Sympathy for the Devil
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11 | OPINION N iagara This Week COM A SYMPATHY FOR THE DEVIL 3:30 p.m. those stuck in the prison GETTING ROBBED This dastardly daytime industrial complex. delinquent went in We should have done | KINDA SUCKS, Thursday, November 1, 2018 through our bedroom win- more to help John. That's WRITES JAMES dow, rifled through our the name of the guy who possessions, and walked broke into my house; alleg- CULIC right out the front door edly, I should say for legal JAMES with a garbage bag full of reasons, since he hasn't CULIC our stuff slung over his had his day in court yet, but Column shoulder like some kinda at this point it looks like a evil reverse-Santa from the pretty cut-and-dry case. South Pole. He got my I should also say, the Ni- wife's laptop, some jewelry, agara regional police did a As the trio of police offi- my collection of wrist- great job here, and they cers finished gathering evi- watches (including my were an absolute pleasure dence and taking photos in rare Sega Dreamcast com- to work with. They were my kitchen, the detective memorative watch) and he quick to respond after the turned to me and said, "So, stole one on my USB keys initial crime, did an ex- you're that reporter with that had some sweet Kanye haustive search and evi- the newspaper, yeah?" West albums on it. dence collection (they I told him I was indeed I think my wife was sur- found a footprint on the air that guy. prised that I wasn't angrier conditioner outside the "Do me a favour, would about the whole ordeal, but bedroom window) and the ya?" he said. "Give me a once I was informed the detective kept us up to couple weeks to solve this burglar was almost cer- speed on our missing stuff thing before you write tainly stealing this stuff to with regular email up- about it." pay for drugs, I wasn't real- dates. I got robbed. Or, I guess, ly angry so much as I was ... I honestly thought the technically I got burgled. sad? detective was just being op- It's only a robbery if some- I felt sympathy for this timistic when he said he one is there at the time of guy more than anything. was confident they would the crime, but since my Nobody wants to break in- arrest the suspect soon, but Royalty Free Stock Photo house was empty save for to homes and steal stuff. sure enough, they had him As much as the man who burgled homes in Fort Erie failed society, society has failed him, writes my kitty Zelda, it was a bur- You do that when you are in cuffs only a few weeks James Culic. glary, not a robbery. It very desperate. You do that later. Unfortunately our nearly was a robbery when you are struggling stolen stuff wasn't recov- burglarizing. I've never shortly after. His name? I had for this guy is gone. though. The thieving home with an addiction so power- ered; likely already traded been robbed, but my wife John. We doubled checked Lock him up and throw invader who has been hit- ful it makes you do things or sold to feed an addiction. has actually. both police reports and away the key. ting houses all over the nobody wants to do. It's a somewhat unsatis- It was 12 years ago, she sure enough, it was him. north end of Fort Erie is a As much as this burglar fying conclusion to the was working the cash reg- That's right: the same James Culic is Niagara daytime burglar. He busts has failed decent society, whole sad saga. I hope this ister at the old Ontario guy. The same guy who this Week's regular weekly in when good folk like me we have failed him by not guy John feels bad about Bakery in Fort Erie and robbed my wife, randomly columnist and he just are out working for a liv- demanding our govern- stealing my stuff, and I just before closing time, broke into her house more bought some new security ing. I got home early that ments do more to combat hope he gets whatever help some guy came in, flashed than a decade later and cameras for his house. day, around 4:30 p.m. and addiction, do more to offer he needs. a knife at her, and stole all stole a bunch of her stuff. Email him at jculic@niag- the police figure the bur- access to mental health I also hope he stops rob- the cash. OK, I've changed my arathisweek.com or holler glary happened around services, do more to help bing people. Or, I guess, They caught the guy mind. 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Thursday, November 29, 2018 While at the local YMCA After another few weeks JAMES CULIC a few weeks back, some of poking around, I still dudes in the locker-room hadn't come across the ad- JAMES were talking about going to dress for this place, but I CULIC Column a Bills game, so I interject- was pointed to another lo- ed. I told them I had tickets cal guy who allegedly could to a game also, and had fill me in. I got connected heard about a cool Fort with this guy and got most Erie tailgate party. They of the same story. A good story always guys looked around sorta "Yeah I know the place, piques my interest, and for nervously, until one of where Dougie Martin and years I'd been hearing them gave a quick nod of all them guys go. There's a about a good story in Fort approval, and then they group of like 20 of them and Erie. told me that, yeah, it was a I heard they haven't missed Word on the street was real thing, and they go a Bills home game in 30 that there was a secret there before games. years," he said. "I don't gathering of Fort Erie's Finally. My first solid know the address but I elite and powerful at an ex- lead. I asked where the think it's on Southwestern clusive little pre-game tail- place was, and said I'd like Boulevard. You'll see the gate party at Buffalo Bills to go because I heard there house: it's white and has home games. Fort Erie was a secret "old boys club" blue shutters." James Culic/Metroland dudes have been going to of guys who always go to That was as much info I spent Sunday looking for a secret Fort Erie tailgate party at the Buffalo Bills game. these games for, supposed- the games. as I managed to get before ly, decades now, and you "Oh yeah, mayor Doug last weekend's Bills game from Fort Erie, and was then, I spotted a prominent about for years. have to be "in the know" to Martin and all those guys arrived, so we set out. With looking for the place where dude I know from town, "But they're not here to- get into this secret shindig. are always there," he told not much else to go on, we all the other Fort Erie peo- Scott, who waved me over. day, I heard they went I'd long known that for- me. "There's like a group of headed over the bridge on ple were. "Yeah, this is the "Hey James, we were down to Florida this week mer mayor Doug Martin 10 of them and I heard they Sunday and planned to just place. We can find room for just talking about you," instead," said Scott. was a huge Bills fan, and haven't missed a single sorta drive around this you." said Scott. "About how So that was that. Not ev- had heard whispers that he Bills home game in 20 road near the stadium, We parked and went in your house got robbed, ery story comes to a satis- went to every game, includ- years." looking for a white house to find it was largely as ad- that's crazy." So I was in fying conclusion with a ing the secret tailgate party He went on to explain with blue shutters. vertised: a pretty nice little fact in the right spot. I clever zinger to cap things too.