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Navigating Crucial Conversation for Chapters Welcome! We are please to present to you one of the Sigma Leadership Academy’s first Signature Program – Navigating Crucial Conversations. This training session, was developed in partnership with Phillip Edge, Faculty Member of the Academy. The main goal of this session is to assist our members with their achievement for greater success in the workplace and Fraternity life through meaningful development. Two hours does not lend itself to addressing all skills necessary for personal and professional success. This session is interactive and insightful for Sigmas and other participants alike. We hope you find this training a powerful and valuable tool in advancing your skills. Our expectations for today’s session are for you to engage fully‐using your head and your heart. Secondly, we expect you to provide candid feedback on today’s session and provide recommendations for future sessions. On behalf of the Faculty and Staff of the Sigma Leadership Academy, Thank you! Enjoy the Session! John E. White Academy’s Director Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -1- Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications –Navigating Crucial Conversations A Sigma Leadership Academy Signature Learning Lab Learning how to create and communicate in an atmosphere where you and others feel safe giving and receiving constructive feedback is important skill for leaders today. During this learning lab we will introduce ways to navigate potentially damaging curial conversations and scenarios. We will learn how written and unwritten rules in the workplace impacts career growth. We will introduce ways to seal allies and solutions that enable you to remove potential restraints that impede the growth of our Fraternity. Thanks! Copyright Notice All content included in this document is the property of the Sigma Leadership Academy of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. These materials shall remain the exclusive property of Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity. No part of this publication may be reproduced or otherwise duplicated in any form without the written permission of the Sigma Leadership Academy. Acknowledgements Phillip Edge, Faculty- Sigma Leadership Faculty John E. White, Director of Sigma Leadership Academy Kevin L. Davis, Director of Communications-SLA Louis Defreeze, Graphics Manager, SLA Charles Talbert, Faculty- Sigma Leadership Academy Please be advised that the views, observations and conclusions expressed herein are not necessarily those of Sigma, but reflect those of the authors and the experts cited herein. Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -2- INTRODUCTION Learning Objectives Create an atmosphere where you and others feel safe giving and receiving constructive feedback Recognize and effectively manage barriers, roadblocks, pitfalls and baggage Practice communicating through various Crucial Conversations Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -3- Icebraker: Introductions and Communication Styles Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -4- Agenda and Content Open Agenda Learning Objectives Norms Introductions Reflect “Our Journey” “The Sigma Persuasive Activity Intent and Impact Stress Model – Using “Fatigue-An Essay” Refocus Crucial Conversations Roadblocks, Barriers, Baggage and Pitfalls Rise Interactive Theater Strategies & Models Close Action Planning Evaluations Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -5- Team Members List the names of your team and any information you deem pertinent. Like you, I’m still a work in progress. And the next step beyond failure could be your biggest success. -Debbie Allen, Singer, Dancer and TV Producer Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -6- Debrief “The Sigma Persuasive Activity” Historically Black Colleges and Universities Have Outgrown Their Usefulness Pro: Con: “We must realize that our future lies chiefly in our own hands.” -Paul Robeson, Actor and Activist Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -7- Please provide 1 or 2 words to describe this activity. Based on your roles and interactions during this activity, what was your lead community style? Did you have any “aha” moments, if so what were they? Could you characterize the discussions as Crucial Conversation, why or why not? What lessons can you take away from this activity? Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -8- Intent and Impact Statement: “Thought You Were A Kappa? Is this conversation a Crucial Conversation? Why or why not? Potential Intent Potential Impacts Clearly, no one knows what leadership has gone undiscovered in women of all races, and in black and other minority men. -Gloria Steinem author and feminist Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -9- Stress Model Using two excerpts from “Fatigue-An Essay” as indicators, place the statement number on the scale as to how the statement has affected you in the past or presently. Range of Attitudes, Emotions and Beliefs 100% OR GREATER ZERO OR LESS Fatigue-An Essay3 (excerpts) I am tired of- 1. Being told by other people that I am too black and being told by black people that I am not black enough 2. Being invited to participate in discussions because there is a need for a “black perspective” and when I offer input, being told that race should be left out of the discussion. 3. Hearing people say, “Sigma’s are Country” or never thought you will have been a Sigma! Or Phi Beta Sigma Sissies! “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady, Human Rights Activist and Feminist 3 Asheville, African-American News, “Fatigue-An Essay,” Don C. Locke, October 1994 Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -10- Learning Points Communication permeates each aspect of our personal and professional life People embody differing and/or similar lead communication styles The Sigma story and journey is dynamic Each of us must recognize how our own attitudes, emotions and beliefs impact our communication styles and our stress levels Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -11- REFOCUS Native American Folklore "A Native American boy was talking to his Grandfather. 'What do you think about the world situation?' he asked? The grandfather replied, ' I feel like wolves are fighting in my heart. One full of anger and hatred; the other is full of love, forgiveness, and peace.' 'Which one will win?,' asked the boy. To which the Grandfather replied, 'the one I feed.'' Author Unknown When our thoughts ‐ which bring actions ‐ are filled with hate against anyone, Negro or white, we are in a living hell. That is as real as hell will ever be. George Washington Carver Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -12- 4 Crucial Conversations Defined My Definition Author’s Definition When the conversation involves communication between two or more individuals where there is highly charged emotions – it may create touch points or flashpoints. When people do not share the same pool of thought, differing opinions – when the pool of thought is dangerously shallow, people, smart people say things that they may regret later When the conversations have the potential to alter or change the relationship between the parties Was the initial Introductions Activity a Crucial Conversation? Why or why not? Was the Persuasive Activity a Crucial Conversation? Why or why not? “It is not your environment, it is you-the quality of your minds, the integrity of your souls and the determination of your will-that will decide your future and shape you lives.” -Dr. Benjamin E. Mays, Education and mentor of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 4 Patterson, Kerry, and Grenny, Josephn et al., Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High Empowering Regional Directors through Effective Communications‐ –Navigating Crucial Conversations -13- Examples of Crucial Conversations in the Workplace and in Sigma Giving feedback to a colleague about his/her performance Giving or receiving an unfavorable performance review Talking to a peer about an offensive comment or gesture that they made Talking with your manager about an offensive comment, statement or gesture he/she made Holding a chapter accountable for program implementation and reporting Talking about a alleged hazing incident Providing feedback to someone on hygiene and/or attire etc. Talking with a team member who is not carrying his/her load Providing feedback to a customer/client Tips5 A crucial element of navigating through Crucial Conversations is our ability to learn to watch for conditions when safety is a concern. According to the authors of Crucial Conversations, tools for talking when stakes are high include: Learn to spot Crucial Conversations Notice physical and emotional signs – some people may react emotionally, some may react behaviorally such as pointing their finger etc. Pay attention to the content. Watch for signs that people are fearful. Some of the signs are when people are pushing too hard; when people fear,
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