LESBIAN/GAY POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL

ETEROSEXIS H M LEN L VIO CE S ICA EXU YS AL PH p USING u g USING s in & THREATS: h p Making and/or carrying out : in p threats to do something to Making you afraid by using g a harm you. Threatening to looks, gestures, actions. sl E leave or commit suicide. Abusing pets. Displaying A Driving recklessly to frighten weapons. Using looks, X I s ir you. Threatening to “out” actions, gestures to h B a you. Threatening others reinforce homophobic o T h who are important to you. control. v E i O g . n R g in ll H N u USING ECONOMIC USING EMOTIONAL

P p : A ABUSE: Preventing you from getting or Putting you down. Making you h

O keeping a job. Making you ask for feel bad about yourself. Calling i L g t t money. Interfering with work or HO you names. Playing mind games. n ED M i i IZ O n education. Using your credit cards L H M k P Making you feel guilty. Humiliating A g without permission. Not H o you. Questioning if you are a “real” N O O

working and requiring you to R h B lesbian. Reinforcing internalized O E c support her/him. Putting assets T I homophobia. A

Power M N in partner ’s name only. I H

g

and

L r g O

a

n USING ISOLATION: i

b Control

A

USING PRIVILEGE: Controlling what you do, who you P p

b Treating you like a servant. Making

v r see or talk to. Limiting your outside p

H i N i

n all the big decisions. Acting like the ic e activities. Using jealousy to control r

s t

g

“lord of the castle.” Being the one t u R O i you. Making you account for your

m b

to define each partner’s place or & a

whereabouts. Saying no one will

E

duties in the relationship.

believe you because you’re B T

s

p lesbian or gay

I

MINIMIZING, m

X u

r A

n DENYING, &

E USING a

c

CHILDREN: BLAMING:

h g

Making you feel guilty Making light of the

in in

about the children. abuse. Saying it didn’t t

g s

Using children to relay happen. Shifting i

responsibility for w

messages. Threatening

t

abusive bahevior.

to take the children.

k

i Threatening to tell your Saying it’s your fault,

c

you deserved it.

k ex-spouse or authorities g

i

n Accusing you of n

that you are lesbian or i

g it

“mutual abuse.” Saying

gay so they will take the b

children. women can’t abuse

P women.

HY L

A S

IC XU

A E

L S V E

IOLENC

H ETEROSEXISM

Developed by Roe & Jagodinsky; inspired and adapted from: Produced and distributed by: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project 202 East Superior Street Duluth, MN 55802