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WE WANT to Compete with the Spears’ Publicity1,000,000 Juggernaut

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WE WANT to Compete with the Spears’ Publicity1,000,000 Juggernaut 1,000,000 ∑ 1,000,000 s THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA ONE MILLION DOLLARSs ∑ 1,000,000 D8 1,000,000 THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH | MONDAY, AUGUST 30, 2004 1,000,000 Tyler Wright COMMENTARY 1,000,000 might wish SIDE THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA THE that skating 1,000,000 s was part ONE MIL LI s Fantasy, of the ON DOL 1,000,0001,000,000 LARS FLIP decathlon. 1,000,000 reality collide in 1,000,000 1,000,000 1,000,000 s We’re THEslaves UNITED STATES OF AMERICA 41,000,000 her ONE MILLION DOLLA THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA TV auto ad s From Mays 13 to Aug. 13, we looked at the number of times nine popular celebrities were mentioned in The Dispatch and six other ONE MILLION DOLLARS papers nationwide. The results?s Britney Spears is still the undisputed queen of celebrity gossip with 439 mentions in the seven When I heard that General Motors 1,000,000 RS 1,000,000 1,000,000 had pulled its recent Corvette ad, I felt publications. That’s a 21 percent margin1,000,000 over second-place Paris Hilton, who we predict needs to release several more sex videos 1,000,000 WE WANT to compete with the Spears’ publicity1,000,000 juggernaut. the way the young driver in the ad must have felt: I was ticked. The venerable Chicago Tribune led the papers with 553 mentions of our nine celebs. The New York Daily News had 355 mentions and Why should a seven-group consumer NONE OF OUR the New York Post had 343. The Dispatch printed only 138 mentions. (Obviously, we have more important things on our minds.) advocacy team want to ban a TV ad The celebrities’ total number of mentions in the seven publications is listed above their pictures. In the chart below, the celebrity with that shows a reckless BUSINESS the most mentions for each publication is listed in red. — yet awesome — Once a week, The Flip Side takes daydream of a driv- the pulse of the community on a PRENUP ing scene choreo- 272BY MARY GREY FOR THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH 244 graphed to the question of potential interest. This 1,000,000 96 348 295 1,000,000 439 week we asked: 190 152 Rolling Stones? s THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA Apparently, If skill were no object, what ONE MILLION DOLLA s because it is ‘‘among Summer Olympic sport would you Celebrity divorce settlements gone bad, 1,000,000 5 the most dangerous like to participate in? RS 1,000,000 anti-safety messages 1,000,000 ∑ Kathy Sullivan, president of when they didn't sign a prenup to be aired on COSI Columbus: Rowing. ‘‘The JOHN national television in hum of the boat on the water is ROSS recent years,’’ the magical.’’ Nothing says "I love you" like a prenup. Hollywood marriages are known for being safety groups stated. Ridiculous. Dangerous road trips are ∑ Thad Matta, OSU men’s to the auto industry what bosomy basketball coach: Basketball. short-lived, which is why an increasing number of celebrities have turned to blondes are to beer makers: obvious ‘‘Because if I was playing at the marketing tools. Olympic level, it would mean I was prenuptial agreements for protection. But in this era of ‘‘reality’’ television, one of the better players in the maybe viewers can no longer distin- United States.’’ guish between fantasy and reality. ∑ OSU Alumni let it be The danger lies in the blurring of President and boundaries between real life and life two-time that is fabricated to mimic a reality that Heisman Married: 4 years never existed. Trophy winner Reason for Separation: Irreconcilable differences Growing up in the 1990s, I enjoyed Archie Griffin: Settlement: Estimated 1.5 billion, largest payment in watching fictional characters who met, ‘‘It would have argued and fell in love in fabricated to be basket- Colin celebrityParis history.Michael Lindsay Jennifer Olsen Jessica Britney living rooms bordered by a dark abyss ball. I’ve always Farrell Custody:Hilton JacksonBoth haveLohan filed forLopez full custodytwins over Simpson Spears of production equipment. loved the sport Griffin I knew that having an appendectomy but just didn’t have the height.’’ NewPaul York McCartney12 Beatrice,4.79 47 36 28 32 43 Heather66 Mills would not be as interesting as George Post Clooney made it seem on ER, that ∑ Tyler Wright, Blue Jackets 1 drinking daily with a mailman and a center: Decathlon. ‘‘Being in Chicago psychologist meant liver cancer and the decathlon is sort of the 27 80 63 57 101 44 53 128 Tribune that Tim Allen’s power tools were most ultimate in athletics. The continu- pocket change likely never turned on. ous days of extreme competition The New York 10 38 27 14 25 11 23 51 Pleasure on television meant escape and to be able to do that many Times from the confines of my routine — real- events and do them well would Married: 12 years ity was televised nightly at 6 and 10. definitely be the ultimate.’’ Daily News 19 63 57 33 53 28 45 57 (New York) Reason for Separation: Irreconcilable differences But now someone may need to step — Julie Bailey Settlement: 25 million, 45-room Greenville, in and redraw the map. [email protected] Newsday 15 36 21 34 39 18 38 49 Survivor, Fear Factor, Road Rules, Conn., mansion and an apartment in Trump Plaza. Extreme Makeover — the messages Custody: Ivana has full custody over 3 children plus about people surviving ‘‘real’’ and Los Angeles 6 31 48 9 24 8 25 47 extraordinary trauma are mind-bog- Times 650, 000 in child support. Donald Trump Ivana Trump gling. NEWS OF THE WEIRD The Columbus 2 Go to a tropical island with nothing 7 21 9 7 25 11 17 41 As many as 400 Cambodian Dispatch but clothes; you’ll survive. Lock yourself pilgrims a day are flocking to the in a tub of cobras; you’ll live. Undergo northern village of Phum Trapeang THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH intensive plastic surgery; you’ll be Chum to be licked by a mystical papa didn't preach rewarded with friends and fame. Travel cow that was born in a sacred the country performing stunts that commune, according to a July would humble Evel Knievel; you’ll Agence France-Presse report. Word Hello, our nameMarried: 3is years the Flip Side, and we’re a return unscathed. got out after the wife of the cow’s Reason for Separation: Irreconcilable differences So would it be comparable to expect owner said she was cured of a the same, say, when driving an $80,000 chronic illness. Other success sto- Settlement: Nick was entitled to half of Jessica's sports car through a mythical city? ries followed, and now the owner earnings. She alone earned 35 million in the last It’s no stretch to think that some teen is charging the equivalent of about with a new license and a lead foot may 13 cents for four licks. But, warned year of marriage. not know better. the owner, ‘‘The cow won’t lick peo- Jessica Simpson Custody: No children Nick Lachey A decade ago, replicating a stunt ple who won’t put in their money.’’ from a TV spot was stupid — it was 3 understood that TV fantasy had no — Chuck Shepherd Universal Press Syndicate place in real life. toxic trash Now it’s not that simple. John Ross takes few risks in his 1997 It’s that time Toyota Corolla. of year again. Married: 3 years [email protected] fame-aholicReason for Separation: Irreconcilable differencesInternet, the gossip machine has Luckily, many of our brethren in the media Settlement: Britney will be paying Kevinmore 20,000 outlets thanper ever. ‘‘It’s just like any daytime soap CLOSE TO HOME JOHN McPHERSON are more addictedmonth, to celebrities plus he gets to than keep hiswe toys. are opera,’’ Thompson explained. ‘‘There Custody: Kevin has full custody of Sean,are 2 usually and Jayde, five or 10 characters who By Elizabeth Weinstein Hilton, before her hit TV show The are really in the center of things at 1 and she will be paying 15,000 per month. THE COLUMBUSBritney DISPATCH Spears Simple Life, was most famous for, any given time.’’ Kevin Federline well, being rich4 and famous. Britney better not get too comfort- aris Hilton. Britney Spears. ‘‘In the 21st century, and actually able in the spotlight, though. J.Lo. for some time before that, to a great ‘‘These big shining stars tend to P Aren’t you tired of seeing the extent . celebrity is defined by the burn very bright, and very hot, but names in print? legallyfact that blonde you are everywhere,’’ to legally said singlethey don’t tend to burn very long,’’ They’re dropped almost every day Robert J. Thompson, director of the Thompson said. by newspapers in every regionMarried: of the Center 7 years for the Study of Popular Tele- Anyone remember Anna Nicole country, from the New York Post to vision at Syracuse University. Smith, for instance? There was a time the Los Angeles Times. Reason for‘‘There’s Separation: a certain point Irreconcilable that if a whendifferences she, and her cleavage, were YOU TELL US And, of course, The DispatchSettlement:, which celebrity Ryan reaches, is entitled they can tothen half go, forof Reese'severywhere. mentioned Spears a hefty 41 times in a little while anyway, on auto-cruise.’’ A Lexis-Nexis search of three Question: What’s the worst thing earnings. She makes 29 million per movie.
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