Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology Rose-Hulman Scholar

The Rose Thorn Archive Student Newspaper

Fall 9-8-2006

Volume 42 - Issue 01 - Friday, September 8, 2006

Rose Thorn Staff Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology, [email protected]

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Recommended Citation Rose Thorn Staff, "Volume 42 - Issue 01 - Friday, September 8, 2006" (2006). The Rose Thorn Archive. 183. https://scholar.rose-hulman.edu/rosethorn/183

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This Book is brought to you for free and open access by the Student Newspaper at Rose-Hulman Scholar. It has been accepted for inclusion in The Rose Thorn Archive by an authorized administrator of Rose-Hulman Scholar. For more information, please contact [email protected]. R OSE -H ULMAN I NSTITUTE OF T ECHNOLOGY T ERRE H AUTE , I NDIANA Friday, September 8, 2006 Volume 42, Issue 1 “I’m here for the students” News Briefs Jakubowski answers questions and concerns at open forum By Ryan Schultz Fred Webber As for making changes Band sounded terrific. The Staff Writer around Rose, the president cheerleaders were fantastic, wants to get to know the and the football team just re- Apple introduces new t 5pm yesterday, Rose- Rose-Hulman culture be- ally looked fantastic.” A large iMacs Hulman’s 13th Presi- fore instituting any changes. part of what impressed the Adent, Gerald Jakubows- Jakubowski indicated that president was school spirit. “[I Apple Computer announced on ki, participated in a question he wanted to meet 100% of saw] more school spirit than Wednesday new iMac computers fea- and answer session hosted the faculty and staff. He also all my time at ASU, and I think turing chips from Intel’s Core 2 Duo by the SGA in Hatfield Hall indicated that he especially that’s a credit to each of you.” 64-bit processor family. The new for students. Sixty-six stu- wanted to meet the students “One of the nice things computers ship with a host of features, dents attended the confer- and get to know our goals at about being the [new] presi- including a built-in webcam, the iLife ence to hear what our new Rose. When asked about fac- dent is you don’t know a creative suite, Front Row multimedia president had to say about ulty who aren’t as friendly, “If a lot of things, but I brought entertainment software, and an 8x the future of Rose-Hulman. faculty member is not provid- Tammy [Shaffer, his execu- slot-loading DVD/CD writer/reader. SGA President Riley But- ing that ‘warm fuzzy feeling’ tive assistant], and if Tammy The new machines mark Apple’s try began the conference and they do not have tenure, doesn’t know, we’ll ask Pete.” first use of Intel’s newest processor. by introducing the presi- I will make sure they don’t get At that time, the president The Core 2 Duo, the first in a line of dent: Jakubowski came from tenure here. If they do have opened the floor to questions. microchips based on a brand-new ar- the largest university in the tenure, we will work with One freshman from Scharpen- chitecture, was launched on July 27 country, Arizona State Uni- them to try to do a better job.” berg asked, “What are a few of and put Intel back on top, knocking off versity. There, he served Jakubowski has already got- your ideas for changes in the rival Advanced Micro Devices (AMD). as provost and dean of ten involved – for starters, he school?” Jakubowski reiter- Apple’s newest computer is current- their polytechnic institute. has attended tailgating events ated that he wanted to get ly shipping. More information on the “I’m here for the students, and hallympics. One event to know Rose first. However, iMac can be found at www.apple.com. all the faculty and staff are that really impressed him- he indicated the general ap- here for the students,” he was last Saturday’s football proach he intends to try: Christina Davis / Rose Thorn Phone telepathy a stressed. “It’s all for the stu- game. “I was just very proud, “We have a fantastic institu- Dr. Jakubowski addresses dents. … I want you to feel very very, very proud to be associ- tion,” explained Jakubowski. student questions at the comfortable coming to the ated with Rose-Hulman,” ex- open forum Thursday. reality President’s office just to chat.” claimed Jakubowski. “The Pep Continued on Page 3... Have you experienced the phenom- ena of thinking of a friend or relative and having that individual contact you shortly thereafter? A scientist A Hallympics for the Ages from Trinity University in Cambridge, England claims he has proof that this coincidence may not be as coinciden- tal as common sense would suggest. Individuals who participated in the experiment were able to correctly guess who was calling them 45% of the time. “The hit rate was 45 percent, well above the 25 percent you would have expected,” said Rupert Shel- drake, the researcher who headed the study, “the odds against this being a chance effect are 1,000 billion to one.” Bush acknowledges secret prisons President Bush acknowledged in Christina Davis and Albert Mui / Rose Thorn a speech on Wednesday that the CIA Students from all corners of campus turned out for the an- maintained secret prisons outside nual Hallympics competition. After more than half-a-dozen of the United States where prisoners competitions, Speed emerged victorious. captured in the war on terrorism were held. According to the President, the terrorists from these secret prisons have provided information neces- sary to stop new attacks around the world. The President said that this in- formation “has saved innocent lives.” Wednesday also marked the Pen- tagon’s introduction of new regula- tions concerning prisoner treatment in detention facilities. Fourteen of detainees who are “high-level” in the CIA prisons are to be transferred to Pentagon control at Guantanamo Bay where they will stand trial by military tribunal. Torture was not allowed in Final Standings the CIA prisons. “They [the detainees] are in our custody so they cannot mur- der our people,” said the President. 1 - Speed2 - Apartments3 - Scharpenberg4 - Deming5 - Blumberg 6 - Percopo7 - BSB 8 - Mees /Skinner News Entertainment Opinions Sports Flipside

Steve Irwin killed by a Snakes! My Very Energetic Fall sports preview “I’m already crunk about stingray. Mother Just Said, “Uh-oh, this year.” No Pluto!” Page 3 Pages 4-5 Page 6 Page 7 Page 8 2 EVENTS & CLASSIFIEDS The Rose Thorn

Friday Saturday September 8 9

Upcoming *Hallympics, 4:30 p.m. *Blues at the Crossroads, - 5:30 p.m. All day, Wabash & 7th St. *Volleyball, Rose Invita- *Volleyball, Rose Invita- tional, 6:00 p.m. - 10:00 tional, 10:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m., Hulbert Arena p.m., Hulbert Arena community events *Women’s/Men’s soccer games, 12:00 p.m./2:00 p.m., Jim Rendel field *Football game, 6:00 p.m., Cook Stadium Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

*Panhellenic ice cream *Homecoming Queen *IM Tennis registration *IM Golf scramble regis- *Game room foosball *Career Services’ Senior *Women’s/Men’s soccer social, 12:00 p.m., Jim candidate applications deadline tration deadline tournament registration, Seminar, 3:30 p.m., PA games, 12:00 p.m. and Rendel field Available *Career Services’ Senior *Game room foosball Chauncey’s Room 2:00 p.m., Jim Rendel *Women’s and Men’s *Quarterback Club Seminar, 4:30 p.m., PA tournament registration, *Career Services’ Senior *CSSE: Tori Bowman of field soccer games, 12:00 Luncheon, 11:45 a.m., Room Chauncey’s Seminar, 4:30 p.m., PA Rockwell Collins, 4:20 *IM Golf scramble tour- p.m. and 2:00 p.m., Jim Chauncey’s *Graduate school work- *Career Services’ Senior Room p.m., O167 nament Rendel field *Career Services’ Senior shop, 5:30 p.m., Kahn Seminar, 4:30 p.m., 5:30 *Football game, 1:30 p.m., *Indianapolis Colts’ Seminar, 4:30 p.m., PA rooms p.m., and 6:30 p.m., PA Cook Stadium *Panhellenic information Opening Night, 8:00 Room Room meeting, 7:00 p.m., M137 p.m., Chauncey’s

Rose Community:

If you know of a club event or $6.50/hr other campus event that should be listed in our calendar, contact Work Study Position [email protected] with Available NOW information. Assistant Advertising Manager Classifieds ~Communicate with advertisers Renting 1-5 Bedrooms ~Design graphic advertisements Now renting 1-5 bedrooms. $310-$550. Some utilities includ- ~Manage important finances ed. No pets. Gibson Apartments, 234-4884. ~Work with billing/accts payable Tutor Needed ~No Experience Required! North student needs pre-calculus tutor. 243-0230 or 243- ~On-Campus Opportunity! 3911. ~Paid Training! ~Flexible Hours! Sharp Flats East ~Great Résumé Builder! Available now — Studios at Sharp Flats East. 5 minute walk to ~Advancement Available! campus. $375/mo includes bed, own bathroom, parking, and all utilities. Supply limited, so call today. Sharpflats.com or 812-877-1146. sharpfl[email protected]. Sharp Flats, 6th Street [email protected] Available now — 1-3 bedroom, 708 S. 6th Street and 700 S. 5th Street. Call for more info. 812-877-1146. www.sharpflats.com. sharpfl[email protected].

Editorial Staff Thorn Staff Editor-in-Chief Lissa Avery Writers Lindsay Pethick News Editor Ryan Schultz The Rose Thorn Jon Ogilvie Assistant News Editor Angela Smiley CM 5037, 5500 Wabash Ave. Philip Becker Opinions Editor Aaron Meles Terre Haute, IN 47803-3999 Alvin Anassi Entertainment Editor Bill Waite Phone:(812)877-8255 Jessica Rogers Entertainment Editor Fax: (812)877-8166 Fred Webber Emeritus Mike Jones E-mail: [email protected] Jim Sedoff Sports Editor Mike Ferguson http://www.rose-hulman.edu/thorn David Chen Humor Editor Gregory Weir Phillip Meiser Layout Manager Andrea Brown “Working to keep the Rose-Hulman community informed Matthew Melton Copy Editor Bill Waite by providing an accurate and Kyle Kamischke Photo Editor Ken Meyer dependable source for news and information.” Tiffany Parrott Chris Casillas Administrative Staff Albert Mui Advertising Manager Richard Ballard The Rose Thorn is published on Fridays first through ninth week each quarter. James Zhou Asst. Advertising Mgr. Tyler Price Robert Prescott Business Manager OPEN Webmaster Jonathan Ziebell Cartoonist Erin Hudson Advisor Richard House Photographer Christina Davis

The Rose Thorn welcomes and encourages comments from its readers. We request that all letters to the editor be less than 600 words in length. THE DEADLINE FOR CONTENT SUBMISSION IS 5 P.M. TWO DAYS PRIOR TO PUBLICATION All content should be submitted to [email protected] or to the Rose Thorn Office (Hulman Memorial Union room 249). The editors reserve the right to edit submissions for clarity, grammar, length, and factual errors. The editors reserve the right to accept content changes submitted after deadline. All letters must contain the writer’s signature (electronic form is acceptable) and contact information (e-mail address and/or phone number). The views expressed in the Rose Thorn are those of the original author and do not necessarily represent the views of the Rose Thorn staff or Rose-Hulman community. Friday, September 8, 2006 NEWS 3 Jakubowski, from Page 1

“I want to challenge the faculty background, and diversity in and the staff to look at other insti- geographical background, not tutions and see what’s really going just racial. “First of all, we need ADVANCING TO A HIGHER DEGREE on,” and how that could be used to make sure we have an affirma- GRADUATESCHOOL COMMUNITY • KNOWLEDGE • DISCOVERY at Rose. Some schools he men- tive action program in place,” said tioned included Harvey Mudd Jakubowski, indicating that one (who tied Rose-Hulman for its was put in place this past sum- #1 U.S. News ranking), Wooster mer. The current policy focuses To learn what the Polytechnic, Kettering, Bradley, on ensuring that search com- Lehigh, and Lafayette. Jakubows- mittees actively search out and Purdue Graduate ki indicated that many of those engage potential candidates and School has to offer schools are instituting more that in addition to posting posi- business and management-ori- tions in technical magazines, mi- you, attend the ented curriculums, but said that nority technical magazines would Rose-Hulman it was just one thing to consider. also get an ad. “We’ll also work Graduate School Fair Senior mechanical engineer- on programs promoting diversity ing major Andrew Johnson asked on campus to promote tolerance on Tuesday, about the size of the institute. “Do and acceptance.” Jakubowski September 12, from you think Rose has a good num- then went on to emphasize the “We came to Purdue because its renowned ber [of students]? Or do you think acceptance aspect being an im- engineering program overwhelmed us. The 5:30 p.m. to 8:00 it should grow to another size, like portant next step to tolerance. technical resources of the department, as well as the warmth felt by the students, faculty, and p.m. in the Kahn 2500 students?” Jakubowski felt “I’m concerned about the staff, were a determining factor, too.” that the one-on-one attention weight of affirmative action in ad- -Brandon and Brant Cassimere Room of the given to students was a big reason missions,” expressed one student, (PhD Students, Electrical and Computer Engineering, Hulman Student to remain a smaller size. “That’s checking to see if Rose would Energy Sources and Systems) what makes Rose-Hulman spe- adopt an admission system that Union Building. cial. That’s what sets us apart from would allow for lower standards other institutions. We don’t want for students of color. “The answer students to turn into a number.” is no,” Jakubowski said. “We will An equal access/equal opportunity university. www.gradschool.purdue.edu When asked about plans for not lower our standards for stu- Crapo and other buildings, dents of color. There are plenty Jakubowski proposed the pos- of qualified students of color out sibility of putting in a new build- there, we just have to reach them.” ing that could house the ABBE Senior Emma Hegwood com- and math departments as well mented that “our institution as new chem and bio labs. Stu- needs a little bit more culture. dent project groups and research Do you have any ideas for doing could take the space in Crapo. that?” she asked. The president Paul Meyer, a senior mechani- confabulated that “Education cal engineering major, comment- from between the covers of a book ed that “New buildings are expen- is a small fraction of a college sive, as well as tuition here. How education. You have to develop are you going to control that?” yourself … morally and socially.” The president pointed out briefly “How do you see Rose-Hulman’s that as part of the Association of role in the community now, and Independent Technical Universi- how it could be in the future?” in- ties, Rose-Hulman’s tuition is in quired Senior electrical engineer- the bottom third. That being said, ing major Robb Lauer. “We have “We have to try to hold tuition to be seen as a positive force, as ROSE THORN costs down. We have to increase a contributing force,” responded 9/8/2006 the endowment, increase the Jakubowski. “I’ve heard some of 88659-IN49482 scholarships and financial aid.” the things Rose-Hulman students PURUNI Diversity was brought up and do in Terre Haute, and I think 6” x 5” discussed by a few students. that’s a wonderful thing. We need Eric Mellendorf v.2 “What can we do to increase di- to be visible in the community.” versity on campus, and how im- Junior software engineering portant do you think it is?” asked major Zach Blankenbaker men- CLIENT APPROVAL graduate student Whitni Cotton. tioned that in the recent past, Increase Your Audience! The president mentioned that some programs in development Post this position on the web. Ask your BHG team for details. just this day, he had been work- were cut without “due consid- ing on diversity at Rose. “Diversity eration.” Specifically, he asked is very important in my mind,” about the Masters of Software explained Jakubowski. “We’re Engineering. “We’re going to have going to do something about it; a deep dialogue about Masters we’re not just going to pay lip programs,” replied Jakubowski. “I service to it. There’s a whole lit- think it’s possible to start Masters any of things we’re going to do.” programs in certain areas without Jakubowski indicated that di- losing the nurturing character of versity is not just race, but that Rose-Hulman,” he explained. there were eight categories of di- As for plans to teach? – Not versity he was concerned with. this year; he wants to get out and This list includes cultural back- meet alumni, but hopefully, he’ll ground, gender, socio-economic have the opportunity next year. Steve Irwin killed by stingray Albert Mui He was also famous for his many Staff Writer in-depth crocodile documenta- ries. Irwin’s wildlife television arlier this week, while series, “The Crocodile Hunter”, shooting a documentary was wildly successful and was Ein the Great Barrier Reef, broadcast to more than 200 mil- Steve Irwin, the world-renowned lion people in over 122 countries. naturalist famous for wrestling Irwin used his worldwide rec- crocodiles and the word “crikey,” ognition to illuminate his ef- was struck in the chest by a sting- forts as a conservationist and as ray barb and was unable to re- a symbol of Australia as a whole. cover. He was 44 years young. The ‘Croc Hunter was heavily in- Known worldwide as ‘The volved in the promotion of envi- Crocodile Hunter’, Irwin was fa- ronmentalism and the protection mous for his fearless antics in of endangered species, and he the presence of wild, exotic, and even went so far as to purchase sometimes dangerous animals. land tracts in Australia, Vanuatu, Irwin received exceptional ac- Fiji, and the United States in or- claim for his work in establishing der to set them aside as pseudo the Australia Zoo, which he sin- ‘national parks’. He was also an gle-handedly transformed from a adamant voice against illegal small reptile park into one of the animal poaching and land clear- major wildlife centers in Australia. ing that resulted in habitat loss. 4 ENTERTAINMENT The Rose Thorn Point-counterpoint: Snakes on a Plane Snakes is on point SoaP doesn’t wash Bill Waite got more than I could’ve tory, was killed by a snake Lissa Avery declare it. He just says it. fact, stereotypes. So... we Entertain- hoped. Snakes on a Plane bite to the nipple; a man Editor-in- On top of that disap- have a stereotypical rapper ment was the perfect combina- in another lavatory was Chief pointment, the movie was character that has obses- Editor tion of intentional and bitten on the groin. Ellis shocking and gross just sive-compulsive disorder. accidental humor, and knew exactly what Snakes There to be shocking and gross. See, they broke the stereo- “I’ve had director David R. Ellis (Fi- on a Plane needed, and were snakes. There was nudity and sex type. Who knew that rap- it with these MF snakes on nal Destination 2) wasn’t these scenes were a per- And they and genitalia violence with pers and thugs could have this MF plane! Everybody afraid to blur the line be- fect fi t. were on an airplane. Aside no purpose aside from disorders, too? strap in!” Special Agent tween comedy and in- Though Ellis seemed from that, there weren’t making people cringe (or And Jackson himself... Neville Flynn (Samuel L. competence. to know that SoaP would many redeeming qualities laugh, sadly enough). The The man made me sad. Jackson) shot a hole in the Most bad movies are be a bad movie, he wisely to the movie. spewing foam as a result His age showed. He moved plane’s window, creating a funny in parts, but they kept his actors in the dark. The writing and acting of snake like an high-altitude vacuum that rarely stay entertaining Many of the characters in were awful. The forceful- bites old man threatened to pull the pas- the whole time. Between Snakes on a Plane were ly-inserted racial joke be- was a bit with sengers from the plane. the plot holes and the dei written as caricatures, tween Samuel L. Jackson over the a bad Debris fl ew at the window ex machinis, there is al- from the snobby rich guy and the fl ight attendant top, too. back try- with enough force to tear ways a “buildup” scene to the megastar rapper fell fl at enough that I had It was ing des- a hole that expanded from with nothing to laugh at with OCD. A self-con- trouble recognizing it as a like they perately the original bullet hole to a simply because nothing is scious actor could easily joke at fi rst. Julianna Mar- didn’t to look six-foot-wide chasm in the happening. SoaP’s writers go over the top with a bad gulies and Nathan Phillips think spright- plane’s wall. After about avoided that problem by Will Ferrell imperson- were about the only actors they ly. His 90 seconds, the vacuum including a petty, melodra- ation, but Ellis ensured who could deliver a line at could pres- pulled the last snake from matic argument in every that the actors played all. get the ence in the plane and fl ight simu- scene. And when there their characters sincerely. The height of the hor- R rating the fi lm lation enthusiast Troy Mc- was a quiet moment, Ellis Even the seasoned Jack- ribly-delivered lines was safely came Daniel (Kenan Thompson) built the suspense with a son did his best to make the one line – the only line without it or the sex. across as another one of was able to lower the plane snake’s eye view of the next his contrived one-liners – that Jackson had to get More painful than the his attempts to do some- to an altitude with breath- victim. sound heroic. right. You know, that line snake-bites-man’s-crotch thing “cool”, like Formula able air. Snakes on a Plane also Snakes on a Plane was that was the reason ev- scene are the stereotypes 51. And I usually like Jack- That scene was the ul- featured some of Ellis’ stupid, but because of Ellis’ eryone wanted to see the in the movie. Pick a ste- son. timate topper to a hilari- trademark creative death effors, watching it was far movie? reotype about a culture There were cool mo- ously bad movie. Nobody scenes. But instead of more rewarding than just That was perhaps the or ethnicity, and it’s there. ments in the movie – like will deny that Snakes on a Final Destination’s cool, laughing at someone else’s worst delivery of the mov- Then the movie tries to be the tasering – but that’s all Plane is stupid, but we all elaborate deaths, SoaP incompetence. I would ie. In the middle of noth- clever by making people they were: moments. As a knew that before it came was loaded with juvenile recommend Snakes on a ing, dramatic music is cued look like stereotypes, then whole, Snakes was unen- out. I went in expecting joke deaths. One woman, Plane to anyone who can and Jackson states it. He switching it up excitedly by tertaining and wantonly a funny bad movie, and I while having sex in a lava- enjoy a good bad movie. doesn’t even proclaim it or showing that they aren’t, in gross. MONEY FOR COLLEGE New Super Mario Bros. Ryan Schultz the DS’s capability for real-time News Editor 3D graphics by having all major characters rendered in 3D, while The original Nintendo Enter- most background elements and tainment System (NES) heralded platforms are 2D. This is an in- a new direction for the videogame teresting effect, and, at fi rst look, industry. And, without question, is startlingly cool. the game for the venerable NES The gameplay, while predict- was Super Mario Bros. The original able, is excellent. Each level was revolutionary; it gave the gam- consists of Mario jumping from ing world its Mickey Mouse and si- platform to platform, crawling multaneously changed the course through tubes, and swimming of platform development. through water to get from start to So I suppose it’s fi tting that Nin- fi nish. And while that sounds re- NOW tendo DS, the most revolutionary petitive, there are enough good- hand-held console on the mar- ies to collect, enough enemies to ket, has what amounts to a remix bash, and enough creative ele- of the original Super Mario Bros. ments that things never get too Yes, those of you who were hop- monotonous, though some of the ing for something truly revolu- levels are perhaps a bit too short. tionary in New Super Mario Bros., Of all of the fi rst-rate aspects (NSMB) will be disappointed. of the game, the sound is one However, if all you really wanted area where things are not quite was a nostalgic platformer, you as polished. Even with a good will love this game. set of speakers, the sound still NSMB starts just as the origi- had those “I’m playing this on a nal did, with Princess Peach be- hand-held” artifacts. The new ing kidnapped by Bowser (in this soundtrack is good, if a bit incon- game, Bowser Jr. is the main bad- sistent. For the above-ground guy…his dad is his backup). It is levels, the game designers wrote your job as the fearless, heroic, new music, but the below-ground and ever-so-cute Italian plumber music and all sound effects are Because Aunt Joan needed more Botox®*. Mario to save your love from the straight from the original. If clutches of Bowser Jr.. anything, this makes the above- She got a facelift, you got the tuition bill. At your disposal is Mario’s trade- ground music seem out of place. Not to worry: a Campus Door student loan can mark jumping ability as well as the Honestly, I would have preferred cover up to 100% of your education costs, with online approval in less than a minute. standard mushroom, fi refl ower, the original music all the way All without the painful side effects. and invincibility. NSMB also in- through the game. cludes power-ups and moves In addition to the extensive from more recent Mario games, single-player mission, NSMB is like wall-jumping, triple jumping, also playable by two people via ground pound, a gigantic mush- the DS’s built-in wifi . The two- campusdoor.com room, and a turtle-shell powerup. player battles are fun enough, but Graphically, the game is trade- get old after a few minutes. The

*Botox® is a registered trademark of Allergan, Inc. mark Mario. Ever since the origi- game also includes more than nal Super Mario Bros., the Mario 20 more-fun-than-I-expected Like this poster? Download your own printable PDF version at campusdoor.com/posters world has been typifi ed by bright minigames which utilize the DS’s All loans are subject to credit approval. Programs, rates, terms and conditions are subject to change without notice. Other restrictions apply. primary colors, and this game has stylus and can be played solo or Trade/Servicemarks are the property of Campus Door Inc. and/or its affiliates. Lender is Lehman Brothers Bank, FSB. ©2006 Campus Door Inc. All Rights Reserved. Equal Opportunity Lender. them in spades. The game uses competitively. Friday, September 8, 2006 ENTERTAINMENT 5 Summer $6.50/hr Work Study Position Available Now Rose Thorn Business Manager music ~Manage important finances ~Work with billing/accts payable ~No Experience Required! rundown ~On-Campus Opportunity! Mike Jones relentless ability to continue re- ~Paid Training! Entertainment Editor Emeritus leasing good records, and Rather Ripped is no exception to the ~Flexible Hours! Before I jump into all of the trend. new records coming out this fall, Don’t expect Daydream Nation, ~Great Resumé Builder! I’d like to take a look at some of though, in any shape or form. the albums from this past sum- Rather Ripped will not blow you [email protected] mer. Two of these are from elder away (or turn you off, depending statesmen of music, while the on your taste) like that classic al- last is from a small band in com- bum. It’s more likely to make you parison. tap your feet and bob your head. Join us at the Game!!! These are great pop-rock songs. Almost every track follows a typi- cal verse/chorus pattern, and there’s very little noise involved. Help Cheer the Fighting But perhaps I’m exaggerating the gap between Sonic Youth’s Engineers to victory over other work and Rather Ripped. Thurston Moore sounds just as the Yellow Jackets! stoic as ever, and Kim Gordon still can’t sing. They’re still avoid- Thom Yorke ing the big budget sound. None The Eraser of these songs sound fit for ra- dio play, and Rather Ripped fits Being a huge Radiohead fan easily into the Sonic Youth cata- Homecoming Tent sponsored by Cummins, Inc. like many people, I was not alone logue while still having its own in my excitement when it was an- identity. Get Crank’d up nounced that Thom Yorke was Free food and beverages! releasing his own album. How- ever, it seemed odd for an artist October 7th at Cook Stadium of Yorke’s fame to announce his debut only two months before its 12:00 PM – 3:00 PM release date. Was he afraid of cre- ating too much hype for a work that he was completely aware was not up to Radiohead par? After hearing The Eraser, I think the answer is more than likely yes. I enjoyed listening to it for a few weeks, but the hard Murder by Death truth is that it’s impossible to In Bocca Al Lupo listen to a Thom Yorke album without drawing comparisons I have to admit that I have a to Radiohead’s catalogue. And bias for this band. Their last al- frankly, The Eraser sounds more bum Who Will Survive and What like “The Glooming” than “Para- Will be Left of Them? is one of noid Android”, in both genre and my all-time favorites. If you ever quality. It’s filled with various see a guy walking around with electronic loops, beeps, and syn- a Murder by Death shirt on, it’s thesizer work. This all makes for probably me. So obviously I was a pretty monotonous album, and as excited about In Bocca Al Lu- not many of the songs stick lon- po’s release as I’ve ever been for a ger then a few listens. record. The lead single “Brother” While not brilliant, The Eraser only added to my anticipation, as Lonely? does reach great heights a few it’s one of the best tracks recorded times, like “Cymbal Rush” and this year. A rockabilly beat keeps the title track. “Atoms for Peace” the song exciting as Adam Turla is the best song, and could stand tells the fictitious tale of his self- firm next to any of Radiohead’s ish brother – “I know there’s bet- You’re in luck! work. Luckily for listeners, Thom ter brothers, but you’re the only actually uses his vocal talent for one that’s mine.” The Eraser, which really does As it turns out, all of In Bocca help. I’d recommend the album, Al Lupo is about shady people but with the disclaimer that you’d committing wrongs against the Hot freshmen love better be a huge Yorke fan. innocent. In “Dynamite Mine” a man commits murder, only to have the mine collapse on him as he’s burying the body. Talk about swift retribution. The Fall of the Papa John’s Pizza. House of Usher inspired “Shiola”, the story of a man who grieves over the loss of his family. While the story arc from Who Will Survive is still present, the unabashed rocking out is not. Extra Large One Large Only once on In Bocca Al Lupo, 1234 WABASH AVE. during the forceful “Sometimes One-Topping One-Topping Sonic Youth the Line Walks You”, does the Rather Ripped band really let loose. This lack Store Hours... Mon-Wed: 9am - 1am of aggression is what ultimately Thurs-Sat: 9am - 2am Sonic Youth have released over makes In Bocca Al Lupo inferior 99 Sunday: 12pm - 12am 99 20 records. They’ve been together to Murder by Death’s previous 9Campus Only ONLY 7Campus Only since 1981. When I think of bands record. Even so, it’s an inspired at that age, horrible memories album from an inspiring band, Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required Limited Delivery Area - Coupon Required ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST ONLY ORIGINAL OR THIN CRUST ONLY of the New York Dolls reunion or and contains some of the most WHERE AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/06. WHERE AVAILABLE Expires: 5/28/06. U2’s last album come to mind. emotionally effective songs I’ve Not valid with any other offer. Valid only at Not valid with any other offer. Valid only at participating locations. Customer pays all 232-PAPA participating locations. Customer pays all However, Sonic Youth possess a heard for some time. applicable sales tax. Additional toppings applicable sales tax. Additional toppings extra. extra. 6 OPINIONS The Rose Thorn New Orleans: wet or dry? Orleans in did not warrant the ment pay for it? I don’t think so. decision to pump the city dry The government should not bail and attempt to rebuild the ru- out negligent people who let bad Here’s ined city. things happen to them. your new First of all, New Orleans should The price tag of saving the city be under water to begin with. this time around has already opinion Most of the city is below sea level, been too high, with costs for the and the city itself is surrounded total Gulf Coast reconstruction by water: Lake Pontchartrain in approaching and projected to the north, the Mississippi River surpass that of the 1994 North- Aaron Meles to the south, and Lake Borgne ridge earthquake in California, Opinions Editor to the east. The only thing hold- the most expensive disaster in New Orleans: the birthplace of ing these three teeming bodies of U.S. history before Katrina, which jazz, the home of Cajun food, and water at bay are a system of dikes, cost nearly $7 billion. the what should be the future levees, and pumps that keep the And this is just the fi rst itera- location of the Lake Pontchar- city from fl ooding, much like tion. train Marina and Yacht Club’s pushing a bowl right side up into Every taxpayer will be shoul- A through F docks. On the one the bathtub so that the water dering the cost of the reconstruc- year anniversary of Hurricane just meets the bowl’s edge while tion every time this level of dev- Katrina’s devastating impact on keeping the inside dry. astation happens, and seeing as the Gulf Coast, we fi nd New Or- Seeing as how the only thing http://bbsnews.net/bbsn_photos/hurricane_katrina we are seemingly in the middle of leans less than halfway rebuilt, keeping New Orleans from be- A broken levee in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. a trend in which hurricanes are still below sea level (though dry, coming Lake New Orleans was a increasing in quantity and feroc- at least), and costing the nation system of man-made structures, surrounding them, they must ac- ous: why should taxpayers across ity each year, another decimation several billion dollars more than a catastrophic fl ood was inevi- knowledge, like everyone living the entire nation be responsible of the city may come sooner than it rightfully should. table, be it from a natural disas- on the east coast and the Gulf of for replacing the homes of peo- you think. Each time a new hur- Do not misconstrue my point. ter or simple human negligence. Mexico, that it’s not a question of ple who decided to live in an ricane threatens the area, New Hurricane Katrina was a terrible Despite the current efforts to re- if a hurricane will hit their homes, area that was undoubtedly go- Orleans will be at risk for another disaster and one of the most build the system, failure will hap- but when. ing to get hit by hurricanes every catastrophic fl ood, regardless tragic events with regards to pen again, taking life and prop- Led by Mayor Ray Nagin, New year? This winter, if I park my of how well they think they are loss of life and property to hap- erty with it. Orleans continues to cry out car underneath a large sheet of prepared. How many billions of pen on American soil in recent Even if the citizens of New Or- for federal aid to rebuild their ice hanging off my roof and the dollars and human lives will New history. However, the state it leans refuse to accept the fallibil- homes and places of business. car gets crushed when the ice Orleans destroy before we realize left the infrastructure of New ity of the manmade structures This entire concept is preposter- falls off, will the federal govern- that it’s a lost cause? Letter to the Editor The meat you eat As a professor of Physics and In addition, Pluto’s orbit is actu- Mars and Jupiter where a planet TIffany Parrott of them are remain completely director of the Oakley Observa- ally gravitationally controlled by had been predicted to exist. Staff Writer conscious throughout this whole tory, I am very surprised by the Neptune. Pluto orbits the Sun This prediction, based on some- endeavor, because the electricity emotional, negative response that twice for every three orbits of thing known as the Titius-Bode Approximately twenty-seven from the shock is set to a mini- many students have expressed to Neptune. This complicated mo- rule, had even less scientifi c merit billion animals are slaughtered to mum in order to reduce the farm- me regarding Pluto being demot- tion keeps Pluto from ever com- than the calculations predicting feed the United States each year. er’s fi nancial expenses. ed from planetary status. This is- ing too close to a planet be- These animals don’t live happily While there is animal cruelty sue is purely scientifi c in nature Neptune. This yond Neptune, on old McDonald’s farm; they protection for cats and dogs, there and should be treated logically, fact is never but when the never feel soil under their feet, is little for farming animals. It is not emotionally. mentioned by discovery of breath fresh air, and rarely see known that pigs and chickens are First, defi ning and categorizing the Pluto sup- Ceres was an- daylight. of equal natural objects is a useful scien- porters. nounced it was Because or greater tifi c activity. It helps scientists to So how immediately American intel- understand phenomena and to could such a hailed as the farming ligence communicate with each other. small object missing plan- corpora- than our The IAU is the appropriate orga- have been et. Ceres was tions are beloved nization to defi ne what is meant, called a plan- demoted from mostly pets, yet scientifi cally, by a planet. The IAU et in the fi rst planetary sta- con- they re- defi nition is based on purely logi- place? In 1930, tus when other cerned ceive cal criteria involving gravitational Pluto’s dis- objects of sim- with prof- nowhere interactions. First, a planet must coverer, Clyde ilar size were it, they near the be massive enough that its own Tombaugh, soon discov- cram ani- love. www.pbase.com/paul_teixeira gravity determines its shape (near- was searching ered in similar mals into Huge chicken farms like this house chickens Aware- the small- ness of ly spherical). Second, a planet can for a planet space.cweb.nl/planet_news.html orbits. No one so closely together that they can hardly turn est space animal not be gravitationally bound to based on cal- In a recent defi nition released by had time to around. any object, other than the Sun. culations that the International Astronomical form emotion- possible, cruelty is This excludes natural satellites of predicted a Union, Pluto, seen here with its al attachments give the most meager servings of the main factor behind 5.7 mil- planets such as our own moon or planet beyond moon Charon, is no longer consid- to Ceres as a tampered food and little water. lion American’s choice to become the large moons of Jupiter, Saturn Neptune. ered a planet. planet. Hormones and antibiotics are a vegetarian (U.S. Census 2000). and Neptune. Finally, a planet When he And that is given to animals so they can grow And in addition to personal or must be by far the most massive found a moving object in ap- really the crux of the emotional large quickly and live in condi- moral satisfaction, vegetarians object at its distance from the proximately the right place, he argument for continuing to call tions that would normally extin- enjoy healthier hearts and longer Sun so that it gravitationally con- naturally assumed he had found Pluto a planet. It was nearly 70 guish the animals. For example, lives than their fellow omnivores. trols the region of space around the predicted planet. He was also years between the discovering chickens’ and turkeys’ hearts Humans, dogs, cats, pigs, cows, it. This means that planets have mislead about the size of Pluto. of Pluto and the beginning of the grow so large from the hormones sheep, and the rest of the animal either gravitationally attracted or He had no way of precisely deter- discovery of other objects with that their chests often become kingdom can all distinguish be- expelled other mining the mass similar size and similar orbits. top-heavy and cause them to be- tween pleasure and pain; when large objects with of the object he But just because we have gotten come crippled. they suffer, they scream too. similar orbits. Ask the staff... saw but he could used to having nine planets, and After being grown for mere For non-veggies, there are oth- Pluto fails to about Pluto’s estimate its mass have formed a fondness for Pluto, months, farm animals such as er options to help reduce animal meet this last based on how that is no reason for ignoring the pigs, sheep, cows, and chickens cruelty. Whole foods markets sell criteria. Pluto is reclassifi cation bright it ap- basic science which the IAU has are sent to the slaughterhouse. organic meat, eggs from free- simply not mas- peared. We now correctly addressed. They suffer inevitable cruel deaths range chickens, and organic milk. “At least we have a defi nition sive enough to know that Pluto Demoting Pluto from plan- of electric shock or sliced throats. The meats sold at these stores are of a planet.” gravitationally is brighter than etary status in no way diminishes Then, pigs, turkeys, and chickens not saturated with harmful hor- control its re- -Ryan Schultz, News Editor its mass would Clyde Tombaugh’s accomplish- are tied upside-down at the feet mones, but come from animals gion of space as indicate because ment. It took 70 years and the and dropped into scalding water who are grown naturally and not the eight defi ned “I don’t see what the big deal it is actually two development of much more pow- to remove hair or feathers. Many abused. planets do. If you is. It’s not like Pluto isn’t there objects: Pluto erful telescopes and more sensi- look up the mass anymore.” and its moon tive detectors for astronomers to of Pluto you will -Mike Jones, Entertainment Charon. duplicate his feat. Astronomers, see just how dif- Editor Emeritus Tombaugh who have sat at a telescope for ferent Pluto is could not resolve hours on end while guiding an Have an opinion but afraid from the defi ned “Here’s an alternative the two separate exposure, know and appreciate planets. Pluto’s mnemonic: objects. better than anyone what a re- mass is less than My Very Energetic Mother Just There is his- markable man Clyde Tombaugh of commitment? 1/25 th the mass Said Uh-oh... No Pluto!” torical prece- was. His work will not be forgot- of the smallest -Mike Ferguson, Sports Editor dence for de- ten by science. Write a letter to the editor! planet, Mercury. moting an object In fact, Pluto’s mass is less than from planetary status. In 1801, Richard Ditteon [email protected] the mass of seven of the moons of Giuseppe Piazzi discovered Ce- Professor of Physics and Optical planets including our own moon. res. Ceres is in an orbit between Engineering Friday, September 8, 2006 SPORTS 7 Sports Briefs Fall Sports at a Glance by Mike Ferguson Bob Prescott Sanchez Tosses Gem StaffWriter Rookie Anibal Sanchez of the Florida Marlins threw a no-hit- The 2006-07 Athletic Year school records with a 1.17 goals many as an exchange student. Recreation Center beginning ter in the Marlins’ 2-0 win over quickly became a year of new. against average, 11 victories, 72 Junior Jenn Gordon returns af- with Earlham College at 6 p.m. the Arizona Diamondbacks. A new conference as Rose joins saves and .774 save average last ter a record setting 2005 season and Wilmington College at 8 p.m. Sanchez threw 103 pitches and the Heartland Collegiate Ath- season, leads a slew of 10 return- with 14 assists setting the Rose- on Friday. On Saturday, the En- struck out six batters on his way letic Conference, a new football ing starters from a team that won Hulman single-season record. gineers battle Centre College at to his seventh victory of the coach as Offensive Coordinator a school record 12 games last sea- Other key starters include: senior 10 a.m. and Principia College at year. Steve Englehart is promoted to son. Senior Yaw Aning, a three- four-year starter Ashley Bernal, noon. head football coach, making him time all-league honoree, leads junior three-year starter Meagan the second youngest head foot- the defensive effort with a host Gallagher, junior Meggy McGaf- Men’s Cross Country Wie struggles in Masters ball coach in the NCAA, and a of four-year starters including se- figan, and sophomore Morgan The men’s cross country team Sixteen-year-old golf phenom new women’s basketball and golf niors Chris Banner, Eric Hoiland, Coan. returns a few key runners led by Michelle Wie struggled in her coach as Jon Prevo is promoted and Ray Throop. Seniors Erik Juniors Julie senior Charles debut at the European Masters, to Head Women’s Basketball and Babcock and Billy Whitehouse Roebel and Sarah Williams who shooting a 7-over-par 78. Wie Golf coach. round out the defensive/midfield Graber lead the won all-region ended up twelve shots over the attack. offensive side of honors last sea- leader but did beat one of her Football The dynamic duo of senior Da- the ball after son, and ended playing partners at the end of In football, Rose-Hulman re- vid McIlwaine and junior Matt finishing with the year with a the first round. turns a few key starters includ- Trowbridge combined for 46 13 goals each in 25:54 eight-ki- ing senior quarterback Cameron points and 19 goals last season 2005. After bat- lometer time at Notre Dame comes back Hummel, a four year starter who to lead the historic Rose-Hulman tling injuries last the NCAA meet. in victory ranks fifth on Rose’s career list offense. Sophomore Trevor Mill- season, sopho- He is joined by Notre Dame beat the Georga for passing yards (3,446) and er returns to the Engineer lineup more Jen Lyman junior Matt Rep- Tech last Saturday by a score completions (305), junior receiv- after a solid freshman effort with has returned to king, who placed of 14-10. Despite Georga Tech’s er Ryan Robinson who will lead four goals and five assists in 16 full health and third in the 2006 burst of first-half offense, the a young receiving corps, and a games. will be a big part opening meet at Irish scored a touchdown late strong offensive line led by four- Rose-Hulman began the sea- of the Engineer Franklin College in the second quarter and again year starter Tim Hachfeld. son 1-0-1 with a 2-1 victory over offense this sea- Ken Meyer / Rose Thorn where Rose-Hul- A Rose soccer player charges in the third to put them on top. On the defensive side of the Blackburn College and a 1-1 tie son. man finished down the field. Georga Tech plays Samford this ball, sophomore Paul Spreen against Greenville College in the R o s e - H u l - second this last Saturday while Notre Dame makes the switch from lineback- first annual Rose-Hulman Invi- man began the weekend. lines up against Penn State. er to defensive end after earning tational last weekend. The En- season with a 4-0 victory over first-team all-league honors last gineers begin a packed week as Greenville College and a 3-1 win Women’s Cross Country year, and senior Adam Helm- they square off against Wabash over Blackburn College this last The women’s cross country Mulder to have surgery erich enters his third year as a College at the IM Fields at 7 p.m. weekend in the Rose-Hulman In- team returns all-conference hon- St. Louis Cardinals starting starter on the defensive line. Se- on Wednesday and Earlham Col- vitational. Sophomore transfer oree junior Rachel Krasich who pitcher Mark Mulder will un- nior linebacker Tim Wilson, who lege at Jim Rendel Field at 2 p.m. from Northwestern University Liz set a school record 19:30 five-ki- dergo arthroscopic surgery next earned team Defensive Player on Saturday, and Wittenburg Col- Ridgway led the Engineer offense lometer time last weekend in the week in order to repair his dam- of the Year honors in 2005, lead lege at Jim Rendel Field at 2 p.m. with four goals and an assist, and Franklin Invitational earning the aged rotator cuff. Mulder missed a powerful group of linebackers on Sunday. looks to be a key part of the Engi- individual title and helping pro- two months earlier this season featuring three year starter junior neer offense this season. pel her team to Rose-Hulman’s due to injuries in his rotator Steve Hawkins and junior Austin Women’s Soccer The Engineers rose to 2-0 and first women’s cross country meet cuff. Mulder is 6-7 with a 7.14 Hastings, while senior Mike Alto The 2006 women’s soccer return to action this weekend win since 2003 and only second ERA for the Cardinals this year. will lead the defensive backs this team enters this season with ex- against Earlham College on Sat- of all time. She is joined by se- season. pectations to compete for the urday and Wittenburg College on nior Mandy Hecker, who placed Rays break 14 game skid Rose-Hulman football led off conference championship. The Sunday, both games at noon at second in the meet with a time The Tampa Bay Devil Rays broke the season with Engineers were Jim Rendel Field. of 20:02 and landing third on the out of a fourteen-game losing a 24-17 win over selected third in Rose all-time list. streak with their win over the Earlham College the HCAC pre- Volleyball The men’s and women’s cross Minnesota Twins on Wednesday last Saturday season coaches The Rose volleyball team country teams return to action night. The Devil Rays took the evening. poll, only to brings a young team to the new in the Indiana Intercollegiate game by a score of 4-2. The Devil F r e s h m a n defending con- conference with three juniors, Meet next Friday the 15th, at the Rays starts a series with Oakland q u a r t e r b a c k ference tourna- four sophomores and six fresh- Bird-Gibson course, here in Terre and Minnesota starts a weekend Derek Eitel re- ment champion men, with not a single senior. Haute at 2 p.m. series with Detroit today. ceived the start Mount St. Joseph Sophomore Brandi Sturgill re- over an injured and defending turns to the lineup after record- Hummel and regular season ing 1,173 assists, 319 digs and led a balanced champion Tran- 64 service aces in her freshman MARKS PAR THREE offensive attack sylvania, who campaign. Sophomore Sarah 2401 N. Chamberlain St. with the Engi- also won the Messmer joins Sturgill after hav- (812) 877 - 1467 neers totaling 2004 league title. ing a solid freshman year with at 130 rushing Junior goal- 358 kills, 211 digs and 66 blocks. AUTUMN SPECIAL yards and 134 keeper Rachel Juniors Amanda Fellows and passing yards. Miller returns to Katie Tharp will control the $5 greens fees with student ID The Engineers the net for the right side of the Engineer attack. begin the sea- Engineers after “Amanda and Katie are extremely 9 or 18 holes son at 1-0 and recording 1.21 versatile and give us a number of Offer good only on weekdays host Mount St. Rose Hulman News goals against options on the attack,” said Engi- 1/2 Mile North of Glen Stoplight on US 40 Joseph on Satur- Derek Eitel finished 13-23 for average with 65 neer coach Brenda Goble. day at 6 p.m. at 134 yards, including a 40-yard saves and a .802 The Engineers dropped to 0-4 Cook Stadium. pass. save percentage after losses in the Illinois Col- last year. Senior lege Tournament this last week- ROBINSON RENTAL Men’s Soccer Kathleen Stynes returns to the end. Rose returns to action this In men’s soccer, junior goal- Engineers after spending the weekend in the Rose-Hulman keeper Trey Buck, after setting 2005-06 academic year in Ger- Invitational in the Sports and PROPERTIES 674 Oak Street Terre Haute, IN 47807 THBCo. Brewhaus Openhaus (812) 235-9353 Friday Nights (Open House) Public Welcome Late Summer Specials on 3 Free Beer tasting 5-7pm (Carryout available) Sept 15- Mark cook and blues Tour our brewry/banquet facility Sept 22- See you at the TH Street Fair and 4 bedroom apartments! Open Stage 6-8pm (bring your instrument) Sept 29 - Shoes & Strings Now Leasing! BANDS 8:30pm - Midnight ($4 cover after 7:30pm) Apartments include off Sept 8: Twin Cats - Indy funk/rock/jazz street parking and laundry 5 - piece jazz/funk band based out of Indianapolis facilities. and Nuvos best of 2005. A smooth blend of funk, jam, jazz and imported rhythms. Recognized for their spontaneous jams and funky grooves. THBCO Brewhaus 401 - 03 S. 9th St. Call Today!! DONT MISS THIS PERFORMANCE (812) 234 - 2800 www.cvbeer.com We are just a 10 minute drive from Rose-Hulman. Volume 42, Issue 1 Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Friday, September 8, 2006

This Day in History In 1966, Star Trek premieres, preventing the impending takeover of Earth by the evil Vulcan empire. When their attack forces landed, they were met with gentle scorn instead of desperate fear.

In Addition I would respectfully request that you stop undermining my every act. It becomes annoying when I attempt even the simplest tasks and you are there, under my feet, constantly plotting to make me fail.

Good news: gas pumps not taking over Hurray for school spirit! Wacky Prof Quotes Philip Becker job; you don’t have to be rude!” James Zhou existence on campus! Outra- “Let’s get rid of Matt Boutell!” Staff Writer I could have explained to her Staff Writer geous! How did they expect us -- Prof. Boutell, having an my fear of mechanical take-over, to socialize like normal human identity crisis The other day, I was setting a or I could have said I was taken The reason I came to Rose-Hul- beings without the existence of new high score in the “wait until aback by the intercom. I choose man was for its legendary school spirit? Needless to say, my grad- “They keep telling us this the last second to fill up on gas” to just pretend like it wasn’t me, spirit. Ah, yes; Rose’s great frater- uating class were empty shells of ethics crap is really game, and I was going to go in- since I’m pretty sure I didn’t do nities, easy-going professors, and human beings. Except for me, of important.” side. So I lifted the hose from the anything wrong. friendly students are all fueled course; I am great. -- Prof. House, getting his pump and patiently waited for In retrospect, I think that just by a healthy dose of the rose and Well, we at the great Rose- priorities straight the intercom to announce that painted me as 10 times the jerk white. Hulman Institute of Technology my pump was ready for fill-up. I was. My friend (who was there My old school suffered greatly have something to celebrate, “Has anybody ever written That announcement never through whole fiasco) told me, “So from a lack of a school spirit. All for even our own president has ‘Hautian’ in 1337?” came... because the pump spoke you were the jerk they said was the students declared his love -- Prof. Clifton, being to me. being rude on the intercom…” walked deject- Friendly students of school spirit, multilingual It said, “Cash or credit,” which And all I wanted to do was save edly from class and that same took me aback. Not because I a few cents on gas. to class, drown- are all fueled by spirit permeates “No, we don’t have zeros in had never been asked the ques- ing themselves a healthy dose through out our Germany.” tion before, but the pump was in SATs rather campus. No lon- -- Prof. Wollowski, on the speaking to me. That’s a novelty then the much of the rose and ger will we have perils of German math reserved only for Disneyland and preferred spirit. to hide our spirit the future! I wasn’t ready for ma- In fact, by my white. from the authori- “If you sit down an memorize chines to conquer this planet I senior year I ties. Heck, they these things, I’ll hit you.” call home and subdue me! was so frantic for a shot of school will even express boundless -- Prof. Mellor, using So I said that only thing that spirit, I scoured the school re- quantities of spirit to us! Of violence to teach made sense: “What?” cords in an attempt to distill a course as you all know, men’s The pump replied, “Will you be source for that rich flavor I so rush begins this week. I fully “And you guys are paying with cash or credit?” This, desperately desire. expect to enjoy the vibrant dis- engineering students, so despite relieving my fears, still baf- To my dismay, I discovered that plays of school spirit through you guys can get away fled me, as I’d never seen an inter- not only did the administration out the dorms. with murder!” com built into the pump before. do nothing to encourage school So heads up and chug down -- Prof. Mech, who’s So I again said what made sense: Ken Meyer / Rose Thorn spirit; they outright banned its that school spirit! obviously never gone up “I will be paying with credit.” Training in elementary planar against a really good DA When I get inside, a lady in the dynamics proves invaluable for Top ten ways to love your grader back leaned down from her lad- today’s college soccer teams. Fred Webber “It is a massless rod. That’s der to say, “She’s just doing her Staff Writer right, a non-Catholic rod.” -- Prof. Stienstra, on Inside the Rose Thorn 10.Staple creatively! Put pages upside down, bottom-side up, and religious engineering James Zhou even at different angles to each other. Even better: be free- Staff Writer form and use no staple at all! “This is not a good time for 9. Copy down the answers, and only the answers. Your grader won’t Spain - if you’re playing Ventures acquires new ultra-high-power tank have to sift through all your work to find how you got to them. Risk, they lose the entire Galen Duren refuses to comment on the status of his joint project. 8. Graders love the environment! Do your part by writing as small as continent of South Page 9 possible. If you have mastered the art of writing a book’s worth America, which is what, on a grain of rice, do this with your homework for extra credit. three extra armies per War breaks out in the Middle East 7. Absolutely never highlight or box your answers. This disrupts the turn?” Our foreign correspondent reports: “I have noticed nothing dif- natural flow of the paper. -- Prof. Minster, who’s got a ferent” over the roar of AK’s. 6. If you forget part of a problem, don’t worry. Feel free to put it in lot of little cannon pieces Page 47 any random spot, even on the back of the third page, when no other pages have stuff on the back. “I used to hate Maple, but What the hell is an interrobang‽ 5. If you turn in your paper late, your grader will understand if you now I just dislike it.” Inglish professaurs puzzlerized and frightend scared. tell him you asked Hertz to turn it in, but (circle one): -- Prof. McMurdy, coming Page F a) he lost it b) he forgot it c) his pet gerbils ate it. around 4. Number your problems in something other than Arabic Formula for happiness discovered!

numerals. Especially exotic are Japanese, Greek, and Egyptian “It’s God the machinist... C17H19NO3 is all you’ll ever need. heiroglyphics. probably union.” Page 21 3. Do all your calculations in base π. -- Prof. Minster, on the 2. Booby-trap your paper. Graders will feel like Indiana Jones as they ultimate closed shop Chemical engineers found to suffer chemical imbalances avoid traps such as staples sticking through the top, Icy Hot, Our interviewee screamed “I can’t solve my problem!” before tarantulas, and even silver nitrate, if you can find a way. Send your prof quotes breaking down and demanding a hug. 1. Decorate your paper to let your grader know what you snacked on or other humor material Page 404 recently. Pizza grease, part of your 1024 oz Mountain Dew, and to fl[email protected] bubble gum all make an assignment look more loved. Rose-Hulman students disappear into Woods Woods-dwellers deny any knowledge, return to on-going discus- Are you funny? Are you at least clever? sion about the artistic merits of bone arrangement as related to the Are you entertaining, even in a sad way? late works of unknown French philosopher. Page IIX Contribute to the Flipside! Email fl[email protected].

The Little Line o’ Litigious Lard: The content of the Flipside is intended to be purely humorous, and it does not represent the opinions of the Rose Thorn or Rose-Hulman Institute of Technology. It doesn’t represent anybody’s opinions. Technically, 1337 isn’t a language, it’s a cipher, or (I suppose) an alternate alphabet. Facts in “This Day in History” courtesy of historychannel.com. All material is copyright of its owner. Any unattributed material was created by Gregory Weir.