As Is, Where Is

Selected English poems (1964-2007)

Dilip Chitre

An English Imprint of Abhidhanantar Prakashan CONTENTS first lines of untitled poems serve as titles; numbered poems in titled sequences may be read as sections of a long poem or as independent poems; readers are free to exercise their choice

1. In Ethiopia 1

2. From Breakfasts And Deaths 13 The First Breakfast: Objects 15 The Second Breakfast: Intimations Of Mortality 16 The Third Breakfast: I Am Asked 18 The Fourth Breakfast: Between Knowing And Unknowing 20 The Fifth Breakfast: To The Music Of Johann Sebastian Bach 22 The Sixth Breakfast: Orgasms 24 The Seventh Breakfast: Betrayals 25 The Eighth Breakfast: Religions 26 The Ninth Breakfast: Astrological Forecast 28 The Tenth Breakfast: The Coming Of Kalki 29 The Eleventh Breakfast: Eclipses 31 The Twelfth Breakfast: Early Birds 32 The Thirteenth Breakfast: Jinx 33 The Fourteenth Breakfast: To Tukaram, The 17th Century Poet-saint 34 The Fifteenth Breakfast: News Of The Day 36 The Sixteenth Breakfast: Remembering Kalidasa 37 The Seventeenth Breakfast: News Of The World 39 The Eighteenth Breakfast: Non-morning—a Rhythm 40 The Nineteenth Breakfast: Hangovers 42 The Twentieth Breakfast: Without Noststalgia 43

3. Homage To Pataliputra 45

4. Tukaram In Heaven, Chitre In Hell 61

5. Ambulance Ride 67 6. From Bombay 79 The View From Chinchpokli 81 This Is About My Friend 83 Mumbai: A Song 84 Ode To Bombay 87 David Moore Ascends Heaven 88 I Laugh, I Cry 89 The Felling Of The Banyan Tree 90 The House Of My Childhood 9l Father Returning Home 92 Afternoon In The Western Ghats 93 The Bastion Of Pisati 94 Panhala 95 Dhulia 96 Sanctuary 97 Mahalakshmi . 98

7. Travelling In A Cage 99 Has My Time Come? 101 I Came In The Middle Of My Life 103 The Roots And Branches 104 Cut The Cables And 105 The Door I Was Afraid To Open 106 In The Dark Smell Of Cooking Meat 107 All I Hear Is The Fraying Of The Wind Among Splayed Trees 108 I Woke Up And Looked At My Empty White Bed 109 What Wind's Lost Thread I Find 110 Like A Tired Bird Finally Coming To Rest 111 My Eyes Shed The Skin Of Tears 112 Doors Open Inside Me 113 Tungsten Trembling With Energy 114 We Have Only Ourselves To Destroy 115 Be Naked As The Tongue No Flavours In The World Can Clothe 116 Death Is The Genital We All Seek 117 In The Black Garden The Geen Graves Open 118 We Are On A Suicide Course 119 Where Can I Hide Now In This 120 An Aztec Eyelid, Stillness Of Lizards 121 0 Quick Knives Curving Into The Core 122 Pinball Concerto 123 Poem In Self-exile 124 In Limbo 125 Evenings In Iowa City, Iowa 126 A Poet's Silence 127 Pushing A Cart 128 The Translator 129 La Morte Douce 130 The Painter 131 Van Gogh's Ear 132 A Gravelly-voiced Man 133 Stealing 134 December 22, The Shortest Day In The Northern Hemisphere 135 Poem Conceived In Several Hospitals 136 Untitled 137 Of Garlic And Such 138 One Day You Wake Up 139 The Sun Dance : A Letter From Iowa City 140

8. Narrative'77 142

9. Unicorns Are Making Love 143 lO.Monologue In America, 1977 144

11. Water 146

12. Remembering Bill Brown—Poet, Chef, And Spy 147

13. A Letter From Germany 149

14. Europe/Asia 150

15.The Mountain 151 And Then Stop 153 A Little Step Into Nothing 154 1 Built A Warehouse 155 A Poet's Task 156 I Am Nothing But The Afternoon 157 When I Entered The Kingdom 158 The Fear That Revives Suicidal Brides 159 Love Leaves Nothing Recognizable Behind 160 A Weeping God 161 Witness 162 It Was Then That I Realized 163 Shiva 164 I Can Teach You 166 Will 167 I'll Be Where I Am 168 The Bhakta 170 Listen To This Wind 171 He Came Upwards Through 172 Altitudes 173 The Sky 174 Catharsis By The River 175 Don't Rob Me 176 The Inward Cry 177 Now I Object To Nothing 178 And Perhaps I Shall Be Admonished ' 179 My Tongue Is Still As Death 180 Fangs? Fingers? 181 Ode 182 Now The Guilty Shall Be Honoured 183 The Smell Of Suicide 184

16.1980-1992 185 Afternoon Images 187 So Earthly This Light . 189 Portrait . 190 Evening Prayer 191 Untitled Series Of Four Sonnets 192 And You There, Fernandes 196 Black/green 197 Heidelberg Concerto Number 1 198 For Gtinther Sontheimer 199 17.From Weimar To Buchenwald And Back: Untitled Poems About A Titled Journey 201 18.No Moon Monday At The River Karha 211 19. Voices And Images 225 Touch Me 227 Do Something 228 Haiku In Memory Of Dadar Beach, Circa 1957 229 A Paen To Curcuma 230 To A Thesaurus After Sunset 231 As Man My End Is Tragic 232 A Tired Traveller Reminisces 233 Poems May Open Up 234 In The Dark Was It Deenanath 235 Will I Ever Find Heaven's Fucking Light 236 Sonnets Of Love And Loss 237 Described By His Detractors 242 Chitre 244

20.Post Climactic Love Poem , 247

21.Rape Of Gujarat 256

22. A Starnberger See Interlude 259

23.After Ashay 269 Anniversary 271 Lost Images 274 In Gruesome Weather 276 Now O Master Your Scales 277 The River Indrayani at Dehu 279 Will the Poem End 280 End Note 281 Attack J 282 Dementia Praecox 283 Absence From Myself 284 The Etymology of Junk 286 The Heart is Slow to Bleed 287 Singularity 288 Prologue 289 Fugue 290 Unfinished Requiem for a Lost Son 291 Finale 295 Moths Drink the Tears of Sleeping Birds 296 Winter Solstice, 2006 297 Adagio 298 The Bhopal Embryo 299 Looking at Ashay's Paintings 300

24.1mmersion 301

Plethora 303 Quietus , 304 Epigraph 305 It's Not Easy To Recall The Musical Serpents Of Memory 306 Recent Portrait Of A Woman 307 Traumatic Traces : A Late Sonnet 308 Time to Invite You All to My Empty Table 309 Shiva's Phallus 310 Erogenous Zones 311 Monsoons Of Lovemaking Storm Out Of Memory 313 It Was Autumn Again In The Temperate Zone 315 For Me These Poems Are Closures 316 Venice 317 The Black Angel, Iowa City, 1975 318 Moncarapacho Remembered 319 Asella, Ethiopia, 1960 320 Older Portrait of a Woman 321 This Planet is Rapidly Losing its Memory 322 Not Too Late For Eternity . 323 A Friend is Critically 111, Perhaps Dying, at a Distance 324 Jayanta Mahapatra in January 2006 326 A Lie, Because It Masks The Truth 328 Ruins 331 In Memoriam 332 Thanatos 333 A Dilip Chitre Chronology 335 Poetry by Dilip Chitre 345