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July 2007 Issue 85 SUBMARIERSSUBMARIERS ASSOCIATIOASSOCIATIO BARROW-I-FURESS BRACHBRACH EWSEWS LETTERLETTER time consuming path of file initially the Submariners Old THE JULY WORD recovery, and some tasks have Comrade Association and latterly inevitably been put on the back Submariners Association since burner. But the monthly pressure leaving the submarine service in for the Chairman/ Chaplain 1965. Steven told me, that when contributions, like rent demands Peter realized that perhaps the are relentless, so here I am back at cancer was going to overwhelm the keyboard. By the time that this him, he gathered his family to talk article goes to press you all will I once worked with a about funeral arrangements. He have heard the sad news that Peter Commissioning Engineer who’s requested that not only should I Weeks one of our longest serving stock answer whenever asked how conduct the service, but also that as members peacefully crossed the long a particular defect would take many as possible Branch Members bar during the evening of Monday to repair was – “ My best estimate and other Submariner friends be 25th June, but more of that in the will be about two minutes to repair, in attendance to support Pam and Chaplains contribution. Given the however it could take three days to her family on a day that by its very current state of the weather and the actually pinpoint it”. I have now nature will be a difficult one. I now unexpected widespread flooding it been without computer access to find myself in a position that is both has caused, I trust that our British the Internet in excess of six weeks. an honour, yet also an awesome summer will have sorted itself in Currently I am on my second task, designing a service that gives time for our annual barbecue, router and the BT Broadband both support for the family in their otherwise the rig of the day will not Engineer has visited my house loss, whilst at the same time be outrageously coloured shirts, but twice. I have given my screen name: honouring a long serving flippers and snorkel masks. That’s telephone number: first line of my submariner. enough burbling from me, so until home address: my mothers middle next month I am signing off. name: to so many AOL diagnostic I will end with a copy of the chapter operatives both in Ireland and the heading and a quote by Admiral Sir Regards Jonsey Indian sub continent, that I now Reginald Bacon in the book feel entitled to be on their Submarine Action by Paul Kemp Christmas card list, yet I am still no which reads as follows: nearer to a satisfactory solution. Life In A Steel Tube The experience has taught me how “I will end by giving you an just how integral the services of my THE CHAPLAI PC access to the pages of the World expression of opinion about life in Wide Web, and my contacts via the general in submarines. I always feel On the morning of it is a strange thing to like, but if you e-mail system, have become in Monday 25th June I helping me keep all plates spinning. do like it, which most do who take it received a telephone up, you like it very much indeed”. I realized that remaining a Luddite call from Steven by not being able to use the full Pratt the son-in-law Thoughts and Prayers potential for my mobile telephone of Peter Weeks, to tell me that Peter to gain access to the Internet has was seriously ill and not expected to Alan Lay Chaplain exacerbated the situation - (but as recover from the course of of yet I have never ever sent a text medication that was keeping him message, and my grandchildren pain free, and in a deep sleep. Peter despair of me). Having shared with as we all know was not only a man you last month how disaster had who served in submarines for struck when I lost most of my back almost all of his Royal aval career, up files, I am now on the torturous but was a life long supporter of Page2 July 2007 replies,"To be honest do you just prepares the vegetables and fancy taking me home?" So he makes dessert. SSoocciiaall SScceennee takes her home and get’s invited in, she asks, "Do you mind me 3) The woman prepares the asking, but are you a sailor?" meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary Hi folks! I believe that At this point he knows he has cooking utensils and sauces and the Astute launch week blown it but tells her that he is takes it to the man who is loung- end and Falklands 25th indeed a sailor "Oh that’s great, ing beside the grill-beer in hand. commemorations went my grandaddy was a sailor - very well, I missed most you’re the first one I’ve ever Here comes the important part: of it myself as I was met! Do you smoke?" working at the weekend, no 4) THE MA PLACES THE doubt there will be some reports Well Jack’s over the moon and MEAT O THE GRILL. by other branch officers else- he answers yes whereby she goes where in the newsletter. out into the kitchen and brings More routine... Our next Social event is the annu- out 100 Blue Liners! al BBQ on the 7th July at 19:30, I 5) The woman goes inside to am afraid the list has closed prior "You can have these if you like, organise the plates and cutlery. to this newsletter so that Brigham I don’t smoke and they’ve been can have final numbers to cater in the cupboard for ages! Do you 6) The woman comes out to tell for. For this event we have a party drink?" Well Jack asks for a the man that the meat is burn- of nine visiting from the Manches- lager but she comes back with a ing. He thanks her and asks if ter branch, possibly some from bottle of Pussers Rum. At this she will bring another beer while Morecambe and Bob Sheriff and point he looks up to the heaven he deals with the situation. friends from North of the border. and thanks the God of Jack for If you haven't already paid me can this goldmine! "Do you mind if I Important again: you get the money to me before slip into something more com- the event if possible has I have to fortable" she asks to Jack’s 7) THE MA TAKES THE pay Brigham for the catering. I delight. When she returns she is MEAT OFF THE GRILL AD hope all those that are attending wearing a see through nightie HADS IT TO THE WOMA. have a great night and make our with every ship, past and pres- guests very welcome, don't forget ent on the hem. Jack can’t More routine... to bring a raffle prize if possible! believe his luck now, then she Full report will be with you next purrs at him "Do you want to 8) The woman prepares the month. come through to the bedroom plates, salad, bread, utensils, and play a little game?" napkins, sauces and brings them Social events on the horizon are: A Jack replies:- to the table. quiz night for mid August (proba- bly 14th), Trafalgar ball in Octo- "I don’t bloody believe it – 9) After eating, the woman ber and Ladies night dinner in you’ve got UCKERS as well!?" clears the table and does the November. Please get your names dishes. down early for the social events, at one stage I didn't think that we And most important of all: were going to have enough to make the BBQ viable, it makes a 10) Everyone PRAISES the big difference to the planning of MA and THAKS HIM for events if I know numbers early. TThhee BBBBQQ his cooking efforts. Well that's all for this month, see 11) The man asks the woman you at the BBQ! how she enjoyed "her night off" and, upon seeing her annoyed It is almost barbeque season. reaction, concludes that there’s Colin Hutchinson Therefore it is important to just no pleasing some women!!! refresh your memory on the eti- Social Secretary quette of this sublime outdoor cooking as it is the only type of cooking a real man will do, probably because there is an ele- ment of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ MATELOT the following chain of events are DACIG I A BAR. put into motion: So there’s this Matelot dancing Routine around a bar. He spots (unbe- lievably) a nice looking bird in 1) The woman buys the food. the corner. He asks her if she’d like a drink to which she 2) The woman makes the salad, Page 3 July 2007 ‘Roll Out’ so far! ‘Launch’ did not forward and volunteer for one of take place on the ‘Launch these Posts you’ll be quite Secretary’s Dit Weekend’ for a number of reasons surprised how much you’ll enjoy Secretary’s Dit but, starting at about midnight on it especially the Monthly 14th June the ‘lowering of the Committee Meeting when you can Well as expected the Ship Lift’ started and HMS get out of the house and perhaps beginning of June ASTUTE has now been wetted by get a pint or two whilst doing the was quite hectic more that a bottle of beer and a Branch business.