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Exploring Reasons Why Men and Women Refrain from Sex Despite Desire UNLV Theses, Dissertations, Professional Papers, and Capstones 12-1-2012 Exploring Reasons Why Men and Women Refrain from Sex Despite Desire Alessandra Lanti University of Nevada, Las Vegas Follow this and additional works at: https://digitalscholarship.unlv.edu/thesesdissertations Part of the Gender and Sexuality Commons, and the Psychology Commons Repository Citation Lanti, Alessandra, "Exploring Reasons Why Men and Women Refrain from Sex Despite Desire" (2012). UNLV Theses, Dissertations, Professional Papers, and Capstones. 1746. http://dx.doi.org/10.34917/4332727 This Thesis is protected by copyright and/or related rights. It has been brought to you by Digital Scholarship@UNLV with permission from the rights-holder(s). You are free to use this Thesis in any way that is permitted by the copyright and related rights legislation that applies to your use. For other uses you need to obtain permission from the rights-holder(s) directly, unless additional rights are indicated by a Creative Commons license in the record and/ or on the work itself. This Thesis has been accepted for inclusion in UNLV Theses, Dissertations, Professional Papers, and Capstones by an authorized administrator of Digital Scholarship@UNLV. For more information, please contact [email protected]. EXPLORING REASONS WHY MEN AND WOMEN REFRAIN FROM SEX DESPITE DESIRE By Alessandra Lanti Bachelor of Arts in Psychology University of Nevada Las Vegas 2008 A thesis submitted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the Master of Arts in Psychology Department of Psychology College of Liberal Arts The Graduate College University of Nevada, Las Vegas December 2012 THE GRADUATE COLLEGE We recommend the thesis prepared under our supervision by Alessandra Lanti entitled Exploring Reasons Why Men and Women Refrain from Sex Despite Desire be accepted in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Master of Arts in Psychology Department of Psychology Marta Meana, Ph.D., Committee Chair Michelle G. Carro, Ph.D., Committee Member Stephen D. Benning, Ph.D., Committee Member Barbara G. Brents, Ph.D., Graduate College Representative Tom Piechota, Ph.D., Interim Vice President for Research & Dean of the Graduate College December 2012 ii ABSTRACT Exploring Reasons Why Men and Women Refrain from Sex Despite Desire By Alessandra Lanti Dr. Marta Meana, Examination Committee Chair Professor of Psychology University of Nevada, Las Vegas Sexual behavior has been found to be an unreliable referent for sexual desire. Numerous studies have found that sexual activity is motivated by a range of non-desire related factors, from the promotion of intimacy to the seeking of new experiences. Sexual desire may also be an unreliable predictor of sexual activity. There is a dearth of research, however, on the reasons why individuals choose not to have sex despite the presence of desire for a willing partner. The main aim of this study is to qualitatively investigate the reasons why people refrain from sex when they feel desire for a willing partner. A secondary aim is to investigate differences in the reasons generated depending on whether desire is defined amorphously, physiologically or subjectively. The ultimate aim for future study is the construction and validation of the Bigger Than Desire Questionnaire (BTDQ) that will serve as a quantitative investigation of these reasons. In order to truly understand the sexual desire-sexual activity relationship, it is important to understand both why people have sex without desire and why people refrain from having sex despite desire. iii ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I am deeply grateful to my advisor and committee chair, Dr. Marta Meana, for her guidance, knowledge and patience during this project and for her friendship. I also thank my esteemed committee members, Drs. Barbara Brents, Cortney Warren, Michelle Carro and Stephen Benning for their insightful contributions that significantly enriched this project. A special thank you to Dr. Stephen Benning for stepping in at the last minute. I owe a debt of gratitude to my lab members: Sarah Jones, Caroline Maykut, and Evan Fertel for their helpful feedback and warm support and especially to Taylor Oliver for sharing with me her knowledge and technical skills. My sincerest appreciation goes out to Nieves Moyano for her time, kindness, and earnest investment in this study. iv TABLE OF CONTENTS ABSTRACT.......................................................................................................................iii ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ............................................................................................... iv TABLE OF CONTENTS .................................................................................................... v LIST OF FIGURES...........................................................................................................vii CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION .............................................................................. 1 CHAPTER 2 LITERATURE REVIEW ..................................................................... 4 Attempts to Define Sexual Desire................................................................................. 4 Problematic Nature of Behavior as a Referent for Sexual Desire .............................. 12 Distinguishing Desire from Incentive Value of Sex ................................................... 24 CHAPTER 3 AIMS OF THE STUDY ..................................................................... 32 CHAPTER 4 METHOD ........................................................................................... 35 Participants....................................................................................................................35 Materials....................................................................................................................... 35 Procedure...................................................................................................................... 37 Data Analysis……. ...................................................................................................... 38 CHAPTER 5 RESULTS .......................................................................................... 40 Theme-Categories of Reasons for Not Having Sex Despite Desire ........................... 40 Responses as a Function of Question Type ................................................................ 46 Responses as a Function of Gender ............................................................................ 46 Responses as a Function of Question Type and Gender ............................................. 47 Responses as a Function of Age Group ...................................................................... 47 CHAPTER 6 DISCUSSION .................................................................................... 49 Gender Differences: Do Women Have More Reasons for Saying 'No' to Sex?..........50 Do Definitions of Desire Matter and for Whom?........................................................56 Does Age Matter?........................................................................................................57 Limitations...................................................................................................................58 Future Research...........................................................................................................60 APPENDIX 1 - Tables 1, 2, and 3....................................................................................63 Table 1 Demographic Characteristics of Participants.........................................63 Table 2 Documentation of discovery of 13 main categories..............................66 Table 3 Category endorsement as a function of question type and gender........72 APPENDIX 2 - Socio-demographic Questionnaire...........................................................74 v REFERENCES..................................................................................................................76 VITA..................................................................................................................................90 vi LIST OF FIGURES Figure 1 Step-by-Step Depiction of Theme Generation...........................................62 vii CHAPTER 1 INTRODUCTION Desire has proven to be the most elusive aspect of the sexual response cycle. It is ultimately a subjective experience that is not well-understood, either as an independent phenomenon or in its relationship to other constructs or behaviors. Unlike the other two components of the sexual response, arousal and orgasm, desire has no reliable physiological referent, especially in women, for whom genital arousal often occurs in the absence of desire (Chivers, Seto, Lalumiere, Laan, & Grimbos, 2010). Desire has thus been primarily studied via the self-report of its experience and by the observation or self-report of behavior. Self-report of either internal states or behavior is problematic, especially in the socio-culturally sensitive area of sexuality, because it is subject to the pressures of social desirability, not to mention recall difficulties and other biases. Sexual behavior is not much more reliable an indicator of desire, as research has repeatedly shown that people have sex for many reasons, only one of which is desire (Hill, 1997; Hill & Preston, 1996; Impett & Peplau, 2002, 2003; Meston & Buss, 2007). From the promotion of intimacy to the seeking of new experiences, individuals choose to have sex for emotional
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