IS THIS YOUR LIFE ?• '}474i4 ~~? "l had a very -strange vision the other day. This is the account of a remarkable and alarm· And I have been greatly perplexed as to ing vision, received by General William Booth, whether or not I should tell it to others. founder of the Army. General Booth The chief difficulty I find concerning it is was outstandingly courageous and zealous in his life and service for his Lord and for his fellow· that it seems to lay me open to the charge men. of being too severe, in seeming to shut out There may be certain parts of this vision and of heaven a great multitude who are expect­ testimony with which you will not agree. How· ing to go there. Because I portray the gate ever, do not allow these differences to keep you narrower than the Bible is supposed to make from receiving the admonition, the warning and it. inspiration which God has for you here. Is this your life and its results which are envisioned In this it will be considered, perhaps, that here? the vision I received is at fault, and there­

i fore, somewhat misleads. But on its behalf I I may suggest that as heaven is, as the negro said, "a mighty big place," it may be only some special part of the vast Continent of , Blessedness that is referred to. In my vision I thought that so far as the , world was concerned, Agur's prayer was an­ swered in regard to me, for I had neither poverty nor riches. All my wants were sup­ plied. I had leisure, and friends, and home, and all that was necessary to make me happy. Page One Then also, I thought that I was a Chris­ seized me. I became terribly sick all of a tian. Most of my close friends professed to sudden. In fact, in just a few hours I was be the same. We visited together at each brought to the very brink of death. This was other's homes, joined in amusements, busi­ serious business, indeed. Everyone about me ness, politics and many other things. In short, was in great confusion. And those who loved we bought and sold, and married, and acted me were paralyzed with fear. as though the world we were in were going Some took action. The proper medicines to last forever. were administered. There were consultations In this vision I was one who was active among several physicians. And the members in religious activities. In fact, I considered of my family hurried to my side from far myself to be quite a shining light. I always and near. Friends and acquaintances came. attended church on Sunday. And I taught I was given the best medical care possible in the Sunday School. Now and then, though -but all proved in vain. not very often, I visited the sick. And in I could feel that the medicines weren't addition to these good deeds I gave a little helping. And yet I didn't feel anything very money to support Christian work. much. I don't know whether this was be­ In all this I was quite sincere. I had no cause of the suddenness of the sickness or idea of playing the hypocrite. It's true that the deadening character of the narcotics I didn't stop to consider what which the physicians gave me. But strangely really was, although I talked freely enough enough I seemed to be the least disturbed about it at times, and pitied people who person in the place. didn't profess to be Christians. I felt as though I were in a dream. I knew I seldom, if ever, considered what I was ilI--dangerously ill-because a relative Christ required. Nor was I very concerned had insisted on my being informed of my about the lost, although I heard these mat­ real condition. And yet I was not disturbed ters occasionally discussed in my presence. about the fact. I thought I would recover. I had gotten into a, definite rut in thought Most people do, I suppose, until the hand and action and profession. And I went on of death is actually upon them. from day to day, hoping that everything And if I did not recover, I had no reason would tum out all right in the end. to be terribly concerned, because, wasn't I But in my vision I thought that without a Christian? Hadn't I been converted? Didn't any apparent warning a dangerous fever I believe the Bible? Why should I fear? Page Tu'o Page Three And wasn't I continually hearing hymns ways been a favorite of mine: being sung and prayers offered that 1 might . 4;1 am a poor sinner, just nothing at all, be restored to health, and if not, that I But Jesus Christ is my all in alL" might pass away without suffering, and have It was with this sentence on my lips-a a good time of it in heaven? sentence taken up and reproduced at my But even so, disquieting thoughts did funeral service-that a cold numbness seemed cross my mind-because 1 couldn't keep out to come creeping over me, and a great diffi­ questions that kept arising as to whether I culty of breathing seized me. My friends had truly followed Jesus Christ and had done were alarmed. I read it in their faces. Some my duty to a perishing world with my time prayed, while {lthers wept. And my dear and influence, and money and family. And ones moistened my lips and kissed my brow. questions would come and go that were very Meanwhile a strange faintness seized me. difficult indeed to answer. Yet it was all in I lost consciousness. My next sensation was a dreamy way. How could it be otherwise, altogether beyond description. It was the with the burning fever lapping up the vital thrill of a new and celestial existence. I was current, and my brain all benumbed, and in heaven. my energies laid prostrate. After the first feeling of surprise had So when I complained that I didn't have somewhat subsided, I looked around me, and much joy or assurance, I quite naturally took in the situation. It was way beyond any­ agreed readily to the suggestion that my thing of earth-positively delightful. And condition prevented this. And I felt, more­ yet some of the more beautiful scenes and over, that if I were not "ready" 1 had neJther sounds and feelings of the world I had just the time nor energy to begin so serious a left appeared to be repeated in my new expe­ business over again as the salvation of my rience in enchanting fashion. Still no human soul. Besides, how could I confess that I had eyes ever beheld such perfection, such been mistaken all these years, and that my beauty. No earthly ear ever heard such music. life had been a failure? No! It was too late, No human heart ever experienced such and I was too ill for any such confession. ecstasy, as it was my privilege to see, hear, One thing I could do, and that I did. I and feel in the celestial country. cast myself, with what force of soul I had Above me was the loveliest of blue skies. left, on the mercy of my Savior. And again Around me was an atmosphere so balmy and again I repeated a verse which had al- that it made my whole physical frame vibrate Page Four Page Five with pleasure. Flowing by the bank of roses And then suddenly, a new set of feelings on which I found myself reclining was the began to creep over me. Strange as it may clearest and purest water of a river that seem, I felt somewhat lonely and a little seemed to dance with delight to its own sad, even in the midst of this infinite state murmurings. The trees that grew upon the of bliss. Because up to this moment I was banks were covered with the greenest foliage, alone. Not one of the bright beings who and laden with most delicious fruit--sweet were soaring and singing in the bright ether beyond all earthly sweetness. And by lifting above me, nor the ones who were hastening up my hand I could pluck and taste. hither and thither, as though bent upon In every direction above and around me some high mis&.ion, had spoken to me or the whole air seemed not only to be laden approached me. with the sweetest perfumes coming from the I was alone in heaven! Then, in a still fairest flowers, but filled with the fairest stranger and mysterious way, I appeared to forms. For, floating about me were beautiful feel in myself a sort of unfitness for the beings whom I felt by instinct were angels society of those pure beings who were sail­ and archangels, seraph and seraphim, cherub ing around me in indescribable loveliness. and cherubim, together with the perfect How could it be? Had I come there by mis­ blood-washed saints who had come from our take? Was I not counted worthy of this glo­ own world. They were sometimes far, and rious inheritance? It was indeed a mystery. again coming nearer. My thoughts went back to earth. And all The whole sky at times seemed to be full before me, as though unfolded by an angel's of white-winged, happy, worshiping, joyous hand, the record of my past life was unrolled beings. And the whole country, apparently before my eyes. What a record it was! I of limitless extent, was filled with a blissful glanced over it. And in a glance I seemed to ecstasy that could only be known by being master its entire contents-so rapidly, in­ experienced. deed, that I became conscious of a marvelous You may perhaps imagine my sensation. quickening of my intellectual powers. I real­ At first I was swallowed up with a sort of ized that I could take in and understand in ecstatic intoxication, which feeling was im­ a moment what would have required a day mediately enhanced by the consciousness 'With my poor, darkened faculties on earth. that I was safe, saved, to suffer and sin no With my quickened mind, I saw, to my more. delight, at that very first glance, that this Page Six Page Seven register of my earthly existence-the Divine I had left. And there came up before my biography of my life--contained no record eyes a vivid picture of its hatred for God, of any misdeeds before my conversion. In­ its rejection of Christ, its wickedness, with deed, that part of my life seemed to be very all the wretchedness and destitution and much of a blank. I further perceived that abomination. It utterly appalled me. Also neither was there any record of the sins I into my ears there came a hurricane of curs­ had done since that time. It was as though ing and blasphemy, and a wail of anguish some friendly hand had gone through the and woe that stunned me. rol1 and blotted out the record of the evil I had seen these sights and had heard doings of my life. This was very gratifying. these sounds before, not too often, it is true, I felt like shouting praises to God, who had because I had hid myself from them. But delivered me from the pain of having these now they blinded and stunned me. They ap­ things staring me in the face in this beauti­ peared a million times blacker and more ful, holy land, among all these holy beings, vile, more wretched and piteous, than they where it seemed to me that the very memory had ever seemed before! of sin would defile. I felt like putting my hands before my Nevertheless, a further glance at my rec­ eyes, and my fingers in my ears to shut these ord appalled me, for there was written things out from sight and hearing, so in­ therein-leaving out, as I have said, the sins tensely real and present did they seem. They of commission-there was written the exact wrung my soul with sorrow and self-reproach, daily record of the whole of my past life! because on the "Record of Memory" I saw In fact, it went much deeper, because it how I had occupied myself during the few described in full detail the object for which years which I had been allowed to live amidst I had lived. It recorded my thoughts and all these miseries, after Jesus Christ had feelings and actions-how and for what I called me to be His soldier. I was reminded had employed my time, my money, my in­ how, instead of fighting His battles, instead fluence,and aU the other talents and gifts of saving souls by bringing them to His feet, which God had intrusted me with to spend and so preparing them for admission into for His glory and for the salvation of the this lovely place, I had been on the contrary, lost. intent on earthly things, selfishly seeking my Every chapter of this record carried my own, spending .my life in practical unbelief, thoughts back to the condition of the world disioyalty and disobedience. Page Eight Page Nine I felt sick at heart. Oh, if at that moment no hope for a second probation. What was I could have crept out of the "land of pure to be done? delight" about which I had sung so much I had not been musing in this way for in the past, and could have gone back to many seconds, for thoughts appeared to flow the world of darkness, sin and misery, which with remarkable rapidity, when, quick as a I had just left-if I could but spend another lightning flash, one of those bright inhab­ lifetime among the lost and dying, and truly itants which I had watched floating far off follow my LordI in the clouds of glory, descended and stood But that could not be. My opportunities before my astonished gaze. of earth were past. Heaven must now be I can never forget the awe-struck feelings my dwelling forever. And contradictory as with which I -beheld this heavenly being. it may seem, this thought filled my soul with Describe the shape and features and bearing unspeakable regret. of this noble form I cannot, and I will not And then came another thought, more attempt it. He was at the same time angelic wild than any that had gone before it. (You and human, earthly and yet celestial. I dis­ must remember that it is a vision I am relat­ cerned therefore at a glance that he was one ing.) It was this: Would it be possible for of the "blood-washed multitude" who had me to obtain permission to go back to the "come out of the great tribulations of earth." world, to that very part of it from which I I not only judged from a certain majestic had come, clothed in some human form, and appearance which he bore, but from instinct live my earthly life over again-live it in I felt that the being before me was a man, a manner worthy of my profession, worthy a redeemed and glorified man. of my Christ and my opportunity? Could He looked at me. And I could not keep this be? from returning his gaze. His eyes compelled If at that moment an answer in the affirm­ me. And I confess I was ravished by his ative had been brought to me, I would have beauty. I could never have believed the hu­ gladly given up my heavenly blessedness. man face divine could ever bear so grand I would have gladly undergone ages of hard­ a stamp of dignity and charm. ship, ignominy, poverty and pain. I would But far oeyond the entrancing loveliness have given up a million dollars in money. of those celestial features was the expression Yes, I would have gladly given a world, if which filled his total countenance, and shone it had been mine to give! But I could see through those eyes that were gazing upon Page Ten Page ElefJen me. It was as though that face was only a echoed in every valley, and had been spoken sunlit window, through which I could .see in every room of every mansion. It had been into the depths of the pure, kindly and ten­ . proclaimed from every tower and pinnacle der soul within. of the stupendous temple in which these I don't know how I looked to my beautiful glorified saints day and night present their visitor. I don't know what form I had. I had worship to the great Father. not seen myself in a mirror since I had taken All who had known me on earth, all who on immortality for mortality. had any knowledge of my family, my oppor­ It was evident that he had a deep interest tunities for helping forward the Kingdom in me. But it was an interest which seemed of Christ, whom they worshipped and adored, to bring sadness to him. His features seemed were burning to see me and hear me tell to me to grow almost sorrowful as I sat of the victories I had won and the souls I there with my eyes fixed on him in a fasci­ had blessed while on earth. And all were nated spell. especially anxious to hear if I had been the He spoke first. Had he not done so I could means of bringing salvation to the loved never have summoned courage to address ones they had left behind. him. His voice was soft and musical, l;ind All this was poured upon my soul. I didn't fitted well with the seriousness of his bear­ know which way to look. Again and again ing. I understood him almost before I heard I remembered my life of ease and comfort. his words, although I cannot tell now what What could I say? How could I appear with language he spoke. I suppose it was the uni­ the record of my life before these waiting versallanguage of heaven. ones? What was there in it except a record This was the substance of what he said: of self-gratification? I had no martyr stories My arrival was known throughout a certain to tell. I had sacrificed nothing worth nam­ district of the celestial regions, where were ing on earth, much less in heaven, for His gathered the ransomed ones who had come dear sake! from the earthly neighborhood where I had My mind was running in this direction, lived. The tidings of my arrival had been when I think my visitor must have discov­ flashed through the heavenly telephone, ered something of what I was thinking, and which spoke not in one ear only, but in felt pity for me. Seeing my consternation every ear in that particular region. My name he spoke again. had been whispered in every hillside and "Where you find yourself is not actually Page Twelve Page Thirtem

• heaven," he said, "but only its forecourt, a work, and was taken to heaven. sort of outer circle. Presently, the Lord Him­ HAnd now," he added, "where is my boy? self, with a great procession of His chosen Give me tidings of my boy! He lived near ones will come to take you into the Celestial you, and had business dealings with you. City itself. There is where your residence What did you do for him? Is there hope? will be if He deems you worthy; that is, if Tell me what his feelings are today." your conduct on the battlefield below has He stopped speaking. My heart sank pleased Him. within me. What could I say? I knew the "Meanwhile, I have obtained permission boy. The story of the father's death and his to come and speak to you concerning a soul prodigal son had been told me. I had never who is very dear to me. I understand he spoken one seFious word to the boy about lives in the neighborhood where you recently his soul or about his Savior. I had been busy lived, and from which you have just come. about other things. And now, what could Our knowledge of the affairs of earth is, I say to his father, who stood before me? for our own sakes, limited, but now and I was speechless! then we are permitted to get a glimpse. The cloud that I had noticed before again "Can you," he said, "tell me anything came over the face of my visitor, but with about my son? He was my only son. I loved a dark shadow this time. He must have him dearly. I loved him too much. I spoiled guessed the truth. He looked at me with a him when a child! He had his own way. He look in which I felt that disappointment to grew up willful, passionate and disobedient. himself and pity for me were combined. He And my example didn't help him." then spread his wings and soared away. Here a cloud for a moment came over I was so intently gazing after his retreat­ the beautiful brow, but vanished as quickly ing form that I hadn't noticed a second fair as it came. "Memory has been busy, but being, who had descended from above, and that has all gone," he said, as though talking who now occupied the place abandoned to himself. And then he finished the story only a moment before by my last visitor. of his prodigal son. He, the father, had been I turned and looked upon the newcomer. rescued, washed, regenerated. He had learned This was a spirit of the same class, of the to fight for souls, and had won many to the same ransomed multitude who once were blood-stained banner. Then he had suddenly dwellers of earth. There was a dignity of been taken in death by an accident at his bearing. the same marvelous expression of Page Fourteen P"ge FifleetJ

• inward power, and purity, and joy. But in earth. She was a widow who had struggled this case there was a beauty (which I could through great difficulties. Her husband's have imagined) of more delicate and en­ death had resulted in her conversion to thralling mold. Christ. Converted, she had given herself up Beautiful as I thought my first visitor to unreservedly to fight for the Lord. Her chil­ be, more beautiful than conception or dream dren had been her first care. They had all of earth could be, yet here was a beauty been saved, and were fighting for God, ex­ that surpassed it-not, perhaps, if judged 'J cept one. from heaven's view, but judged from my . The mention of that name brought the standpoint, for it must be remembered that same saddening cloud on her lovely face I was still a man. My former visitor I have which had dimmed the bright face of my said was a glorious man-this one was evi­ first visitor. But the cloud vanished almost dently the glorified form of a woman. as soon as it came. That one, that unsaved I had, when on earth, sometimes thought one, was a girl who had been her mother's that I could have wished for the privilege delight. She had grown up beautiful, the of beholding Eve in the hour when she came village pride, but alas! had gone astray. It forth from the hands of her Maker. And I was the old story of wrong, and of being had imagined something-only something, seduced into evil ways. And then of utter of what her beautiful form must have been abandonment to that way of life, and all as she sprang into being on that bridal morn­ the consequent train of miseries. ing, young and pure and beautiful-the fair image of her Maker-perhaps, the sweetest J listened. I had known some of the sad work of God. Now, here I saw her-I saw story on earth, but I had turned away from Eve reproduced before my eyes as young, hearing any more about it, as being "no con­ pure and beautiful, even more beautiful ) cern of mine." Little did I ever think that than her first mother could possibly have I would be confronted with it in heaven! been, for was not this His finished work? 1 And now the bright spirit turned those But I was soon awakened from my dream eyes on me that, beaming with love and con­ by the voice of the fair creature who, from cern, were more beautiful than ever. She her manner, evidently wished to speak to me said again: "My daughter lived near you. on some matter of great importance. You know her. Have you saved her" I don't She told me her name. I had heard it on know much about her, but I do know that Page Sixteen

• one earnest and determined effort would way as my former visitors. He had been a save her, and win her to Christ." great singer, but was awakened and won to And then again she asked me, "Have you Christ only a short while back. Having had saved my child?" much forgiven, he had loved much. All his I must have cried out in agony. I know desire after his conversion was to get free I put my hands over my eyes, because I from the entanglements of business and to could no longer bear to meet her intent devote himself a living sacrifice to the saving look, which now turned to one of pity for of men. me. When just on the threshold of Ihe reali­ How long she continued to look on me, zation of his wish, he had been sent 10 with an expression of concern almost greater heaven. And Here he was, a spirit of glory than she had shown for her lost child, I do and joy, corning to inquire of me concern­ not know. But when I uncovered my eyes ing the church group among whom he had she was gone, and the silvery sheen of ~er labored, and of the crowd of companions white wings marked her out to my seekmg he had left behind. Was I acquainted with eyes like a speck on the distant blue. . . his little church? Their place of worship Then I cried out, "Oh, my God, IS thIS was near my place of business. Had I helped heaven? Will these questionings go on for­ them in their difficulties, and in their service ever? Will the meanness and selfishness of and testimony for Christ? Had I done any­ my past life haunt me throughout eternity? thing for his old mates, who were drinking What shall I do? Can I not go back to earth, and cursing their way to hell? He had died and do something to redeem myself from with prayers for them on his lips. Had I this wretched sense of unworthiness? Can I stopped them on their way to ruin? not live my life over again?" Again I could not speak. What could This question had hardly passed through say? I knew his church. But I had never my mind when there was another rush of given them any encouragement or help. I wings, and down beside me alighted another knew of the hovels in which his old mates form, surprisingly resembling the first th.at lived, and the dens of hell in which they had spoken to me, and yet, oh so very dIf­ spent their time and money. But I had been ferent! But I will not take time to describe too busy, or too proud, or too cowardly to him; you must imagine it. seek them out with the message of the Sav­ He introduced himself much in the same ior's love. Page Eighteen Page Nineteen ------

• I was utterly speechless. He guessed my yond question-and such music as I had feelings, I suppose, because with a look of never heard before. But there was a strange sympathy he left in sadness-at least in as commingling of other sounds which all to­ much sadness as is possible in heaven. gether made a marvelous melody, made up, As for myself, I was in anguish-strange as I afterwards discovered, by the strains that as it may appear, considering I was in came from the multitude of musicians, and heaven. But so it was. Wondering whether the shouts and songs that proceeded from there was not some comfort for me I invol­ innumerable voices. This phenomenon was untarily looked around. And I saw a mar­ approaching rapidly. But my curiosity was velous phenomenon on the horizon at a so strongly aro~sed to know what it was that great distance. All that part of the heavens a few minutes seemed an age. appeared to be filled with a brilliant light, Finally I was able to make out what it surpassing the blaze of a thousand suns at was. It was astounding! But who could de­ noonday. And yet there was no blinding scribe it! The whole firmament was filled, glare making it difficult to gaze upon, as as it were, with innumerable forms, each of is the case with our own sun when it shines beauty and dignity, far surpassing those with in its glory. Here was a brilliance far sur­ whom I had already made an acquaintance. passing anything that could be imagined, Here was a representative portion of the and yet I could look upon it with pleasure. aristocracy of heaven accompanying the As I continued to gaze, wondering what King, who came to welcome into the heaven it could be, it appeared to come a little of heavens the spirits of men and women closer. Then I realized it was coming in my who had escaped from earth, who had fought direction. I was still reclining on the banks the good fight, who had kept the faith, and of the beautiful river. had overcome in the conflict as He had over­ And now I could distinctly hear the sound come. of music. The distance was a great many I stood filled with awe and wonder. Could miles, after the measurement of earth, but it be possible? Was I at last actually to see the atmosphere was so clear, and I found my Lord and be welcomed by Him? In the my eyesight so strong, that I could easily thought of this rapture I forgot the sorrow see objects at a distance which, on earth, that only a moment before had reigned in would have required a powerful telescope. my heart, and my whole nature swelled with The sound came closer. It was music, be­ expectation and delight. '------­Page Tweflty Page TwentY-Qne

• And now the procession was upon me. been millions. It was indeed a "multitude I had seen some of the pageants of earth­ that no man could number." displays that required the power of mighty All were praising God, either in hymns monarchs, and the wealth of great cities and expressive of adoration and worship, or by nations to create-but they were each, or all recounting, in songs of rapture the mighty combined, as the feeble light of a candle to victories which they had witnessed on earth a tropical sun in comparison with the tre­ -or describing some wonderful work they mendous scene which now spread itself be­ had seen elsewhere. . fore my astonished eyes. And now, the great central glory and at­ On it came. I had sprung up from my traction of the splendid procession was at reclining position, and then had fallen pros­ hand. . trate as the first rank of these shining heav­ I gathered this from the still more digni­ enly spirits neared me. Each one looked in fied character of the beings who now swept himself, to my untutored eyes",like a god, by, the heavier crash of music and the louder so far as greatness and power could be ex­ shouts of exultation which came pealing pressed by the outward appearance of any from all around. being. I was right, and before I could prepare Rank after rank swept past me. Each my spirit for the visitation, it was upon me. turned his eyes upon me, or seemed to do The King was here! In the center of circling so. I could not help feeling that I was some­ hosts-which rose tier above tier into the what an object of pity to them aiL Perhaps blue vault above. turning on Him their mil­ it was my own feelings that made me imag­ lions of eyes, lustrous with the love they ine this. But it certainly appeared to me as bore Him-I beheld the celestial form of though these noble beings regarded me as Him who Once died for me upon the cross. a fearful, cowardly soul, who had only cared The procession halted. Then at a word of for his own interests on earth, and had come command, they formed up instantly in three up there with the same selfish motives. sides of a square in front of me, the King On they came. Thousands passed me, yet standing in the center immediately opposite there appeared to me to be no diminishment the spot where I had prostrated myself. in the numbers yet to come. I looked at the What a sight that was! Worth toiling a procession as it stretched backwards, but my lifetime to behold it! Nearest to the King eyes could see no end to it. There must have were the patriarchs and apostles of ancient Page Tu'enty.tu'o P,(ge T wen/y·tbree

• times. Next, rank after rank, came the holy and glorious, there was yet no welcome for martyrs who had died for Him. Then came me. I had felt this in the faces of my previous the army of warriors who had fought for visitors. I felt it again in the Lord's. Him in every part of the world. That face, that Divine face, seemed to say And around and about, above and below, to me, for language Was not needed to con­ I beheld myriads and myriads of spirits who vey to the very depths of my soul what His were never heard of on earth outside their feelings were to me: "Thou wilt feel thyself own neighborhood, or beyond their own little in harmony with these, once the com­ times, who, with self-denying zeal and un­ panions of My tribulations and now of My tiring toil had labored to extend God's king­ glory, who counted not their lives dear unto dom and to save the souls of men. And themselves in 9rder that they might bring encircling the gorgeous scene, above, be­ honor to Me and salvation to men." And neath, around, hovered glittering angelic He gave a look of admiration at the host of beings who had kept their first estate, proud, apostles and martyrs and warriors gathered it seemed to me, to minister to the happiness around Him. and exaltation of these redeemed out of the Oh, that look of Jesus! I felt that to have poor world from which I came. one such loving recognition-it would be I was bewildered by the scene. The songs, worth dying a hundred deaths at the stake. the music, the shouts of the multitude that It would be worth being torn asunder by came like the roar of a thousand cataracts, wild beasts. The angelic escort felt it too, echoed and re-echoed through the sunlit for their responsive burst of praise and song mountains. And the magnificent and end­ shook the very skies and the ground on less array of happy spirits ravished my senses which I lay, with passionate delight. All at once, how­ Then the King turned His eyes on me ever, I remembered myself, and was re­ again. How I wished that some mountain minded of the High Presence before Whom would fall upon me and hide me forever I was bowed, and lifting up my eyes I beheld from His presence! But I wished in vain. Him gazing upon me. Some invisible and irresistible force com­ What a look it was! It was not pain, and pelled me to look up, and my eyes met His yet it was not pleasure. It was not anger, once more. I felt, rather than heard, Him and yet it was not approval. Anyway, I felt saying to me in words that engraved them­ that in that face, so inexpressibly admirable selves as fire upon my brain:

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• "Go back to earth. I will give thee another me. And in my heart I felt ready to face it. opportunity. Prove thyself worthy of My The cloud of shining ones had vanished. name. Show to the world that thou possess­ The music was silent. I closed my eyes and est My spirit by doing My works, and be­ gave myself over, body, soul and spirit, to coming, on My behalf, a savior of men. the disposal of my Savior-to live, not for Thou shalt return hither when thou hast my own salvation, but for the glory of my finished the battle, and I will give thee a Christ, and for the salvation of the world. place in My conquering train, and a share And then and there, the same blessed voice in My glory." of my King stole over my heart, as He prom­ What I felt under that look and those ised that His presence should go with me words no heart or mind could possibly de­ back to earth, aad make me more than con­ scribe. They were mingled feelings. First queror through His blood. came the unutterable anguish arising out of the full realization that I had wasted my life, that it had been a life squandered on the paltry ambitions and trifling pleasures This was only a vIsion General William of earth-while it might have been filled and Booth received. Do not expect that when sown with deeds that would have produced the time comes for you to leave this life that a never-ending harvest of heavenly fruit. My you will have another chance. The Bible life could have won for me the approval of teaches, "It is appointed unto man, once to heaven's King, and made me worthy to be die, but after this the judgment." Hebrews the companion of these glorified heroes. 9:27. General Booth was already zealously But combined with this self-reproach serving God at the time he received this there was a gleam of hope. My earnest de­ vision. Therefore, the warning of the vision sire to return to earth was to be granted. was not for himself, but for him to tell, as Perhaps it was in response to the longings a warning and admonition to others. I had felt ever since the realization of my The account of this vision by General earthly failures had dawned upon me that Booth has brought warning, challenge and this favor was granted to me. I could have inspiration to many. The writer of the words the privilege of living my life over again. you are now reading was likewise brought up True, it was a high responsibility. but Jesus short to realize his true positiun when he read would be with me. His Spirit would enable the account of this vision years ago. Page Twenty-six

• I was a young man, professing faith in tian is living a life that is in rebellion toward Christ. I had been baptized, joined the God. And the person who professes to be­ church, was active in the choir, in Sunday lieve in Christ but who will not surrender School work, youth work, etc. But my main his life and will to Him is likewise living in interest was in promoting my own interests. rebellion toward God. And the same con­ But-you may be thinking-that wouldn't demnation hangs over that one as hangs over affect one's salvation if one is truly trusting the one who makes no profession at all. in Christ. We are not saved by works. In the eighth chapter of Mark it's recorded That is true, that we are not saved by that Christ stated, "Whosoever will come works, but we must truly be born again, or after me, let him deny himself, and take up we are lost. And to be born again means to his cross and foHow me." A cross is an im· be truly converted from self to Christ. The plement of death. Christ calls us to death! person whose main interest is ease, comfort, It must be death to the selflife in order that pleasure and the attaining of certain coveted we may become alive to Him to do His will. goals for self in this life is not converted It is when we die to self and become alive from self to Christ. Such a one is not truly to His will for us that we are born again born again no matter how much that one and are truly converted. is trusting in Christ for salvation. Is this realIy true in your life? Your trust and faith in Christ must move In the next verse the Lord says, "For who­ you to obey Christ, and to live for Him and soever will save his life shall lose it; but please Him-

• You may argue, as so many do, that this ina ted his life thus far. He has refused real means that if a Christian lives his life on obedience to God as his rightful Governor. earth for himself that he will have no re­ And his condemnation is to be forever sepa­ wards in Heaven. He will have wasted and rated from God. "For the wages of sin is lost his opportunities. death." Romans 6:23. And, "This is the sec­ But will you read with me what the very ond death." Revelation 20: 14. next verse says? The Lord continues, "For The sinner must then realize, as revealed what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain in God's Word, that his only hope is '0 the whole world, and lose his own soul?" become reconciled to God through Jesus Is He talking about rewards here or is He Christ. And that reconciliation is not of the talking about the matter of eternal life or mind only but also of the heart. "For with eternal death? Surely if you will be honest the heart man believeth unto righteousness." with yourself and with God you must admit Romans 10:10. that in these verses He is speaking of losing God sent His Son to die on Calvary's one's own soul by having lived a life for cross for our sin, that we might be forgiven. self. What other conclusion can we come to But God imparts forgiveness only when both if we study the meaning of these three sen­ mind and heart have received Christ. With tences from Christ honestly? our mind we receive the record of what You have great ambitions for yourself. Christ has done for us, and with the heart Maybe you are one who has even attained we dethrone self and enthrone Christ in our to many of those ambitions. But what do life, receiving Him to be our Lord and Ruler you really have, or what have you really in very truth. When Christ is thus believed accomplished, even if you have gained all on and received, then true conversion and of the world that you desire? What does all the new birth has come to that life, and that of this amount to, all the pleasures, all the sinner has been reconciled to God. satisfaction, all the ease, comfort and secur­ But for the one who wishes to receive ity, if it means that your soul will be LOST, Christ only as Savior but not as Lord-that because your life is wrapped up in yourself one is not yet converted. He is still in rebel­ instead of being wrapped up in Christ and lion toward God. in doing what He would have you do. You may argue that we can have no real To become a Christian one must first real­ assurance of salvation if we believe that obe­ ize that he is a sinner, and that self has dom- dience to Christ is necessary for acceptance Page Thirty Page Thirty.one

• with God. You may be one who has said, hath life; and he that hath not the Son of "All we have to do is believe. Anything more God hath not life." I John 5: 12. The only than that is works. And we are not saved by ,,;,ay .you can ~ve th~ Son of God enter your works." hfe IS to. recel~e Him completely, without Yes, it's true that no good works on our compromise, Without reservation. "If He is part can in any way cancel our gUilt of sin. not Lord of all He is not Lord at all." Only the death of Christ atones for sin. But .If you have sought to enter Heaven's gate besides the cancelling of the gUilt of sin Without real conversion of heart and life to there must be a change of heart. And unless Christ will you not surrender to Him now? that has happened, and unless Christ has And serve Him with even greater zeal than become your Lord in truth there has not you ever servect self, when you sought earthly been real conversion, you are still not rec­ pleasures, ease and riches. And the Christ onciled to God, and you are not saved. who lives and works through His true serv­ As to assurance--only the one who has ants will likewise live and work through you surrendered his life and will to Christ can to the salvation of others. have genuine assurance that aU is well with "~nly one life. 'Twill soon be past. Only his soul. The apostle John, inspired of God, what s done for Christ shall last." I am wrote­ t~ankful that God awakened me when He "And hereby we do know that we know did. I trust He has likewise spoken to you. Him, if we keep His commandments. He that saith, I know Him, and keepeth not His commandments, is a liar, and the truth 7 he one who has handed this booklet to y.0u is not in him. But whoso keepeth His word, or has .sent i.t to you in the mail, or has possibly made It avadable to you in some other way, is in him verily is the love of God perfected: C?ncerned that you make your calling and elec. hereby know we that we are in Him." I John t~on sure, an~, that you receive a glorious and 2:3-5. rich entrance mto that glorious kingdom. And if I John was written to give assurance to you are on<: ~ho wa.s already converted [0 Christ before receiving thiS booklet, the giver desires true believers, to show them that they could that you will be challenged as never before by know that they had eternal life. It also shows the message here. the one with false hope that his hope is with­ "The pen is mightier than the sword." Share in out foundation. ~he distribution of this booklet that many others m tum may be challenged and blessed by its meso John also said, "He that hath the Son sage as you have been. Page Thirty-two If you are not sure that you are right with God

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