One for the Road
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One for the Road Stories only I can tell. Journeys you can make as well. _________________ Bjørn Christian Tørrissen Translated from Norwegian by a Babel fish URSINE SELF-PUBLISHING NOMADS One for the Road – Stories only I can tell. Journeys you can make as well. © Bjørn Christian Tørrissen 2008 Published by Lulu The book was first published in Norway in 2005 by Kolofon Forlag AS, under the Norwegian title I pose og sekk! Cover design in cooperation with Elisabeth V. Bjone Maps and photographs © Bjørn Christian Tørrissen [email protected] / www.bjornfree.com Set in Palatino Linotype ISBN: 978-1-84799-453-0 The small print: All rights reserved. Bjørn Christian Tørrissen is the author of this work. If you want to recycle anything in this book, obviously apart from just the actual paper, you have to ask him if it's okay first. He's very friendly and eager to share his works with the world, so don't worry. Just drop him an e-mail at [email protected] where you ask him nicely, and you'll probably receive a positive reply right away. Unless you're planning on making money from your reuse, that is. In that case we may have to talk things over a bit first. Preface (sort of) Hello there! Whether you've already bought the book or you're just considering it, I'd like to start off by explaining what sort of book this is. Or rather, I'd better explain what this book is not, as that's a whole lot easier to do. • It's not a travel guide. Fair enough, I have included some well- meant advice for travellers, but that doesn't give you the right to complain to me if something horrible happens because you tried to do something I've written about. In this book there are no actual recommendations of any particular place or activity. All you will find is a sober and neutral description of my own experiences. • Neither is it a factual, profound account from an expert. I'm not someone who knows a region extremely well after having spent years working and struggling my way through every alley and high street in it. I don't know the full historical background of these places. And I certainly don't know any local, influential celebrities, much less have I shaken hands and dined with them. • This is not one of those books where the author says “Come! Let me take you on a wonderful journey through Somewheria!”, and then proceeds to not take you on a journey at all, but instead just lists the most picturesque attractions there. What I offer is a tale about real journeys, not just imagined trips to places that probably no longer exist, if they ever did. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with traditional travel guides and thorough, historical works. They can be useful and inspiring, sometimes even entertaining. Particularly for those who prefer to "travel" from the comfort of a good armchair at home, being presented to one spectacular scene after the other without risking anything. Or for those who already know where they will go on their next trip, and what they will see there. 7 This book is something else. My intention is to describe what it actually feels like to travel with a backpack to destinations slightly off the beaten path. Sure, it's a book about travelling I have done, but it is also about something you can do. I have written this so that you, a normal, informed and fairly anonymous person (no offence!) can recognize it all when you take off on your own to seek out the alternative reality of Elsewheria. Any place, large or small, is different from any other. Yet all of them have something in common; nowhere will you find only harmony and climaxes, sunny weather and fascinating people waiting for you to come by so that they can provide you with some local, universal wisdom. So here follows an honest travel journal, full of both pleasing and disappointing experiences. Although intended to be truthful, it is of course coloured by my background. So let me introduce myself. It's necessary for you to understand how I perceive the world, so that you can judge for yourself how my opinions are of relevance to you. • You could say I'm the kind of guy who always finishes his vegetables and never forgets to brush his teeth. If I ever get in trouble, it's just because there was absolutely nothing I could have done differently to avoid it. • I'm in good shape, and I'm quite likely to spend my day exploring on foot, whether it's in a city, a jungle or a desert. When I travel, I often find myself exhausted and dehydrated in the evenings. The next morning I'll be fine again. • I'm fond of reading, but I'm not an intellectual. I don't even drink wine. Not because I dislike alcohol or anything, I just haven't started drinking yet. • The journeys described here took place in 2001 (South America and Antarctica), 2002 (Southern Africa) and 2003 (Russia). At the time I was 29, 30 and 31 years old. During the previous 4-5 years I had travelled extensively through some thirty countries, making me a fairly seasoned traveller. 8 • I hold a Master's degree in computer science. After having struggled with a great diversity of computers and programming languages for a number of years, I have found that I prefer writing for people rather than for computers. • One reason I have been able to travel so much is my employer. As long as I deliver as promised, I'm free to come and go as I like, even when that means I sometimes "disappear" for months. When I work, I work a lot. • I'm good at saving my money, or maybe I'm just really bad at spending it. I have no commitments apart from my flexible job. I've chosen to live a modest life with just basic facilities in the tiniest of flats. This leaves enough money for me to do a lot of travelling. • In my world a smile can solve just about any problem. For those few exceptions where it can't, I always carry an extra roll of toilet paper. That's all you need to know before we set off. We'll save the rest for when we get on the road. Oslo, January 2008 9 Table of Contents Preface (sort of)................................................................................................... 7 Swimming to the Airport................................................................................. 13 The Doorstep Mile............................................................................................ 31 The Utterly Deep South................................................................................... 39 In and Out of Africa....................................................................................... 103 Summer in the Pity ........................................................................................ 251 Dare, Traveller!............................................................................................... 363 One More Thing.............................................................................................. 381 The Maps......................................................................................................... 389 Swimming to the Airport — 1997 In which a cyclone gives this book and a number of roofs in Fiji a flying start. There's a lot of screaming, but in the end everything turns out just fine. The Doorstep Mile — In my past In which the author is surprised by how he ends up travelling the world despite a childhood in which travel was no joy. Before we take off, we discuss whether travelling in itself really serves any purpose. The Utterly Deep South — 2001 In which the author backpacks aimlessly through Patagonia. Suddenly he discovers a way to get to Antarctica without running the risk of being put forward in the media as a polar explorer. Of course he leaps at the opportunity. In and Out of Africa — 2002 In which the author goes to Southern Africa because it is on his list of things to do before turning thirty. Elke the Brute, the howling skunkbutt cockroach and a fearless pilot apprentice also enliven the tale. Summer in the Pity — 2003 In which the author spends a month getting home from Vladivostok. Most of that month is spent isolated in the company of 147 million Russians. Ten thousand kilometres turn out to be an even longer distance than you'd think. Dare, travellers! — In your future In which the author convinces the reader that the journeys in this book can be done by all who think they are able to do so and most of those who don't. A collection of useful, mostly legal tips and tricks encourages the reader to get going sooner rather than later. Swimming to the Airport The evening outside was turning dark and stormy, like it often does in the beginning of a book. I was on the second floor of the Nadi Motel & Hostel. It was more of the latter, as none of its guests owned a car. Nadi is Fiji's third largest city, and the inn was in the middle of its main street. It's always a busy place, but this evening it was particularly hectic. The electricity had just gone out completely, having wavered to and fro for a couple of hours, like a candle unwilling to die, but which in the end has to give up anyway. Heartrending screams broke through the howling wind in the streets. The rain drummed ever harder on a thousand tin roofs. A cleaning lady sat crying in a corner. She wasn't grieving for the washing line and a row of sheets that had just taken off and disappeared in the general direction of Mexico, like a band of ghosts going on a package holiday. No, she cried because she was scared, scared of the storm that without mercy ravaged the island.