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Home , Comrade, Konstantin Chernenko, Saparmurat Niyazov, Viktor Grishin

ODUMUNC 2017 Issue Brief USSR Crisis The Autumn of Nations: The Last Days of the USSR, 1987

by Jackson Harris Old Dominion University Model

Introduction

Здравствуйте товарищи! Two year ago, in 1985 after adjourn a meeting of the Soviet Politburo, emerged as General of the Central Committee of the of the . As the new General Secretary of the Communist Party, he became the most powerful individual in the Soviet Union. He replaced the 74-year-old and long-ailing General Secretary , third in a rapid series of older leaders to die in office. At the age of 54 Comrade Gorbachev became the first Soviet- born leader of the glorious Soviet Union, the first born after the November 1917 Revolution. He is truly a revolutionary man! The situation Comrade Gorbachev inherits poses special challenges, which embolden his General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Politburo colleagues to trust leadership to an Union (CPSU) Central Committee Mikhail Gorbachev speaking at the Kremlin Palace of Congresses, 1987. exceptionally younger comrade. As you are all aware, the West is in continuous war with the In order to right the ship that was the brilliant legacy of our proletarian revolution that faltering economy of the Soviet Union, General gave birth to the largest collective the world has Secretary Gorbachev has instituted a wave of ever seen. Our vast and glorious territories do social and political reforms. Programs such as not come without cost, and we are struggling to the (economic restructuring to manage the future of the Soviet economy, the permit individual investment) and power of the Motherland and needs of our (openness of information to facilitate private people. economic activity) are setting the stage for large All our challenges arise from the same cause; scale economic acceleration, harnessing the the nefarious interference of the West, and the energy of our people under the guidance of the in particular, in our sovereign General Secretary, the Politburo and Communist affairs. The Western capitalists sanction our Party. exports, interfere with the human rights of our The year is now 1987, and all of you have people, and plot against global revolution. They been summoned to the Kremlin in to fill the minds of criminal nationalists without begin this meeting of the Central Committee of our own borders with false ideas of national self- the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR). expression, even with talk of independence from The purpose of this meeting is to support our our Motherland. And everywhere they raise the General Secretary and implement his vision specter of ruinous military competition and setting straight the path of our great country. All nuclear destruction wherever honest people of you have unique insights from across the dream of freedom. massive expanse that is the USSR. Your

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1987 USSR Crisis commitment to the Soviet Communist Party and the achievements of the Great Patriotic War and the Motherland cannot be doubted, with enslave the common man. Nothing can come of numerous ethnicities and resources represented them. in this meeting. You are the best hope for the General Secretary Gorbachev’s predecessors future of our great country. quashed previous incidents effortlessly. Their leadership brought wayward peoples back into our welcoming embrace. All the peoples of Background revolutionary Asia and Europe eternally thank us for allowing their entrance to political There are a few main topics that have lead to Elysium. It is a source of satisfaction watching this point in economic fragility. The largest, and the irrelevant ramblings of damned capitalists most damaging, is the recently ended invasion of turn into silence. . Were it not for the illegal trading of arms by the West, Soviet expansion would have gone as planned and the Afghani people would be part of Lenin’s great revolution. However, as stated, the Carter administration in the United States caused a new to develop on a level not seen since the first advent of industrialized war. The economy of the Soviet

The Kremlin, historic seat of Russian and Soviet government in Moscow

Former Comrade , former Moscow party boss (formally First Secretary of the Communist Party of Moscow), mocked in the people’s press. Current Situation

Union was stressed to an incredible degree 1987 marked the year that Boris Yeltsin proved because of this debacle, as the West has his lack of loyalty to the Soviet Union. Showing repeatedly used clandestine operations to derail that he cared only for himself, assisting Western the glory of the world’s workers. We are, capitalists, and fueling supposed Russian however, now in control of the largest nuclear against the Soviet Union (as if such arsenal ever assembled. a thing were possible), he had to be removed Recently, there have been ethnic and from his post as Moscow party boss (formally nationalist uprisings in remote and unimportant First Secretary of the Communist Party of regions of the Soviet Union and some of our Moscow). He was seen by some as the future of Comrade States of Central and Eastern Europe. the Soviet Union, but his departures from These events, inexplicable to rational thinker Communist orthodoxy has shaken the party, and and loyal Soviets, are of little importance. They even created suspicions of the intentions of are the work of nationalists and ethnic General Secretary Gorbachev. Without knowing extremists, of small and selfish minds inspired who he can trust, Secretary Gorbachev is by Western propaganda. In these minor keeping a close eye on all high ranking Soviet uprisings one plainly sees the self-serving efforts officials, while he looks to move the country of capitalists to reverse the Soviet Revolution, forward.

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1987 USSR Crisis

The traitor Yeltsin has not been seen since The main point of this Council is to establish his removal. He might be dead. At least, that is sustainable economic programs in a Communist what all of you will report back to your perspective. The Council should also consider respective Soviet Republics and Ministries. methods to inspire their people, and the Soviets (In truth, even the our loyal comrades at the worked diligently to popularize sport and art (as KGB (Комите́т госуда́рственной long as if reflected the greatness of безопа́сности, or Committee for State Security) ). Combine all of these things, and are unable to locate him. A man of little this country may just endure and prosper, consequence, he may be misleading ethnic glorifying the People’s Revolution for all nationalists and other weak minds, tempting eternity! them to assert themselves and maybe even scheme to topple all that we have built in the name of our people and glorious leaders. Their Members of the Presidium and criminal dreams only arouse our pity. While it is Central Committee of the Soviet unlikely that Yeltsin is being harbored by the United States, it would certainly explain our lack Union: of contact with him. Soviet sleeper agents will be mobilized by command of the Council, but Karen Demirchyan, President of the Armenian beware of the ramifications of doing so.) People’s Republic: An expert in electrical The United States and its Western lackeys engineering, Demirchyan is poised to offer have overcome their economic troubles of the numerous energy plans for the entirety of the 1970s and early 80s, much to our dismay. With Soviet Union. He is the leader of the Armenian illegal actions by their central banks, they tamed Communist Party, and has close ties with inflation and high oil prices. Under the after spending his education in Leningrad. leadership of the demagogic American President they are investing in a dangerous Kamran Bağırov, President of the arms race, throwing away the people’s wealth in People’s Republic: Ineffective in economic a mindless pursuit of dominance. Reagan, an reform at home in Azerbaijan, Bağırov should ideological zealot and capitalist extremist, be wary of mentioning personal experience denounces our great peace loving nation of when discussing economic platforms. Like most workers as an “Empire of Evil.” Of course of the USSR, he does not like Armenians. reverts to lowly slander and falsehoods to detract from their own failures and Yefrem Sokolov, President of the Byelorussia mischief, worst of all their rejection of the People’s Republic: One of the oldest members ascension of the proletariat. For the most part of this committee in 1987, Sokolov is a First- they will stay to themselves unless we act upon Wave Leninist. He has been around since the them, but be prepared for anything to come from early days of the Soviet Union, and has the a capitalist. largest base of experience and knowledge. Fun While the capitalists claim that the Soviet fact: at the time of writing on November 11, economy is in absolute shambles, the people of 2016 Sokolov is still alive at the age of 90. the Soviet Union know it only needs modest adjustment. Jumber Patiashvili, President of the Georgian (We in this room know the situation is indeed People’s Republic: Also still alive and an active dire. Our agriculture has stopped growing. We politician in modern , Patiashvili has a cannot modernize our industry. The rise of range of interests across the political spectrum. electrics finds us unprepared and unable to Probably the least Communist member of this respond. Our infrastructure is optimized for a council, he cares more for himself than any party coal and steel economy that cannot serve the he is a part of. needs of our people. We cannot match American militarism. That information will never leave Salamay Mukashev, President of the Kazakh this room or neither shall you.) People’s Republic: Supremely loyal to the

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1987 USSR Crisis

Soviet cause, yet yearning for more focus on his history of using their names as words. In homeland, Mukashev is stern and detests the the word “Pallayev” means a great West. Gorbachev considers him a bit of a “yes many things, from a replacement for the word man.” “good” to an adjective to describe the level of one’s Communist leanings. If you “are Tashtanbek Akmatov, President of the Kirghiz Pallayev,” it means that you would be in the People’s Republic: Deeply saddened by the good graces of the USSR. failure of annexation of Afghanistan, Akmatov is more Central Asian than Russian and makes Saparmurat Niyazov, President of the Turkmen no attempt to hide it. While he is a Leninist, he People’s Republic: A fellow alum of Karen desires for Asian Communism to model itself in Demirchyan, and also an electrical engineer, a light more akin to the USSR and despises the Niyazov fought constantly for the improvement Maoist methodology. of his country. He did not, however, fight in any wars and was sentenced for draft dodging at an Vytautas Astrauskas, President of the Lithuanian early age. One of the more tolerant Soviet People’s Republic: Astrauskas is working for the leaders, he even had a Russian-Jewish wife. expansion of Communism into Europe, and views Lithuania as a window for the West to Valentyna Shevchenko, President of the accept the revelations of Lenin and Stalin. He is People’s Republic: The only woman on the council, Shevchenko is supremely concerned with the wellbeing of her people. She is also a vehement proponent of sport in the glorification of the USSR, with football a particular favorite of hers. The Soviet victory in the 1960 EURO Tournament is a source of great national pride for Shevchenko, and the team is again looking to compete well in coming tournaments.

Viktor Grishin, Commander of the Baltic Military District: The only other man who ran against Mikhail Gorbachev for Secretary proud of the lack of capitalist sentiment in General of the Soviet Union after the death of Lithuania, and may look to propose methods for Konstantin Chernenko, Grishin resents weeding out their rhetoric. Gorbachev and views him as a plucky upstart. Seeing himself as the true successor to the helm Nicolae Ceaușescu, President of the Moldavian of the Soviet Union, Grishin’s ultimate goal is to People’s Republic: A self-proclaimed Stalinist, achieve what eluded him before. Ceaușescu was arrested at age 18 for Communist activity (which was illegal at the time) and Valeriy Aleksandrovich Belikov, Commander of labelled an enemy of the state. One of the most Soviet Forces in : Controlling East brutal leaders, even among Soviet standards, Germany is no easy task, but Belikov was seen Ceaușescu allowed zero dissonance from his as the man to take up the mantle of Warden of people and had a secret police force bettered Europe by the brass of the USSR. A real only by the KGB. Here is a picture of him hardman, Belikov is military through and welcoming the Soviet Union into Romania through and has a reputation similar to that of following a successful invasion: Chuck Norris.

Gaibnasar Pallayev, President of the Tajik Lev Zaykov, First Secretary of the Communist People’s Republic: Little is known of the Party of Moscow: The replacement for the personal life of Pallayev, save the fact that he renegade Boris Yeltsin, cursed be his name, Lev was obsessed with himself. Tajik leaders have a Zaykov is a true Soviet and is loyal to

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1987 USSR Crisis

Gorbachev. Zaykov is seen as a rising member well as the proprietor of the hotel in which this of the Communist Party and is being groomed Council is meeting, Tolkunov drinks and knows for succession after the reign of Gorbachev. His things. Many things that are shared in private family is also based in Moscow and he is known reach his ears, especially those shared within the to be a loving Muscovite often seen at large- walls of his hotel and bar. When not running the scale social events. Supreme Soviet, Tolkunov is known to chat with visitors at his bar, using the conversations as Lev Tolkunov, Chairman of the Soviet Union: A epicenters of the dissemination of new Soviet publicist and public relations mastermind, as thought and policy.

Bibliography

Anders Åslund, ’Russia's Collapse’,. Foreign Affairs, September–October 1999.

Seweryn Bialer and Joan Afferica. ‘The Genesis of Gorbachev's World’, Foreign Affairs, American and the World, 1985.

Seweryn Bialer, ‘The Death of Soviet Communism’, Foreign Affairs, Winter 1991-92.

Celestine Bohlen, "Yeltsin Deputy calls reforms Economic Genocide". , 9 February 1992.

Marylin Berger, ‘Boris N. Yeltsin, Reformer Who Broke Up the U.S.S.R., Dies at 76’, New York Times, 24 April 2017.

"Former Russian President Boris Yeltsin, who helped bring demise of Soviet Union, dead at 76". Fox News, 23 April 2007.

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