Winner of Mirror/NUS Student Newspaper of the Year 2005 Summer Term Week Ten Tuesday 27th June 06 www.nouse.co.uk NOUSE Estd 1964 Woodstock 2006 Report, review and photos of the festival finale to the year Page 3 York’s ecological crisis

£600,000 33% Rise in energy Student share of costs over one total carbon year emissions

25,000 tonnes £5 million University’s carbon Total energy costs emissions in a year in four years if situation continues

By Heidi Blake that total energy costs will reach nearly 30 million kWh, while gas tract comes to an end, whilst gas in energy-intensive research. They DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR £4.9 million, representing a 53% usage rose to almost 65 million prices have increased by 56% in are also linked to the increasing increase on the expenditure for kWh. The resulting C02 emissions 2004/5, with a further estimated global demand for energy. The OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS 2005/6 which has contributed to a mounted to over 21,000 tonnes. increase of 18% in 2005/6. University’s Carbon Management acquired by Nouse have revealed budget deficit of £3 million. This During 2005/6, emissions have According to the University’s Implementation Plan aims to limit rocketing energy costs at the trend is described as “especially increased again by more than 13%, energy conservation officer, Heike cost increases to £3.8 million by University, as a result of increased worrying in view of the enough to fill 200,000 balloons to Singleton, these cost increases are 2009/10, but if the current situa- consumption and global rises in University’s plans for expansion”. 5 metres in diameter. the result of increased consump- tion continues costs would reach price. The economic forecast for During 2004/5, electricity Electricity prices are also set tion due to campus expansion, £5 million by that year. the next academic year predicts usage at the University rose to to double when the current con- building developments and a rise Indepth report, pages 4 and 5 Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 2 News Snappy Snaps 27th June 2006 World’s richest man donates $14m to aid University Malaria research By Heidi Blake every thirty seconds in DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR Africa, and up to half a bil- lion courses of ACT may be THE WORLD’S richest man, needed to combat it. The aim Bill Gates, has granted $13.6 of CNAP’s research into new million to the Biology Artemisia annua varieties is Department at the to produce enough University of York to fund Artemisinin to satisfy this the completion of their growing demand. Crucially, research into better and the research also aims to cheaper treatments for reduce to costs of producing Malaria. the drug. The grant from the Bill CNAP will use the grant and Melinda Gates money to recruit over 30 Foundation, which covers a researchers and technicians, four-and-a-half year period, who will use a fast-track will fund research by the breeding method which Centre for Novel excludes GM technology, to Agricultural Products develop new varieties of (CNAP) on the medicinal Artemisia annua which will plant Artemisia annua which produce up to ten times as could alleviate the global much of the drug as normal shortage of effective treat- varieties. ments for Malaria; a disease CNAP director which kills more than one Professor Diana Bowles said: million people each year. “This work could lead direct- The Centre, part of the ly to making an effective cure Biology Department at the for malaria cheaper and University, has been working more accessible for people on a fast-track breeding who need it most. We appre- Bill Gates last week announced plans to step down from Microsoft to spend more time on his charitable work research programme for ciate the support of the Gates Artemisia annua, which is Foundation in enabling us to lives in Africa”. currently the sole source of undertake this work.” University’s Vice- the leading anti-malarial CNAP deputy director, Chancellor, Professor Brian Halifax College objects drug, Artemisinin. Professor Ian Graham, said: Cantor, said: "This is a very The goal of the research “The potential is there to significant grant for the is to create a non-GM variety save millions of lives. It is a Department of Biology and of the plant with vastly very sobering thought. We is an indication of the all- to First Bus treatment increased yields of feel a huge responsibility in round excellence of research Artemisinin for use in taking on this project.” here at the University of By Daniel Whitehead not working, many students mals”. Artemisinin Combination This grant is among the York. It will help scientists in NEWS EDITOR attempted to tell the “pilot”, Second year Halifax stu- Therapies (ACTs), which the first major moves by Bill CNAP make significant but he ignored them and dent, Charlotta Salmi, one of World Health Organisation Gates since his announce- progress in increasing the MEMBERS OF Halifax closed the bus doors, trap- the several passengers have identified as the most ment last week that he is supply of effective cures for a College HCSA have sent a ping a student between involved in the incident, effective treatment for stepping down from the run- disease that affects so many complaint to First Buses them. accused officials of being malaria. ning of Microsoft to concen- people across the world." after they were accused of With many students still “very rude”, and said “It was- In recent years, as the trate on his charitable work. The project plans to behaving like “animals” by queuing outside the bus they n’t like we were acting like malaria parasite has devel- Dr Regina Rabinovich, field-trial the new varieties officials after a recent inci- attempted to get onboard by drunkards, in fact everyone oped resistance to traditional the Gates Foundation’s direc- of Artemisinin annua in dent on York’s pioneering pressing the emergency but- was seated in an orderly single-drug treatments such tor of infectious diseases, areas of the developing world FTR buses. ton on the front of the doors. fashion”. as Chloroquine, demand for said: “This promising where malaria is endemic, The incident occurred This led to FTR security man Since the confrontation, ACTs has increased dramati- research compliments other and work with major manu- on Wednesday 31 May as stu- Mark Turbridge being Halifax HCSA President, cally, resulting in a chronic important initiatives work- facturers of ACTs to ensure dents were boarding the called, who upon arrival Sam Bayley has sent a letter shortage of Artemisinin and ing to meet the urgent need that artemisinin extracted number four service to town. ordered all passengers off the of complaint to First York on a five fold increase in its for inexpensive effective from the new cultivars con- According to several witness- bus and contacted the police, behalf of Halifax College price since 2004. malaria treatments [which] forms to pharmaceutical es, as it became apparent accusing students of acting detailing their grievances Malaria kills a child could help to save millions of specifications. that the ticket machine was like “wild drunks” and “ani- with the service.

27th June 2006 MANAGING DIRECTOR: ARTS DEPUTY: CHIEF COLUMNIST: Inside this issue www.nouse.co.uk NOUSE Jonathan McCarthy Kirran Shah Rebecca Gower SUBEDITOR: FEATURES EDITOR: SCIENCE COLUMNIST: News 1-7 Grimston House (V/X/010) Jamie Merrill Nan Flory Luke Boulter Vanbrugh College Comment 8-9 University of York NEWS EDITOR: FEATURES DEPUTY: B & R EDITOR: Heslington Dan Whitehead Jo Shelley Vicky Hallam Politics 10-11 York NEWS DEPUTY: MUSIC EDITOR: B & R DEPUTY: Letters 12 YO10 5DD Heidi Blake Robin Seaton Lucy Peden POLITICS EDITORS: MUSIC DEPUTY: SPORTS EDITOR: Sport 13-16 Tel: 01904 434425 Adam Sloan Jenni Marsh Sam Cartwright Email: [email protected] Claire Yeo FILM EDITOR: SPORTS DEPUTY: Inside the SU M2-M3 POLITICS DEPUTY: Tom King Simon Lickley EDITOR: Michelle Norfolk Toby Green FILM DEPUTY: WEB EDITOR: Men and Feminism M6 COMMENT EDITORS: Dan Kipling Emma Gawen A special extended Muse, with DEPUTY EDITORS: Charlotta Salmi Road Trips M10 Ellen Carpenter Julian Hammerton LAST WORD EDITOR: STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS: 24 pages full of interviews, Kate Smith Andreas Masoura Georgi Mabee Edinburgh Fringe M12-M13 MUSE EDITOR: Toby Hall features and how to get the PRODUCTION MANAGER: Hannah Burnham LISTINGS EDITOR: J. M. Coetzee M14-M15 Lauren Carter Lauren Mendes The opinions expressed in most out of the end of the ARTS EDITORS: this publication are not Listings M24 ADVERTISING MANAGER: Heloise Wood CARTOONIST: necessarily those of the year. See pullout in centre Rob Perkins Holly Williams Chris Hallam editors,writers or advertisers NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 27th June 2006 Snappy Snaps News 3 Hundreds kept out of Woodstock 2006

By Daniel Whitehead NEWS EDITOR

STUDENTS HAVE voiced displeasure at the University’s re-location of Woodstock 2006 as event capacity was limited by security restrictions. The annual end of term event, which is held by the Student’s Union RAG com- mittee for charity, was forced by University officials to move from the spacious green lands of Vanbrugh Bowl to Vanbrugh Paradise, as a way of expanding the licensed bar area. The move comes after the University announced a loss at last year’s event after providing free security throughout. Halifax student Thomas Fernyhough described the new system as “ridiculous” saying “Woodstock is dead, long live Woodstock”. However, the day was defended by current Services and Finance Officer, Nat- Thwaites McGowan, who stated “the University has no legal obligation to provide security…it is unfair to expect them to make a loss”. Although he added that he would push incoming Services officer Amy Woods Left top: Battle of the Bands winners, Conceptual Misfire, photo by Toby Hall. Left bottom: Students avoid the queue by climbing on the to get large sponsorship for next year so the SU could top of the walkway, photo by Georgi Mabee. Right: Morning Thieves, complete with Gospel Choir backing, photo by Ally Carmichael afford to provide their own of eighteen acts play on the security. main stage with flame jug- Capacity originally stat- glers and a student diving York’s music talent impresses ed as 1200 was increased to into the lake; emerging with 1450 as it became apparent a discarded bicycle as two of successful. Notable early Foreman played his valedic- to The Memos, I Am Jack to security staff that student the many side-attractions. By Robin Seaton highlights included Mitus, tory solo show, though his and The Morning Thieves. demand was above original The total money raised MUSIC EDITOR especially their alarmingly songs sounded as fresh as Skatesian brought some expectations. Hundreds of at is still to be announced. powerful singer Clive. The ever. The Moguls and El much needed energy to the students were left to queue Jaimal Shah, Student YORK’S BIGGEST music Zamar Gospel Choir were Mono kept things indily Woodstock crowd, before for hours for the chance Development and Charities event of the year provided a excellent, and for those who danceable, before The Love Conceptual Misfire divided watch live acts including Officer said that he felt “the range of talent from the fancied something a little Apples’ cover of ‘Children of the audience between those Battle of the Band winners event went very well”, and acoustic stage, story tent less exuberant, Astronaut the Revolution’ provided a who went mad trying to fol- Conceptual Misfire and defended the decision to run and stalls in addition to the played an affecting low mid-event highlight. low their nimble fingers and campus celebrities Fenna Woodstock at Vanbrugh main stage. tempo set. However, as with Though why the American those who went to the bar. Rhodes and the True Paradise as “its such a big The organisers followed all the acoustic acts, he was accent? I spent most of the Fenna Rhodes finished the Ingredients. event to organise” and the the standard policy of ‘let’s slightly hampered by the next few bands trying to get event, with a disappointing- Meanwhile an eventful decision to move the event get every band on campus to people walking past. fish and chips and jump the ly short set that sent every- twelve-hour day saw a total “was not in our control”. play’, which was, as usual, Back outside, Jay massive queue, so apologies one home buzzing. Student hospitalised after RAG event By Jamie Merrill at around 1am last Friday, as “looking just like a nor- Emergency by friends, the dents a student was allegedly Press Officer said “an inci- NEWS CORRESPONDENT 23 June. The incident mal guy” punched him in student had to receive head butted by a fellow stu- dent did take place and was occurred outside Grimston the face before running off stitches for a split lip and be dent and the police were dealt with by Security A MEMBER of the Students House, adjacent to towards University Road. treated for heavy bruising on called to Goodricke College Services but it is now a Union’s RAG committee was Vanburgh College where the The victim described his face and ribs sustained after a reported stabbing. police matter”. violently assaulted on cam- event was held. how he was trying to help when he hit the pavement. Both incidents occurred Whilst in Goodricke pus and hospitalised after James’s attacker the man get a taxi “when he The assault was not during the England and College police were called the pre-Woodstock warm up approached in a drunkard hit me in the face and reported to the police or Trinidad and Tobago football after a reported stabbing. party, Woodstock’s Little state to demand a taxi. “He knocked me to the ground. campus security: “I didn’t match on the 15 June. However Garner has con- Stock. just kept saying get me a It’s a bit of a blur but he may see the point in wasting the In Derwent College an firmed that there was no Rod James, a 1st year taxi, get me a taxi” said have hit me two or three police’s time. I know it was off duty member of Doorsafe stabbing, “six police officers English student who also James. The assailant who is more times.” assault but I try to take these separated two students after attended but it was a false sits on the RAG committee not thought to be a student After being taken to things in my stride”. an alleged head butting. alarm, the victim had just was attacked by a lone male and was described by James York Hospital Accident and In two unrelated inci- David Garner the University had too much to drink” Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 4 News Snappy Snaps 27th June 2006 University’s growing energy

By Heidi Blake cessing of utilities bills, address the issue of energy- DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR which is expected to save awareness. Energy £66,000 per annum; Of this, Nat Thwaites- IN RESPONSE TO fast- increased recycling; a “shad- McGowan, SU Services mounting energy costs and ow pricing system” to assess Officer, said “Everyone in the By Heidi Blake consumption, the University different departments’ share room agreed that something DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR plans to undertake a range of of the energy bill; and a staff needed to be done, which at measures aimed at reducing and student awareness rais- this university is a good Recent energy trends out- expenditure and shoring up ing campaign, which it is thing”. However, he lined in the Carbon Manag- environmental sustainability thought will save up to expressed concerns about ement Implementation Plan in association with the £110,000. It is predicted the durability of the cam- have been described by the Carbon Trust. These meas- that the full range of these paign, saying “It’s slowed University as “especially ures aim to cut emissions measures will reduce costs by down in momentum now, worrying” in the light of the and costs drastically by £1.2 million by 2009/10, and though. It’s difficult putting planned Heslington East 2009/10. reduce carbon emissions by that number of people in a expansion, which is expect- According to the recent 7,009 tonnes by that year. room together and getting ed to lead to “higher con- University Carbon Manag- Speaking of the anything done.” sumption and costs”. ement Implementation Plan, University’s attitude towards The University also took The Plan states that an key drivers for change environmental issues, energy part in the Business in the “important driver [for include UK and EU policy, conservation officer Heike Community Yorkshire and greater energy-efficiency] is economic factors such as spi- Singleton said “I’d say it’s Humber Environment Index the expansion of the current ralling costs and internation- improving – especially now 2006, ranking 38th out of campus, the Heslington East al levies on emissions, and with the cost increases; that’s 150 local companies in terms project, both in terms of fears about the environmen- had a big impact…Obviously of environmental sustain- increased expenditure and tal impact of growing energy now it’s more important ability. environmental impact.” usage at the University. because of the expansion Of the Universities The Plan claims that Crucial impetus has also with Heslington East. which ranked in the top 75, “sustainability is one of the come from the planned Sustainability is a major York came fourth of six, key design principles in the Heslington East expansion, issue.” ranking less environmentally development of Heslington which will lead to significant In addition to the sustainable than the East. Draft Building Designs increases in energy costs and Carbon Management University of Leeds, Leeds Guides have been produced, consumption. Implementation Plan, the Metropolitan University and with specific sustainable tar- In addition, the University has a range of the University of Hull; and gets. One of the project tar- Implementation Plan admits other schemes in place more than Sheffield Hallam gets…is to achieve carbon that changes are partly moti- aimed at ensuring sustain- and Sheffield University. neutrality in terms of the vated by the hope of “oppor- ability. The Students’ Union This comes in the light overall campus.” tunities for grants for low- have collaborated with the of research by the Stockholm However, Dr. Richard carbon projects” and University on a recent cam- Environment Institute which Firn of the University’s “improved corporate image paign to raise student aware- revealed that the City of Biology department, said of for the University”. ness about the importance of York’s ecological footprint is the Heslington East propos- Measures to reduce the saving energy, after a task 1,254,600 hectares, meaning al last year: “I have great University’s energy usage force was gathered by the that the area required to sus- concern about their inter- and emissions will include Communications Office at tain York is 46 times the size pretation of sustainability, an improvement in the pro- the end of last term to of the city itself. Lights in science block at night. Photo: Ally Carmichael which they take to include Man barricades Ball tickets fail to sell himself into a

By Ellen Carpenter year students, and that “a lot NEWS CORRESPONDENT of people weren’t happy about it,” Thwaites- student house THIS YEAR’S YUSU McGowan believes that the Summer Ball has failed to separate Graduation Dinner By Jamie Merrill I saw him I just shouted at sell out despite a new format and the increased amount of NEWS CORRESPONDENT him to get out of my house” and an increased budget. Of money spent on this year’s said Griffiths. the 2,500 tickets available, ball, which has been put into YORK POLICE WERE The man then locked over 450 after dinner ball improved fairground rides called out to a recent burgla- himself into the students’ tickets and over 60 and a chocolate fountain ry after a man broke into a living room and barricaded Graduation Dinner tickets “has pacified them.” student house and barricad- the door. Prudence Ivey, remain to be sold. The SU Summer Ball is ed himself within, while another occupant of the The Summer Ball, a not the only end of year three students locked them- house, said “we could hear departure from previous event having experienced selves in their rooms. him moving furniture years’ Grad Balls, is open to Bjorn Again, the ABBA tribute band, are to appear problems with ticket sales. The attempted burglary around, it was terrifying, we first and second years as well Langwith College’s Summer occurred at 5pm on Tuesday all locked our door and wait- as graduating students. The ticket sales for the Summer failure to sell out on the Ball was forced to downsize 13 June when a man broke ed for the police”. Ball is costing £100,000 and Ball. “Students actually have increased number of tickets its venue from 200 to 120 into a student property on The burglar remained features a fairground and a lot more money than we this year, stating, “they’re maximum capacity, eventu- Bishopthorpe Road, South in the living for 5 to 10 min- casino, with Sara Cox pre- thought and can afford tick- actually selling at a much ally only selling 80 tickets. Bank. utes before Griffiths again senting performances from ets for both events.” faster rate this week than Langwith Chair, Lucy Second year student tired to confront him and he Goldie Lookin’ Chain and First year Langwith stu- they have been. We’ve sold 1, Wickham, felt that the prox- Jade Griffiths became aware made his escape. Bjorn Again. dent Jessica Sinclar Taylor 065 for dinner, and we nor- imity of the event to the AU of the break-in when she saw “The police took This year the Summer disagrees. “The Summer mally sell about 1,100.” Ball and Big D had affected the man’s reflection in her absolutely ages to arrive con- Ball has been scheduled the Ball’s too expensive and Big However, despite the recent ticket sales: “it’s always diffi- bedroom mirror. The bur- sidering he was still in our day before Derwent’s popu- D just sounds like more fun. increase in ticket sales, it has cult selling ball tickets at the glar had gained entry by house” said Prudence. “But lar Big D Carnival. However, I’ll go to the graduation din- not yet broken even. end of term, no one’s got any breaking the back door, hav- they were really good once Students’ Union Services ner in my final year but just I Despite admitting that money left,” but maintained ing already smashed in a they got here and said we’d and Finance Officer Nat can’t be bothered now.” he had received “a mixed that the Langwith Ball “was back window. “I’d heard done all the right things, Thwaites-McGowan claims Thwaites-McGowan feedback” on opening the a successful event” and broke some noise but thought it they even had CSI here with- this has not had an effect on attributes the Summer Ball’s event up to first and second even. was the neighbour, but when in the hour”. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 27th June 2006 Snappy Snaps News 5 Impact of high concerns revealed student usage impact of Hes East expansion on total energy potentially environmentally emissions of roughly 4,000 East”. range of energy-reduction damaging economic factors.” tonnes in the year 2009/10 However, the University measures, outlined in their By Heidi Blake the Students’ Union Dr. Firn also claimed that the “following the start of the aims to avert this increase in Carbon Management DEPUTY NEWS EDITOR launched a recent poster proposal “is not committing first phase of Heslington carbon emissions with a Implementation Plan. campaign to increase stu- itself to the highest ENERGY FIGURES FOR dent energy-awareness, by European standards for the year 2004/5 obtained publicising the costs of res- developing the site.” by Nouse show students on idential energy usage in The central feature of campus play a key part in terms of student services. the proposal is a lake which the over-use of energy at One such poster read: will occupy 10% of the total the University, and in the “If all the computers on footprint, and will involve generation of harmful campus were switched off the pumping of groundwater emissions. for 6 hours per night, the supplies to maintain ade- Of the total gas, water University would save quate levels. and electricity used at the enough to fund 450 new Of this, Firn said: University that year, 33% societies”. “Creating a system which was used in campus resi- Though Services places extra demand on lim- dences. Campus residents Officer Nat Thwaites ited water supplies is hardly alone were responsible for McGowan admitted on indicative of sustainable 68,33368 of the 21,733,598 Friday that he had no design.” The University used kg of C02 emissions gener- assurances that the roughly 406,500 cubic ated. University would spend metres of water last year. Using an online facili- any of the money saved on The Heslington East ty, Nouse has calculated students, he is hopeful that proposal commits to provid- the ecological footprint of if it becomes clear that stu- ing accommodation to all the the average student at 5.3 dents have dramatically 3,700 extra full-time stu- hectares. Though this is reduced their energy dents it aims to attract. short of the national aver- usage, the University could With residential usage age footprint of 6.3 be persuaded to commit currently accounting for hectares, it is still far in some of the money accrued 33% of total energy costs, excess of the actual earth- to student services. this large-scale increase in share of 2 hectares per The University will be the number of University capita. able to detect changing residences may pose prob- If every person in the levels of student energy lems for energy-reduction world lived in the manner use through a new system schemes of a typical student, 2.8 of metering being imple- The “business as usual” planets would be needed to mented. scenario forecast by the sustain global consump- The Students’ Union Higher Education Carbon tion. are keen to remind stu- Management Programme To combat this high- dents to make every effort shows an increase in carbon Computer monitors left on over night in Derwent College. Photo: Ally Carmichael level student energy-usage, to conserve energy. Takeaway set to SU denies No Sweat support

By Daniel Whitehead open on campus NEWS EDITOR Committee, said the SU from ethical sources. In would not let this issue be December 2004 Nouse By Ben Toone likely to be situated in AN ATTEMPT to persuade voted on at a UGM, because launched its ethical clothing NEWS CORRESPONDENT Vanbrugh, making use of the Students’ Union to sup- “it is an issue that does not campaign, which met with current facilities . It is hoped port the anti-sweatshop effect students as students”. some success against Fruit of THE UNIVERSITY IS set to that it will be more success- campaign has been quashed He went onto say that the Loom’s poor workers’ give the go-ahead for a cam- ful than JJ’s pizza, which is in its first stages by Rules the union needed to “oper- rights record. pus fast food takeaway. partly kept afloat by JJ’s bar Committee, and York stu- ate…within best practice, Several College JCRCs Unlike Your:Shop and profits. dents will not be allowed to which includes not making switched to ethical merchan- Your:Books, Commercial It will also be kept as vote on the issue. public statements of such dising, as did many student Services is taking charge of fair trade and environmen- A motion submitted to issues.” societies. This prompted an the scheme. “It was their idea tally friendly as possible in the union’s central decision- This has sparked a furi- investigation by the then SU and their venture” said Nat terms of packaging and food. making body, the UGM, ous reaction from NoSweat Environment Officers, who Thwaites-McGowan, current Thwaites-MacGowan asked the SU to “investigate campaigner, Michael Wood, were prepared to take action Students’ Union Services believes the takeaway won’t the origins of university who said: “instead of getting on the problem and drew up and Finance Officer. encourage an unhealthy stu- apparel…and if necessary a democratic mandate this A child sweatshop worker various policy options. Despite this, the SU are dent diet. “The University is change suppliers to ensure was squashed at the commit- simply can’t see how this However, eighteen trying to make the venture as populated with individuals that the workers involved in tee stage by a group of right doesn’t affect students as months later, the SU have well suited to students as educated to a very high level their production receive a wing hacks with a desire to students. After all, students withdrawn their support for possible, having sent out a and as such we always pro- living wage, work in safe and limit the scope of YUSU’s need merchandise to func- a campaign that has touched survey last term canvassing mote choice. Introducing the healthy conditions and are service provision.” tion as students. Plus, the many student groups on student opinion. “We [the takeaway on campus would free to join an independent He had hoped that pass- issue of workers’ rights is campus. They argue that to Students’ Union] designed be a good service and has the union.” ing a motion for the SU to pertinent to pretty much any do so would be in breach of the survey so that the potential to raise much need- If this motion were support a campaign against student who works, as they “best practice”. Wood said: University can get a better ed funding for Commercial passed, SU officers would sweatshop labour would help don’t do it for the fun of it, “My guess is because it would idea of what students actual- Services.” have been mandated to take prompt decisive change. but to support themselves as involve a lot of time, money, ly want” said Amy Woods, The venture is in its action on the issue of ethical Already, a large number of students.” and effort in actually chang- Services and Finance Officer early stages and the scheme student merchandise. unions and union branches The decision by the SU ing the union from a body elect. “We're trying to keep may be operational in time However, in a statement to are affiliated to NoSweat, but to refuse support to NoSweat which provides cheap(ish) the decisions as student-led for next year’s autumn term, the students who were pro- the SU has refused to take a follows two years of student drinks into one which cam- as possible”. though this has not been posing the motion, Nik campaigning stance. campaigns to provide paigns on issues students are The new takeaway is confirmed. Engineer, the Chair of Rules Wood continued: “I University merchandise concerned about.” Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 6 News Snappy Snaps 27th June 2006 A guide to the ‘Year of Reform’

By Lauren Carter and close relationship between Jamie Merrill the SU and the University in the discussions. Services and Finance THE STUDENTS’ UNION Officer, Nat Thwaites- have claimed success in their McGowan, however, claims ‘Year of Reform’, despite the the SU’s biggest success was criticisms it has received “dialogue with the universi- from students. The reforms, ty” and said “we’ve finally got which started in the autumn them talking to us”. term, have involved a com- In negotiations, it has plete overhaul of the SU, been agreed certain bars will and, most notably, led to the open two nights a week. introduction of the new con- Armstrong said: “I have huge stitution, which has been reservations about how suc- seen as one of the sabbatical cessful this new plan will be”. team’s most controversial The JCRCs have now moves in their term in office. taken action, and in a recent Over the last year, the UGM a motion was submit- SU also faced a number of ted to ensure that the SU incidents that were not would not back down over expected, from the the bar closures. Halifax University’s threat of bar clo- College President, Sam sures, to the recent AUT Bayley, said: “Thanks to the strike, and there is no doubt motion we submitted to the that their reactions to these UGM, the campaign will be will affect how the students ongoing”. chose to remember them. ‘I probably would have been more hard-line with the Campaigns University had I been "chief negotiator"’ he added. The SU’s sabbatical team become most visible to stu- Behind the Scenes dents when campaigning on campus, whether that be However, Thwaites- defying the National Union McGowan and Armstrong of Students over the lectur- have outlined that a number ers’ strike or protesting to the of their successes have been University to keep the college “behind the scenes”. bars open. Armstrong claims a new five- The dream team? SU President, Micky Armstrong and Nat Thwaites-McGowan. Photo by Toby Hall Students’ Union year strategic plan as one of President, Micky Armstrong, his high points, while claims one of the Union’s Thwaites-McGowan has me shudder to think about rent sabbatical team weren’t However, Thwaites- when we’ve dropped the ball, biggest successes was stand- concentrated on a financial how seriously dodgy the very approachable”. McGowan believes Ask hopefully next years team ing up to the NUS, and reform of the Union. process became.” This followed a heated YUSU was used to harass the will pick up the pieces that choosing not to support the “To be honest our entire email exchange between sabbatical officers and col- we dropped”. lecturers in their strike budgetary system was a joke Working relationships Burton and Thwaites- lege chairs: “There are some The SU seems hopeful action and assessment boy- before this year”, he said. The McGowan over the SU’s Ents students who take it to heart that there will be a ‘year of cott. SU have worked to restruc- The SU has stated that the Tech. Thwaites-McGowan to make your life a living consolidation’ under the next Micky said: “I’m disap- ture the Union’s budget, relations between the sab- advised Burton: “don’t fuck hell”. sabbatical team, and then it pointed that as a national which will allow societies to batical officers and other us around”. The outgoing SU team will be possible to see the union we suffered a massive get their funding sooner. members of the Union has There were similar have argued their ‘Year of true successes of the ‘year of spilt but I had to put the The new constitution been much better than in accusations of unprofession- Reform’ was a success and reform’. needs of the students first.” was cited as another one of previous years. Commenting al conduct from the student has delivered a more effi- While most students the Union’s successes. on the former sabbatical body. In a response to an Ask cient, democratic and repre- applauded the SU’s stance on Armstrong said: “The consti- team, Thwaites-McGowan YUSU question, Thwaites- sentative Union, while at the ‘In what other job the assessment boycott, the tution made the Union more said: “It was an absolute dis- McGowan told a student to same time dealing with can you earn outcome of the ‘Save our democratic and representa- aster. It was like a soap ‘fuck off’ and was forced to crises such as the threatened Bars’ campaign has been tive”. opera.” apologise for a statement bar closures and the lectur- money but still seen as a disappointment. However, last term, the However, Goodricke which claimed that the peo- ers’ strike. live a student life?!’ The two week cam- constitution proved so con- College Chair, Matt Burton ple persecuted under the Thwaites-McGowan has paign, which was one of the troversial that some students said “he found that the cur- Nazi regime were “stupid”. admitted: “there’s been times Neil Barnes M2 biggest in the SU’s history, threatened to no-confidence led to students packing out Armstrong and Thwaites- their college bars one week McGowan, the two officers and ‘barcotting’ them the behind the document. next. Over two thousand sig- This followed a contro- Local stags abuse Alcuin students natures were collected in a versial move by the SU to petition, and Micky pass the new constitution, By Daniel Whitehead dent, told of her personal House, behind Alcuin acted”, and accused students Armstrong promised “we which meant a reinterpreta- NEWS EDITOR ordeal in which several men College, and is available to all of making false accusations, will not back down”. tion of the voting rules. approached asking what members of the public apart asking, “if the incident did Despite the initial Despite their claims that a SEVERAL ALCUIN stu- course she did. After telling from stag and hen parties, on occur why didn’t they con- claims of success from the wide range of constitutional dents have complained after them she studied Biology behalf of the National tact security?” She added, “If SU, the University are still experts had been consulted, being harassed by a stag one of the men said “I would- Learning Centre which it is not reported there is planning widespread clo- a Nouse investigation found party staying at a local n’t mind exploring your opened earlier in the year nothing we can do about it”. sures in the next academic that the SU had misrepre- University accomodation last Biology”. A friend, Francesca under the jurisdiction of the Alcuin student Helen year. At the time, Vanbrugh sented advice, and most of weekend. Students reported Archer-Todde said that the “Conference” sector. Tilly opposed the College Chair, Micky the supposed ‘experts’ had that they were subject to abuse was “so loud I could Rachel Harwood, who University’s argument, say- Macefield accused the SU of not been able to pass com- taunts of “Get up you lazy have cried”, adding “I think supervises Conference ing “I can’t believe the “leading everybody to believe ment. student bastards, you f”””ing it’s disgusting that they come Business for the University University would allow peo- that closures were nego- Neil Barnes, the tax dodging c***s” at 7am on and intimidate women”. defended the facility saying ple like that to stay among tiable”, and other JCRC Academic and Welfare the Sunday morning. The Bed and Breakfast that “if we had been aware of students, they obviously chairs have hit out at the Officer, said: “It still makes A female Alcuin stu- is situated in Franklin the incident we would have don’t care about our safety.” NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 27th June 2006 Snappy Snaps News 7 The year in pictures

(Clockwise from above) A spate of drink spikings occured in Derwent, prompting a successful Nouse fronted campaign, ‘Be Aware’, urging students to watch their drinks. Photo by Georgi Mabee; Neil Entwistle, a York graduate, remains in an American prison awaiting trial for the murder of his wife and baby daughter; Documents obtained by Nouse revealed that the University of York hold shares in major arms companies; Rich Croker beat Colin Hindson in the closely fought SU Presidential Election. Photo by Toby Hall; Campus was paid a visit by Lord Hutton, whose report led to Greg Dyke, the chancellor of York University, leaving his job as controller of the BBC. Photo by Toby Hall INTERVIEW M4 THE FRINGE M12-13 SUMMER WEEK TEN We chat to Cooper Temple Clause Previewing the plays going north June 27th 2006 MUSE

The end of the road: How to cope with graduation M7-9 M2 Feature 27/06/06 A year of equal and diverse

Students often know very little about what the SU actually do. Neil Barnes reveals all about his year as a sabbatical officer

ever did I imagine, when tak- ing my first few steps as a sabbatical officer of the NStudents’ Union, the ups and downs I would experience in my amaz- ing year as Academic & Welfare Officer. In the past 12 months there have been moments of absolute joy tempered with occasions of total misery, and working full-time solely for the benefit of students is certainly something that has provided many experiences and provoked many opinions. My work started at the beginning of last summer, which was mostly spent preparing for Freshers’ week - there’s Right: Neil always a certain amount of naivety amongst new students, so there needed Barnes in his to be plenty of information out there to office in the SU gently ease them into university life. building. All Unfortunately, a lot of information got photos by lost in translation as students were Georgi Mabee bombarded with the message of alco- hol. Despite some people’s best efforts, and the promotion of non-alcoholic and not doing what the students want. the four equality officers on both Exec. events, the overriding message was to Although sometimes the work we do and Senate. This left us with very little drink, drink, and drink more. This dis- may lead to our egos being fed, we time before the main SU elections to appointed me, as there was so much always go into everything we do with have it passed or failed. It failed the ini- potential to ease people gently into a one aim: doing our best for students. tial vote and since then the story has student lifestyle through a carefully Even if views differ between officers, all passed into SU legend. Do abstentions considered week of socialising and get- our opinions are based on reaching this count as votes or not? It still makes me ting to know one another, which would goal. The problem is that so many peo- shudder to think about how seriously lead to everyone being equally integrat- ple want different things, and this dodgy the process became. On the ed. makes it hard to assess what the pre- night Exec. voted on the issue of However, as soon as the socialising vailing opinion is amongst students. whether to discount abstentions as part becomes alcohol-soaked a divide is cre- I’m quite a fence sitter at heart and of the vote, I decided to be one of only ated between those outgoing people I’m always reluctant to get involved in 3 people who voted against. That was who steam on ahead and quickly gain controversial matters – it comes from the decision my conscience led me to notoriety, and those who aren’t so out- an eagerness to please everyone at the on the night, as I couldn’t be part of going, get left behind and spend the same time, which is sometimes one of something that wasn’t clear-cut. In the rest of their time at university catching my failings. The big issue was the end, we were left with a disrupted elec- up. I’m not arguing against drinking ‘There have been situations reformed YUSU Constitution, especial- tion schedule, and a constitution that alcohol (in fact I would be a total hyp- ly the flack flying around regarding the isn’t ideal. ocrite if I did, as many people will where the Students’ Union has role of the equality officers on the For me personally, the big welfare stand testimony to…), but Freshers’ Executive Committee. I worked with issue has been drink spiking. I planned Week provides your one chance to get been culturally insensitive the other sabbatical officers on this, a simulated drink spiking campaign at university off to a good start, and the and I still believe that one of our earli- a Planet V in the Autumn Term but to raging beer-soaked events that occur when dealing with societies’ er ideas was the best, which was to have my horror there was suddenly a spate every night during the week don’t help an Equality & Diversity Officer on the of incidents that led to a running battle this. as co-ordinator of all student welfare Executive with the four equality offi- between myself (with the help of Moving on from the lecture activities on campus I would have cers only sitting on Senate. However, JCRCs) and the evil bastards who think though, Freshers’ Week was possibly resisted the urge to pull a fresher, but certain people rejected this, and thus it’s fun to spike drinks. I think we won, the busiest, most enjoyable and cer- no, I was a bad boy, and should have the first proposed constitution had a especially as Nouse publicised the issue tainly the most sanity-threatening known better. I guess I was revelling in severe gap in it when it went to a vote. widely, and awareness is now regularly week of my year. There was the talk and the fact that I was suddenly more pop- It was this which led to its downfall. I promoted at events. What concerns me video in Central Hall that was put on ular with the ladies as a sabbatical offi- still refuse to believe that the SU needs is that the majority of the alleged inci- for all the freshers on the Monday and cer than I have been in any of the pre- the four equality officers to be on both dents were at events held in Derwent, first years still remember it now, vious three years! the Executive and Senate; it’s not nec- and only this year. Is there some evil screaming ‘WELFARE!’ in my face Most of the year has continued in essary or efficient and perhaps more first year targeting student events? when they see me in nightclubs. I even the same vein, with a constant stream people are now realising this. The What drives someone to seek some felt like a celebrity at Access All Areas of work, partying, drinking, and club- abuse I received for supporting the first thrill from endangering the lives of oth- that night where so people I’d never bing. It has not always been a healthy proposal insulted me and the work I ers? Just sheer perversity in my opin- met before spontaneously came up to year, but it’s certainly been eventful. It have put into the Students’ Union for ion. talk to me. I relished the attention has also been a very productive year, in over 3 years, but that’s the pitfall of The ‘Save the Bars’ campaign of without the slightest feeling of modesty terms of how much has been achieved being a Union Officer. the Spring Term was the biggest SU or guilt – dammit, I was enjoying by the Students’ Union. At times we are Then came the ‘revised’ proposal, campaign I’ve seen in all my four years myself! You would have assumed that accused of only doing what benefits us, which was no more than just slotting in at York. I enjoyed the two weeks of the 27/06/06 Science M3 experiences The scientific briefing with Luke Boulter Modern man: survival of the campaign immensely, sacrificing my ‘being gay’ was used as an insult. In fittest or just a bit of luck? liver in the process, but trying to keep order fully to engage with all students, the bars open 7 nights a week was not the officers within the Union need to be just about the alcohol, it was also about more aware of the implications of what providing a shared social space. With they say both privately and publicity, so many JCRs being regularly booked and the opinions they express. Without This week it surfaced in the news that a let- brain volume by 3 times in the space of 2.5 out to societies, there’s no longer a con- this awareness, we stumble down the ter written by Charles Darwin - one of the million years. stantly available space for people to road to greater apathy amongst stu- original proponents in the theory of evolu- Our most famous ancestor is perhaps chill out in, regardless of whether they dents, despite the hard work of those tion - is to be auctioned at Sotheby’s. The Homo erectus. Unlike its name suggests, it are drinking alcohol or not. Some peo- related to equality and diversity. letter was written in October 1980 in the was not the first of the upright hominids, ple claim that even if a bar is shut the I don’t want to be too negative aftermath of his landmark work Origin of but is a very close relative of us, having a area will still be available, but the point though - I certainly won’t try to put Species, and shows Darwin’s modest view on similar brain size and utilising relatively is that the bar being open adds to the anyone off running for a sabbatical what he had proposed and his lack of shock complex stone tools. atmosphere and means all groups can position next year and I definitely don’t that his peers were dubious about this ‘new’ Homo erectus is the first case where mingle. want to scare the incoming sabbaticals. idea. archaeological evidence has been found to Any proposal the University has The elected candidates weren’t all my Natural selection and the theory of evo- suggest a global population... The hominids, come up with will betray and destroy first choices but were definitely either lution is still seen as one of the most revolu- at last, after 19 million years, had ventured student spirit – all just to save a few my first or second. I’ve also worked tionary pieces of scientific thinking, and is out of Africa! thousand pounds. I’ve actively opposed with an amazing team of officers this classically marked as the point where The most exciting race of human evolu- any suggestions that the Students’ year, and am privileged to have done human creation found a viable scientific tion has only really lasted a few hundred Union needs to agree with any so. It’s a long way from six blokes inno- footing. Human evolution is a subject which thousand years. This is the race between University proposal. We can work with is often not greatly considered, but one Homo sapiens and Homo neanderthalensis. the University on any model of closure, which is critically important. It gives us a The Neanderthals, as they are more but we must still actively disagree with glimpse of where we have come from, who commonly known, were our most abundant anything that is not what we want and we are and ultimately where we may, or contemporaries (our other contemporary I hope that after I’ve gone that some indeed may not, end up. Human evolution is being Homo floresiensis, which was discov- future officers may hold this view. It’s also a contentious subject not only for the ered, confined to the island Flores in 2003). my opinion that the University wants obvious religious implications, but also for The Neanderthals were remarkably similar to be able to say that ‘the SU supports being shrouded in arrogance, lies and to us, and, in many cases, Homo sapiens and this’ – it makes them look better, but it treachery. Homo neanderthalis are classed as mere makes us become the University’s Before I begin the story of human evo- subsets of the same species. Modern recon- bitch. The SU isn’t supposed to be the lution, I apologise for some of the scientific structions of the Neanderthals suggest that University’s bitch, we’re supposed to be names used, and for the unscientific nature they would look like a thickly set modern the Students’ bitch! of the information, but when compiling human. They would have slightly more The campaign also brought one information such as this the majority of it is prominent ridges above the eye, but if you episode that ranks as one of my speculative. As far as we know, humans dressed them in clothes then there would be favourite incidents of the whole year. In began as a four legged ape-like creature, very little difference between them and us. week 9 of the spring term I went to the that to be honest is wholly unremarkable, Genetic evidence also shows that Goodricke bar quiz, and was conned by known as Proconsul. This creature wan- Neanderthals are very close relations, two JCRC chairs into taking part in the dered across the increasingly arid regions of diverging from us only half a million years ‘barricade’ that Goodricke carried out. what is now Africa. The original and best ago. Suddenly several Nouse reporters Proconsul fossils were found in the 1930s It is not just in the physical appearance turned up with a camera, and I was and still reside in London’s Natural History that Neanderthals were like us; there is evi- worried that it would look terribly ‘Do abstentions museum. Proconsul is similar in both form dence of a musical flute, and fire, both of embarrassing if disciplinary action was and characteristics to modern day monkeys, which are indicative of a complex society. taken and a sabbatical officer was right count? It makes me as it has a long slim body, rather than the There is also evidence that the Neanderthals in the centre of it. But I soon realised broad chest of humans and other apes. buried their dead, which has no practical that nothing serious was going to hap- shudder to think There were many species of Proconsul living significance except that the deceased is not pen, and enjoyed the mini sit-in, and about 20 million years ago, so the fossil left to be eaten. This, coupled with sites Doorsafe’s attempt to eject the Nouse about how dodgy record for these creatures is vast. where flowers have been thrown onto the reporters from the bar was the funniest It is believed that a group of creatures corpse, suggests that there is a complex thing I’ve seen in ages. the process became’ known as the Dryopithecines were the next social ritual and, without stressing the point There have been moments of inap- link in our evolution. Members of this group too strongly, there may even be evidence of propriate conduct within the confines cently playing croquet on a training were effectively Apes with reduced teeth, belief. of the Student Centre, although it’s weekend to the fatigue and general indeed this is the first point in our evolution So then, why is it us who grace this never been outright bad behaviour gladness that our time is nearly up. The where we see a vertical face, with no muzzle, earth rather than the Neanderthals or however there have been occasions decisions we’ve made have not always - something that we take for granted. There another species? Well, to begin with, we are when I’ve felt that people within the SU been well received by ordinary stu- were many Dryopithecines, but only one is intelligent - disproportionally so, in fact: our aren’t as ‘equal opportunities’ friendly dents, but everything we’ve done was, really relevant to our story: Kenyapithecus, brains are too big for our bodies and that as they should be. Some people seem to from our point of view, for their bene- the first real ancestor of humans. gave us an advantage. We were lighter than regard equality and diversity issues as a fit. It’s been a year of joy from campus Australopithecus seems to be the next the Neanderthals, so when the time came nuisance that they have to placate and, to Toffs, to Ziggy’s to countless bars and in the path to humanity. This ape like crea- that fighting was no longer an option, we although I admit that many students clubs, to Lancaster and back to campus ture has similar jaw to ours, and there is sig- could flee with more ease. may not care about non-alcoholic again. At the same time, it’s been a year nificant evidence to suggest that The most convincing argument for our events or whether smoke or strobe of some lows from feeling isolated in Australopithecus walked upright, since it survival, though, is our willingness to adapt. should be used, that’s no excuse to for- my office to wondering why things go has similar feet to us. Homo sapiens are wanderers, we migrate get about the people that are affected wrong. So, thus far, we have a flat-faced ape- even now, and always have. When food is by this issue. I’ve personally felt mar- However, even with the hindsight like creature that can walk upright. Okay, I scarce or the climate takes a turn for the ginalised as a disabled person, especial- and knowledge of everything that’s know I’m asking a lot, but stretch your worse we move. The Neanderthals, or so it is ly in SU committees where my disabili- gone on this year, I wouldn’t change a imagination a bit and you can almost see believed, were much more homely, fighting ty seems to be a joke with everyone single thing that has happened. In how it only takes a few simple steps from it out whenever times and resources laughing whenever I mishear some- what other job do you have the collec- Australopithecus to a recognisable modern changed. thing, or miss what someone says. I’ve tive students as a boss where it requires day human. Ultimately, though, I’d like to suggest witnessed occasions where sexism a majority decision to sack you? In When I say ‘simple’, all we have to do is that is was just old fashioned luck; some- against women is still present, especial- what other job can you be a little late increase our brain size. The best analogy I where, each of our ancestors was in the right ly on occasions regarding publicity of and hung-over, and not be admonished can think of is to imagine a single measure place at the right time, with the right events. for it? In what other job can you escape of whisky: it has a volume of 25ml, so it amount of fur. From an evolutionary stand- There have also been situations for a few hours if the workload is get- would take 60 measures to fill the volume of point we are nothing more than naked apes, where the SU has been culturally ting you down? In what other job can our brain, but it would only take about 20 to but naked apes that have made a population insensitive when dealing with certain you earn money but still live a student fill the volume of Australopithecus. We have of over 6 billion from an original stock of cultural societies, and times when life?! therefore actually managed to increase our 100,000 or so. 27/06/06 Music M5 of eclectisism and reinvention remain on form with a new album and recent European tour. James Fanning speaks hometown of Reading, their musical influences and getting sneakily wasted at Live8

thing else in Reading. We were always by the bouncers for “ballroom style ed to work on getting the songcraft to a kept getting pushed off the radar. He’d lucky to have the band as friends so antics”. much higher state of being, so we spent also been spending less and less time we’d retreat into our own little world to New album Make It Your Own a long time, writing, listening to other with us as he’d had a kid. It got to the be creative, rather than relying on apparently signifies their passage into people’s opinions, basically taking on stage where Karl asked him to join the Reading as a place to go and check out maturity. The band even abandoned all kinds of different ideas and just band”. music”. In the same vein, it is impor- ‘Dress Up Thursday’ (a weekly ritual on jamming the songs through various Despite their obvious disappoint- tant to remember that unlike many their last album, involving dressing up formations until we got to exactly ment, the pair recall Didz’s antics on guitar-led British bands, The Cooper as women, pirates and Motley Crue) for where we wanted to be.” tour fondly. John remarks that Didz Temple Clause write everything togeth- the more civilised pastime of poker. Although The Cooper Temple never failed to be sick in his room and er. John sees this as the source for their Kieran laments this shift, complaining Clause may be where they wish to be Kieran laughs that the bass is much “ecleticism.” about the “distinct lack of cross dress- musically, for many fans the band will tighter now owing to Didz’s propensity “With everyone writing their ing on this album.” John interjects. not be the same without founding for guitar slinging acrobatics. It’s parts, it ends up a strange mix. “We’ve just got older and dressing like member Didz Buchanon. John admits refreshing to see a band affectionately Sometimes Tom (Bellamy, vocals) will women didn’t seem like such a good that with six song writers in the band, discussing their friendship with an ex- be on his laptop for weeks working on idea anymore. I mean how can you take Didz was somewhat squeezed out. “I bandmate, rather than resorting to the some electro, then he’ll bring it to us your bandmates seriously if they’re don’t think he had the scope within our name-calling and childishness that and we’ll put our parts on it, or me and dressed like 80’s rock stars?” band to show his talents. His songs often typifies such splits. As Kieran Kieran will be jamming away live. This newfound maturity also says at the close of our interview, the Every song is born differently. We’re affected chief lyricist Dan Fisher (see strength of the friendship was such that proud of how someone will hear one the band’s website for his superb ele- getting a new bassist was inconceiv- song and think ‘They’re a rock band’ phant costume). John suggests that able. “There was the option of getting a and then hear another song and think Fisher has progressed as a songwriter: new member. But we always thought ‘They’re an electro band.’” “He’s chilled out a lot from the crazy the idea of a band is quite precious, it’s This is the great strength of the Dan we used to be scared of and his about friendship not just about band; at the gig tonight there are pun- lyrics are much more emotional. He’s replacement.” ters scissor-kicking each other in true always had a dark edge, but he’s pro- Watching The Cooper Temple metal style, then the song changes and gressed away from that and become Clause that evening in the wretched everyone begins raving. Dance-mosh- less dark. I think he’s in a better place hive of sweat and villainy that is the ing? It’s surprisingly fun. When I ask emotionally.” Cockpit, the loss of Didz seems to have the two how they think this cross-polli- The tracks circulating on the affected the band more emotionally nation has affected their popularity, internet certainly seem the product of a than musically. The band play an they respond with infuriating modesty. band who have finally come to terms intense and exhilarating set, with the “Well, hopefully everyone will like with their musical abilities. ‘Damage’ sledgehammer riffage of ‘Promises, something they find in the mix” Keiron and ‘Waiting Game,’ for example are Promises’ and the sonic wigouts of replies, and John simply laughs. “We’re tighter, punchier and more instantly ‘New Toys’ banishing any doubts about just covering our bases really.” They accessible than their older material and their future as a five piece. It’s the new seem almost casually indifferent to the it seems they are perfecting the art of material tonight that really shines with fact that they are in the process of writing the four minute pop-rock song the superb piano refrain on ‘Waiting shaping a new genre of music. with an added twist. Game’ and the frankly unnerving elec- For a band who have played to However, there is the niggling tro-indie of ‘Head’ making previous colossal audiences all around the doubt that this newfound ability to “Live8 was a very dry festival, tracks like ‘Panzer Attack’ seem fairly world, the decision to promote Make It write songs reflects a desire for the juvenile. Musically muscular and pow- Your Own by playing toilet venues like extreme commercial acceptability that but I managed to sneak in erfully diverse, the new songs combine the Cockpit may seem bizarre. It is a has so far eluded the band. John says, poppy melodies and hooks galore with rarity to see so successful a band within “There’s always businessmen in suits quite a lot of booze… I wore the experimental insanity that initially getting hit in the face by flailing guitar talking to you about radio and TV and made the band so exciting. This is a distance. John admits there is an there’s always that nagging in your ear. very baggy jeans and strapped band in its stride. aspect of “testing the water” after the But it’s still very eclectic. There are the Electro, pop, grunge, indie? I band’s three year hiatus “I mean you friendlier tracks, then the downright it all to my leg and seemed to doubt any of the sweat soaked fans don’t want to book yourself into a mas- dirty tracks you’d expect from us. The retiring to the bar with ear-wide grins sive room if only four hundred people album is a huge journey.” have a better time than most” on their faces really care for definitions. are coming” but maintains that these The Cooper Temple Clause had a The Cooper Temple Clause are them- smaller gigs are important for them. lot more time and resources to spend selves, and they’re bloody good for it. “As we’ve been been away so long, on this album, spending the first six we wanted to do fan shows. We adver- months constantly writing and record- tised the gigs before they got to press ing demos in their self-built recording through our website. It’s just about studio, Bleak House. They even worked Music on the website: www.NOUSE.co.uk putting on a really great show for the with Depeche Mode producer Dave people who’ve been there since the McCracken, whose influence can be beginning.” seen in the electro-punk of new tracks In music content exclusive to the James Fanning reviews the Foo A lot of bands tend to talk up their ‘Head’ and ‘Connect.’ The two clearly internet, Camille Augard reviews Fighters’ mini festival, where they relationship with “the fans” but with enjoyed the ability to record and write The Cooper Temple Clause there does at leisure, as John states. “It was a local favourites and Battle of the were joined by Queens of the Stone seem a genuine affection between audi- much better process of writing. Bands competitors Cardboard Radio Age and Motorhead, which took ence and band. Tonight John is seen Whereas with the first two albums the happily mingling with fans after the label needed a record, this time we had following their recent gig at Fibbers place at Hyde Park on Saturday 17th show, even sitting outside to have a enough time and freedom to work on in York June beer with a fan who had been ejected them until they were perfect. We want- M6 Features 27/06/06 Feminists! It’s f-off to the f-word

noticeably, and swiftly departed. towards female-supremacy disguised as Determined to remain unper- feminism; that’s not what feminism is Is feminism a fight for gender equality, or an turbed and to keep our feminist cool, we about, and actually all men are not bas- took a few deep breaths, quoted some tards. My friends and I are rather nice, outlet for frustrated lesbianism? Kate Smith inspirational passages from The Female as it happens.” And indeed they were. Eunuch and, supping furtively on our During the evening, what became menstrual blood, adjusted our specta- clear was that, whether or not it is and Heidi Blake find out what York men think cles and moved on to the next table. regarded by men as an outmoded con- One of the more thoughtful criti- cept, feminism is certainly seen as an cisms of feminism made was by outdated term. Even those who eminism is an elusive and evolv- prefer it if they just took them off!”. At Richard: “Feminists belittle women expressed broadly feminist ideas did ing concept. It remains hotly this point, Dave began to extol the who choose to stay at home and look not identify them with feminism itself. debated and wildly controver- virtues of the aforementioned items of after their children. Surely what’s Perhaps Dave was right; the term does Fsial, but whilst men have always negligee, as a somewhat glazed look of important is that the woman has the carry too much baggage with it. been involved in the debate, their voices obscure bliss descended upon his previ- freedom to choose for herself, rather Preconceptions made full and frank dis- are conspicuous by their absence in the ously animated countenance. Not being than responding to social pressure from cussion nigh on impossible. The process of definition and development. of prudish disposition, we were unde- either camp”. After our previous conver- moment the f-word passed our lips, the So, given the chance, how would men sations, we were overjoyed on behalf of men we spoke to battened down the define feminism? Is it nothing more the sisterhood to encounter this more conversational hatches. So perhaps a than an outdated theory? Or perhaps ‘Determined to keep our enlightened approach. Germaine her- new language of gender equality is merely an outlet for frustrated lesbian- self would be proud, and we thought it required if its true meaning is to be ism? Does it vindicate a conception feminist cool, we took a few necessary to celebrate over a couple of understood. After all, if men are expect- which indiscriminately perceives all pints of Guinness, while assuring ed to join the fight, they shouldn’t have men as bastards and promotes notions deep breaths, quoted some Richard that there are many schools of to do battle in the name of a “sister- of female supremacy? Is modern post- feminism which embrace women who hood” – a term which is exclusive in feminism an excuse for selfish female inspirational passages from The choose the family over the workplace. upholding the very gender divide femi- hedonism? Or, could it be that men see After Richard departed, with a nism seeks to overcome. feminism as nothing more than the Female Eunuch and moved on’ newly acquired copy of The Second Sex Satisfied to have found something propagation of gender equality? in his hand and the revolutionary spirit vaguely resembling an answer through Keen to explore the opinions of a terred from our investigations. in his heart, we met Jacob, who was a haze of Guinness-induced crapulence, wide range of men, we burned our bras After being gently chastised and commendably articulate after several we wended our merry way home feeling and descended upon York’s traditional duly apologising for his somewhat inap- pints. He was the only man interviewed confident that, now our good work has watering holes, armed with a dicta- propriate underwear-related tangent, willing to identify himself as a feminist, been done, we could remove our specs phone, a veritable library of well- Dave earnestly expressed concern about Guinness, Greer though he did go on to express some without compunction and sleep sound- thumbed feminist polemic, and a thirst feminists’ tendency towards what he and glasses: concerns about the concept: “I’m not a ly. After all, the real work starts tomor- for revolution. While, much to our cha- described as an ‘all men are perverts’ feminism’s bad fan of anything that’s an ‘ism’. I’m afraid row, when we must take the red pen of grin, revolutionary spirit was not over- mentality, adding “there are 30 million press. you start talking to ideas rather than redefinition to our well-thumbed femi- whelmingly forthcoming from the men men in the country, how can you gener- Photo: Ally people. Feminism puts ideas first some- nist favourites. Perhaps it’s time to say f- of York, the conversations we had did alise?” times and ideas are always defective. off to the infamous f-word. Or perhaps reveal just what an elusive concept fem- We couldn’t help but note the irony Carmichael I’m uncomfortable with the tendency that’s just the drink speaking. inism is. Not a single person we spoke inherent in Dave’s comments, but con- to had a pre-considered definition to cerned to survey as many of these 30 offer, but all were willing to bash out million men as possible, we moved on some ideas, though sadly some seemed to our next victim, John. Directing his keener to bash us, with our own copies comments towards the generation of of The Female Eunuch, no less. younger women often labelled ‘post One man we spoke to insisted that feminists’, but more recently and con- “feminism is about looks”. He suggested troversially termed ‘female chauvinist that “beautiful women” were unlikely to pigs’ by radical feminist author, Kira be feminists and claimed that a feminist Cochrane, John suggested that “a femi- can be detected by signs of what he nist is someone who wants everything described as “frustrated lesbianism”. A her own way; to have her cake and eat penchant for “unrevealing clothes” is a it”. He expressed frustration with telling signal, we’re told. An absence of women who “want to be treated equally make-up is another crucial factor, but but are not prepared to do what a man this look is apparently incomplete with- does. They want equality but at the out that internationally recognised bea- same time expect to have doors opened con of female homosexuality: “a pair of for them and to be treated like ladies”. spectacles”. Encouragingly, his compan- When asked what he thought a feminist ion, Peter, quickly interjected, exclaim- ought to be like, he cited Germaine ing, “it’s not the look, it’s how you por- Greer: “a woman who practices what tray yourself. It’s all about the attitude”. she preaches when it comes to equality”. We were reassured by Peter’s rejection And, of course, she sports a pair of of his friend’s more superficial fetching spectacles, is reserved in her approach, but our hopes were dashed choice of attire and is hardly likely to when we asked him to elaborate on the volunteer as the face of the next L’Oreal defining characteristics of the ‘attitude’ campaign. he spoke of. He responded “one like While few men had a clear defini- yours, love, you’re bloody ‘orrible!”. At tion of feminism, almost everyone we this point we considered it wise to take spoke to was readily equipped with a ourselves, and our trusty Germaine, list of problems which they thought it elsewhere. posed, not only for men but also for The next man we spoke to, Dave, women. when asked what he thought of femi- One man we spoke to, Dan, com- nism was keen to stress that he thought mented that “shoving feminism down “women should not be chained to the people’s throats doesn’t make sense. kitchen sink”. After our previous Women are equal. Everybody else encounter, this at least was reassuring. realises it, it’s just women who can’t However, he went on to say “I don’t like accept that and move on”. When we the term feminism; it carries a lot of blithely and cheerily mentioned the baggage with it, like all that bra-burn- resounding lack of direct representa- ing nonsense”. When questioned on his tion of women in Parliament, the strong feelings towards the process of recently exposed 23% average pay gap incinerating underwear, he exclaimed “I for equal work, and the glass ceiling of don’t see the point in burning them, I’d the perceived maternal role, Dan paled 27/06/06 Feature M7 Parties and pizza box furniture

A year on York’s claustrophobic campus is enough for most students who eagerly await moving into a house of their own. Toby Green examines this rite of passage

oving off campus is almost like starting university all over again. After finally get- Mting used to the concrete monstrosities and enjoying the brief summer moments, when campus becomes sunny and you can get a tan amongst the duck shit, it’s time for first years to consider the implications of their approaching shift into the real world. Will I stay in touch with people I’m not sharing a house with? Will I get a brick through my window courtesy of student-hating civilians? And, most importantly, (especially if you’re a BA student) will I ever have the motivation to make the 20 minute walk to the library and do some actual work? However, these worries should be put to one side; forget cleaners, Costcutter and campus events, becoming a resident of York is where the real adventure of uni- versity begins. Your main preoccupation as your mind starts to turn towards the big move is the house itself. For most stu- dents the location and surrounding area of their new quarters will be a mystery, unless you happen to be living on Micklegate or along the No. 4 bus route. You may have heard rumours of exotic places such as Fulford and Walmgate, but unless you are intimately acquaint- ed with a 2nd or 3rd year, the thrill of exploring past the army base will match the moment when you discovered Brown’s sandwiches as a viable rival to a Your:Shop Meal Deal. One area on which every man and his dog seems to have an opinion is Your move off- wireless entertainment network (which, to be fair, was up to my waist), Yes, I’m sure I hold all these qualities Tang Hall. Portrayed as holding the campus may through which it would be possible to or you could end up like my friend, who myself, but I’m happy with my hypocrit- scum of the earth in fetid housing bare- enjoy music and films whilst making is being sued by his landlord after a few ical unfounded views. So that is why it’s ly suitable for a member of Goodricke, reinvigorate your pizza or taking a piss. We (like the late nights too many. However, either so refreshing living somewhere where the mere name seems to strike fear into your time at trendy and ‘wacky’ students we are) way, it’s always good to stay on his or you’re not a student 24-7, where you see students’ hearts in the same way as the univeristy were going to have a shisha pipe and her good side. Even more important are other people (apart from the taxi driver Bronx or Luton might. even traditional Moroccan wood carv- your new layman neighbours. It’s well who takes you to Micklegate and back In reality, far from being the hood ings on the wall (ok, the last one’s a lie, known that on campus the porters and again) who aren’t lecturers or fellow of York, Tang Hall is just really ugly. but you get what I mean). cleaners are the most important people students. Garish houses decked out in England What have we ended up with? A to have on your side. Well, off-campus Not only do you get to meet and flags and kids riding bikes after 8pm dodgy wireless internet connection and those that you share a wall with are the interact with York residents, you’re appear the only identifiable signs of a TV in the garage with a few sheets equivalent. They are the ones who’ll let forced to explore the city itself. And this social delinquency in this ‘ghetto’. If this tacked onto the ceiling. And guess you know when bin day is, who will pick doesn’t just mean the centre, although is York’s roughest area then its no sur- up 9am parcels when you’ve been in you do spend a lot more time there once prise the York Press are up in arms Ziggy’s the night before and who, with a you’ve escaped campus, but the other when a couple of bricks get light-heart- ‘On campus the porters and bit of charm, will turn a blind eye to areas as well. You’ll find parks, grocers edly thrown at a bus every now and parties every now and then. and even one day stumble across the then. I mean, come on, Tang Hall even cleaners are the most important Your neighbours’ most important physical location of Efe’s. You’ll actually has a Co-op! asset, and the most refreshing part of feel part of York the city, rather than After you’ve discovered the loca- people to have on your side. living off campus, is simply that they are York the university, and it’s a lot more tion of your abode and got over the normal people. They have jobs. They exciting. shock of finding you’ll live near a shop Well, off-campus your have lives that don’t revolve around There are downsides to living in that will sell you fresh fruit and veg, essay deadlines. Their mood doesn’t your own house. The bills can often be you’ll have to start thinking about how neighbours are the equivalent’ depend on whether they have an shockingly high, and you seem to learn you will deck out your house. You’ll approaching exam. Now I’m not going a lot more about your housemates than have decided how yours will avoid all what? It suits us just fine. One request to lie to you: I’m not the biggest fan of you did whilst on campus. I will never the stereotypes: the PlayStations, the however: please, for the sake of the students. Obviously this has no real get over the shock of settling down for pizza boxes and the beer cans. Let me most basic standards of interior decor, basis or justification, it’s just a general breakfast one morning in front of the give you one piece of advice: this will refrain from putting girly posters up in prejudice in the same way some people TV, and having my cornflakes interrupt- not happen. Whatever your grand your sitting room. You don’t have don’t like the French or vegetarians. ed by the sound of my housemate and plans, give them up. Seriously. Because instantly to point out to your landlord Students are lazy, they smell and they his girlfriend enjoying a morning quick- once you move in and rediscover the joy what a moron you are. are surprisingly snobby (I hark back to ie. Yet even this sort of psychological of mixing a sofa with a TV, your plans Oh yes, the landlord. How this the description of Tang Hall as being scarring (cereal will never hold the for a suave and classy abode disappear. turns out is pure luck. You could end up full of “chavs”, the catch-all-term used same pleasure for me) cannot mar the Last year, my fellow housemates and I with a landlord like mine who has by the middle class to describe those freedom that living in your own house wanted a multi-screen, multi-room popped round once to mow the lawn poorer and stupider than themselves). offers. M8 Feature 27/06/06 It’s your last chance to...

After years of frequenting the library and Ziggy’s, post-degree life can seem daunting. Rachel Ringstead looks at how to get the most out of your last few days at university, and ease into real life

here are many things that a per- son should do when they finish their degree. However, once the Tbasics have been covered (such as washing one’s hair and nervously rehearsing the art of social engagement in the mirror), most students opt for the obvious, and embrace their inner ‘club You may have rep’ by funnelling yards of ale, gyrat- to make more ing/urinating against first years and forgetting everything that they have effort than ever learned. Dustin Hoffman Yet, while killing off brain cells is to seduce your vital to the post-finals recovery pro- University tutor gramme, it would be a shame to let the precious sands of university time simply slip away through one long bender. nicely set up with a graduate nest egg. ers at the end with impossible questions After all, however hard the newly grad- The new society could be founded sim- about pretend post-war Italian films. uated strive to reclaim that hedonistic ply in honour of your own greatness, or ‘Create short-lived Now they have had their pay rise, it’s ‘fresher feeling’, it is never quite the if this smacks a little too much of self- time they did some bloody work. same, as nostalgia taints all experience. aggrandisement, perhaps invent new campus celebrity by Furthermore, don’t let the Along with drunken exchanges of emo- extreme sports such as ‘flame fart soc,’ University steal anymore of your tion – “I love you man! You made or trend-spot popular culture with ‘Dan courting controversy money. Ensure you have fully used up ‘Politics B’ for me”, every mundane act Brown Soc’ - for people belonging to the all of the remaining money on your becomes imbued with new meaning: bloodline of Jesus of course. If you do and sensation at library photocopying card by xeroxing “This is my last ever chat with the fit actually desire to top up your CV with your arse and determinedly exhaust second year”, “the last time I get cake real skills, you could consider more sen- any opportunity’ your print credit, even if it means draw- from Roger Kirk”, “the last time I go sible options such as completing a final- ing your own obscene stupid smiley through the library doors…” ist Illiad course, an intensive language Perhaps fashion a genius poking device, faced images and printing them patho- This cheesy finalist sentimentality course or learning first aid. or glue pound coins to the floor. This, of logically. So what if you offend environ- can descend from tears of woe into Equipped with the financial clout course, will make you widely disliked, ment soc., your campaign against uni- regret. However, while it really is too and responsibility that goes with being however who cares if you are popular versity meanness is far more important. late to study English and Writing and ‘society chairperson’, you will now be in now? While you once had a reputation Once you have made the most of Performance instead of Chemistry, or an apt position to foster a new ‘busy and to protect, it is now the perfect time to the opportunities on campus, it is nec- run for SU president, the world still important’ graduate identity. This is emerge from relative anonymity to essary to exhaust York. If, in the future, remains decidedly oyster shaped and vital for dealing with the inevitable become a big name. Create short lived people find out that you once lived in questions concerning your impending campus celebrity by courting controver- this historic city, but failed to visit the future, which are next in line for irri- sy and sensation at any opportunity: Jorvik centre, have high tea at Betty’s, or tability to “how did your exams go?” If streaking, impersonating figures of go inside the Minster, you will be ‘Along with drunken exchanges you in fact lack any plans, direction or authority, seducing tutors, re-enacting regarded as a pagan. Thus a day of tag- ambition, it is probably best to lie: “I’m ‘Lost’ scenes on the shores of the lake. ging along to a coach trip is very neces- of emotion, “I love you man! aiming to go into organised crime” may No publicity is bad publicity if it gets sary. get people off your back, while “I’ll be your name out there. However if you have lived the cul- You made ‘Politics B’ for me”, busy dividing my time between New However, if being infamous is not tural high life but failed to ever, a) eat a York and Tokyo as the Hedge Fund your thing, you should at least ensure kebab, b) steal a traffic cone, or c) dress every mundane act becomes manager of the investment bank that I that you quietly get your money’s worth up as a ‘sexy bunny/doctor/nurse’ à la created through the York Award,” will of university resources. For instance, hen night, you are clearly not an imbued with new meaning’ also silence onlookers into awe and this is the last time that anyone vaguely authentic student, so it is time to get envy. Perception is reality, kids. professional will listen to you moan for seriously vulgar. Indeed, taking the piss, rather than free. Book yourself an appointment Hopefully, by the time that all of open to opportunity, even as the univer- wallowing in fear and nostalgia, seems a with a university counsellor or welfare the above have been achieved, you will sity body clock continues to tick. rather more effective coping device for rep to get that long bottled up middle be so tired and full of shame and self- To start with, there is still time to leaving the comfort zone of York. After child persecution complex off your loathing, that the prospect of leaving start your own society. Not only will you all you are only finishing university - no chest, or analyse your curious fear of university will seem a welcome leave behind an immortal personal one died. hobbits. prospect. This, of course will be a sad legacy and actually have some ‘transfer- Playing practical jokes on those If the mood takes you, you could feeling, but it will be far easier than hav- able skills’ to list on your CV, but by with less free time than you is a truly also tag along to the lectures of other ing to say goodbye to York when you are embezzling the SU grant you will be distracting source of amusement. subject disciplines and grill the lectur- still in love with it. 27/06/06 Feature M9 Oh f*** - I just graduated With exams over and student loans exhausted, soon-to-be graduates must now think about life after university. Tom King explores the more financially viable options

round the nooks and concrete do exactly what they say and lease them crannies of York University your soul for a prearranged amount of campus, a new species is on the time afterwards. Another advantage of Aincrease. It walks tall, a smug this route is that an MA dissertation expression of complete immunity from can potentially be on any subject and work on its face and a spring in its step. can thus allow you to indulge your pas- It can be seen at all times of day, bask- sion for “Phallic imagery in the London ing in the midday sun or staggering skyline” or “Buses of the Cotswolds, home from Ziggy’s at 3 in the morning. 1936-1940 : Whither the petrol tank?” It is the soon-to-be-graduate student. Chances are, however, that after However, there is more to these soon- spending most of your life in the educa- to-be endangered creatures than meets tion system you may feel a little con- the eye. Beneath their carefree appear- stricted by it and want to see more of ance is the knowledge that they soon the world before you decide on your must leave the university bubble and place in it. This being the case, travel is enter society. So, in an attempt to foster probably your best option. Again it isn’t better understanding of this strenuous cheap but the case can be made that you and painful process, we present a guide are “developing people skills” and “gain- to the stages of its development. ing life experiences” which can help you The first stage is Realisation and, enter gainful employment when you get as the name suggests, it is the moment back. After all, who would you rather when that niggling feeling (which start- employ, someone who can only talk ed around Christmas) finally reaches its about maths or someone who can tell apex and the student realises that they you what it’s like to white-water raft must decide what to do with the rest of through crocodile-infested waters? their lives. For some, this stage is not (Well, if they’re going to be your nearly as unpleasant as for others, as accountant then you’d probably choose they took the time to decide on an the first one, but you get the point.) action plan before entering their final Here the key thing to consider is getting year and are, therefore, able actually to the maximum personal growth at the move towards their chosen life as soon minimum actual cost. India is generally as exams are finished. These lucky souls good value as 6 months worth of bed get to move straight to Stage Three, but and board can be achieved for roughly for the rest of us Stage Two awaits: £630, provided you go the cheapest Denial. route. Indonesia is also bargain-base- Denial is, simply put, the immedi- ment at £600 for 6 months. Even ate reaction of a balanced mind to the Thailand can be managed for under requirement that it plan its entire £900 and Ecuador can be yours for just future in just three weeks. The mind £560 (all prices from worries about it for a second, undergoes www.solotravel.org). For an excellent a brief stage of panic and then, very balance of spirituality, cheapness and wisely, decides that it can deal with the safety, try Tibet at £1,200. Here rob- problem later and so ignores it. This bery is mostly used to fund the people’s may also be accompanied by a complete rebellion so when you are robbed, you disregard for financial factors as it tion, the student may be able to increase fer to remain so) then the next best New graduates will be given a receipt saying that you becomes clear that, while the student’s this substantially. For example, getting option in terms of minimum disruption may find have already “donated” which you can final debt could be reduced by abstain- married to a fellow student of the oppo- to lifestyle is to take on further study. themselves show to any subsequent thieves to pre- ing from certain activities, a lot more site sex who is equally committed to the For some this can mean starting anoth- vent further thefts. fun can be had by maxing-out their plan can boost their claim to £90.10 a er three year degree because, having joining the dole All of these options require cash- overdraft and “Well, this is this the last week (split between two) and by seri- studied, for example, Chemistry they’ve queue flow, though, and if you just can’t raise chance I’ll really get to have fun.” ously maiming themselves to give a realized that what they actually want to the money then your only option is to However, after the final pound has severe disability, this can be supple- do is be a historian. This is, however, an work. However, it needn’t be awful. A been spent and the final shot downed, mented by £46.75 a week. Thus, with extreme approach and requires either job is a job and even if it doesn’t pay there is only one place to go, Stage only the minor annoyance of having to very deep pockets or very understand- much it can still be surprising how Three: Acceptance. This is actually attend a job centre once a week (and the much one can earn. The average gradu- quite a pleasant phase as it develops loss of a limb), the student can collect ate salary is £22,000 but if you move gradually and one morning the student up to £91.80 a week with minimum dis- ‘Going on the dole won’t allow into the right career you can earn as simply wakes up with a positive outlook ruption to their lifestyle. (NB. If espe- much as £35,000 straight away. Even if on the future instead of the hitherto cially committed, getting a fellow stu- you a flamboyant lifestyle but you’re at the bottom of the heap with a held horror. Now there is just one step dent pregnant and having a child can starting salary of £14,000 it’s still a left: finally to decide what to do next, an add an extra £45.68 per week to the great deal more than your student loan easy choice for those who have already tally, up until the point where the child on the plus side it shouldn’t of £3,000 so you will still feel rich. And thought long and hard about it, but for too can become a student and move don’t by any means think that you’re the more unsure there are four main into the realms of student loanship. disrupt your day-to-day committing yourself for life. The mod- routes to pursue. Free milk and vitamins can also be ern world of work allows for great flexi- The easiest option is to go on the claimed until the child is 5, cutting food existence too much’ bility, so, even if you can’t afford to trav- dole for a while. At a basic level of bills.) Note that this plan will only suc- el or do an MA now, give it several years £34.60 a week it won’t allow the stu- ceed if you have no money whatsoever ing parents. A far more realistic idea is and do it then. So when you next see a dent a flamboyant lifestyle, but on the as any savings preclude one from claim- a masters degree. These also carry a graduate student in the throes of Stage plus side it shouldn’t disrupt their day- ing the maximum amount. fairly hefty price-tag of c.£4000 but Two tell them to cheer up because, how- to-day existence too much. If prepared If such a stagnant approach does funding is often widely available from ever this all ends, they’re young, intelli- to properly commit to this way of life not appeal (or if you are quite attached the university or other large companies, gent and (possibly) good looking, and then, with a few tweaks to their situa- to all of your body parts and would pre- provided that you apply early enough, the world is their oyster. M10 Feature 27/06/06 The joy of taking a road trip

The ultimate way to travel is not by train or plane but, as Flora Bradwell explains, the humble automobile

oad trips are something of a right of passage among young people and students alike. RDespite the automobile orien- tated nature of this pastime, anyone can take part. All you require to set a road trip in motion (literally) is either a dri- ver’s licence and car or, potentially even better, a friend who owns a car, who can hopefully also drive. The VW camper There is one further thing to keep in mind before you zoom off into the van, vehicle of sunset in search of the wild adventures choice for a of the open road, and that is whether stylish road trip you have motion sickness or not. For, there is no fate worse than being Herbert and Poling Chow, two third motorway tours. Young boy racers the like a bath. Just before I got out I weed squashed in a metal box on wheels, years, recently departed on a magical world over inspired by films like The in it, then my friend went over to it and hurtling down a motorway with the mystery tour in Laura’s Saab, which Fast and the Furious and Grease are washed himself in the water.” Of course constant urge to regurgitate that morn- goes by the ingenious name of Murtle definitely feeling the need for speed and things can’t always go so swimmingly, ing’s quickly snatched breakfast. the Turtle. They believe there exists a putting the pedal to the metal. History and, as we are in England, the weather So, you have a car and at least one strict musical code that all self respect- student Will Dixon revels in his reck- is the main enemy to any potential fun. designated driver and have made sure ing road trippers should abide by. “If lessness on the road. “We had two car However, you must maintain the stiff your stomach is hearty enough to with- you don’t have a tune you’ll be a buf- loads going down to Windsor to see upper lip and continue as if everything stand speeds of over 70mph; you are foon” Laura asserts. An example of the some girls we knew and me and my was going to plan. Rachel Herbert sets almost ready to go. But before you or quintessential road trip track according friend were after the same girl and we the expected tone: “You always set off your trusty chauffeur put the pressure to this driving duo is ‘Take on me’ by A- decided to race the M1 to decide who and it’s sunny and once you get there it’s on the accelerator you must remember ha. Nothing can beat feeling the wind in could chat up the girl. It was the Corsa pissing down with rain. But you still perhaps the most vital element of any your hair as you shriek “dah dah dah of Justice vs. the Fiesta of Doom”. have your wet sandwiches and wear road trip. Not food supplies, not camp- dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah” into Obviously the motorway has replaced your bikini and sunbathe with the other ing equipment and certainly not a map, the smoggy air of the motorway. the jousting tournament in sorting the people who are, like you, under their oh no, the most important aspect of any Equally great tracks are Dizzee Rascal men from the boys in this technological umbrellas”. Never let the weather think car journey that will go down in road ‘Fix up Look Sharp’ for those sunny age. Luckily the end to this particular it’s got the better of you. trip history is a soundtrack. It is the days when you drive past campus with story ends happily for our protagonist. Having proved able to withstand music that makes the memories, and your windows open, Beach Boys “We ended up flanking a car either side, all weather conditions, out-raced your every self-respecting road tripper will ‘Surfing USA’ for trips to Whitby or my mate skidded and ended up in a fellow travellers, and out-nuded have thought of the sounds that will in Scarborough, and ‘Greased Lightning’ ditch and it took eight hours for them to motorists en route, the eventual culmi- turn dictate the mood of their voyage of Grease, the musical fame for just be pulled out: ample time for me to nation of all these joys is the journey through the motorways of the world. driving in general. Of course ‘Bohemian claim the spoils of war.” The M1 is clear- home. This, like all the other stages of Vicky Hallam admits that without her Rhapsody’ occasionally comes up due to ly the battlefield of this century. any road trip is fraught with danger, as Pocahontas Disney soundtrack her road its inspirational appearance in Wayne’s As jousters fought for love in the Vicky Hallam found out on her troubled trip-come-camping extravaganza would World. In theory, and celluloid, this fields of yore, the likes of Will Dixon voyage back from Skegness. “We have been exceedingly less memorable: head banging track seems ideal for car fight for lust on the motorways of today; stopped in traffic and some chavs start- “Because of the Pocahontas music I journeys, however, in practice, 6 min- and lust, well at least nudity, is another ed rocking the car. They rocked it so didn’t realise I was driving the wrong utes is too long for the perfect road trip important ingredient to any road trip. hard that the car conked out so we had way down a one way road,” Vicky con- accompaniment. Vicky admits to being one of the many to go to the local bingo hall to find fesses. “Suddenly this Land Rover with flashers of the freeway: “once on a road someone to fix the car.” Obviously going a caravan attached to it came hurtling trip to France I mooned at tourists at to ask at the local grannies’ hang out for towards me. I nearly crashed, but lucki- ‘The motorway has replaced the the Eiffel tower.” And flashing is not the complex car repairs is all part of the fun ly just swerved into a hedge.” However, only way to get attention from the of car journeys. Once Vicky was put this seemingly disastrous situation jousting tournament in sorting opposite sex while moving at illegal safely back on the road she realised that proved to be the making of Vicky and speeds to an awesome soundtrack. A despite all the help the bingo-playing her fellow road trippers’ journey. “The the men from the boys: the M1 member of a sports team, who wishes to locals of Skegness could offer her the man in the Land Rover came to the remain nameless, confesses that on a car was not completely road safe and “it hedge to see if we were ok and when he is the battlefield of this century’ sports tour she and her team mates held conked out again and we ended up in a realised we had gone camping without up her friend’s number to the window of ditch full of Skegness cows”. camping gear he left his caravan in the their coach to a group of soldiers. The Full of danger, excitement, courage field so we could spend the night in it”. Will Sewell deems that road trips resulting textual relations didn’t result in the face of adversity, potential, Incidents such as this illustrate the fact should contain “really loud music and in a lasting love, but this brief flirtation though fleeting, romance, and the ele- that as long as you have music you will lots of cars and lots of speed”; the third definitely enhanced their general ment of surprise that accompanies any need nothing else to sustain you on your year archaeologist adds “dig it”. It seems motoring experience. journey, a road trip encompasses all jaunt through the hills and valleys of that volume is synonymous with quan- Having reached a destination, even that a gap year has to offer except in a our green and pleasant land. tity and, unlike small car manufactur- if it was not the one you intended, you shorter time, with less spectacular Of course Pocahontas is not every- ers, he would have you believe bigger is may spend your time as you wish. views and without the humanitarian one’s first choice for the soundtrack to definitely better. “If you are in a convoy Richard Salthouse, Uni football legend, aspect. Equally, just like with gap years, their motoring excursions. In fact many it’s good ‘cos they can do lots of overtak- has a few tips: “I went to Camber Sands the incessant retelling of the japes you choose to make tapes to accompany ing and talking to each other”. with friends once where we enjoyed had on your various outlandish, wild them on whichever autobahns and auto Definitely it seems that convoys are the ourselves by digging holes. I dug a hole and positively mad-cap road trips is routes they choose to frequent. Laura flavour of the month when it comes to so deep that water seeped in, so it was best kept to a minimum. 27/06/06 Comment M11 RebeccaGower

Small, boring and cliquey: why I will miss the University of Dork

reckon that I’m probably in (and apologies to anyone who’s Challenge. the minority when I say that ever had the misfortune to be in a I don’t think any of it’s true. I’ve found finishing my seminar group with me). A lot of Admittedly, I spent my entire ado- Idegree to be a profoundly people seem to think that an lescence living in the middle of depressing experience. It’s down to English degree is a waste of three nowhere, with Perth as the nearest various reasons, not least the fact years, and most of the time I can’t centre of civilisation, so anywhere that while I had work to do, there be bothered to argue with them. would seem exotic after that. But I was a routine to my life, and I feel However, since the beauty of writ- can see some disadvantages to the rather bereft without it: I woke up ing this column means that I don’t city and university. Yes, there are the day after I’d handed in the last have to listen to anyone that dis- too many tourists, and yes, it rains of my assessed work and couldn’t agrees with me, here’s my view on a lot. quite accept the idea that I had it: transferable skills and vocations As far as I can see, there are nothing to do. and all the rest aside, my degree’s too many cyclists intent on mow- Still, it’s been a few weeks, and been brilliant. I reckon I’ve read at ing down pedestrians (but, in fair- somehow I’ve managed to fill my least one thing a term that I’ve ness, they might just be aiming for time. Our washing machine has, really enjoyed and would other- me, so I’ll let that complaint go). helpfully enough, chosen the wise never have come across, so, at The campus isn’t exactly beautiful, height of summer to collapse into the very least, I have a good idea of the geese can be, to put it politely, disrepair, so I’ve managed to kill a what kind of books to read – and hostile, and some of the accommo- few hours washing things by hand. which to avoid – for the rest of my dation leaves a lot to be desired. I tried doing some baking, and, life. Which, if you’re me, is invalu- Also, speaking as someone who’s having got through three separate able. never had, or wanted to have, any cake recipes, I reckon I’m pretty Anyway, being a student is, involvement in student politics at much set for life. (Besides, while generally, quite a privilege. It’s not all, I’d say that the SU and the home baking is very nice, and all, just the discounts, and the freedom JCRCs are cliquey and quite far nothing really beats that straight- to make your own schedule (when, removed from the majority of actu- in the future, am I ever going to be al students. able to watch all of the Wimbledon None of that matters too ‘I’ve found in the matches?); without wanting to much, though. I still think that the sound like an advert for the SU, city is lovely. I mean, if you want to past years that university gives you the chance to live relatively cheaply in a place take up all manner of bizarre activ- where the crime rate’s not that bad, ities, and to pursue whatever inter- you could do a lot worse than com- students are very ests you personally. And, of course, ing to York. Especially if you want you meet a lot of people. I don’t to come to a university that ranks quick to complain know, maybe I’m just seeing every- in the country’s top ten overall. thing in a warm nostalgic glow Personally, I’m not bothered by the about York’ before I’ve even left, but it seems to night life issue, because I’m too me that studenthood is a pretty The York University graduates of 2006 will soon be unleashed lazy to go out, and as for shops, from-the-cellophane taste, as far as good stage in life. generalisation, but what I’ve found to do; the university itself is too well, there are more than enough I’m concerned. Also, there’s con- I won’t only miss being a stu- in the past three years is that York small, there aren’t enough stu- bookshops to keep me happy. So siderably less risk of salmonella dent. I will also – and I’m almost students are very keen to complain dents, it’s too boring. We’re the yes, I’m going to miss York; all in poisoning that way, and the overall certain that I’m in the minority this about York. It’s too small, too University of Dork and it’s almost all, it provides rather a good deal presentation tends to be a lot bet- time – miss York, as a place to live. provincial, the shopping and night shameful to be here. Especially as for a university. But I won’t miss ter.) As I write this, the Queen’s This is something of a sweeping life are laughable, there’s nothing we’re so bad at University the negativity about it. tennis tournament is on the televi- sion, so Wimbledon is just around the corner, ready to eat up my time. And I’ve been reading, a lot. After three years of an English degree, I World Cup mania’s taking over my TV can’t quite bear the thought of any- thing academic (not for the notice that the World Cup is when my receipt came up on ing of Christ. I thought the point meaning that the drugs story cov- moment, anyway), so, having had a ongoing. I could hardly miss screen, the item was listed along was that the man didn’t make the ered by Tom Clarke (the lovely sci- period of concentrating on rubbish it, of course, as the BBC and with a “FREE England car flag!” I team. But what do I know? ence correspondent; my joint romantic fiction, I’ve now started IITV seem to be competing as tried to get rid of it, but apparent- Anyway, as I say, I was trying favourite reporter, along with on crime novels. Pathetically to who can show the most matches ly, there was no way of removing it to be good-natured about it all. But Faisal Islam, the business corre- enough, a couple of them have in a single day, and my brother from the order. Frankly, this sud- this evening, the main news item spondent) was shunted into sec- really freaked me out. But I’m rang me in great excitement to tell den proliferation of a national flag on Channel Four News was that ond place. It’s just not right. When toughening up. me that England were the that has dubious associations is England had beat Trinidad and it was the Ashes, the cricket was Keeping myself occupied has- favourites to win the competition. more than a little depressing. But Tobago (oh, happy day), and the only ever mentioned in passing; n’t stopped me feeling depressed, My housemates (all female) I’ve tried to look on the bright side: first fifteen minutes was devoted to that’s how sports reporting on the though, because I’m going to miss have expressed varying degrees of there’s something rather comical in this seminal piece of news. And news should be. God help us if being a student. Again, I’m proba- ire about the football. I can see the way that the nation’s sports that’s the point at which my toler- England actually do win the Cup. bly in the minority, but I’ve actual- where they’re coming from: I tried commentators seem to regard ance dried up. It’s not even a story, Still, I can’t see it happening. That ly found a lot of the modules I’ve to buy a computer part off the Wayne Rooney’s recovery from as such, yet Krishnan Guru- accursed ‘Believe’ campaign from done to be genuinely interesting internet a couple of weeks ago, and injury as akin to the second com- Murthy had to try to analyse it, Mars hasn’t cracked me yet. M12 Edinburgh Fringe 27/06/06 M13 Making their mark: the York invasion of the Fringe

emphasis on Joe’s love, rather than his his inbox. “I got in touch with a few peo- York’s own local rag: “Some of that stuff Jo Shelly outlines the best of the rest of the Jo Shelly talks to Will Bowry and Nick desire, for the child. ple who, although they wanted to remain is really inappropriate. Reading the York “It’s all very sensitively written and anonymous, openly wanted to be consid- Press, for example, every day they seem plays making the trip from York to Edinburgh Payne about taking their new play on very understated – there’s nothing ered as paedophiles,” he explains. “They to have a big headline saying, ‘lock this graphic or gratuitous, because that let me send them questions and they guy up’. What are they saying – that we would be sensationalising it,” offers Nick. responded.” should all walk around in fear, that we his summer York sends its first comedy twenty-first century consumers. Unfortunately, paedophilia to Edinburgh “The sort of response I want is a genuine, An initial, instinctive disgust at should all be panicked? I just don’t quite show to the Fringe under the directorship God’s return to earth to prove his existence to emotive response, not, ‘oh that was horri- what the men told him soon developed understand the logic.” of Robbie Dale and with a hefty £4,500 unbelievers is overshadowed by the appearance of ble, that was disgusting.’ I don’t want into an intellectual interest in paedophile He presents Cild as a theatrical anti- Tworth of backing from the University an suave, suit-wearing impostor God who talks that at all.” The project, he continues, psychology. “It has been quite grim – I’d dote to this tabloid frenzy. “It’s trying to Alumni Fund. Chipping Stortford Goes Large: the talk as well, if not better, than the real thing. ew taboos remain in theatre, but not high on their list of concerns and was “just about writing something that be lying if I said it wasn’t – but it has also get rid of this image of ‘stranger danger’ The Bid For City Status (Sweet Grassmarket, 4th- Cue what Chris (who was planning to shave his there is one that is rarely tackled people’s disapproval barely registers. represents how a paedophile may feel been pretty fascinating,” he says. Of the – men in long coats lurking at school 27th August) revolves around the crusade of a vil- trademark long hair off to help cover the £4,000 on stage. Paedophilia is not obvi- Both issues, in any case, quickly dis- and how they might express themselves.” people he and Will came into contact gates – and get past it, really, because lage, based on Heslington, to get itself onto the budget) admits are “some really bad puns” and Fous material for a sensitive, integrate at the prospect of being a part So what is it that drives someone to with, a number were part of a paedophile from the research I’ve done that’s not map. It will certainly be the most visible to the- affectionately blasphemous slapstick to balance searching drama, and offstage it can pro- of what Will calls the “real, thriving envi- spend months exploring this, something liberation faction which likened itself to really what happens. Obviously it goes atre-goers in Edinburgh; the cast are taking the out the brainwork: his rule, as writer and director, voke reactions from sickened disgust to ronment for debate” that is the that the rest of us try not to think about? the gay rights movement of the last cen- him to use for a wife. If you removed the Nick Payne and on, but only in an absolute minority of show to the streets between performances, using was that “for every reference to nineteenth centu- venomous public hysteria. Yet Nick Edinburgh Festival. “It’s always about trying to push our- tury and believed that, in another hun- word ‘boy’ or ‘girl’ and replaced it with Will Bowry dis- abuse and molestation cases.” banners, balloons and petitions to campaign for ry philosophy, somebody had to fall over.” His Payne and Will Bowry, two York under- Nick had just finished the script of selves,” explains Nick, while Will says he dred years, sexual relations between ‘man’ or ‘woman’ it would almost be quite cuss the script. “I don’t think that you’re ever going the fictional place to become “Britain’s next view is that “theatre’s there to entertain… it’s not graduates heading for the Edinburgh Cild (the world for child in Anglo-Saxon) was inspired to take on the challenge of adults and children would become the endearing.” Photo by Georgi to solve the problem of why society has metropolis”. “The kind of comedy we’re going for to be taken too seriously, really.” Fringe Festival this summer, have when we met and, from his description, tackling a “very dangerous topic” by see- socially accepted norm. Both naturally Neither director nor playwright can Mabee the problem of paedophiles and how we is like Brass Eye,” says Dale of the play, “some- From religion to television, What’s the devised a play that probes the illicit and it is indeed much more subtle than sug- ing an “atrocious” play about rape at the “absolutely disagree” with this idea but, hide their disdain towards the tabloid should treat them if you’re hung up on thing that’s a bit more intelligent rather than just Question? (C Central, 20th-28th August), written illegal desire of a grown man for a young gested by the pre-show publicity, which National Student Drama Festival in through other discussions, they found media for what they see as the encour- this one image of a mythical, horrible ‘ha, ha, cock’ or whatever. It sounds wank, but by Kimberley Datnow and Stuart Young, is anoth- girl without, they believe, becoming a shouted “vigilante attacks, abuse and Scarborough. that their assumptions about pae- agement of vigilantes in the wake of the child snatcher, unless you’re willing to thematically it’s sort of a satire on ‘Pop Idol’ cul- er comedy that parodies the interactive game platform from which to condemn or con- self-proclaimed innocence”. The reasons Both were spurred on, however, by dophiles were being confronted and Sarah Payne case, though Bowry offers understand or at least begin to talk to ture and people believing they can do what they show. Boasting a host with “David Dickinson’s done. Instead, by questioning received that Joe (Ed Watson), the accused, has the research they did into paedophilia challenged. that the average Festival-goer “probably them on a basic human level. If you are want even though they haven’t got any talent.” orange tan, Alan Partridge’s personality and a notions of love between adults and chil- moved up to the north of England are before starting to write the play. This “What was interesting was the way tends more towards the broadsheets”. so repulsed by paedophiles that you are There were questions over whether Will really bad magenta suit” it plans to draw audi- dren, it asks how the line between sexual only gradually uncovered through his involved reading government reports that they spoke,” says Will. “One guy, They condemn the News of the World’s never willing to actually listen to what Seaward would make it to Edinburgh with his ences to its ten a.m. showing by giving away attraction and sexual abuse may become interactions with his brother, played by and meeting with Dr. Carol-Ann when he spoke about his feelings for campaign to “name and shame” abusers they say and point out the flaws in their production of Bouncy Castle Hamlet (Rocket @ bizarre prizes in the interval and free coffee blurred and, in a test of the generally lib- Tom Hunt, and two siblings who live in Hooper, a specialist in child abuse children, used the kind of for cultivating a fear factor that led to kind of logic, and you just shove them in Demarco Roxy Art House, 3rd-19th August); last before start. All the characters, which include a eral, un-shockable Fringe audiences, his new block of flats, Katie Kelly and and protection at the University, eloquent and affectionate attacks on suspected offenders. prisons, you are never going to tackle the week he was lacking the most vital piece of stag- Jamaican grandmother, devoted Christian, BNP attempts to investigate the psyche of a John Hoyle. but it also, for Nick, meant trying terms that you would have Although Will tactfully submits that problem properly. To write them off as ing and an actor in the lead role. Now, however, supporter and college professor, cohere to form paedophile. The revelation that the relationship to contact a number of self-con- expect- “it’s a very, very difficult monsters, I can understand, obviously, the first year English student has got hold of a what Stuart claims is “a genuinely original idea”. It is a brave move, especially for a he has unwillingly left behind him was fessed ‘paedophiles’ over the inter- ed subject to be able to get the because it’s such an emotional subject, bouncy castle and a Hamlet and the play has Two children’s productions are also going to student writer and director. A non-sen- with a pre-pubescent girl is delayed net. To his surprise, after his dividing line”. Nick but I think that it’s important to go the quickly become the bookies favourite to win that Edinburgh: Alice Through the Looking Glass sationalist view of paedophiles, associat- almost until the end; and, important- first e-mail, respons- speaks adamantly of next step and say, ‘why did you do this – elusive media review, following pre-show men- (Bedlam Theatre, 3rd-19th August), directed by ed in the public consciousness with fig- ly, it is never explicitly con- es quickly began to his scorn for the cre- what do you believe you’ve done?’ I want- tions in The Guardian, The Times and The Alison Neighbour, and Fantastic Mr. Fox (C ures like Ian Huntley, is not one often firmed as having been sexu- arrive in ation of fear in the ed to write something that could re- Scotsman as a festival “oddity” to watch out for. Central, 4th-19th August), directed by Ollie made in the public forum, and a month’s al. Nick’s aim was to allow national media establish a channel of communication.” The idea for BCH, which, Will confirms, “does Jones. Both have adapted their stories in original run at the Fringe is far from a three-day the audience to explore Joe’s and even The cast of Cild will do a reading of exactly what it says on the tin”, came to him while ways. Lewis Carroll’s dark fairytale is accompa- stint in the comfort of the Drama Barn, character, “who has lost this the play at 6pm in the Dixon Studio on mulling over the original play at a children’s nied by specially composed music and uses pup- with much more – a £5,000 budget, to relationship and who Tuesday 27th June. Tickets cost £2. birthday party in Argentina. It’s now stretched to pets, while the adaptation of Roal Dahl’s eighties be exact – riding on the response they you engage with”. a £6,000 budget and involves trampolines, rope children’s classic will project animations of the receive. He wanted to ladders and pogo sticks (for a publicity bounce characters of the Fox and ‘Boggis and Bunce and When I meet Nick, the writer, and put the around Edinburgh’s Royal Mile). A visual distor- Bean’ with the features of the actors playing them. Will, the director, however, it tion of the original play, then; will this, together The final word goes to Return of the Actor becomes clear that The Edinburgh Fringe Festival has with Will’s “philosophy of directing – that you (Rocket @ Demarco Roxy Art House, 7th-19th money is been running since 1947. can’t respect the text at all”, make Shakespeare’s August), a full-throttled farce following the trag- best-known tragedy completely unrecognisable? ic misfortunes of two well-meaning but danger- Recent York plays to go to Edinburgh Somehow, Will also plans to perform in ously incompetent backstage assistants. include Candide in 2003, which the Chris Bush’s quick-fire com- Described by director Kate Lovell as “cathartic Edinburgh Guide rated as five out of six. edy Man and God (Smirnoff comedy for other Fringe performers”, it’s designed Baby Belly, 3rd-27th “to make people laugh and lose themselves for 45 August)), which starts half minutes. It has no pretensions and is what an hour after his own the Fringe is all about, performing and production finishes. sharing high-quality, entertaining the- (“Luckily,” he assures us, atre with theatre-lovers from “the costumes of the around the world.” Ghost and God are quite To book tickets, visit similar.”) Despite the www.edfringe.com. title, this play, which ran at the Drama Barn back in May, isn’t serious, issue- based theatre of the intensely philosophical variety; Edinburgh audi- ences can expect gently thought-provoking wit- ticisms on religion, the Left: A column media and the cult of covered with celebrity, but not a spiritual epiphany. flyers shows the Chris’s heaven runs plethora of as a corporate acts. Photo by enterprise that, in Tom King ‘reality’, is controlled Right: The by two angels acting as image consultants castle provides to make an out-of- an impressive touch, grandfather backdrop to the God appeal to fringe M14 Arts 27/06/06 J.M. Coetzee’s The power of the introduction for the Nobel Prize author: Coetzee as

‘Your Majesties,Your Royal Highnesses, Esteemed tongue cut out. His life is recounted by Susan Nobel Laureates, Ladies and Gentlemen. Barton: that is, through 'white writing', the title of To write is to awaken counter-voices within one of Coetzee's books. the silent observer oneself, and to dare enter into dialogue with However hard we attempt to grasp Michael them. The dangerous attraction of the inner self and Friday, they have been made, by Coetzee, is John Coetzee's theme: the senses and bodies unsullied by interpretation. They remain silent. of people, the interiority of Africa. "To imagine But between the lines,in what is unspoken,there the unimaginable" is the writer's duty. As a post- is a distillation of feelings uncommon in contem- In a rare public appearence, the Nobel modern allegorist, Coetzee knows that novels porary literature. that do not seek to mimic reality best convince The myth of the survivor on a desert island prize winning author, J.M. Coetzee, made us that reality exists. is the only story there is, Coetzee once said. Coetzee sees through the obscene poses Several of his books treat similar solitudes. Is it a trip to York. Toby Hall explores the man and false pomp of history, lending voice to the possible to stand outside history? Does freedom silenced and the despised. Restrained but stub- from the diktat of authority exist? "I don't like who remains controversial yet distant born, he defends the ethical value of poetry, lit- accomplices. God, let me be alone," says Jacobus erature and imagination.Without them,we blink- Coetzee in the first novel, Dusklands, rejoicing in n anonymous academic leans his art is central to Coetzee’s work, and er ourselves and become bureaucrats of the being abandoned. But he remains the tool of his- across a row of chairs in the I got the impression that this has never soul. tory, and what compels the natives to take him Jack Lyons concert hall and been a purely a matter of literary style John Coetzee's characters seek refuge seriously is his victorious violence.He does, how- Anudges me. “If someone set for him – it is a political, and moral, beyond the zones of power. Life and Times of ever, ask himself whether the blacks populate a fire to this place there would be a lot of dilemma. There is a powerful belief Michael K. gives form to the dream of an individ- wonderful world closed to his own senses: jobs going in postcolonial studies at that it is through art that one can truly ual outside the fabric of human coexistence. "Perhaps I have killed something of inestimable departments all over the country”, he express the complexities of human Michael K. is a virgin being, viewing the world value." grins. interaction, and that the current crises from an infinite remove. Although exposed to Coetzee's work runs like a high-tension The sense of humour may a little the world faces are the result of an the violence of racist tyranny, he achieves cable across an inhospitable South African land- odd, but he’s got a point, of sorts. The abandonment of these values. Through through passivity a freedom that confounds scape. Mrs. Curran in Age of Iron has witnessed publicity surrounding JM Coetzee’s his reading, Coetzee brands the both the apartheid regime and the guerrilla monstrous actions but is unable to condemn appearance and reading of previously American legal teams who defend forces simply because he wants nothing: neither them using the words of others. Neither will unseen material at York has led to an Guantanamo Bay as “literature stu- war nor revolution, neither power nor money. Coetzee himself sign petitions or join in political unprecedented interest and turnout of dents who got mediocre grades, whose Waiting for the Barbarians is a disturbing rallies. academics, students and fans of litera- tutors believed that they never really love story about wanting to possess another per- In the dystopian novel Disgrace, David Lurie ture. understood the texts they studied,” son and to turn that person inside out as though does not achieve creativity and freedom until, merely going through the motions of she were a riddle to be solved.Everyone who has stripped of all dignity, he is afflicted by his own literary analysis. They then stripped recognised the threat of totalitarianism and felt shame and history's disgrace. In this work, ‘His reading brands these analytical skills of any subtlety or the desire to own another person can learn from Coetzee summarises his themes: race and gen- sentiment in order to construct neat Coetzee's dark fables. With intense concreteness der, ownership and violence, and the moral and the legal teams who arguments for the justification of tor- and verbally disciplined desperation, he tackles political complicity of everyone in that border- ture.During moments like these it one of the great problems of the ages: under- land where the languages of liberation and rec- defend Guantanamo became a conscious effort to realise standing the driving forces of brutality, torture onciliation carry no meaning. that what we were hearing was not and injustice. Every new book by Coetzee is astonishingly Bay as “literature Coetzee’s views, but those of a fictional Who does the writing, who seizes power by unlike his others. He intrudes into the uninhabit- character mediated through his art. taking pen in hand? Can black experience be ed spaces of his readers. In his autobiographies, students who got This calculated effect brings us back to depicted by a white person? In Foe, Friday is an he pitilessly ransacks his former selves. In his the core of his artistic and political African, already dehumanised by Defoe. To give essay-novel Elizabeth Costello he combines, with mediocre grades”’ project, and seemed to me the only way speech to Friday would be to colonise him and uninhibited humour and irony, contemporary to understand the reading. Coetzee is deny him what remains of his integrity.The girl in narrative and myth, philosophy and gossip. often labelled as the voice of the impas- Waiting for the Barbarians speaks an unintelligi- Dear John Coetzee, The idea of such high demand for sioned observer, placed in an existen- ble language and has been blinded by torture; Your work is limited in pages, limitless in an English lecture that tickets have to tial crisis when confronted with the Michael K has a harelip and Friday has had his scope.What I have said in Swedish to those pres- be requested weeks in advance may extremities of human behaviour and ent here is merely in so many words:"Don't listen seem absurd to students more used to cruelty. to me, just go home and read, and some images lie-ins than 9.15s, but rarely has the Yet there is an uneasiness about will stay with you forever." department pulled off such a coup with tackling the questions raised in his In your own life, you have recently moved a guest lecturer. The news made novels as a true outsider – that is to say, along the very latitude that unites Cape Town national papers, and staff were on hand from a disinterested political perspec- and Adelaide. You may have left South Africa; it to try and protect their visitor by pre- tive. Coetzee’s character rages against will hardly leave you. For the Swedish Academy, venting photographs and transcripts of Bush and US foreign policy, yet he is national roots are irrelevant and we do not rec- the talk. equivocal about Harold Pinter’s impas- ognize what in Europe is often called the literary The South African novelist was in sioned Nobel Prize acceptance speech. periphery. the United Kingdom for only 48 hours, He points out the danger of fighting You are a Truth and Reconciliation enticed into one of his legendarily rare politicians on their own ground, not Commission on your own, starting with the basic public appearances at the request of least because ‘they will be better than words for our deepest concerns. Unsettling and two old friends now working at York. you – they’ve had years of practice’ in surprising us, you have dug deeply into the Coetzee and Professors David Attwell the field of justifying the unjustifiable. ground of the human condition with its cruelty and Derek Attridge from the English It is hard to imagine two more dissimi- and loneliness. You have given a voice to those department go back over two decades, lar figures – Pinter, with his fiery outside the hierarchies of the mighty.With intel- and while the novelist observed that he renunciation of his writing in favour of lectual honesty and density of feeling, in a prose had been “looking forward to visiting politics, and Coetzee, who continues to of icy precision, you have unveiled the masks of one of the foremost literature depart- write, delivering his reading in tones as our civilization and uncovered the topography of ments in the UK,” it is no coincidence succinct and measured as his prose. evil. that Attridge heads it. Indeed, the Indeed, his works seem more careful I would like to express the warmest whistle-stop tour fitted around a walk and judiciously constructed as time congratulations of the Swedish along the Yorkshire coastline, and a goes on, and the latest novel, Slow Academy as I now request chance to catch up with ‘two old friends Man, could be seen as an exploration of you to receive this from the old days’. this idea. Nevertheless, the two artists year's Nobel Prize for Years ago JM Coetzee told David are linked by the powerful moral com- Literature from the Attwell that “All autobiography is story- pass which guides both men’s lives, and hands of His Majesty telling, all writing is autobiography”, it is unsurprising that Coetzee should the King.’ and the theory seems just as applicable have chosen to use Pinter to discuss the to his work today, as Coetzee presented problematic combination of politics fragments of a forthcoming book in the and art. form of a fictional diary. The distance It would be wrong to leave the the author places between himself and impression that Coetzee’s reading 27/06/06 Arts M15

J.M. Coetzee was born in South Africa, but often rejects critics trying to pigeonhole him as a ‘South African’ author with its political associations. Photo by Toby Hall ‘Coetzee maintains Coetzee’s bibliography holding oneself to In the Heart of the Country Waiting for the Barbarians account, whilst Set in the oppressive atmosphere of The Magistrate is the servant of the saving the human colonial South Africa, a lonely sheep Empire and has long been running farmer seeks companionship from a the affairs of a small frontier settle- and ephemeral’ black concubine. This has severe ment. However, he has neglected the repercussions when the farmer’s likely prospect of war between the painted a picture of an author grap- spinster daughter Magda expresses Empire and barbarians. When inter- pling with only the largest of political her disgust, with the inter-racial rela- rogation experts arrive, though his issues and crises. Man’s relationship with his natu- tionship threatening to end an sympathies switch to the barbarians. ral world provides a consistent moral already unstable peace. barometer in his work and it is against this backdrop that we were introduced The Life and Times of Michael K Disgrace to ‘Niet Verloren’, a traditional farm, Michael K journeys with his mother Coetzee’s second Booker Prize winner rendered obsolete by technological and ideological progress and only back to her country home. tells the story of a tutor David Lurie’s maintained as a monument to a previ- Unfortunately she dies en route, leav- retreat to his daughter’s farm after ous era. The focus on the minutiae of ing her son to survive amidst anarchy the fallout of an affair with a student. rural life and its repetition of names, and rebel fighting. Michael is impris- The farm is isolated, yet the pair are places, and archaic agricultural terms oned, but, driven by claustrophobia, not immune from brutal and disturb- served as a eulogy to a passing age. This is a balance which Coetzee always manages to escape and regain some ing attacks. These attacks serve to strives to maintain – morally holding dignity. A Booker Prize winner. highlight their flaws and insecurities. one to account, while preserving the human and ephemeral. M16 Cookery 27/06/06 A harvest of literary talent For one weekend every year a sleepy village in Wales is transformed as the Hay-On-Wye literary festival descends, as Holly Williams discovered

Everything you think you know he Hay Festival might not seem to temptation of imitation. have much in common with your Their conversation was lively, and about tomato soup is a lie! classic summer festival – there’s no Saunders came across as that rare breed, the Tdanger here of anyone dressed as a self-deprecating American: his response to fairy offering you drugs, the toilets are a civ- Smith eulogising his style was to suggest that Tomato soup does not come from a tin. In about chopping it up too finely. ilized affair and the focus is on general books “the style thing was a gradual embracing of fact, what Heinz and others pass for tomato 2. Set the stove to medium heat and put the rather than raucous rock. But arriving on the my own defects”. He continually – and with soup is something sickly sweet, loaded with butter in a saucepan. Once the butter is Saturday morning, there is one thing already great humor - played down his own intelli- additives, and very unlike the real thing. quiet, add the vegetables and let fry for a in common – mud. Well, this is Wales after gence, and saw his personal style as the Cooking this soup yourself is actually cheap- minute or two. all, and returning to my soggy homeland, I’d product of failing to be able to write like any- er than buying the tinned variety, and while 3. Pour the tinned tomatoes into the expect nothing less. one he admired. Saunders impulse is “pri- you do spend a bit more time preparing it, saucepan on top of the vegetables. When Bill Clinton visited the festival a marily comedic”, yet he also explored the the flavour just can’t be compared. 4. Let the soup simmer for 10 minutes. few years ago, he declared it ‘the Woodstock growing need, coming with age, to be less To make the time spent per portion 5. When the 10 minutes are up, add water of the mind’, and while this has become its cynical, to get away from the “automatic, ratio more attractive, make a larger batch until you achieve the desired thickness. most over-used tagline, the name holds dysfunctional ‘life sucks’ attitude of and freeze the leftovers in portion-sized tup- 6. Season with oregano, honey, salt, and pep- some truth. The festival, which started in American fiction.” But being positive about perware containers. It will taste fine per. Check you’re happy with the flavour. 1988, has grown massively and now includes life without being gushy ain’t easy, and he microwaved or you can melt the block in a 7. Pour the soup into a food processor, and a truly diverse and inspiring line-up, taking left us pondering the question “How do you saucepan and heat to simmering point. blend until smooth. in politicians and poets, artists and actors, 8. Let the soup rest for 5 minutes before comedians and columnists, and even the odd serving, as the flavours won’t come through raucous rock band, suggesting that it has as Tomato soup if it’s burning hot. Serve with a dash of more to offer than initially meets the eye. (serves 3) soured cream in each bowl, to soften the While the first event I went to was mostly chilli punch. populated by oldies in anoraks, happily Ingredients: clutching their free Guardian Reviews (the A bunch of spring onions (around 150 g) Serving tips: paper sponsors the whole event, a fact it 2 onions To make this into a substantial meal, why would be impossible to remain oblivious to) 1 green chilli not serve with a doorstop cheese sandwich, the Hay Festival has much to offer the 1 tablespoon of butter cheese on toast or cheese toastie? intrepid student. I say intrepid, because it is 2 tins of chopped tomatoes a bit of trek from York – or anywhere really – 140 ml water Posh version: slice some french bread or cia- to Hay-on-Wye, a market town on the Welsh 1 tablespoon of honey batta lengthways and grill until slightly border. But although this might be a bit of an oregano toasted then add cheese and grill until bub- effort, with the chance of free tickets for stu- salt and pepper bling and golden. dents and a line-up that really does rival 140 ml soured cream your average musical festival (PJ Harvey, Student alternative: your standard student Zadie Smith, Jimmy Carr, Beth Orton, Al Instructions: cheese toastie- dip the corners in your soup, Gore and Seamus Heaney to name but a few) 1. Start out with chopping the onions, the you know you want to! it seems a shame there aren’t more young spring onion, and the chilli – don’t worry By Johan Carlin faces about. “Hay-On-Wye is the With the rain beating a steady pattern on the roof of the marquee, my Hay experi- Woodstock for the ence for 2006 got off to a thoroughly enjoy- able start with Simon Callow talking on his mind” - Bill Clinton on NOUSE recently completed second volume of an his visit to the festival www. .co.uk Orson Welles biography. While Callow explored Welles’ somewhat destructive capacity for myth making, it seems he, like stay funny, stay taught, while wanting to get Visit our relaunched website where many biographers before him, has fallen in some of the luminosity of life?” you are now able to: somewhat under Welles’ spell. Zadie Smith, With the afternoon turning out a bit next up, came face to face with someone sunnier, we headed into the town of Hay-on- POST comments on articles whose spell she had certainly fallen under, Wye itself, a town dedicated to books. READ exclusive web specials American short story writer George Despite appearing small enough to explore ACCESS our library of photos Saunders. Their conversation often returned in an afternoon, there are over 30 book- to the admiration of others’ styles, and Smith shops, making it a browser’s paradise and EXPLORE the print archive flagged up the epidemic of the GSSS (George great for getting hold of course books on the DISCUSS in the new forum Saunders style story), admitting she had to cheap. The town was heaving, and alive with stop herself, as well as her American creative buskers and street-theatre, on what is surely writing students, from falling prey to the the only week of the year any of the book- 27/06/06 Arts M17

For fifty one weeks of the year, Hay-On-Wye (or Y Gelli as it is called in Wales) is a quiet and picturesque market village nestling in the valleys. Photo by Justin Williams shops can make a profit. The town is over- wine is much more important.” Jovial Atwood, it was actually the new - and dis- Polanski, of course, the subject is an intense- looked by the castle, and up there too is the throughout, Davies never took himself too tressingly young and beautiful - faces whose ly personal one. He described how the scene heart-warming Honesty Bookshop – basical- seriously, even singing the soundtrack to a work made the most impact. Tishani Doshi’s in The Pianist where the protagonist is ly bookshelves, a couple of tin money boxes scene from Line of Beauty when the techni- poetry of dislocation tackled both personal pulled out of the crowd heading for the con- and a bit of faith in human nature. cal equipment failed. Sadly, the same could crisis and issues of culture and gender, while centration camp and told, when escaping, Our stimulating first day continued not be said for interviewer Peter Florence, Owen Shears work seemed appropriate, with “don’t run – walk” by a helping solider was back at the festival site (a field) with whose convoluted and often pretentious the first poem dealing with sheep castration! directly based on his own war-time experi- Germaine Greer. Having reservations about questions were a confusion to the audience The evening ended with the marvelous Hugo ence in Krakow. Yet, again, the conversation her, and her apparent courting of controver- and guests alike. Florence established the Williams, twinkly in tweed and jeans, pro- was thoroughly enjoyable to listen to, and sial topics (all that stuff about beautiful little festival 18 years ago, with the winnings from viding properly funny, very intelligent, the two men engaged in a bit of banter, and boys seemed somewhat suspicious…) I was a poker game, and is to be thanked for doing laugh-out-loud poetry. were full of anecdotes. Harwood described pleasantly surprised. Giving her annual so. However, as the only speaker I saw that Both Atwood and Heaney proved more his struggle with adapting the pianist: “I poetry master class, she explored the idea was on the annoying side of intellectual, he interesting within their own session howev- said, ‘Roman, I don’t know where to begin’. that “poetry is a masculine invention” should really let someone else interview, and er, and Atwood’s deliciously dry reading He said, ‘Look, it’s called the Pianist. Start through a detailed analysis of John Donne’s just silently bask in the glory of having set from her new darkly comic “short fiction” with him playing the piano.’” 19th Elegy. From the very beginning she the whole thing up. collection, the aptly named The Tent, My Hay Festival experience came to acknowledged our likely reaction to this If the festival sounds all a bit cerebral, prompted me to head to the on-site book- end, after several more inspiring speakers, “knee-jerk subject” , and was keen to make then a welcome change can be found in shop immediately after the session. Heaney with the electronic, imaginative noodlings of clear that she wasn’t slagging off men. Gifford’s Circus. Just outside of the town, its discussed his latest work, District and Circle, Wales’ own Super Furry Animals. The Instead she looked at the way the poem rep- new show, Joplin! takes place in proper big with an ex-pupil, the teasing Welsh Laureate restrained nature of the audience, who most- resented the confrontational sexual relation- top and includes horses, hula-hooping and Gwyneth Lewis. A calm and incredibly mod- ly stayed in their seats, meant that strolling ships between men and women. An excellent classic clowning, keeping true to its 1930’s, est man, for someone who’s already won the to the front of the crowd was easily done and speaker, she took a rigorous but entertaining village green, circus aesthetic. With its inspi- Nobel Prize for literature, Heaney spoke of there was plenty of room for a good boogie – approach and the hour was like just a really, ration being the “all out performance style the “sweet electricity of gratitude and fulfill- although I did seem to be standing next to really good university lecture - although she and full-tilt rock&roll life of Janis Joplin” the ment” that comes with completing a poem. the only two people left in the world for still managed to elicit the odd shockwave; show featured Cossack dancers in Jimi With the new addition of a cinema tent whom head banging is still the preferred the woman sitting next me gasped at the per- Hendrix outfits, an opera singing horse rider this year, the festival is going hi-tech, and dance move. The ‘Furries didn’t disappoint, tinent observation that “an erect prick has and the most impressive acrobatics I’ve ever this proved especially useful in Ronald and dancing was done to some classic hits, no conscience”. seen (two people juggling their own children Harwood’s talk. Playwright and screen- including ‘Juxtaposed with U’ and the Perhaps these literary types have a bit of with their feet), the show constantly took writer, Harwood is best known for his liter- anthemic ‘The Man Don’t Give a Fuck’. a pre-occupation with erections. Andrew your breath away, or slapped a great big ary adaptations for Polanski films (The Always sure to provide a good show, Gruff Davies, screenwriter for all those nice BBC smile on your face. And there was plenty of Pianist, Oliver Twist) and we gained unique and co were dressed in shiny blue satin boil- dramas (the legendary Pride and Prejudice, cause to smile after the show was over, as we insight into their working relationship, as er suits and projected a little video montage the addictive Bleak House and the beautiful, were invited to join the circus folk for an Polanski made an appearance himself, via of the Hay Festival, as well as a live feed of er, Line of Beauty), was asked about the after-party in the sawdust of the circus ring. live satellite link from Paris. They were clear- them careering around the site in a little same topic by interviewer Peter Florence: “Is With established ska band The Trojans pro- ly a close collaborative team and the slightly truck, which eventually drove into a van and it true that in Pride and Prejudice you viding some funky live sounds, we enjoyed odd Polanski described their relationship as away. included the direction ‘Darcy looks at the unique opportunity to skank with Will being like a pair of tango dancers: “it’s a As they waved goodbye to us, via video, Elizabeth and gets a hard-on?’” Davies Self in a big top (well, next to him anyway!) question of, as they say, “good vibes!’” These I knew I had to wave goodbye to Hay as well, answered with a resounding “Yes”. Stressing and it was late night before we wended our two intensive creative forces also share a and get back to my course reading and essays the importance of sex in adaptations, Davies way home through the windy back lanes. Jewish connection (“we tell a lot of Jewish and all you’re expected to get on with during suggested that for something to work on The next night also provided entertain- jokes while working”) and the holocaust is reading week. Still, I don’t think anything screen, you have to get the sex on the spine of ment, in the poetry gala on site where 8 clearly a pre-occupation for them both, with could be more inspiring, or so successfully the story. “Writers are scared of sex, and kid poets had 8 minutes each to read some of Harwood’s conviction that you cannot get me thinking and reading and writing. themselves it’s not centrally important which their work. While the gala boasted big “remind the world enough of the holocaust”, And I’m certainly planning to brave the mud it always is. Until you get to my age when names, in Seamus Heaney and Margaret even if we don’t want to be reminded. For again next year. M18 Arts 27/06/06 York’s thriving local arts scene

Hidden amongst the the tacky tourist shops,York harbours a number of more original artistic activities. Kirran Shah and Amy Blackmore explore the options

ork City is packed with endless sights and attractions; it is possible to spend a week, never mind a day, Ybrowsing the galleries and not to see everything. In a search to find some unique cultural attractions, we came across a dis- tinct number of mediocre showrooms des- perately trying to sell typically ornamental- clad paintings. The first of these was York Fine Arts, on Low Petergate, which held a disorganised assortment of Pre-Raphaelite prints, with shots of the Minster and surrounding coun- tryside. The landscape and architecture of York is presented in intricately decorated gold frames - endless appeal for tourists wanting a cheap reminder of their visit to the City. Even though the low ceilings and cosy wooden beams make the setting comfortable and add to York's array of listed buildings, it is incredibly cramped and makes it almost impossible to distinguish the skilful from the painfully detrimental works of art. Along with this, our advice is to stay away from The Coppergate Gallery, which sported numerous World Cup prints and flags. However, if you stumble across it, fear not because free access to valuable art is close by. York St. Mary's Church is the city’s leading contemporary art venue. Currently, it displays 'Echo,' an installation by Susie MacMurray, who has taken the beautiful medieval church as a basis for her emotive, contemplative art. She has used hairnets and horsehair from violin bows to construct a vessel of interpellation for the surveyor. Do not be put off by the seamless exterior façade of the Church and instead of being lured in by the misleading bargains of TopShop, take El Piano, with its mix of Latin and Spanish refreshments and crafts, is the perfect stopping point for an artistic day out a free perusal around this cherished art space. and original. The artist, Mark Braithwaite, art, but the ceramics and metalwork are shops will certainly tire out the credit cards, There is a tendency to assume that York can be regularly seen painting in Minster alternative presents that you will not find so when a cheap refreshment is essential, El Art Gallery is the only reputable place for Yard, and if you're into detailed landscapes of anywhere in the consistently plastic tourist Piano, on Grape Lane is a great way to finish exhibitions in the city, given its freshly deco- York, executed in a different light, it would shops. the day with its vibrant avid gallery space rated new learning facilities and a continen- be worth visiting. The classic red phone Last but not least, the Pyramid Gallery and cosy intimate décor. As a restaurant, café tal-style café. Despite its permanent collec- boxes scattered around Yorkshire caught our in Stonegate was difficult to find, but defi- and bazaar, it is packed with books, ceram- tion of art works, the gallery alternates its attention, painted to preserve their lost con- nitely worth a quick visit because of its calm ics, textiles, recycled fibre rugs and hand- exhibitions every couple of months to pro- nections. ‘The fire from Minstergates’ which atmosphere and well presented display of sil- made bags, just in case you still have a desire vide York City with up-to-date shows, many was Braithwaite’s dramatic ten year com- ver jewellery, ceramics and contemporary to spend your overdraft. As well as a mosaic from London’s National Gallery, such as memoration of the 1994 misfortune is a embroidery. Its minimalism is inviting and table, they have a peculiar wooden table that ‘Icons and Idols’ running from 1 July to 24 shocking portrayal of the reality of York's despite its modest size it has a spacious and allows you to carve your name into it when September. This exhibition is linked to 'The attractions. It provided a refreshing contrast relaxed ambience. you donate a pound to Amnesty Year of the Portrait', encouraging more peo- to York Fine Arts which preferred to sugar- If you are worried about the expenses of International. Unquestionably a friendly, coat the Minster with blue skies and tweet- indulging in fresh new art, the Arts Council ethical alternative to the many Starbucks lit- ing birds guaranteed. England, operating through 'Own Art,' offers tering our streets with manufactured ‘The ceramics and Close by, Image on High Petergate is a interest free loans ranging from £100 to muffins. very homely and welcoming craft shop - an £2,000, ideal for the student looking to El piano is an uncommonly personal metalwork are ideal place for original gifts ranging from invest in various modern arts and crafts. The South American/Spanish themed place. cheap prints, photo frames, carefully deco- art market in Yorkshire shows several oppor- Offering wholefood vegetarian and gluten- alternative presents rated glass bowls and an assortment of trip- tunities for everyone to own inventive high free specialities, it is suitable day and tych canvas transfer prints. The contempo- quality art in their homes, such as Open Air evening. Many of their crafts are imported that you will not find rary minimalistic 'gallery' is almost hidden Exhibitions. from Collage International in Granada, away, but is certainly not elitist and is right If by chance, summer returns, and you Spain, presenting a multi-cultural experi- in the consistently next door to the Porta Dextra Gallery, anoth- prefer to spend the day outside, take advan- ence that would complement any day out in er contemporary craft shop selling unique tage of the sunshine and appreciate art York. plastic tourist shops’ handmade crafts. through the one particular Open Air Art If you have a few spare days over the Many of Image’s designers are scattered Exhibition on the 1st and 2nd of July on summer holiday, take advantage of York's ple to gain access to works of art that would around Britain, displaying York's network of Parliament Street in the city centre. Local diverse cultural collections, because it is normally only be displayed in stately homes, connections, bringing in stained glass bowls, artists have the leisure to exhibit and sell important to support our local artists. Do such as Harewood House and colourful jewellery, and comical bird feeders their paintings, drawings and ceramics. 10% not be discouraged by the sheer quantity of Beningborough Hall. with grotesque facial expressions. Do have an of the sales will be donated to the Lord 'galleries,' all you need is to be selective and Next on your agenda, another reputable open mind before entering the Porta Dextra Mayor's Charity - a perfect way to make art careful, and remember, just because it says place we recommend is The Braithwaite Gallery, as it is a very unusual shop, yet has more accessible. 'gallery', doesn't mean that it's going to sell Gallery in Low Petergate, which was quirky gifts suitable for all. It is certainly not high Browsing the art galleries and craft exemplary art. 27/06/06 Reviews M19 Arts Reviews Amy Scott braves the turbulent elements for some Shakespeare in the Park , while our book reviewers come up with three summer reading suggestions for the beach

ummer’s here and with it has come ice cream, football and cism that left Wright’s mouth. These three robustly kept the com- meaning that many lines were lost simply because they were now, Shakespeare in the Park. With a run of five days in edy at a maximum without ever resorting to the annoying tenden- uttered too far upstage. Hull Road Park, Will Bowry’s production of Twelfth Night cy in modern Shakespearean comedies to rely on slapstick The delivery was perhaps a bit fast, and many of the cast Shad everything going for it: a beautiful setting, classic com- humour. struggled somewhat to deliver the verse. Lines often ran away edy and a talented cast. The one thing they were missing (this What would clearly be a gem of a production in the sunshine from the actors and lost their meaning. A bit more work on the being summertime in the north of England) was the weather. only further demonstrated its strengths through the conditions, actual text would have boosted the performance no end. In the run-up to opening night, sporadic and heavy showers for barely a line was lost to the wind and, even if the entire audi- But, overall, the cast were impressive. Havilah Gianetta was threatened the success of the production, and although the rain ence was freezing, not one of them seemed to care. outstanding as Titania, and with her commanding stage presence, held off, the wind certainly prevented the evening from being So now to A Midsummer Night's Dream in the Minster power and charisma, she was a joy to watch. Andy Birnie's quite the summertime joy it had promised to be. Residence Gardens, and to better weather if, perhaps, a less pol- bemused and mischievous Oberon made an amusing narrator to It would take something pretty special entirely to recover ished production. Sam Magdi Hana's production seemeed more events and the lovely Tamsin Urquhart's energetic performance from the influence of such unpleasant weather, and something aware of, and adapted to, its outdoor setting, though, making helped rescue this production from the noise pollution, with her special it was. There were strong performances from all the lead more use of levels and the surrounding flora and fauna than delightfully stroppy gesticulations and exasperation as the characters, with Sophie Larsman (Viola) and Tom Hunt’s Twelfth Night. The setting was also invaluable in helping to cre- spurned Helena. (Orsino) scenes together bubbling with chemistry, and the icy ate the illusion of fairy magic. The production had two Pucks, but But the real star of this show was Chris Hoyle in the role of Olivia (played by Becca Morgan) visibly melting in the presence of cleverly staged them so that when one disappeared behind a tree, Bottom. With a fine supporting cast of comic players, Hoyle's too- Cesario. the other would appear on the other side of the gardens. The short jacket, over the top delivery and masterful cluelessness real- However, it was really the supporting cast that made this manouvering was slickly executed by Emily Domaniewska and ly raised the game of the production as a whole. For a sunny sum- production such a joy, despite the wind. Special mention must go Thea O’Hear, who appeared to flit around the performance, with mer afternoon, you really couldn't ask for much more than this, to Lewis Charlesworth’s Feste, whose singing cannot accurately be engagingly sprightly movements. but I'm not sure it could have survived the wind. described as good, but was certainly hilarious, and who demon- However, with the amount of park space in York and the sur- Both productions successfully highlighted the fun and com- strated possibly the finest capering ever seen in North Yorkshire. rounding area, one wonders why the choice of location was so edy of Shakespeare’s words, while also revealing just how much of But it was the comic trio of Sir Toby Belch, Sir Andrew Ague inadequate. The cast were interrupted at least every 15 minutes, a challenge it can be just to make sense of the text and characters, and Maria (played by Matthew Lacy, Patrick Rogers and Rose not only by the Minster bells, but also by noisy tourists on the city especially when faced with the adverse effects of British summer- Wright respectively) that really stood out, whether it was Lacy walls, the nearby busy roads, later the England match in the pub time. Both are also going to be performing in Stratford in the appearing drunk complete with twigs up his nose, Rogers trying - behind the gardens and once, hilariously, by a cat. Although the coming weeks, as part of the Complete Works Festival - quite an and failing miserably - to duel, or every wry comment and witti- setting was picturesque, the audience was somewhat misplaced, opportunity, and one they richly deserve.

Reviewed by Reviewed by Reviewed by Valley of the Dolls Lucy Peden The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail Amy Milka Yes Man Klara Patterson

Jacqueline Susann £7.99 Michael Baignet, Richard Leigh £7.99 Danny Wallace £6.99 Virago and Henry Lincoln Delacorte Press Ebury Press

If you need a sleazy beach read but think you’re too cool for It seems the country is gripped with Dan Brown fever. I Wallace’s latest book is perfect reading material for the beach. Jackie Collins, you need to check out Jacqueline Susann’s remember my last few years working in a bookshop, watch- Its central premise is quite simply how our lives could be dra- trash masterpiece. The term ‘cult classic’ is horribly abused, ing The Da Vinci Code fly off the shelves, lamenting every matically altered were we to say ‘yes’ more frequently. but the novel is so deliciously sordid that it fully deserves copy of the ill-written, trashy phenomenon. I detest the term The positive philosophy behind the book neatly side- being categorised in that way. “summer reading”. So, while you’re lying on that sandy shore, steps the genre of self-help books in the witty and anecdotal Anne, Neely and Jennifer are three girls in New York why not dig into something slightly more meaty? nature of Wallace’s style. The book operates more as a diary who are desperate for stardom. Their stories overlap and The Holy Blood and the Holy Grail, Brown’s novel’s of one man’s year, and how he helped himself out of a post- intertwine but all involve huge amounts of bitchiness, lesbian predecessor by some thirty years, is filled with the kind of relationship slump. sex, deception, manipulation, failed marriages and drugs detail and evidence which he refuses us. I was amazed to find His ‘carpe diem’ mentality leads him to many bizarre sit- galore. that, despite its hugely controversial reputation, this was not uations, such as helping the son of a murdered Sultan sort The titular Dolls are not, as I had thought, a reference to just the report of some investigation, but a gripping tale, out his finances, joining a group that believe the pyramids the perfectionist standards of sixties Hollywood, but a slang beginning in nineteenth century France, with a parish priest’s were built by aliens, and undergoing hypnosis by Murphy the term for the uppers and downers imbibed, inhaled and startling discoveries in his church, and sweeping back hypnodog. ingested by the girls as they attempt to claw their way to the through the ages to the mysterious Templars and their rela- The quirky, offbeat comedy is embedded within a more top and stay there. tion to that elusive treasure, the Holy Grail. everyday narrative of pub trips and meetings. It is these down Susann captures and contrasts the energy of New York We are privy to the author’s thought patterns in a way to earth aspects that make the novel so appealing, and his with the languid drowsiness of California, and has an excel- which a fictionalisation of this issue could never allow. I was quest to change so easy to relate to. lent sense of both the comic and the tragic. The concept of intrigued to read that even now, when the legend of the Holy Wallace’s feigned naivety - and at times stupidity - is a feminism is conspicuous by its absence, as the story is essen- Grail appears to have assumed a mythical, antiquated status, slightly ineffective and problematic part of the text. Despite tially about strong, beautiful women being manipulated and individuals still exist with close links to the Templars and this, the book is cleverly written and endorses an outlook of destroyed by men, but Jennifer’s need for love is heart some potentially huge religious secret, and are, perhaps, still positivity that holds a resonance for us all - perhaps particu- wrenching, and Neely’s drunken lurch from man to man is concealing it. larly for us students whose time at university can appear so hilarious. This is a surprisingly easy read, and if you want some- brief. Who knows what the knock-on effect of joining that As a holiday accessory this goes with acid candy thing a little more worthwhile to get into this summer, I high- society, answering that email or going to that party (or even coloured wedges, enormous sunglasses and a Kir Royale. ly recommend it. lecture) could be . . ? M20 Reviews 27/06/06 Music Reviews

ing, particularly the towering ‘Baba O’Reilly’, The Who Reviewed by complete with Townshend’s trademark wind- Toby Green milling. The only time the 90 minute concert Live at the University flagged was during Townshend’s new rock Refectory,Leeds 17/06/06 opera, debuting tonight, when even Daltrey Singles looked like he wasn’t sure what was going on. However, fans of The Who are used to Townshend being the overbearing personali- Reviews ty; he made sure that everyone knew each After nearly forty years, The Who have song was written by him and even revealed returned to Leeds. They were playing at the how one song was “too crap” to do as part of University’s Refectory, the site at which their his solo work so he decided to record it with seminal Live at Leeds album was recorded, The Who. Yet his undeniable rock-star factor which is regarded by many as the best live remains a contrast to Daltrey, who sipped album ever. Surviving members Roger menthol tea and occasionally unbuttoned his Daltrey and Pete Townshend, together with shirt in the claustrophobic heat, although his Jim Noir, Eanie Meanie their band, which included Ringo Starr’s son, voice still stands the test of time. Well, this song is well timed if nothing else. Zak Starkey, played a set full of hits to an They finished with ‘Won’t Get Fooled Noir's JCB-esque summer song bops along intimate crowd to kick off their national tour. Again’, and sweaty middle-aged men nicely for three minutes without either seri- Exploding out of the blocks with ‘Who swooned in admiration at their heros. Classic ously offending or being particularly satis- Are You’, and following it up with ‘Can’t bands playing their old songs are often treat- factory. So if the middle of the road’s your Explain’, ‘The Seeker’ and ‘Substitute’ in a ed with contempt, but despite showing their position, then this song’s a winner. row, this was always going to be a gig with age, The Who still managed to thrill. The one eye fondly on the past. However, despite absence of Keith Moon may have stifled the the encroaching old age of the two remaining spontaneity of the band, but the passion and Jamie T, Sheila original members (both are now in their musicianship remain. They may not quite be As Pulp once said “this is hardcore”. Jamie T 60’s), the songs they have played a thousand the best live band in the world right now, but tells of a night out so wild that eponymous times still managed to sound fresh and excit- the magic of The Who still lives on. protagonist Sheila ends up in the morgue. He's got the lyrical comedy Mike Skinner owns the copyrights for - “Her lingo went from the cockney to the gringo” - AND a decent tune. This is worth a listen. Larrikin Love, Downing St Kindling One thing. If you don't like it here then jog on. Larrikin Love spend three minutes win- ing about how crap things have got since 1984. A quick refresher course: in the 80s we had Thatcherism, looming recession, famine in Africa and awful music. This Albion decadance was done far better (and earlier) by the Libertines. This lot are completely average. The Long Blondes, Another Jim Noir Reviewed by Isle of Wight Festival Reviewed by Thom Yorke Reviewed by Weekend Without Makeup Kathryn Jenni Marsh Emma Fite- The Long Blondes’ latest tells another of Live at Fibbers, Bromwich Seaclose Park, and Jon Addy The Eraser Wassilak their tales of loss and betrayal. This slightly York 18/10/05 Newport 9-11/06/06 Out 05/06/06 standard (though eminently danceable) indie tune is vastly improved by Kate Jackson’s vocals, which as usual, are impressively laconic and passionate by turns. The music picks up on repeated listenings, too, although Ever wondered how Hesse’s Siddhartha Since being reincarnated, the Isle of Wight Having complained of the restrictions and too many more singles could see the Blondes’ would sound if he were a band? Fret no Festival has become the unofficial opener to boring nature of being in a rock band, Thom sparkling formula sounding a little tired. more. Jim Noir and his bouncy powerpop the festival season and 2006 had the best Yorke has put his experience with electronic come as a breath of fresh air in a musical line-up since Hendrix’s appearance at the music into an attempt to do something new. Mogwai, Travel is Dangerous scene full of world-weary bands that try too legendary 1970 festival. The only problem with this project is that hard to be ‘unpredictable’. It’s criminal to deny the awesomeness of this new album is far less original than his The first single to be taken from Mr. Beast, With Jim Noir, the smiling begins right Placebo, but a 45 minute ‘co-headlining’ set work with Radiohead from Kid A onwards. ‘Travel is Dangerous’ builds slowly, of course, away: the stage is littered with garden in blazing sunshine just didn’t do them jus- Yorke wails in his loveably pained way to a mighty cresendo. So far, so Mogwai. gnomes (‘stolen from posh parties’) of all tice, whereas Richard Ashcroft reminded us over typical electro-beats and accompani- There’s nothing drastically new on offer here, sizes, the biggest one riding a kangaroo, and exactly why it was the everyone bought ments, but it makes one wonder: just exactly but the powerful quiet/loud dynamic should there’s a desk lamp on the keyboard with a Urban Hymns in 1994. The Foos proved, what does he have to whinge about? At first, keep established fans happy, even if it doesn’t little drawing labelled ‘Phil’s Lamp’. The unlike the Prodigy the night before, that you this album seems destined to alienate anyone win any new admirers. band themselves are outlandishly attired, don’t have to be on pills to think that you’re who likes him; indeed, if it weren’t Yorke with sharp haircuts, ponchos, hats, and Noir having a good time. Goldfrapp and her fellow behind the project, one suspects few would Belle and Sebastian, White aptly wearing a red bandleader jacket, all of minxes brought a little spice to the event listen to it. Most of the album is dominated which creates a pleasant air of theatrical flip- whereas Lou Reed was under the illusion it by dirges, sung with seeming complacency. Collar Boy pancy. was okay to be fourth on the bill and play Yorke himself on ‘Analyse’ aptly paraphrases Hitherto feyer than thou, indie favorites The band’s sweetly naïve lyrics, boyish none of his hits. Maximo Park kicked the the effect: “it brings you down”. Belle and Sebastian have been showing looks and constant smiles, added to the soft, proverbial faeces out of a mediocre Kubb and However depressing this album seems, unprecedented levels of testosterone on the upbeat backing singing and deceptively inno- I’m reliably informed the Proclaimers were do not despair: on the few tracks with guitar singles from their latest album, The Life cent songs, unexpectedly contrast well with smashing (unfortunately I was watching parts, Yorke’s talent as a rock musician shines Pursuit. ‘White Collar Boy’ is no exception, Fibbers’, er, unostentatious atmosphere. The England). through, recapturing one’s attention. These but maintains a beautifully summery sense band members make funny faces at the audi- But most importantly, Coldplay demon- tracks, unfortunately scattered between dis- of joy in its tale of a young office worker led ence, chase each other with guitars and there strated why all those who brand them as bor- appointing noise, are catchy and far more astray and into criminality by a femme is much good-humoured stage banter ing or depressing really need to experience harmonious. If only he would recognise what fatale. (“What’s the plural of Jesus? Jesi?”). them live. Uplifting and anthemic, they justi- he does best and inject some life into the rest They’re endearingly self-mocking at all fied why it is worth being (as Chris Martin of this album. Even these tracks are growers, Singles this week were reviewed by Jenni times, and, well, I’ve never seen an audience put it) ‘a Coldplay fan in this cynical world’. though their merit is more in providing back- Marsh and Robin Seaton. look so happy. A perfect end to a perfect weekend. ground music than engaging one’s interest. 27/06/06 Reviews M21 Film Reviews

Thank You For Smoking year-old son, “if you argue correctly, you’re never wrong.” Reitman, however, seems reluctant to Director:Jason Reitman argue at all, perhaps due to the power wield- With: Aaron Eckhart,Maria Bello ed by those who he is satirising. The result is that the consequences of smoking, in the Runtime:92 min persons of Cancer Boy (Nick’s chat show co- Reviewed by interviewee in the opening scene) and the Paul Becker ex-Marlboro Man (Sam Elliott) dying of lung cancer, come across as sterile and harmless “You know the guy who can pick up any girl? whereas the allure of tobacco is perfectly I’m him, on crack.” Nick Naylor is a tobacco captured in the beautiful opening credits, lobbyist in Washington and, as his words where the names of the players are seen indicate, a shameless promoter of his own printed on old cigarette packet designs. And humble person as well as of the little glowy not one cigarette is actually seen smoked in death-sticks which, he graciously informs us, the film. kill twelve hundred people a day nation- Thank You… is thoroughly immersed in wide. Although there’s no conclusive evi- the spirit of bullshit (in one hilarious scene dence for that, mind you. we are even treated to the hitherto unac- Nick talks for a living – in the glorious knowledged danger posed by Nicotine acting of Aaron Eckhart, he is a player aglow patches) and sometimes it’s hard to tell in the limelight, a movie star day in, day out, whether this spin is reviled or relished; the befuddlling the naysaying masses with his apogee of this is Nick’s crisp and ludicrous flawless rhetoric and rugged features. That is exchanges with a Hollywood talent agent, until a sexy journalist (Katie Holmes) played by Rob Lowe as Phil Ken Sebben’s seduces him and then publicly reports on his reclusive cousin. Together, they would return candid pillow talk, causing his boss (J.K. cinema to the Golden Age where smoking Simmons) to drop him like the hot potato he was sex via images like Brad Pitt and is. Catherine Zeta-Jones sharing a post-coital Writer/director Jason Reitman deftly cigarette aboard a spaceship in a sci-fi movie. avoids a Jerry Maguire dynamic, however, “But wouldn’t they blow up, though, in an and that alone deserves praise; instead, Nick all-oxygen environment?” Nick asks. takes a triumphant last stand in front of “Probably…” cheese-eating, liquor-bottle-collecting, wear- The upshot of all this is that the dreams ing-sandals-over-socks Vermont senator and symbols we all like to hide behind are Finistirre’s (William H. Macy) congressional controlled and pushed at us by a bunch of hearing and makes asses of a lot of people hilarious freaks - an idea which, golly me, who hardly deserve it more than he does. seems a lot easier to live with than that of evil But, as he tells his avid learner of a nine- masterminds plotting our doom.

United 93 strictly speaking, a dramatisation. The story Hard Candy tables are turned, as it becomes clear that is told in real-time and much of the dialogue Hayley’s own agenda makes her far less inno- Director:Paul Greengrass is based on transcripts, with many of the cen- Director:David Slade cent than she first appeared. From here on, With:Christian Clemenson,Trish Gates tral characters, such as Ben Sliney (the With: Patrick Wilson,Ellen Page the plot gives way to a fascinating and sick- newly-promoted supervisor of the National ening character piece, as Jeff and Hayley’s Runtime:91 min Air Traffic Control Center) playing them- Runtime:103 min deadly cat-and-mouse game unfolds and the selves. This, coupled with the casting of rela- boundaries between predator and prey are Reviewed by tive unknowns, makes the film particularly Reviewed by blurred beyond all recognition. Tom King affecting as the audience can see the charac- Rob Perkins The film lives and dies by the perform- ters as the real people they are instead of per- ances of its two key characters, and it is the formances by a familiar face. performances of its two relative unknowns As a spectacle for entertainment, United which make it the success that it is. Ellen 93 moves too slowly. This is not to say that Page is the young actress to whom I must you’ll be bored - the real-life events are as dedicate the most fulsome praise. Her explo- dramatic as any Tom Clancy - but to provide sive performance is utterly terrifying, and entertainment is not the objective of this Hayley’s fires of madness illuminate the film. film. Made at the request of the passengers’ She dominates the screen in her first major families, it is intended to provide an honest breakout role, walking the tightrope between account of the sacrifices made by their loved a naive innocent and a furious ball of ones and to serve as an emotional touchstone vengeance. However, Wilson should not be to remind people of how they felt as the day’s forgotten either. He is also brilliant - always events unfolded. In this it succeeds fantasti- ambiguous in his performance, hiding from cally, as I began watching in no real mood for the audience the true nature and extent of his serious subject matter and ended in tears. sexual predilections. As the characters wres- Though the delicate subject matter may tle for control, our sympathies fluctuate make any criticism of this film seem callous, between the two. The acting is unforgettable, this is thankfully not an issue. The cine- and almost lifts Hard Candy beyond criti- matography is first rate, the performances cism. moving and Greengrass’ script provides a Hard Candy is not a conventional sensitive treatment of the material. If there is thriller. It relies less on its thrills and spills, one criticism to be made, it is in the portray- and trades out-and-out ‘excitement’ for a This generation will, perhaps, never see an al of the hijackers themselves. Though the Cinema loves controversy as the most taboo gnawing claustrophobia and a near-hysteri- event which can affect the global concious- film deals with the conflict that they undergo subjects often make for the most engaging cal tension. This trade-off doesn’t make it ness as much as the events of 9/11. So shaken in an attempt to humanize them, there is no films. Paedophilia is no exception and boring, but it is perhaps a minor flaw of the was the world by what transpired and so raw examination of the fanatical belief which led Hollywood has not remained silent, address- narrative that it is so simply and convention- were the feelings created, that it has taken them to commit such an atrocity, leading to ing the subject in films like 2004’s The ally structured. Hard Candy’s weakness almost 5 years for anyone to feel comfortable them being the least well developed charac- Woodsman. comes from the fact that it is actually a little enough to attempt a dramatisation of that ters. However, such an unbiased approach Hard Candy however, has a new lens for soft (at least narratively speaking). It doesn’t day. The end of September this year will see also prevents the film from being overly jin- the mass hysteria. The title comes from inter- tell a story, more than a few haunting set the release of Oliver Stone’s blockbuster, goistic. net chat- room slang for a young girl, and this pieces, and the ending is something of an World Trade Center, but first comes this To get the most out of this film I would film begins with 32 year old Jeff and a 14 year anticlimax. Hard Candy remains an much more low-key offering. definitely recommend seeing it at the cinema old teen called Hayley arranging to ‘hook up’. admirable and remarkable thriller which Telling the story of United Airways flight as, only by watching it alone with your The audience follows their meeting with tackles a very dangerous taboo subject with 93, the only one of the hijacked planes not to thoughts can you get the full emotional dread as the two banter and flirt their way gusto and power, but as a film is an intense, reach its intended target, United 93 is not, impact. Deeply moving. back to Jeff’s apartment. It is here where the gruesome ordeal. M22 Reviews 27/06/06 Food and Drink Reviews

their lunch offer where 2 courses on the set and stay I needed to take them somewhere to menu costs only £10.95. This offer only impress, after all they are the ones who are The Olive Tree Reviewed by Victoria Hallam applies Monday to Saturday, between 12pm supplying the funds for my restaurant 10 Tower Street and 2pm. I would, however, recommend the endeavours in aid of Nouse! I thought of the early bird offer, its great value for money, Olive Tree and breathed a sigh of relief as I with 2 courses costing £11.95, until 7pm was sure it would impress. We shared Pan Th Monday to Friday and 6.30pm on Saturdays. Fried King Prawns with a garlic and herb Instead of getting the usual Pizza Hut my butter to start, although we could have easily Situated opposite Clifford’s Tower, this friends and I decided to be a bit more upmar- gone for seared King Sea Scallops with restaurant is not hard to miss and boasts ket and hurried along to the Olive Tree to get Hazelnut risotto and a cider vinegar beuire beautiful views, although come 10pm this is our 2 courses and we were blow away by the blanc. The main, which seemed to win points somewhat tarnished by drunks rolling down delicious food on offer. with my parents was the Roasted Rump of the hill. The Olive Tree prides itself with an I had Char-Grilled Aubergine, sun English Lamb on chunky ratatouilles, rose- unwavering passion for food as they strive to blushed tomato and Feta Cheese salad with a mary crushed potatoes with natural pan source the best ingredients and quality prod- Yogurt & Herb Dressing, followed by Truffle juices. Each ingredient seems to have been ucts, choosing only to serve ingredients, Roasted Chicken Breast, Braised puy lentils, specifically chosen in order to compliment which are at their peak of perfection. pancetta, carrots and button onions. You can the different parts of the dish, we did howev- Which Wherever possible their game, lamb and beef almost taste the passion that went into mak- er; have to order extra sides of vegetables, as are sourced right here in Yorkshire. ing this food and the fresh, original ingredi- there wasn’t quite enough with the meal. If Sweeties? Most Friday evenings dining is compli- ents certainly do the dishes justice. It is real- this is the case I would suggest the mented by the solo guitarist who adds to the ly refreshing to see seasonality in the menu Chargrilled vegetables with parmesan Gosh, isn’t it a long time since you skipped authentic Mediterranean experience found at here, unlike many restaurant chains that cheese, they would bode well with any of the off to the sweetie shop in the first flush of the Olive Tree. If it weren’t for Clifford’s simply provide the same choice of Pizza and main dishes. youth, with a feverish glint in your eye! Some Tower it would be easy to forget you were in Pasta and still claim to produce the taste of If you are looking for fresh, original, readers may have fond memories of a gener- York. The Olive Tree is open all day, so you the Mediterranean, the Olive Tree supplies seasonal food, carefully prepared with an ic Woolworth’s pic ‘n’ mix counter feeding can pop in for a coffee if you are feeling a bit variety and creativity. equally enjoyable atmosphere and service, their childhood sugar-based fantasies, oth- cosmopolitan or you can take advantage of So when my parents decided to come head to the Olive Tree. ers may have had their confectionary dis- pensed by a kindly old tweed-clad gentleman who wore special gloves and had a slightly creepy smile…Anyway, we thought it was time to remind you just how fabulous sweet- L'antica Locanda Reviewed by Meltons Too Reviewed by Thilda Thai Reviewed by ies are. All the sweets are available from N.Luke Abraham 25 Walmgate Emma Fite- 16 George Mark.Zollner Debbie’s in Stonegate. 33 The Shambles Wassilak Hudson Street Yorkshire Mix, 65p per 100g

A huge and oddly shaped array of citrussy things, pear flavoured things and minty things. The sweets are shaped in such an unusual way that it is impossible to eat one without drenching your companions in sali- va, but they do give you magical powers, enabling you to talk like a Yorkshireman. Strawberry Bon Bon, 65p per 100g To test the bon bons, we embarked upon an explicit discussion of the personal life of a mutual acquaintance. Although we were desperate for sordid details, the bon bons were so chewy and sticky that they silenced us, halting the conversation. If someone starts asking you awkward questions, give them a bon bon- they are one hundred per cent effective, and very tasty too. L'antica Locanda is a restaurant that I have A laid-back café-bar bistro version of the Thida Thai Reviewed by Mark Zollner Old Fashioned Boilings, 65p wanted to visit for a while, after being given more formal (and expensive) Melton’s on Located on George Hudson Street and nes- three good independent recommendations. Scarcroft road, Melton’s too prides itself in tled quietly amongst the more chaotic per 100g It is hidden away in the Shambles and also using local produce and meats whenever pos- Jumbos and Reflex, the often over-looked These are every bit as repulsive and disgust- doesn't look like a restaurant from the out- sible. Thus the drinks list is quite extensive, Thida is a pleasant enclave of calm. Once ing as they sound. Comments included “like side, but a delicatessen. The small seating and although the cheapest bottle of wine is inside the purple walls, lined with carvings of gone- off menthol”, “tastes like bile” and “the area is upstairs, which does offer good views 11.95, they’ll sell it to you in half-litre or glass elephants and alcoves adorned with bright aftertaste is like the fluff that gets under the of the street below. form as well. flowers and Thai Buddhas, lend an atmos- sofa.” We feared for the old people who make There is quite a good range on the menu, Tapas is a favourite here, but we opted phere of tranquillity. up the product’s target demographic, as we and there was large selection on the specials for a more traditional format. For starters the The food is scrumptious and includes decided that it would take out their false boards. I opted for the aubergine bake for a cream of local asparagus soup, served with traditional dishes like the spicy Thai Tom teeth. The black currant one was a high starter and spinach cannelloni for the main, toasted baguette, was pleasant, though less Yum soup. Starters are delicious, especially point as it tasted like a vintage Thornton’s while Esther opted for (a whole) buffalo moz- asparagus-tasting than expected, but the the golden tiger prawn wrapped in spring roll car sweet, but everything else was a little zarella with grilled aubergine starter fol- polenta with baked mushrooms and garlic paste served with sweet chilli sauce. Of the hard to swallow. lowed by salmon tagliatelle. The food was cream sauce was excellent. When the mains main courses the barbecue chicken marinat- very nice but exceedingly rich, and the por- arrived, I was already almost full from the ed in garlic, pepper, coriander and spices Sherbet Lemon, 65p per 100g tions were also very generous, which meant soup, but the lovage pasta with asparagus, grilled over charcoal served with sweet chilli that after the starter I felt quite full. When I onions, and Parmesan looked far too tempt- sauce deserves special mention. The most impressive thing about these was go again I think that it would be better to go ing to pass up. The freshly-made pasta was One great feature of the food is the the colour, as they resemble lego car head- for a main and a pudding rather than a beautifully complemented by a light, creamy opportunity to mix and match side dishes lights. They are great to suck as extra lemo- starter, even though these were excellent. sauce, and the addition of parmesan perfect- and choose from a range of meat or fish for ny boiled sweets, but the real fun begins The house white was very drinkable, and ed it. On the other hand, the grilled Yorkshire the main course, including chicken, duck, when the sherbert explodes all over the roof in total the bill came to £33.45 for two sirloin steak with red wine shallot sauce and pork, prawns and squid. Side dishes range of your mouth which in our case had already starters, two mains and a bottle of wine. The homemade chips was not worth the 12.95 from jasmine rice to coconut rice or even rice been lacerated by excessive sweetie con- service was good, and we were able to sit paid for it—the chips were far too greasy, and noodles topped with chicken and peanut. sumption. If confectionary listened to quite happily after our meal to finish the the steak was tough. The food really caters for everyone rang- music, sherbert lemons would be into Happy wine. The food available from the deli down- Unfortunately, we were too full to tackle ing from spicy curry dishes to a milder palate. Hardcore. stairs also looked delicious, and I may be dessert, I had to ask if I could take half of my Combined with the friendly Thai staff, Thida Reviewers: Vicky Hallam and Lucy Peden back to pick up something from there. pasta home, and got a lovely tin foil handbag! Thai is definitely worth investigating. 27/06/06 Last word M23 The last word End of year special Andreas Masoura: this year he’s won as many awards as Vision Blag your sabbatical The brothels Crouch is an un-athletic, gangly beanstalk, discerning voices of disapproval attempting but you must be wary of the skinhead. to uphold social morality (you know who you are) I can only justify my actions by empha- revealed sising the dire state of affairs at York given by An exclusive Vision underground investiga- Minster versus the fact you had to queue to get into tion has discovered the York brothel. Vanburgh Paradise. When such a situation Apparently a Vision journalist was offered occurs, instinct prevails; I’m afraid it comes sex for money. If you’re that desperate, go to Roger Kirk down to the survival of the fittest (see Ziggys and buy a mediocre looking female a Darwin’s evolution theory). K2, a true bargain at £1.50. That won’t be York St. John graduate in the Minster. We OK, so you spent a good hour or two difficult, we’re in York. graduate in central hall, that architectually queuing to get into Vanburgh Paradise, an Despite an arduous account of how dated eyesore. It’s not fair. Apparently if we idyllic expanse of concrete that can only have Vision editors spent their weekends, the story abandoned our Central Hall graduations the arisen as a result of someone having a frantic failed to give the location of the brothel. How University would lose business since no one fit with a cement mixer in the 1960s. Maybe selfish. Word on the street suggests it could We’ve had this photo of Last Word be inside the Roger Kirk toilets, or perhaps in favourite, Matt Burton, for ages, just that strange little room one down from the waiting for an excuse to run it.We Nouse office. If only you could hear some of got bored waiting... the noises coming out of there. To get this low paid but gratifying job you must win an election. Given that no one Feminism proved actually cares or can be bothered, you can win by getting about ten of your friends to vote. Great, now you’ve been voted in to irrelevant office, but what do you do next? First of all, fashion. You can strut around campus with an air of superiority whilst sporting a With regard to Nouse’s token feminist fetching scarf. You must never ever take militants, Heidi and Kate: put your bras back the scarf off, be it indoors or amidst a 35 on and throw away your mooncups because I degree heat wave. Or you can wear your did a little feminist survey of my own. Whilst YUSU hoodie just to remind those stu- at the York brothel, I fortunately stumbled dents who almost got out of bed to vote across several women who were only too who you are. The possibilities are endless. pleased to succumb to my every desire in Right, you’ve perfected the art of exchange for hard currency. Especially the Look at his rash: this is why you shouldn’t go in the lake. Photo by Georgi Mabee public presentation. What next? Office receptionist at the front, she even made me a conduct. Well, just spend most of your coffee. Imagine that, a woman in 21st centu- time on facebook creating groups declar- ry Britain making a man a coffee. Bring back would buy baguettes from the Roger Kirk he got it for Christmas. I’m sure most second ing yourselves and your fellow Sabs the 1950s. Oh, and another thing, there is a Centre. As much as I love a Coronation and third years were asking why this was the ‘Campus Legends’. These serve no other perfectly reasonable explanation as to why Chicken treat, I don’t want to spend my grad- chosen venue given the success of last year’s purpose other than to heap praise onto men are paid more than women. There are 12 uation reception running in between toilets. I Woodstock, which was on Vanburgh bowl. yourself and fellow officers. Nominate months in a year. Multiply that by the num- think students would benefit on more than This meant unrestricted capacity and there- yourself because someone in Ziggy’s once ber of days each month in which a woman’s one level if we moved to the Minster. fore no queuing. Given this was an event in read the title on your hoodie and mistook labour efficiency is reduced by PMT. Thus aid of charity this would have surely made it for your name. Once you have convinced you have the pay gap. more sense. yourself of your greatness you are ready to A festival for But wait, the bars won’t make any hit the ground running. Oh yes, it’s time to money unless you force people to use liaise with college chairs. Why travel for Vanburgh bar by physically caging them in This is relatively straightforward as charity? and banning outside alcohol, even if you did long as you retain several key features in get it from CostCutter. Charity being exploit- your negotiations with them. Remember hooliganism? On behalf of the University, I feel it necessary ed for University capitalism, some might say. to exercise the power of a dictator through to apologise to anyone who had the pleasure Oh well, at least some people seemed to your immovable stance on issues that of queuing not to get into Woodstock. This be making the most of a summer’s evening on make the very concept of negotiation Football hooliganism in York peaked the free festival was open to all students all in the the Paradise. Several of the more intuitive redundant. other day when a fan was assaulted during an name of charity. Or at least it was last year. students utilised the event’s lakeside location Any manners your parents taught England match in Derwent. Some advice: After wasting too much of my time this year by engaging in water sports, such as sailing you must be forgotten as you correspond Don’t turn up to the match looking like a queuing for possibly the worst clubs in and swimming. Both were hospitalised due with respectful mortals with a distinct yet Swedish caricature and then proceed to mock England (Ziggys, Toffs etc.) I was fortunate to to excessive amounts of battery acid in the underlying sense of arrogance mixed lib- England. I know they’re crap and that Peter slip in through a gap in the fencing. To any lake. erally with a selection of naughty swear words, such as ‘fuck’. Or ‘bum’. No one will fuck with you ever again. You may also have to deal with the campus media. A good idea is to tell them they make stuff up, either in the Nags Competition - win a phone! Head toilets or during vital meetings. Don’t bother to explain why, they won’t enQ-Siemens has got and has dedicated keys to make prepay, or free on contract, from understand. together with Nouse to it look and feel as much like a Virgin Mobile, the E61 Mofi is Remember, you have little training so offer (one more) student music player as a phone. 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Clockwise from top left: Goldie Lookin’ Chain will perform at this year’s Summer Ball; Pub Landlord Al Murray comes to York; the Birmingham Royal Ballet performs the Pineapple Poll at the Grand Opera House and an example of a photo from the Bob Dylan exhibition on at Nunnington Hall Live Music Campus Events Tuesday 27th June is likely to be very popular. Doors at 6pm. Wednesday, Week 10 it all the way to the “survivors” photo at Seven Shades, Fibbers Graduation Dinner, York Racecourse 4am? A regular at Woodstock, they rocked Wednesday 28th June Finalists this year don’t only get treated to Vanbrugh's concrete paradise again on Larrikin Love, Fibbers a champagne reception and a swanky four Thursday, Week 10 Saturday. For a repeat performance, head Highly recommended by those at Fibbers, course silver service dinner, but Big D, Derwent and Langwith down to Fibbers tonight. The band could this Larrikin Love gig promises to be a also a four foot fountain of Belgian choco- The Big D Carnival this Thursday looks like be described as reinventing 1980s metal for show you don't want to miss. Buy your late. Just don’t over-indulge, as the rides at it's going to be the event of the year and all a current audience (keeping the very essen- tickets online at www.fibbers.co.uk for only this year's fairground don't mix especially for a good cause, as it aims to raise as much tial long haircuts!) £7 or on the door for £8. well with that much chocolate and alcohol! as possible for various charities. Set across Langwith and Derwent with fairground Sunday 2nd July Saturday 15th July Wednesday, Week 10 rides, fireworks, N-Trance, the Cheeky Girls Battle of the Bands, Fibbers Snow Patrol, Leeds Millenium Square Summer Ball, York Racecourse and three bars open until 1.30am – what Well worth sticking around for as The If you can get tickets to this gig then it will On top of the Graduation Dinner, there’s more could you possibly want? Blueprints, Cohesion, Digicore and two definitely be worth it. At £22.50, the aver- entertainment from 10pm until 4am. more as yet unconfirmed bands battle it age student budget may have to be Attractions range from the dodgems and Tuesday, Week 10 out in the final of this year's long-awaited stretched slightly, but what’s an overdraft waltzers of the fairground to Sara Cox Cild (readthrough), Drama Barn Battle of the Bands competition. Buying for? This is a good summer gig for those introducing Goldie Lookin’ Chain and Big The cast do a readthrough of the play tickets in advance is recommended as this who have missed out on festivals. J and the Piccolo Chickens. Will you make before Edinburgh. Tickets £2 on the door. Art and Performance Cinema Thursday 29th June United 93 (15) plans are disrupted as Captain Jack Al Murray, Grand Opera House Wednesday 5th July-Sunday 8th July The story of the fourth plane from the Sparrow needs them for yet another adven- The pub landlord is back with a new show An Evening With Gary Lineker, York September 11th terrorist attacks on the ture. which guarantees to have you in stitches! Theatre Royal World Trade Center and the Pentagon. An Tickets are guaranteed to sell very fast, so This comedic play has a soap star-filled emotionally provocative film dealing with Thank You For Not Smoking (15) if you want to go, book yours as soon as cast (actors from Emmerdale, Eastenders an issue that is still very current in people’s Adam Brody and Katie Holmes star along- possible. and Hollyoaks) and dramatises a married minds. side Aaron Eckhart in this smart, satirical couple as they watch the infamous 1990 comedy which promises to keep you Friday 30th June-Saturday 1st July England vs Germany world cup semi final. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's laughing. Birmingham Royal Ballet, York Theatre Chest (12A) Royal Until Monday 9th July Not out until the 6th July but definitely The Wind That Shakes The Barley (15) This will be a first class performance from The Official Bob Dylan Photographic worth a mention. The long-awaited sequel Winner of the prestigious Palme D'or the Royal Ballet Company, who will be pre- Exhibition, Nunnington Hall, York to the 2003 film, sees Captain Jack award at the Cannes film festival, this film senting three ballets: Brouillards, Solitaire This collection of iconic images is sure to Sparrow (Jonny Depp), Will Turner follows the story of two Irish brothers torn and Pineapple Poll. The ballet doesn't attract any Bob Dylan fans as well as any (Orlando Bloom) and Elizabeth Swann apart by the 1920s Irish Civil War. It has come to York very often and prices are budding photographers. Nunnington Hall (Keira Knightley) take to the screen to come under fire from the British press for reduced for those under 25. A must for any is the first place outside of London to show swashbuckle alongside each other again. its obvious sympathy with the Irish fans out there. this exhibition. This time Turner and Swann’s wedding Republicans.

SPONSORED BY SNAPPY SNAPS 10 Politics Endangered species disappear as numbers face ‘total collapse’ Adam Sloan meets with Stanley Johnson to talk about his work protecting endangered species

ore than 16,000 which is having the worst species world- effect on the habitat of the wide are facing orang-utans.” Palm oil is an Mthe threat of ingredient in many products extinction, primarily as a in the UK. In Borneo, much result of human activity. primary forest is cut down to For 30 years, Stanley make way for palm-tree Johnson has been campain- plantations; “probably the ing for the protection of crisps you eat in the bar have endangered species. As an got palm oil in them!” MEP between 1979 and 84, One campaign currently he chaired the European running in the UK is called Parliament’s committee on the ‘Round Table on the environment and has Sustainable Palm Oil,’ “this is since written more than ten to force companies like Tesco books on environmental and Sainsburies to ensure issues. Recently he has trav- they source palm oil from elled on fact-finding mis- plantations not built at the sions out to places such as expense of primary forests.” India, Malaysia and Brazil, Over the past 100 years, investigating human impact Orang-utans have lost 91 on endangered species. He is percent of their population. also the father of Boris They are the only great apes Johnson, MP for Henley and outside Africa and, despite Conservative Higher legal protection, are still Education Spokesman. often killed for trade in their Johnson recently went meat or body parts. to India, looking into the “I don’t think we in the falling tiger population. UK do enough,” Johnson fin- When the British left India ishes by saying, “for example in 1947, there were around we should boycott compa- 50,000 tigers left in the wild, nies who are not sourcing now the number is as low as Stanley Johnson made his visit to the University as a guest of the York Union Society. Photo by Adam Sloan their palm oil sustainably, or 500: “We are seeing an who use timber taken from almost total collapse of the into their reserves: “you are also suffering as a result of keep the miners fed for days.” Most recently, Johson hard wood forests.” tiger population in India,” getting increasing conflict human pressures. The war There is also a growing has been to Borneo to look With continued habitat Johnson said, “one of the big between humans and tigers. situation in this region has trade in the export of illegal into falling numbers of destruction resulting from factors is demand for tiger You may get a situation contributed the the drastic bush-meat out to the West, orang-utans that inhabit the human actions, many of the bones and tiger parts from where a tiger will attack a reduction in the gorilla pop- with an estimated 5 million island’s primary forests: “it is species that we look upon so China, as this is used in cer- cow, or even a human, and ulation: “Gorillas are con- tons of gorilla meat exported our own thirst for palm oil fondly could soon disappear. tain traditional medicines.” there will be calls to kill it.” stantly getting caught in the from Rwanda and Congo last There is also a growing The situation is increasingly crossfire of the militias.” year. In London, gorilla meat “general pressure on the getting out of hand, “there Much of the gorilla’s habitat can be sold for up to £300 For further information visit: tigers’ habitat.” With the are probably more tigers in also lies on potentially per kilogram. Diane Fosey Gorilla Fund population of India now zoos in Texas then there are lucritive supplies of coltan Johson has become Stanley Johnson www.stanleyjohnson.com www.dianefossey.org exceeding a billion people, in the wild at the moment.” ore; “there have been a huge involved in the Dianne Visit this website to find out Information about protecting there are less and less prey The mountain gorrilas influx of miners, many will Fossey Gorrilla fund which more about Stanley Johnson’s the endangered mountain species for the tigers to eat that inhabit areas of Rwanda come across a gorilla and encourages mining outside environmental work gorillas and also increasing forays and the Eastern Congo are shoot it, one gorilla could gorillas’ areas.

do we secure international With all the issues of drift back into conservative peace? How do we secure importance that loom before ideology and therefore ever- The Campus our futures against personal us, the need for collectivism further from the solutions and economic uncertainty? is most certainly clear. Peace required. How do we fight environ- and security cannot be There remains only one mental degradation and achieved through military serious political party with catastrophe? How do we might, or at the dictat of a whom forward-looking Soapbox hold a modern society global superpower. Financial answers sit comfortably. I together? security requires collective believe for some years now However we define our- provision for pensions and a though, the Labour Party has selves, as socialists or social decent welfare system. been hamstrung by the By Andrew Dixon Party look that much more democrats, one thing that Environmental protection excessive dominance of one York Labour Club cuddly and media-friendly unites all members of the requires collective action individual’s outlook and than the Tories of old. Labour Party is that we through a democratic gov- temperament. o the present Labour Something appears to have believe in the value of collec- ernment. Justice and the But Tony Blair will soon Government has lost gone drastically wrong with tive action, that "by the cohesion of society require be departing. The task for its way, people say. Labour and they are desper- strength of our common that resources are redistrib- Is Labour losing its way? the Labour Party then is to SPerpetually dogged, it ate to seem like the answer. endeavour we achieve more uted to where there is great- lift its head from the day-to- seems, by newspaper stories But what in fact are the ques- than we achieve alone.” By est need. answers. If they are genuine, day headlines, rediscover its of ministerial mistakes and tions? Looking beyond contrast, conservatism takes Cameron’s Conservative then they must face the purpose and apply its princi- the appalling consequences image, beyond superficiality, the stance that “you look Party know that they can no choice of either joining ples, to the benefit of us all. of an ill-conceived war. At beyond spin, what are the after you”. The implication longer ignore these issues. another party, or entering And you can have your say in the same time, David real questions? always being: they sure as But their problem is that deeply into self-delusion. this. You can join the Labour Cameron’s Conservative Here are just a few. How hell won’t. conservatism has none of the Otherwise, they can only Party. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Snappy Snaps 27th June 2006 11 Israeli universities face boycott Claire Yeo looks at the proposed boycott of Israeli insitutions by university teaching unions

t has been relatively demic and cultural institu- should not constitute under-reported that tions directly without requir- grounds for assuming a vic- many of our university ing them to partner with tory for freedom of speech Ilecturers have been Israeli counterparts. over the boycotts. The AUT, actively engaging in an aca- Although the AUT’s by contrast, have totally demic boycott targeted special council has since reversed this policy, stating, against the state of Israel. voted to revoke all such “the AUT does not endorse While we have all been wor- motions of this nature in this policy and is strongly rying about the duration of favour of preserving academ- advising its members not to the AUT’s recent “assess- ic freedom (a dubious princi- implement it.” ments boycott,” which has ple to advocate considering The actions of both had us all up in arms about the obvious detrimental unions are highly con- finalists’ prospects of gradu- impact the boycott has on tentious. Several academics, ating on time, it seems that academic freedom), the including Oren Ben-Dor there have been some other union’s new partner and sis- from the University of interesting developments ter union, NATFHE, still has Southampton, have argued occurring within the univer- in place a motion inviting its that the AUT’s overturning sity teachers’ union. Few of 69,000 members to consider of the boycott is a “missed us may actually be aware of a boycott of academics and opportunity to awaken another policy of the union’s universities which do not Israelis, and in turn sister organisation distance themselves from Palestinians, to the urgent NATFHE for which Israeli Israeli government policy. need to engage in a debate academics, rather than The union, which has about all the skeletons in the British students, have had to very recently merged with cupboard.” bear the brunt. the AUT to form a larger The effectiveness of a Up until May last year, umbrella organisation UCU boycott as a means of the AUT itself had been (the University and College improving dialogue is highly actively boycotting the Union), has accused the gov- questionable, and is seen by Israeli universities of Haifa ernment of pursuing what it many as merely counterpro- and Bar-Ilan, with the has called “apartheid poli- ductive. Supporting trade intention of extending this cies” in Israel which have unionists in Israel and to include the Hebrew been likened to those of the Palestine which are working University of Jerusalem. It apartheid regime of South for peace seems, instead, a had claimed that these insti- Africa in the 1980’s. The much more proactive way of The University of Haifa, in the north of Israel, was boycotted last year by the AUT tutions had been complicit union has also condemned improving the situation. Yet in the government’s “abuse” what it cites as “discrimina- the central issue is not the integrity of academic will always support and the NATFHE are not. “By of Palestinians. This boycott tory educational practices” in whether the unions are cor- unions. As AUT’s general which will always guide our pursuing such a policy, involved tactics such as Israeli higher education. rect in their accusations, but secretary, Sally Hunt, has work.” Surely, therefore, their NATFHE will isolate its refraining from any form of While the boycott is said whether or not they legiti- stated, “UK higher education actions against the Israeli members and their students academic or cultural cooper- to have expired with mately should attempt such has had a long and proud academics run counter to rather than Israeli academ- ation, collaboration or joint NATFHE’s amalgamation a boycott. Indeed, the move tradition of defending aca- this claim ics,” as Israeli Ambassador to projects with Israel; suspen- into UCU, many see this as seems, in many ways, little demic freedom. The struggle While we can accept the UK, Zvi Heifetz, has sion of subsidies and fund- merely a “technical matter” more than a blatant denial of to maintain academic free- that the AUT are now taking commented. Again, it would ing to these institutions; and that does not indicate a freedom of academic speech, dom whenever it is under a more proactive approach to seem the wrong people are supporting Palestinian aca- change regarding Israel, and a principle that is central to threat is one that the AUT the Israel-Palestine conflict, being unfairly targeted. Church calls for toughening of abortion legislation with present laws ‘outdated’

By Ellen Carpenter Fox have made their views on International (MSI), a chari- time limit, with many saying the issue known. ty that provide abortions that they would have suf- he Catholic Church Cardinal Murphy outside of the NHS, have fered considerable emotional has this week called O’Conner, the head of the argued that women seeking distress had an abortion not for more restrictive Catholic Church in England late abortions do so for rea- been available. Tabortion laws in the and Wales, has claimed that sons including poor accessi- The Department of UK. Cardinal Cormac public opinion on the subject bility and long waiting peri- Health has stated that it is Murphy O’Conner, who met is changing due to images ods for facilities. not planning a change in privately with Secretary of such as those of foetuses The group has criticised abortion law. A vote at the State for Health Patricia “walking in the womb,” pub- participants in the current British Medical Association Hewitt last Wednesday, lished in 2004. He is sup- debate regarding abortion conference last year also claims that the current 24- ported by a poll conducted law for failing to take into resulted in 77% of members week time limit on abortions by The Observer earlier this account the individual expe- rejecting a lowering of the is “outdated” in light of year showing that 47% of riences of women and their current time limit. advances in neonatal tech- women agree with the tight- reasons for undergoing abor- Cardinal Murphy nology. Patricia Hewitt has no plans to change abortion law ening of abortion laws. tions, instead focusing exclu- O’Conner last year likened Abortion has recently born before 24 weeks to be demanding a review of the However, groups oppos- sively on the scientific viabil- abortion to Nazism, saying, returned to the political kept alive, though often with 1967 Abortion Act, which ing a change in the law have ity. “what else is the termination agenda due to the debate significant handicaps, has was last updated in 1990, to pointed to the very small MSI found in a study of of six million lives in the surrounding lowering the led to widespread calls for a reduce the time limit from number of abortions, only women attending their womb since the Abortion Act time limit to 20 or 22 weeks. review in abortion legisla- 28 to 24 weeks, has been 1.6%, that currently take London clinics for late abor- was introduced?” and claim- Technological and medical tion. signed by 31 MPs, while both place after the 20 week peri- tions that the majority were ing that abortion will lead to advances allowing babies A commons motion Michael Howard and Liam od. Marie Stopes against a reduction of the the rise of eugenics. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 12 Letters Snappy Snaps 27th June 2006

Blast from the Win!Best letter receives a Letters party camera from Snappy Snaps Editorial Past Please send your comments Julian Hammerton and Charlotta and complaints by email to Salmi delve into the Nouse archive and [email protected] or by find out what made it to the news in post to Nouse, Grimston the summer terms of 1968-1970 House,Vanbrugh College Exam trouble in 1968 Two weeks ago, Tom Fawthrop, a well known student militant from Hull, sparked off a series of sit-ins and going back to the bar again and again? demonstrations by tearing up the first of his final Star letter Does it really improve your night if examination papers and walking out. Fawthrop has you're now so drunk you can't function always openly declared his opposition to the examina- normally at all? tion system as we now know it: on this occasion he dis- Alcohol joys? I agree with Flora that alcohol can played a most commendable unity of theory and prac- equal fun, but there's still needs to be a the campaign is a success. tise. Flora's feature kind of misses the point limit, a point at which you are going too Of course drinking alcohol is an of drinks awareness campaigns. far - and many students are guilty of incredibly social activity, but it is perfect- Certainly no campaign I've ever seen doing this. Another problem is that stu- ly possible to enjoy alcohol, while staying preaches complete abstinance from dents do this several times a week, not safe, looking after friends and of course Anarchism reigns at alcohol, and I've always been of the per- just once or twice. This style of binge- staying true to those academic or other sonal opinion that getting a little drunk drinking is a new phenomenon and responsibilities! Not only Fact Monkey Derwent Disco, 1970 is rather fun (and conductive to rela- we're yet to see what this generation's knows that. Before the days of Club D, Nouse reports on tionships/one-nightstands!). health is going to be like when they Oliver Smith Derwent activities “At the first Anarchist disco of the What I do object to is this constant reach 30. IF they reach 30... Director, The Social Norms term held in Derwent last Friday, Anarchism could need to go even further - many stu- Talk about the fun of drinking if Research Center truly be said to have reigned. Unfortunately the dents, once they are obviously drunk, you wish, but don't gloss over the Anarchist did not seem at all please by this. don't stop there! If you're already effects of extreme binge-drinking. At approximately 1pm, those present were treated drunk, how much more drunk do you Neil Barnes B&B in Alcuin to a true example of what Anarchy can do for the mass- really need to get? Do you need to keep SU Welfare Officer es – fighting broke out. In the true spirit of letting I am writing to express my outrage at the everyone ’do their own thing’ the disco was brought to fact that a violent and drunken stag party an end.I feel there is a moral for all of us in this little was allowed residence at a University parable, but for the life of me I cannot think what it is. Safe Woodstock Monkey Retorts owned bed and breakfast service located I want to write and express my dismay at Having read the recent article by Flora in Alcuin’s residential area. They behaved the organisation of Woodstock. I arrived Bradwell regarding ‘the joys of alcohol threateningly towards students, calling us at about 9pm only to find that the event and its place in university life’. I felt it “cunts” and “lazy student fuckers”, made Illegal Party was full and there was little chance of me necessary to clear up a few issues on sexually aggressive comments to female getting in before it finished. behalf of Fact Monkey. The Social Norms students and smashed up a tree in our follows ‘The From my position outside the gates, I campaign is not intended to jolt students quad. They woke us up at 7am, by shout- could see plenty of space, so it can only be into abstemious living, but to counteract ing abuse outside our windows, and were Who’ Gig ‘Health and Safety’ regulations that limit- the image of the borderline-alcoholic, generally noisy and despicable all week- ed the capacity. Isn’t it time that the hedonistic lifestyle so diligently por- end. University stopped its obsession with trayed via all forms of media. The mes- I just can’t believe that the university ‘The Who’s recent gig in Leeds was not the first in the safety rules and instead focus on common sage of the campaign is clear: the majori- is operating a public bed and breakfast in North Yorkshire region; thirty-six years ago they hon- sense? This would surely have dictated ty of students manage to drink without a student residential area at all, let alone oured the University with a visit. The gig resulted in that people shouldn’t be abandoned causing harm to themselves or to others. allowing any unpleasant Tom Dick or not only a policeman on duty being assaulted, but was beside Central Hall where one man was The Student Life and Alcohol survey Harry to stay there. Unleashing a stag followed by an “anarchist party” on campus. The uni- free to go for a swim in the lake – I doubt clearly showed however, that there is a party into the residential area of several versity took a tought stance as £110 worth of damage very much that his risk of disease is less huge difference between what students hundred vulnerable young women is was done to Vanbrugh College. Nouse reports: “June than the extra risk 200 more people believe or the way they behave with about as much of a recipe for disaster as 2nd, a Vanbrugh College disciplinary committee con- would bring to an outdoor concrete space. regard to alcohol, and the perception of letting Michael Moore loose in a pie shop. vened for the trial of Mr N R Hunt. Mr Hunt faces Why can’t the University take a les- what constitutes ‘typical’ or ‘normal’ My friends and I felt intimidated and vic- three charges from a party which took place on May son from other universities where events behaviour for students. The role of this timised by their behaviour, and I hope the 16th in V121. can feature such dangerous wonders as campaign is not to change individual university will take note of our offence He was charged with misleading the administration. bouncy castles (not allowed at York behaviours per se, but to create a more and implement some kind of vetting sys- Their claim is that his private party was in fact an anar- events) and put student interests first. correct and clearer view of true norms. If tem on potential residents at the B and B chists convention, that he caused damage by negli- John Craine, the effect of this is to empower a studen- in future. gence to property and to staff-police relations. He Second Year English and to speak up and stop a friend from engag- Helen Tilley, pleaded not guilty to a fine of £110. “ Philosophy student ing in a potentially dangerous feat then- Second year History Student Your:Platform Enough of what our writers and editors have to say, we sent reporters to find out what York students think of today’s issues 1. How do you feel about the SU’s work this year? 3. How energy efficient do you think the university is? 2.Is a takeaway on campus a good idea? 4. How do you feel about the Gates Foundation’s donation to York?

Name: Laura Stanley Name: Charlie Wesley Name: Fay Robinson College: Derwent College: Halifax College: Alcuin Course: EEE Course: Linguistics Course: Economics Year: 2nd Year Year: 3rd Year Year: 2nd Year

1. I’m against the campus bar closures and I’m not sure the 1. They haven’t really been all that effective, but pretty 1. There’s been quite a lot of changes this year. I was treas- SU have done enough to prevent it. much the same as the previous two years. urer for a society last year and we had a lot of problems 2. Yeah, I think a takeaway on campus would be good for 2. I suppose it would be good if you’re living on campus, with the budget, which seem to have been solved this year. students. although that depends on how good the takeaway is. 2. Yeah it’s a good idea, the food would arrive much quick- 3. Not very. There’s not enough recycling points and com- 3. They have been alright, I haven’t really noticed any er than it does from town. puters and lights are left on over night. problems. 3. It’s up to the students mostly to turn off lights in their 4. I think it’s a good thing. Bill Gates earns so m uch money 4. It’s good that Bill Gates is giving a bit of his vast amount rooms and the kitchen. The staff are quite energy efficient. he could afford to donate much more than he does. of money away. 4. It’s quit e an honour to get money off Bill Gates himself. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 27th June 2006 Snappy Snaps Sports 13 BBC and ITV FIFA to axe Poll? commence battle By Andrew Fenichel game.” However in a state- SPORTS CORRESPONDENT ment the committee did admit a serious error had MUCH HAS BEEN made of been made. According to the sometimes confusing reports, when Poll gave decisions referees have Simunic his second booking, taken at this World Cup, but he mistakenly wrote down the officials of the recent Australia’s number three, Croatia vs. Australia Group Craig Moore. Failing to F match have a great deal of realise this blunder, Simunic explaining to do. At the cen- was allowed to continue. tre of the farce, is none other Referees are, of course, than England’s ‘best’ refer- human beings and liable to ee, Graham Poll, who dur- make mistakes. This has ing the game must have long been a part of the game become the first referee in and yet we have very much the professional game to struggled to accept it. The have issued three yellow reality is that their job is far cards to one player in a sin- from an easy one and we gle match. should be able to forgive Croatia’s number three, them for that every so often Josip Simunic, was cau- harsh sending off, incorrect Lawrenson and co. have been the subject of criticism tioned in the 61st minute, offside decision, for that By Ben Masters and then received his sec- dubious penalty verdict, no in the lesser games, Mick ond booking in the final matter how much it may SPORTS CORRESPONDENT McCarthy’s interjections minute of the game. The make our blood boil. THE STATE OF the English have made both Croatian defender, dis- However what we must game on the pitch has occu- Sunderland’s plight last sea- mayed by the prospect of his not tolerate are referees who pied thousands of words and son and Roy Keane’s walk- World Cup reaching a pre- blatantly fail to apply the hours of airtime during this out in Korea and Japan four mature end, began to head rules of the game correctly. summer’s extravaganza in years ago only more under- for the tunnel when he If the match official fails in Germany and will no doubt standable. realised that Poll had failed Despite two yellow cards, Simunic was not sent off this area then the game continue to do so until The trend of employing to show him a red card and quickly develops into a joke. England’s inevitable early foreign pundits, started dur- continued to play on. of the game appropriately ed to be told that his services Poll’s shambolic perform- departure from the World ing Euro ’96 with Ruud Simunic was not so lucky with regard to Simunic, but at the World Cup are no ance overshadowed what Cup in a few days’ time. But, Gullit, has again paid off immediately following the he lost control of a game in longer required. was a momentous achieve- more than any other tourna- though. Former World Cup final whistle, when follow- which he booked eight play- FIFA’s referees commit- ment for Australia in reach- ment, a storm of controversy winning Brazil wing-back ing a confrontation with ers and sent off three. tee President Angel Maria ing the last 16. And where and debate has surrounded Leonardo offers insightful Poll he was issued his third Such a poor show is Villar Llona had words of were his assistants? It is the coverage of the tourna- and original analysis, partic- yellow card of the game and thankfully not without its support for Poll describing simply disgraceful that of ment by our esteemed ularly on his native Brazil. finally given a red card. consequences. FIFA’s refer- the English referee as the four other officials pres- national broadcasters the Marcel Desailly on the BBC In what was surely one ees committee will meet on “exceptional and a great ent, none of them attempted BBC and ITV. has been another success. of the worst performances Wednesday to decide which sportsman, who would be to intervene by taking Mark Lawrenson and Nonetheless, there does by a referee in a World Cup match officials will stay in able to overcome the situa- advantage of the communi- the increasingly incompe- seem to be an element of in recent memory, Poll not Germany and who will be tion thanks to his strong per- cation system that links tent John Motson have racial stereotyping taking only failed to apply the rules sent home, with Poll expect- sonality and love of the them together. borne the brunt of much of place with the assumption the criticism – and rightly (on both main channels) that so. The signs of Motson’s former French and Dutch decline have though been internationals Desailly and Have Brits lost their chance to apparent for a while. During Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink last season’s Liverpool v have an intricate knowledge Manchester United FA Cup of the competing African tie, Peter Crouch’s winning nations. Thankfully Ron stop the Federer bandwagon ? goal was met with the sheep- Atkinson has been nowhere skinned one proclaiming, to be seen. minutes after the event, that Another drag has been By Simon Lickley Tournament. success at the French Open, his headed goal “may have Clive Tyldsley’s apparent DEPUTY SPORTS EDITOR As for British hopes, although current holder come off the post”. Everyone obsession with the eccentric Henman's last Wimbledon Venus Williams will be keen else in the ground and at Mexican manager Ricardo STRAWBERRIES, CLIFF outing left a lot to be desired to defend her third home could hear as much as La Volpe’s smoking. Richard and rain; it’s that but reaching the last four of Wimbledon title as well as see the fact that it had Seemingly overly concerned time of the year again, where the Stella Artois tournament atone for a disastrous first crashed off both uprights. with the health of Volpe, all of Henman Hill holds its for the first time since 2003 round defeat at the The BBC have reacted Tyldsley feels the need to breath in the hope that a Brit gives hope that he may have Australian Open. Her sister to criticism of their punditry comment on this issue at the will finally win the a stronger tournament this and previous winner Serena in a staunch, if hopefully very least three times a game Wimbledon men's title for year. Britain's rising star, Williams will be absent ironic, manner. “We are – a classic being “La Volpe what would now be the first Andy Murray, made the ten- owing to a knee injury. delighted” was the response has threatened to quit on time in 70 years. This annu- The Wimbledon venue nis world sit up and take Belgian Kim Clijsters and to an article in The Sunday many occasions - his job that al two week feast for tennis notice by winning his first Frenchwoman Amelie Times which drew attention is, not smoking”. fans is soon to begin and Hewitt and Andy Roddick ATP title in February, beat- Mauresmo, winners of the to the fact that, on the BBC’s As often, the dulcet below is a look at what this will have to be at the very top ing Lleyton Hewitt and Andy most recent US and official website, fans had tones of Alan Green, Mike year’s tournament has to of their game to even get a Roddick along the way, but Australian Open's respec- been posting “offensive Ingham and Terry Butcher offer. look in. has since won only three of tively, will also be staking abuse” at the corporation’s on Radio 5 Live provide the The undoubted Indeed the only person his last twelve their claim. ailing analysts and commen- best commentary and pun- favourite for the men's title who has seriously challenged matches.However the 19 Thus as the two week tators. ditry in the British media. is Roger Federer. Having Federer's dominance of late year old will only get better tournament begins, expect Martin O’Neill’s place And while the prospect of won the last three is Rafael Nadal. He has won and his progress this year drama, upsets and an on the BBC rota of pundits crowding around the ‘wire- Wimbledon titles as well as six of his last seven matches will surely get the country undoubtedly worthy winner. offers a tantalising glimpse less’ is not especially inciting the most recent Australian against Federer, but it must chewing its collective finger- But with Federer being so of who England should have it may be the only way that and US Opens, the Swiss has be remembered that he is nails. dominant in the men’s and turned to post-Eriksson, but the world class football on now firmly established him- more of a clay court special- Unlike the men, the no female British tennis star his colleagues Ian Wright show can be matched by any- self as one of the all time ist and goes into Wimbledon women's tournament will of note, expect champagne to and Alan Shearer put for- thing approaching world greats. His record on grass is with doubts over his fitness, have no clear favourite. only be toasted with straw- ward only misguided hope class by the many ex-profes- simply incredible and chal- having injured his shoulder Justine Henin will be look- berries rather than for a and patriotism. And sat in sionals enjoying their lucra- lengers such as Lleyton at the recent Stella Artois ing to build on her recent British victory. the co-commentator’s chair tive summer employment. Sponsored by NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER 14 Sports Snappy Snaps 27th June 2006 Forty year hurt set to end?

By Sean Henderson and Spain have shown real SPORTS CORRESPONDENT strength in depth but are the only two that really stand AS A NATION, we’re a cyni- out. The only consistent cal lot when it comes to teams tend to sit at a sport. I was speaking to an mediocre level and are beat- Italian gentleman after the able if we raise our game. Trinidad game and he thinks Other than that, nobody has we’re all crazy. “You have 6 stood out as a runaway points!” he said with a smile, favourite. Maybe we should “What are you complaining be looking around us before about. Sure it wasn’t pretty we are too quick to judge. but what have you done We have a real competi- wrong? tion on our hands and the “In Italy, we think we’ll knockout stages will sort out win the World Cup if we win the men from the boys. We our group games!” He had a have a problem when we point. This World Cup has look at England, we have no sprung a few surprises at justification to say we can both ends of the scale. Now, win the World Cup easily but it seems, the World Cup is also no reason to say that living up to its name. We anybody can knock us out. have seen the American, The key to take from the Asian and African nations group performances is that making a major impact on we are showing a steady the world game and truly improvement game on game competing on a world class The nation appears to be losing hope in the England team repeating this iconic moment of 1966 forty years on and we clearly have another level, showing that anybody gear left. We’re not playing can beat anybody in this group performance. may only need one of them. of the World Cup we may age. Even the rock solid John our best and we have the competition. The top teams Of course the unfortu- This is where the true quali- have even stopped Rio Terry has had one or two players to raise their game to have not performed to the nate news of Michael Owen’s ty of our talent shows Ferdinand going up for cor- slight slips despite his unbe- achieve our potential. There standard expected, with the injury has complicated mat- through. Lampard, Gerrard ners. lievable defensive displays. are only a handful of teams, possible exception of ters and may prove to expose and Joe Cole can all easily I do acknowledge, how- Against Sweden we looked such as Brazil or Argentina, Argentina who put forward the flaws in our squad. The slip in behind the striker, ever, that we are far from strong but conceded silly who can make that claim. one of the best footballing reluctance to play Theo plus we have Michael Carrick faultless. We seem to fix one goals from set plays, an area We may not have the experi- displays so far, but the sec- Walcott is baffling, after to fill in the midfield. Even weakness for something that we are normally strong ence, as a national side, of ond rung of teams like Spain going through so much trou- the often-criticised Owen equally feeble to appear in on. Surely this is slightly the later stages but we are a have impressed. With this ble to pick him. We have Hargreaves is starting to set- the next game. If we attack pedantic however, even for very strong unit and have level across the board, no Peter Crouch scoring and a tle into the side. We’re start- well, the defence looks shaky. us. The criticisms we level at adaptable players. team should be taken to beat very fiery and passionate ing to learn how to play If we play the ball around, we England can be levelled at It’s time to start believ- any other. In context a seven- Wayne Rooney ready to along the ground and play fall out of position. We can’t most other teams in the com- ing we can really do it this point finish is an excellent carve up the planet - and we fewer long balls. By the end seem to get the whole pack- petition. For me, Argentina time. Goodricke capitalise on early promise By Nick Hassey SPORTS CORRESPONDENT its smallest. Although victory three years ago now be made of the efforts of Vanbrugh finished fourth just a distant memory it is Wentworth this year. GOODRICKE HAVE been this year and, thanks to an hard to see much for the Although only competing for crowned college sport cham- excellent college spirit still sports men and women of two terms and only playing pions after an exemplary out perform many larger col- York’s newest college to be for points in one of those it year that saw them take the leges, it is difficult to see optimistic about. Blame it on has been a promising start to lead early in the first term Vanbrugh doing as well next the lack of a bar, the frag- their re-introduction into the and never relinquish their year. With only 80 first years mented nature of the college college sport. Although there hold on top spot. Carrying on campus it will be a real or even on the fact that their remains plenty of room for their impressive late season struggle for Vanbrugh if they students just never want to improvement, their enthusi- form from last year into the are to maintain their posi- leave their en-suite rooms: asm and commitment epito- new season Goodricke had tion and avoid slipping down the fact is that too often mized by this year’s Justin built a commanding lead by the table. James sports teams either Taylor memorial award win- Christmas that was always However these prob- simply didn’t turn up or had ner Craig Wirt has been going to be difficult for the lems nothing compared to to be cobbled together at the hugely impressive and their chasing pack to overturn. those facing last year’s cham- last minute and were unable continued involvement can And despite a late charge by pions, Langwith. Unable to to do themselves or their col- only benefit college sport as a Derwent that threatened to recapture their form and lege justice. whole. derail the green and black commitment from last year Last of the colleges who The inclusion of title challenge a string of fine they have dropped rapidly competed in all three terms Wentworth has only been performances in the sum- down the table and finished Alcuin face a huge challenge one aspect of a very success- mers one day tournaments the year in fifth. Although if they are to lift themselves ful year for college sport that saw them home. Carl Worrall of James after playing Goodricke College victory in the tag rugby tour- off the bottom of the table. has also seen the introduc- The closest challenge to nament this term showed Undoubtedly possessing the tion of a Netball 2nds league Goodricke came from the last year’s third place and Halifax have been re-invigor- Langwith still have the talent talent and numbers needed and several new one day blue of Derwent who will consolidate their position at ated by their new sports rep to be serious contenders they to challenge at the top end of tournaments such as have been disappointed to the top end of the college team and look well set to must rediscover some of the the table and yet rooted to Ultimate Frisbee and have seen their campaign sports table. finally start mounting the organisation and desire of the bottom the challenge for Goalball. With more sports run out of steam towards the Behind Derwent were sort of title challenge that a last year if they want to move Alcuin is to break the cycle of and greater variety planned end with some below par Halifax, this year’s dark hors- college of their size should be back towards the top of the underachievement and cre- and with more colleges performances in the one day es had a strong finish to the capable of. table. ate a real interest in college involved than ever before, events. Nevertheless they term that saw them finish a In contrast to the opti- Another disappointing sport amongst their sports next year’s competition can be proud of a year that respectable third. Sitting in mism of York’s largest college season for James sees them men and women. could well prove to be even has seen them improve on mid-table at Christmas there are the problems facing finish in sixth and with their Finally a mention must better. NOUSE :THE UNIVERSITY OF YORK STUDENT NEWSPAPER Sponsored by 27th June 2006 Snappy Snaps Sports 15

AU Yorkshire County Cricket Edge

With AU President offer fans highs and lows Nik Engineer

By Steven Morrison like challenging for top spot For many students the end of SPORTS CORRESPONDENT in the Northern League their time at university is which would have earned simultaneously a wonderful, them a place in the final at happy time and a sad and YORKSHIRE COUNTY Lords. However, defeat on often frightening time and it’s Cricket Club will have mixed the last ball against Steve exactly the same for the sab- emotions over their progress Harmison and Durham put batical officers. so far this season after an end to that hope. Having been here for four impressing in one day While Yorkshire have years, the thought of having to games, but struggling with been struggling, their pace return to London and to leave their first class cricket. bowler Matthew Hoggard so many good friends behind is The campaign has has been enjoying a rich vein far more daunting than pre- already had several highs, of form as England’s opening senting to BUSA general coun- with Michael Vaughan’s bowler in the recent test cil or having to meet the VC. At injury comeback and Tim series with Sri Lanka. times like this though, when Bresnan’s England debut Although the series was tied, the future seems so intimidat- providing the Yorkshiremen Hoggard looked menacing ing, the best thing to do is look with talking points. after taking 15 wickets. back at your time at university However, their form in This season has also and be proud of what you’ve the County Championship marked the Yorkshire debut accomplished. has been far from impres- of Australian Ashes flop This year I can look back sive, suffering 4 defeats and Jason Gillespie. The world’s and say without any reserva- not winning yet this season. highest scoring night watch- tion or doubt that I couldn’t Without Darren Lehman’s man has continued his form have worked harder or done batting prowess it could have with the bat, helping out more for the Athletic Union or been worse; he managed to Yorkshire with a 144 9th the Students’ Union. So much hit a massive 193 runs to wicket stand with Tim has taken place, and when sen- force a draw with Kent. Bresnan against Hampshire. ior staff of the university and Form in the C & G While Yorkshire will Students’ Union say that we’ve Trophy has been better, miss out in the C & G Trophy, moved forward this year more where Yorkshire picked up a they will be hoping for an than we have for a long time, I 6 wicket victory in their roses exciting Twenty20 Cup cam- think it is safe for me to say it battle against Lancashire. At paign, starting this week as well. one stage they even looked against Durham. They will I can however also say also be looking to improve on with just as much confidence their very poor County that nothing could have hap- County Championship Championship form, pened this year without the Division 1 attempting to move up the officers that make the AU Exec pld pts table with the 4 home fix- and SU Exec the best teams at Lancaster 8 135 tures still to come. the University. Work in the Sussex 8 129 With Matthew Hoggard Students’ Union is a case of back from international duty either moving forward togeth- Hampshire 8 107 to spearhead the bowling er or regressing as individuals Kent 8 95 attack with Gillespie, and – in short, the team is every- Durham 8 90.5 Vaughan looking to play thing. Warwickshire 8 89 himself back in to form, a Regardless of what people Notts 8 67 day out at Headingley may say, some facts are undeniable Middlesex 8 58 be worth the cheap price of – the AU is held in its highest Yorkshire 8 51 admission. Yorkshire have flattered to deceive in first class cricket so far this season ever regard by the University (proved by my presentation to Council, the VC attending the Tuesday 27th June, set by Cornius AU dinner and taking the time to walk around on the busiest The Cryptic Crossword BUSA Wednesday), the budget process is better and fairer Across on a deliberation floor (5) than ever, the integrity of with eggs of 7 9. Space out on ecstasy colours awards has been 7. On impulse, I hear, across star (5, 9) evasion (6) restored, the AU finally has an spilled blood over 23. Screw agent and 12. Absorbing for every online membership system, it’s summer tourna- hesitate twice over setter’s talent (9) easier and cheaper than ever to ment (9) 7 across star (5, 7) 17. Adjusted tempera- book vehicles (though they still 8. Injured bream is 24. Inert clay is ture with feeble break down sometimes), we’ve almost ready to go destroyed for defi- journalist (7) raised more money for charity (5) nite (9) 19. Small boy and girl than ever before – over 10. Big creepy crawly of upper classes (6) £8,500, we’ve never had a year chases person on Down 20. Fatless meat to shed except this where we haven’t raised wooden 1. I’m the name (4-2) filed or lost a single BUSA bridge (8, 6) circling about at 7 21. Not a single taxi appeal and we’ve held the first 11. Paralyzed in end- across (3, 6) holds up pig meat ever online election – which less volume of date 2. A jump missing (5) lead to more people voting for puree (13) hoop by insect is next year’s Exec than ever 13. What john did to ample (8) before. These are just some of get his name? Stab 3. Japanese dancer in For this edition’s our successes. pie horribly (7) Stonehenge is I will leave knowing that 15. See 23 happy (6) answers, visit the this year has been a great year 18. 7 Across star has 4. Live with company Nouse website at for the AU, and I hope many of goddess’ determi- trend (7) you will do the same. My best nation at dilapidat- 5. Judge impure mess www.nouse.co.uk wishes to next year’s exec and ed Siam (6, 8) (6) and go to cross- to you all for the future, this is 22. Damage one cinder 6. Goes up and down word section me signing off. 16 Graham Poll faces being kicked out of the World Cup after his three-card SPORT blunder Page 9

York Men’s first eight row their way to their first appearance at the Henley Royal Regatta in eight years, despite a poor season and disappointment against Lancaster York men’s Boat Club qualify for prestigious Royal Regatta finals

By James Padmore the five days. Others include ly varied, ranging from com- the “help and dedication of having qualified for the SPORTS CORRESPONDENT the Stewards & Grand Cups, peting at the Junior World our new coach Helena, as Goblet’s Cup and racing in a which witness top interna- championships, to rowing at well as the generous funding pair. Likewise old blade and THE UNIVERSITY OF York tional crews, namely the Cambridge University. of a new 1st VIII by the ex-captain, Andy Jason who Boat club Senior Men’s 1st Great Britain VIII & coxless Men’s Captain Peter alumni last year”. now rows for Bristol’s 1st VIII qualified for the highly IV, the likes of which ex- Nicholson who rows at five The race started with a VIII, was also cheering on esteemed Henley Royal Olympic oarsmen Sir Steve in the VIII, said; “With a sea- strong wind led by Chris the crew, and will be hoping Regatta for the first time in Redgrave and Matthew son that has left a lot to be Owen who strokes the VIII; to meet them on the rowing eight years last Friday. Pinsent previously rowed in. desired, qualifying for “The adrenaline was pump- course next week. After a disappointing Overall there are thirty- Henley has made nine ing & when I took the rating Qualifying for Henley season which included the two places for University months of solid training and up to 42 strokes [per Royal Regatta for the first head coach leaving over crews in the Temple Cup. constant fitness worthwhile. minute] off the start I could time since 1998 marks a long Easter and a far from satis- Sixteen crews pre-qualified All nine of us went out there feel the whole crew respond a waited return to form of factory Roses result, the VIII for the event due to good with a lot to prove, not only behind me as one." the Boat Club. travelled down to Henley- results over the course of the to ourselves, but to other The cox, Claire Barnes, The crew are now on-Thames to compete season at other regattas. clubs and University’s, many has no problem with taking among the top thirty-two against student crews from These included the likes of of whom have written us off on the challenge of control- student eights in the country, all over the country as well as Oxford Brookes and in the past as a walkover.” In ling eight men; “I may be not forgetting the four for- the US and Europe. Fifty Loughborough, as well as fact, York beat crews from smaller”, she says, “but they eign crews also in the event. crews raced down the 2,112- The famous Henley venue numerous crews from the Leeds, Cardiff, Reading, do what they’re told, when Come Wednesday 28th June meter course with the hope US, Ireland and Holland. Bath, Manchester and most they’re told to do it. If they the VIII will line up on the of making it through to the works on a knock-out basis, Unlike most University importantly Lancaster, to don’t react to my calls start for the second time, but internationally renowned with the winning crew pro- crews, York’s is predomi- make the last sixteen. together we’ll not only be this time alongside Trinity regatta that commences gressing to the following day. nantly made up of those who Nicholson went on to men- slower, but they’ll also have College from Dublin, not Wednesday Week 10. Each With the event going on for learnt to row outside of tion that although York’s suc- to deal with me after.” only with the hope of com- crew had their time recorded five days, the final is not held school, three of which did so cess is to a large extent down York were strongly sup- peting at the highly over the course, with the until the Sunday. The at the University itself, with to the crews unparalleled ported down the course by esteemed event, but also fastest sixteen qualifying. Student VIII’s event, known the cox having only got in a commitment to training family, friends and even making it through to the sec- Henley Royal Regatta as the Temple Challenge boat for the first time last seven days a week, without some old blades. Graduates, ond round on Thursday and was first held in 1839 and is Cup, is one of nineteen sepa- October. The experience which it would not have been Dr. Rich Skinner and Dr. possibly even beyond that to held annually. The regatta rate competitions held over within the crew is also wide- possible had it not been for Angus Alisson were there the final on saturday.

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