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THE JEWISH OBSERVER (ISSN) 0021- 6615 is published monthly except July and August by the Agudath of America, 42 Broadway, , NY10004. Periodicals postage paid in New York, NY. Subscription $24.00 per year; two years, $44.00; three years, $60.00. Outside of the United States (US funds drawn on a US bank only) $12.00 surcharge per year. Single copy $3.50; foreign $4.50. POSTMASTER: Send address changes to: The Jewish Observer, 42 Broadway, NY. NY 10004. Tel: 212-797-9000, Fax: 6 The Essence of Kabbalas 01 Malchus Shamayim, based on an 646-254-1600. Printed in the U.S.A. address by Matisyahu Salomon l{"to""'1,

RABBI NISSON WOLPIN, EDITOR prepared (or publication by Rabbi Avrohom Birnbaum

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@ Copyright 2004 BOOKS•IN·REVIEW 'October' 2004 4S Rav Pam, by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman, reviewed by. Rabbi Matis VOLUME XXXVll/NO. 8 Based on an address by weighed down by a burdensome weight of itself, not a weight nor a hindrance. Rabbi Matisyahu Salomon strapped to one's back. It is rather a facilitator, which enables a W1"'nl, Mashgiach Ruchani This is not the case at all. Jew to perform his obligations with hap­ of , OZ means yoke. It is decidedly not a piness and enthusiasm. Lakewood NJ, translated and massa, which denotes weight. It is rather Kabba/as ol Maleh us Shamayim is find­ adapted for publication by an instrument, a medium by which one ing the instrument, the incentive that Avrohom Birnbaum enables himself to easily perform Torah makes it more comfortable and more very time we recite Krias Shema, and mitzvos. enjoyable to bear and fully observe Torah we are mekabel oZ Malchus OZ MaZchus Shamayim, explains the u'mitzvos. EShamayim. The simple translation Zohar (cited in Nefesh Ha Chaim), is akin This definition of ol Malchus of these words is "accepting upon one­ to the standard oZ - the yoke of an ox. Shamayim as being the requisite, per­ self the yoke of the Kingdom of The yoke itself is not heavy at all. Rather, sonalized incentive of every Jew is Heaven:'Without ol Malchus Sham-ayim, it is something fashioned to conform to described by the Rambam in his mitzvos have no meaning, and one has the shape of the animal's shoulders and Commentary on Mishnayos. No one, the totally missed his calling as a Jew. The to fit comfortably, allowing it to pull a Rambam explains, learns Torah and per­ term al Maleh us Shamayim, however, is great load with ease and with a minimum forms mitzvos by natural instinct. When commonly misunderstood to mean a of strain. Ifthe load is attached by being a child begins to learn, he does not imme­ great burden, the crushing weight of strapped to the body of the animal with­ diately experience the sweetness of MaZchus Shamayim. This weight may be out a yoke, the animal can pull almost Torah. He needs incentives to motivate important, even critical, so the thinking nothing. With it, it can pull a great deal. him to learu ...." You promise him goes, but it is heavy and difficult to carry, OZ Malchus Shamayim is the same. It sweets and delicacies when he is young, nonetheless. is the means by which a person enables to motivate him to learn. As one gets In fact, we conjure up an image of a himself to use his natural strengths and older, the incentives are adjusted accord­ heavy, onerous load, visualizing being abilities in the service of the Creator, with ingly, first with new clothes, then money, a maximum of ease and a minimum of then honor, etc ... choosing the optimum Rabbi Birnbaum, an educator living in Lakewood. is a columnist for and a fre~ difficulty. way to educate a child in Torah quent contributor to these pages. Thus, ol Malchus Shamayim is, in and (lechat'chila):'

6 The Jewish Observer, Oclober 2004 This, the Ran1bam explains, is what me a large inheritance. I never had the to learn Torah when he originally Chazal mean when they say, "Le'olam opportunity to learn and I would like approached Rav Yochanan. ya'asok adam beTorah ubemitzvos afilu to give the beautiful, expensive items Nevertheless, he - and Rav Yochanan - shelo lishma shemitoch shelo lishma ba and clothing to talmidei chachamim." recognized that he was a human being lishma-A person should always engage Rav Yochanan gave the entire fortune with human weaknesses who needed in Torah study, even if his motives aren't to his talmid, "Rav Yosi the Wealthy:' incentives, a "yoke" to make it easier for pure, for from this he will eventually From then on, he was called "Rav Yosi him, to properly bind the "load" of Torah study with pure motives." The empha­ hen Pazi (paz means gold):' and mitzvos to him, to make it enjoy­ sis is on the word le'olam - always, After Rav Yosi received the riches, able and pleasant. From there, he pro­ because there is always a need for he engaged in learning Torah be'sim­ gressed from one level to the next, until incentive to learn. The incentives could cha, with joy. He completely immersed he finally attained true yiras Hashem, and should change over a person's life­ himself in the depth of the Torah, pro­ wanting to fulfill Hashem's desire with time, but an incentive is needed to ensure gressing to increasingly higher levels no ulterior motive. limud Hatorah and observance of knowledge. with joy and enthusiasm. One cannot After discovering that the beauty and GROWTH THROUGH MOTIVATORS attain the level of performing Torah and wealth of Torah was far greater than mitzvos lishma without first traversing glittering gold and silver, Rav Yosi hen hat this means for us in prac­ the exigencies of shelo lishma. Pazi was overcome by a feeling of pro­ tical terms is that when we These shelo lishma incentives men­ found regret. "Woe is to me;' he said, W accept upon ourselves ol tioned by the Rambam are precisely the "that I disregarded eternal life in Malchus Shamayim, we must invest yoke, the ol, of Malchus Shamayim. As favor of temporal life:' He went to Rav effort in thinking of motivations and an al is something designed to make our Yochanan and said, "I do not want to incentives that would 1nake it easier and avodas Hashe1n easier and more enjoy­ engage in Torah study in order to attain more enjoyable for us to serve Hashem. able) proper incentives perfor1n that very riches. I only want to learn to glorify In truth, many of us understand this function. the name of Hashem!' concept when it comes to educating our Clearly, the ultimate goal is that one's Rav Yosi then took all of the rich­ children. Clearly, a child needs an al Maleh us Shamayim is composed of his es that he had received and distributed incentive to learn. With regard to our­ pure yiras Shamayim. But first and fore­ them to the poor. He now recognized selves, however, we often act as if we think most, the ol must he something that the truth. This is why he is called Rav that we have already reached the exalt­ makes it easier to fulfill our obligations Yosi hen Pazi throughout the Talmud. ed spiritual level whereby we do not to Hashem. Shela lishma incentives are [The Zohar concludes,] And this is require motivation to engage in avodas just that. what Chazal mean when it says that one Hashem. But the reality is that virtual­ should always engage in Torah shelo ly all of us must think of ways to encour­ THE SHELO LISHMA IMPERATIVE lishma, shemitoch shelo lishma, ba age ourselves to turn our avodas Hashem lishma. into an involvement that we look forward he Zahar (Parashas Lech Lecha, This story demonstrates most vivid­ to, not a burden that we must bear. cited in Tzror Hamor Parshas ly that the most important thing initially A person should never feel discour­ TVayeira) powerfully illustrates is that one must be able to learn, daven aged for not having a desire to learn, this point: and fulfill the mitzvos with joy. If cere­ daven or serve Hashem. He should not A person came to Rav Yochanan and bral knowledge and yiras Shamayim feel in any way inferior because of this. asked to join his and learn alone cannot enable a person to attain He was not created with these positive Torah on the condition that he will the simcha and sense of fulfillment that desires. What he should do is accept upon become rich. Rav Yochanan accepted what one is doing is the greatest thing himself the yoke of Heaven by finding him into the yeshiva on that premise in the world, then we niust provide eitzos- strategies - that will make his avo­ and instructed all his talmidim to call enticements. We must continue providing das Hashem easier. him ''Rav Yosi, the Wealthy." He stud­ incentives to our-yes- childlike selves If one does not do this, one almost ied Torah, learned well and succeeded. until avodas Hashem becomes so pleas­ certainly will not he able to go the dis­ He did not, however, become wealthy. urable on its own, that those incentives tance. It is simply impossible to force one­ He came to Rav Yochanan and com­ are no longer needed. self to go against one's natural plained that although he had the title, Clearly, the person of whom we speak, inclinations day after day, week after "Rav Yosi, the Wealthy:' the wealth did who performs mitzvos shelo lishma, still week, year after year. One who does not not materialize, he was not getting rid1. desires to do the will of Hashem. He just enjoy his avodas Hashem will not be able [The Zahar continues,] One day, a would not have the strength of charac­ to sustain it at the requisite level. Either wealthy man came to Rav Yochanan ter to engage in avodas Hashem without his nerves will fray or his yiras saying, "My father passed away and left an external incentive. Rav Yosi did want Shamayim will simply erode. This crit-

··------·------·----- The Jewish Observer, October 2004 7 ical error is 1nade by so many well-mean­ that make those pressures enjoyable. ing people. The importance of making Many people do not desire to accept avodas Hashem enjoyable by including the yoke of Heaven because they do not incentives in our daily lives cannot be wish to be placed in a position where they overstated. will have no choice but to engage in the Rashi, in the beginning of Shir "work" that the Ribbano Shel Olam We make "housecalls" Hashirim, tells us that Shir Hashirim is desires of them. (718) 972-4003 "kodesh kadashim;' the holiest of all sifrei The critical proof that somebody kadesh (sacred literature). Why? Rashi truly desires to do Hashem's will is one's :i-·.,~­ cites Ghazal: "Because it is comprised of acceptance of being connected to that ,b:::>lv total yiras Shamayim and acceptance of al; to go peacefully and dutifully, and ol Malchus Shamayim:' put oneself into a situation where - Specializing in small bdtim for a perfect fit. There is a profound lesson here. albeit with incentives - he will be com­ Ghazal classify "holy of holies" to be "yiras mitted to work, and the yoke itself will Shamayim and acceptance of the yoke restrain him from shirking his duties. of Heaven;' and assert that the greatest Seeking to avoid those incentives, spiritual level one can attain is accept­ then, is properly called prikas ol, ing the yoke of Heaven. removing the medium, the facilitator • Each Daf is read, We frequently hear "experts" say for avodas Hashem. translated, and explained that "you cannot pressure people." But Our commitment to Hashem is slowly and clearly in just they don't really believe that. Everybody called kabbalas al. Kabba/as al means 20 minutes knows that in every area, be it the world accepting the yoke by joyfully putting • $4 per tape {plus S&H) of business, sports or entertainment, the oneself in a situation where one will not • Subscription rate: $3 per tape (plus S&H) only ones who succeed are the ones who shirk one's obligations to Hashem. pressure themselves, the ones who Although the enjoyment makes it easi­ -.illlJlllJ.ll!R relentlessly pursue whatever it is that they er, it still requires a commitment. view as success. The key, however, is that That is kabbalas ol Malchus they motivate themselves with incentives Shamayim. II

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8 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 I. CAUSES FOR CELEBRATION It might seem that these two themes including the eras of Kings David, are unrelated; one does not associate the Shlomo and Chizkiyahu, proud times in imcha is a key element of Sukkos, mitzvah of dwelling in the sukka with the our history, the Jewish People did no.t which is referred to, in our tefillos, joyous mood so prevalent during the fes­ observe the mitzvah of dwelling in a Sas z'man simchaseinu, the season of tival. On the contrary, after toiling an sukka? Why would they n~ect this mitz­ our rejoicing. With the completion of the entire year, one's natural tendency is to vah in particular? Another question aris­ agricultural cycle, we rejoice over our suc­ celebrate his good fortune in the com­ es: Were the returnees from Bavel elated cesses of the past year. The holiday, then, fort of his own home, where he can relax because they hadrevivedthe observance serves to remind us that we must thank and enjoy the fruits of his labor. Why of a neglected mitzvah, or was their hap­ Hashem for the prosperity that He has leave one's home to camp out in a flim­ piness related specifically to the mitzvah bestowed upon us and to channel our sy hut, exposed to the elements?1 of dwelling in a sukka? joy into His service. We are further elat - Nevertheless, the following incident, edsince He has just forgiven us after we recorded in Nechemia (8,14-17), reveals II. THE SUKKA­ repented on Yom Kippur for our mis­ that fulfilling the mitzvah of dwelling in DISENGAGING FROM IDOLATRY deeds. As the name of this festival indi­ a sukka can also bring us great joy. cates, the mitzvah ofdwelling in a sukka After the Babylonian exiles returned to he Gemora3 concedes that it def­ for the duration of the holiday, in Eretz Yisroel, Ezra, the leader of that era, initely cannot be said that the Jews commemoration of the anannei proclaimed that everyone should build a Tfailed to observe Sukkos for so hakavod, the clouds of glory, which sur­ sukka in order to properly observe the mitz­ many centuries. Rather, the passuk rounded Bnei Yisroel during their forty vah of the upcoming Sukkos festival. refers metaphorically to an incident year sojourn in the Desert, is also inte­ Scripture describes how the entire com­ recorded in Sanhedrin.4 The Gemora gral to our observance of Sukkos. munity complied with his directive and there relates. that Ezra and the Anshei concludes its account with the following Knesses Ffagedola, Men of the Great Rabbi Levinson, an alumnus of Lakewood's Beth incredible testimony: ."And they dwelt in Medrash Govoha, has recently moved back to 1 sukkos, for Bnei Yisroel had not done so See_]ifeshech Choihma to Vayikra 23, 42: Lakewood after learning seven years in Beth 2 from the .daysofYehosbua2 the son of Nun, The verse actually reads "Yeishua,"but refers to HaTalmud in Melbourne,Australia.Duringthis Yehoshua, the disciple of Moshe who led the Jewi1h time, he founded and edited Moadim U'ztnanim, and there was very great joy" (v.17). Nation into Bretz Yisrael. See Arachin 32b, which the Kollel's Yo111 Jbvpublication where his arti­ The passuk's comment demands an discusses the reason for this unusual spelling. cle originally appeared. Currently Rabbi Levinson 3 is an editor for theArtScrollYadAvraham Mishnah explanation: Are we to believe that for Arachin 32b. project. a period of almost one thousand years, 1 64a. Assembly, prayed that Hashem abolish anannei hakavod with which Hashem the yeitzer hara for avoda zara, the evil protected us when we left Egypt. Those inclination for idolatry. Hashem heed­ clouds shielded us only temporarily, until ed their request and handed over this the Jewish People made the Eigel yeitzer hara to them. Thus, for the first Hazahav, the Golden Calf, at which time time in our history, there was no longer they were removed by Hashem. 11 Even a concern that Jews would succumb to after pardoning the Nation, Hashem was Child Development this strong temptation. 5 The passuk in still displeased: the Luchos (two Tablets), Nechemia refers to the successful elim­ which Moshe had broken, were not Specialists serving ination of this yeitzer hara as a sukka, replaced and the anannei hakavod did because the merit of Ezra and the not reappear. On Sukkos, we dwell in the infants/toddlers Anshei Knesses Hagedola's prayers to elim­ sukka to recall the return of the anan­ inate this temptation afforded the Jewish nei hakavod, which marked Bnei Yisroefs and their families People the same protection that one earns complete forgiveness for the sin of the by fulfilling the mitzvah of sukka. Golden Calf. And, as the Gra demon­ Nevertheless, there is a principle strates, the clouds reappeared on the that ein Mikra yotzei midei peshuto - even Fifteenth of Tishrei. Moshe Rabbeinu when the Sages expound a Biblical descended from the Heavens, where he phrase, the passuk retains its plain had prayed on behalf of his flock, on Yorn meaning. An exposition cannot supplant Kippur, the tenth day of Tishrei, hold­ the verse)s simple intent; rather, it com­ ing the second pair of Luchos. The next plements the literal explanation of the morning, the eleventh, he assembled the verse.6 Moreover, the passage itself Jewish People, commanding them to makes it clear that the verse is referring donate the various items needed for the to the festival ofSukkos.7 Consequently, 5 although it cannot be said that for almost The teinptation for idolatry in the tin1es of Tanach \Vas very po\verful, and rnany found a millennia the Jewish People neglect­ it too difficult to overcon1e (see Sanhedrin ed the mitzvah of sukka, the verse does 102b). suggest that until the times of Ezra, the 6 S'hahhos 63a; Yevamos 24a; see there for an Nation's Sukkos observance was found exception to this nile. Scripture is layered with wanting. In what way was it lacking? Even meaning; the first level is the simple approach, if the Navi chose this passuk, which the exegetical interpretation is a higher level (see Maharal, Chiddushei Aggados, Shabbos ibid.; Evaluation &Therapy at our center describes how the Babylonian Exiles ful­ Yevamos ibid.). filled the mitzvah of sukka, to allude to or in the privacy of your home In fact, the Gemara Sukka 12a; 37a cites the fact that they abolished the yeitzer this episode in order to clarify the laws of Bi-Lingual Services Available hara to worship avoda zara, the two inci­ the sukka. 8 dents must be related8• See Pacbad Yitzchok, Yom HaKippurini §7. All Services are Free of Charge We may ask, then - what protection 9 Drach Chaim §625. His well known answer is does the mitzvah of sukka extend more that were we to celebrate Sukkos during Nissan, than any other mitzvah? which falls at the beginning of the summer sea­ Executive Offices: son, when many people anyway leave their homes to live in sukka~like structures, it would not be 4228 Tenth Avenue Ill. THE COVER OF noticeable that we were sitting in the sukka for Brooklyn, New York I 12 I 9 THE CLOUDS OF GLORY the sake of a mitzva. Instead, we wait until Tishrei, when the summer is over and most people have Office: already left their cottages to return to their homes. et us begin by citing the 70-14 14/st Street Tur's By leaving our homes specifically at this time to Flushing, New York I I 36 7 famous question: since the Bnei dwell in the sukka, it is clear that our intention LYisroel first enjoyed the protection is solely to fulfill the mitzva. of the anannei hakavod when Hashem 10 The Vilna Gaon ( Gra=Gaon Rahbeinu SERVING BROOKLYN, QUEENS, redeemed them from Egypt, shouldn't El~yahu) on Shir Hashirirn 1 :4. & MANHATTAN we be required to dwell in a sukka in 11 See Targu1n, ShirHasbiri111, 2:17; 3:1. Thus Nissan, the month in which they left after the Eigel, the Torah states "KifanJ.a bu, 9 that it (the nation) was uncovered'' (Shenios Egypt? :)2,25), implying that the people were no The GraJO offers a remarkable reso­ longer surrounded by the anannei hakavod, lution to this question. He contends that but could be seen by all (A1achal Kedumfm). Sukkos does not commemorate the 12 See Shemos 35,1 with Rashi.

------·------~----- 10 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 construction of the Mishkan, 12 where the after Ezra and the Anshei Knesses Nation. Why, then, did they no longer Shechina would rest, thus demonstrat­ Hagedola had abolished the temptation deserve the protection of the clouds?" ing that He had completely forgiven them for avoda zara, their sukkos met all the When Hashem selected the Jewish for the sin of the Eigel Hazahav. 13 The halachic requirements, and embodied the Nation from all the nations of the world passuk states (Shemos 36,3) "and they essence of this mitzvah, as well. to be His cherished people and Hisser­ (Bnei Yisroe[) brought additional dona­ vants, and He gave us His Torah, we tions in the morning, in the morning," IV. THE SPIRITUAL DIMENSION became, so to speak, wedded to Hashem. i.e., they brought these gifts on the fol­ OF THE CLOUDS It is written: "Torah tziva lanu Moshe lowing two mornings, the Twelfth and morasha Kehilas Yaakov- The Torah that Thirteenth of Tishrei. Betzalel and the e may ask, however, why in fact Moshe commanded us is an inheritance wise men collected these items the next did the anannei hakavod to the Congregation of Yaakov" day, the fourteenth, and on the follow­ W depart after the sin of the Eigel? (Devarim 33,4). The Hebrew word ing day, the fifteenth of Tishrei, they After all, Hashem had pardoned the morasha is similar to me' orasa, which began to construct the Mishkan. 14 It was at this time that Hashem chose to envelop them again with the anannei hakavod, highlighting that the Jewish Nation was once again in His good graces. We can now understand the passuk in Nechemia: The Jewish People had always celebrated Sukkos, strictly adher­ ing to all the halachos (laws) pertaining to erecting and dwelling in the sukka, thus fulfilling their halachic duty. Nonetheless, since Sukkos recalls the return of the anannei hakavod, which sig­ nified Hashem's complete forgiveness of His People for their sin of the Eige/, then as long as there was a slight trace of avoda zara or even the possibility that one could • The menu for the seuda is stumble and worship avoda zara, the • The celebration is to be limited to 3 courses followed by a sukkos the Jews had erected could not be Vort regular dessert. considered a commemoration of the discontinued. The L'chaim (held at anannei hakavod in the fullest sense. the time that the engagement is • No Viennese table and no bar. Scripture therefore regards the returnees announced) should also not turn from Bavel as the first to observe this into a Vort. THE MUSIC mitzvah. Since they dwelt in the sukka THE WEDDING • A band may consist of a maximum • For typical families, only 400 invit­ of 5 musicians (one of the musicians Jj Se;· Rash1~---~~~hen1os 3-8,21; VaYikra 9~2~ ed guests may be seated at the chas­ may act as a vocalist) or four musi­ H See bnrei Chein, al HaTorah II, Kuntres Anannei Jiakavod, where he discusses how suna seuda. (The Guidelines make cians and one additional vocalist. they \.Vere allowed to build on that day even provision for exceptional circum­ • A one-man band is recom­ though it \\'as Yoni Tov. stances - see full text.) 1 ~ In contrast, the sin of the meragli1n, the spies, mended. •The kabbolas panim smorgasbord whose derogatory report about Eretz Yisroel the FLOWERS & CHUPA DECOR Jewish People had accepted, was a much graver should be limited to basic cakes, sin than that of the Golden Calf. This is evident fruit platters, a modest buffet, and • The total cost of these items for from the fact that Hashem accepted Moshe Rabbeinu's prayers after the transgression of the the caterer's standard chicken or the entire wedding should not Eige~ the nation was still eligible to enter the Land. meat hot dishes. exceed $1,800. However, although he also prayed that they be forgiven for believing the meraglim, Hashem vowed FOR THE FULL VERSION OF THE SIMCHA.GUIDELINES that they would all perish in the desert and would never see Bretz Yisroel. He agreed only not to elim­ WITH ITS RABBINICAL SIGNATORIES AND THE inate them immediately. Yet, the anannei hakavod ACCOMPANYING KOL KOREH, please email did not depart after this unpardonable sin (sec Devarirn 8,4 with Rashi). [email protected] or call 212-612-2300

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 11 means betrothed, i.e., when Bnei Yisroel Midbar. These clouds completely sur­ V. FIDELITY VS. BETRAYAL received the Torah, they were considered rounded them, protecting them from Hashem's bride. 16 enemy attack and shielding Bnei Yisroel here are many ways in which a When a couple marries, the groom from the harsh desert climate, the husband can hurt or anger his brings his bride to his home, where they extreme heat during the day and the bit­ Twife, as there are many ways in will share their lives and develop a rela­ ter cold at night. In addition, it killed any which she can hurt or anger him, but they tionship together. If Bnei Yzsroel were con­ predators or deadly snakes lying in wait, can also forgive one another and con­ sidered Hashem's bride, then it can be as well as any enemy attackers. 17 tinue their relationship. There is, how­ said that the anannei hakavod represent Moreover, they were spared the hardships ever, one unforgivable deed that destroys the home in which they dwelled with of travel; the Shach 18 compares the anan­ the marital bond: adultery. A wife who Him, and Hashem revealed His love for nei hakavod to a huge ship, where one commits adultery is forbidden forever Bnei Yisroel, as it states "the King has sits or stays in his berth, while the boat to her husband; her disloyalty cannot be brought me into His chambers" (Shir takes him to his destination. pardoned. The Torah describes the hus­ HaShirim 1,4). Rashi explains that this Furthermore, their journey was a band's feelings of being betrayed by his passuk refers to the anannei hakavod, in smooth one, for there was a special cloud wife's disloyal act as kina, or jealousy which He enveloped Bnei Yisroel in the that leveled any bumps and filled any pot (Bamidbar 5,14). In this context, kina holes that were in their path. denotes his outrage at being betrayed by But the anannei hakavod afforded us the one person he expects to exemplify Digest of Meforshim with more than mere physical protection fidelity. and comfort. Derech Hashem 19 explains We find that Hashem, kaviyachol, as ')v1v7 in:i ')v1v7 that they also created the optimum envi­ it were, also experiences kinna, as it is ':>"llT 1))V'm °m1T.lV l''Ol1TIT.l ronment for spiritual growth and written "Ei-l kana:' a vengeful or jealous Available at deveikus, closeness with G-d. When the G-d" (Shemos 20,4). Ramban21 observes LEKUTEI anannei hakavod lifted Bnei Yisroel off that this phrase is found only regarding c/o Yitzchok Rosenberg the ground and shielded them from the the sin of avoda zara - and then, only 1445 54th Street non-Jewish nations, they blocked out when it is committed by the Jewish Brooklyn, NY 11219-4228 their negative influences. They served as Nation. Ramban explains that since 718-854-6701 a vehicle through which Hashem Hashem has selected Bnei Yisroel from 20 Volumes on Torah, Perek, Medrash, removed Bnei Yisroel from this all nations, should they abandon Him Megilos, Talmud, and Tehilim. ephemeral world. As such, Hashem and turn to idolatry, that is an act of Proceeds of sales distributed aniong revealed more of His Shechina to them. betrayal akin to a wife who has an affair and used for reprinting of volun1cs out-of-print Similarly, since there was nothing dis­ with another man. Hence the Torah refers tracting them, they were able to cling to this as kinas Hashem. Hashem does not PRICE: $8.00 PER VOLUME totally to Him, and completely immerse expect such allegiance from the other themselves in His kedusha. 20 nations.22 Rabbi Yitzchak Hutner ~··n23 elabo­ rates on this theme: not only is an adul­ teress guilty of"sinning" against G-d, but

KIDS 16Kt~f-Yaka1;-··3;;;;fdb·;;~~.--1-·,"i; .. ·~~~:···R~·;;;;;~·;: below: see GurA01eh, Shenios38.21 d.h. she­ upport for Parents of Children-In-Conflict vifeit~ Yalkut § 684; cf. Sanhedrin 59a: SERVICES PROVIDED: Pesachi111 49b. 11 CONFIDENTIAL HOTLINE See Berachos 54a-b: Rashi to Ban1idbar 10,34. Parent Support Groups 18 As quoted by Me'a1n Lo 'az. She1nos 13,21. Yeshiva Liaison 19 IV 8,2. E-Mail Support Group 20 The eirev rav •vere not allowed into these Sibling Support Groups clouds; MeshPch Chochnia, Bantidhar 11, I; STARR - Female Sibling Program Zayis Ra 'anan to Yalkut §729: see. howev­ er, Tzaphnas Pane'ach, Ba1nidbar 5,4. Private Consultation 11 She1nos 20.3; see ll1oreh lVe!!uchim 1:36. Referrals 21 Nonetheless. >ve find that He does becon1e Educational Forums angered \vhen the other nations \vorship Prevention and Awareness auoda zara; see Berachos 7a. Group 25 I'achad Yitzchok. Chanuka. § 1. 1ni!u 'i1n; Shavuos § 14.

12 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 she is also culpable for betraying her hus­ band.24 Similarly, avoda zara differs from the other prohibitions of the Torah. The only reason any sin is in fact considered a sin is because Hashem recorded in the Torah that it is prohibited; one who will­ fully violates any act or behavior pro­ ELI SCHOSTAK, C.S.W. scribed by the Torah transgresses His will. But one who did not know that the Torah Specializing in Children and Adolescents prohibited this deed is not considered 917-930-5793 to have rebelled. The very act of wor­ shipping a foreign god, however, even if Brooklyn, New York New Office in Philadelphia, PA Umitecl Evening Hours no sin would be involved, is a betrayal of G-d, which causes irreparable dam­ age to one's relationship with Him. He has betrayed his Maker. Ramban25 explains that when Bnei Yisroel formed the Eigel, they had no intention of creating a god- a being that 1 has control over life and death. Rather, VISION. they sought an intermediary between themselves and Hashem. Moshe ROWTH. Rabbeinu, Hashem's shaliach (agent), had led them out of Egypt and guided them along the way. But now that the time for XCELLENCE. Moshe's return from the Heavens had apparently passed, they sought a new we first opened our doors, we set our to build a first class, out~ leader to direct them in their service of of~town yeshivah - including a , bais midrash and kollel. We Hashem. But even this is prohibited by selected only superb mechanchim for our limudei kodesh staff. We Torah law, and from the catastrophe that accepted the applications of only the finest talmidim, high caliber bnei Torah ensued, one can readily see why. with excellent midos and a desire to "shteig" in learning. We established a solid Most of the Jews did not worship the Regents-accredited general studies program. And the Mesivta flourished. Eigel. There were some) however, who Since then, we expanded our facilities twice. Finally, \Ve purchased a large did deify it - alas, with tremendous building and launched a campaign to prepare it for our future needs. enthusiasm. Those guilty of true idol 26 But the future has caught up to us. We ran out of sp worship were all punished. The oth­ right in the middle of our building campaign. ers, the majority, however, were forgiv­ For this year's pressing needs, \Ve renovated three floors for 6Uf Ti .... :i"hu.s.-~1cco~ding-to il/~1ha1ik<§I6-7). if~~~ tory. We are now in Phase II of the campaign, which will give u& ried \VOn1an ·\'-.rouid have an affair bt'GllJSt' she thought that it is permissible to have rela­ midrash, kitchen and dining facilities, classrooms, tions \Vlth another inan, she is prohibited to multi-purpose rootns, offices and much 1nore. return to her husband. In contrast, if one does not kno\v that a particular act is a sin ;:ind Reserve your share in the most as a result perforn1s this deed, it is regard­ exciting new Torah institution in the c·d as an unintentional act. She n1ight not have New York area. kno-~vn tl1at it is a sin ttl co1nn1it adultery, bu1 she was surely a\"\'are th

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 13 en for any sin they might have trans­ ing generously, thus showing their deep returnees felt they could no longer tol­ gressed, since they had not actually wor­ desire to be close with Him once more. erate the powerful desire for idolatry, shipped the EigeL Nonetheless, they were In fact, the Mishkan was to serve as a which could have such a disastrous effect involved in forming the Golden Calf, chuppa, where the marriage bond on their relationship with Hashem. which evolved into an idol worshipped between Hashem and Bnei Yisroel would They therefore prayed for the demise of by a few thousand of their brethren. become complete.27 Thus, when they this yeitzer hara. Scripture therefore con­ Furthermore, once they saw what had started to construct this sanctuary, the siders them to be the first to make sukkos, occurred, they should have protested this clouds returned, and once again they for they were the first to take the mes­ disgraceful deed; they should not have were welcome in Hashem's "home;' where sage of the sukka to heart, to the extent tolerated this abomination in their they were the recipients of His protec­ that they felt compelled to rid themselves midst. This incident caused terrible dam­ tion. It is these anannei hakavod, which of this terrible malady. age to their relationship with G-d; they represent our forgiveness for straying Not only did Hashem heed their were not worthy of being called His after avoda zara and our reunification prayers, and deliver the evil inclination "bride," nor were they worthy of with Hashem, that we are commanded to them, but He enabled the Babylonian dwelling together with Him, enveloped to remember while we dwell in the sukka. exiles to feel the Divine protection of the by the anannei hakavod. anannei hakavod and the closeness to After Moshe came down again from VI. COMING HOME TO DIVINE Hashem even after the holiday of the Heavens after Yorn Kippur, and PROTECTION ... Sukkos. Since they appreciated the exhorted then1 to donate towards the attachment to Hashem and were moved Mishkan, the people responded by giv- amchal" explains that one does to act and destroy any remaining avoda not observe the mitzvah of sukka zara, they deserved to remain in Ronly to recall the anannei Hashem's house even after the festival. hakavod of three thousand years ago. They thus had two reasons to rejoice: Rather, each year when one dwells in the one, for having fulfilled the mitzvah of sukka, one actually experiences the sukka properly, in law and in spirit; and spiritual benefits of the clouds of glory. two, for eradicating the temptation for We may be unable to truly see the anan­ avoda zara, which enabled them to con­ nei hakavod, but by entering the sukka, tinue to experience the sukka's spiritu­ one merits a measure of the Divine pro­ al protection.30 tection afforded to the Jews in the Desert. While one is sitting in the sukka, VII.. .. EVEN TODAY Hashem lifts him above the physical world, thereby removing the desires and his year, as we eat in the sukka, let distractions that one must normally us bask in the Divine protection overcome. One can then cling to Him Tand spiritual shelter it provides. and grow closer to Him. Thus, every And let us rejoice in the knowledge that Sukkos we return to the "home" that we are His beloved, who are welcome in Hashem provided to His young "bride" His home. If we take this message to 29 rn.,...... ,,..1n,;:,.11· " in the wilderness. heart, we too can draw closer to Him and l._ letVtl.~11 ~lq1 Let us now return to the passuk in His ways. • Global Cellular So!Utions #-@

14 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 Be Ignored... Dear Friend, October, 2004 We turn to you with an anguished cry from the depths of our heart to help save a family from total collapse! The father, a respected Talmid Chochom from our community and a tremendous Baal Chesed, whose every waking hour is spent helping others, has been working his entire life to support his large family of thirteen children l'l"Vi'· Unfortunately, the father has suffered a disastrous reversal in his business, and he is now drowning in a sea of debt. He is now struggling to recoup his losses, yet his income is far from providing even the most basic essentials, let alone paying back his astronomical debts. One of the children is engaged, but what would ordinarily be a time of simcha is a living nightmare. The father is hounded by his creditors without rest, and is unable to meet even the most basic daily expenses, let alone the tremendous expenses of the wedding, which he can't even consider. The situation is so desperate and bitter that it has begun seriously threatening his mental and physical health.

Please, don't delay! We urge you to send your generous contribution immediately in the enclosed envelope. Every day can spell the difference between this family's i1V1\?1' or the opposite 1"tl. In turn may you be repaid from Hashem with happiness, health, and nachas from your family. Sincerely,

/,~,,ro \"'" '=.1J" Novominsker Rebbe Mashgiacb Ruchn Lakewod

? ~ 1ef,ii r» ') ?f r W?'~iJI 'f ?i< Mezubizer Rov

Please Rush Your Tax Deductible Contribution To: Rabbi Aryeh Zev Ginzberg ''Nafla Eim BeYisroel­ A Mother Has Fallen in Israel''

The Life and Legacy of Rebbetzin Pesha Leibowitz ?"t Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim, Queens

THE REBBETZIN many talmidim, whether they hadn't been as "gatekeeper;' trying to preserve his there for a week, for a month, or for a health, would refuse me entry and or the close to 2,000 people who year. kindly ask me to return later. And yet, came to her levaya on such short The Rebbetzin was the quintessential at other times, despite the Rosh Fnotice, she was "The Rebbetzin" of "Eim Hayeshiva:' No matter how large Hayeshiva's schedule, I would be ushered Yeshiva Chofetz Chaim. That name the yeshiva had become, no matter how right in the moment I entered. She sensed encompassed for us the wonderful per­ many hundreds of talmidim the yeshi­ that this was what I needed at that son who was so full of love for each and va had, each talmid received special atten­ moment. every talmid of the yeshiva. tion and focus from "our mother." And Over twenty years ago, at a difficult But there was more. The Ponevezher as any mother would do, she never gave time in my life, I had to make an impor­ Rav?"~! once explained that "A yasom up on a child. Once, a close talmid of tant personal decision, and I consulted is not someone who has no one to worry many years became estranged and late one night with the Rosh Hayeshiva about him; it is one who lacks some­ moved to a different state. There was not and the Rebbetzin. As I left their home one special who understands him." a Yam Tov that would pass when the to attempt to resolve the problem with Many of us feel that we became Rebbetzin would not mention him, or their direction in hand, I was told to keep orphaned because we had lost someone express concern about his well-being. She them informed. who not only loved us, but who truly even offered a close talmid a portion of The next morning, the Rebbetzin understood us. her Olam Ha'emes if he could succeed called me before 7:00 am and chastised How often over the years when I in bringing that troubled talmid home. me for not reporting back to them - the would come to visit, she would open the Another talmid who was getting on Rosh Hayeshiva hadn't slept all night, wor­ door and call loudly to the Rosh in years and had not yet found his bash­ rying about me. I explained that it was Hayeshiva, Rabbi Henoch Leibowitz ert was called every Erev Shabbos for years too late to call, but things had gone well, N""""'1, "Oh, wonderful! Reb Aryeh Zev by the Rebbetzin just to wish him "good thanks to their help. I later approached is here to visit!" This was done with so Shabbos:' because that "child" needed it. the Rosh Hayeshiva to apologize for caus­ Rabbi Ginzberg, founding Rav of ()hr Moshe Somehow, the Rebbetzin knew exact­ ing him a sleepless night. He smiled at Torah Institute in Hillcrest, NY, is currently Rav ly when a talmidwould be needing atten­ me and commented that it was the of the Chofetz Chaim Torah Center of tion, and what the nature of that Rebbetzin who had had a sleepless Cedarhurst (Long Island), New York. He is a fre­ attention should be. Many times I night. quent contributor to JO, most recently with "A Tallis, A Wedding Dress, and the Mama Rachel" would come to visit the Rosh Hayeshiva, Her concern didn't end when (May'04). and the Rebbetzin, in her dedicated role talmidim left the yeshiva; on the contrary,

16 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 it grew. As many of them left to open strength would be needed to help build branches of the yeshiva around the coun­ the future of Torah in America for the try, she was concerned how their wives next half a century. and children were adjusting. When I The Rosh Ha Yeshiva 1<"""""'1 is the son would return fro1n visiting a branch or of the illustrious founder of Yeshiva the home of one of my chaveirim, the Chofetz Chaim, Rabbi Dovid Leibowitz Rebbetzin would ply me with questions ?··,.,',who was a talmid muvhak (prime concerning the needs of the home and disciple) of the Alterof Slabodka .,..,., and /or the family. a nephew of the Chofetz Chaim.,.. ,.,. Reb Dovid also learned under Rabbi Naftali * '* Rabbi Dovid Leibowitz?n:.;r Trop, and considered him his primary rebbi in Talmud. When 1 returned from a lengthy visit most of his years. Her father was Rabbi Many talmidim asked the Rebbetzin to Bretz Yisroel, 1 went to say "Shalom Avraham Trop ?··i11, later the Rosh why she didn't share her experiences in Aleichem" to the Rosh Hayeshiva and Yeshiva of Yeshiva Karlin-Stolin, in Europe with us when she shared so much Rebbetzin, and I expected an extremely Brooklyn, son of the famed Radiner Rosh else, including her time, her heart and warm reception. When 1 arrived, they Yeshiva Rabbi Naftoli Trop ?""lll. Reb her home, with her"children:' As one of were sitting with a younger tabnid, who Naftoli's shiurim were spread through­ the closest talmidim, Rabhi Dovid Chait had their full attention. I received a brief out Europe in his lifetime - and continue i.··v>?w, of Yeshiva Chofetz word of greeting, and they returned to to be studied by bnei Torah throughout Chaim in Yerushalayim, said in his elo­ their earlier conversation. Later, I was the Torah world. quent hesped, she was a very private per­ called and invited to come over, at which The stories of the family's escape from son, yet never had any privacy. Her home point, they extended an extremely warm the advancing Nazis w··, and her personal was always filled with bachurim, as was welcome .... It was in the very spirit of heroism should be the subject of a sep­ her Yorn 1ov and Shabbos table. When the Alter of Slabodka ., .. ,.,,focusing upon arate article. Her leadership abilities and she wasn't home, she would eat in the one of their children, at a time. mesiras nefesh were evident even in her yeshiva dining room with the Rosh The Rebbetzin's personal ambitions teen years. When, at one point, her Hayeshiva so they could spend more time were all deferred in favor of the Rosh younger brother was to be separated from with their "children." Ha yeshiva and his needs (as mentioned the rest of the family, she challenged the And I believe that she didn't share her by Rabbi Mordechai Tropper i.··1'W, one German soldiers to shoot her and past that much with us because her mind of their closest "children," in a hesped). refused to move away. Clearly, and heart were never focused on herself. She had a brief, but distinguished, Hashgacha was at work, protecting this She was completely devoted to the career as a "melaniedes." Rebbetzin young girl, whose extraordinary inner Rosh Hayeshiva and his Slabodka lega­ Vielma Kaplan ?··1 (the founder and dean * S;~--the bi~g-~aphicai tribut~~o hi~~i1y Rabbi cy. What she had was her private mem­ of Bais Yaakov High School and Yitzchak Brandriss, J(), Dec. '91. ories; the only iinportant thing was her Teachers' Seminary in Brooklyn), a prime disciple of Sarah Schenirer, once commented that she had had many won­ derful students in her career, which spanned many decades, but two students were in a class all by themselves: Rebbetzin Sarah Friefeld ?-1 and Rebbetzin Leibowitz ?-1. (Rabbi Yosef Singer related that he had met a woman who said that she had once had the Rebbetzin ?··1 as a substitute for only one day, and she had never forgotten that wonderful experience.)

THE EARLY DAYS

he Rebbetzin was born to an illustrious Torah family, and was Traised in the holy atmosphere of Radin, where the Chofetz Chaim lived

------The Jewish Observer, October 2004 17 life's mission of standing by the Rosh the truck again. That evening, the Hayeshiva's side and supporting him in Rebbetzin and I made four round trips to all his endeavors. the airport. I thought that we had had a very successful day and that we were enti­ THE ULTIMATE BAALAS CHESSED tled to a day off. The very next morning, the Rebbetzin called and said that he Rebbetzin's chessed was the Rebbetzin Kanarek had called about a kalla essence of her neshama. Years ago, who did not have a wedding dress. The Tdue to no zechus of my own, the Rebbetzin asked if I could pick up a wed­ Rebbetzin selected me to be her emissary ding dress at such-and-such a place and for some of her hidden acts of chessed go to the airport to try to prevail upon - many of which were unknown to most someone to take it along. She made it very people, including the Rosh Hayeshiva. clear that if! were unable to do it, she would I used to deliver envelopes with money do it herself. as mattan beseiser (anonymous gifts) to The thousands of talmidim and their Rabbi ffenoch Leibowitz N''Q>)w dozens of individuals, who, to this day, have families who were the object of her no idea where the money came from. The afford to clothe their families. The thoughts and concern clidn't stop her from Rebbetzin took upon herself the great bur­ Rebbetzin went into action. The talmidim having weekly phone conversations with den of helping a certain in Bretz who lived in her home can attest to the a ten-year-old boy from Boca Raton, the Yisroe~ which was suffering greatly-a ven­ house being crowded with boxes of used son of a talmidwho required a little extra ture she undertook with the Mirrer Rosh clothes that she collected to send to aniyei attention. No one knew of this besides the Hayeshiva, Rabbi Shmuel Berenbaum Eretz Yisroel. At first, she would call any­ boy and his family, as the Rebbetzin N .."'7\!! and his Rebbetzin. I once delivered body and everybody who was going to Bretz opened up her huge heart just a little wider an envelope to the Mirrer Rosh Hayeshiva Yisroel to take along a few pieces of cloth­ to embrace the needs of yet another young from the Rebbetzin for this family. He said ing, but that was not enough. boy. to me, "You talmidim have no idea what One of the talmidim was involved with She used to accompany the Rosh kind of gaon (genius) in chessed the an organization that organized tours to Hayeshiva on his annual visits to the branch Rebbetzin is:' I responded that I do know, Bretz Yisroel in the summer. He had made in Yerushalayim, saying that this was her and he quickly retorted, "No, you don't arrangements for the Rebbetzin to send vacation. I had accompanied her several know. She's megalla tefach and mechassa some boxes of clothing along with the times on her "vacations;' and from begin­ tefachaim" (covers more than she reveals). group. She called me to help, so we went ning to end, it was a fantastic journey of Then there were the clothes shipments. to the airport, shlepping over 20 boxes of chessed-from helping her family in Eretz Many years ago, on a visit to Bretz Yisroel, clothing. Upon arrival at the airport, we Yisroel with money, to spending time with someone commented to her that clothing were told that we could send more boxes. an aunt who was recently widowed, from was very expensive and people couldn't We rushed back to the house and filled up coordinating new opportunities for bring­ ing clothes for aniyim, to providing new shoes for the elderly cook in the yeshiva Our comprehensive who, the Rebbetzin noticed, was wearing evaluations and torn sandals. JUDlP-Start therapies are On one occasion, the Rebbetzin flew performed free to Eretz Yisroelwith over 30 pieces oflug­ EARLY INTERVENTION of charge, in the gage filled with old clothes, and, not hav­ A Division of Women·s League Community Res1de11ces, Inc privacy and convenience of ing any more room, filled her coat pockets with sweaters and gloves for someone who might need those, as well. ~-l}jr:'fVICIS:S PROVIOll=O: 11 OT, PT and Speech Therapy tt Respite v Speclal lns\ruction tt UnparaHeled Service n adam gadol once commented tt Nutrrtion Vision Therapy, Coordination . A - r '1i h (small caseloads with SS!S!Ve ,ec noogy_1 , personalattentionby about his late wife's commitment o- Psychologlcal Counseling I Social experienced case to his Torah and to his yeshiva by Worl

Foe moce ;nfo because of her." He added, "All that is please call 718- 853- 970 T/t<$ early '"'""""'"°" ptogtam " /Ut>ded and regularl< ow. by the NewYo'k ("y Dc~o"mont of Menear f.leohh,Mo Rt;ra.-da"on oM AfcltaOoh'm Srnoces_ Appro~ by dte Oepor

18 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 OHEL helps change the direction of life Dr. Susan Schulman

NOT JUST "A BAD HABIT" mon knowledge. That is, that smoking is an ADDICTION. ur community has a real Although the tobacco companies problem. A number of have been aware of this, they con­ 0 adolescent yeshiva bach­ cealed the information for urim, age 13 to 18, are starting to decades. It became public knowl­ smoke. This is nothing new. There edge only recently during the legal have always been smokers in the confrontations between tobacco yeshivos. We have always accept­ victims and the companies. ed it as an unfortunate fact of life. We now understand why it is "What can we do?" "How can we so hard for a smoker to stop, even prevent it when so many adults in when told that his life depends on their yeshiva world smoke?)'''It is it. We now understand why so not assur according to halacha." many fathers and husbands "There is no way to stop boys from spend the last few minutes before doing what their peers do." smokin9 Shabbos standing outside or sit­ The tragic reality is that most ting in their cars smoking and of these boys will not be able to inhaling deeply. We now know stop smoking. Is there really why a perfectly normal man will nothing we can do to stop our pre­ go out of his office building on a cious young boys from becoming Addic:tion•, miserable wet, windy day to stand chronic smokers for the rest of huddled together with all types of their lives? It is time to take a dif­ people with whom he has noth­ ferent look at the nature of this ing else in common. It's the problem. addiction. Until recently, the association Smoking, then, is not just a "bad of tobacco and illness was only habit" like nail biting. It is differ­ vague. There were even people ent in a very basic way. Habits can who felt that it was good for the be broken with some behavior lungs. When researchers in the modification. Addictions are 1960's first began to show evi­ changes in the "hardwiring" of the dence that smoking was causing brain. lung cancer, and the Surgeon In smoking addiction, the General's Report confirmed it in drug, nicotine, is the major com­ 1964, the medical world started ponent. The smoker's brain looking more closely at the pop­ develops a dependency on the ulation of smokers. drug as it affects his feelings and Since that time, new medical sense of comfort. The urge to information has piled up year by smoke is generated by a discon1- year. It is now known that smok­ fort associated with withdrawal of ing dramatically increases the the drug. The smoker needs to risk for heart attacks, stroke, can­ smoke to take away the discom­ cer of the lungs, mouth, throat, fort. Without it, he feels edgy, rest­ and bladder, pneumonia, bron­ Jess, irritable and sometimes chitis, emphysema, and asthma. anxious and depressed. Satisfying The risks of breathing second hand this need is so important that the smoke have also been demon­ smoking addict will sacrifice his strated. own money, health and wellbeing The most startling medical to achieve it. revelation is just becoming com­ Breaking the addiction is Dr. S. Schulman, a pediatrician, and Dr. R. extremely difficult. All frum smok­ Schulman (author of the sidebar on page ers stop for Shabbos, but they usu­ 24), an endocrinologist, maintain their n1ed­ ally hurry to light up immediately ical practice in the Boro Park section of after Maariv. Brooklyn. Their patients are primarily of the yeshiva- and general-Orthodox population. Even when the smoker manages

20 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 to stop smoking, the urges have to be One thing is sure. Peer pressure is so reasonable at all. We should hold the boys dealt with for many years to come. This important to adolescent boys, that if a to the same standard as the girls. It could addiction is now considered a medical bachur knows that smoking would save their lives. illness by insurance companies and make him a social outcast, he will The obvious solution is: We must medical experts. think twice before starting to smoke. How change the social acceptance standard in do we know that this is true? Look at the our society that allows a boy to be con­ FROM SOCIAL ISSUE .•. girls in our society. Not one girl in the sidered socially desirable even if he TO GETTING HOOKED social mainstream would even think of smokes. starting to smoke. It would ruin her Yonng people have a tendency to think he fact of the matter is that most socially. So the girls do not smoke at all. of themselves as being immune to con­ smokers wish they could stop. Why is it true that a smoking girl is sequences. They tend to see themselves TMany have tried repeatedly and not considered "fine and good,'' while a as invincible. We know better. That is why failed. When a study was done of atti­ smoking boy can still be the "best we, as parents and teachers, have to set tudes of people purchasing cases of cig­ bachurin the yeshiva"? This doesn't seem guidelines and restrictions when it arettes at a discount depot, 85% of them answered No to the question "Are you happy to be a smoker?" and the same per­ centage answered Yes to the question "Would you stop smoking if you could?" With so much now known about the bad consequences of smoking, why do our bachurim start smoking? Most boys will report that they were first introduced to cigarettes in yeshiva. Some started on Purim or with chassan cigarettes. Others started when an older bachur gave them a cigarette and showed them how to inhale. • Even nowadays, when some yeshiv­ os have become stricter about smoking, the boys in each school can easily show you the stairwell or rooftop where the smokers go to smoke. The adolescent It hurts boys feel that it is socially desirable to smoke because it makes them feel grown up and important. They look up r to smoking and older, cool boys who are their role models. Starting to smoke requires effort and o. determination. When a boy first tries a cigarette, it makes him cough and gag. He feels a little lightheaded and nause­ It feels better just to talk about it. That's why we're here. Our staff is made up of ated. He decides to keep trying until the caring and sensitive individuals. Together, choking stops and he can enjoy the good we can help you explore your options. We feeling. " If everyone else can learn to do can refer you to recognized professionals for counseling, legal advice or help in it, I can too." By the time he gets used finding a safe environment. We can also to the smoking, he is starting to feel the put you in touch with some very special pull for the next cigarette. Rabbis. But in order for us to reach out to The most important point is that this you, you must first reach out to us. whole process starts for social reasons. Confidential Hotline 1.888.883.2323 None of these boys starts by needing to (Toll Free) smoke. They start by needing the 718.337.3700 social acceptance of their peers. They Do it for yourself. !NYC Area) end up with an addiction and a peck Do it for your children~ ShalomTaskforce1sa501(c)(3}charitableorgan1zation of trouble.

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 21 comes to adolescent behavior. from starting to sn1oke. We must ask ative facts regarding smoking, including We give them dress codes and behav­ these fine people who are also addicted how addictive it is. Tell them you will be ior codes that have to be followed to to smoking to look upon themselves and very disappointed if they ever start to maintain their social status as good and the example they are setting. They smoke. Repeat this often throughout ado­ acceptable. We must include not smok­ must always be aware that merely by lescence. Your words will remain with ing as one of the standards of acceptable smoking in front of children, they them and give them strength to resist. adolescent behavior. We simply must not could be responsible for attracting them Explain that many wonderful people stand by and allow these kids to make to starting to smoke. These adults could smoke, but that they wish they had never a mistake that will have a negative impact tell the children how sorry they are to started. We must respect them, but we on the rest of their lives! be stuck with this terrible burden. must also feel sorry for their affliction. What an impact it would have on the stu­ When you see a young [rum person STEPS WE CAN TAKE dents if a rebbi looked at them directly, smoking, say, "That person doesn't look and said, "Beloved bachurim, I was young cool. He looks like someone who is mak­ ince the problem starts as a social when I first started smoking. I never ing a big mistake. He thinks he is hold­ issue) it needs a social solution. I dreamed I would not be able to stop. I ing that cigarette but he is wrong. The Swould suggest several things that we didn't know it would cause addiction. No cigarette is holding him!" can do to cause the necessary change in one knew it in those days. It was the 3. Shidduchim attitude. biggest mistake I ever made. I want to Consider smoking as a very serious 1. The Smoking Adult stop. I am still trying, but it is so very issue when looking for a shidduch for The fear of causing shame to adult hard! Please forgive me for setting such your daughter. Not smoking should be smokers who are learned and respect· a bad example. Don't make the same mis­ included on her list of desired charac­ ed role models in our Orthodox com· take I did!" teristics. By age 45, the smoker could very 1nunity has been a real concern in dealing We must look upon these men with likely have real medical problems. Your with this matter. Because of this, no effec­ sympathy and concern, not disrespect. daughter has a right to have a healthy tive actions have been taken to solve this 2. Prevention is the Cure husband and father for her children after problem. You, as parents, must talk to your boys 20 years of marriage. The fact is, the adults who smoke can before age 10, long before they are offered The girls should be made aware of all be a major force in preventing bachurim a cigarette. Tell them about all of the neg- of the important facts regarding smok·

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22 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 This will not only save these bachurim, • it will have a major impact on the prob­ e must include not smoking as one of lem. If there are no older bachurim smok­ ing and no role models who smoke, the Wthe standards of acceptable younger generation of boys will not even adolescent behavior. We simply must not be tempted to try smoking. stand by and allow these kids to make a e now know that this is a dif­ ferent type of problem than we mistake that will have a negative impact W ever dreamed about. Until our community wakes up and tal,es the social on the rest of their lives! actions needed to discourage children from starting to smoke, every child who picks up smoking fron1 now on is our • responsibility. We cannot throw up our ing, even though they don't smoke. It is They must stop because they will soon hands and give up on our sons. We owe only fair that they know about the med­ realize that their whole future really it to them to get this problem under con­ ical illness of addiction and all of the con­ depends on it, socially and medically. trol before more lives are ruined. We, as sequences of smoking. Some people are helped with a combi­ a comn1unity, as parents, as teachers and They should know that if a boy says, nation of medication and therapy. as rabbanhn, have it in our power to do "I will stop smoking as soon as we get (See sidebar.) it. The fact is, we must do it. • engaged;' it is probably not true. He may well be an addict. She should say, "If you can stop smoking, you should do it immediately, and if you are successful, you may call me after 6 months of being 'clean."' If a boy hears this often enough Perso11al responsibility throughout service - NOT JUST "PAPERWORK"' and decides to really stop, the pain of this ORIGINATOR OF THE PRESENT RABBINICALLY APPROVED METHOD rejection could save his life. If the girls Highly recommended by Gedolai Hador- Here and in Eret7. Yisrael collectively refuse to marry smokers, the 104.1-42ntl Street, Brooklyn, IVY 11219 boys will be much less inclined to sn1oke. Day & N"ight phone: (718) 851-8925 4. The New Rules )))t»r.lN1~r.lNi' ))l"i' - l"'T~ 1Nl nlr.lll)) 'll~ A new atmosphere should prevail in Kavod Haniftar with Mesiras Nefesh and compassion for the bereaved family. TAHARAS ffANIFTAR SHOULD NEVER RE COMMf:RCIALJZED yeshivas, wherein the first cigarette should be treiffor a yeshiva bm:hur. Ideally, elementary and high schools should expel a student who is seen anywhere, anytime, smoking. Not smoking should be includ­ ed in the formal rules of dress and behav­ ior that allows a boy to be included as a student of the yeshiva. Additionally, the adult faculty and employees of the yeshiva, including Rebbeiln, teachers, administrators, and even maintenance crew, should never FOR smoke in front of the students, even out­ THE FINEST· side the school setting. IN 5. The Smoking Bachur Your sons, your nephews, and your neighbors who are among the unfortu­ AND VIDEO nate young bachurim who have already started smoking must be helped to stop. USA/ISRAEL The sooner, the better. Even though at times it may be difficult, it can be done.

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 23 For many years, cigarette smoking (as a means of relaxing, unwinding, and clearing the mind) has been a common fea­ ture of the yeshiva world. In fact, Roshei Yeshiva and maggidei shiur often smoked. Even though medical evidence has demonstrated unequivocally that it is a hazardous practice, there is still a vestige of acceptability in regard to smoking in some parts of the Torah community; It is important that - in addition to the warnings expressed in the other article on the topic in these pages -serious attention be given to methods for the individual smoker to gain control and aban­ don this habit completely. The following article by Dr. Robert Schulman addresses this topic: The Treatment of Sntoking Addiction Everyone knows that smoking is bad for one's health; 2) Nicotine replacement devices.These are nicotine yet, there are still many intelligent, decent, upstanding patches, nicotine inhalers, lozenges, and gum. They reduce people still smoking in our society today. What can be done the cravings experienced during withdrawal from the nico­ to help them break the grip that smoking has on their lives? tine in the cigarettes. When the smoker quits, the dose The vast majority of smokers are addicted to the drug used is high, and eventually lowered gradually so the nico­ nicotine. This addiction is also accompanied by behaviors tine can be stopped with fewer, more tolerable withdrawal (such as always lighting up when drinking coffee or driv­ symptoms. ing) that are considered habits. The combination of addic­ tion and habit is very hard to overcome. 3) Oral medication/Antidepressants. These drugs I have patients, smokers in their forties, who have spent work on depression, but they also work on the same region weeks in the ICU with complications of a heart attack. They of the brain that is effected by the nicotine. When this are clearly aware that they must stop smoking. modality is used, it can be started one week before the Unfortunately, they cannot stop even though they know quit date. that their lives depend on it. This is a powerful addiction. The withdrawal symptoms are so uncomfortable that they lf a smoker tries any of these and fails to stop, or starts do not have the strength to tolerate them. Even when they again, there is a new approach that has a better chance do stop, they often relapse. They think about smoking every of success. That is, to use all three simultaneously. day, and when they are with a smoking person or are in None of these methods make smoking cessation easy, a vulnerable moment, the temptation is too strong. cheap and convenient. Fortunately, medical science has recently made real Nicotine replacement is expensive, costing about three advances in assisting the cessation of smoking . A physi­ dollars a day, and is not covered by insurance. It has cian, usually a Primary Care Physician or Psychiatrist, should recently been shown that higher doses and more pro­ monitor thew.hole process of smoking cessation. The patient longed usage of these devices (than are currently rec­ must look for a physician who is experienced and inter­ ommended) might be necessary to prevent relapse. The ested in helping with this particular problem money saved every day by not buying cigarettes offsets This physician will startthe quitting process, prescribe the this expense. necessary medication, follow the progress of the withdrawal, The antidepressant, Zyban, is FDA approved for this pur­ watch for drug related complications, and provide guidance pose but many insurance companies will not pay for it. and encouragement through this difficult experience. They will, however, pay for the antidepressant Bupropion There are three helpful modalities that can be used once (Welbutrin), which is the same drug. the smoker is really motivated to stop. Behavior modification can sometimes be done by the smoker himself with the guidance of the prescribing physi­ 1) Behavior modification. These techniques work on the cian, but often needs a therapist or a group to be effec­ habits and the addiction of smoking. The first step is a clear tively implemented. I commitment to stop smoking. The smoker must set a quit Despite all of the intervention described, many smok­ date and tell friends and relatives about it and ask them for ers take more than one "try" to stop smoking permanently. support. He must then clean the house and the car and remove They must be encouraged to keep trying if they fall back smoking odors and all reminders of the habit. This includes into the habit. Success is still possible. taking ashtrays away, moving furniture to change the place Although stopping smoking can be inconvenient, uncom­ ofa desk or.favorite smoking chair, and removing all ciga­ fortable, and somewhat costly, it is worth every bit of the rettes that are stored anywhere. There are many addition­ effort and expense. It will definitely improve the quality al methods that can be applied, from hypnosis to Cognitive of life for the smoker and the people in his life. It will add Behavioral Therapy to group support like "Smoke Enders." years to his life expectancy as well. •

24 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 Rabbi Abraham Twerski

r. Schulman's passionate appeal Ironically, lung cancer is not the worst of Some progress has been made. Years in "Smoking Addiction - A the consequences, because cancer mer­ ago, one could cut the srnoke in the beis D New Perspective" needs little cifully kills. What is far worse is emphy­ midrash with a knife. Today, in many embellishment and few additions. sema, a living death. Smoking destroys the yeshiva buildings, smoking is forbidden. As someone who has spent forty years elasticity of the lung, so that breathing That is certainly a step in the right direc­ in the treatment of a variety of addic­ becomes so labored that all the oxygen tion, but it falls short of saving the lives tions, I can attest to the fact that ciga­ gained in a breath is used up just to exhale. of youngsters who smoke outside the rette addiction is one of the most I sat with the Steipler Gaon as he cut building. dangerous and resistant addictions. a cigarette into fourths and said, "This Dr. Schulman is correct in stating that True, some people have been able to stop is a curse I cannot get rid of' I have spo­ smoking begins as a social phenomenon, smoking on their own, but countless peo­ ken with a number of poskim who said and the steps that she has outlined can ple have tried unsuccessfully to break the that the reason they have not pronounced be very effective in curtailing this prac­ addiction. When a person knows that what an issur is because just as it is a mitzvah tice. It is high time that we address smok­ he is doing is harmful but cannot refrain to tell someone something which he may ing as a pikuach nefesh issue. • from doing it, that is an addiction. obey, so it is a mitzvah to refrain from I have had patients who were able to saying something which will not be overcome their addiction to drugs, but obeyed. "'''i" could not stop smoking. I have had However, there is universal agreement earning ora patients who stopped using heroin but that one should not introduce oneself to died from the effects of cigarettes. a harmful condition from which one may every day brings The dependence on the chemical effect be unable to escape. It is, therefore, of nicotine can be intense) and for many unthinkable that young boys should be light and joy into people, stopping to smoke results in very allowed to start this terribly destructive distressful symptoms. These can be habit. Whatever people in authority can your life. eased with certain medications such as do to prevent young people from smok­ fain the thousands who buproprion and clonodine patches, but ing is a sacred obligation upon them. follow our LUA CH daily. one must make a determined commit­ The following words are harsh, but ment to stop smoking. they are not mine." Whoever has the capa­ We will send you this Luach FREE bility to prevent someone from doing wrong for Mishna and Halaeha Yomis. Worse than cancer and does not exercise it, is responsible for Write to: that person's act" (Shabbos 54b). If o one today is ignorant of the roshei yeshiva and rabbanim are unable Rabbi Elias Karp harmful effects of cigarettes on to prevent adolescents from starting to 4701 15th Avenue Brooklyn, NY 11219 N many parts of the body. smoke, then they are not culpable. If, however, anyone who does have the abil­ Or call: 718-851-0770 Rabbi Dr. Twerski is founder and medical direc~ ity to stop youngsters from smoking does tor of the Gateway Rehabilitation Center of In memory of Pittsburgh, and author of many works on both not exercise it) he bears a truly grave Rabbi eY Mrs. Charles Batt, psychiatry and Torah subjects. responsibility. Hartford, Conn.

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 25 Advertisement Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv: "Whoever is in a position to help Chinuch Atzmai when it is in such danger has a holy obligation to do so."

By Eliezer Reichman An emergency 1neeting on behalf of Chinuch Atzmai was held earlier this week at the hoine of Rav Azriel Auerbach. In the course of the meeting, Rav YosefShalotn Elyashiv received a report outlining the extent of the Torah school network's financial crisis frmn Chinuch Atzmai officials. Rabbi Aharon Feldman, Rosh of , also participated in the 1nccting. After listening carefully to the series of govern1nental decrees implen1entcd recently against Chinuch Atzmai, Rav Elyashiv said: "There is no need to explain the in1portance ofChinuch Atzmai, which was founded by the Gedolei Torah of the previous generation. Thanks to the network. tens of thousands of children have received a Torah education. The situation today is such that a real, i1n1nediate threat hovers over Chinuch From left to right: R. Meir Luria; R. Avrohom Yosef Lazerson; R. Yosef Efrati; Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv; Atzmai, and it is possible that it will Rav Aharon Feldman; R. Tni Boymel not be able to continue, and will be forced to close some of its schools, chalila. Feld1nan asked Rav Elyashiv whether Kod1ni1n - the poor in your city take Over the years, this phenomenon has "Therefore, there is no doubt that a person living in the United States prefCrcnce over poor people elsewhere. resulted in thousands of non-religious whoever is in a position to help has a should give priority to supporting Rav Elyashiv responded that children, as well as their parents and holy obligation to do so, and must not Chinuch Atzmai, or to local Torah supporting Chinuch Atzmai takes siblings, rediscovering the beauty of stand by while this holy institution mosdos in his com1nu:r.ity? Rav priority over supporting local institutions Yiddishkeit and accepting upon remains in danger." Feldn1an cited the well-known principle in America. themselves the yoke of Torah and Jn the course of the meeting, Rav in Hilchos Tzadckah of Ani'ey Ircha Since the children who attend mitzvos. Chinuch Atzmai schools would be non­ The proponents of secularism in Eretz religious if it were not for Chinuch Yisroel, 1nost prominent ainong them. ... Rav Elyashiv responded that Atzmai, supporting Chinuch Atzmai the Shinui Party and its leader, Tommy has a din ofMitzvas Pidyon Shevu'im Lapid, view Chinuch Atzmai's steady supporting Chinuch Atzmai takes priority redeeming captives - which takes growth as a direct threat to their vision precedence over the principle of Ani 'ey of Israel as a secular state devoid of all over supporting local institutions. lrcha Kodmim. re1nnants of authentic Judais1n. For this "Hakadosh Baruch Hu will help so reason they have embarked on a Since children who attend Chinuch that there should be enough also for campaign to not only check the Atzmai schools would be non-religious if local institutions and also for the inosdos network's growth, but to destroy it here in Eretz Yisroel," Rav Elyashiv completely. it were not for Chinuch Atzmai, said, and then he addressed the Chinuch Chinuch Atzmai has responded to Atz111ai officials and gave them words this crisis by eliminating all non­ supporting Chinuch Atzmai has a din of of chizuk. He also gave a beracha to all essential programs from its curriculmn; those who stand by the network and reorganizing its educational and Mitzvas Pidyon Shevu'im - redeeming support its activities. administrational infrastructure; Rav YoscfEfrati, a close disciple of downsizing its pen:onnel to the bare captives - which takes precedence over Rav Elyashiv, added that in addition to 1ninimu1n; temporarily suspending vital the principle of Ani'ey lrcha Kodmim. the mitzvah of spreading Torah components of its Torah curriculu1n; observance among the Jewish People, asking its teachers to continue working "Hakadosh Baruch Hu will help so that all those who support Chinuch Atz1nai without pay; and organizing emergency at this difficult ti1ne also fulfill the fundraising 1neetings throughout there should be enough also for local mitzvah of heeding the words of the America to gamer increased support. Gedolei Torah of their generation - Lo The An1erican Torah community can institutions and also for the mosdos here Sasur Mikol Asher Yorucha. show its support for Chinuch Atzmai in The decrees against Chinuch Atzmai these difficult times by broadening its in Eretz Yisroel," Rav Ely ash iv said, and come in the wake of the network's commitment to Keren M'Kimei then he addressed the Chinuch Atzmai steady increase in enrollment, mainly HaTorah. By increasing its support for due to the success of its kiruv Chinuch Atzmai, the American Torah officials and gave them words of chizuk ... schools ··- Torah institutions located con1munity can make a difference. It in non-religious cities which cater to can ensure the future of Torah and children from non-religious homes. mitzvos in Bretz Yisroel. '~.:)'11!> 1 Ill il::ll1 IJ.. ~' ''The more they oppressed them, the more they grew and flourished''

Chinuch Atzmai-Torah Schools in Israel opens the 5765 school year with: A decrease in government An increase of 5,200 children subsidies of $30 million for a new total of 84,837

The enemies of Torah realize that Chinuch Atz1nai is the key to "During this time of misfortune and crisis, we the steady expansion of the Torah community in Eretz Yisroel. must not remain silent. It is our obligation to Let Chinuch Atzmai survive, and the Torah community's growth will continue; unite and see to it that the Chinuch Atzmai

destroy Chinuch Atzn1ai 1 and the growth of Torah Judaism in Israel may stop. network continues its vital work." It's as simple as that. Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv

This year, the very core of Chinuch Atzmai is in danger because of government cuts in funding for: fOThe Mesivta progrrim, encompassing the entire afternoon Torah study curriculum *-Transportation of kiruv students to the nearest Torah school eThe summer camp program, providing kiruv children with a Torah environment during the summer that keeps them off the streets *Teaching hours, manipulating regulations which force a reduction in subsidies *The curriculum, facing an attempt to introduce secular subjects completely rejected by Gedo!ei Yisroel *Accommodating new students- the Government has capped funding for grovvt:h of all schools at 4% per year, while in reality many Chinuch Atzmai schools grow by as much as 30% annually

;}(· Yes! I want to help save Torah chinuch in Eretz Yisroel by supporting the Keren M'Kimei Ha Torah Campaign.

j 0 Please accept my contribution of$ ____ :, Orlease bill me$ _____ Name ! 0 Please bill my credit card. Address. CCII______Exp. Date __ /__ City ______State ___ Zip __ :. 0 Please send me 1nore information on Chinuch Atzmai Schools.

j~~:r; ... ~--L.l·c:: ~ G;;.1"' CHINUCH ATZMAI

Chinuch Atzmai Torah Schools for Israel. US: 40 Exchange Place, New York NY 10005. Tel 212-248·6200 Israel. 17 Adoniyahu Hakohen Street, Jerusalem. THE PINTELE YID Chana Nestlebaum

Lost and Found

Poignant Encounters

our first impulse is to laugh. A lives? Without Shabbos, without learn­ ed, ready-to-eat and demands no real well-known Jewish actor is asked ing, without the skills to speak the words effort. Eventually, however, the false feel­ Ywhat being Jewish means to him, of tejilla and Tehillim, theirs is a spark ing of satiation subsides, and the and he says it means a lot, although "I that burns on nothing. It's a Jewish neshama is left hungrier than ever. don't go to on Friday or put on neshama gasping for air. "Back in the late Sixties and early tejillin before I go to bed or anything like Seventies, I belonged to my temple's that." ALL THE WRONG PLACES youth group;' recalls Shulamis. ''.And you Or perhaps your impulse is to shake know what? We were very passionate your head in despair at the deep igno­ or reasons only Hashem can about Judaism. If someone would have rance that plagues American Jewry - even understand, when these Jews look exposed us to the real depths of Torah, among those who claim to have a Ffor meaning in their Judaism, we would have eaten it up. But instead, strong Jewish identity. they seldom consult the Torah and its we were always trying to 'make Judaism But perhaps the most useful response authentic mesora. Educated and erudite relevant.' I remember working with a is awe and wonder. Imagine the power in hundreds of other ways, they feel con­ committee on the youth Yorn Kippur of a spark that stays alive even after it's fident that there's nothing in the old-fash­ services. We inserted all kinds of stuff­ buried under a heap of ashes. Imagine ioned Judaism of their grandparents that lyrics from a Bob Dylan song, poems, going to the trouble of sheltering this frail, holds any relevance for them. They inno­ anti-war messages. It was all geared at glowing ember when you have no idea vate in ways that drive the Orthodox finding ways of making it more mean­ what it needs or what it's for. world into despair, dismay or, sometimes, ingful. We wanted meaning. The fact that there are millions of Jews disgust. "Once a year, we used to have an all­ throughout America who claim their But most often, they are not motivated night program and then walk to the lake, identity with pride is indeed an object by a desire to rebel. They're driven by which was not far from the temple, and of wonder. One might wonder: what con­ their awareness of the spark within and have a sunrise Shacharis. I guess that was nects them? From where do they derive its demand for some kind of nourish­ some kind of Shavuos program, but I any joy or satisfaction in their spiritual ment. Without a Torah background, they have no memory of the holiday being Mrs. Nestlebaum is the editorial director for Oorah have nothing but junk food to feed it. mentioned. Sunday mornings, we had Kiruv Rechokim, Lakewood, NJ It's a brand of Torah that is sugar coat- what they called 'T&T; which was 'Tallis

28 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 and Tefillin; followed by a bagel break· Until recently, the volunteers' only tool "It's interesting that Shabbos wasn't fast. In those days, the tallis and tefillin to overcome that suspicion was to keep even on her radar screen, yet she had it were still for boys only. My friend and trying in a very low-key, yet persistent, in her to contact us and ask a question;' I used to go to the kosher bakery a few manner over the course of time. he said. doors down and get the goodies. There Websites provide another tool. Door· A woman from Hawaii was given a were also loads of Shabbatons, but we to-door kiruv volunteers can leave telephone chavrusa, who has been guid­ called them 'conventions."' behind a card inviting the family to log ing her toward Shabbos observance. "I What was the result of all this active on to an appropriate site. Oorah's site, appreciate the fact that she doesn't push;' engagement with this form ofJudaism? gottorah.com, offers a gentle introduc· the woman reports. '(In fact, she tries to "I don't have statistics, but I know that tion to the concept of Torah learning and slow me down when she feels I'm tak­ quite a few of the kids ended up inter­ Torah education for children. Without ing on too much at once. I feel so for­ marrying;' Shulamis reports. "One of the traveling into unknown territory, site vis­ tunate to have her in my life:' most active 1nembers of the group itors have a chance to see videotaped In Ecuador, a recently widowed became a Jew for J. When she told me interviews with kiruvrabbis, parents who father of two boys utilized the Web to about it, she explained that she wanted have transferred their children into day find some spiritual sustenance to give his a religion that had some guidelines about school and others who have begun adopt· children. Now he is learning with a right and wrong! There were at least two ing Torah observance. chavrusa, and has been provided with others that ended up becoming what they There are many other sites as well. tefillin, sefarim and Spanish-language called 'completed Jews: Some, like aish.com, torah.org, ou.org Jewish books for his children. "As far as I know, I'm the only one and :shcrnayisrael.com, offer a stimulating Upon receiving the tefillin, he wrote, who became completely observant. variety of articles, halacha information, "I want to thank you for the tefillin you Maybe a few others keep kosher homes. hashkafa and simple facts like candle­ sent me. It's the most important gift I've It makes me sad to think of what all these lighting times, all in user-friendly lan­ ever received in my life. Now I will be people would have today - what Kial guage that speaks to a secular public in able to teach my kids to put on tefillin Yisroel would have had today- if some­ terms that are familiar and comfortable. when they are bar mitzvah. Thank you one had just fed us the right informa· Needless to say, however, a website alone very much - I am really happy:' tion. We were an inspired bunch of kids. won't ferry a Jew all the way from agnos­ I don't know if my own children going ticism to religious devotion. Real, live OUR OWN BACK YARD to yeshiva and Bais Yaakov are as people have to be there to help transform inspired as we were." intellectual interest into spiritual loser to home, gottorah.com is growth. But once a comfort level is estab­ having a gradual, but real, impact THE RIGHT PLACE lished, the next visit from a kiruv vol­ Con the non-religious Jews who unteer will often elicit a whole new abound in the towns surrounding ith the blossoming of the response. Often, the family is a lot less Lakewood, NJ. To anyone who has ever kiruv movement, real suste­ suspicious and a lot more willing to talk. crossed Lakewood's borders, the black· W nance for hungry souls has hatted yeshiva contingent is a familiar become available in hundreds of venues. THE RIGHT TIMING sight. But to most, it's not a very com­ If a person searches a Jewish newspaper, forting sight, for the community see1ns the Web or even the phone book, he has presence on the World Wide exotic, if not downright eccentric, to those a good chance of encountering a reliable Web vastly expands kiruvs reach looking in from the outside. The religious source of authentic Torah learning. A beyond the frontiers of established community sponsors dozens of learn­ The Web, in particular, has opened religious con1munities. Hawaii, Ecuador, ing venues for non-religious Jews, but many new doors. Recently, Oorah Kiruv Portland, Oregon, and dozens of other the percentage of them who venture Rechokim, which has been doing door­ spots across the country and the globe within is painfully small. to-door kiruv in the New York-New Jersey have been starting points for the spiri­ Kiruv volunteers try to break down area for the past 30 years, branched out tual return oflong-lost Jews making con­ the barriers. They arrive at the door of into cyberspace. The original purpose was tact through the Web. a Jewish home with a gift, a website busi­ not so much to net Jewish cyher­ One contact asked for advice on her ness card, and a smile. If the family wants searchers as it was to provide a comfort choice of wedding date. She wanted to nothing to do with them, they just leave level to those being contacted in person. know if it coincided with any Jewish hol­ the gift and the card behind, hoping that Naturally, people are reluctant to open iday. Upon checking the 2005 date, the family, ifleft to its own devices, might their doors to strangers, so when kiruv Oorah's kiruvdirector discovered that it begin to reconsider. Perhaps they will log volunteers come knocking, they are fell on a Shabbos, and on the eighth of onto the website. Perhaps they'll be a lit· sometimes greeted with a suspicious Av. "I don't know what she'll do with that tle less hostile the next time. "Who are you?" and sent on their way. information, but I gave it to her," he said. In about one of ten instances, how-

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 29 ever, the family will be receptive. They may not even open the door at first, but etflrnal f irfl they'll accept the gift, converse a little and Shira LaLev perhaps ask the volunteers to come back again at a later date. Sometimes they will I often watch the men and I know there is nothing open the door, and open their ears and dance as pure hearts, and reach out for the spiritual life­ on Simchas Torah. as their heartstrings line they are being handed. In one recent case, volunteers I Jove to watch the fire entwined around the approached a young couple in Howell, when Torah, just north of Lakewood, who had the men dance, bound tightly to their recently had their first baby. The husband to see it bursting through chests. had been turned off to religious educa­ their souls, And when tl1ey sing tion as a child, but now that he was a father, he was ready to reconsider. flames leaping among "Heiliger Bashefer, When one of the kiruvvolunteers asked clenched hands Du host unz zeir leeb" him what he would be equipped to give encircling them I feel tl1e fire in my own his child as a spiritual inheritance, he As they cry out soul. knew the answer. Both he and his wife "Ashreichem Yisroef' For now, I know why, have begun learning with chavrusos. In another case, the college-aged and I feel the pride of my Though many have tried to daughter in one household became nation. smother that flame, interested in learning. She was set up with As they beg their Creator this fire will not dwindle a chavrusa, who ended up serving more "Ve'taher Libeinu" this fire will not die. as a mentor and guide than teacher. Through her, the young woman began Shira LaLev lives in Brooklyn. This is her first appearance in these pages. to find friends and a welcome in many Lakewood homes, and gradually has r.------~ taken on religious observance. It's there, in every Jewish heart - the ARE You MOVING? pintele Yid - the spark of holiness that somehow, even in the midst of the most IS YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS PRINTED secular lifestyle, still insists on being heed­ INCORRECTLY ON THE JO MAILING LABEL? ed. As long as a Jew maintains a Jewish We need your help to ensure proper delivery of the Jewish Observer to your home. identity in some form, that spark is com­ Please attach current mailing label in the space below, or print clearly your address and bustible. The urgent task of kiruv is to computer processing numbers that are printed above your name on the address label. uncover the spark wherever it can be found, and then feed it with the pure truth of Torah. It might taste strange at first, but the Jewish soul knows what's Affix old label here good. •

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e were sitting. next to each twenty fout years - just a few more than streaming past, this way and that. other on the#2 bus and start­ 1-but 24 sounded ominous. She was get­ At 43rd, I crossed Fifth Avenue and W ed talking: It emerged in con­ ting right up there into the onter edges found myself on the flowery, shady path­ versation that Batsheva worked as a tutor of lower middle age, which meant that ways alongside The New York Public at one of the baal teshuva women's sem­ I, too, should have turned into an adult Library. Where should I go? The ques­ inaries. by now, with a job, and a roommate. I tion seemed to be darkening, and Did she have time to tutor me? I asked. was still just a child, though, invisible and expanding, until it was asking something She seemed a little taken aback - after shy. An unknowing child, in spite of my else altogether. all, we were both grandmothers. But yes, high heels. Where should I go? she said, she'd be happy to. What would I took the train into Manhattan and Approaching the wide stone stairway you like to learn? called her from Grand Central Station. with its two majestic stone lions stand­ Chumash with Rashi, I answered. No answer. I dialed again. ing guard in the midday sun, one on From the ground up. Where was she? either side of the entrance, I paused. She was suggesting various ways to There in the dark old wooden phone Suddenly, some kind of atonal approach this when something occurred booth, I sat there wondering, listening Eastern music seemed to burst upon the to me: Could we just learn "Balak"? to the phone ringing in her apartment, scene; a group of dancing people in You mean, that one parsha? then tried again. What to do? The fam­ lemon-colored Indian saris materialized I nodded. In any case, it would take ily was meeting for the birthday at 8 - as ifout of nowhere, and right before me me forever, or even longer. seven hours from now. I had come in on the path - with a bony shaved skull Fine, she replied. No problem. early, hoping for some time alone with and long silky orange robes - a skinny After a few moments she said, Do you her before the party. young man appeared, spinning and mind telling me, though-I'm just curi­ Walking along through the echoing, swaying, with the round dot of a Hindu ous - why "Balak"? Any special reason? shadowy dimness of high-ceilinged painted low on his forehead, eyes ecstat­ Well .. .I began ... Grand Central toward the exits, my heels ically upturned. Two pale, skinny arms Once upon a time ... made a quick, loud clickity-click on all were circling, stretched out long, and his the cool marble floors, as if I were a real long fmgers rattled and tapped and *** person. I pushed through a dark door, drummed on a tambourine held over his emerging into the sudden muggy head. Bangles and looped necklaces of tiny t was the end of summer and the brightness of 42nd St. stones, pink and green and blue, twin­ whole world was new. In Honking, speeding taxis, and cars kling and sparkling. Tiny bells sewn all I Connecticut, the dogwood trees darting in and out of traffic. Big roar­ along his saffron hem. His sad mouth was slumbered. Daisies and dandelions nod­ ing buses. A million people hurrying emitting some moaning chant to an ded in the grass. Clouds drifted sweet­ everywhere, and gray concrete sky­ arrhythmic beat. ly across a tender blue sea. scrapers towering up into a hidden sky. J stood there, struck dumb by the My sister's birthday party was The dense, leaden air hung down sight, for even I, who had searched and tonight. She'd been on the planet for thickly over everything, trapping the city never found ... searched and searched under a dirty overturned cup of heat, and without knowing I searched, searched Mrs. Shapiro of Jerusalem is a frequent contributor the sidewalk was a rushing river of and searched without knowing what I to these pages, including "On Missing the Earthquake" (May. '04). Her most recent book humanity. I started meandering slowly was searching for. .. could spot a pitiful, is A Gift Passed Along: A Woman Looks at the World against the flow, upstream. All different lost child when J saw one, and a name­ Around Her, published by ArtScroll. colors. A thousand different worlds less terror took hold of me. I was

32 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 repU!sed, to th~cor~: Inside the Indfan o, costume, inside the shaved head and the "Come!" He started walking off, very ecstatic eyes, I knew all too well that here corner of my eye, I saw that someone fast. I stood still. He looked back over before me was an American kid in flight was waiting for the phone. The person his shoulder. "Come!" What in the from something in Kansas, or Cleveland, tapped insistently now on the door and world made me follow? He kept look­ or Chicago, a boy on his way to some­ I was about to say, "Please stop it! This ing at his watch, and glancing back at thing l didn't want to know about, pranc­ is an important call!" when I found me through the next four blocks to see ing and dancing madly on thin air. myself looking at a tiny little olive­ if I was still there. On 47th Street, he It was at that moment that a thought skinned man in a meticulous black suit darted to the right, and suddenly we went through my mind which had and a white beard and a black hat. Black were surrounded by people like him. never gone through my mind before, in aggressive eyes full of brightness and He went into a big store full of all my short life. Vividly and distinctly, darkness. Something obscurely famil­ Jews and diam.ands, everyone as if the words were uttered aloud, I iar about him. talking. I didn't like it. He scurried thought: I wish I believed in something. "Nu?" he was saying. What did that up a flight of stairs to a luncheonette, Then l turned, and went looking for mean? I'd heard it somewhere. He muttered something to the waitress. a phone booth. made some odd questioning gesture of She looked at me. He sat down. impatience. I pushed open the door. ((Sit!" *** Something about him I didn't like, and I sat. something else, that caught my atten­ A slice of pound cake was set down t 43rd and Sixth, I pulled shut tion. To my own slight surprise, I said, before me. I was on a diet. the glass door and dialed my sis­ abruptly: "You're Jewish, right?" "Tea?" he said. A ter again. No answer. My heart He gave a quick nod. Those eyes cut "Coffee." A cup of coffee appeared. sank. Then my mother, back home in me up sharply. He said: "You? A "Nu?" He asked me to tell him about Connecticnt. No answer there either. Jewish?)) myself. Strange, to be someone's focus Where was everybody? I smiled, yes, as if I were doing him like that. My sister's number again. Then my a favor. He pointed to the cake. "Eat, eat." father's office. His secretary said he was "What you doing?;' ccNo, thank you." in a meeting and to call back in an There was no answer to that one. "You like it. It's good:' He gave me hour. "Ach! Come! You have something to a quizzical look like a knife, with eyes The sun was glaring at me through the eat!" from some ancient place where I glass. I tried my sister again and yippee! I shriveled inwardly with distaste. knew I'd never been. For some reason,

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 33 I filled with shame. He asked about my scrawled awkwardness that made it *** family. obvious the English alphabet was not "You have to honor your parents." his own, a list of some sort of sentences, few years later, my first week Honor my parents? What an old­ in carefully executed capital letters. The n Israel, a rabbi at the table fashioned expression. first one went as follows: poke about the parsha. There I looked all around at the people in "BARUCH ATAH HASHEM ELO­ was a donkey, he said, whose eyes the restaurant. I'd never seen Jews like KENU MELECH HAOLAM, BOREi were opened by G-d. She saw an these before. The women wore long MINE! MIZENOT." angel and couldn't speak at first. sleeves and long dresses. It was He explained that these were bless­ I felt at home in Jerusalem, so I strange. It bothered me. ings in Hebrew to be made over all stayed, and married, and G-d gave me He tipped his head towards the two food, and told me what kind of food children, and grandchildren. But girls sitting at the counter to our left each one was for. from that first Shabbos on, through and said, "They are Orthodox.'' He He told me how to light two can­ all the unceasing changes that were asked some more questions, then took dles every Friday night for Shabbat. I'd to come, one of the things that out a pen. On the back of the restau­ always liked candles. I was surprised endured for me was "Balak.'' It drew rant bill, he started writing something. we Jews did something so aesthetical­ me inexplicably, and spoke for me. He was leaning over the table, ly appealing. What was Shabbat? He It was the parsha I always loved most scrunched up in intense concentration, said that's how Jews celebrate the cre­ and looked forward to, increasing­ mouthing something to himself, eras­ ation of the world every week. What ly, year by year. ing, rewriting. Ten minutes or so a beautiful idea - I'd never heard such One day a quarter-century after later, he handed me the paper, on which a thing. He told me I should contin­ my aliya, a friend showed me a pro­ he had written, with the childlike, ue living with my parents, and to work gram on her computer that com­ for my father in his office. puted Gregorian and Hebrew dates. He wrote down his name. I saw that I wanted to know the parsha of my CHEVRA OSEH CHESED he was a rabbi. "Call me if you need bas mitzvah. I typed in my birth date, OF AGUDATH ISRAEL help!" pressed a few keys, and ... He motioned to the waitress and in ''Don't tell me ... " said Batsheva. BURIAL PLOTS another language - Hebrew, I gathered "Yes." IN ERETI YISROEL - ordered something else. She "Hmm. You know, there's one par­ returned with what I would learn later sha I was always drawn to, too. Intennent in aShomer Shabbos Beis was poppy-seed cake. Vayeira. I wonder .... It's the one I've Diam nl.!iir Beis Shemesh "l)on't be scared;' he said. "Say this:' always especially liked teaching. Please J>ho'!/' ~r u!rite to: He pointed to the first line. I read it Maybe I'll ask my husband to Chevra Oseh'Chesed Iii ~th Israel out loud, and was about to say some­ check." 42 Broadwa\.,,N~w!~11!. NY 10004 thing when he pressed a finger to his The phone was ringing when I got (212) 7,§7-9000 lips. "Ssshhhh! Eat!" home. It was Batsheva, saying, "You're It was good. not going to believe this." • Not just a cheese, a tradition... · Haolam, the most trusted name in Cholov Yisroel Kosher Cheese. A reputation earned through 25 years of scrupulous devotion to quality and kashruth. With 12 delicious varieties. Haolam, a tradition you'll enjoy keeping.

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The Ponevezher Rav's Laughter Jewish religion was to provide kosher Torah over the fence onto the ground. food, after a fashion, for their elderly par­ The terrible event became known, and ibbutz Ein Harod was once the ents, who joined them after the estab­ the old yishuv demonstrated against the symbol of the rejection of religion lishment of the kibbutz, and a small beis chillul Hashem that had taken place. At Kin Israel. Despite the fact that knesses. The latter, however, did not have one of the demonstrations, the most of the founding members of the a sefer Torah. Ponevezher Rav gave a speech in which kibbutz came from rabbinic families - In the early'40s, an event took place he adopted the role of Rabbi Akiva 1 in or perhaps because of it - the youthful on Ein Harod that caused an uproar the famous Gemora at the end of pioneers were determined to wipe out among the religious population of Eretz Makkos (24b). every vestige of religion from their lives. Yisrael. One of the old-timers did not In the same vein, the Ponevezher Rav They called their weekly day off realize that the failure to provide a sefer told his listeners: "You are crying, but I'm "Shabbat" whenever it fell during the Torah was not a mere oversight, but davka laughing. The members of Ein Harod week. A new Haggada, celebrating man's (intentional). He traveled to nearby Afula have shown a deep understanding of the freedom from capitalism in the spirit of and asked the local rav for a sefer Torah power of a sefer Torah. They know that communism (the kibbutz split in the'SOs for the beis knesses. The latter gladly pro­ even having the sefer Torah in the kib­ over the desire of half the members to vided him with one. The old man butz for one night could effect a revo­ officially ally with Stalin's Russian), returned to the kibbutz clutching the pre­ lution in their lives, and so they threw was written for the Seder, at which bread cious sefer Torah. But when the young it out. If they have such a deep under­ was eaten together with a few pieces of people realized what he was holding, they standing of the power of a sefer Torah, matzah. seized it from him and threw the sefer I know that one day there will be a beis The members' only concession to medrash in Ein Harod." 1His companio~;~;ied often when they saw a fox Every cheder yingele in Eretz Yisroel Rabbi Rosenblum, who lives in Jerusalem, is a enter the grounds of the destroyed Beis could quote the Ponevezher Rav's slo­ contributing editor to The Jewish Observer. He Hamikdash, but Rabbi Akiva laughed, for he saw gan: "Write tefillin and mezuzos for the is also director of the Israeli division of Am Echad, in the event a fulfillment of a prophecy. This, he the Agudath Israel-inspired educational outreach said will surely be followed by the fulfillment of children of Ein Harod; we will yet have effort and media resource. prophecies of rebuilding. to build chadorim and yeshivas for the

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 35 children of Nahalal [another irreligious generation on the kibbutz. His mother which the group was able to obtain kibbutz near Ein Harod]." is the manager of one of the kibbutz's another sefer Torah, she was so Twenty-five years later, as the largest factories, and his brother-in-law impressed that she agreed to leave on the Ponevezher Rav lay near death, he (who himself is shomer Shabbosand lays air conditioner for the entire Shabbos. received an invitation to Ein Harod for tefillin every day) is in charge of the Perhaps only a veteran Israeli can fully a channukas habayis for a beis knesses in organic food division, another of the Ein appreciate the significance of what took Ein Harod. His eyes shone with joy and Harod's major money-makers. The place that Shabbos in Ein Harod. Mrs. he said, "True, a beit is not yet a kalla too was raised on one of the first Ayala Rottenberg first came to Bretz yeshiva. We have not merited that, but kibbutzim. Yisroel as a madricha (counselor) for the something has begun to move there." In honor of the joyous occasion, the Yaldei Teheran during World War II. Last Today, however, the study of Torah has Brand family invited Rabbi ben-Porat week, four of her children were in Israel already become a regular event in Ein together with his entire yeshiva, includ­ for a family simcha, and they were to Harod. For the last seven years a weekly ing families of avreichim - over eighty spend Shabbos together. Yet, when Mrs. Gemora class has taken place on the kib­ people altogether. To provide accom­ Rottenberg heard about the sheva bera­ butz. The ravwho teaches the shiuris him­ modations for such a large influx of vis­ chos in Ein Harod, she asked her visit­ self a third generation product of the itors, the kibbutz cleared three of its largest ing children for permission to attend kibbutz, whose grandfather was one of Ein buildings and made all the arrangements rather than join them. Harod's founding members and the first necessary to host eighty cbareidim. She remembered well the confidence Minister of Agriculture in the State of Israel. Only two obstacles marred the visi­ of the 7.ionists in the early '40s, their tors' reception. There was no Shabbos absolute assurance that the future Return of Sefer Torah clock for the air conditioner in the beis belonged to them, and the arrogance with knesses and the older woman in charge which they had done everything possi­ n a recent Shabbos, a sheva of the beit knessetinsisted that the air con­ ble to remove her charges and other berachos took place at Ein ditioner (a virtual necessity in the Polish-Jewish refugee children from 0 Harod. The chassan, Gil Brand, oppressive heat of the Jezreel Valley) their parents' religious observance. has been learning for over three years at could only be used if she turned it off The confidence of the kibbutzniks in Yeshiva Ashrei Haish led by Rav Yosef during the hours it was not in use. In their future has gone the way of their one ben-Porat in the Bayit Vegan neighbor­ addition, none of the sifrei Torah turned time belief in Stalin. In the end, only hood of)erusalem. Gil is already the third out to be kosher. In the end, however, seven of the thirty kibbutz members the two problems cancelled one anoth­ invited to the sheva berachos joined the KARKA IN ERETZ YISROEL er out. With only an hour left until festivities. The others, Mrs. Rottenberg Call Rabbi Gavriel Beer for information Shabbos, a call was made to Afula, and surmised, were too afraid to come, afraid on obtaining cemetery plots in Beth arrangements were made to borrow a that they too might become ba'alei teshu­ Shemesh and other locations in Israel. kosher sefer Torah. When the woman in va. She could not help but be amazed at 0 I 1-972-2-656-9427 charge of the shul saw the alacrity with the contrast between the self-confidence of the kibbutzniks of sixty years ago and the dying movement of today. You can! Just call As of yet, there is no full-time beis ''I wish I could The Yi1:1:i Leibel midrash in Ein Harod, although a build­ Helpline. ing formerly owned by the kibbutz in HOURS: Afula !lit now houses a Talmud Torah Monday-Friday ...... Sam -12pm with over 200 students. Gil Brand, speak to a Monday-Thursday...... Spm -1 lpm Sunday ...... 9am -l 2pm, 9pm -1 l pm however, was not the first ba'al teshuva from Ein Harod, and we can be sure he frum therapist It 11s<;¥s~~f-;~pw will not be the last. On Shabbos, the yeshiva student' spent Chkago ...•...•....•...•... (800) HELP-023 almost all their time learning in the beis Lakewood ...... (732) 363-1010 knesses while the women and children on the phone Cleveland ...... ( 888) 209-8079 Baltimore ...... (410) 578-1111 toured the grounds. Rabbi ben-Porat told Detroit ...... (877) 435-7611 them that with their Torah learning, they without giving San Diego ...... (866) 385-0348 were removing the seven klippos of Toronto ...... (416) 784-1271 tuma (impurity) still to be found in Ein The Rebbetzin Phyllis Weinberg Branch of the Yitti Leibel Helpline '1"1' o :t'i11;io•11 i11J ::ri-;101!' .., n::i K'Pn ;i·in ni::n:n •i7r7 Harod, and preparing the way for the full {;T'.rrJ: "l''l': !<'' '1"'.L"'!lJI my name.'' ;"Tl! l1t{1:l 11"T :11!'):) '< p

36 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 Focus ON TEFILLA Rabbi Yaakov Salomon

23K. It's a window seat. , ,to stand, and (for men) It's my seat Flight 012; ElAI. donning tallis and tefillin The local time must be while crouched under an around 7 or 8 or 9 a.m. and, overhead bin are all com- acrording to the map on my plications and potential screen, we are sotnewhere impedin1ents to a mean­ between Halifax and ingful and dynamic prayer Lisbon, I guess. It doesn't experience. And depending really matter. n who your seat n1ate 1 have just completed happens to be, you may davening Shacharis (my .have a little explaining to morning prayers). do when you're done. Nothing unusual about But, like nearly every­ that. It's something I've ing in life, even these done every day for the uds of hardships in past ... er. .. many years. Of ifilla contain silver linings. course, I'm usually 38,000 As I return my to feet closer to the ground . the seat-pocket in front of and in a shul when 1 daven, but Third, I enjoy the shul.Men are rect­ ine,heflect on the tefillos, just completed. are very much the same. ed to daven with a , a quorum of And to my utter surprise, I am left with ! like tefilla, and I'll tell you why. ten, whenever possible, and I take pleas­ a good feeling. Despite the aforemen­ First of all, there's something special ure in the camaraderie and unity that the tioned inconveniences, a strange - about speaking to Hashem. It's a chance setting provides. My occasional visit to almost elevated - mood has wafted over to check in with my Manufacturer and the amud (pulpit) to lead the service is me. get a sense of what, if any, repairs are nec­ a little bonus. "Where did it come from?" I wonder. essary. Maybe all I need is to review the I wish it weren't so, but frankly, tefilla Well, to begin with, Plane Prayer (PP) operator's manual and see if I am faith­ is not always invigorating. It can become has two huge advantages over Shul ful to the instructions. Periodically, a stale and hackneyed - bereft of mean­ Prayer (SP) -you can't come late and you major tune-up is indicated. So it's good ing or purpose. In fact, it often does. can't leave early. How often are we seen to stop in and open the hood. Keeping one's davening fresh and evoca­ huffing and puffing, even when daven­ Second, life today, as you know, is incred- tive, given the sheer frequency of this most ingat home, trying to catch the runaway ibly hectic. I explain holy pursuit, is a constant challenge faced Shacharis train or ducking out early to why. And time is a by every man, woman, and child. There catch the runaway commuter train. preset regi- men that allows are no easy solutions. With no fixed starting time and certainly for needed breaks from nowhere to go when you're finished, PP whatever it is we are engaged The Sky-High Advantage affords you the rare opportunity to actu­ in. What a statement it is ally daven at any pace you like. lt goes when we choose to ut davening on a 747, of course, without saying that SP, with its power of begin and end our daily presents a whole array of differ­ a tzibbur (congregation), has other clear­ activities with a service of the Bent challenges. Remembering to cut advantages. heart and also find time put your Siddur in your carry-on, An added bonus to this most unusu­ smack in the middle of choosing the appropriate time and al experience (PP) is that you are not our day to do the same. space to daven, when, whether, and how forced to "keep up" with the rest of the

----·· -----·----·-- Yaakov Salomon, CSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice in Brooklyn. He is a frequent contributor to these pages, most recently with "The Mystery Of 1964" (Jun. '04). This arti­ cle originally appeared on aish.com. congregants or the shaliach tzibbur. If you spreads out the earth upon the waterS'. Had Even before the blessings, I usually want to spend more time on a particu­ I ever stopped to contemplate an appre­ endow a full 25 seconds or so of SP to lar section, such as Sh'ma or the Amida, ciation for Hashem's having formed a the holy song, "Adon Olam:' This short you are free to do so. hard crust over the planet's interior - masterpiece, written over 900 years ago, And so I did. made up of water, gasses, and molten met­ succinctly proclaims Hashem's attributes I began by focusing some extra few als? Ordinarily, my eyes are still sealed shut of being timeless, infinite, and omnipo­ moments on the oft attention-starved fif­ and my lips are on cruise control until tent. 1 teen blessings that open Shacharis • Our 20 - 30% of the davening has passed. Today, however, during PP, I noticed Sages teach that as one experiences the Who doesn't take walking on a firm that the author also included in the same phenomena of the new day, he should surface for granted? And who could have song, the description, "He is my G-d, my bless G-d for providing them. predicted that my gratitude for this new­ living Redeemer .... He is my Banner ...." One example occurred when I came found pleasure would multiply just 32 I dosed my eyes for just a moment and to blessing #9 - Blessed are You, Hashem, hours later) when I "survived" a 2 second marinated in the glow that an our G-d, King of the universe, Who earthquake in Jerusalem (really) ??? ' Omnipotent Creator is also MY G-d, MY Redeemer, and MY Banner. I loved the feeling of having a real and Personal G­ d; not easily discerned when driving I 00 miles per hour during home or SP3•

Letting the Engine Idle

ater, I let the engine idle while trav­ eling through the Baruch She'amar Lprayer. Commentators record an ancient tradition that this tefilla was tran­ scribed by the Anshei Knesses Hagedola, Men of the Great Assembly, 2400 years ago from a script that actually fell from "Culture, Community, Identity: Heaven! The Role of Outside Forces On Our Identity as Jews" And yet ... usually ... unfortunately .. .it hardly rates a reflection of any substance or even a second glance, I dare say. Today, however, I chanced upon the phrase there­ PRECDNFERENCE: in that extols Hashem, "Who constantly Peggy Papp, MSW, "Family Therapy with 4 Adolescents and Couples." creates." Today, it gave me pause. Creation was not limited to a one time Yael Danieli, Ph.D, "Children of Holocaust Big Bang-like happening. No. Hashem December 30, Survivors-· 50 Years Later." didn't just finish His project and go on to January 02, KEYNOTE SPEAKERS vacation. Creation is ongoing ... cur­ David Brent, M.D. Internationally rent. .. never-ending. And so is Hashem's distinguished expert in suicide research and direction, guidance, and love. Something the treatment of adolescent depression to remember. December 29 - 30 Jerry Cott, Ph.D. Renowned ·researcher and Now basking in the luxury of unhur­ writer on the clinical use of botanical extracts and ried PP, I took a moment to conscious­ Marriott Hunt Valley Inn nutritional supplements in the prevention and ly peer out my window. Usually, during Baltimore, treatment of psychiatric disorders. home or SP, this activity is keenly dis­ Ed Leventhal, M.D, The challenges of male couraged during davening', probably intimacy issues. because the outside scenery on land Harav Dovid Cohen • Rabbi Moshe would likely serve only as a distraction, Heinemann - Rabbi Dr. Avraham Twerski • not an enhancement of the prayer. Rabbi Dr. Tzvi Hirsch Weinreb But today I wasn't drifting off; on the Contact Nefesh contrary. I was saying the verses: at 201 530 0010 in order to receive brochure and application !tis You alone, Hashem, Yoo have made or visit the Nefesh website at www.nefesh.org the heaven, the most exalted heaven, and all their legions, the earth and everything

38 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 Excitedly, I gazed out onto the hori­ some of them bonafide, indisputable lar - it expresses awe, fear, reverence. zon. The Navi (prophet) was right. prophets - fashioned our most devout Second person terminology-Atta (You) Having never flown in an airplane, he prayers in terminology that tells us to con­ - is a more casual and direct pronoun, depicted, nonetheless, the magnificence verse with Hashem, freely, directly, com­ perhaps portraying love. The swaying, or of the celestial bodies, the expanse of the fortably, almost. .. informally. It is shockeling, during tefilla is an external universe, the splendor of Creation. I communication without hindrance, manifestation of both properties - we breathed deeply. I marveled at the com­ impediment, or veneer. Incredible. bend forward (expressing love), and then, manding sunlight bouncing off the Now inspired by the comforting realizing Who He is, we draw away 6 plane's fuselage, I winced at the robust thought that we are encouraged to see (demonstrating fear or awe ) . wind currents that shook our craft, and Hashem as a Being we can easily relate I gently pressed the button to recline I felt ... oh ... so small. Literally and figu­ to, I was reminded of a startling insight 23K. I turned to the window once ratively, my tefillos were carrying me to I once heard. One of the great myster­ more. A momentary splash of turbulence new heights. ies of religious observance is the man­ stirred the weary travelers. For just a sec­ I'm not sure if davening seven miles ner in which so many Jews sway back and ond, everyone was shockeling- perhaps higher than sea level really means that the forth during prayer. We call it shockeling. more in fear than in love. I smiled. supplicant is actually closer to Hashem or Tourists at the Kosel (Western Wall), I gazed out at the foreign terrain and not, but somehow I felt closer. as well as less conversant observers of alien bodies of water. Again, I felt small, Unperturbed by fellow congregants tefilla in all locales, are often perplexed but a good kind of small. Tefilla can do (who may occasionally daven too loud, or even put-offby the seemingly strange that. Tefilla should do that. PP was not out of sequence, or off key), crying babies, calisthenics or fanatical antics of over­ something that I had looked forward to. or telephones, unaffected by the bound­ enthusiastic Jews in prayer mode. But All I had anticipated was how incon­ aries of time, and impervious to all the Rabbi 7""lll offered a sim­ venient and different it was going to be. usual distractions, I sat in my cabin of ple yet penetrating insight. Well...it was different. tranquility - just me, Hashem, and my There are two primary vehicles for In a few hours, we would land in Eretz prayer book. It was very special. Divine service - ahava and yira- love and Yismel. Soon thereafter, I'll be davening awe. Both are necessary components of again. I have a feeling it will be different, Uttered, But Seldom Really Said a comprehensive and satisfying rela­ too. All my newly-gained insights, now tionship with Him. Love and awe can per­ augmented by the sacred setting, he illuminated seat belt sign in haps be depicted by the manner in which enhanced by the Homeland, stirred by front of me meant the Amida we address Him. When we use the third the company of a minyan of like-mind­ Twould be rendered a virtual oxy­ person - He, Him, His, in the vernacu- ed Jews. Of course, it will be different.• moron (I said it in my seat), but noth­ ing could disturb this voyage of virtue. 1 Anshei Knesses Hagedola (the Men of the Great - conveying a personal relationship. 4 I just took my sweet time, reflecting on Assembly) formulated our present-day specific text "Baruch oseh Bereishis -Blessed is He Who con­ nearly every word; words that I had of teftlla- at the beginning of 2nd Beis Hamikdash stantly creates" ... oseh in the present tense. 5 uttered tens of thousands of times, but Temple era. It consisted of 120 elders, among whom See Drach Chaim 90:4, 95:2 and Mishna Berura there. never really said - or understood prop­ were many prophets. 2 "Roka haaretz al hamayi1ri' 6 Rabbi Schwab, in his seferon teftlla, points out that erly. 3 Adon Ola1n begins by recounting the unfathomable there are 21 verses in Ashrei - in 11 we address And then I made a remarkable dis­ eternity and omnipotence of Hashe1n; but, as men­ Hashem in the second person, and 10 are in the third covery. The word that is said more than tioned, also includes "V'Hu Keili- He is my G-d" person ... expressing ahava and yira. any other, in the entire Shemoneh Esrei, is not Baruch, Blessed, or Shalom, Peace, or Melech, King or even Hashem. It is the word, "Atta" - You: 33 times we refer to Hashem as "You." We speak to Hashem. And we speak with great awe and rev­ erence. And often, in the third person. But more often, we speak to Hashem directly. We speak in the second person. We say,« You!" Kings, queens, great rabbis, states1nen, even parents are often referred to in the third person. It is a sign of ultimate respect. But the composers of our holy tefillos, the Anshei Knesses Hagedola -

------··-·------·------···---""''------The Jewish Observer, October 2004 39 She'amar, Tl:W "T1"T ,.,,,,,~,should be said C'll'Ddoes not indicate that there is a pause together with the previous words 1w7~ after th is word. l'"T:u>l l'"T'1m and not with the words that 3. His suggestion for pausing after follow ... ll'j71'>N'nl';>'ml. He cites the Eitz nv 7~~"' in "Modim" so that ip:it ~iv Yosef as his source, and challenges pub­ o>in~1 refer back to "(; n-nl is quite plau­ lishers who have it differently to produce sible, but he should not suggest that to a source of their own. This can be chal­ do otherwise is wrong. Eitz Yosefhim­ lenged. Firstly, the plain meaning of this self says otherwise. phrase is that the words Tl~V "T1"T '"""1~1 The same applies to 7mn -pr.in 7;m belong to the clause that follows them. y;N:Jl "'1"l;mt. Ovadya Hertzberg's two articles - 0'1:>1"~ Eitz Yosef subscribes We are saying that we are about to praise to the "wrong" meaning. "Working at Tefilla" (Feb. '04), Hakadosh Baruch Hu with the songs that The Vav hachibur of the phrase which focused on the appropriate David Hamelech composed in Tehilliim, ;m:br.i-p71"'1 adjoins it with ... W!j?TM':>"r.ui> attitude one should have toward which is what P'sukei D'zimra is com­ so that the words ... TOO"J':l11onn:::i. refer tefilla, and its potential for foster­ prised of. This plain meaning does not to the complete list mentioned above i.e. ing a deep relationship with the need a source. It's Mr. Hertzberg's novel l"m>t ... 1""!P11'17"Tll1'. .. (and according to Creator, and "Tefilla - Worthy of our interpretation that needs one and is NOT Sefard n>lj711~ nr.w1). Effort ... As Ever" (Apr. '04), which provided by citing Eitz Yosef, who clear­ 4. Pausing before l"m>1 would imply dealt with some crucial technical ly subscribes to the simple meaning, and that ... 'j'l:J"'M::l refers to -r7r.J'1 alone, which aspects of proper tefi//a - inspired not as Mr. Hertzberg suggests ow ]"l). is wrong. It may be more in place, then, a number of letters, both apprecia­ Secondly, the mere fact that the style to also pause after i'l'T11:J7?:J 1'71:J'l tive and challenging. We are pre­ of the nusach changes from third-per­ (although Mishna Berura does not son mode (1'"T~V1 l'"T'tm) to second-per­ mention this). senting a selection of the letters with son mode (T1:u>m>i>w.n) proves that this (An example that should have been the author's response. phrase (Tl:W "ll"T '1'V~l) belongs to the mentioned is that the passage at the end clause that follows it, which is also in sec­ Of i'IJ1?:JN'l n?:JN - OF AFFIRMATION AND CHALLENGES ond-person mode (1l'pt'>N ·;11'imi). "c'7!::> 110N'l i01 nnow:i m'tW uv "P" 2. O'"T'"TN o>r.i~ mmv~ 1rn - While is often mis-phrased. The proper way this To the Editor: Mishna Berura does recommend phras­ should be said is While the points made by Ovadia ing it as he suggests, to say it the other c7o noN1 - i'l:::i.i nnow:::i. n1tw uv 1' Hertzberg in his article on Tefilla (April' way is by no means wrong. Mechilta on and not 04)are well taken, I would question some the pasuk, Rashbam, Ibn Ezra ibid and C7J:> l1r.lN'l i01 i'IM?:JW::l - i11''V lJ)) "fl of the examples he gives of phrases from Rashi to Shaftim 5,25 all say that O'"T'"!N (Another example Mr. Hertzberg tefillas that are said incorrectly (page 35). modifies =~. See also Siddur Avadas omitted is '?:Jli' 1!ll'?:J '1l'JT1i'I. The proper 1. Mr. Hertzberg posits that in Baruch Yisroel who explains that the NT1!l'1' under way to say these words is -

and not 'l:Jli' 1!Jl'?:J - '1))JT1i'I. FROM- YOUR CAR IN ISRAEl See Yeshaya 52,2.) *US$ Once again, Mr. Hertzberg's message S

40 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 needed. Yeyasher kochachem. should say the word '1rllW with a Kametz CALL FOR MORE FORMAL The first article, "Working at Tefilla;' under tbe Alef and not a SegoL Such an INSTRUCTION IN TEFIUA was really excellent in content and man­ opinion exists, but reading it with a Segol ner of presentation. The second artic)e, is likewise accepted by leading authorities. To the Editor: in the April issue, although much more The Chida in Birkei Yosef(l27:2) says that I should be poring over a tefilla sefer technical, also brought out many impor­ one should say it with a Sego~ and that it memorizing the teitch of tefillos - as the tant points. is the prevalent custom. His words are also excellent and powerful article by Rabbi 0. May I just take issue with some of the quoted in KafHachaim (127:7).Also,many Hertzberg inspired, rather enjoined, me phrases that the author takes for grant­ of the early Siddurim print it with a Segal. to do-instead of spending my time writ­ ed to be said as he split them up (seem­ One example is the Rav Hertz Siddur (cir. ing a letter. But there lies the problem. At ingly from just one or two authoritative 1560 ). For a further treatment of this opin­ my age (young middle-aged) I find it very sources), when in fact some of the phras­ ion, see""'" rn7 "l!lD (page 459). difficult to retain for the long term the ing that he declared incorrect are indeed Another point mentioned concerned meanings of uncommon words. Case in the proper way to say them according to words that have a not-so-noticeable silent point Although I tried to commit to mem­ earlier sources. Alef, such as OW1j7 where the Reish has a ory the word meanings mentioned in the Many words and phrases of tefilla have Chirikand the Alefis silent. We encounter article as I read them, by the next morn­ more than one explanation. One should a number of sucb words in our daily dav­ ing's Shacharis I had already forgotten what not reject a peirush he does not subscribe ening. Tbe following is a partial list: us'mager means. Likewise with vehach­ to unless he has researched the subject In Halle4 it says C'l'<1' I would like to use these pages to turn Otherwise, the article in this issue, as has a silent Alef, and the Reish is pro­ to the mosdos hachinuch for girls. (A Bais well as the one in the previous issue, nounced with a Melupam. Also, in Yaakov graduate, I will leave issues related should certainly help in making tefilla a Selichos, the name 'm>rr should be pro­ to boys' chinuch to those more qualified.) mitzva that's taken more to heart. Thank nounced witb a Chirikunderthe Yudand Dear Mechanchim and Mechanchos. You you for printing them. the Alefis silent. Likewise, in Chumash the are doing a wonderful job being RABBI MAYER BIRNBAUM word ~ ( Bamidbar I 1,4) has a silent mechanech our daughters. They are grow­ Passaic, NJ Alefand the Samech is vocalized with the ing in leaps and bounds in comprehen­ THE WRlTER SERVES AS MASHGIACN OF THE Patach. The same applies to the words sion of concepts, wealth of knowledge, YESH!VA GEDOLA OF BAYONNE, AND IS T!-JE 'l:l11rrum is written as gation of understanding the p'shatof the versions are correct and based on the sacred =· I assume this is a typographical tefilla. Period. words of the Rishonim. error. Perhaps a correction sbould be made Schools basically concentrate on Additionally, the author says that in the in the next issue. Birchas Hashacharand Shemoneh Esrei in Modim prayer (as well as in the beracha MRs.KREL a very elaborate way. I am not question­ of mu in bentching, and in ="lllr.!N), one Brooklyn, NY ing that decision. But that is not enough.

·----···---·~·------··--- The Jewish Observer, October 2004 41 Neither my daughters, some nieces, The reason I feel a letter to the editor 2) The writers are making a basic mis­ friends' daughters (the ones I polled) nor is the right forum to address this is because take. Peirush is not the same as pesak. (This I-all in different schools-have ever although I have offered some of my ideas, was emphatically confirmed by mori learned the Shabbos tefillos. Ah! Shabbos I cannot present them as tried-and-true. verabbi Rabbi Yehoshua Neuwirth, shli­ davening. How I wish the treasures of those I am hopeful that among the readership ta.) The Gemora (Menachos 53a) states that special tefillos were unlocked for me in my of The Jewish Observer, there are tl'1'"TN refers to the Mitzriyim (and does schooldays so that I could reap the ben­ mechanchim who have implemented a not use crirtNO'r.O as its example for water). efits week after week! comprehensive tefilla program that is The mefarshim Rabbi Cohen cites I have done my share bemoaning what cumulative and all-encompassing (or unquestionably do not argue with the is not. Now for the constructive sugges­ almost all). If they would share their pro­ Gemora. They are offering an alternative tion, the Attah Sechezeh ofYisro-fame: gram, to be printed in these pages, then peirush, perhaps based on the Mechilta, • I envision a separate tefilla program all the other schools and countless but, without a doubt, they are not deliv­ in which the girls are responsible to know Yiddishe kinder could benefit from their ering a pesak against the Gemora. the translations of the tefillos beginning experience and success. Perhaps these pages Furthermore, if peirush were pesak, then with Shacharis and moving onto Shabbos (and Rabbi Hertzberg's article) would serve Rashi would be in the awkward position davening. as the springboard for a tefilla revolution of offering contradictory pesakim, for Rashi •A tefilla program such as this does not in our school system. in Menachos (ibid.) writes that tl'1'"TN lend itself to lessons in the classroom, but And my granddaughters won't have to denotes the Mitzriyim! The Mishna rather should be set up as a weekly test keep looking up the translation of us'mager Berura, however, is pesak. The Chofetz system because the only way this knowl­ or oz eisom when they are middle-aged Chaim was fully aware of how the vari­ edge will be retained is by constant review. daveners. ous sources quoted by Rabbi Cohen (I hope schools will understand that stu­ NAME WITHHELD BY REQUEST explained the passuk; nevertl1eless, he ruled dents should have their Siddurim open Brooklyn, NY that one should pause after C'r.l:t. when taking these tests, and not burden 3 & 4) While there were reasons why them with the demand that they know the OVADYA HERTZBERG RESPONDS: these particular phrases were selected, in meaning of words out of context.) retrospect. perhaps it would have been bet­ •And of course, this program must be 1) This was an unfortunate error that ter to utilize examples that are more cumulative--iitretchlng from the first year was introduced after the article left my straightforward. The February and April of high school through the last. Many hands. I provided the examples of phras­ articles were written as, and meant to be schools (elementary schools, for that mat­ ing as transliterations. In converting printed as, one article. That being the case, ter) have successfully implemented a par­ them to Hebrew, JO faithfully rendered there was enormous pressure to keep it sha or yedios klolyus program in which the the breaks as specified in all but this one. to a manageable length. Not only was it students have to keep reviewing from the We're agreed, then, that the burden of necessary to omit much material that beginning. Shouldn't the translation of proof rests on publishers that have it dif­ would otherwise have been included, but tefilla be just as-if not more-important? ferently. also, many concepts which did appear in the article had to be restricted to brief dis­ cussions. Although there are other expla­ nations for these two phrases, the article Just Ofle!fMr at .. pointed out the most straightforward meaning (a goal for which Rabbi Cohen argued so passionately in his first point!) ~; PTnn "PP' nt.l 'iD'DO for each of them, and the Mishna Berura (98,(1)) supports this approach. At any t~ THE NEW BAIS YMKOV SEMINARY rate, the section on phrasing was not aimed at people who are familiar with the var­ ... opens tlie r/Por to a f!letime efpossf/ji/lties! ious peirushim on the tefillos and choose to daven according to a specific interpre­ Our students have been accepted Adelphi U. has established academic scholarships in tation; rather, it was directed at those who ta the finest graduate schools! addition to Financial Aid mindlessly mouth the words without any M: Speech Pathology ><:PT /OT PELL,. TAP, ETC. idea of what they're saying. M Education M: Social Work SEMINARY SCHOLARSHIPS And, as evidenced by the mefarshim IM Special Education M: Business IAVAILABLE mentioned by Rabbi Cohen in his first point, it is an acceptable practice to pro­ REBBETZIN SORA F. BULKA, n7MJO RABBI YESHAYA LEVY, 7nlo pt:> MRS. GITTIE NEUFELD, ASST. PRINCIPAL vide a particular explanation without mak­ 2600 OCEAN AVENUE, BROOKLYN, NY 11229 M: 718.769.8160 .M: FAX: 718.769.8640 ing reference to the existence of others.

42 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 Long after the articles were printed, I It was another victim of unintended exci­ I feel a great sense of hakaras hatov to was pleased to discover that I stand in exalt­ sion. the letter writers for taking the time to ed company. In Rav Schwab on Prayer, As concerns "nnm:i.. this was the one point out what they perceived as errors, Rabbi Shimon Schwab '>"on breaks up the other mistake that crept in during the for adding their own thoughts, and for opening words of Yishtabach exactly as I migration from my transliterations to their encouraging words. Yeyasher did, and comments, "We have indicated Hebrew. kochachem! the proper syntax of these words with An uncommon number of errors May each and every one of us never hyphens," without allowing for another made their way into the April article, and, talce tefilla for granted, and in the zechus interpretation. JO graciously offers a corrected copy, free of our constant effort'i to improve our dav­ 5) This is the most baffling point of all. of charge, to any reader who requests it. ening, may our tefillos reach higher and Is Rabbi Cohen suggesting that he is bet­ I strongly urge anyone who truly cares higher with every increasing sheleimus. ter qualified than the Chafetz Chaim to about tefilla (and that surely includes all OVADYA HERTZBERG determine how to group the words of JO readers) to take advantage of )O's gen­ ferusale1n Kaddish? His eloquent logic notwith­ erous offer. I would be very gratified to standing, Rabbi Cohen needs to accept that hear that JO had trouble keeping up with the Mishna Berura instructs one to pause the demand! Statement of Policy after ill'i1Vi:>. I concur wholeheartedly with the final It should also be noted that the arti­ letter writer that proper tefilla must be The Jewish Observer has devoted a great deal cle was reviewed by a gadol before pub­ taught to our children at an early age so of space to the perils of the lnternet and to lication. that they can daven the right way from the-need'for ever)ione to be extremely vig~ Rabbi Cohen suggests two additional the outset. A 4th-grade rebbi wrote to me ilant in its use. We have echoed the pleas examples that I should have provided. The to ask if I had any recommendations on of our gedofim that it should not be in use, first was indeed originally included in the how to teach these concepts effectively. unless it is an unavoidable necessity; and then article, but was inadvertently omitted. I'm While I do have some ideas, I'm not a only with all suitable safeguards. While its puzzled why Rabbi Cohen selected just and I therefore refrained from mechaneich, dangers must be recognized and con­ these two. 1'here are many, many more, offering unproven methods. Instead, I trolled to every possible degree, our including the very next phrase in "Lecha suggested that he consult with a gadoL 'This gedolim recognize that many people and Dodi": '®-~ '"Tl::P\1Y.J7. There was is a vital subject which is long overdue to never any intention, nor was it feasible, be addressed. It is my hope to write anoth­ businesses require its use, and therefore it to provide an exhaustive listing of all er article detailing a program incorpo­ has not been banned. This is why we accept instances of incorrect pausing and phras­ rating principles outlined by gedolim, but advertisements listing website addresses, but mg. in the 1neantime, ycshivos, Bais Yaakovs, in no way does this imply that the gedolim Regarding she'atta, the siddurim rebbis and moros should obtain guidance or The Jewish Observer condone casual use meduyakim, including Siddur Avodas and begin nowto teach their students real of the Internet. Yisroel and Rav Yaakov of Emden's Siddur tefilla. . Beis Yaakov, all have it with a kamatz. While it would seem plausible to adhere to the pesakofthe Chidaand the KafHachayim, GEFEN » ...... 1. the poseik hador, Rav Elyashiv, shlita, does not. Rav Elyashiv says sha'atta. FI~AO~~AL-· Rabbi Brieger points out that sha'atta Registered Mortgage BrokerS -·· also appears in two other places. He over­ NYS Dept. of Banking •

looked "T1'1N ;irn in Mincha of Shabbos. Corporate Hea11q11arters; n64 Victory Blvd .. • Staten 101and, NY 10314 Rabbi Brieger provides several exam­ Phone 718-983-9272 • 914-MORTGAGE ples of words with a silent Alef, one of 973-MORTGAGE • 212-983-1000 which is \Ni> at the beginning of the last paragraph of Birkas Hamazon. Apparently, footnote 18 in the April arti­ cle, which alerts the reader to precisely that, escaped his attention. Another example he offers is 'l:llNTI. The discussion by the For careful attention to your Minchas Shai cited in footnote 18 centers on that very word. Rabbi Brieger also pres­ individual needs, call us today! ents the example of':>N>n. This, too, was ( 845) 354-8445 submitted as part of the original article.

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 43 Focus ON TEFILLA

A Response to a Letter CORRECTION Through a technical mishap, several lines by Rabbi Shimshon Dovid Pincus J"~t were omitted from Rabbi Noach Orlowek's article, "Avoiding the Risks of Unthinking Parenting," featured in last I've read your letter. Though I do not you can turn to Him. He will be avail­ month's issue of The Jewish Observer. consider myself qualified to dispense able. Below is the entire section of the arti­ advice, I will, nevertheless, share with 1 write this, because many people asso­ cle (from pages 35-36) as it should have you my impressions of the situation you ciate this opportunity - to talk to appeared. We regret the inconvenience. are in. Hashem-with "formal" prayer and spir­ It appears to me that you are some­ itual loftiness. Though this is important, A QUICK ROUTE TO INSTILL FEAR one who has struggled mightily in your it is not what defines our relationship DYNAMICS OF AN ADDICTION endeavor to grow in Torah and yiras with Him. Shamayim. Despite all your hard work, At the very core of our relationship v Yisroel Salanter 7-llt is quoted you've reached an impasse. You are real­ with Hashem is the appreciation that He s saying that not everything that izing that you can't succeed on your own, is not Something, but Someone. To be person thinks should he say, not that you need outside help. The reason totally aware of the simple reality that everything that a person says should he for this is simple; you yearn to acquire Hashem is there, real and true. That it's write, and not everything that a person Torah knowledge, to form a passionate easy to form a personal, sincere con­ commits to writing should he publish. connection with it. Extraordinary goals, nection with Him, and to discuss with When people read about instilling fear which require extraordinary strengths. Him the most basic and mundane of in children, many will take the short route Though we may never stop trying, there your needs. That those who do so are - that is, by expressing anger through comes a point when we must look out­ never let down. Others may give you dif­ shouting and punishment. The results, side of ourselves for support. ferent suggestions, but it's a shame to in the short-term, are likely to be effec­ Therefore, I'd like to recommend a waste your time. Go directly to the only tive, especially with young children. name and address of someone that you One who can truly help you, grasp Him That is, the parent will get the desired can turn to for assistance. and do not let go. "t,,r.:rrnm'm""Allow effect: obedience. A shout, maybe a His name is" Hashem Yisborach." Him no rest" until you've attained all that "patch;' and things will be "all right:' This He is capable of everything, for He fOUr heart desires. is the seed for repeating the pattern of created everything. I also happen to know One who signs with respect for a anger, shouting, and punishment, until that He has a special love for you, and searching ben Torah, who, unfortu­ it becomes ingrained. A simple analogy, is waiting eagerly for you to approach nately, knows not where to search. I believe, will make matters clearer. Him. - Shimshon David Pincus • The attraction of drugs used to He is easily accessible, for He is every" induce a "happy" state is that they are: Eve~now,.asy'oU; · (1) fast-acting, (2) easy, and (3) have a 0 ~T ·· ".·_,. . ·:T¢X; total effect. There is no question that something that is easy, quick and total in its impact will be used again. And again. The same is true of anger and shouting- it's quick, easy and brings total compliance. It will certainly become a way of life in that household - with tragic effects. The home will not be a secure, happy place, and while the parents will be feared and (temporarily) obeyed, they will not be respected. Certainly the child will choose not to follow their path in life. While Rabbi Klestzick is correct in stating that parents need to be in con­ trol, there is a short step for people to interpret this as being controlling, and this almost always, in my experience, back­ fires. •

44 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 Reviewed by Rabbi Matis Blum

B s love for Kial Yisroel and "Reb Yisroel" theme of Rabbi Pam's drashos - the made him the "address" for Roshei requirement of every Jew to produce a IN Yeshiva, Rabbaniln, mechanchi1n, laymen kiddush Hashem wherever he or she is, and ordinary people from all walks of and the higher standards that are set for life. Anyone who needed clear advice that bnei Torah - is stressed throughout the REV came from a mind that was suffused with book. And we see how Rabbi Pam taught Torah and a heart that was overflowing by example. Rav Pam, by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman with ahavas habriyos (love of his fellow The author has succeeded in skillfully (Mesorah Publications, Brooklyn, NY n1an) knew that the one to turn to was weaving Rabbi Pam's classic sefer, Atarah $24.99, he, $19.99 pc) Rabbi Pam. Lamelech, into the fabric of the biogra­ Rabbi Shimon Finkelman ,.··p>';v - phy, deftly interspersing quotations already known in the Torah world for from the seferto illustrate how Rabbi Pam From an Oral Tradition to a Bound Volume his many wonderful and inspirational punctiliously practiced what he sefarim - in his magnificent biography, preached and what he published. He hen enu1nerating the descen­ Rav Pam, has produced a work that has quotes Rabbi Pam as saying when dants of Adam, the Torah Atarah Lamelech was published: W states: "Zeh sefer toldos My heart tells me that I will bene­ haAdam- This is the book of the descen­ fit most from this sefer. Now that I have dants of Adam" (Bereishis 5,1). These produced it, I must be ever cognizant words have been homiletically interpreted that I will be held accountable [in as meaning that each person composes Heaven] for its contents, for they will his own scferthrough the life that he leads demand of me: "This is what you said, and the impression he has made on those this is what you wrote, this is what you he leaves behind. If he did not live a pro­ published .... Nu! [Why did you not ful­ ductive life, his life-story is soon for­ fill what you yourself have taught?]" gotten. If, however, he lived a life of Torah, (Rav Pam, pages 111-112). sanctified G-d's Name through his Those who knew Rabbi Pam and actions, taught, helped and influenced those who read his biography can see others, his sefer becomes a "classic;' which clearly that his life was completely con­ continues to bear fruit long after he leaves sistent with what he taught and wrote. this physical world. Most such "books" remain in the The Years of His Life realm of"Torah she'bc'a/ peh - an oral tradition." There are, hovvever) certain he book describes Rabbi Pam's great people who merit having their biog­ early years in and raphies written down and published so TAmerica, and the many difficul­ that future generations may learn from ties that bnei Torah faced in that era. We them and be inspired by them. get a picture of the greatness in Torah One such person our generation and the love of Torah that Rabbi Pam was privileged to have in its midst was already become a best-seller throughout saw in his father, Hagaon Rabbi Meir Pam Hagaon Harav Avrohom Yaakov the olam ha Torah. This book does more 7··~r, and the sterling middos, ahavas Hakohein Pam, ., .. ~,, Rosh Yeshiva of than merely tell the life-story of our Rebbi habriyos and shemiras halashon of his Mesivta Torah Vodaath, founder of or list his accomplishments. It brings to mother, Rebbetzin Rochel Leah ;rv. We Shuvu, and the father of numerous insti­ life a gado/ who touched so many peo­ learn of the relationships that Rabbi Pam tutions of Torah and chessed, who ple from so many walks of life. It had with many gedolim: Ha'ge'onim became one of the most beloved Torah describes his relationships with Gedolei Rabbi , Rabbi Dovid leaders of our times. His simplicity, his Yisroel, with his talmidim, his neighbors, Leibowitz, Rabbi Yaakov Kamenetzky, humility, his greatness in Torah, and his and his family. Reb , Rabbi Many of the themes that Rabbi Pam Dov Ber Rivkin, Rabbi Eliyahu Moshe Rabbi Blum coinpiles and edits TOrah Lodaas, a weekly compendiun1 of co1n1ncntaries on the constantly emphasized are highlighted: Shisgal, Rabbi Gedaliah Schorr, and Rabbi Parslu1, 'vhich has been appearing regularly for honesty, integrity, shalom, harbatzas Reuvain Fine, zeicher tzaddikin1 livracha. the past nineteen years. He also lectures In var­ 'Torah, kiruv, chessed, shen1iras halashon, Rabbi Finkelman described Rabbi ious Rais Yaakov high schools in the New York accepting suffering, hakaras hatov, and Pam's approach to 1nany issues: area. His article "011a'as l)evari111: The c;reat Threat to Shalorn Bayis~" was featured in JO, respect for parents, spouses and one's Communal matters, policies regarding June 'OJ. children and students. The overriding chinuch and shalom bayis, and how to

The Jewish Observer, October 2004 45 deal with children with disabilities, fering, and illness that were his lot dur­ times. It contains a wealth of lessons and among many other topics. We read about ing his last few years, and how he ele­ stories that can be utilized by Rabbanim, the founding of Shuvu and Nechomas vated himself above all of his difficulties mechanchim and mechanchos, parents, Yisroel, and Rabbi Pam's mesiras nefesh with almost superhuman effort to serve and anyone striving for self-improve­ for these and other organizations. We see Kial Yisroel during that time. ment. Rabbi Pam was a gadol whose that it was not beneath Rav Pam's dig­ greatness in Torah and chessed few can nity to help his Rebbetzin with shopping A Book to Read and Reread hope to achieve, but whom everyone can and Shabbos preparations. And lest relate to and aspire to emulate. anyone forget that Rabbi Pam was first lthough the biography was pub­ Talmidim should constantly have and foremost a rebbi, the book is lished in soft cover as well as hard the demus deyokno (mental image) of replete with stories describing his love Acover, people would be well­ their rebbi before them, and should and self-sacrifice for his talmidim. advised to purchase the hard cover edi­ always ask themselves, "How would the The final chapters of the book relate tions, since the book is a veritable 1nussar rebbi have answered this question or dealt how Rabbi Pam accepted the pain, suf- seferthat should be read and reread many with this situation?" Rabbi Finkelman has portrayed the demus deyokno of Rabbi Pam very accurately, and through his book, Rabbi Pam will be able to influ­ Subscribe or give a gift of ence and inspire not only those who knew him, but even those who never had the privilege of meeting him in person. The Jewish Observer A few months ago, a distinguished member of the Kolle/ in Lakewood came and $ave! into a shul where the rabbi was a talmid of Rabbi Pam, and said to him, "I am mekaneh (envious of) you!" WHY NOT GlVE OR GET A PRESENT When the rabbi looked at him ques­ THAT WILL LAST AN ENTIRE YEAR? tioningly, the yungerman explained, "I just read the ArtScroll biography ofRabbi Pam, Subscribe, or give a gift at these reduced prices and I'm envious ofyou for having had the and The Jewish Observer- filled with the views zechus of knowing and being close to such of leading Torah thinkers on current issues - will a person!" be delivered each month, directly to your door. * * * About six weeks before Rabbi Pam's The longer you subscribe for, the larger your savings. petira, a talmid came to visit him in the Of course, this offer is unconditionally hospital, and brought a copy of an arti­ guaranteed; you may cancel at any time and receive cle of Rabbi Pam's that he was preparing for publication in The Jewish Observer. a refund for all undelivered copies. When he asked Rabbi Pam if he should So order today, and the vety next issue will be leave it there or if he should read it to him, on its way to you as soon as possible. Rabbi Pam insisted that he read it to him! The talmid complied and, in spite of the ------discomfort that he was in, Rabbi Pam lis­ 0 YES, l want to take advantage of this money saving offer! Enter my order as follows: tened carefully, and commented on the con­ W SELF and/or 0 GlfT"" OUr.ilDf Name ------tent of the article. When the talmid """ Address ______concluded the article, Rabbi Pam com- 0 3 years Cover Price $105 Your cost $69 $114' City __~_,. 1nented, "Well written!" 0 2 years Cover Price $70 Your cost $48 $78* State ____ Zip l am certain that the tens of thousands Q l year Cover Price $35 Your cost $25 $40* ; :.JH Semi glft card from: ___ -·-·-···--··.. - of people who have read this biography of Rabbi Pam, his Sefer Toldos Adam - ~1~~Th:i :::l Enclosed: $ or Charge my: ..J MasterCard :l VISA and who were moved and inspired by it UBSERVER - if asked to comment on it, would 42 Broadway, 14th Floor, New York, NY 10004 Account No. ___ undoubtedly say, "Very well written!" The Jewish Obse~r is published monthly except July and August. Exp. Date: (month/year) ______Please allow 4 - & weeks for delivery. May Rabbi Finkelman and the entire "Outside U.S.A. prke refle

46 The Jewish Observer, October 2004 ·e re people tise Cucumber,

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