LESBIAN/GAY POWER AND CONTROL WHEEL
ETEROSEXIS H M LEN L VIO CE S ICA EXU YS AL PH p USING COERCION u g USING s in & THREATS: h p Making and/or carrying out INTIMIDATION: in p threats to do something to Making you afraid by using g a harm you. Threatening to looks, gestures, actions. sl E leave or commit suicide. Abusing pets. Displaying A Driving recklessly to frighten weapons. Using looks, X I s ir you. Threatening to “out” actions, gestures to h B a you. Threatening others reinforce homophobic o T h who are important to you. control. v E i O g Stalking. n R g in ll H N u USING ECONOMIC USING EMOTIONAL
P p ABUSE: A ABUSE: Preventing you from getting or Putting you down. Making you h
O keeping a job. Making you ask for feel bad about yourself. Calling i L g t t money. Interfering with work or HO you names. Playing mind games. n ED M i i IZ O n education. Using your credit cards L H M k P Making you feel guilty. Humiliating A g without permission. Not H o you. Questioning if you are a “real” N O O
working and requiring you to R h B lesbian. Reinforcing internalized O E c support her/him. Putting assets T I homophobia. A
Power M N in partner ’s name only. I H
g
and
L r g O
a
n USING ISOLATION: i
b Control
A
USING PRIVILEGE: Controlling what you do, who you P p
b Treating you like a servant. Making
v r see or talk to. Limiting your outside p
H i N i
n all the big decisions. Acting like the ic e activities. Using jealousy to control r
s t
g
“lord of the castle.” Being the one t u R O i you. Making you account for your
m b
to define each partner’s place or & a
whereabouts. Saying no one will
E
duties in the relationship.
believe you because you’re B T
s
p lesbian or gay
I
MINIMIZING, m
X u
r A
n DENYING, &
E USING a
c
CHILDREN: BLAMING:
h g
Making you feel guilty Making light of the
in in
about the children. abuse. Saying it didn’t t
g s
Using children to relay happen. Shifting i
responsibility for w
messages. Threatening
t
abusive bahevior.
to take the children.
k
i Threatening to tell your Saying it’s your fault,
c
you deserved it.
k ex-spouse or authorities g
i
n Accusing you of n
that you are lesbian or i
g it
“mutual abuse.” Saying
gay so they will take the b
children. women can’t abuse
P women.
HY L
A S
IC XU
A E
L S V E
IOLENC
H ETEROSEXISM
Developed by Roe & Jagodinsky; inspired and adapted from: Produced and distributed by: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project 202 East Superior Street Duluth, MN 55802