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Farting Fish Not Just Hot Air Undergraduate Society Is Responsi­ by Carrie Robinson Ble

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Farting Fish Not Just Hot Air Undergraduate Society Is Responsi­ by Carrie Robinson Ble www.ubyssey.bc.ca Tuesday, March 30, 2004 Volume 85 Issue 48 \ &• *>^ 5t''?** •* •<•• *sj >-:«ri;l Are you ready to laugh?! since 1918 I . »-._£ No machines, no money The AMS hasn't got its revenues from Smart Media—its questionable it ever will anteed $ 10,000 a month in revenue she asked for a of a collection agency or legal $245,000. The two-year contract by Megan Thomas to the AMS has been expected since response from action, but no decision has been also includes a clause that guaran­ •_ NEWS EDITOR January. But neither the machines the company made as to what the course of tees the AMS $120,000 a year nor the money have materialised, by March 19, action will be, said AMS General regardless of the how much money Those who were looking forward to said Stacey Chiu, VP Finance for but has heard Manager Bernie Peets. the machines make. the flashy coupon and cash dispens­ theAMS. nothing. "Those are things that are Chiu said the expected revenues ing machines the Alma Mater "Nothing still has happened at Now, the options, but it all depends on their were budgeted into a rainy day fund Society (AMS) signed on for in this point. We have received no AMS is sending response to our letter,* he said. by Duong and were not being count­ exchange for large amounts pf cash money,* she said. "We are really dis­ a registered let­ "Until such time as they don't ed on to pay AMS bills. may have to wait indefinitely. appointed in tbe lack of response." ter, as stipulat­ respond to the letter, there is noth­ Smart Media ETMs have been at Ibe Smart Media Group electron­ When Chiu took over from last ed in the con­ SMART MEDIA ing we can do." the University of Western Ontario MACHINE ic transfer machines (ETM), com­ year's VP Finance Brian Duong ear­ tract, and The AMS council voted in August (UWO) since last year. For a charge plete with audio and plasma screen ner this month, she said she sent a Smart Media will have 30 days to to bring the ETMs to the SUB. At the of $1.50, students can withdraw advertising, have been expected in letter to Smart Media asking about reply. If no response is received, time Smart Media estimated the the SUB since September. The guar­ the state of the agreement She said the AMS may have to go the lengths annual revenue for the AMS to be See "Smart Media"on page 2. Brought to you by the letter E Farting fish not just hot air Undergraduate Society is responsi­ by Carrie Robinson ble. But he said that he cannot NEWS STAFF be sure. However lighthearted this activity * \* You may have noticed the letter E may seem, it is "demoralising* and *-'*• • "i ' mysteriously missing from certain "overwhelming" to people like David i signs around campus recently. Grigg from UBC Campus and i Walter Gage Residence currently . Community Planning. It can become reads, "Walt r Gag R sid nc , 5959 very expensive to consistently replace - la Stud nt Union Blvd' and Totem single letters on a sign, be said. Park Residence is missing the letter "You've got ta have [the letters] M as well-"Tot Park R sid nc, 2 52 5 custom made exactly the same font, * JV WstMall." colour and size completely,* said The Ubyssey had its suspicions Grigg. He added that replacement of about who was taking the Es and a single letter can easily cost up to .? approached an anonymous UBC $1000. engineering student, who agreed to Since there are 12 letters missing an interview. between the two signs, including The engineers have "just a little Totem's M, that could add up to about bit" of a history of playing pranks, $12,000. he said. "There is so much more we can do He also gave the example of Skulk with that money,* said Grigg. U Night, something be says has been In addition to the expense, Grigg's happening at UBC for quite some concerns stretch to the effort it takes f time. He described the event as UBC to replace the letters. The stealing of engineers having a competition to the letters means staff have to take steal as many Es as they can in one time to organise someone to go night The Engineers Undergraduate replace them, he said. Society hosts the event, which takes But stealing letters off signs is a place during E-week in February, he tradition on other campuses as well, added. added Grigg. _ "The engineers get points for The engineering student said he every E, among other things, that was not aware of any problems steal­ * _, they steal on that night,* be said, ing the letters could cause. When told WHAT DID THEY SAY? Ben Wilson listens to unique herring communications, MICHELLE MAYNE PHOTO adding that whoever gets the most Es about the expense, he said that the at the end of the night wins a prize. engineers will continue to take part by Eric Szeto Wilson explained. Fred Fotis, the director of housing in this event "to cause a ruckus. NEWSWRITER "First of all I thought it was a THISJSSU at UBC, is aware of the missing Es "There is not much sense in it practical joke,* he added. "I thought and said be has an idea that an otherwise,* he said. • The term 'to float an air biscuit' got someone else was making these —% new meaning when a UBC biologist sounds, because they sounded like discovered very unusual sounds farts." r *- being emitted from the amuses of his The following day be decided to herrings. test the joke hypothesis by sitting in ,Va • It was a fart, alright, and it hap­ the lab by himself for a whole night •'•If pens pretty regularly in herring pop­ in the dark with the fish removed ulations, according to Ben Wilson. from the tank. Signs point to the burst pulses being "I thought to myself, 'Who would 1 FEATURE: UBC students used as a way the fish communicate. sit up at three in the morning night in the Downtown Eastside Its discovery was unintentional, after night playing this practical joke The Learning Exchange helps said Wilson. on me?" said Wilson. a WAljr RGAG a students help others in the inner He was testing to see the her­ He thought it might have been city. Pages 6-7. ring's responses to sounds that his equipment so he took the fish R SID NC mimic their prey, when something out and sat there all night in the SPORTS: Take that, Berkeley made a sound back. : dark. There was nothing. 5961 - 5959 STUD NTUNI0N8LVD UBC rugby takes home World Twas sitting there at two in the So scientific reason triumphed: . Cup trophy. Page 8. morning in pitch darkness playing "I put the fish in and I heard the with sounds and these other sounds sound. If I took the fish out I didn't* [email protected] liilii -- f--^H^nfflirf started appearing—they were com­ WWW.UBYSSEY.BC.CA ing through on my headphones," See"Fish"onpage2. r WHERE DEM E'S? Mysterious disappearances, MICHELLE MAYNE PHOTO TUESDAY, MARCH 30, 2004 NEWS THE UBYSSEY caaemiG services ervices Smart Media has 30 days to respond CUSTOM ESSAY WRITING - Essay STRESSED ABOUT SCHOOL? OR research help! Professional writers LIFE IN GENERAL? Want someone to available at www.essayexperts.ca talk to? AMS Speakeasy provides "Smart Media" from page 1. But Osborne said he has been in CLASSIFIEDS 6048731688 information and confidential peer touch with Smart Media and has a support/referrals. Staffed by trained WORD PROCESSING AND guarantee, that all the bills will be DICTAPHONE TRANSCRIPTION volunteers, it provides confidential peer cash and receive coupons that corre­ services for students and instructors. support to UBC students. Visit us on the spond with the advertising dis­ squared away in April. Thesis (APA), term papers and tape SUB main concourse. Support line: 604- played on the machine. "They met the requirements as interviews. Editing and proofing of 822-3700, info 604-822-3777. Email UBC FOOD COOP. FAIR TRADE & existing papers. Call Diane at 465-5524 speakreferralsg'ams.ubc.ca. But the UWO Students' Council far as the machines. They just ORGANIC FOOD FOR THE or email drkalykg'shaw.ca has had its share of problems with haven't paid their bills," he said. STUDENT BUDGET. Open 12-2PM FRENCH TyTOR qualified teacher. Smart Media, said Mark Osborne, "That is the big issue." weekdays in the SUB basement near the isceiianeous Call Josee 604.710.5096 assistant manager of the Students' • He also said the machines at Wellness Centre and Travelcuts. WITNESS TO ACCIDENT ON BUS DO YOU NEED A MATH TUTOR? #99. IS THIS YOU? Leaving UBC week Council. UWO axe not getting a lbt of interest BOTANY FUNDRAISER: Beverages Patient Math tutor with MSc and 6 years of September 11 or 18,2003 (eidier Tues "We have had some issues with from students. So far, they have not and Cheese, Plant saie and special tutoring experience. Small groups or Thurs) between 9-9:30pm. Elder generated more revenue than what screening of 'Litde Shop of Horrors'! welcome. $30/hour. Satisfection Woman (UBC Student) thrown into Smart Media as well in terms of April 6. BioSd 2000. Advance Tix $10 guaranteed! Call Dan _ (604) 742-1723. female student's lap by bus making hard their management/ he said. "They is guaranteed to the Students' student, $15 other, available in Botany turn.
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