Friends pilot script pdf

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This site is best viewed 1024 x 768 screen resolution Last update: March 11, 2004 Download marydale font to view some fonts in the right format. Disclaimer: I didn't type in the entire script, but simply added footage to the original scripts that appeared on the Full Script Index of Friends and Friends movies. In addition, the pilot with the UN cut footage hails from the CFSI. Please give me credit for the uncircumcised scripts I deciphered. And that means that there are no uncircumcised frames. Season 1 Scripts Season 2 Scenarios Season 3 Scenarios Season 4 Scenarios Season 5 Scripts Season 6 Scenarios Season 7 Scenarios Season 8 Scenario 920: One with a soap opera party Here you can read the script of the pilot episode, Check it out! EPISODE 1 Monica gets a new roomate (Pilot) SCENE 1: CENTRAL PERK. (ALL, GREAT, RACHEL AND ROSS) Monica: Nothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with! Come on, you're having to deal with this guy! There must be something wrong with him! Does he have a hump? Hump and hair? Wait, does he eat chalk? Just because, I don't want her to go through what I went through with Karl- oh! Okay, everybody relax. It's not even a date. They're just two people who go to dinner and don't have sex. Chandler: Sounds like a date to me. Okay, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I'm completely naked. Oh yes. If only it were a dream. CHANDLER: Then I look down and I realize there is a phone ... Over there. JOEY: Instead ...? Chandler: Right. Joey: Never had that dream. FIBI: No. Suddenly the phone starts ringing. And it turns out that this is my mother, which is very strange, because she never calls me! (CUT INTO THE SAME SET. ROSS HAS NOW ENTERED ROSS: (MORTIFIED) Hi. This guy says hello, I want to kill myself. Are you OK, sweetheart? ROSS: I just feel like someone stretched out my throat, grabbed my small gut, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck... Chandler: Biscuits? MONICA: (EXPLAINING TO OTHER) Carol moved her stuff today. I DON'T WANT TO. Give me a coffee. Phoebe: Oh! About! No, no! Stop cleaning my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay? I'll be fine, okay? Really, that's it. I hope she'll be very happy. Monica: No, you don't. NO, I don't know to hell with her, she dumped me! JOEY: And you never knew she was a lesbian... ROSS: No! Ok?! Why does everyone keep getting hung up on this? She didn't know how I knew? CHANDLER: Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian... I said it out loud? Okay Ross, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You're in pain. Can I tell you what the answer is? GESTURES HIS UP) JOEY: Strip Connection! Come on, you're lonely! There are hormones! I don't want to be alone, okay? I just... I just want to get married again! Chandler: And I just want a million dollars! (LOVE RUKU, HOPE) Monica: Rachel?! Oh my God, Monica hello! I just went to your building and you weren't there, and then this guy with the big hammer said you could be here, and you're here, you're here! Can I get you some coffee? MONICA: (POINTING AT RACHEL) De Cafe. All right, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. (RACHEL) That's it, it's Chandler, and Phoebe and Joey, and. ROSS: Hi. (THEY GO HUG, BUT ROSS'S UMBRELLA OPENS. (MINUTE, HOW RACHEL SIT; OTHER EXPECT HER TO EXPLAIN) MONICA: So, do you want to tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? RACHEL: Oh my God... Well, it started about half an hour before the wedding. I was in the room where we kept all the presents, and I was looking at this gravy. It's a really gorgeous Lamauj sauce boat. When suddenly - (TO WAITRESS, WHO HAS BROUGHT HER COFFEE)Sweet 'N' Lo? - I realized that I was more turned on by this boat sauce than Barry! And then I got really scared, and that's when he hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. I know, I mean, it always looked familiar, but ... Anyway, I just had to get out of there and I started to wonder: Why am I doing this and who am I doing it for?. (MONICA) Anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know you and I split up a little bit, but you're the only person I knew who lived here in town. Who wasn't invited to the wedding. RACHEL: Oh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be a problem... SCENE 2: MONICA'S APARTMENT (ALL AND WATCHING A SPANISH SOAP ON TV) MONICA: Now I guess he bought her a big trumpet organ and she's really not happy about it. RACHEL: (ON PHONE) Dad, I just... I can't marry him! I am sorry. I just don't like him. Well, that's important to me! CHANDLER: (RE TV) Oh, she shouldn't be wearing those pants. I say push her down the stairs. PHOEBE-ROSS-CHANDLER-JOEY: Push it down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! (SHE'S BEING PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS. RACHEL: Come on Daddy, listen to me! All my life everyone has always said to me: You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!. And today I just stopped and said, What if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a handbag, you know? Either- or a hat! No, I'm not saying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I'm a metaphor, Dad! You can see where he's going to have problems. Look, Dad, this is my life. Well, maybe I'm just here with Monica. MONICA: Well, I think we've established who's staying here with Monica... Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't want your money. Hold on!! Wait, I said maybe! (CUT INTO THE SAME SET. RACHEL IS BREATH IN PAPER BAG) MONICA: Just breathe, breathe. That's it. Just try to come up with good calm things... PHOEBE: (SINGS) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (RACHEL AND MONICA TURN TO LOOK AT HER). bells and sleds and - something with mittens... La la la la la la i'm better. PHOEBE: (GREENS AND WALKS INTO THE KITCHEN. TO CHANDLER AND JOEY) I HELPED! Okay, look, this is probably for the best, you know? Independence. Taking control of his life. JOEY: (SITTING BESIDE HER) And hey, you need something, you can always come to Joey. Chandler and I live across the hall. And he's not here much. Joey, stop hitting her! It's her wedding day! What, like, is there a rule or something? (SOUNDS THE DOOR BUZZER. CHANDLER GETS IT) CHANDLER: Please don't do it again, it's a horrible sound. PAUL: (O INTERCOM) It's Paul. MONICA: Buzz it! Who's You: Who's Yo? Paul Wine Guy, Paul? Monica: Maybe. Please wait. Your not real date today with Paul Wine Guy? Ross: Did he finally invite you to the exit? Monica: Yes! Oh, this is the moment of the Dear Diary. MONICA: Rah, wait, I can cancel... Please, no, go, that would be fine! MONICA: (TO ROSS) Is you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay? ROSS: (CHOKED VOICE) That would be nice... MONICA: (HORRIFIED) Right? ROSS: (NORMAL VOICE) No, come on! This is Paul Wine Guy! (KNOCK IN THE DOOR. Monica GETS IT; IT'S PAUL) MONICA: Hi, come! Paul, this is. (THEY ALL LINED UP NEXT TO THE DOOR)... That's it, everything, it's Paul. Hey! Floor! Hello! The wine guy! Hey! I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. Paul, isn't it? MONICA: (SHOWS PAUL IN) Two seconds. Oh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good. Ross: So, Rachel, who are you, uh. What are you doing tonight? I was kind of on my way to Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing! Yes, you don't even have a honeymoon, God. No, no, though, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your -- (THINKS) -big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel like being alone tonight, Joey and Chandler are coming to help me collect my new furniture. CHANDLER: (DEADPAN) Yes, and we're really excited about it. Well actually thank you, but I think I'm just going to hang out here tonight. ROSS: Okay, of course. Hey, Phoebe, do you want to help? Oh, I wish I could, but I don't want to. (AD BREAK) SCENE 3: ROSS' APARTMENT (THE GUYS ARE ASSEMBLING FURNITURE) ROSS: (SQUAMING AND READING INSTRUCTIONS) I have to attach brackets thing to the side of things using a bunch of these little whim guys. I don't have a brace thing, I don't see guys whatever it is, and I don't feel my legs. (CHANDLER AND JOEY, APPARENTLY, THE BOOK BOOK, BUT THERE'S A LITTLE BIT) Joey: What's it? I have no idea. (JOEY CHECK ROSS NOT WINNER AND DUMP IN THE POT) Joey: Made with a bookcase! CHANDLER: It's over! ROSS: (CLUTCHING A BEER CAN AND SNIFFING) It was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it out of the can, I should have known. Ross, let me ask you a question. She's got furniture, a stereo, a good TV - what did you get? You guys. Oh, man. JOEY: You. (SOURCE FOR MONICA AND PAUL EAT IN RESTAURANT) Monica: Oh my God! I know, I know, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught it when she started going to the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how can clean teeth get? My brother is going through this right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through this? Paul: Well, can you try to accidentally break something valuable out of her, say, her-MONICA:-foot? PAUL: (LAUGHING) That's one way! Me, I went for the watch. Did you really break her watch? (RACHEL'S LIFE IN MONICA'S APARTMENT, TALK ON THE PHONE AND WALK) Barry, I'm SORRY... I am so sorry... I know you probably think it's all about what I said the other day about you doing love with socks, but it's not... it's not, it's about me and I ju- (STOPS TALKING; DIALS NUMBER ON THE PHONE) Hi, the machine cut me off again... Still... Ross: You know what's the worst part? What if there's only one woman for everyone, you know? I mean, what if you get one woman and that's it? Unfortunately, in my case, there was only one woman - for her... What are you saying? One woman? It's like saying that there's only one ice cream flavor for you. Lemm told you something, Ross. There's a lot of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and cookie dough, and Bing! Cherry vanilla. You can get them with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! It's the best thing that's ever happened to you! You got married, you were about eight years old? Welcome back to the world! Take a spoon! ROSS: Honestly, I don't know if I'm hungry or. Stay away from my freezer! (SOURCE IN) Paul: Ever since she left me, I'... WHAT: What?..... What, you want to put that on noodles? No, it's more like a fifth date of some kind of revelation. Oh, is this going to be a fifth date? Paul: Isn't it? MONICA: Yes... Yes, I think there is. What were you going to say? Well, all-e-e-... Since she left me, I haven't been able to. (MONICA TAKES A SIP OF HER DRINK)... Sexy. MONICA: (SPITS OUT HER DRINK IN SHOCK) Oh my God, oh my God, I'm sorry... I am so sorry... PAUL: It's all right... MONICA: Being spit on is probably not what you need right now. Hmm... How long? Two years. MONICA: Wow! I'm glad you broke her watch! PAUL: So you still think you, amm... Might you need that fifth date? MONICA: (pause)... Yes. Yes, I do. (CUT TO RACHEL WATCHING 'JOANIE LOVES CHACHI') TV: I, Joanie, take you, Charles, to be my rightful husband. 'You take...' RACHEL: Oh... See... But Joanie loved Chachi! That's the difference! (ROSS) ROSS: (SCORNFUL) Take a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I grabbed the spoon? Billy's words, don't be a hero mean nothing to you? You know, here's the thing. Even if I could get enough to ask the woman to leave,... Who am I going to ask? (VIEWS FROM THE WINDOW) (CUT RACHEL LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW) SCENE 4: MONICA AND RACHEL'S APARTMENT. RACHEL IS MAKING COFFEE FOR JOEY AND CHANDLER) RACHEL: Isn't that amazing? I mean, I've never made coffee before in my life. CHANDLER: That's amazing. Joey: Congratulations. And while you are on a roll, if you feel like you have to do like a western omelette or something... (JOEY AND CHANDLER TASTE COFFEE, GRIMAS, AND LIVE IT IN POT PLANT) Although in fact I'm really not so hungry ... (Enter Monica FROM YOUR ROOM) All: Morning. Good morning. (ENTER PAUL FROM MONICA'S ROOM) Paul: Morning. Morning, Paul. Hey, Paul. Hey, Paul, isn't it? (Monica and Paul GO TO THE DOOR AND SAY A LOW VOICE, OTHER CAN NOT HEAR. OTHER MONICA'S TABLE CLOSER to THE DOOR SO THEY CAN) Monica: I had a really great time last night. Paul: Thank you. Thank you so much. We'll talk later. Paul: Yes. Thank you. It wasn't a real date?! What the hell are you doing on a real date? Monica: Shut up and put my desk back. ALL: Ok! Well, kids, I need to get to work. If I don't get these numbers in,... It doesn't really matter... So, do you guys have a job? Monica: Yes, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy things. Yes, I'm an actor. RACHEL: Wow! Would I see you in anything? I doubt it. Mostly regional work. Monica: Oh wait, wait, if you didn't happen to catch Reruns produced by Pinocchio. Chandler: Look, Hippotta, I'm a real living boy. JOEY: I won't accept this abuse. You're right, I'm sorry. I was once a wooden boy as a little wooden boy. (JOVY AND CHANDLER) Monica: So how are you doing today? Did you sleep well? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling. I can see it. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth. MONICA: I know it's just like that, so ... Remember you and Tony DeMarco? Oh yes. Well, that's true. With feelings. Oh, what a day. You're in trouble. Monica: Okay. Ok. I'm just going to go to work and I'm not going to think about him all day. Otherwise just get up and go to work. Oh, look, wish me luck! MONICA: For what? I'm going to get one of these jobs. (EXIT MONICA) SCENE 5: IRIDIUM (JUST MONICA, WORKING) (ENTER FRANNIE) FRANNIE: Hey, Monica! Monica: Hey, welcome back! How's Florida? You had sex, didn't you? Monica: How do you do that? FRANNI: So? That? Do you know Paul? Fransnie: Paul the Wine Guy? Oh, yes, I know Paul. You mean you know Paul the same way I know Paul? Are you joking? I'm taking credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was a snap in his turtle for two years. (CUT FOR GANG MINUS RACHEL IN CENTRAL PERK) JOEY: (PERCHED ON THE SIDE OF THE SOFA) Of course, it was a line! MONICA: Why?! Why? Why would anyone do something like that? ROSS: I guess we're looking for an answer more complicated than getting you into bed. Monica: Is that me? Is it like I have some kind of beacon that only dogs and men with serious emotional problems can be heard? PHOEBE: Okay, c'mere, gimme legs. (SHE MASS THEM) Monica: I just thought he was good, you know? JOEY: (BURSTS OUT LAUGHING AGAIN) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line! (MONICA PUSHES HIM OFF THE COUCH. ENTER RACHEL WITH SHOPPING: RACHEL: Guess what? Do you have a job? Are you joking? I'm trained for nothing! I laughed out twelve interviews today. CHANDLER: And yet you're surprisingly optimistic. RACHEL: You would too if you found John and David's boots for sale, fifty percent off! CHANDLER: Oh, how well do you know me... Rachel: They're my new I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I have big boots! How did you pay for them? Credit card. MONICA: Who pays for it? RACHEL: Hmm ... My... Father. (CUT INTO THE GANG ON MONICA AND RACHEL, SITTING AT THE TABLE. ON TABLE ARE RACHEL'S CREDIT CARDS AND PAIR OF SCISSORS) MONICA: C'mon, you can't live at your parents' expense all your life. I know that. That's why I got married. Phoebe: Give her a break, it's hard to be on your own for the first time. RACHEL: Thank you. Phoebe: Welcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom just killed herself, and my stepfather went back to prison, and I got here, and I didn't know anyone. And eventually I was living with this albino guy who was cleaning the windows outside the port administration, and then he killed himself, and then I found aromatherapy. So trust me, I know exactly how you feel. (BREAKING) ROSS: The word you're looking for is anyway... MONICA: Are you ready? I don't think so. Go on, cut it off. Cut, cut, cut,... ALL: Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... (THEY ARE ALL UP. THEY CHEER) MONICA: Welcome to the real world! It sucks. You're going to love it! (THE SAME SET. MONICA, RACHEL AND ROSS JUST FINISHED WATCHING A FILM) MONICA: Well, that's it. RACHEL: (TO ROSS) You're going to crash Sofa? ROSS: No. No, I need to go home sometime. Are you okay? ROSS: Yes. Hey, Mon, look what I just found on the floor. What? It's Paul's watch. You just put it where you found it. Oh boy. Ok. Good night, that's it. (TRUMP ON PAUL'S WATCH AND GOES TO YOUR ROOM) ROSS: MMM. (They both REACH FOR THE WARNING) Oh, no-RACHEL: Sorry-ROSS: No, no, no, go-RACHEL: No, you have, really, I don't want it-ROSS: Divide it? HELCHEL: Okay. ROSS: Okay. You know you probably didn't know it, but I fell in love with you when I was in high school. I knew that. ROSS: You did it! About.... I always thought you just thought I was Monica's older brother. That's what I did. ROSS: Oh, look, you think, and try not to let my strong vulnerability become a factor, but do you think it would be nice if I invited you out? Sometimes? Can? RACHEL: Yes, maybe ... ROSS: Okay... well, maybe I'll ... Good night. Good night. (RACHEL'S EXIT TO HER BEDROOM. ENTER MONICA IN DRESS DRESS, AS ROSS IS LEAVING) MONICA: See me.... Waitwaite, what's wrong with you? I just grabbed a spoon. (EXIT ROSS) (CLOSING CREDITS) CREDITS SCENE: CENTRAL PERK JOEY: I can't believe what I'm hearing here. PHOEBE: (SINGS) I can't believe what I'm hearing here... MONICA: What? I-I said you have- PHOEBE: (SINGS) What I said ... MONICA: (TO PHOEBE) Will you stop? Phoebe: Oh, did I do it again? RACHEL: (WALKS UP WITH A POT OF COFFEE) Would anyone want more coffee? Chandler: Did you do that, or did you just serve him? I'm just serving him. ALL: Yes. Yes, I'll have a cup of coffee. CHANDLER: Children, a new dream... I'm in Las Vegas. I'm Liza Minnelli-END END friends pilot script pdf. friends pilot script signed. friends pilot episode script. friends original pilot script. friends from college pilot script pdf. friends season 1 pilot script

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