By Debbie Metzler

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A WALK IN THE WOODS By DEBBIE METZLER

CAST OF CHARACTERS (In Order of Appearance) # of lines GOLDILOCKS ...... orphan heroine 98 PAPA BEAR...... skeptical patriarch 29 MAMA BEAR ...... sensible mother 22 BABY BEAR ...... suspicious son 24 JACK HORNER ...... also of beanstalk fame 49 GYPSY ...... grifter 18 BUTCHER ...... protective parent 25 JILL ...... Butcher’s daughter 15 RED RIDING HOOD ...... wolf-weary woodswoman 40 WOLF ...... big and bad 18 BAKER ...... shopkeeper 14 CANDLESTICK MAKER ...... another 16 WITCH ...... evil spell caster 14 GRANDMOTHER ...... Mildred of bad eyesight 8 WOODSMAN ...... remorseful father of Hansel and 18 Gretel HAYWARD PIG ...... the straw builder 17 STICKLY PIG ...... the stick builder 17 MASON PIG...... the brick builder 14 HANSEL ...... young boy 18 GRETEL ...... girl a few years older than Hansel 24

SETTING Various locations in Grimm’s Woods back in fairy-tale time.

SET DESCRIPTION The road in the woods is played in front of the curtain and has a tree and rock DOWN RIGHT, as well as other strategically placed shrubs and trees as desired. The Three Bears’ Cottage has a window UP RIGHT and door UP CENTER. Near the door, there is a hat stand with a hat on it and a fishing pole resting against the wall. A table is CENTER with conspicuously small, medium and large chairs around it. The table is set with small, medium

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and large bowls, three spoons and a candle as the centerpiece. There is a stove RIGHT with a kettle on it and a round rug nearby. Deep in the woods is also played in front of the curtain. Lighting can suggest a dense forest. Add in other trees and rocks, with one rock specifically DOWN CENTER. Grandmother’s Cottage has a door UP CENTER and a window UP RIGHT. There is a bed CENTER with a nightstand and a stool next to the bed and a dresser to one side. There is a radio, a book and a pair of eyeglasses on the nightstand. The Three Little Pigs’ Houses require three flats or cutouts: a house of straw, a house of sticks and a brick house. Each house needs to have a working door and a large window. The window on the brick house has shutters. Construction debris is strewn about the stage. The straw house and the stick house both have a lawn chair in front. The Witch’s Gingerbread House has a door UP CENTER and a window UP RIGHT. The room also has a cage with a set of keys hanging just out of reach from it and a large, black cauldron with a stick in it for stirring. A lid for the cauldron lies nearby. Near the door there’s a cookie jar with a cookie in it. Despite the candy motif, the house has all the charm of a dungeon. NOTE: Since the sets for the Three Bears’ Cottage, Grandmother’s Cottage and the Witch’s Gingerbread House all have a door UP CENTER and a window UP RIGHT, set changes can be simplified by using the same set for each and only changing the décor.

SYNOPSIS OF SCENES Prologue: A road in the woods. Scene One: The Three Bears’ Cottage. Scene Two: A road in the woods. Scene Three: Deep in the woods. Scene Four: A road in the woods. Scene Five: Grandmother’s Cottage. Scene Six: A road in the woods. Scene Seven: The Three Little Pigs’ Houses. Scene Eight: A road in the woods. Scene Nine: Witch’s Gingerbread House. Scene Ten: A road in the woods. Epilogue: A road in the woods.

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A WALK IN THE WOODS

PROLOGUE

1 LIGHTS UP: A road in the woods, played in front of the curtain. GOLDILOCKS ENTERS LEFT and crosses DOWN RIGHT to sit on the rock, oblivious to the presence of the AUDIENCE. She is wearing a red cloak. She unwraps a small biscuit and begins to take a bite, then 5 realizes she is being watched. GOLDILOCKS: (To AUDIENCE.) Oh, my! Where did you come from? (Puts the biscuit back into her pocket.) I didn’t realize you were there. My mother used to say, “Goldilocks”—she called me that because, you know… (Points to her hair.) …the hair. “Goldilocks, 10 it’s not polite to eat in front of others if you haven’t enough to share.” I’d offer you some, but there are, well, several of you, and if we had to split it up, you can imagine how crummy that would be… hah! Crummy—get it? Crumbs? That’s all we’d get? Hah! Uh, well, anyhow… I do hope you’re not too hungry. Food isn’t easy to 15 come by in these woods. In fact, trying to keep from starving can be a full-time job. Seems everyone is searching for something around these parts. But it’s not all gloomy, you understand? Out here, just when you think life is the worst it can get, things begin to look up. Only a few days ago, I was getting pretty desperate

20 until I stumbled onto that cottage up the road. I’ll tell you the story if you have a minute. You do have the time, don’t you? It’s rather an unusual story, but that’s not surprising in these woods. You have heard about Grimm’s Woods, right? No? Well, let me tell you. Ahem… Once upon a— uh, hmmm… once there was a… 25 um… huh, well… long, long ago there lived a… hmmm. I know, close your eyes… Imagine stumbling upon the strangest little cottage with the strangest little family of bears living there. Yes, I said bears! I know it sounds impossible, bears living in a cottage the same way that humans do, but as I said before, nothing is 30 surprising in Grimm’s Woods!

Scene One AT RISE: GOLDILOCKS EXITS RIGHT as the CURTAIN OPENS on the Three Bears’ Cottage. PAPA BEAR is sitting at the table reading the newspaper, MAMA BEAR is near the stove stirring porridge in a kettle and BABY BEAR is putting gumdrop candies on a gingerbread house. 35 PAPA BEAR: Would you look at this? More wolf sightings in the woods, near the village! What a bunch of wackos! Still telling those old wives’ tales about that big bad wolf!

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1 MAMA BEAR: Now, Harry, some of those reports came from some very reliable folks. In fact, Julia Horner was saying her dog chased away a wolf that was trying to steal a plum pie right out of her kitchen window! 5 PAPA BEAR: Yeah, yeah. A wolf named Jack Horner! I caught him sticking his thumb right into the middle of a pie over at the baker’s shop in the village. Little weasel! Hiding in the corner, thinking nobody’d see him. Kid needs a haircut and a job! Besides, those humans get worked up over anything, and it’s no wonder! They sit 10 around telling stories about wicked stepmothers and witches! BABY BEAR: My friend Mason told me they had a terrible time with a wolf. He threatened to huff and puff— PAPA BEAR: And bloooow the house down? Nonsense! (Puts the newspaper down, stands and crosses to MAMA BEAR.) Talking 15 wolves, humph! What next? Dancing frogs? (To MAMA.) Say, watchya making? I’m hungry as a… as a… MAMA BEAR: Bear, dear? Hungry as a bear? PAPA BEAR: Yeah, yeah. I suppose so. Who made that one up, anyway? Those humans must think all we do is eat and hibernate. 20 MAMA BEAR: Well, never mind the humans, dear. I’m fixing your favorite, porridge with just a touch of butter and honey. I thought while it cooled, we could go out and gather some fresh berries for dinner tonight. There are some beautiful blackberries down by

Elder Creek that the blue jays haven’t discovered yet!

25 BABY BEAR: Do I have to go? I’m putting the gumdrops on the witch’s

gingerbread house, and I don’t want the frosting to dry out!

MAMA BEAR: Good heavens! Baby Bear, why on earth are you making a replica of the old witch’s candy house?

BABY BEAR: Well, you said never to go near the witch’s house, no 30 matter how yummy it looked… sooooo, I made my own from gingerbread! MAMA BEAR: As long as you stay far away from the real one! The old witch can’t be trusted. PAPA BEAR: And while we’re on the subject of being eaten, are 35 you planning on helping us eat your mother’s blackberry cobbler tonight? BABY BEAR: I had planned on it. PAPA BEAR: Then you’d better plan on helping us gather the berries! MAMA BEAR: (Brings the porridge to the table and serves it into the 40 small, medium and large bowls.) You know, you haven’t been out much at all lately. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were

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1 going into an early hibernation! You need to get outside, play with your friends, chase some campers, climb some trees! PAPA BEAR: I’ve noticed you haven’t played outside much lately, son. Used to be you were always out fishing at the pond with your 5 friends. Is something wrong? Those wolf tales aren’t getting to you, are they? BABY BEAR: No, no, it’s nothing like that. MAMA BEAR: Then what, Baby Bear? If there’s a problem, perhaps your father and I can help. 10 BABY BEAR: I still like going fishing and all, but… it seems that… well, it seems… PAPA BEAR: Seems what? BABY BEAR: It seems that every time we leave our cabin, weird stuff happens. 15 MAMA BEAR: Weird stuff, dear? PAPA BEAR: Whaddaya mean by weird? BABY BEAR: Things disappear into thin air! MAMA BEAR: Disappear? BABY BEAR: Listen, I know it sounds crazy, but I can prove it. 20 Remember last weekend when we decided to visit Uncle Teddy? (MAMA and PAPA nod in acknowledgment.) Mama had made some bread rolls, and we each had two, right? PAPA BEAR: (Begins counting on his paws.) Yes, yes, two… with butter and jelly!

25 BABY BEAR: Well, I left one of mine, because I thought I’d have it when we returned.

MAMA BEAR: Yes, I remember you saying that you’d have your last

bread roll when we got back. (Looks at PAPA suspiciously and puts her hands on her waist. She stares at him accusingly. PAPA looks at 30 MAMA and shrugs innocently.)

BABY BEAR: (Dramatic.) Well, when we got back, there was no sign of

it anywhere! I think we have a thief that waits for us to leave, then

steals our things while we’re away!

PAPA BEAR: Now wait a minute, son, don’t you think that’s jumping 35 to conclusions? MAMA BEAR: Why, yes, dear, it could have been a mouse, or perhaps a bird flew in the window and found it there! BABY BEAR: We know the birds and the mice—they always ask before they take anything! 40 MAMA BEAR/PAPA BEAR: True, true.

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1 BABY BEAR: That’s not the first time, either. I just have this feeling that someone is… someone is… watching us. (BEAR FAMILY, in unison, looks from LEFT to RIGHT. Meanwhile GOLDILOCKS, no longer wearing the red hood, peeks through the window UP RIGHT, 5 then quickly disappears again.) PAPA BEAR: Now, now! Look at us! We’re getting all worked up just like those silly humans! Let’s get down to Elder Creek and pick those berries! MAMA BEAR: But you don’t think— 10 BABY BEAR: What if…? PAPA BEAR: Ahhh, nonsense! We live in the safest neck of the woods! We’re far enough from the old witch’s house, and the nearest human is half a mile away! MAMA BEAR: You’re right, Papa. It’s probably just these tales 15 everyone is spreading! BABY BEAR: But I— PAPA BEAR: No more tales, son. Let’s get goin’! (Takes his hat from the stand.) BABY BEAR: Oh, all right! But don’t say I didn’t warn you! 20 PAPA BEAR: Come along, everyone. Let’s get to those berries! (ALL EXIT UP CENTER. After a moment, BABY BEAR REENTERS, takes the

fishing pole from near the door and hurries back OUT.)

GOLDILOCKS: (After a beat, ENTERS UP CENTER. She wears a tattered calico dress and is barefoot. She cautiously heads for the table. She 25 takes a long whiff of the porridge, then sticks her finger into PAPA’S bowl to check the temperature. She pulls her hand out quickly, and as she does, she spies the gingerbread house on the table.) Hmm, where have I seen this cottage? (Plucks the gumdrop candies from the house and puts them into her pockets. Then she roams about

30 the cottage.) I wonder where they’ve gone this time? (Yawns.) I’m so tired… and hungry! (Moves to PAPA BEAR’S large chair.) This chair was made for a giant! (Sits in MAMA BEAR’S chair and takes a spoonful of porridge.) Too cold! I’ll try this one! (Gets up and sits in BABY BEAR’S chair and takes a bite of porridge.) Perfect! 35 (Begins to eat voraciously.) Just like Mother used to make. (Sits and contemplates this for a moment, obviously missing her mother. She yawns, stretches and slowly gets up.) Oh, my, am I tired! (She sees a candle on the table. She takes it and makes her way to the bedroom OFF RIGHT.) Now, which bed did I like best? (She’s OUT.) 40 MAMA BEAR: (ENTERS UP CENTER with PAPA BEAR.) Wasn’t Elder Creek absolutely beautiful today? That was the most pleasant walk we’ve had in a while!

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1 PAPA BEAR: Nothing like fresh air to clear the lungs! And who would have thought we’d come home with a bonus. (BABY BEAR ENTERS UP CENTER looking very pleased with fishing pole and a large fish on a line, slung over his shoulder.) That’s quite a fish, Baby Bear! 5 Let me take a look at it! (Takes line and fish to admire.)

MAMA BEAR: My goodness, yes! Papa Bear, would you light the candle on the table, please?

PAPA BEAR: Sure, dear. (Looks for the candle, including under the table, but finds nothing.)

10 BABY BEAR: It’s gone, isn’t it? See, I told you so! (Looks at gingerbread

house and suddenly notices absence of gumdrops.) Hey! Look!

(MAMA and PAPA BEAR look at the gingerbread house.) It’s missing the gumdrops! You saw me put them on! MAMA BEAR: And someone has been eating your porridge! 15 BABY BEAR: It’s all gone! PAPA BEAR: (Looks about, now holds the fish up like a baseball bat.) Something fishy is going on around here. BABY BEAR: I told you! I told you that weird things keep happening, but you didn’t believe me! You thought I was just— 20 PAPA BEAR: Shhh! I hear something!

GOLDILOCKS: (ENTERS RIGHT.) How long have I been asleep? I’d better

get out of here before the bears return! (Spots the BEARS and screams. The BEARS scream along with her. A choreographed chase ensues, during which GOLDILOCKS crawls under and races around 25 the table, as PAPA BEAR swings at her with the fish. GOLDILOCKS nearly mows down BABY BEAR as she runs OUT UP CENTER with MAMA and PAPA BEAR chasing close behind. BABY BEAR is left alone.) BABY BEAR: Hey, Mama! Papa! Wait for me! (EXITS UP CENTER. 30 CURTAIN DOWN.) End of Scene One

Scene Two LIGHTS UP: Along the road in the woods, played in front of the curtain. GYPSY ENTERS LEFT with JACK, who is examining some dry beans in his hand. JACK: Are you sure these beans are magical? I mean, I did give you 35 our cow for them. GYPSY: Yes, my son! They are magical! Why are you so distrustful of an old woman?

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1 JACK: It’s not you, exactly. It’s my mother. She thinks I act a little too quickly, says I’m impulsive, I don’t think first! Maybe she’s right? I’ve been in a lot of tight spots lately! GYPSY: Believe me, these magical beans will get you out of all the 5 tough spots you have found yourself in, and your mother will be so happy when she is a rich woman! They are good luck! BUTCHER: (ENTERS RIGHT with his daughter, JILL. She has tousled, grass-strewn hair, one sock up, the other down, and looks like she’s had a tumble. BUTCHER is carrying a meat cleaver and is obviously

10 angry.) Jack! Jack Horner, is that you?!

JACK: Uh-oh! These beans better work fast! (Jumps behind GYPSY.)

BUTCHER: I see you, you… you lousy—

JILL: Cheater!

BUTCHER: Cheater!

15 JILL: Pumpkin eater! BUTCHER: Pumpkin— (Looks at JILL.) Huh? (To JACK.) You lousy little— GYPSY: There, there, what has the boy done that is so terrible? BUTCHER: I sent him up the hill with my daughter Jill here, to fetch a lousy pail of water—that’s all, water—to make some soup. Is that 20 so much to ask? JILL: Certainly not! BUTCHER: Now, I realize my daughter can be a little competitive and all… (JACK and JILL do a quick rock-paper-scissors.) …and she loves to win, but that no good— 25 JILL: Cheater! BUTCHER: —cheater decides to race her up the hill! GYPSY: Ahh, but they are children, and children play these kinds of games, yes? JACK: Yes! It was a game, that was all! 30 JILL: I would have won if you hadn’t tripped me! BUTCHER: My daughter… (Holds up cleaver to JACK.) …always wins! JACK: (To JILL.) You tripped over your own two feet! GYPSY: Perhaps your daughter, she is a, a… how do you say? A klutz?

JILL: I am no klutz! He fell down—

35 JACK: (Holds his head.) Nearly broke my crown!

BUTCHER: And my poor Jill, she came tumbling after!

GYPSY: But why did she fall? (ALL are silent and look to one another for an explanation.)

JACK/GYPSY: Klutz!

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1 BUTCHER: Why you! You! (Chase ensues around GYPSY, then BUTCHER, JILL and JACK race OFF RIGHT.) GYPSY: Don’t forget to use your magic beans, Jack! (To the AUDIENCE.) Magic beans… hee-hee, what a knucklehead! Here, Bessy! Come 5 along, little moo-cow! (SOUND EFFECT: COW MOOING. GYPSY EXITS LEFT. BLACKOUT.)

End of Scene Two

Scene Three

LIGHTS UP LOW: Deep in the woods at evening, played in front of the

curtain. SOUND EFFECT: CRICKETS CHIRPING. RED RIDING HOOD

ENTERS LEFT carrying a basket, walking slowly and looking about.

10 WOLF howls from OFF LEFT. RED RIDING HOOD looks over her shoulder

in the direction of the howl, then spies the rock DOWN CENTER and

crosses to it. She exhaustedly puts her basket down, sits and pulls

out an apple, which she is too tired to eat. She rests her head upon

the rock and closes her eyes. The apple drops into her lap as she falls 15 asleep. GOLDILOCKS runs ON RIGHT, looking behind her. She spots RED RIDING HOOD napping. GOLDILOCKS takes one last look RIGHT to see if the BEARS are behind her, then turns her full attention to RED RIDING HOOD. She sees the apple that has fallen in RED RIDING HOOD’s lap. She carefully attempts to take the apple. 20 RED RIDING HOOD: (Wakes and jumps to her feet.) Aaah! Who are you? What do you want?! GOLDILOCKS: (Interrupts, trying desperately to stifle the commotion lest the BEARS hear.) I’m, um, I’m sorry! What I mean is, I’m, um, um, Goldilocks— 25 RED RIDING HOOD: What were you doing?! What do you want?! GOLDILOCKS: Nothing, really! Please don’t scream, they’ll hear you! W-what I mean is, I am so sorry I frightened you! RED RIDING HOOD: Good heavens! You nearly scared me to death! (To herself.) Death? Did I say death? Oh, why do I say these things?

30 GOLDILOCKS: Truly, I am sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. I was

hungry and— RED RIDING HOOD: And you thought you’d steal something from

me? How was I supposed to know you weren’t some frightening

creature skulking about, waiting to pounce and eat me? (To 35 herself.) Did I say that out loud? Oooh, why do I say these things? (To GOLDILOCKS.) As if there isn’t enough to worry about in these woods. You know, you didn’t have to try to steal my food. I would have given you something if only you’d asked.

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1 GOLDILOCKS: Again, I am very sorry. I suppose I haven’t had much luck finding generous souls like you lately. RED RIDING HOOD: Well, honestly, it doesn’t take much to frighten me. I absolutely dread walking in these woods—especially this 5 time of the evening. (SOUND EFFECT: TWIG SNAPS.) What was that noise? GOLDILOCKS: I didn’t hear anything. RED RIDING HOOD: Probably my own knees knocking together. Did I hear you say your name is Goldilocks? That’s a rather peculiar 10 name. GOLDILOCKS: Well, yes and no. My name is actually Golda, but I have this hair, and well, you know how mothers can be.

RED RIDING HOOD: Why, yes, I had one once. She called me Red

Riding Hood. How’s that for a silly name? She made me this cloak.

15 My real mother is gone. I have a stepmother now.

GOLDILOCKS: My mother is gone as well. (Looks back cautiously to see if there is any sign of the BEARS.)

RED RIDING HOOD: You keep looking behind you. Are you waiting for

someone?

20 GOLDILOCKS: Not exactly, but I am running from someone. RED RIDING HOOD: Oh? Who? GOLDILOCKS: Three bears! RED RIDING HOOD: Bears?! Three?! Oh, great! My stepmother warned me about wolves lurking about, but she never mentioned bears! 25 GOLDILOCKS: Wolves? Have you seen any wolves in these woods? RED RIDING HOOD: Not with my own eyes, but I have a neighbor who swears he saw one prowling around his chicken coop! Stepmother tells me every evening about the wolves listening with their big ears and watching with their big glowing eyes… (Pauses, thoughtfully.) … 30 and then she hands me a basket filled with fruit and freshly baked bread, then sends me out in this bright red cloak to Grandmother’s house all the way across the forest! (Suspicious.) Say? Do you think…? GOLDILOCKS: Your stepmother sends you out into Grimm’s Woods 35 at dusk? That does seem a little curious. Why not leave in the morning so you can make your trip by the light of day?

RED RIDING HOOD: She says it’s because there are so many chores

to be done. Chop the wood, get the pies to market, milk the cow, churn the butter—well, you get it. Only my stepmother and I are 40 left, so it takes us all day long to get the chores done. And, if I don’t make the trip, my grandmother will starve. She’s not well.

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1 Her eyesight and hearing are very poor these days. (GOLDILOCKS sits, holding her stomach.) Are you all right? GOLDILOCKS: Yes… just… well, all this talk of starving and all. I’ve been so busy running from bears, I forgot I haven’t eaten all day 5 except a small bowl of porridge. RED RIDING HOOD: You look a little pale—and goodness! Where are your shoes? (Sits next to GOLDILOCKS.) Have you no cloak either? You’ll catch your death of cold! (To herself.) Did I say death? Eww, I wish I hadn’t said that word. (To GOLDILOCKS.) Um, here… (Takes 10 some cookies from the basket and hands them to GOLDILOCKS.) GOLDILOCKS: (Devours them immediately.) Thank you. That’s marvelous. RED RIDING HOOD: Where do you live? GOLDILOCKS: Here… there… anywhere. (Hesitant.) Nowhere really. 15 RED RIDING HOOD: Have you run away? Where is your family? GOLDILOCKS: All gone. I am all that’s left. I’ve lived on my own in these woods nearly two years now. RED RIDING HOOD: Two years?! Oh, my, you must think I’m ridiculous complaining about a silly walk in the woods. I must seem quite 20 the coward. GOLDILOCKS: Not at all. Even I don’t travel these woods after dark. Probably why we’ve never met. If it hadn’t been for those bears… RED RIDING HOOD: How do you do it? Is it hard for you living all alone?

25 GOLDILOCKS: Well, not completely alone. In the winter, I find shelter

under a drafty porch or in an abandoned cottage. Usually, I share

my space with the field mice and spiders. Food is hard to find in

the winter for all of us. In the spring and summer, though, I can

gather wild berries down at Elder Creek, sleep under the pines,

and listen to the wind rush through the treetops. The stars are 30 spectacular at night, and when I lie on my back and gaze at them

for hours, all of the loneliness goes away.

RED RIDING HOOD: You’re so brave to live out here on your own. (WOLF ENTERS RIGHT, tiptoeing.) I am such a coward. The slightest 35 snap of a twig makes my heart pound! (SOUND EFFECT: TWIG SNAPS. RED RIDING HOOD reacts. WOLF FREEZES and poses like a tree, hoping to remain unseen. After a moment, WOLF SNEAKS behind a tree UP RIGHT CENTER.) W-what was th-that? GOLDILOCKS: Could be anything. Squirrels, birds, rabbits… 40 RED RIDING HOOD: Wolves? Could it be wolves? Stepmother told me about their big yellow eyes and sharp fangs! She said they can hear you breathing from a mile away!

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1 GOLDILOCKS: Honestly, I think those are just stories told to keep young children in their beds at night! I’ve not seen any such creatures in the time I have been living in these woods. (Looks about, not completely convinced of her own words. WOLF moves behind a second tree UP LEFT CENTER. SOUND EFFECT: TWIG 5 SNAPS.)

RED RIDING HOOD: Did you hear that? (Clings to GOLDILOCKS.) GOLDILOCKS: You walk these woods every night yet you’re still so terrified? 10 RED RIDING HOOD: I know it must seem silly. In the evening, as the shadows deepen and I’m on my way home, it’s as though I can hear these woods whispering all around me. I light my candle and

start out walking, but then I feel a cold breeze on the back of my neck! I tell myself it’s only the wind, but the next thing I know my 15 legs are moving faster and faster, my candle is no longer lit, and I am running from… (WOLF is frightened by the story. He looks about and shudders.) …from …well, of course, I wouldn’t know, because I’m too petrified to look back. All I can think about is getting home as fast as I can! When I do get home, my heart is racing! It takes 20 me hours to calm myself. I love my grandmother, but I don’t know how much more of this nightly torture I can take!

GOLDILOCKS: I see. (Thinks.) You say you go to your grandmother’s

house every night?

RED RIDING HOOD: Every night. Same time.

25 GOLDILOCKS: Well, I have an idea that might be helpful to both of us. What if I were to take the basket to your grandmother’s house? You did say that she doesn’t see or hear well anymore. (WOLF peeks out from behind the tree, just visible to the AUDIENCE.)

RED RIDING HOOD: She recognizes me only by the red cloak I wear, 30 though she does still like the company. I suppose your plan could

work, but I have nothing to give you for such a generous offer.

GOLDILOCKS: But you do. Perhaps you could include an extra apple and some fresh bread in the basket? I wouldn’t need much, really. I’d be good company for your grandmother. I could look out for her. 35 Winter’s coming soon, and I’ll need shelter. I’m so tired of worrying about where I’ll get my next meal, or whether there’s even going to be one! Will you consider it? RED RIDING HOOD: Well, it certainly would solve both of our problems. (After a moment.) Yes! I think it’s a wonderful idea! We shall meet 40 at this very spot every evening. Here. (Removes her shoes and gives them to GOLDILOCKS, who puts them on.) You must take these if you are to travel this path every night. GOLDILOCKS: But what will you wear? 10 NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS

1 RED RIDING HOOD: I have a cobbler friend in the village. I’ll trade some cream and fresh eggs for a new pair. Besides, I’ve nearly outgrown these. (WOLF prepares to pounce.) PAPA BEAR: (From OFF RIGHT.) Over here! I think she went this way! 5 (WOLF reacts and runs OFF LEFT.) GOLDILOCKS: Oh, dear! The bears! I can’t let them find me! RED RIDING HOOD: Bears?! Oh, my! Take this… (Removes her cloak and puts it over GOLDILOCKS with the hood up, covering all of her hair. [NOTE: GOLDILOCKS wears this cloak the rest of the play.]) 10 MAMA BEAR: (ENTERS RIGHT with PAPA BEAR and BABY BEAR.) You there! You two humans! RED RIDING HOOD: Huh? Um… uh… Are you speaking t-to us, m-ma’am? PAPA BEAR: Do you see any other humans around? 15 RED RIDING HOOD: N-no, Mr…. um, Mr. Bear. MAMA BEAR: Have you seen a girl with yellow curls and bare feet pass this way? RED RIDING HOOD: N-n-no, ma’am. I am the only one here with no shoes upon m-my f-feet, but as you can see, m-my hair is brown. 20 W-what do you want w-with this girl? PAPA BEAR: She is a thief! She crept into our home and stole from us, and she must be taught a lesson! RED RIDING HOOD: (Looks at GOLDILOCKS, softly, then composes herself.) Perhaps she suffers already. What did she steal from you? 25 MAMA BEAR: Well, a bit of homemade porridge. PAPA BEAR: With butter and honey! BABY BEAR: And she stole a nap on my bed! RED RIDING HOOD: I see. (After a moment, reaches into basket.) Take this honey as payment for what this young girl has taken. (To BABY 30 BEAR.) I’m afraid I’m unable to repay the nap, but, um, if I see her, I will tell her there are better ways to get food and rest. PAPA BEAR: (Sniffs GOLDILOCKS suspiciously.) Why is your friend so quiet?

RED RIDING HOOD: What better way to learn than to listen? 35 PAPA BEAR: I suppose. (Still eyes GOLDILOCKS.) We’d better get home before nightfall.

BABY BEAR: Humans… humph! (BEARS EXIT RIGHT. RED RIDING HOOD nearly faints after her encounter. GOLDILOCKS keeps her

upright.)

40 GOLDILOCKS: You may not be the bravest girl in all the woods, but you

certainly can think on your feet! (After a moment.) But that bear’s

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1 right. I am a thief. When people see me, they shake their heads. I know what they’re all thinking, poor little orphan, has to steal her food, steal her shelter and steal her sleep. That’s the worst part about being alone in these woods. 5 RED RIDING HOOD: That’s not what I think. I think you’ve done the best you can to survive on your own and there’s a lot of good in you, Golda. After all, it was you who came up with the terrific idea that will help us both! (WOLF REENTERS LEFT and hides behind a tree again.) 10 GOLDILOCKS: (Slightly renewed.) I suppose. Well, then, speaking of ideas, I’d better get directions to your grandmother’s house if I’m going to make that delivery! (WOLF takes out a pencil and notebook to write directions.) RED RIDING HOOD: Simply follow this lane until it comes to a dead 15 end. (To herself.) Oohh, there’s that awful word again! I’ve got to stop doing that! (To GOLDILOCKS.) You’ll see a small cottage on your right. That is hers. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow around dusk? (During the following dialogue, WOLF puts away notebook and pencil and sneaks OFF RIGHT.) 20 GOLDILOCKS: Tomorrow! Same time! (Begins to remove the cloak.) Oh, here is your cloak… RED RIDING HOOD: Please keep it. Remember, Grandmother knows me by the red cloak. She may be frightened by a stranger.

GOLDILOCKS: Well, then, don’t forget this. (Pulls out the apple.) You

25 may get hungry on the road back.

RED RIDING HOOD: You keep it! I’m not so hungry anymore! GOLDILOCKS: Thanks! RED RIDING HOOD: Thank you! Good luck! Good-bye! (EXITS LEFT.) GOLDILOCKS: (Turns to EXIT RIGHT. SOUND EFFECT: TWIG SNAPS 30 OFF RIGHT. She stops and looks around.) Who’s there? Is someone there? (Seeing that no one is present, she pulls the red cloak around her neck, then turns and EXITS RIGHT as LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.) End of Scene Three

Scene Four

LIGHTS UP: Still in the evening along the road in the woods, played

in front of the curtain. JACK comes bursting ON RIGHT, followed by 35 BUTCHER, BAKER and CANDLESTICK MAKER, their shouts overlapping one another. BUTCHER waves his meat cleaver in the air, BAKER a rolling pin.

BUTCHER: Get back here, knave!

BAKER: You won’t get away, boy!

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1 CANDLESTICK MAKER: Catch him! JACK: (Stumbles and is soon surrounded.) What do you want with me? What have I done?! BUTCHER: Oooh, plenty! Plenty!

5 BAKER: Yes, I’d say so. Plenty!

CANDLESTICK MAKER: We have been sent to serve you with a decree

from the king’s sheriff!

BUTCHER: Yes, yes, an important decree! I should say, boy.

CANDLESTICK MAKER: We, Butcher, Baker and Candlestick Maker, 10 have formally taken our complaints to the proper authorities.

BUTCHER: The proper authorities, indeed!

BAKER: These include charges against Jack for putting a thumb into

my beautiful plum pie. (Whimpers.)

JACK: But I did no such thing!

15 CANDLESTICK MAKER: You are Jack, are you not?

JACK: I am, yes, but— BUTCHER: Of course, he is! He is the one who caused my daughter Jill to tumble! JACK: It was an accident! 20 CANDLESTICK MAKER: And as you were running away from the scene of the pie pillaging, you jumped over a candlestick, knocking it over, and nearly burnt down my shop! Did you not? JACK: But I never stuck my thumb into any pie! There are lots of Jacks in the village! 25 BUTCHER: Enough! BAKER: According to the decree, you are to return with us for a trial or be banished to Grimm’s Woods, never to return to the village again! JACK: What?! For crimes I have not committed? 30 BAKER: We have the sheriff’s orders! JACK: The sheriff? I am to be tried by a giant egg?

CANDLESTICK MAKER: Shall we add treason to the charges?! He is not just an egg.

BUTCHER: He’s a good egg!

35 JACK: Of course, he’s an egg! He can do nothing for himself and can

only sit upright two days out of every year! Why, it was only last

month that he fell off the wall yet again!

BAKER: It was tragic! BUTCHER: All the king’s horses… 40 CANDLESTICK MAKER: …and all the king’s men… 13 For preview only

1 BAKER: You must come with us! (Reaches out to grab JACK, but misses.) JACK: Stand back! Stand back or I’ll… I’ll… (Remembers the magic beans and pulls them out.) …I’ll throw these magic beans and cast 5 a powerful spell upon you! BUTCHER: Magic beans? JACK: They possess a powerful magic that will turn all of you into toads! CANDLESTICK MAKER: (To OTHERS.) Perhaps we should be concerned 10 about these magic beans? BUTCHER: I have heard tales of such things.

BAKER: If we become toads, I will be forced to eat flies! I hate flies! (Whimpers.)

BUTCHER: Then there is but one solution!

15 CANDLESTICK MAKER: Get him!

JACK: I warned you! (Throws beans, which go bouncing across the

stage. SHOPKEEPERS FREEZE as if the magic has worked. After a

beat, they realize they are neither frozen nor frogs.)

CANDLESTICK MAKER: Get him again! (Chase ensues. Then, WITCH 20 CACKLES from OFF LEFT. The SHOPKEEPERS stop in their tracks DOWN LEFT, and JACK jumps behind a tree.)

BAKER: It’s a witch!

BUTCHER: Quickly! We must get out of these woods! (WITCH blindly ENTERS LEFT, guided by a walking stick, and moves RIGHT.)

25 CANDLESTICK MAKER: What about the boy? BAKER: He’s banished anyway! Let’s go! (SHOPKEEPERS run OFF RIGHT.) WITCH: Rub a dub dub, Three fools in a tub!

30 And who might you think they’d be? (Sniffs, as if knowing the scent of each.) Hmm, the butcher, the baker, yes, yes… And the candlestick maker! Turn them out! Knaves all three! (Cackles. She steps on a bean and bends to pick it up.) What’s this? A bean? (Smells it.) But not 35 any bean! A magic bean! What a treasure this will be for my stew! (Cackles and EXITS LEFT.) JACK: (Comes out of hiding and picks up a few remaining beans.) They are magic. I knew it! (WITCH cackles again from OFF LEFT. This startles JACK, who EXITS RIGHT quickly. BLACKOUT.) End of Scene Four

14 NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS

Scene Five 1 CURTAIN UP: Grandmother’s Cottage in the waning light of day. WOLF rummages through the dresser as GRANDMOTHER snores away in the bed. WOLF pulls large pantaloons out of dresser and holds them up to the AUDIENCE. He then pulls out a bra, tilts his head to one 5 side, then casts it aside as well. Finally, he puts on a nightgown and a nightcap, then sneaks over to GRANDMOTHER. WOLF attempts to gain GRANDMOTHER’S attention first by clearing his throat. She continues to snore. Then, he picks up a book from the nightstand and loudly reads a sentence from that. She snores. He turns on the radio 10 and cranks the volume up. SOUND EFFECT: LOUD MUSIC. Again, no reaction. WOLF sneezes. GRANDMOTHER: (Awakens.) Bless you. WOLF: Oh, thank you. GRANDMOTHER: A slight cold? (Squints.) 15 WOLF: No, no, allergies. GRANDMOTHER: There, there. I’ll get you some eucalyptus tea for that. Wait right here. Now, what did I do with my glasses? (Searches her nightstand, puts on her glasses, looks over at WOLF. Pause.) Oh, my! (Smacks WOLF with her pillow. Pause. WOLF smacks GRANDMA with 20 another pillow. A full-blown pillow fight ensues with both characters standing on the bed. Finally, GRANDMA jumps down, and WOLF chases her around the room and OFF UP CENTER. WOLF, exhausted, RETURNS and plops into bed, straightens the nightcap and pulls the blankets up under his chin.) 25 GOLDILOCKS: (Peeks IN from UP CENTER.) Grandmother? Grandmother, I’m here! I’ve brought you food and tea. I hope you’re feeling well. WOLF: Ahem… Hello, deary. GOLDILOCKS: (ENTERS UP CENTER with basket, wearing the shoes and red cloak, and crosses to sit on the stool next to the bed. When 30 she sees WOLF, she turns and makes a face to the AUDIENCE.) You’re looking, uh, well… are you hungry? WOLF: Yeah. (Voice cracks.) Ahem, why, yes, as a matter of fact I am. GOLDILOCKS: I have fresh cheese and biscuits, or perhaps you’d prefer some fruit? 35 WOLF: Those are all very lovely, deary, but I seem to be craving something else. GOLDILOCKS: I’m afraid I haven’t much else in my basket.

WOLF: There are always other choices, my dear. Perhaps we should

look beyond your basket?

40 GOLDILOCKS: (Suspicious.) I’m not sure what you mean. Your eyes, they seem unusually luminous, yellow and large tonight.

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1 WOLF: Better that I may see you in this dim light, deary. GOLDILOCKS: So your vision is better? And your ears? They too seem large and a bit fuzzy, if I may say so. WOLF: (Snickers.) Ah, yes, that I may hear the sweet, familiar sound of 5 your breathing from a mile away, my dear. GOLDILOCKS: A mile? Oh, my. That’s rather remarkable for a person your age. (Rises and backs slowly toward the door.) Your teeth, I have never seen any so pointed and sharp. I suppose they are used for more than just biscuits and tea? 10 WOLF: Indeed, my dear, what a bright young girl your mother has raised. (Moves toward GOLDILOCKS.) Too bad though, that she never taught you about the wolves in these woods! (Pounces and chases GOLDILOCKS around the cottage. He finally corners GOLDILOCKS.) 15 GRANDMOTHER: (ENTERS UP CENTER with WOODSMAN, who wears a quiver with a flyswatter in it.) There he is! That fiend! And he’s after my granddaughter!

WOODSMAN: (In over-the-top, “hero” voice.) Unhand her, you wicked beast! I had only heard tales of such creatures! Away with you! Back 20 to the nightmare from which you came! (GRANDMOTHER faints and falls to the bed. GOLDILOCKS rushes to her side. WOODSMAN pulls the flyswatter from his quiver.) Bad dog! You’re a bad, bad dog! (WOLF sees flyswatter and defends himself. WOODSMAN wins the battle, swatting and chasing WOLF until he runs OFF UP CENTER. 25 WOODSMAN holds his flyswatter aloft like a trusty sword, then

places it confidently back into the quiver. Turns to GOLDILOCKS and GRANDMOTHER.) Are you ladies all right?

GOLDILOCKS: I’m fine, but I’m afraid she’s rather shaken. (Pulls the

covers up under GRANDMOTHER’S chin.)

30 WOODSMAN: For an elderly woman in such frail condition, it must have taken all her strength to find help. It was fortunate that I was

in the woods nearby. I am rarely in these parts.

GOLDILOCKS: You aren’t from these woods? Was it all the talk of

wolves lately that brought you here?

35 WOODSMAN: If only it were so. My business in these woods devours me more readily than any cowardly wolf.

GOLDILOCKS: What does bring you here, if not the wolves? WOODSMAN: Loneliness, guilt, loss. They bring me here to these woods. They are far greater foes than mere wolves. Soon I am 40 afraid they will consume me completely. GOLDILOCKS: Why? You seem good, noble and certainly brave.

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1 WOODSMAN: Your words are kind, but do not waste them on me, for there was a time when I was blinded by beauty. I loved a woman who loved only herself, and for that, I have lost my children. GOLDILOCKS: You have children? 5 WOODSMAN: Had. Two beautiful children, a boy and a girl. That is the reason I am in these woods. I am searching for them. GOLDILOCKS: Why did they run away? WOODSMAN: They didn’t run away. I tricked them. They trusted me, their own father, and I tricked them. I left them… alone… in these 10 horrible woods. GOLDILOCKS: I can’t believe you would be capable of such a thing! There must be more to your story. WOODSMAN: Our family fell on hard times. I had no work, and there was very little food left in the house, not even flour to make a loaf 15 of bread. Soon, it was clear we would all perish from starvation. GOLDILOCKS: That’s a very common story in these woods.

WOODSMAN: Lucretia, the children’s stepmother, suggested that we leave the children in the forest. She said they would have a better chance to survive here. It made perfect sense at the time. While

20 the children slept deep in the forest, I crept away. (Kneels.) Not exactly an act of bravery. When I returned, I found Lucretia dining on a bowl of porridge. She had hidden the grain away in order to keep herself alive! Even while all of us starved, she knew that sack of grain was there!

25 GOLDILOCKS: It must have been painful.

WOODSMAN: Painfully foolish! Two weeks passed. I could no longer stand the thought of my children alone in the woods while Lucretia

whistled merrily and grew fat on the stores of food she had hidden.

So, I returned to the place where I had last seen them, and I have

30 been searching ever since.

GOLDILOCKS: And your wife? Has she changed her ways? Does she

want the children back?

WOODSMAN: I have heard that fever and illness have taken her life

in these nine weeks that I have been gone. It is I who want them

35 back. But, it may be too late. I do not deserve them anyway.

GOLDILOCKS: But you saved our lives! Maybe I can help. I know these woods very well. I have survived here without a mother or father. There is still hope that your children are out there. Where did you last see them? 40 WOODSMAN: (Hopeful.) What I would give to see them again! Their names are Hansel and Gretel. We camped near Elder Creek. If they live, I know they will be together. They were inseparable. I will

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1 search the woods to the west. If you find them, please send them into the village. I have made arrangements to stay in the spare room above old man Dressler’s mercantile. He has promised me work. The children will never be hungry again. 5 GOLDILOCKS: I will find them, and I will send them to you. WOODSMAN: (Looks out window.) It looks as though your intruder is gone for now, but lock your doors and windows and take care of your grandmother. GOLDILOCKS: I will take care of her, though she is not my grandmother. 10 My name is Goldilocks. I have promised a friend that I would take care of her. You see, I, too, know the pain of loss and hunger. (Beat.) Thank you for saving my life. WOODSMAN: (Opens door.) My pleasure. Though, there is one more thing— 15 GOLDILOCKS: Yes? WOODSMAN: I’ll understand if the children choose not to join me. After all, I did betray their trust. But please, if you find them, tell them that I love them. Good night. (EXITS UP CENTER.) GRANDMOTHER: (Weakly.) Little Red Riding Hood? My dearest, are 20 you still there? GOLDILOCKS: (Returns to GRANDMOTHER’s side.) I’m here, Grandma, I’m here. You were very brave, and now you need some rest. I’ll keep watch until morning. Sleep now. (Strokes GRANDMOTHER’S forehead and sits on the stool.) Elder Creek? I know that area very

25 well! GRANDMOTHER: Bless you, Red Riding Hood. (LIGHTS FADE, CURTAIN DOWN.) End of Scene Five

Scene Six LIGHTS UP: Along the road in the woods, played in front of the curtain. JACK ENTERS RIGHT and runs across the stage, chased by BUTCHER, 30 BAKER and CANDLESTICK MAKER. The BUTCHER and BAKER still wave their cleaver and rolling pin respectively. They EXIT LEFT, then the SHOPKEEPERS REENTER LEFT followed by the THREE BEARS, who chase them OFF RIGHT. JACK ENTERS LEFT, laughing at the SHOPKEEPERS, and sits on a rock. As his back is turned, JILL ENTERS 35 RIGHT and taps him on the shoulder. He takes off running LEFT, and she pursues him. They EXIT LEFT then REENTER immediately, pursued

by WOLF, still wearing nightgown and nightcap. WOLF gets tired and

sits for a moment, huffing and puffing, as JACK and JILL continue OFF RIGHT. WOODSMAN ENTERS LEFT, pulls out his trusty flyswatter and

18 NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS

1 chases WOLF OFF RIGHT. (NOTE: If more time is needed for the set change, the chase sequence may be extended as needed.) End of Scene Six

Scene Seven CURTAIN UP: Early evening at the Three Little Pigs’ Houses. HAYWARD and STICKLY sit in lawn chairs in front of their newly completed homes. 5 HAYWARD wears a cowboy hat. They are drinking lemonade, watching MASON add the finishing touches to his brick house, dabbing the trim with a paintbrush from a small can of paint. STICKLY: Look at it, Hayward. You’d think Mason was tryin’ to fend off the king’s army with that fortress!

10 HAYWARD: (Laughs and snorts.) Yeah, the king’s army! That’s a good one, Stickly!

MASON: Go ahead and laugh, Stickly. It wouldn’t take more than an

army of ants to walk off with your house of sticks!

HAYWARD: (Laughs and snorts.) Hah! An army of ants! Get it, Stickly?

15 That’s a good one, Mason!

STICKLY: (Knocks HAYWARD’S hat off.) Stop snortin’, Hayward!

MASON: Speaking of ants, haven’t either of you ever heard the story of the ants and the grasshopper? The grasshopper scoffed at the hard-working ants as they planned and gathered food for the

20 winter, while the lazy grasshopper sat about doing nothing at all? Seem familiar at all? Hmm?!

STICKLY: Yeah, yeah. I suppose that’s all fine and good if you’re speaking of mere insects! But we’re intelligent beings, ain’t we, Hayward? 25 HAYWARD: Smarter’n dogs, they say! STICKLY: Besides, truffles are available all year long!

HAYWARD: Good one, Stickly! (Snorts and laughs.)

MASON: Do wolves count as dogs? All you two ever think about is food! We’re not in the village anymore. These stories of wolves in 30 Grimm’s Woods are no laughing matter! Hayward, your house of straw won’t keep you safe from such a creature! HAYWARD: (Suddenly unamused, crosses to MASON.) You didn’t say nothing about no wolves, Stickly! STICKLY: (Joins the OTHERS.) Oh, don’t let the old hambone scare ya! 35 Those are just wives’ tales. We’ve lived in these woods for a while now, and I, for one, can say that I have never, ever, seen a real live wolf around these parts!

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1 HAYWARD: Yeah, Mason, never, ever! Hmph! (Suddenly, WOLF RUNS IN RIGHT and slides to a halt, facing the AUDIENCE. He is huffing and puffing from being pursued. HAYWARD, STICKLY and MASON, now standing in a row, cover their eyes, ears and mouth, respectively. 5 WOLF turns slowly, then raises his hands to terrorize the PIGS.)

MASON: Run! (PIGS run into their respective houses, where they can

be seen through a window in each.)

WOLF: (Moves to HAYWARD’S house, reaches into a pocket and pulls

out a sheet of paper. Deliberately unfolds it and reads with precise 10 enunciation.) Ahem… Little pig, little pig, let me come in!

HAYWARD: (Leans out the window and looks at STICKLY.) Huh?

STICKLY: (To HAYWARD.) Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!

HAYWARD: Oh, yeah. (To WOLF.) Not by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin!

WOLF: Than I shall huff and puff and blow your house in!

15 HAYWARD: (Snorts with laughter as the WOLF blows.) Oh, go on!

You can’t blow this house— (House collapses [SEE PRODUCTION NOTES.] and WOLF chases HAYWARD.) STICKLY: Over here, Hayward, quickly! (HAYWARD runs to STICKLY’S house.) 20 WOLF: Why don’t you make this easy on yourselves? Your house of sticks is no match for my strength. Why, I once blew a house like yours into the next county! Come out, piggly-wigglies. Maybe we can make a deal. STICKLY: You’re full of hot air all right, but we’re not comin’ out. We 25 know what you’re up to! We’re smarter than dogs, you know! WOLF: Yes, hot dogs, perhaps. Come out, my little bacon bits! Let’s make this easy. HAYWARD: No way! We’ve heard the tales! WOLF: Oh, all right, if you insist! We’ll do it the hard way! (Reads from 30 the paper again.) Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in! (MASON motions the brothers over to his cottage. Meanwhile, bored with the rhyme, WOLF turns toward the AUDIENCE and mouths the PIGS’ following response.)

HAYWARD/STICKLY: Not by the hair on our chinny-chin-chins! (They 35 sneak over to the brick house.)

WOLF: (Still out to AUDIENCE, bored.) Then I’ll huff and I’ll puff and

I’ll… (Turns to see PIGS are safely in brick house.) I’ll… I’ll get you,

you blasted pigs! I’ve lost my patience with you! (Shakes door of

MASON’S house.) Let me in! (Gets door open. All THREE PIGS jump 40 out of the windows and close the shutters. STICKLY and HAYWARD lean against the shutters trying to keep WOLF in the house, as

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1 MASON runs OFF LEFT and immediately comes back ON with a TNT blast box. The CURTAIN CLOSES as STICKLY and HAYWARD run in opposite directions to dodge the blast. LIGHTS FADE to BLACK. SOUND EFFECT: EXPLOSION. CURTAIN DOWN.) End of Scene Seven

Scene Eight 5 LIGHTS UP: Along the road in the woods, played in front of the curtain. The PIGS ENTER LEFT with suitcases in hand. MASON carries a map. MASON: Nice work, Stickly. First, you nearly get us eaten by a wolf, and now, it seems your little shortcut has gotten us lost in the woods! Perhaps we should pick up an apple or two and drop in on 10 a luau? STICKLY: Oooh, wee-wee-weeee! Why didn’t you just stay home, then? Oh, yeah, we can’t! You blew up the house! HAYWARD: (Bawls.) I wanna go home!

MASON/STICKLY: We have no home! 15 HAYWARD: (Pitifully tapers off.) Wee-wee-wee-weeee… MASON: Quiet down, Hayward! We’ll find our way to the market—we always do! Let’s take another look at our map. (Unfolds a large map, which they hold between themselves. All that can be seen is the tops of their heads. GOLDILOCKS ENTERS DOWN RIGHT, at first 20 unaware of the PIGS. They hear her and peek over the map.)

GOLDILOCKS: (Thinks out loud.) This is Elder Creek, but I don’t remember it being so gloomy. It’s as if someone has placed a curse on it! STICKLY: (Clears his throat.) Ahem…

25 GOLDILOCKS: (Surprised.) Oh! I thought you might be a wolf! HAYWARD: Wolf?!

MASON: There, there. Calm yourself, Hayward, it’s only a human. Excuse me, Miss…? GOLDILOCKS: Goldilocks. (HAYWARD and STICKLY look at one another, 30 snigger and snort.) MASON: (Approaches GOLDILOCKS.) Yes, of course, Miss Goldilocks. It seems as though we have lost our way. We were heading to

market and must have taken a wrong turn. Do you know the area

well?

35 GOLDILOCKS: I know it very well. To find the market, you must head toward the village. (Points RIGHT.) Simply follow this path, keeping the sun on your left shoulder. When you come to a fork in the path,

take a left. That should lead you directly to the village.

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1 MASON: Thank you so kindly. You’ve been a great help. (WITCH cackles from OFF LEFT.) HAYWARD: W-what w-was that?! STICKLY: I don’t know, but it ain’t Mother Goose! Love to stay and 5 chat, but we’ve got enough to worry about! (PIGS scurry OFF RIGHT. WITCH cackles loudly again. GOLDILOCKS rushes behind a tree DOWN RIGHT and peeks out as the WITCH ENTERS LEFT and roots around with her cane as she moves across stage. She carries a small basket. JACK ENTERS RIGHT, sees her and stands still.) 10 GOLDILOCKS: (To JACK.) Psst! Over here! JACK: What? Who are you? GOLDILOCKS: Ssssh! She’ll hear you! WITCH: Serpent’s tongues and ancient brew, A boy and girl to make my stew! (Cackles.) 15 These toadstools will go nicely with those tender young children! (Crosses RIGHT, bending stiffly on occasion to add toadstools to her basket. EXITS RIGHT.) GOLDILOCKS: (Steps out from hiding.) A boy and a girl to make her stew? Oh, my! A boy and a girl in Elder Creek? 20 JACK: (Steps out.) Who—or what—was that? GOLDILOCKS: The old witch from the candy house. I’ve heard the tales, but I thought they were only children’s stories. Who are you? JACK: Jack. Jack Horner, from the village… or was. Seems I can’t please anybody these days. 25 GOLDILOCKS: What brings you to the woods? JACK: I was running from, well, lots of things. GOLDILOCKS: (Laughs.) Welcome to the woods. JACK: What about you? Do you have a name? GOLDILOCKS: Why, yes, Goldilocks. Pretty silly, huh? 30 JACK: Not at all. It’s different. (Smiles.) Are you out here all by yourself? GOLDILOCKS: Have been for years. Done a lot of running myself. JACK: Kinda spooky out here. GOLDILOCKS: Yes, but it wasn’t always. Must be what the old witch brought with her. 35 JACK: Did she say something about a stew? I’m starved!

GOLDILOCKS: Yes, but not the kind you’d enjoy! She said, “A boy and girl to make my stew.”

JACK: Ugh! Disgusting! GOLDILOCKS: Hansel and Gretel?! Oh, poor Woodsman! I’ll bet the

40 old witch caught his children!

22 NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS

1 JACK: Woodsman? GOLDILOCKS: How would you like all the candy, cakes and cookies you can eat? JACK: Sounds great!

5 GOLDILOCKS: C’mon, we don’t have much time! I’ll explain along the way! (They EXIT LEFT. BUTCHER, BAKER and CANDLESTICK MAKER ENTER RIGHT. BUTCHER’S armed with the cleaver, BAKER with the rolling pin.) CANDLESTICK MAKER: Ugh! She was scary! Her hair was so… and 10 her face… and that wart! Ugh! BAKER: That was a close call!

BUTCHER: We were lucky this time! We’ve got to get outta these

woods!

CANDLESTICK MAKER: I was sure I left the boat tied up near the lake 15 where we came in! BAKER: Indeed! I remember that as well! BUTCHER: We must get back to the village before nightfall. It will be too dangerous in Grimm’s Woods at night. CANDLESTICK MAKER: I need to rest!

20 BAKER: I’m sooo hungry!

BUTCHER: Don’t mention food! I’m famished! I’m dreaming of a

beautiful ham and cheese sandwich.

CANDLESTICK MAKER: Oh, yes! With mustard and piles and piles of lovely… (PIGS ENTER RIGHT. BUTCHER, BAKER and CANDLESTICK 25 MAKER stop and listen intently to PIGS, who are unaware of their presence.) …ham?

STICKLY: Nice work, Hayward! Finding that boat was real lucky! That wolf is miles behind us!

HAYWARD: Gee, thanks, Stickly!

30 MASON: I have to admit, Hayward, that was a very good find!

STICKLY: Yep! We are home free! (PIGS walk toward the SHOPKEEPERS, who are standing still, except for BUTCHER, who is slowly raising the meat cleaver.) Not a care in the world! Just three little pigs out a-walkin’ in the— 35 BAKER: Here, piggy piggy piggy… CANDLESTICK MAKER: Nice piggies… MASON: Something tells me we’re not out of the woods yet! Run! (PIGS EXIT LEFT as SHOPKEEPERS follow. BLACKOUT.) End of Scene Eight

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Scene Nine 1 CURTAIN UP: The Witch’s Gingerbread House. GRETEL is in shackles. She has a broom in hand and is attempting to retrieve a set of keys hung just out of reach from her and the cage in which her brother HANSEL is locked. WITCH cackles from OFFSTAGE. 5 HANSEL: I can hear the witch, Gretel! She’s coming for us! She’s grown impatient waiting for me to fatten up. We’ll never get out of here, sister. She’ll eat us for sure! GRETEL: Try to have faith, Hansel. I know it seems hopeless, but I’ll take care of you. I always do. Do you remember the night that 10 Father left us in the woods and how bitterly cold it was? HANSEL: I don’t think I shall ever forget that night. GRETEL: It seemed as though we would surely freeze to death, but then the full moon revealed the small opening in the hillside that protected us from the wind. 15 HANSEL: I remember, and I would trade anything to be back in that small cave in the woods. No food at all is better than being food for that horrible witch! GRETEL: Calm yourself, brother. A plan will come. I won’t let anything happen to you. 20 WITCH: (ENTERS UP CENTER with her cane and her basket of ingredients. She goes immediately to check the cauldron and tosses the contents of her basket into it. As she stirs, she chants.) Stirring, stirring the old black kettle, Eye of newt and stinging nettle!

25 Dragon’s blood and boiling water,

Next the woodsman’s son and daughter! (Cackles, totters over to

the children and pokes at HANSEL through the cage doors with

her cane.) Show me your finger, boy. Are we fattening up nicely?

(HANSEL pokes a twig through the cage bars. She feels it.) What’s

30 this? I feed you puddings and pies and potatoes and porridge, yet

you’re just as thin as the day I caught you eating my gingerbread

roof! Why, you’re no fatter than a twig! Give me your finger again, boy! (HANSEL hesitantly pushes the twig back through the bars of the cage.) Ach! That’s it! (Abruptly pulls the twig from HANSEL and 35 snaps it in two.) Thought you could fool an old blind woman, eh? Never mind! I’ve fattened many repulsive brats in my day, and now is the time, my boy, now is the time! (Continues to harass HANSEL with her cane.) HANSEL: Gretel! Make her stop! Please make her stop! 40 GRETEL: Stop it at once, you evil old witch!

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1 WITCH: (Taunts.) Save me, sister, save me! What can your foolish sister do? Save yourself, little coward! Perhaps with another one of your clever plans? Like the bread crumbs you saved, then scattered to make a trail that would guide you back home. My ravens made a 5 quick meal of those! Brilliant! (Cackles.) GRETEL: (Lunges at the WITCH but is stopped short by the shackles around her ankles. She falls to her knees.) Stop it! Stop it, you awful old crone! Isn’t it enough that you plan to eat us? Why must you frighten Hansel? He is only a little boy! 10 WITCH: Just a little boy, you say? A greedy little boy! He practically destroyed my gingerbread roof! He ate my prized sugary daffodils that took me years to perfect, and now I shall have to repaint my chocolate door! Poor little boy, indeed! He deserves to be eaten!

(Pokes at HANSEL.)

15 GRETEL: But we were starving! How could we have known that anyone would live in such an enchanted house?!

WITCH: We are enchanted by the lovely web the spider spins, but a wise bug keeps its distance! Oh, and fear not, my dear, you will

not have to miss your brother for long when he is gone, for I have 20 decided to have you for dessert! (Cackles. Totters to the cauldron and takes a taste.) Ach! Needs salt! Now then, don’t go anywhere, my delectable little morsels. I’ll be back for you soon! (EXITS UP CENTER.) HANSEL: Gretel, we must get out of here! There is no more time! 25 GRETEL: Hold on. I think I can… (Tries to reach the keys with her broom.) …reach the keys. (After a few unsuccessful attempts, she slumps down and realizes it is of no use.) I’m so sorry Hansel. I have let you down. The witch is too powerful and cunning. I see no way for our escape. (Suddenly, GOLDILOCKS and JACK can be seen 30 peeking through the cottage window UP RIGHT. JACK is eating a large piece of the gingerbread house. GOLDILOCKS and JACK tip-toe into the cottage unnoticed by HANSEL and GRETEL, who are looking DOWN forlornly. JACK finds a cookie jar and offers GOLDILOCKS a cookie, then realizes they are not alone.) 35 HANSEL: (Places a hand on his sister’s head as she lies on the floor.) It’s all right, Gretel. It’s not your fault. You’ve done everything a sister could do. You’ve been a father and a mother to me. I would never have made it this far without you. You are the best sister I

could hope for.

40 GOLDILOCKS: Look, Jack! Remember the woodsman I was telling you about? It’s his kids! JACK: (To HANSEL and GRETEL.) But why are you locked up and chained?!

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1 GRETEL: I don’t know who you are or where you came from, but we are about to be dinner for an evil witch! Please, you must help us! GOLDILOCKS: Of course! JACK: What can we do? 5 GRETEL: Quickly. Can you reach those keys?!

JACK: Got it! (Retrieves keys as the WITCH cackles again from OFFSTAGE.) Uh-oh! GOLDILOCKS: You’ve got that right! Hide! (JACK and GOLDILOCKS

hunker down next to the cage.)

10 WITCH: (ENTERS, holding a jar of white powder. She holds it up, then

squints as she attempts to read the label.) Ach! This isn’t salt! It’s

camel wart! Oh, drat! No need to hurry though, right, my little lamb

chops? I’ll be right back! (Starts to EXIT, hesitates, sniffing the air,

then turns.) Hmmm… I must be getting hungry. I thought for a

15 moment there was a whole room full of children! (Cackles, EXITS

UP CENTER.)

GRETEL: She’s gone. Hurry! GOLDILOCKS: Jack, the keys! (JACK gives the keys to GOLDILOCKS, who at once tries to unlock GRETEL’S shackles.) Which one is it? 20 GRETEL: I believe it’s this one here! (As she is freed.) Thank you! Now for Hansel! (GOLDILOCKS then attempts to unlock the cage while JACK stands watch at the doorway. She tries every key.) Here, let me try! (GRETEL takes the keys as the WITCH cackles once again from OFFSTAGE.) 25 JACK: (To GOLDILOCKS.) We need a plan. She’ll be back any moment! GOLDILOCKS: (Looks about.) The old witch thought there was a room full of children. Let’s give her one! JACK: Where are we going to get any more children? And why would we bring them here? (WITCH cackles from OFFSTAGE. GOLDILOCKS 30 huddles with the OTHERS at the cage where HANSEL is still trapped and whispers a plan to them. The CHILDREN smile and nod in acknowledgment, then JACK and GOLDILOCKS spread out. WITCH

ENTERS but stops suddenly and sniffs the air. HANSEL and GRETEL

FREEZE.)

35 WITCH: Who is there? (Sniffs and searches.) I know you are there!

Come and join us for dinner, trespassers!

GOLDILOCKS: It is I, Gretel! (Sneaks to a different location.) WITCH: (Perplexed.) What’s this?! (GRETEL unlocks cage and releases HANSEL.) 40 JACK: And I, Hansel! (Sneaks to a different location.) WITCH: But, that cannot be! You are locked—

26 NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS 1 GRETEL: Over here! (Moves again.) WITCH: (Confused.) Don’t be coy with me, you fools! In every game, there are certain rules. In the witch’s lair you chose to tread. 5 I’ll grind your bones to make my bread! JACK: Over here! (Moves again.) GOLDILOCKS: (CHILDREN begin to move in.) And over here! HANSEL: And over here!

WITCH: You rotten children! You are everywhere! You have found

10 some new magic!

GRETEL: We are here!

JACK: And here!

GOLDILOCKS: And here! (Taps the WITCH’S shoulder.)

HANSEL: And here! (Pokes her with the cauldron stick. CHILDREN begin 15 moving WITCH toward her cauldron, as they continue to confuse her. She tumbles backwards into the cauldron, and they hoist the lid onto it, locking her inside.) WITCH: (From inside the cauldron.) A rotten stench has this slimy brew. 20 I curse you all from my own stew! GOLDILOCKS: I say we get out of here before it really starts to smell! JACK: I’m with you! HANSEL: Us too! GRETEL: Let’s go! (CHILDREN EXIT UP CENTER.) 25 WITCH: (From inside the cauldron, fading.) What a world, what a world… (LIGHTS FADE to BLACK. CURTAIN DOWN.) End of Scene Nine

Scene Ten LIGHTS UP: Along the road in the woods, played in front of the curtain. GYPSY ENTERS LEFT and settles on a rock. After a moment, JILL ENTERS RIGHT. She wears a cloak, though not red. 30 GYPSY: Oh, my, my! Finally a chance to sit and give my poor old feet a rest!

JILL: You, there.

GYPSY: (To AUDIENCE.) Drat! Now what?

JILL: You, there. Excuse me!

35 GYPSY: (To AUDIENCE.) What excuse is there for interrupting an old person’s rest? Ho, hum… (To JILL.) Yeeess?

JILL: I’m looking for someone. Have you seen the butcher?

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1 GYPSY: No, but could he have made his way back to the village by now? JILL: I suppose. GYPSY: Let me walk you back, deary.

5 JILL: Well, I am getting rather tired. I wandered all night, and if it’s no trouble…

GYPSY: Not at all, not at all. (Gets up to EXIT.) Say, that’s a lovely cloak you’re wearing.

JILL: Why, thank you.

10 GYPSY: You wouldn’t be in the market for a magical cow in exchange,

would you?

JILL: A magical cow? GYPSY: Yes, yes, it only produces the finest chocolate milk! JILL: Ooohh! That sounds marvelous! 15 GYPSY: And you would be the only one to own such a cow! JILL: I would have the only one? Tell me more. (As the pair EXITS LEFT, GYPSY winks to the AUDIENCE.) GYPSY: (From OFFSTAGE.) Here, Bessy! Here, little moo cow! (SOUND EFFECT: MOOING. GRANDMOTHER and WOLF ENTER RIGHT arm-in- 20 arm. GRANDMOTHER still wears her nightgown and nightcap, WOLF

does not. WOLF is telling a woeful tale.)

WOLF: (Crossing to DOWN CENTER with GRANDMOTHER.) …and the next thing I know, kaboom! The whole place went up in smoke! It was terrible, just terrible! 25 GRANDMOTHER: Well, there’s no need to trouble yourself about those mischievous little pigs! I’m sure they’re far away from here and won’t give you any more trouble! There, there… (Hands WOLF a tissue as they cross LEFT. BEAR FAMILY ENTERS LEFT. PAPA halts others to listen, surprised.) 30 WOLF: Thank you kindly, Mildred. GRANDMOTHER: Call me Grandma! Everyone does! WOLF: (Honks nose loudly into tissue.) Gee, thanks. I’ve never had a grandma before. (WOLF and GRANDMOTHER EXIT LEFT in front of BEARS, who are aghast.) 35 PAPA BEAR: Did you see that? MAMA BEAR: I did indeed! But I still can’t believe it! A talking wolf! BABY BEAR: So? PAPA BEAR: I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes! (BEARS begin to cross RIGHT.)

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1 MAMA BEAR: What’ll we see next? Talking pigs? (She and PAPA BEAR laugh.) BABY BEAR: What’s so funny about that? My friend Mason— PAPA BEAR: Now you’re just being ridiculous! Talking pigs! (BEARS

5 EXIT RIGHT. THREE PIGS ENTER RIGHT. MASON is reading a realty ad.) MASON: Just a little further, my brothers! Says here, “Unique. Needs some roof work and a little paint. Candy exterior with large cooking area. Perfect for keeping guests.” 10 STICKLY: Sounds like home to me! HAYWARD: Home? Wee-wee-wee weee! I wanna go home! MASON/STICKLY: Let’s go, Hayward. (PIGS EXIT LEFT. GOLDILOCKS, JACK, HANSEL and GRETEL ENTER RIGHT.) HANSEL: I have to tell you, Goldilocks, I didn’t think we would ever get

15 out of the old witch’s lair! We were so lucky you two showed up! GRETEL: That, dear brother, was nothing short of a miracle! (To GOLDILOCKS and JACK.) But how did you know to look for us? GOLDILOCKS: Well, there’s still more to the story. JACK: I guess you should tell them, huh?

20 GRETEL: Tell us? Tell us what?

GOLDILOCKS: I met a gentleman who is looking for you.

HANSEL: Someone is looking for us?

JACK: Your father. GRETEL: Father?! 25 HANSEL: You’ve seen our father? GOLDILOCKS: I have, yes. He asked me to have you meet him in the village if I found you.

HANSEL: Gretel! It’s Father! Father! Can you believe it?

GRETEL: (Smiles weakly.) Yes, I suppose it is rather unbelievable. The 30 man who abandoned us in the woods. Strangely, I have dreamed of this day, of seeing father again. But now that it’s here, I’m not sure how to feel. After all, it was he who left us alone to die in the woods. GOLDILOCKS: But he thought he’d left you to survive in the woods! 35 Your stepmother had convinced him that you would starve to death with so little food in the house. JACK: It’s true. He thought that the only chance you had was to fend for yourselves near Elder Creek. GRETEL: He told you this?

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1 GOLDILOCKS: He told me of your stepmother’s plot to rid the house of you and of the stores of food she had hidden away. GRETEL: Father was so consumed by her beauty. She will drive him to an early grave. 5 GOLDILOCKS: I am afraid she has preceded him to the grave. She died ill and alone. HANSEL: Alone? Where was Father? JACK: Out looking for you! GOLDILOCKS: Yes, after leaving you in the woods, he realized he’d 10 made a horrible mistake. He said he would understand if you never wanted to see him again, but he told me to tell you that he loves you. JACK: He sounds like a nice man. HANSEL: (To GRETEL.) I believe he is good in his heart. 15 GRETEL: Well, then I suppose there is only one thing left to be done. How would you feel about seeing Father again? HANSEL: I miss him, Gretel! GRETEL: As do I, little brother. (To GOLDILOCKS and JACK.) How will we find him? 20 JACK: He’s taken a job now. You’ll never go hungry again! GOLDILOCKS: You can find him at the mercantile in the village. JACK: I live in the village… or did. I can certainly take you there! HANSEL: You’ve already saved our lives.

GRETEL: Thank you. Thank you, both. (They hug.) Well, Hansel, I 25 believe we’d better go home!

HANSEL: Let’s go! (EXITS RIGHT with GRETEL. JACK starts to follow.)

GOLDILOCKS: Thanks for all your help, Jack.

JACK: Thank you, Goldilocks. You’re the first person I haven’t run away from in a long time! If you’re ever in the village, let me know, I’ll 30 show you around. I know an old woman, she lives in a shoe. She’s

got so many kids, she doesn’t know what to do! So if you ever

need work, I bet she could use a good babysitter!

GOLDILOCKS: Well, if you ever need a friend, you can count on me.

JACK: That’s certainly better than counting magic beans! 35 GOLDILOCKS: I’ll say! You’d better get Hansel and Gretel back! JACK: I will. Good-bye, Goldilocks, and good luck! (EXITS RIGHT.)

End Scene Ten

30 NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS

EPILOGUE 1 GOLDILOCKS: (Steps forward.) Can you imagine that? It’s been quite an adventure these past couple of days, and as I said, just when you think things are the worst they can be—all bears, wolves and witches—good things begin to happen. Well, the shadows are 5 growing deeper, and my friends should be along any moment. I’m glad you could take the time to listen. Perhaps if you’re on a walk in the woods sometime, we could show you around, but you’d better bring a lunch! WOODSMAN: (ENTERS LEFT with RED RIDING HOOD, who wears a 10 new red cloak.) Hello, fair damsel! GOLDILOCKS: Hello! RED RIDING HOOD: (Hands GOLDILOCKS a basket.) You’ll love the blackberry tart—just baked this morning. And I talked Henny Penny out of a few fresh eggs!

15 GOLDILOCKS: That sounds terrific. You look great. New cloak? RED RIDING HOOD: (Laughs.) Well, having this kind woodsman to escort me on my trek has made all the difference! WOODSMAN: My pleasure. It was the least I could do for my friend Goldilocks for bringing my Hansel and Gretel home. 20 GOLDILOCKS: Well, seems we’ve all had a happy ending. I’d better get to Grandma’s. She’s going to teach me a new stitch tonight!

WOODSMAN/RED RIDING HOOD: Have a safe trip! Good night! (They

EXIT LEFT.)

GOLDILOCKS: (To AUDIENCE.) And as for you, keep an eye out for

25 wolves on your way home! (EXITS RIGHT. WOLF howls from OFFSTAGE as the LIGHTS FADE to BLACK.)

END OF PLAY

31 For preview only

PRODUCTION NOTES

PROPERTIES ONSTAGE Road in the woods: Rock, tree, shrubs The Three Bears’ Cottage: Table set with small, medium and large bowls, three spoons and candle; small, medium and large chairs; stove with large kettle on it; rug; fishing pole; hat on a hat stand Deep in the woods: Rocks, trees, shrubs Grandmother’s Cottage: Dresser with large pantaloons, bra, sleeping gown and nightcap in drawer; bed with blanket and at least two pillows; nightstand with book, radio and eyeglasses on it; stool

The Three Pigs Houses: Three house fronts, two lawn chairs, construction debris Witch’s Gingerbread House: Cage, large cauldron with a lid and a large stick for stirring, set of keys, cookie jar with cookie inside

PROPERTIES BROUGHT ON

Prologue:

Small wrapped biscuit (GOLDILOCKS)

Scene One: Newspaper (PAPA BEAR) Wooden spoon (MAMA BEAR) Gingerbread house, gumdrops (BABY BEAR) Fishing pole, large fish on a line (BABY BEAR) Scene Two: Dry beans (JACK) Meat cleaver (BUTCHER) Scene Three: Picnic basket with apple, cookies, honey (RED RIDING HOOD) Notepad, pencil (WOLF) Scene Four: Meat cleaver (BUTCHER) Rolling pin (BAKER) Dry beans (JACK) Walking stick (WITCH) Scene Five: Picnic basket (GOLDILOCKS) Quiver, flyswatter (WOODSMAN)

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Scene Six: Meat cleaver (BUTCHER) Rolling pin (BAKER) Quiver, flyswatter (WOODSMAN) Scene Seven: Glass of lemonade (HAYWARD, STICKLEY) Small can of paint, paintbrush, TNT blast box (MASON) Folded sheet of paper (WOLF) Scene Eight: Suitcases (HAYWARD, STICKLEY) Suitcase, big folding map (MASON) Meat cleaver (BUTCHER) Rolling pin (BAKER) Cane, basket (WITCH) Scene Nine: Shackles, broom (GRETEL) Basket, cane, jar with white powder (WITCH) Twig (HANSEL) Gingerbread piece (JACK) Scene Ten: Tissue (GRANDMOTHER) Realty ad (MASON) Epilogue: Basket (RED RIDING HOOD)

COSTUME SUGGESTIONS This play allows for considerable flexibility in character costumes. Since the characters are all familiar fairy-tale fixtures, they should have enough traditional elements to their costumes to be at least somewhat recognizable as such. Animal costumes for the wolf, pigs and bears can be very simple and representative since these animals act quite human anyhow. Don’t underestimate how effective brown clothing, a small pinned-on tail and drawn on whiskers can be for a bear costume. Be creative, yet keep it simple. For instance, you can have the bears wear brown mittens for paws if desired. The play calls for just a few specific costume requirements: GOLDILOCKS: Has blonde hair or wears a blonde wig. Wears a red cloak and shoes in the Prologue, and a tattered calico dress and no shoes in Scene One and the first part of Scene Three. Later in Scene Three, Red Riding Hood gives her the red cloak and shoes that she was wearing in the Prologue. She wears them for the rest of the play.

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RED RIDING HOOD: Has brunette hair or wears a brunette wig. In Scene Three, she wears the red cloak and shoes that Goldilocks was first wearing in the Prologue. Later in Scene Three, she gives these back to Goldilocks to reveal just a plain peasant dress underneath. In the Epilogue, she wears a new, more lavish red cloak. GRANDMOTHER: Always wears a nightgown and nightcap. WOLF: Wears a nightgown and nightcap over his wolf costume in Scenes Five and Six.

HAYWARD: Dresses more Western than his brothers and always wears a cowboy hat. JILL: Wears a cloak in Scene Ten, any color but red.

SOUND EFFECTS Cow mooing, crickets chirping, twig snapping, loud music, explosion

FLEXIBLE CASTING The roles of BUTCHER, BAKER, CANDLESTICK MAKER, each of the THREE PIGS and GYPSY may be played by either male or female actors with minimal line changes.

COLLAPSING HOUSE To make the straw house collapse, the structure should be built as a lightweight flat or cutout with a removable or hinged support piece. When the actor is “in” the house, he or she can disengage the support bracket and hold up the flat until it is time for the collapse. The window should be cut large enough so that the actor can pass through the window as the house “collapses” over him.

34 NOTE:For PHOTOCOPYING preview THIS SCRIPT BREAKS FEDERAL only COPYRIGHT LAWS

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