Is Your Relationship Based on Power and Control?

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Is your relationship based on power and control? Physical and sexual assaults, or threats to commit them, The Power & Control diagram is a particularly helpful tool are the most apparent forms of domestic violence and are in understanding the overall pattern of abusive and usually the actions that allow others to become aware of violent behaviors, which are used by a batterer to the problem. However, regular use of other abusive establish and maintain control over his partner. Very behaviors by the batterer, when reinforced by one or more often, one or more violent incidents are accompanied by acts of physical violence, make up a larger system of an array of these other types of abuse. They are less abuse. Although physical assaults may occur only once or easily identified, yet firmly establish a pattern of occasionally, they instill threat of future violent attacks intimidation and control in the relationship. and allow the abuser to take control of the woman's life and circumstances. USING INTIMIDATION Making and/or carrying out threats Making her afraid by using to do something to hurt her looks, actions, gestures • threatening to leave her, to • smashing things• destroying commit suicide, to report her property• abusing her to welfare • making pets• displaying her drop charges• making weapons. her do illegal things. Preventing her from getting or keeping a job• making her Putting her down • making her ask for money• giving her an feel bad about herself• calling her allowance• taking her money• not names• making her think she's crazy letting her know about or have access • playing mind games• humiliating her to family income. POWER • making her feel guilty. AND USING MALE PRIVILEGE CONTROL USING ISOLATION Treating her like a servant• making all the Controlling what she does, who she sees big decisions• acting like the "master of and talks to, what she reads, where the castle" • being the one to she goes• limiting her outside define men's and women's roles involvement• using jealousy to justify actions. USING MINIMIZING, CHILDREN DENYING Making her feel guilty AND BLAMING about the children • using Making light of the abuse the children to relay messages and not taking her concerns • using visitation to harass her about it seriously• saying the • threatening to take the abuse didn't happen • shifting respon children away. sibility for abusive behavior• saying she caused it. Domestic Abuse Intervention Project l 206 West Fourth Street l Duluth, Minnesota 55806 l 218/722-4134 NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE • 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) • WWW.THEHOTLINE.ORG .

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