhattan in movement gives us more information 2011 to save Wall Street traders a cou- than we need, diffusing the tension ple of milliseconds' advantage on the somewhat, but Nyong'o's riveting per- markets. Naturally, things don't go as formance - performances, really - holds planned. Salma Hayek is the duo's the film together all the way to the end. competitive ex-boss and Better Call (N.W.)

BY M. Da Silva, M. LOZOWSKA, K. RITCHIE, R. SIMONPILLAI, N.WILNER 18 APRIL 4 — 10, 2019 VIEW [ FREE WILL ASTROLOGY] by ROB BRESZNY ADULT CHAT LINES ADULT CHAT LINES ADULT CHAT LINES ARIES (March 21–April 19): A mushroom desiring beings.” I’ve quoted her because I suspect it’s dshaped like a horse’s hoof grows on birch trees in crucial for you to not suppress or hide your longings in #1 SEXIEST CHAT. It’s FREE to try! 18+ parts of Europe and the U.S. If you strip off its outer the coming weeks. That’s triply true if you’re a woman, Ham: 905.297.6666 Nia: 905.682.3222 layer, you get amadou, spongy stuff that’s great for ignit- but also important if you’re a man or some other gen- Nightline, Your After Party Starts Now. ing fires. It’s not used much anymore, but it was a cru- der. You have a potential to heal deeply if you get very nightlinechat.com cial resource for some of our ancestors. As for the word clear about what you hunger for and then express it “amadou,” it’s derived from an old French term that frankly. Explore your fantasies with local singles! means “tinder, kindling, spunk.” The same word was Try it FREE! 18+ 905.667.8118 formerly used to refer to a person who is quick to light LIBRA (Sept. 23–Oct. 22): Only one of Nana Night Exchange, Where Erotic Adults up or to something that stimulates liveliness. In accor- aMouskouris’s vocal cords works, but over the Come To Play.nightexchange.com dance with astrological omens, I’m making “Amadou” course of an almost 60–year career, the Libran singer your nickname for the next four weeks. has sold over 30 million records in twelve different lan- CALL • CLICK • CONNECT guages. Many critics speculate that her apparent disad- with local women and men in your area. TAURUS (April 20–May 20): “Human beings vantage is key to her unique style. She’s a coloratura Call QUEST for your absolutely FREE trial! 18+ hare not born once and for all on the day their mezzo, a rare category of chanteuse who sings ornate Ham: 905.667.5555 Nia: 905.228.5000 mothers give birth to them,” wrote novelist Gabriel passages with exceptional agility and purity. In the Questchat.com Garcia Marquez. “Life obliges them over and over to coming weeks, I suspect that you will be like give birth to themselves.” Here’s what I’ll add to that: Mouskouris in your ability to capitalize on a seeming As you mature, you do your best to give birth to lack or deprivation. To book your classified ad ever–new selves that are in alignment with the idealis- tic visions you have of the person you want to become. SCORPIO (Oct. 23–Nov. 21): Your tribe is sym- email: [email protected] Unfortunately, most of us aren’t skilled at that task in bbolized by three animals: the scorpion, the eagle, adolescence and early adulthood, and so the selves we and the mythological phoenix. Some astrologers say create may be inadequate or delusory or distorted. that the scorpion is the ruling creature of “unevolved” Fortunately, as we learn from our mistakes, we eventu- or immature Scorpios, whereas the eagle and phoenix ally learn to give birth to selves that are strong and are associated with those of your tribe who express the righteous. The only problem is that the old false selves riper, more enlightened qualities of your sign. But I we generated along the way may persist as ghostly want to put in a plug for the scorpion as being worthy echoes in our psyche. And we have a sacred duty to of all Scorpios. It is a hardy critter that rivals the cock- banish those ghostly echoes. I tell you this, Taurus, roach in its ability to survive—and even thrive in—less because the coming months will be en excellent time to than ideal conditions. For the next two weeks, I pro- do that banishing. Ramp up your efforts NOW! pose we make it your spirit creature.

GEMINI (May 21–June 20): “When spring came, SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22–Dec. 21): Sagittarian ithere were no problems except where to be happi- cnovelist Gustave Flaubert declared that it’s “our est,” wrote Ernest Hemingway in his memoir. He quick- duty is to feel what is sublime and cherish what is beau- ly amended that statement, though, mourning, “The tiful.” But that’s a demanding task to pull off on an only thing that could spoil a day was people.” Then he ongoing basis. Maybe the best we can hope for is to feel ventured even further, testifying, “People were always what’s sublime and cherish what’s beautiful for 30–35 the limiters of happiness except for the very few that days every year. Having said that, though, I’m happy to were as good as spring itself.” I bring these thoughts to tell you that in 2019 you could get all the way up to your attention so as to prepare you for some good news. 95–100 days of feeling what’s sublime and cherishing In the next three weeks, I suspect you will far exceed what’s beautiful. And as many as 15 to 17 of those days your quota for encounters with people who are not could come during the next 21. “limiters of happiness”—who are as good as spring itself. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22–Jan. 19): Sommeliers CANCER (June 21–July 22): It’s time to prove gare people trained to perceive the nuances of jthat Cancerians have more to offer than nurturing, wine. By sampling a few sips, the best sommeliers can empathizing, softening the edges, feeling deeply, getting discern facts about the type of grapes that were used to comfortable, and being creative. Not that there’s any- make the wine and where on earth they were grown. I thing wrong with those talents. On the contrary! think that in the coming weeks you Capricorns should They’re beautiful and necessary. It’s just that for now launch an effort to reach a comparable level of sensitiv- you need to avoid being pigeonholed as a gentle, sensi- ity and perceptivity about any subject you care about. tive soul. To gather the goodies that are potentially It’s a favorable time to become even more masterful available to you, you’ll have to be more forthright and about your specialties; to dive deeper into the areas of aggressive than usual. Is it possible for you to wield a knowledge that captivate your imagination. commanding presence? Can you add a big dose of will- fulness and a pinch of ferocity to your self-presentation? AQUARIUS (Jan. 20–Feb. 18): Every language is Yes and yes! ea work–in–progress. New words constantly insin- uate themselves into common usage, while others fade ADULT MASSAGE COMPANIONS ADULT CLASSIFIEDS LEO (July 23–Aug. 22): General Motors manu- away. If you traveled back in time to 1719 while factured a car called the Pontiac Aztek from remaining in your current location, you’d have trouble KING SHERMAN SAUNA k Hamilton’s #1 Licensed Spa WHERE MEN COME TO 2001 to 2005. It wasn’t commercially successful. One communicating with people of that era. And today lin- Come say hello to critic said it looked like “an angry kitchen appliance,” guistic evolution is even more rapid than in previous MEET REAL MEN Lily & Alexia! Karel’s Steam Baths ages. The Oxford English Dictionary adds more than a Mon to Sat 10am-1am and many others agreed it was exceptionally unstylish. 905.549.9666 But later the Aztek had an odd revival because of the thousand new words annually. In recognition of the 893 King St. E., Hamilton 905-545-5030 www.karelssteambaths.com popularity of the TV show Breaking Bad. The show’s extra verbal skill and inventiveness you now posses, Hiring-License Fee Assistance protagonist, Walter White, owned one, and that moti- Aquarius, I invite you to coin a slew of your own fresh www.kingshermansauna.com vated some of his fans to emulate his taste in cars. In terms. To get you warmed up, try this utterance I coined: vorizzimo! It’s an exclamation that means accordance with astrological omens, Leo, I suspect that Classified Ad Booking JENNIFER something of yours may also enjoy a second life some- “thrillingly beautiful and true.” 40 Years Old time soon. An offering that didn’t get much apprecia- Deadline tion the first time around may undergo a resurgence. PISCES (Feb. 19–March 20): One of history’s is Monday at 5pm. 289.880.9158 Help it do so. fmost audacious con men was George C. Parker, a Outcalls Only • Cash Only Pisces. He made his living selling property that did not Gentlemen Preferred • Safe VIRGO (Aug. 23–Sept. 22): “Of all the female legally belong to him, like the Brooklyn Bridge, the To book a classified ad lsins, hunger is the least forgivable,” laments femi- Metropolitan Museum of Art, and the Statue of [email protected] nist author Laurie Penny. She’s referring to the hunger Liberty. I suspect you could summon his level of sales- AISLYN “for anything, for food, sex, power, education, even manship and persuasive skills in the coming weeks. But 905.527.3343 x104 East Hamilton love.” She continues: “If we have desires, we are expect- I hope you will use your nearly magical powers to make 905.921.0915 ed to conceal them, to control them, to keep ourselves deals and perform feats that have maximum integrity. in check. We are supposed to be objects of desire, not It’s OK to be a teensy bit greedy, though. V ☯☯☯☯☯ FREE WILL ASTROLOGY Week of April 4 © Copyright 2019 Rob Brezsny

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