Royal Jolly Bits Not Worth Writing a Play About

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Royal Jolly Bits Not Worth Writing a Play About 30 A&E WWW.PGCITIZEN.CA | September 22 - 28, 2012 Royal jolly bits not worth writing a play about Hollywood stability, Linsday Lohan, got up- her bad news? If she still had two legs, she’d Kill my darlings set because Bynes didn’t get in as much trou- Gabor his ass right out the door. ble as she did. I bet Linds complains when ★ ★ ★ her rails are as thick as her friends as well. I have a confession, darlings. Everybody back to your corners. I have a little-girl crush on the likes of Den- ★ ★ ★ DEAR LIZA nis Rodman. The NBC wild card has always In tales from the wig crypt, the devil- been unpredictable and loopy, but there is In a week that has been obsessed with ishly handsome Denzel Washington (even something about his broken-ness that sends Princess Kate’s thrupenny bits, it leaves me his name is good looking), appears on the me. feeling flat. As Billy would say, they are special issue of GQ magazine. Anyway, he has recently on some sports much ado about nothing. He is looking handsome in the blue-stiped show, talking about still being relevant at Can we move on from? Now if anyone has suit. But I am concerned. Perhaps Pauletta 51. He is 51? Doesn’t matter to me. pictures of Pippa’s pippas then we might isn’t getting her needs met at home, because I don’t know if the Rod Man was having have something to talk about. Denz is clearly sleeping outdoors based on a bad day, but he looked like someone had ★ ★ ★ the dead animal perched on his head. just collected him from the lost and found at The most famous other-woman, Monica Either that or maybe Monica sold him the bus station. Come on, Denny. Don’t let Lewinsky, felt that her life and reputation some spray-on hair from QVC. Either way, me down. weren’t quite at the bottom of the humidor, it’s not cute Mr. Washington. Why do you ★ ★ ★ so she’s writing a tell-all book. I’m sure it want to make me cry? Remember that guy that was in that movie will be a marvelously captivating read. One ★ ★ ★ with Julia Roberts? No, not Richard Gere. wonders where she finds the time to pen Zsa Zsa Gabor had her leg amputated early Rupert Everett. He was also in that horrible such prose, when she’s so busy hawking her last year because of a blot clot. movie with Madonna (there are so many to wares on QVC. First of all, Zsa Zsa is old – 95 to be precise. choose from). Rup seems to think that peo- ★ ★ ★ Apparently her Prince small-c-charming ple still care about what his fish-lipped mouth Amanda Bynes was once half-famous. She hubby neglected to tell her that she no has to say. Even though he seems like an aw- isn’t anyone and it seems that she isn’t tak- longer has two-legs. ful person, he believes the reason his career ing the news very well. This child has been How is that even possible? never Gered-off is because he likes boys. arrested five times for several driving boo- I’d imagine that he could have Carrie- GQ PHOTO Whatever, my little crumpet. The reason boos, and yet she continues to get behind the Bradshawed her and left it on a Post-It. He Denzell Washington on the cover of GQ your career isn’t leading-man level is because wheel. Where are the baby’s parents? There claimed that he didn’t tell her to protect her magazine. you are a pill. What’s your damage? Get off needs to be some Spears-like court mo- from the bad news. So to recap: she is miss- of one hand, eats through a feeding tube, the bitter bus and come play in the sun. tions immediately. Of course, the winner of ing a leg, apparently doesn’t have the use is 95-years-old, and he doesn’t want to give Until next time lovelies... Head Games director picks Celebrity five favourite sports films birthdays Christy LEMIRE The Associated Press minor league hockey. It holds up beauti- fully, too – it’s every bit as relevant today for Sept. 21 LOS ANGELES — Steve James made his as it was when it was made. name exploring the hopeful side of sports • Senna (2011): A riveting documen- The Canadian Press with one of the most acclaimed documen- tary about the Formula One racing rivalry taries of all time: 1994’s Hoop Dreams. between legendary Brazilian driver Ayr- Celebrity Birthdays for Sept. 21: Now, he’s shining a light on the potential ton Senna and French driver Alain Prost Jazz drummer Chico Hamilton is 91. dangers of athletics in Head Games. that ultimately ended in tragedy. A for- Actor Larry Hagman is 81. James’ latest documentary depicts the mally groundbreaking documentary by Don Preston, keyboards player with the damage, depression and even dementia Asif Kapadia that is drawn entirely from Mothers of Invention from 1965-70, is 80. that players often endure after years of thousands of hours of archival television Poet-songwriter Leonard Cohen is 78. repeated concussions. He focuses mainly footage along with only the voices of Country singer-songwriter Dickey Lee is 76. on football but points out that this kind contemporaries offering insights. Author-comedian Fanny Flagg is 71. of debilitating brain injury can occur in • Fallen Champ: The Untold Story of Mike Producer Jerry Bruckheimer is 69. any sport, from boxing to women’s soc- Tyson (1993): Barbara Kopple’s overlooked Canadian former astronaut cer, and he hopes that young, amateur great documentary was made around the Bjarni Tryggvason is 67. athletes and their families pay particular time that Tyson was convicted and went Author Stephen King is 65. attention. to prison for raping Desiree Washington. It Guitarist Don Felder of The Eagles is 65. With the film being available in theatres does a magnificent job of detailing his rise Basketball Hall of Famer Artis Gilmore is 63. and on demand beginning this weekend, and fall without moralizing or painting him Actor-comedian Bill Murray is 62. James was kind enough to take the time to as a monster. An honest, human account. Hall of Fame jockey Eddie Delahoussaye choose his five favourite sports films. Here • The Loneliness of the Long Distance is 61. he is, in his own words: HANDOUT PHOTO Runner (1962): A great and angry film Drummer Phil ”Philthy Animal” Taylor • Raging Bull (1980): Scorsese’s mas- Raging Bull, with Robert De Niro as from the British kitchen sink realism from Motorhead is 58. terpiece is the undisputed heavyweight Jake La Motta, is top of Steve James’s movement of the early ’60s that tells the Writer-producer Ethan Coen is 55. champion. A biopic of Jake LaMotta that’s list of favourite sports films. story of a troubled, blue-collar teen from Actor-comedian Dave Coulier is 53. not really a sports film yet somehow man- a dismal family background who discov- Actor David James Elliott is 52. ages to capture the sport in all its brutal- film ever. But also one of the most tren- ers running as an escape. Tom Courtenay Actress Nancy Travis is 51. ity and beauty, along with the rage, aspi- chant critiques of contemporary America gives a great performance in this gritty Actress Serena Scott-Thomas is 51. rations and impotence that fuel both its I’ve ever seen in a comedy. George Roy Tony Richardson film which has one of Actor Rob Morrow is 50. participants and fans. Hill’s film is about violence, capitalism the most uncompromising climaxes to Actress Cheryl Hines is 47. • Slap Shot (1977): The funniest sports and unfulfilled dreams set in the world of any sports film ever. Country singer Ronna Reeves is 46. Former Olympic ski champion Kerrin Lee-Gartner is 46. Country singer Faith Hill is 45. Drummer Tyler Stewart of Barenaked Ladies Shaw launches mobile app to stream TV shows and movies is 45. The Canadian Press Called Shaw Go, the app for Apple de- Shaw plans to add more content from Actress-talk show host Ricki Lake is 44. vices streams content for TV customers other sources within the next month Rapper Dave of De La Soul is 44. TORONTO — Shaw Communications who pay for Movie Central programming, and promises to eventually offer live Actor Rob Benedict is 42. has launched a mobile app to offer cus- including HBO Canada titles. streaming TV. Actor James Lesure is 42. tomers streaming access to TV shows and The app only works within Canada and The app is similar to Rogers’ Anyplace Actor Alfonso Ribeiro is 41. movies. can’t be used while travelling internationally. TV. Actor Luke Wilson is 41. 4:00 p.m. 7 MLB Baseball Toronto Blue Jays at Baltimore Orioles. Game two of a doubleheader. (Live) (3:00) Tuesday 3:30 p.m. 7 Blue Jays Central (Live) (HD) 4:00 p.m. 7 MLB Baseball Toronto Blue Jays at Baltimore Orioles. From Oriole Park at Camden Yards in Balti- more. 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