Issue 06 May 2013
Facing the tough issues of youth & young adult ministry. we need to talk p.13 about pornography Craig Gross | Founder | XXXChurch welcome to australia p.11 Brad Chilcott Founder | Welcome to Australia our untold story p.3 Dale Stephenson Crossway Baptist Church
The babes project p.6 Helen Parker Founder | The Babes Project ministering in p.17 tough places Jon Owen | UNOH contributors from the editor
Dale Rowan Helen It could be argued that the state of our young people is the best indicator KEY YOUTH VISION DATES of the health of our society. Within our young people lies our potential, Stephenson Lewis Parker dreams, joy and future. However within this group we also see the a clear State Youth Games picture of our problems. Our teens seem to be the place where our collective June 7-10 Dale Stephenson has been Senior Rowan is the Lecturer in Youth Helen is the Founder and Director of disfunction and insecurity manifest. It is where we see the consequences of Pastor of Crossway Baptist Studies at Tabor College Victoria The Babes Project, a Not-for-Profit what the generation before them have wrongly valued, permitted or swept Quench - Western Region Church, a multi-ethnic and multi- where he has been a part of Year Organisation committed to walking under the rug. Youth Ministers Gathering generational body of worshippers, in the Son as well as training alongside women facing crisis July 19-20 in Melbourne, Australia since community based youth workers pregnancy, promoting adoption and As youth and young adult ministers we are directly exposed to the best and January 2008. Known as an for the last 8 years. Rowan is parenting as positive alternatives to worst of youth culture. The phenomenal potential, growth, and stories of YV Connect Breakfast innovative and positive leader, committed to the tradition of abortion. The Babes Project opened hope and beauty. But also the immense turmoil, trauma, pain and disfunction August 31 Dale is always looking to place the spiritual formation in young their first Pregnancy Support Centre that affects young people. Church to become more relevant people, which is the focus of his in February of last year. and engaged within the local PhD study. He is married to Kirra It’s tough. Illuminate Camp community. He is married to Edi and has three energetic children. September 23-27 and has 4 children. Being on the front line, bearing the brunt of what can at times be immense pain from the young people we lead, can be a lonely and heavy place. National Youth Ministry Convention QLD Brad Craig Jon In this edition of the we have deliberately tackled some of the tough October 23-26 Chilcott Gross Owen stuff. These are not the issues you probably choose to bring up regularly in your leaders meetings, they might not even be things you’re thinking about. Brad is the founder of ‘Welcome to Craig is an author, speaker, and Jon has been a part of UNOH, an But the nature of youth ministry would suggest that if you are not thinking Australia’, a national organisation pastor residing in Los Angeles. incarnational order serving the about these issues now you will need to in the future. designed to encourage everyday In 2002 he founded the website poor, since 1997. He currently So think of our nine contributors as mentors who are not afraid to sit you Australians to cultivate a culture of XXXchurch.com which has lives with his wife Lisa in one of down and talk about hard topics. welcome in their local communities gone on to have over 70 million Australia’s largest public housing and nation. Prime Minister Julia visitors. Craig also spearheaded estates in Western Sydney, It is our hope that this collection of articles will bolster you as you face some Gillard appointed Brad as a People the development of X3watch, an ministering to the urban poor of of this tough stuff. That it will help you feel more equipped and less alone. of Australia Ambassador in 2012. Internet accountability system that Mt. Druitt along with their three He is married to Rachel and the is used by over 1 million people. girls, Kshama, Kiera and Jazmin, — Amy Stephenson father of three beautiful children. Craig is the author of nine books. who keep him human. He is husband to Jeanette and father to Nolan and Elise. Note | We have faced a number of tough topics head on, meaning that this magazine contains content that may be confronting, upsetting or even offensive Jessica Jamie Kylie to some readers. We have decided not to shy away from the nasty and the graphic in the hope that by looking the awful things in the face we might be Killeen Haith Butler better equipped and motivated to deal with them. These issues dramatically affect all of us and we encourage you to respond to them in your own context in Jess Killeen is a Registered Social Jamie has been on staff at Holy Kylie is the Emerging Leadership an appropriate and constructive manner. Worker with 20 years experience Trinity Brompton in London, Facilitator at the Baptist Union in supporting young people in England for the last 20 years and has Victoria and author of Milk to Please be mindful of this as you distribute this magazine – especially schools and training volunteers helped to develop the Alpha Course Meat, a 60 day devotional helping if it is distributed in a way that young people could access it. and professionals. She is currently worldwide. Along with his wife people get into the Bible. She is employed as a School Counsellor Andy and four young children he has a Leadership Coach, focused on working with children, teenagers recently moved to the USA to lead transitions and breakthrough. Kylie and families. Jess approaches Holy Trinity Church in Virginia. is married to Adam, they have two children and young people with a beautiful children, Toby and Lily. genuine curiosity and is constantly learning from the wisdom they have A 1st Floor, 582 Heidelburg Rd. about their own lives. Fairfield VIC 3078
Youth Vision is the youth and young adult ministry arm of Mission and Ministry Inc, a P 03 9488 8800 partner department of the Conference of Churches of Christ in Victoria and Tasmania. W vic.youthvision.org.au Designed by Oak & Ink Creative The Youth Vision team consists of Brenton Killeen, Jason Sawyer, Kat Deith oakandink.com & Amy Stephenson. E [email protected] contributors from the editor
Dale Rowan Helen It could be argued that the state of our young people is the best indicator KEY YOUTH VISION DATES of the health of our society. Within our young people lies our potential, Stephenson Lewis Parker dreams, joy and future. However within this group we also see the a clear State Youth Games picture of our problems. Our teens seem to be the place where our collective June 7-10 Dale Stephenson has been Senior Rowan is the Lecturer in Youth Helen is the Founder and Director of disfunction and insecurity manifest. It is where we see the consequences of Pastor of Crossway Baptist Studies at Tabor College Victoria The Babes Project, a Not-for-Profit what the generation before them have wrongly valued, permitted or swept Quench - Western Region Church, a multi-ethnic and multi- where he has been a part of Year Organisation committed to walking under the rug. Youth Ministers Gathering generational body of worshippers, in the Son as well as training alongside women facing crisis July 19-20 in Melbourne, Australia since community based youth workers pregnancy, promoting adoption and As youth and young adult ministers we are directly exposed to the best and January 2008. Known as an for the last 8 years. Rowan is parenting as positive alternatives to worst of youth culture. The phenomenal potential, growth, and stories of YV Connect Breakfast innovative and positive leader, committed to the tradition of abortion. The Babes Project opened hope and beauty. But also the immense turmoil, trauma, pain and disfunction August 31 Dale is always looking to place the spiritual formation in young their first Pregnancy Support Centre that affects young people. Church to become more relevant people, which is the focus of his in February of last year. and engaged within the local PhD study. He is married to Kirra It’s tough. Illuminate Camp community. He is married to Edi and has three energetic children. September 23-27 and has 4 children. Being on the front line, bearing the brunt of what can at times be immense pain from the young people we lead, can be a lonely and heavy place. National Youth Ministry Convention QLD Brad Craig Jon In this edition of the we have deliberately tackled some of the tough October 23-26 Chilcott Gross Owen stuff. These are not the issues you probably choose to bring up regularly in your leaders meetings, they might not even be things you’re thinking about. Brad is the founder of ‘Welcome to Craig is an author, speaker, and Jon has been a part of UNOH, an But the nature of youth ministry would suggest that if you are not thinking Australia’, a national organisation pastor residing in Los Angeles. incarnational order serving the about these issues now you will need to in the future. designed to encourage everyday In 2002 he founded the website poor, since 1997. He currently So think of our nine contributors as mentors who are not afraid to sit you Australians to cultivate a culture of XXXchurch.com which has lives with his wife Lisa in one of down and talk about hard topics. welcome in their local communities gone on to have over 70 million Australia’s largest public housing and nation. Prime Minister Julia visitors. Craig also spearheaded estates in Western Sydney, It is our hope that this collection of articles will bolster you as you face some Gillard appointed Brad as a People the development of X3watch, an ministering to the urban poor of of this tough stuff. That it will help you feel more equipped and less alone. of Australia Ambassador in 2012. Internet accountability system that Mt. Druitt along with their three He is married to Rachel and the is used by over 1 million people. girls, Kshama, Kiera and Jazmin, — Amy Stephenson father of three beautiful children. Craig is the author of nine books. who keep him human. He is husband to Jeanette and father to Nolan and Elise. Note | We have faced a number of tough topics head on, meaning that this magazine contains content that may be confronting, upsetting or even offensive Jessica Jamie Kylie to some readers. We have decided not to shy away from the nasty and the graphic in the hope that by looking the awful things in the face we might be Killeen Haith Butler better equipped and motivated to deal with them. These issues dramatically affect all of us and we encourage you to respond to them in your own context in Jess Killeen is a Registered Social Jamie has been on staff at Holy Kylie is the Emerging Leadership an appropriate and constructive manner. Worker with 20 years experience Trinity Brompton in London, Facilitator at the Baptist Union in supporting young people in England for the last 20 years and has Victoria and author of Milk to Please be mindful of this as you distribute this magazine – especially schools and training volunteers helped to develop the Alpha Course Meat, a 60 day devotional helping if it is distributed in a way that young people could access it. and professionals. She is currently worldwide. Along with his wife people get into the Bible. She is employed as a School Counsellor Andy and four young children he has a Leadership Coach, focused on working with children, teenagers recently moved to the USA to lead transitions and breakthrough. Kylie and families. Jess approaches Holy Trinity Church in Virginia. is married to Adam, they have two children and young people with a beautiful children, Toby and Lily. genuine curiosity and is constantly learning from the wisdom they have A 1st Floor, 582 Heidelburg Rd. about their own lives. Fairfield VIC 3078
Youth Vision is the youth and young adult ministry arm of Mission and Ministry Inc, a P 03 9488 8800 partner department of the Conference of Churches of Christ in Victoria and Tasmania. W vic.youthvision.org.au Designed by Oak & Ink Creative The Youth Vision team consists of Brenton Killeen, Jason Sawyer, Kat Deith oakandink.com & Amy Stephenson. E [email protected] our untold history Our Indigenous brothers and sisters are, by almost any social indicator, the most disadvantaged group in Australia. The unemployment rate is May 2013 estimated at over thirty per cent. Average annual income for Indigenous Writer Dale Stephenson people is two-thirds the national figure. Indigenous a for home ownership, school completion and tertiary qualifications are all less than half In November of 2011 I preached a me a rather sterilised view of what This is all true of the indigenous that of other Australians. series at Crossway entitled ‘Justice: actually took place when England community in Australia. Does God Really Care?’ In that series invaded this great south land and Indigenous people living in Victoria, having been there There was a trial of seven white men accused of the
I sought to engage with the concept of declared it Terra Nullius, a Latin In 1 Kings 21 we find the story of Quarterly I ssue 06 for about 40,000 years. A mere 40 years later, in 1830, brutal and cold-blooded massacre of 28 black men, justice, particularly around the themes expression deriving from Roman King Ahab taking Naboth’s vineyard. when Europeans settled there, this figure was reduced to women and children at Henry Dangar’s Myall Creek of poverty both global and local, law meaning ‘land belonging to no The core of the story is that the one
between 10,000 and 15,000 due to smallpox epidemics Station on the Liverpool Plains. They not only murdered p.4 people trafficking, asylum seekers one’ or ‘no man’s land’. with the power took land from the one caught from sailors passing by. Then within twenty but raped and tortured. The details of their activities and Indigenous issues. I opened the with no power and had him murdered. years, staggeringly, the population was reduced to less are too gruesome to be recounted in this environment final message on Indigenous issues Ross Langmead produced an How do you feel about what Ahab than 2,000, due to violence and disease. but are hideous in the extreme. They were originally with the following: excellent paper entitled ‘Indigenous did? There were the two charges that Reconciliation: What can the Elijah brought from God against King acquitted. Here is a quote from one of the jurors in the Along with this staggering loss of life and decimation of Of all of the topics that we have Church offer and receive?’ In it Ahab; that he had murdered and that case against these seven men: population were other crimes: covered in this series this topic of he notes that “It is estimated that he had stolen property. I look on the blacks as a set of monkeys, and the earlier our Indigenous brothers and sisters the various Indigenous peoples • children taken; they are exterminated from the face of the earth the will no doubt be the closest to home groups of the world number about Imagine with me that we are Ahab’s better. I would never consent to hang a white man for a and possibly also be the topic that 250 to 350 million people. It is great grandchildren. We are still on • entire people groups moved off their land black one. I knew well they were guilty of the murder, people have the strongest opinions disturbing to note the similarity that vineyard that was Naboth’s and and pushed into another group’s country; but I for one would never see a white man suffer for on. I would like to note that I am of their experiences, especially have employed a fabulous French shooting a black. grossly underqualified to speak those subjected to Western vintner and are producing a very nice • women being abducted and taken to cattle about these matters but believe colonialisation.” Some of these drop which is selling for well over stations as prostitutes to encourage drovers; Another wrote in the Sydney Herald on 5th Oct, 1838: that they need to be spoken. To any similarities are: $40 a bottle for the last few vintages. [They are] the most degenerate, despicable and brutal Indigenous person who might be We’re pulling in about $10k in cash • women being turned into domestic race of human beings in existence, and stand as it were here today I pay my respects and • Their close relationship to the profits every week now. What should servants with their pay being held (still) in scorn to ‘shame creation’ - a scoff and a jest upon recognise the Wurundjeri people land was misunderstood, we do? Do we have any obligations by the government. humanity, they are insensible to every bond which binds as the traditional owners of the denied and broken; to the former owner from whom man to his friend: husband to wife, parent to its child land that this church is built upon. the vineyard was stolen all those In more recent years we have unintentionally or creature to its God. They stand unprecedented in the I also ask for forgiveness from • They were subjected to generations ago? but effectively removed any sense of hope and annals of the most ancient and barbarous histories for any Indigenous people present or gradual land dispossession, purpose from our Aboriginal brothers and sisters. the anti-civilising propensities they put forth. listening. While today’s message often through trickery, The problem is that we are in There is so much more, but I am left with a dilemma… broken treaties or violent pretty much in this position. Our shall be of interest and educational How do I respond? How do we respond? Strictly Jumping forward nearly seventy years, “Brutish, dispossession; forebears came to Australia and liked to this multicultural gathering, speaking, there is a need for national conciliation, not faithless, vicious, the animal being given fullest loose for you it is immeasurably and the ‘vineyard’ so much that they reconciliation, as a friendship has first to be established • They have suffered only approached by his next of kin the monkey... the constantly painful. I assure you of murdered the owners and stole the if it is going to be restored. decimation, loss of culture, Australian black may have a soul but, if he has, then the my deep respect for you and for vineyard. In the words of a Christian loss of language, deterior- horse and the dog, infinitely superior in every way to the your full human dignity as men and writing as recently as 1923, “the Langmead summarises the core of the injustices and ating health, continuing black human, cannot be denied possession of that vital women made in the image of God. I white men... took the best of the land sufferings of the Australian Indigenous people like this: violence and a general spark of heavenly flame.” hope that nothing I say will offend for the sheep and cattle, killing the “The fundamental injustice remains one of invasion despair as they have black men’s food... The blacks tried to you or hurt you. without treaty in which a set of peoples deeply connected Untold massacres and misery. From the 1790s there are struggled to find a new drive the settlers out of their country... to their land as mother, as source of life and as sacred so many documented massacres (not one-off murders identity on the edge of an but the white men were not to be Why the ultra-long and careful were cut off from their land and thereby robbed of their or disputes, but mass killings) right through to the 1932 overwhelming immigrant driven back. They armed themselves introduction to a sermon? Surely identity, law, mythology and spirituality.” The scale of Caledon Bay crisis, in which at last the courts were used to culture; and made open war upon these poor this is over the top and a less formal this level of marginalisation is hard to grasp. resolve a dispute and a mob, who was ready to go and ‘kill introduction would have sufficed. blacks... As we look back over these • Many have succumbed to blacks’, was restrained. The early massacres at the point of Actually, no, it would not have. years there is much that we have to be The profound misunderstanding and barbarous attitudes boredom, unemployment, 1 a gun or due to poisoned flour are well documented, though I have been on a steep catch-up ashamed of.” towards the Indigenous community that existed in 19th alcoholism, violence and a few historians still challenge the extent of these. and growth curve on Indigenous Century Australia are recorded. Lancelot Threlkeld, abuse as symptoms of their So it was not long before the issues. The more that I have learned a Congregational Missionary, wrote in 1853, “It was Some killings are within living memory. In order to help cultural malaise; Indigenous people, previously the more embarrassed I am that maintained by many of the colony that the blacks had a dying race to die, it was government policy in the early I have reached the age of 48 and spread across the continent in 500 no language at all but were only a race of the monkey • In many cases, indigenous 19th century to ‘interbreed’ full-blooded Aborigines in am exercising modest levels of proud language groups, were an tribe. This was a convenient assumption, for if it could people are both the most order to genetically assimilate those who still survived. leadership and yet I know so little. ethnic minority in their own land, be proved that the Aborigines... were only a species of socially disadvantaged and Indigenous people were not counted as citizens with Australian history as taught at struggling to survive the invasion wild beats, there could be no guilt attributed to those the most marginalised people voting rights until 1967. Blackburn High in the 70’s gave of their land. It is estimated that who shot them off or poisoned them.” in their own country. in 1790 there were about 60,000
1 No author named, [1923], Neighbours of the Never-Never , Sydney: Church Missionary Society, p. 16, as cited in Harris, 1998, p.449 our untold history Our Indigenous brothers and sisters are, by almost any social indicator, the most disadvantaged group in Australia. The unemployment rate is May 2013 estimated at over thirty per cent. Average annual income for Indigenous Writer Dale Stephenson people is two-thirds the national figure. Indigenous a for home ownership, school completion and tertiary qualifications are all less than half In November of 2011 I preached a me a rather sterilised view of what This is all true of the indigenous that of other Australians. series at Crossway entitled ‘Justice: actually took place when England community in Australia. Does God Really Care?’ In that series invaded this great south land and Indigenous people living in Victoria, having been there There was a trial of seven white men accused of the
I sought to engage with the concept of declared it Terra Nullius, a Latin In 1 Kings 21 we find the story of Quarterly I ssue 06 for about 40,000 years. A mere 40 years later, in 1830, brutal and cold-blooded massacre of 28 black men, justice, particularly around the themes expression deriving from Roman King Ahab taking Naboth’s vineyard. when Europeans settled there, this figure was reduced to women and children at Henry Dangar’s Myall Creek of poverty both global and local, law meaning ‘land belonging to no The core of the story is that the one
between 10,000 and 15,000 due to smallpox epidemics Station on the Liverpool Plains. They not only murdered p.4 people trafficking, asylum seekers one’ or ‘no man’s land’. with the power took land from the one caught from sailors passing by. Then within twenty but raped and tortured. The details of their activities and Indigenous issues. I opened the with no power and had him murdered. years, staggeringly, the population was reduced to less are too gruesome to be recounted in this environment final message on Indigenous issues Ross Langmead produced an How do you feel about what Ahab than 2,000, due to violence and disease. but are hideous in the extreme. They were originally with the following: excellent paper entitled ‘Indigenous did? There were the two charges that Reconciliation: What can the Elijah brought from God against King acquitted. Here is a quote from one of the jurors in the Along with this staggering loss of life and decimation of Of all of the topics that we have Church offer and receive?’ In it Ahab; that he had murdered and that case against these seven men: population were other crimes: covered in this series this topic of he notes that “It is estimated that he had stolen property. I look on the blacks as a set of monkeys, and the earlier our Indigenous brothers and sisters the various Indigenous peoples • children taken; they are exterminated from the face of the earth the will no doubt be the closest to home groups of the world number about Imagine with me that we are Ahab’s better. I would never consent to hang a white man for a and possibly also be the topic that 250 to 350 million people. It is great grandchildren. We are still on • entire people groups moved off their land black one. I knew well they were guilty of the murder, people have the strongest opinions disturbing to note the similarity that vineyard that was Naboth’s and and pushed into another group’s country; but I for one would never see a white man suffer for on. I would like to note that I am of their experiences, especially have employed a fabulous French shooting a black. grossly underqualified to speak those subjected to Western vintner and are producing a very nice • women being abducted and taken to cattle about these matters but believe colonialisation.” Some of these drop which is selling for well over stations as prostitutes to encourage drovers; Another wrote in the Sydney Herald on 5th Oct, 1838: that they need to be spoken. To any similarities are: $40 a bottle for the last few vintages. [They are] the most degenerate, despicable and brutal Indigenous person who might be We’re pulling in about $10k in cash • women being turned into domestic race of human beings in existence, and stand as it were here today I pay my respects and • Their close relationship to the profits every week now. What should servants with their pay being held (still) in scorn to ‘shame creation’ - a scoff and a jest upon recognise the Wurundjeri people land was misunderstood, we do? Do we have any obligations by the government. humanity, they are insensible to every bond which binds as the traditional owners of the denied and broken; to the former owner from whom man to his friend: husband to wife, parent to its child land that this church is built upon. the vineyard was stolen all those In more recent years we have unintentionally or creature to its God. They stand unprecedented in the I also ask for forgiveness from • They were subjected to generations ago? but effectively removed any sense of hope and annals of the most ancient and barbarous histories for any Indigenous people present or gradual land dispossession, purpose from our Aboriginal brothers and sisters. the anti-civilising propensities they put forth. listening. While today’s message often through trickery, The problem is that we are in There is so much more, but I am left with a dilemma… broken treaties or violent pretty much in this position. Our shall be of interest and educational How do I respond? How do we respond? Strictly Jumping forward nearly seventy years, “Brutish, dispossession; forebears came to Australia and liked to this multicultural gathering, speaking, there is a need for national conciliation, not faithless, vicious, the animal being given fullest loose for you it is immeasurably and the ‘vineyard’ so much that they reconciliation, as a friendship has first to be established • They have suffered only approached by his next of kin the monkey... the constantly painful. I assure you of murdered the owners and stole the if it is going to be restored. decimation, loss of culture, Australian black may have a soul but, if he has, then the my deep respect for you and for vineyard. In the words of a Christian loss of language, deterior- horse and the dog, infinitely superior in every way to the your full human dignity as men and writing as recently as 1923, “the Langmead summarises the core of the injustices and ating health, continuing black human, cannot be denied possession of that vital women made in the image of God. I white men... took the best of the land sufferings of the Australian Indigenous people like this: violence and a general spark of heavenly flame.” hope that nothing I say will offend for the sheep and cattle, killing the “The fundamental injustice remains one of invasion despair as they have black men’s food... The blacks tried to you or hurt you. without treaty in which a set of peoples deeply connected Untold massacres and misery. From the 1790s there are struggled to find a new drive the settlers out of their country... to their land as mother, as source of life and as sacred so many documented massacres (not one-off murders identity on the edge of an but the white men were not to be Why the ultra-long and careful were cut off from their land and thereby robbed of their or disputes, but mass killings) right through to the 1932 overwhelming immigrant driven back. They armed themselves introduction to a sermon? Surely identity, law, mythology and spirituality.” The scale of Caledon Bay crisis, in which at last the courts were used to culture; and made open war upon these poor this is over the top and a less formal this level of marginalisation is hard to grasp. resolve a dispute and a mob, who was ready to go and ‘kill introduction would have sufficed. blacks... As we look back over these • Many have succumbed to blacks’, was restrained. The early massacres at the point of Actually, no, it would not have. years there is much that we have to be The profound misunderstanding and barbarous attitudes boredom, unemployment, 1 a gun or due to poisoned flour are well documented, though I have been on a steep catch-up ashamed of.” towards the Indigenous community that existed in 19th alcoholism, violence and a few historians still challenge the extent of these. and growth curve on Indigenous Century Australia are recorded. Lancelot Threlkeld, abuse as symptoms of their So it was not long before the issues. The more that I have learned a Congregational Missionary, wrote in 1853, “It was Some killings are within living memory. In order to help cultural malaise; Indigenous people, previously the more embarrassed I am that maintained by many of the colony that the blacks had a dying race to die, it was government policy in the early I have reached the age of 48 and spread across the continent in 500 no language at all but were only a race of the monkey • In many cases, indigenous 19th century to ‘interbreed’ full-blooded Aborigines in am exercising modest levels of proud language groups, were an tribe. This was a convenient assumption, for if it could people are both the most order to genetically assimilate those who still survived. leadership and yet I know so little. ethnic minority in their own land, be proved that the Aborigines... were only a species of socially disadvantaged and Indigenous people were not counted as citizens with Australian history as taught at struggling to survive the invasion wild beats, there could be no guilt attributed to those the most marginalised people voting rights until 1967. Blackburn High in the 70’s gave of their land. It is estimated that who shot them off or poisoned them.” in their own country. in 1790 there were about 60,000
1 No author named, [1923], Neighbours of the Never-Never , Sydney: Church Missionary Society, p. 16, as cited in Harris, 1998, p.449 Langmead notes, “The response of the church to this situation is made more complicated by the fact that in many cases the church has ‘missionised’ these people the babes project as part of their being colonised by the West. While May 2013 sometimes the church defended Indigenous people Writer Helen Parker against westernisation and commercial exploitation, it has also often been complicit in denigrating indigenous culture and religion and helping to ‘civilise’ Indigenous “most girls here just Young people are walking through Babes Project was able to talk her through options and people in Western ways.” the doors of The Babes Project as the book her in for an appointment with a support worker. see abortion as an future they had planned crumbles We were so relieved that she had a safe place to come.
So while the Anglican Church ordained a Chinese opportunity to be selfish before their eyes. Many don’t think Quarterly I ssue 06 minister as early as 1885, it was not until over a century about becoming pregnant or how The greater vision for The Babes Project is to increase later in the 1990s that the first Indigenous Anglican and continue going to they will cope with it, until it our support of women into a residential setting, through clergy were recognised. The Baptists only ordained parties and having fun... happens to them. the building of a home that women can come to during p.6 their first Indigenous Pastor a little earlier. I had the pregnancy. The Babes Project Pregnancy Support Centres privilege of spending a week with the first ordained they never saw it as a It happened to me. I found out I was pregnant at 20, would be the ideal setting to highlight those who might Baptist Indigenous Pastor. His name is Graham Paulson, negative, but now we’ve whilst studying architecture at university. With very need to access our residential program. The big dream a wonderful man of God and a respected elder within the little support, I was confused and didn’t know where is to see abortion rates decline, adoption embraced and Indigenous community. at least started talking to turn and the doctor subsequently booked me in for a improved outcomes for young parents and their children. about it and challenging termination. This was not at all what I wanted to do and I Our crimes and those of our forebears are many. They was alarmed at how easily this had been made available. I The Babes Project knows its goals, but we are also include genocide and cultural destruction which has each other.” went back to church, moved in with my youth pastor and passionate about being community focused; providing led to poor health and substance abuse. Currently the proceeded with my pregnancy. what the community needs, what women highlight as Indigenous community has a life expectancy nearly important and what is clearly lacking. One major issue twenty years shorter than the Australian average and Soon after my daughter was born, God taught me to that we’ve seen consistently is the lack of ‘safe spaces’ and suffer three times the diabetes rate. Alcohol addiction dream again and I approached my local hospital about so our Pregnancy Support Centres will also operate as a is a widespread problem, and amongst teenagers in supporting young women facing crisis pregnancy. This safe environment where women can retreat to when feeling outback communities so is petrol sniffing. Children began four years in which we provided peer support vulnerable. We had an 18 year old come into the Croydon were removed from parents. There have been deaths in and life skills programs for the young women there. Pregnancy Support Centre recently who said “this place is custody and secondary violence and sexual abuse as by- Throughout this time I heard too many stories of how cool, I’ll come back for sure.” This is a victory for us, products. It seems that one consequence of experiencing simply abortion was promoted, together with much creating a space she feels comfortable to use. violence and oppression is secondary violence, where experience of grief and loss. The women were from the oppressed take out frustrations and despair on those varied backgrounds and all struggled to find adequate Adoption is another part of the Crisis Pregnancy discussion, nearest to them. support during their pregnancies and then again as they which we often find ourselves addressing. Australia is a adapted to the role of parenting. country with deep wounds from past adoption practices. Our Indigenous brothers and sisters are, by almost any There are many who are hurt and against any type of social indicator, the most disadvantaged group in Australia. This highlighted a need for more structured, long-term advocacy for adoption. We believe that at a government The unemployment rate is estimated at over thirty per cent. support for women and so in 2009, The Babes Project level we need to engage in discussion about what adoption Average annual income for Indigenous people is two-thirds began; focusing on promoting adoption and parenting as can look like and be committed to lobbying for reasonable the national figure. Indigenous rates for home ownership, positive alternatives to abortion. change. Once we see adoption working well, it is our school completion and tertiary qualifications are all less hope that it can be embraced by women who might have than half that of other Australians. The Babes Project is particularly committed to refining alternatively chosen abortion. Advocating for adoption has an excellent model for pregnancy centres, providing so far been our greatest challenge. We have a pretty good handle on basic justice, living holistic care for women and their children, which can in a rule-of-law respecting democracy. We expect that subsequently be duplicated throughout Australia. The The Babes Project is an organisation that wants to begin if someone does something wrong, they need to make first steps toward this becoming a reality for The Babes the conversation about crisis pregnancy, abortion and amends. If we scratch our neighbour’s car, we pay for the Project happened earlier this year when on Valentine’s adoption. After I spoke to the senior students of a local repairs. If we deliberately injure someone, we go to jail. Day, our first Pregnancy Support Centre was opened. high school the feedback was encouraging. One student If we defraud someone of their property, we must repay communicated, “most girls here just see abortion as an it in addition to our other punishment. This all seems Based in Croydon, Victoria, the Pregnancy Support opportunity to be selfish and continue going to parties and pretty straightforward and supported by God’s teachings. Centre is an answer to much prayer. The response from having fun... they never saw it as a negative, but now we’ve Saying sorry is clearly not enough when we continue to the community, supporters and clients in the months at least started talking about it and challenging each other.” benefit from the sin of our forebears. I pray that God will since opening has been a huge encouragement to our give us all the grace to come alongside our Indigenous team. We knew there was a need, but to have girls And that’s what we love at The Babes Project; seeing the brothers and sisters in friendship and deep mutual respect come to you, trust you and say “can you please help?” is topic embraced, challenged and discussed. It is our hope as we together seek a better future for all. beyond any dream. that this will lead to one day seeing all women with access to high quality assistance to proceed with pregnancy in a One young teen recently walked in with her boyfriend, loving, compassionate and non-judgmental environment. wearing school uniforms, with school bags on their backs. She took two steps in the door, stopped, dropped Register your interest for further information and access For more information or support head to thebabesproject.com to small group material australianstogether.com her hands to her side and stated “I’m pregnant.” The Langmead notes, “The response of the church to this situation is made more complicated by the fact that in many cases the church has ‘missionised’ these people the babes project as part of their being colonised by the West. While May 2013 sometimes the church defended Indigenous people Writer Helen Parker against westernisation and commercial exploitation, it has also often been complicit in denigrating indigenous culture and religion and helping to ‘civilise’ Indigenous “most girls here just Young people are walking through Babes Project was able to talk her through options and people in Western ways.” the doors of The Babes Project as the book her in for an appointment with a support worker. see abortion as an future they had planned crumbles We were so relieved that she had a safe place to come.
So while the Anglican Church ordained a Chinese opportunity to be selfish before their eyes. Many don’t think Quarterly I ssue 06 minister as early as 1885, it was not until over a century about becoming pregnant or how The greater vision for The Babes Project is to increase later in the 1990s that the first Indigenous Anglican and continue going to they will cope with it, until it our support of women into a residential setting, through clergy were recognised. The Baptists only ordained parties and having fun... happens to them. the building of a home that women can come to during p.6 their first Indigenous Pastor a little earlier. I had the pregnancy. The Babes Project Pregnancy Support Centres privilege of spending a week with the first ordained they never saw it as a It happened to me. I found out I was pregnant at 20, would be the ideal setting to highlight those who might Baptist Indigenous Pastor. His name is Graham Paulson, negative, but now we’ve whilst studying architecture at university. With very need to access our residential program. The big dream a wonderful man of God and a respected elder within the little support, I was confused and didn’t know where is to see abortion rates decline, adoption embraced and Indigenous community. at least started talking to turn and the doctor subsequently booked me in for a improved outcomes for young parents and their children. about it and challenging termination. This was not at all what I wanted to do and I Our crimes and those of our forebears are many. They was alarmed at how easily this had been made available. I The Babes Project knows its goals, but we are also include genocide and cultural destruction which has each other.” went back to church, moved in with my youth pastor and passionate about being community focused; providing led to poor health and substance abuse. Currently the proceeded with my pregnancy. what the community needs, what women highlight as Indigenous community has a life expectancy nearly important and what is clearly lacking. One major issue twenty years shorter than the Australian average and Soon after my daughter was born, God taught me to that we’ve seen consistently is the lack of ‘safe spaces’ and suffer three times the diabetes rate. Alcohol addiction dream again and I approached my local hospital about so our Pregnancy Support Centres will also operate as a is a widespread problem, and amongst teenagers in supporting young women facing crisis pregnancy. This safe environment where women can retreat to when feeling outback communities so is petrol sniffing. Children began four years in which we provided peer support vulnerable. We had an 18 year old come into the Croydon were removed from parents. There have been deaths in and life skills programs for the young women there. Pregnancy Support Centre recently who said “this place is custody and secondary violence and sexual abuse as by- Throughout this time I heard too many stories of how cool, I’ll come back for sure.” This is a victory for us, products. It seems that one consequence of experiencing simply abortion was promoted, together with much creating a space she feels comfortable to use. violence and oppression is secondary violence, where experience of grief and loss. The women were from the oppressed take out frustrations and despair on those varied backgrounds and all struggled to find adequate Adoption is another part of the Crisis Pregnancy discussion, nearest to them. support during their pregnancies and then again as they which we often find ourselves addressing. Australia is a adapted to the role of parenting. country with deep wounds from past adoption practices. Our Indigenous brothers and sisters are, by almost any There are many who are hurt and against any type of social indicator, the most disadvantaged group in Australia. This highlighted a need for more structured, long-term advocacy for adoption. We believe that at a government The unemployment rate is estimated at over thirty per cent. support for women and so in 2009, The Babes Project level we need to engage in discussion about what adoption Average annual income for Indigenous people is two-thirds began; focusing on promoting adoption and parenting as can look like and be committed to lobbying for reasonable the national figure. Indigenous rates for home ownership, positive alternatives to abortion. change. Once we see adoption working well, it is our school completion and tertiary qualifications are all less hope that it can be embraced by women who might have than half that of other Australians. The Babes Project is particularly committed to refining alternatively chosen abortion. Advocating for adoption has an excellent model for pregnancy centres, providing so far been our greatest challenge. We have a pretty good handle on basic justice, living holistic care for women and their children, which can in a rule-of-law respecting democracy. We expect that subsequently be duplicated throughout Australia. The The Babes Project is an organisation that wants to begin if someone does something wrong, they need to make first steps toward this becoming a reality for The Babes the conversation about crisis pregnancy, abortion and amends. If we scratch our neighbour’s car, we pay for the Project happened earlier this year when on Valentine’s adoption. After I spoke to the senior students of a local repairs. If we deliberately injure someone, we go to jail. Day, our first Pregnancy Support Centre was opened. high school the feedback was encouraging. One student If we defraud someone of their property, we must repay communicated, “most girls here just see abortion as an it in addition to our other punishment. This all seems Based in Croydon, Victoria, the Pregnancy Support opportunity to be selfish and continue going to parties and pretty straightforward and supported by God’s teachings. Centre is an answer to much prayer. The response from having fun... they never saw it as a negative, but now we’ve Saying sorry is clearly not enough when we continue to the community, supporters and clients in the months at least started talking about it and challenging each other.” benefit from the sin of our forebears. I pray that God will since opening has been a huge encouragement to our give us all the grace to come alongside our Indigenous team. We knew there was a need, but to have girls And that’s what we love at The Babes Project; seeing the brothers and sisters in friendship and deep mutual respect come to you, trust you and say “can you please help?” is topic embraced, challenged and discussed. It is our hope as we together seek a better future for all. beyond any dream. that this will lead to one day seeing all women with access to high quality assistance to proceed with pregnancy in a One young teen recently walked in with her boyfriend, loving, compassionate and non-judgmental environment. wearing school uniforms, with school bags on their backs. She took two steps in the door, stopped, dropped Register your interest for further information and access For more information or support head to thebabesproject.com to small group material australianstogether.com her hands to her side and stated “I’m pregnant.” The Activity 1 | Collection 2. On the other hand, Darren identified active non- young adult spirituality He hasn’t isolated himself or withdrawn from violence as a completely alternative faith position community life. He has instead opened himself up where one purposefully engages in conflict resolution May 2013 Facing tough questions to his community and sought their advice, opinion through assertive yet peaceful means. The vocation and input. His posture remained open, receptive and of active non-violence is a reconciliatory way of life inquisitive, and he felt a certain freedom to be able to that is lived out in relation to personal, communal and Writer Rowan Lewis express his questions. Great start, for both Darren and global challenges. his faith community. • Having clarified his faith challenge in this After a number of failed attempts and cancelled I may in fact be making it worse. What Darren did Activity 2 | Evaluation way, we identified various experiences in appointments, we finally sat down for a coffee. The not need was another opinion - he needed a process. which he could safely engage, explore and Quarterly I ssue 06 As the advice, opinions and input piled up, he began animated face and upbeat personality was still there, authentically express these alternatives to shift his process. He began sifting through the but the eyes were sad - maybe even a little haunted. Let me explain. There comes a time - well actually, (some call these emersion or limit experiences). sticky-notes, evaluating them, thinking deeply and p.8 We didn’t have a lot of time so the conversation there will probably be many times - in your faith The two Darren settled on were applying searching in the hope that one of them has the secret, became earnest pretty quickly. Focusing upon the journey when you recognise that your faith is for and (if accepted) participating in the Army the answer, the…’thing’ that would bring a resolution. issue about which Darren wanted my opinion: holy currently a faith in the faith of others. What I mean Reserves Tuesday night training program Again, good stuff and for many challenges facing our war - does God really authorise killing? Tough by that is: it’s like the walls of your soul are covered thus exploring option 1 and connecting with faith, this is enough. Often we will find a sticky-note question, and though the conversation may have with sticky notes containing the collective thoughts Pace e Bene Australia a movement that that stands out from amongst the rest that we can started here, it became clear that this was not just a and wisdom of your faith community. If you’ve promotes the spirituality and practice of believe in, maybe even base our life upon, allowing matter of idle curiosity. As we explored the nature of been raised in the church, or even if you came to active non-violence, attending workshops, us to chuck the others out. But some, maybe even his inquiry, we soon uncovered many more personal faith in later life, most of the answers that your faith- training and maybe even a protest or two many faith challenges, are just too complex and no questions – of justice (“What about when a nation quest has sought have been provided by others. It thus exploring option 2. is being oppressed?”), of family (‘What about my has been our pastors and their sermons that have matter how hard we search, there just isn’t a sticky- Dad, he’s a sergeant in the army?’) and also of career interpreted what such-and-such verse means. It has note that trumps the rest - no “one ring to rule them • We then clarified the ‘structure’ of this and vocation (“I’m wondering if God is calling me to been our small group members that have resolved all” as it were. This was Darren’s experience. As our exploration: the time period, his network of the army”). Added to this were big questions about our theological conundrums. It has been podcasts, conversation unfolded and it became clear that the support and accountability, the permission how we read and interpret the bible, quite apart from Google and YouTube that have caused us to think driving issue to which he was seeking a resolution was this network would have with their inquiries what he thought about a God who may or may not be about things a new way. whether he had a life calling to the armed forces, it also and the possible warning signs if things implicated in the death and destruction of so many became clear that this was not going to be resolved by weren’t going well. lives. As a 20 year old emerging adult, he desperately I’m not saying for a moment that we are all a bunch placing his faith in the faith of another. He now needed wanted his faith and spirituality to inform his life of uncritical lemmings walking off the nearest cliff another activity or process to engage in and build upon • Finally, Darren had to identify how he was choices. As the child of a sergeant and brother of a because someone told us to. And I’m not saying that the good work he had done so far. going to bring all this to a resolution. cadet, with an appointment next week with the Army any of this is wrong. What I am saying is this is a Reserves, he wanted some answers, now. vital way that God works amongst us nurturing our Activity 3 | Internalisation As we discussed these matters, Darren began to see the faith through our friends, families and communities. difference between this activity of faith, and the previous What also became apparent, was that our string of It is a great way for our faith to grow…to a point. The next activity of faith is a bit tricky because you two. Before he was collecting opinions; now he was failed meeting attempts meant that I was now coming But as I listened and felt the confusion of my friend have to keep doing what you are doing to make #1 experientially responding to the challenge. Before he was after many previous conversations with friends, sitting across the table, I couldn’t help but think that and #2 happen, and then add to these a third activity. asking questions; now others will be questioning him. mentors, pastors and college lecturers who had all the last thing he needs right now is another sticky- What I mean is, it is really important to stay connected Before he was looking for someone else’s answer to resolve been asked for their ‘two-bob’s’ worth of advice. note opinion to stick on his wall. This sticky-note and open to your community, collecting their thoughts his question; now he will have to resolve it for himself. As I listened to the story of the last few weeks, collecting phase of the process must now come and input as well as remaining accountable and honest What began as an innocent catch-up, asking my opinion the conversations that had transpired, the different to an end. He no longer needs to consult external (Activity 1). You also need your critical faculties about holy war has now completely changed. Darren has opinions expressed, and the utter confusion that now authorities in the hope that they might resolve his switched on, evaluating, critiquing and searching for mapped out an 18-month experiential exploration of his resided in his heart, the haunted, sad eyes that stared confusion. He now needs to go through a process an answer (Activity 2). But to these we now need to vocation and calling. And because he is a student here at across the table towards me began to make sense. I whereby he takes ownership of these inherited sticky add activities that bring the alternatives facing us into Tabor College, he is considering resolving this quest with wasn’t just being asked to offer another opinion into notes - evaluating, experiencing and synthesising the our experiences such that we do not just hold onto a semester long guided study, out of which he intends to the mix - at this point in his journey, he just wanted reality they speak of, so that he transforms them, not them as ideas, but actually express them and live them produce his conclusion on the matter. me to solve his bewildering confusion and make it into re-written notes, but into the stuff that forms the out through our bodies. This is the plan that we settled go away. very nature of his soul - the actual contents of his on for Darren: Two things remain to be highlighted. First of all, I own faith. don’t know if Darren will see this challenge through Now in years passed, I may have had the arrogance As we worked through the collection of sticky- the 18 months that he has mapped out. It may only to back myself and give it shot. I would pontificate Some of the gurus out there call this process notes, Darren was able to identify two apparently last six months, or even three - but the timing is not some half-baked wisdom with an air of just enough internalisation (John Westerhoff) or individuation contradictory faith perspectives and therefore really the point. What is at stake is an emerging authority to resolve the issue one way or the other, (James Fowler), and they identify it as a process not vocational options: adult facing a tough faith challenge that does not and send the pilgrim on their way. But the years commonly facilitated by the church, yet absolutely need another opinion; he needs a process that places 1. (and a number of humbling experiences) have taught vital for faith development. But what does it look Darren could imagine being involved in the armed the initiative and resolution of this matter in an me something: that even if I did have the wisdom like? And how do we go about it? Well let’s go back forces but only for the purposes of liberating the internalised faith perspective. of Solomon and could come up with ‘right’ answer to Darren’s faith challenge. When it comes to tough oppressed and establishing justice (as these were the every time, in that moment as I talked to my sad-eyed questions, or for that matter, tough times that call our only two purposes from amongst all the opinions he Secondly, but with no less importance, is that while and confused friend I would not be solving a thing. faith into question, Darren has been doing a great job. had sought that, in Darren’s opinion, could make a Darren must be invited into a process that helps him to Let’s look at the steps or activities he has taken so far: war ‘holy’); figure this out for himself, it is not something he can do Activity 1 | Collection 2. On the other hand, Darren identified active non- young adult spirituality He hasn’t isolated himself or withdrawn from violence as a completely alternative faith position community life. He has instead opened himself up where one purposefully engages in conflict resolution May 2013 Facing tough questions to his community and sought their advice, opinion through assertive yet peaceful means. The vocation and input. His posture remained open, receptive and of active non-violence is a reconciliatory way of life inquisitive, and he felt a certain freedom to be able to that is lived out in relation to personal, communal and Writer Rowan Lewis express his questions. Great start, for both Darren and global challenges. his faith community. • Having clarified his faith challenge in this After a number of failed attempts and cancelled I may in fact be making it worse. What Darren did Activity 2 | Evaluation way, we identified various experiences in appointments, we finally sat down for a coffee. The not need was another opinion - he needed a process. which he could safely engage, explore and Quarterly I ssue 06 As the advice, opinions and input piled up, he began animated face and upbeat personality was still there, authentically express these alternatives to shift his process. He began sifting through the but the eyes were sad - maybe even a little haunted. Let me explain. There comes a time - well actually, (some call these emersion or limit experiences). sticky-notes, evaluating them, thinking deeply and p.8 We didn’t have a lot of time so the conversation there will probably be many times - in your faith The two Darren settled on were applying searching in the hope that one of them has the secret, became earnest pretty quickly. Focusing upon the journey when you recognise that your faith is for and (if accepted) participating in the Army the answer, the…’thing’ that would bring a resolution. issue about which Darren wanted my opinion: holy currently a faith in the faith of others. What I mean Reserves Tuesday night training program Again, good stuff and for many challenges facing our war - does God really authorise killing? Tough by that is: it’s like the walls of your soul are covered thus exploring option 1 and connecting with faith, this is enough. Often we will find a sticky-note question, and though the conversation may have with sticky notes containing the collective thoughts Pace e Bene Australia a movement that that stands out from amongst the rest that we can started here, it became clear that this was not just a and wisdom of your faith community. If you’ve promotes the spirituality and practice of believe in, maybe even base our life upon, allowing matter of idle curiosity. As we explored the nature of been raised in the church, or even if you came to active non-violence, attending workshops, us to chuck the others out. But some, maybe even his inquiry, we soon uncovered many more personal faith in later life, most of the answers that your faith- training and maybe even a protest or two many faith challenges, are just too complex and no questions – of justice (“What about when a nation quest has sought have been provided by others. It thus exploring option 2. is being oppressed?”), of family (‘What about my has been our pastors and their sermons that have matter how hard we search, there just isn’t a sticky- Dad, he’s a sergeant in the army?’) and also of career interpreted what such-and-such verse means. It has note that trumps the rest - no “one ring to rule them • We then clarified the ‘structure’ of this and vocation (“I’m wondering if God is calling me to been our small group members that have resolved all” as it were. This was Darren’s experience. As our exploration: the time period, his network of the army”). Added to this were big questions about our theological conundrums. It has been podcasts, conversation unfolded and it became clear that the support and accountability, the permission how we read and interpret the bible, quite apart from Google and YouTube that have caused us to think driving issue to which he was seeking a resolution was this network would have with their inquiries what he thought about a God who may or may not be about things a new way. whether he had a life calling to the armed forces, it also and the possible warning signs if things implicated in the death and destruction of so many became clear that this was not going to be resolved by weren’t going well. lives. As a 20 year old emerging adult, he desperately I’m not saying for a moment that we are all a bunch placing his faith in the faith of another. He now needed wanted his faith and spirituality to inform his life of uncritical lemmings walking off the nearest cliff another activity or process to engage in and build upon • Finally, Darren had to identify how he was choices. As the child of a sergeant and brother of a because someone told us to. And I’m not saying that the good work he had done so far. going to bring all this to a resolution. cadet, with an appointment next week with the Army any of this is wrong. What I am saying is this is a Reserves, he wanted some answers, now. vital way that God works amongst us nurturing our Activity 3 | Internalisation As we discussed these matters, Darren began to see the faith through our friends, families and communities. difference between this activity of faith, and the previous What also became apparent, was that our string of It is a great way for our faith to grow…to a point. The next activity of faith is a bit tricky because you two. Before he was collecting opinions; now he was failed meeting attempts meant that I was now coming But as I listened and felt the confusion of my friend have to keep doing what you are doing to make #1 experientially responding to the challenge. Before he was after many previous conversations with friends, sitting across the table, I couldn’t help but think that and #2 happen, and then add to these a third activity. asking questions; now others will be questioning him. mentors, pastors and college lecturers who had all the last thing he needs right now is another sticky- What I mean is, it is really important to stay connected Before he was looking for someone else’s answer to resolve been asked for their ‘two-bob’s’ worth of advice. note opinion to stick on his wall. This sticky-note and open to your community, collecting their thoughts his question; now he will have to resolve it for himself. As I listened to the story of the last few weeks, collecting phase of the process must now come and input as well as remaining accountable and honest What began as an innocent catch-up, asking my opinion the conversations that had transpired, the different to an end. He no longer needs to consult external (Activity 1). You also need your critical faculties about holy war has now completely changed. Darren has opinions expressed, and the utter confusion that now authorities in the hope that they might resolve his switched on, evaluating, critiquing and searching for mapped out an 18-month experiential exploration of his resided in his heart, the haunted, sad eyes that stared confusion. He now needs to go through a process an answer (Activity 2). But to these we now need to vocation and calling. And because he is a student here at across the table towards me began to make sense. I whereby he takes ownership of these inherited sticky add activities that bring the alternatives facing us into Tabor College, he is considering resolving this quest with wasn’t just being asked to offer another opinion into notes - evaluating, experiencing and synthesising the our experiences such that we do not just hold onto a semester long guided study, out of which he intends to the mix - at this point in his journey, he just wanted reality they speak of, so that he transforms them, not them as ideas, but actually express them and live them produce his conclusion on the matter. me to solve his bewildering confusion and make it into re-written notes, but into the stuff that forms the out through our bodies. This is the plan that we settled go away. very nature of his soul - the actual contents of his on for Darren: Two things remain to be highlighted. First of all, I own faith. don’t know if Darren will see this challenge through Now in years passed, I may have had the arrogance As we worked through the collection of sticky- the 18 months that he has mapped out. It may only to back myself and give it shot. I would pontificate Some of the gurus out there call this process notes, Darren was able to identify two apparently last six months, or even three - but the timing is not some half-baked wisdom with an air of just enough internalisation (John Westerhoff) or individuation contradictory faith perspectives and therefore really the point. What is at stake is an emerging authority to resolve the issue one way or the other, (James Fowler), and they identify it as a process not vocational options: adult facing a tough faith challenge that does not and send the pilgrim on their way. But the years commonly facilitated by the church, yet absolutely need another opinion; he needs a process that places 1. (and a number of humbling experiences) have taught vital for faith development. But what does it look Darren could imagine being involved in the armed the initiative and resolution of this matter in an me something: that even if I did have the wisdom like? And how do we go about it? Well let’s go back forces but only for the purposes of liberating the internalised faith perspective. of Solomon and could come up with ‘right’ answer to Darren’s faith challenge. When it comes to tough oppressed and establishing justice (as these were the every time, in that moment as I talked to my sad-eyed questions, or for that matter, tough times that call our only two purposes from amongst all the opinions he Secondly, but with no less importance, is that while and confused friend I would not be solving a thing. faith into question, Darren has been doing a great job. had sought that, in Darren’s opinion, could make a Darren must be invited into a process that helps him to Let’s look at the steps or activities he has taken so far: war ‘holy’); figure this out for himself, it is not something he can do There comes a time - well in isolation. After much research on this matter, I have become convinced actually, there will that one of the great contributors to probably be many times the exodus of emerging adults from our churches and ministries, is that - in your faith journey the faith challenges they face cause when you recognise that them to unconsciously engage in the internalisation process that your faith is currently Darren is now consciously and a faith in the faith of constructively heading into. That is to say, having collected and others. What I mean evaluated the alternatives, they by that is: it’s like the find nothing that actually resolves the faith challenge. Feeling like walls of your soul are they have exhausted the resources covered with sticky of their own faith or that of their faith community, they head off in notes containing the search of answers, usually with no collective thoughts one to accompany them because they have already been labelled and wisdom of your a ‘prodigal son/daughter’, ‘lost faith community. sheep’, or ‘backslider’ (and usually been asked to step-down from youth leadership).
Feeling like they have Our teenagers and emerging adults exhausted the resources desperately need faith communities who can handle tough questions and of their own faith or the exploration of (what may be to that of their faith them) irreverent answers. Amongst the necessity of wise responses community, they head off and reflective opinions, our young in search of answers, people also need folks willing to journey with young people into their usually with no one to questions and challenges. They accompany them because need mentors and peers who are willing to put their opinions aside they have already been in order to engage young people in labelled a ‘prodigal son/ a process that draws out their own authentic response - so that we no daughter’, ‘lost sheep’, longer play the role of ‘teacher or ‘backslider’ (and with answers’ but ‘student with questions’, asking our young people usually been asked for their own wise responses that to step-down from they have searched out and can now authentically express in response to youth leadership). the tough challenges of faith. There comes a time - well in isolation. After much research on this matter, I have become convinced actually, there will that one of the great contributors to probably be many times the exodus of emerging adults from our churches and ministries, is that - in your faith journey the faith challenges they face cause when you recognise that them to unconsciously engage in the internalisation process that your faith is currently Darren is now consciously and a faith in the faith of constructively heading into. That is to say, having collected and others. What I mean evaluated the alternatives, they by that is: it’s like the find nothing that actually resolves the faith challenge. Feeling like walls of your soul are they have exhausted the resources covered with sticky of their own faith or that of their faith community, they head off in notes containing the search of answers, usually with no collective thoughts one to accompany them because they have already been labelled and wisdom of your a ‘prodigal son/daughter’, ‘lost faith community. sheep’, or ‘backslider’ (and usually been asked to step-down from youth leadership).
Feeling like they have Our teenagers and emerging adults exhausted the resources desperately need faith communities who can handle tough questions and of their own faith or the exploration of (what may be to that of their faith them) irreverent answers. Amongst the necessity of wise responses community, they head off and reflective opinions, our young in search of answers, people also need folks willing to journey with young people into their usually with no one to questions and challenges. They accompany them because need mentors and peers who are willing to put their opinions aside they have already been in order to engage young people in labelled a ‘prodigal son/ a process that draws out their own authentic response - so that we no daughter’, ‘lost sheep’, longer play the role of ‘teacher or ‘backslider’ (and with answers’ but ‘student with questions’, asking our young people usually been asked for their own wise responses that to step-down from they have searched out and can now authentically express in response to youth leadership). the tough challenges of faith. then we show ourselves to be the we would celebrate that victory. Yet those of us here opposite of the tyrants from whom who are passionate about others, who care about the welcome to australia the world’s refugees have fled. unfortunate victims of our heartlessness, must do more than change legislation. We must together work towards May 2013 Writer Brad Chilcott I have used the word ‘we’ undermining the culture that permits such legislation – throughout this article because this and the language of conflict which sustains it – to exist. is not about ‘those people’ who run mandatory detention and strip We must fight fear with welcome. people of the humanity we believe For 20 years we have taken the of other human beings in order to superior human beings when we is our right. It’s about 20 years of We must fight hatred with love.
world’s most vulnerable people cement their own power? stole babies from their mothers and us as a nation allowing this to go Quarterly I ssue 06 and - ignoring their basic human dithered over the financial cost – and on in our name, funded with our We must fight division with unity. rights, ignoring our own treaties, It is this – they have determined that the cost to our ego – of an apology. taxes. It’s not just about overturning We must be wholeheartedly committed to not just ending international conventions and they are more human than someone We’ve considered ourselves more mandatory detention because it goes p.12 mandatory detention but to building a nation that can no human sensibilities - have locked else, and, therefore, because of human than others when we’ve deeper than that. longer stand for its existence. We must be committed not them behind bars. We have received their superior humanity, this kind resented the opportunities given just to freeing refugees from physical detention, but to the victims of torture, oppression, of behaviour is justified. A tyrant to the generations of migrants that We need to ask ourselves a deeper cultivating a culture of welcome where refugees know war and genocide, heard their rules by virtue of the fact that they followed our own migration here. question about a people, a culture, they can truly belong. pleas for safety, refuge and peace consider themselves more human that allows such a practice to not and responded with the callous - and therefore more deserving of And now we have considered only exist but to actually assist our We must do more than come up with a better processing realisation that these disempowered power and self-determination - than ourselves more human than leaders at the polls. system, we must continually call out the best in the people will be useful for our someone else. others when we have used the Australian character – our compassion, inclusion, political maneuverings. We have world’s most vulnerable people as We have not merely let an ugly generosity and fairness – until we’ve reached the point added anguish of our own to the It is only when we see ourselves as expendable pawns in our political policy slip through the legislative where depriving a fellow human being of their rights is anguish already experienced, added more human than someone else that games. We have taken on the procedure, we have together no longer a viable political option. insecurity and uncertainty to those we permit injustice and violence to mindset of the tyrant by believing contributed to the creation of a
We have this option before us – we can show It is only when we consider ourselves to be more ourselves to be the opposite of the tyrants these deserving of freedom, hope and opportunity than people have fled from, or we can become a little another human being that we allow other people to more like them each day. be robbed of those same rights.
It is time to make prejudice unpopular. who’ve never known peace. We be done in our name. It is only when that we are more deserving of culture where the systematic abuse of suffering people can happen for have added violence to violence, we consider ourselves to be more freedom, hope, prosperity and It is time to make cruelty hurt two decades is not only tolerated, pain to pain and devised new forms deserving of freedom, hope and opportunity than those who have at the polling booths. of mental torture for those who have opportunity than another human been robbed of these things but celebrated. We have allowed suffered fear and trauma that we being that we allow other people to once, and have come here to find the maintenance of a society in It is time to do more than end cannot imagine. be robbed of those same rights. It is themselves twice deprived. which the party that backs away mandatory detention. only when we are the glorified ‘us’ from such mistreatment is said to We have this option before us – and they are the vilified ‘them’ – So we are faced with a choice. The be too ‘soft’ on people who have It’s time to end the culture of fear, division we can show ourselves to be the when we have taken on the mindset choice to emulate those tyrants and arrived suffering, impoverished and discrimination that makes it possible and, opposite of the tyrants these people of the oppressor who not only has oppressors to whom we claim our and traumatised. indeed, rewards those who support it. have fled from, or we can become a the position of privilege but believes democracy is superior, or the choice little more like them each day. that position is deserved by right – to set ourselves apart. There is a policy issue here of It is not only up to ‘them’ who are able to change legislation, that such actions are tolerated. course. But the heart of a nation is it is up to us who elect our representatives to influence the What enables a tyrant to command When we show compassion. not altered in an act of legislation. nation’s heart. We need more than new policies, we need a or condone the violent, oppressive Australia has done this before. When we give people the dignity In fact, legislation follows the heart new conscience, the collective conscience of a population acts against other human beings that they deserve simply because of a nation. The asylum seekers that who simply say ‘they are people just like us’. maintains their power? What goes We have considered ourselves more they are human like us. When we are damaged by our cruel migration on in the psyche of a person who human than others when we waged acknowledge in our words and laws are suffering the results of the And, together, I believe that we can shape this future, a knowingly undermines the dignity fear campaigns against Native practices that the border you are deadening of the Australian heart, future where policies are not only changed, but where of another human being? Who Title. We’ve considered ourselves born behind should not determine the corruption of the Australian such abuses aren’t possible simply because the people of sees the traumatic consequences more human than others when we the level of your opportunity to character and the searing of the this nation no longer allow them. It’s time for a change of of their decisions and policies and suspended the racial discrimination thrive. When we are welcoming Australian conscience. policy, it’s time for a change of character and it’s time for a yet continues in them? What is act. We’ve considered ourselves and generous. And when our change of heart. May it begin with us today. happening in the mind of a person more human than others when power and popularity is not derived If mandatory detention ended who can manipulate the misery we tolerated a White Australia from our ability to manipulate our today thousands of lives would For more stories or to get involved head to policy. We’ve considered ourselves population’s ability to fear and hate be spared further suffering and welcometoaustralia.org.au then we show ourselves to be the we would celebrate that victory. Yet those of us here opposite of the tyrants from whom who are passionate about others, who care about the welcome to australia the world’s refugees have fled. unfortunate victims of our heartlessness, must do more than change legislation. We must together work towards May 2013 Writer Brad Chilcott I have used the word ‘we’ undermining the culture that permits such legislation – throughout this article because this and the language of conflict which sustains it – to exist. is not about ‘those people’ who run mandatory detention and strip We must fight fear with welcome. people of the humanity we believe For 20 years we have taken the of other human beings in order to superior human beings when we is our right. It’s about 20 years of We must fight hatred with love.
world’s most vulnerable people cement their own power? stole babies from their mothers and us as a nation allowing this to go Quarterly I ssue 06 and - ignoring their basic human dithered over the financial cost – and on in our name, funded with our We must fight division with unity. rights, ignoring our own treaties, It is this – they have determined that the cost to our ego – of an apology. taxes. It’s not just about overturning We must be wholeheartedly committed to not just ending international conventions and they are more human than someone We’ve considered ourselves more mandatory detention because it goes p.12 mandatory detention but to building a nation that can no human sensibilities - have locked else, and, therefore, because of human than others when we’ve deeper than that. longer stand for its existence. We must be committed not them behind bars. We have received their superior humanity, this kind resented the opportunities given just to freeing refugees from physical detention, but to the victims of torture, oppression, of behaviour is justified. A tyrant to the generations of migrants that We need to ask ourselves a deeper cultivating a culture of welcome where refugees know war and genocide, heard their rules by virtue of the fact that they followed our own migration here. question about a people, a culture, they can truly belong. pleas for safety, refuge and peace consider themselves more human that allows such a practice to not and responded with the callous - and therefore more deserving of And now we have considered only exist but to actually assist our We must do more than come up with a better processing realisation that these disempowered power and self-determination - than ourselves more human than leaders at the polls. system, we must continually call out the best in the people will be useful for our someone else. others when we have used the Australian character – our compassion, inclusion, political maneuverings. We have world’s most vulnerable people as We have not merely let an ugly generosity and fairness – until we’ve reached the point added anguish of our own to the It is only when we see ourselves as expendable pawns in our political policy slip through the legislative where depriving a fellow human being of their rights is anguish already experienced, added more human than someone else that games. We have taken on the procedure, we have together no longer a viable political option. insecurity and uncertainty to those we permit injustice and violence to mindset of the tyrant by believing contributed to the creation of a
We have this option before us – we can show It is only when we consider ourselves to be more ourselves to be the opposite of the tyrants these deserving of freedom, hope and opportunity than people have fled from, or we can become a little another human being that we allow other people to more like them each day. be robbed of those same rights.
It is time to make prejudice unpopular. who’ve never known peace. We be done in our name. It is only when that we are more deserving of culture where the systematic abuse of suffering people can happen for have added violence to violence, we consider ourselves to be more freedom, hope, prosperity and It is time to make cruelty hurt two decades is not only tolerated, pain to pain and devised new forms deserving of freedom, hope and opportunity than those who have at the polling booths. of mental torture for those who have opportunity than another human been robbed of these things but celebrated. We have allowed suffered fear and trauma that we being that we allow other people to once, and have come here to find the maintenance of a society in It is time to do more than end cannot imagine. be robbed of those same rights. It is themselves twice deprived. which the party that backs away mandatory detention. only when we are the glorified ‘us’ from such mistreatment is said to We have this option before us – and they are the vilified ‘them’ – So we are faced with a choice. The be too ‘soft’ on people who have It’s time to end the culture of fear, division we can show ourselves to be the when we have taken on the mindset choice to emulate those tyrants and arrived suffering, impoverished and discrimination that makes it possible and, opposite of the tyrants these people of the oppressor who not only has oppressors to whom we claim our and traumatised. indeed, rewards those who support it. have fled from, or we can become a the position of privilege but believes democracy is superior, or the choice little more like them each day. that position is deserved by right – to set ourselves apart. There is a policy issue here of It is not only up to ‘them’ who are able to change legislation, that such actions are tolerated. course. But the heart of a nation is it is up to us who elect our representatives to influence the What enables a tyrant to command When we show compassion. not altered in an act of legislation. nation’s heart. We need more than new policies, we need a or condone the violent, oppressive Australia has done this before. When we give people the dignity In fact, legislation follows the heart new conscience, the collective conscience of a population acts against other human beings that they deserve simply because of a nation. The asylum seekers that who simply say ‘they are people just like us’. maintains their power? What goes We have considered ourselves more they are human like us. When we are damaged by our cruel migration on in the psyche of a person who human than others when we waged acknowledge in our words and laws are suffering the results of the And, together, I believe that we can shape this future, a knowingly undermines the dignity fear campaigns against Native practices that the border you are deadening of the Australian heart, future where policies are not only changed, but where of another human being? Who Title. We’ve considered ourselves born behind should not determine the corruption of the Australian such abuses aren’t possible simply because the people of sees the traumatic consequences more human than others when we the level of your opportunity to character and the searing of the this nation no longer allow them. It’s time for a change of of their decisions and policies and suspended the racial discrimination thrive. When we are welcoming Australian conscience. policy, it’s time for a change of character and it’s time for a yet continues in them? What is act. We’ve considered ourselves and generous. And when our change of heart. May it begin with us today. happening in the mind of a person more human than others when power and popularity is not derived If mandatory detention ended who can manipulate the misery we tolerated a White Australia from our ability to manipulate our today thousands of lives would For more stories or to get involved head to policy. We’ve considered ourselves population’s ability to fear and hate be spared further suffering and welcometoaustralia.org.au May 2013 More likely than not, the youth group you volunteer with today looks a whole lot different from the youth group of 10, 20, or 30 years ago. Girls show up wearing tiny miniskirts and clearly visible lacy bras. Guys joke about boners and blowjobs with no hint of embarrassment. Many teenagers are hooking up with
their friends, their friends’ friends, and even their friends’ Quarterly I ssue 06 friends’ friends sometimes even at youth group events. p.14 Our teenagers live in a culture where dildos, swinging, result, the powerful, misleading messages portrayed in the S&M, and sexting are the norm. Throughout popular media media and through Internet pornography are taking the lead - whether TV shows, video games or movies - sex has been in educating our students about sex. reduced to skin on skin. For many teenagers, sex has become a purely physical act, fully divorced from spirituality, love, Pornography | The New Sex Ed and commitment. Sex, pornography, and ‘hooking up’ are While there are many helpful and age-appropriate sex all met with the same response: “It’s no big deal.” education sites online, the average student we work with is likely to have had multiple experiences with hardcore Most teenagers today don’t know where to turn to learn pornography by the time they reach their teenage years. about sex, and many feel confused, fearful, and alone as a The average age at which children will first encounter result. Those who are struggling with sexual addiction or pornography is 11. Many clinicians suggest however, unhealthy patterns don’t know how to find freedom and that due to pornography’s ubiquity online, first-time healing from the choices they’ve made, and they are afraid exposure is likely to occur at much younger ages in the church will label them as perverts if they come clean the future. Through the Internet, anyone, including the with their true struggles. teenagers we work with, has free, easy, and anonymous access to every kind of sexual content. Youth group leaders often ask: “Where are the parents in all of this!?” Unfortunately, many parents fail to set a Christ- As one 15-year-old explained to me, “You don’t have to like example. Other parents are simply too terrified or wait for a Sex-Ed class in school or have a talk with your overwhelmed to talk about sex with their teenagers. They parents anymore to learn about sex. You can just go online think their teenagers are strong enough or good enough to to find everything you need. The Internet and pornography stay ‘pure’, and if they aren’t, they don’t want to know about are where most of my friends have learned what to do.” A it. Some parents write off their child’s behavior as ‘kids 14-year-old girl shared, “When the guys in my class see being kids’. In fact, one 15-year-old girl told me that her something in pornography, they want us to do it. Most of non-Christian parents practically mocked her when she told my friends first saw pornography on their dad’s computer, them of her decision to save sex until marriage. or accidentally when they were younger, or with their boyfriends. At first it freaks us out, but then we get used The good news is that this means you - the youth worker - to it. It’s just what kids do today. It’s no big deal.” Another are on the front lines in the battle to shape, challenge, and 16-year-old girl confessed, “It can be hard to keep up. I feel encourage students toward sexual wholeness and purity. like I have to look that way and act that way for guys to think I’m hot. We have to watch that stuff to know what to do.” we need to talk Talking about these topics isn’t easy. In an ideal world, our students would learn about sex in age-appropriate, Pornography | Clean, Wholesome Fun? incremental stages based on what their parents, I recently came across Cosmopolitan’s 2010 Sex educators, and physicians know about healthy child about pornography Survey, which reported that 36 percent of women use development. Parents would help their kids develop pornography as a ‘sex enhancer.’ In another Cosmo a healthy perspective on relationships, sex, intimacy, article, the magazine implores its readers to explore Writer Craig Gross love, and marriage, and they would be able to protect the many ‘benefits’ of pornography. One paragraph them from harmful, explicit, and violent content. said: “While one must be aware of the dangers of porn Most parents are unfortunately clueless, overwhelmed, or addiction, [pornography] can be used as a healthy tool to intimidated when it comes to talking with their kids about stimulate one’s sex life. Caution: much of the material out sexuality, much less pornography. And so they turn away there isn’t for the fainthearted. But then, Cosmo chicas as their kids idolise nearly naked pop-princesses, watch don’t really need that warning, do they?” ‘family channel’ shows filled with insinuated and simulated While statistics vary wildly regarding the actual percentage premarital sex, and have unrestricted access to pornography of men, women, and children viewing pornography, through gaming devices, mobile phones, and laptops. As a May 2013 More likely than not, the youth group you volunteer with today looks a whole lot different from the youth group of 10, 20, or 30 years ago. Girls show up wearing tiny miniskirts and clearly visible lacy bras. Guys joke about boners and blowjobs with no hint of embarrassment. Many teenagers are hooking up with
their friends, their friends’ friends, and even their friends’ Quarterly I ssue 06 friends’ friends sometimes even at youth group events. p.14 Our teenagers live in a culture where dildos, swinging, result, the powerful, misleading messages portrayed in the S&M, and sexting are the norm. Throughout popular media media and through Internet pornography are taking the lead - whether TV shows, video games or movies - sex has been in educating our students about sex. reduced to skin on skin. For many teenagers, sex has become a purely physical act, fully divorced from spirituality, love, Pornography | The New Sex Ed and commitment. Sex, pornography, and ‘hooking up’ are While there are many helpful and age-appropriate sex all met with the same response: “It’s no big deal.” education sites online, the average student we work with is likely to have had multiple experiences with hardcore Most teenagers today don’t know where to turn to learn pornography by the time they reach their teenage years. about sex, and many feel confused, fearful, and alone as a The average age at which children will first encounter result. Those who are struggling with sexual addiction or pornography is 11. Many clinicians suggest however, unhealthy patterns don’t know how to find freedom and that due to pornography’s ubiquity online, first-time healing from the choices they’ve made, and they are afraid exposure is likely to occur at much younger ages in the church will label them as perverts if they come clean the future. Through the Internet, anyone, including the with their true struggles. teenagers we work with, has free, easy, and anonymous access to every kind of sexual content. Youth group leaders often ask: “Where are the parents in all of this!?” Unfortunately, many parents fail to set a Christ- As one 15-year-old explained to me, “You don’t have to like example. Other parents are simply too terrified or wait for a Sex-Ed class in school or have a talk with your overwhelmed to talk about sex with their teenagers. They parents anymore to learn about sex. You can just go online think their teenagers are strong enough or good enough to to find everything you need. The Internet and pornography stay ‘pure’, and if they aren’t, they don’t want to know about are where most of my friends have learned what to do.” A it. Some parents write off their child’s behavior as ‘kids 14-year-old girl shared, “When the guys in my class see being kids’. In fact, one 15-year-old girl told me that her something in pornography, they want us to do it. Most of non-Christian parents practically mocked her when she told my friends first saw pornography on their dad’s computer, them of her decision to save sex until marriage. or accidentally when they were younger, or with their boyfriends. At first it freaks us out, but then we get used The good news is that this means you - the youth worker - to it. It’s just what kids do today. It’s no big deal.” Another are on the front lines in the battle to shape, challenge, and 16-year-old girl confessed, “It can be hard to keep up. I feel encourage students toward sexual wholeness and purity. like I have to look that way and act that way for guys to think I’m hot. We have to watch that stuff to know what to do.” we need to talk Talking about these topics isn’t easy. In an ideal world, our students would learn about sex in age-appropriate, Pornography | Clean, Wholesome Fun? incremental stages based on what their parents, I recently came across Cosmopolitan’s 2010 Sex educators, and physicians know about healthy child about pornography Survey, which reported that 36 percent of women use development. Parents would help their kids develop pornography as a ‘sex enhancer.’ In another Cosmo a healthy perspective on relationships, sex, intimacy, article, the magazine implores its readers to explore Writer Craig Gross love, and marriage, and they would be able to protect the many ‘benefits’ of pornography. One paragraph them from harmful, explicit, and violent content. said: “While one must be aware of the dangers of porn Most parents are unfortunately clueless, overwhelmed, or addiction, [pornography] can be used as a healthy tool to intimidated when it comes to talking with their kids about stimulate one’s sex life. Caution: much of the material out sexuality, much less pornography. And so they turn away there isn’t for the fainthearted. But then, Cosmo chicas as their kids idolise nearly naked pop-princesses, watch don’t really need that warning, do they?” ‘family channel’ shows filled with insinuated and simulated While statistics vary wildly regarding the actual percentage premarital sex, and have unrestricted access to pornography of men, women, and children viewing pornography, through gaming devices, mobile phones, and laptops. As a “Modern trends in pornography consumption and production, sexualised media, sex crime, online sexual predators, Internet dating services, and sexualised cyber-bullying, have created a May 2013 world more sexually dis-orienting, daunting, and aggressive than ever before.” the theme is consistent: pornography use has become Is Pornography Just Harmless Fun? Speak God’s truth normalised in our culture. Porn stars are now mainstream Contrary to what the culture says, pornography is Also, remind them what God has to say. Although the Bible doesn’t directly talk about “Internet pornography,” the Greek icons, little girls wear the Playboy bunny with pride on their Quarterly I ssue 06 not just ‘harmless fun.’ The pornography ‘fantasy’ term pornea is found throughout the New Testament, and it’s the root of our English word pornography. And when pornea T-shirts and our music industry continues to push the limits is spilling over into almost every corner of our is used, it’s talking about sexual sin or sex outside of the marital context God prescribes. Likewise, pornography represents a of ‘sexual expression’ to the point that today’s music videos culture—pushing powerful messages about human form of sexual escape and sexual experience outside the marital context for which God created sex. resemble the ‘soft-core’ pornography of yesterday. As author sexuality, sexual relationships, women’s bodies, p.16 Gail Dines describes in her book ‘Pornland’, shows like sexual expectations and sexual norms. As one The Ten Commandments might not say, ‘Thou shalt not look at pornography,’ they do tell us we should not commit Girls Gone Wild have positioned themselves “not as a porn report explained, “Modern trends in pornography adultery, and Jesus got to the real meaning of this commandment when He said, ‘I say, anyone who even looks at a product, but rather as hot, sexy fun that pushes the envelope consumption and production, sexualised media, sex woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart’ Matthew 5:28. When our students look at of mainstream pop culture.” crime, online sexual predators, Internet dating services, pornography, they are lusting after a man or a woman (or sometimes a group of them together—or even cartoons), and and sexualised cyber-bullying, have created a world they’re committing adultery in their heart and mind. God’s word tells us that our bodies, our minds and our hearts were Pornography | New Hard-Core Norm more sexually disorienting, daunting, and aggressive not meant for sexual immorality, but for purity, and that we should avoid every hint of sexual immorality—anything Some of you may not get why this is a big deal (although than ever before.” In this world, our children are that causes our mind, our heart, and our body to sin and lust, which pornography certainly does. I hope you do!). Perhaps you stumbled across a Playboy exposed to pornographic and sexual content at earlier magazine as a youngster and you don’t feel damaged as and earlier ages, in developmentally damaging ways. Help them establish safeguards a result. Perhaps you’ve only been exposed to soft-core As leaders, help your students to distinguish God’s truth from the lies of the culture. Remind them that you are here to pornography, or maybe you are part of the minority of adults Action Steps help. If they are struggling with pornography, talk to them about accountability and putting into place practices that can who have never encountered pornography. If so, it’s critical Talk about it help them avoid situations that get them into trouble. One student stopped taking his mobile device and computer into to understand that pornography has dramatically changed Pornography is undoubtedly an incredibly awkward his room at night, because he knew the temptation would be too strong. Another student was brave enough to talk with with the advent of the Internet. and difficult subject to talk about with your students, his parents and get them to purchase a filter and accountability software to help him make better choices online. Two but it’s a huge issue that impacts nearly every teenager teenage girls that were both struggling with using cybersex rooms agreed to meet every week before school to debrief Unfortunately, once users scrape beyond the soft-core with which you work. The enemy is using pornography and encourage each other to make Christ-like choices online and to abstain from visiting sites that tempted them to sin. surface of the pornography industry, they will dive into to break up marriages, create false expectations, drive the ‘anything goes’ world of hardcore pornography, filled people away from authentic love and intimacy, and, of Pray and lead with sensitivity with fetish, violence, bestiality, genital torture, group course, create distance between God and God’s people. Given the gravity of the topic, pray and stay in God’s word to discern when it’s right to start talking to your students ‘gangbangs,’ and ‘barely legal’ content. The explosion The next generation’s sexual and relational stability are about this issue. When I decided to start addressing this issue with my students, I gave them a heads-up that we of users and pornography sites has challenged the profit- at stake, and no one is immune to being impacted by the were going to talk about sex, purity, and pornography during our next meeting. I shared with them about my own making model of most mainstream pornographers. With onslaught of the culture’s sexual messages. early exposure to pornography (without going into the nature of the content), how it made me feel at the time and so much exposure, viewers need a new high. To combat how it impacted my understanding of sexuality later in life. I asked many questions regarding whether they had seen this desensitisation and to competitively differentiate their More likely than not, if you’ve established trust with pornography and whether they believed people in their class were looking at pornography. I asked them how it made product, pornography producers have created a vast array your students, once you start talking with them about them feel when their peers looked at pornography, and I told them about the harms related to viewing pornography. of niche, hardcore, violent, and fetish pornography. Many this subject, you won’t be able to get them to stop pornography stars have explained that the actions commonly sharing personal stories. Teenagers today are very Confront sin depicted in today’s pornography were almost non-existent confused and they are thirsty for clear answers and help. before the advent of the Internet. What was once considered Some teenagers will probably tell you that they look at pornography so they won’t have sex with their girlfriends or ‘hardcore’ pornography is now considered mainstream. boyfriends. Help them to realise that sin is still sin. Rather than establishing their own standards for purity and focusing on Stay calm what feeds their sexual desires, they need to focus on the behaviours that will help them draw closer to God. A quick look at some of the categories offered by one of Remember to stay calm, use humour, and approach this the top pornography sites today showed categories including subject with humility. Listen to what your students say, Talk to them about the unhealthy precedent they are setting for the rest of their lives, and help them to better bondage, cumshots, fisting, teen, orgy, shemale, hardcore, and don’t condemn or shame them in any way. Don’t understand the many harms of pornography use. Our students’ habituation to pornography predisposes them to and triple penetration. In one analysis of 50 best-selling forget that, for most teenagers, this is the new norm; engage in sexually risky behavior. One study among adolescents found a strong association between pornography adult titles, half of the 304 scenes surveyed showed extreme fetishes like hentai, cartoon, bisexual, violent, and consumption and engaging in oral and anal sex verbal aggression and over 88 percent included extreme MILF content are available through almost all major physical aggression. I took a quick look at this year’s Adult online pornography sites, so it’s likely that your youth If your students are looking at pornography, some of them may not understand why this is a big deal. It’s possible that Video Network (AVN) award categories, which include: have been exposed. It’s possible that you will hear their porn use has not affected them yet. Unfortunately, what often begins as occasional use can easily blossom into a ‘Best Orgy/Gangbang Release,’ ‘Best Young Girl Release,’ about things that will shock and even disgust you, but full-bodied addiction to pornography. Many teenagers believe they will stop using pornography once they get married ‘Best Squirting Release’ (female ejaculation), and ‘Best you must not let that show. Encourage your students to but the practices we establish during our single years are generally the practices that we bring into our marriage years. All-Girl Group Sex Scene’ (which must include sex scenes seek the Lord and to share their struggles before God. In our line of work, we’ve met thousands of people who have told us that pornography has led them to behaviours between four or more women at once). The titles of previous Although viewing pornography can make them feel and places they wish they had never gone. While your students may seem to be enjoying a consequence-free season of winners in these categories are too explicit for me to include. distant from the Lord, God is waiting for them to return pornography-related sin, at some point, they will reap what they sow. to Him and accept his love and forgiveness. Want to join the conversation? Head to XXXCHURCH.com for more articles and resources. Check out their small group series Pure Sex if you would like to engage this topic further with your youth group. “Modern trends in pornography consumption and production, sexualised media, sex crime, online sexual predators, Internet dating services, and sexualised cyber-bullying, have created a May 2013 world more sexually dis-orienting, daunting, and aggressive than ever before.” the theme is consistent: pornography use has become Is Pornography Just Harmless Fun? Speak God’s truth normalised in our culture. Porn stars are now mainstream Contrary to what the culture says, pornography is Also, remind them what God has to say. Although the Bible doesn’t directly talk about “Internet pornography,” the Greek icons, little girls wear the Playboy bunny with pride on their Quarterly I ssue 06 not just ‘harmless fun.’ The pornography ‘fantasy’ term pornea is found throughout the New Testament, and it’s the root of our English word pornography. And when pornea T-shirts and our music industry continues to push the limits is spilling over into almost every corner of our is used, it’s talking about sexual sin or sex outside of the marital context God prescribes. Likewise, pornography represents a of ‘sexual expression’ to the point that today’s music videos culture—pushing powerful messages about human form of sexual escape and sexual experience outside the marital context for which God created sex. resemble the ‘soft-core’ pornography of yesterday. As author sexuality, sexual relationships, women’s bodies, p.16 Gail Dines describes in her book ‘Pornland’, shows like sexual expectations and sexual norms. As one The Ten Commandments might not say, ‘Thou shalt not look at pornography,’ they do tell us we should not commit Girls Gone Wild have positioned themselves “not as a porn report explained, “Modern trends in pornography adultery, and Jesus got to the real meaning of this commandment when He said, ‘I say, anyone who even looks at a product, but rather as hot, sexy fun that pushes the envelope consumption and production, sexualised media, sex woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart’ Matthew 5:28. When our students look at of mainstream pop culture.” crime, online sexual predators, Internet dating services, pornography, they are lusting after a man or a woman (or sometimes a group of them together—or even cartoons), and and sexualised cyber-bullying, have created a world they’re committing adultery in their heart and mind. God’s word tells us that our bodies, our minds and our hearts were Pornography | New Hard-Core Norm more sexually disorienting, daunting, and aggressive not meant for sexual immorality, but for purity, and that we should avoid every hint of sexual immorality—anything Some of you may not get why this is a big deal (although than ever before.” In this world, our children are that causes our mind, our heart, and our body to sin and lust, which pornography certainly does. I hope you do!). Perhaps you stumbled across a Playboy exposed to pornographic and sexual content at earlier magazine as a youngster and you don’t feel damaged as and earlier ages, in developmentally damaging ways. Help them establish safeguards a result. Perhaps you’ve only been exposed to soft-core As leaders, help your students to distinguish God’s truth from the lies of the culture. Remind them that you are here to pornography, or maybe you are part of the minority of adults Action Steps help. If they are struggling with pornography, talk to them about accountability and putting into place practices that can who have never encountered pornography. If so, it’s critical Talk about it help them avoid situations that get them into trouble. One student stopped taking his mobile device and computer into to understand that pornography has dramatically changed Pornography is undoubtedly an incredibly awkward his room at night, because he knew the temptation would be too strong. Another student was brave enough to talk with with the advent of the Internet. and difficult subject to talk about with your students, his parents and get them to purchase a filter and accountability software to help him make better choices online. Two but it’s a huge issue that impacts nearly every teenager teenage girls that were both struggling with using cybersex rooms agreed to meet every week before school to debrief Unfortunately, once users scrape beyond the soft-core with which you work. The enemy is using pornography and encourage each other to make Christ-like choices online and to abstain from visiting sites that tempted them to sin. surface of the pornography industry, they will dive into to break up marriages, create false expectations, drive the ‘anything goes’ world of hardcore pornography, filled people away from authentic love and intimacy, and, of Pray and lead with sensitivity with fetish, violence, bestiality, genital torture, group course, create distance between God and God’s people. Given the gravity of the topic, pray and stay in God’s word to discern when it’s right to start talking to your students ‘gangbangs,’ and ‘barely legal’ content. The explosion The next generation’s sexual and relational stability are about this issue. When I decided to start addressing this issue with my students, I gave them a heads-up that we of users and pornography sites has challenged the profit- at stake, and no one is immune to being impacted by the were going to talk about sex, purity, and pornography during our next meeting. I shared with them about my own making model of most mainstream pornographers. With onslaught of the culture’s sexual messages. early exposure to pornography (without going into the nature of the content), how it made me feel at the time and so much exposure, viewers need a new high. To combat how it impacted my understanding of sexuality later in life. I asked many questions regarding whether they had seen this desensitisation and to competitively differentiate their More likely than not, if you’ve established trust with pornography and whether they believed people in their class were looking at pornography. I asked them how it made product, pornography producers have created a vast array your students, once you start talking with them about them feel when their peers looked at pornography, and I told them about the harms related to viewing pornography. of niche, hardcore, violent, and fetish pornography. Many this subject, you won’t be able to get them to stop pornography stars have explained that the actions commonly sharing personal stories. Teenagers today are very Confront sin depicted in today’s pornography were almost non-existent confused and they are thirsty for clear answers and help. before the advent of the Internet. What was once considered Some teenagers will probably tell you that they look at pornography so they won’t have sex with their girlfriends or ‘hardcore’ pornography is now considered mainstream. boyfriends. Help them to realise that sin is still sin. Rather than establishing their own standards for purity and focusing on Stay calm what feeds their sexual desires, they need to focus on the behaviours that will help them draw closer to God. A quick look at some of the categories offered by one of Remember to stay calm, use humour, and approach this the top pornography sites today showed categories including subject with humility. Listen to what your students say, Talk to them about the unhealthy precedent they are setting for the rest of their lives, and help them to better bondage, cumshots, fisting, teen, orgy, shemale, hardcore, and don’t condemn or shame them in any way. Don’t understand the many harms of pornography use. Our students’ habituation to pornography predisposes them to and triple penetration. In one analysis of 50 best-selling forget that, for most teenagers, this is the new norm; engage in sexually risky behavior. One study among adolescents found a strong association between pornography adult titles, half of the 304 scenes surveyed showed extreme fetishes like hentai, cartoon, bisexual, violent, and consumption and engaging in oral and anal sex verbal aggression and over 88 percent included extreme MILF content are available through almost all major physical aggression. I took a quick look at this year’s Adult online pornography sites, so it’s likely that your youth If your students are looking at pornography, some of them may not understand why this is a big deal. It’s possible that Video Network (AVN) award categories, which include: have been exposed. It’s possible that you will hear their porn use has not affected them yet. Unfortunately, what often begins as occasional use can easily blossom into a ‘Best Orgy/Gangbang Release,’ ‘Best Young Girl Release,’ about things that will shock and even disgust you, but full-bodied addiction to pornography. Many teenagers believe they will stop using pornography once they get married ‘Best Squirting Release’ (female ejaculation), and ‘Best you must not let that show. Encourage your students to but the practices we establish during our single years are generally the practices that we bring into our marriage years. All-Girl Group Sex Scene’ (which must include sex scenes seek the Lord and to share their struggles before God. In our line of work, we’ve met thousands of people who have told us that pornography has led them to behaviours between four or more women at once). The titles of previous Although viewing pornography can make them feel and places they wish they had never gone. While your students may seem to be enjoying a consequence-free season of winners in these categories are too explicit for me to include. distant from the Lord, God is waiting for them to return pornography-related sin, at some point, they will reap what they sow. to Him and accept his love and forgiveness. Want to join the conversation? Head to XXXCHURCH.com for more articles and resources. Check out their small group series Pure Sex if you would like to engage this topic further with your youth group. ministering in tough places May 2013 Writer Jon Owen
It was 5am and I sat bolt upright tense moment and I was frozen to caught him, but I have to wear an lowered his head and muttered, “a family who loves me...”
in bed. the spot. I must have let out a feeble ankle bracelet which only allows his heart laying bare his true desires. Quarterly I ssue 06 yelp, as the kid turned his attention me 50 metres from my front door, The job of moving all we owned from the cars to look at me. He lucky kid!” Another, all of 12 years of age, who is trying desperately
into a cramped, mouldy commission must have mistaken my terror for to face reality head on in a way not many in his family do, p.18 townhouse had finished late the anger and began to head towards Help! What kind of spirituality suffered his first panic attack. As we went for a drive together previous night. Here we were, my me, brandishing his swords. All I could possibly help us survive in to talk through what was happening he realised that this was wife Lisa and two small daughters, could do was wish that I’d worn a this community? actually a sign that he is a healthy young man. He has to deal Kshama and Kiera, moving better pair of underwear and wasn’t with a mountain of crap that is not his fault. Internalising interstate, away from friends and a wimp. Nothing neat and clean will do. No the stress hasn’t worked. Besides, there is simply too much family, with a lot of enthusiasm and ‘Jesus, me and a cup of tea’ kind of to deal with, and tragically, it’s all real. During the chat he love for Jesus, but little or no plan. An angry shout then broke the connection was going to cut it in began to cry, “I am so afraid of my emotions”. tension. Yesterday’s motorcycle these broken down, littered, graffiti As we were shifting boxes in, rider’s “little” brother appeared. covered, violent alleyways. No Another kid, 13, has found that self-harming helps him under the watchful eye of a few Little is really the wrong word to spirituality that gives a warm, tingly control his world. neighbours, one of them tentatively describe him. He is a hulk of a man, buzz, as we gently rock back on our approached us. We were nearly standing over 2 metres tall, with a favourite chair in our warm study Another boy, 11, is sick and tired of his mother being both knocked over as a man in a well-muscled 120kg frame. would suffice. bashed by her boyfriend, and has taken to sleeping with balaclava roared between us on his a knife under his pillow so he can protect her. Harley Davidson. As we recovered, he pointed his long-neck of VB We are still here and it isn’t easy. And another, and another and another... towards me and said, “Welcome to the neighborhood, it ain’t hell Nothing worthwhile ever is. What The realisation that I couldn’t fix everything left me here, but it ain’t heaven either”. He has held us together? Christ, feeling so helpless. Running from pain into denial or cocked his head back, roared with pleasure seeking no longer works, which is a real pity. laughter, and drained the bottle. Community and Crying - yes crying. As I took a drive to work all this through, I pumped the stereo up loud and burst into tears. A flood streamed It was only 7.30 in the morning. It was now the kid’s turn to yelp! I That was nearly 6 years ago, down my cheeks, their heat melting away the steel; relaxed a little as my new best mate and we have seen some amazing a searing reminder of my humanity, our common Our place was located down a long, ran after him. The kid dropped the things happen as the light shines humanity. They were God given tears of healing. dark alleyway, seemingly built swords and took off, but his pursuer into the chaos and the darkness of as an afterthought, on the end of had speed. I was tense again; this people’s lives. It was a reminder that the heart that breaks holds Bougainville Road. As I continued scene could yet turn ugly if the kid together. It may hurt like hell, but it is infinitely stronger the move, my mind was spinning: got caught. Just as he was about We are still here and it isn’t easy. than the heart encased in steel, because, whilst bruised, to catch the would-be thief, the Nothing worthwhile ever is. What has it remains tender and open to still love in the midst of “There is no turning back now, pursuer stopped, cursing as the held us together? Christ, Community pain. Upon hearing about the death of Lazarus, Jesus here you are, deep in the heart of assailant disappeared. He walked and Crying - yes crying. Let me explain. first response was to weep. That’s a missional response. Australia’s largest, and one of it’s back, scooped up both swords with most notorious, public housing one of his massive hands and tested For years, Lisa and have taken a estates. What have you done?” different approach to responding to It’s where we can find hope to go on; all of us, all a little them out against the rotting wooden bit broken, moving together towards healing, all seeking fencing of the alleyway, seemingly the hurts and disappointments that life It wasn’t fear that woke me the next the love that Christ still lavishes on the hurting. pleased with his new acquisition. has dealt many of our friends. My way morning, I’d hardly slept, it was the is the better way of course, I learnt to What kind of spirituality is going to sustain in tough slow rumbling sound of the rubbish cope through encasing my heart with Why did he stop? I was intrigued. I places? The kind of spirituality that engages with the truck approaching. The bins! I’d thanked him for saving me and then armour. Lisa lets hers break. forgotten to put the bins out! Out world in all it’s pain and suffering head on, and seeks to commended him on his amazing heal and transform it through Jesus. A spirituality that I ran in my boxer shorts. As I was self-control, and asked why he That was until last week, when in the running with my bin I looked up space of a few hours I met a series lifts our broken bodies up from the streets, and pushes chose to stop chasing the kid. He us back out into a world that desperately needs Jesus. and froze. There was broken glass paused, turned to face me, looking of young men. One, who when everywhere. A kid with two samurai asked the simple goal setting/dream/ me in the eye while pointing one of unoh.org swords was smashing car windows motivational question ‘if you could For more information on the work of UNOH head to the swords straight at me: “I would Weekly Blog | ‘The Huddle’. Email [email protected] to steal stereos. It was a scary and have caught him, I could have have anything what would it be?’ with the message “Subscribe me Please.” ministering in tough places May 2013 Writer Jon Owen
It was 5am and I sat bolt upright tense moment and I was frozen to caught him, but I have to wear an lowered his head and muttered, “a family who loves me...”
in bed. the spot. I must have let out a feeble ankle bracelet which only allows his heart laying bare his true desires. Quarterly I ssue 06 yelp, as the kid turned his attention me 50 metres from my front door, The job of moving all we owned from the cars to look at me. He lucky kid!” Another, all of 12 years of age, who is trying desperately
into a cramped, mouldy commission must have mistaken my terror for to face reality head on in a way not many in his family do, p.18 townhouse had finished late the anger and began to head towards Help! What kind of spirituality suffered his first panic attack. As we went for a drive together previous night. Here we were, my me, brandishing his swords. All I could possibly help us survive in to talk through what was happening he realised that this was wife Lisa and two small daughters, could do was wish that I’d worn a this community? actually a sign that he is a healthy young man. He has to deal Kshama and Kiera, moving better pair of underwear and wasn’t with a mountain of crap that is not his fault. Internalising interstate, away from friends and a wimp. Nothing neat and clean will do. No the stress hasn’t worked. Besides, there is simply too much family, with a lot of enthusiasm and ‘Jesus, me and a cup of tea’ kind of to deal with, and tragically, it’s all real. During the chat he love for Jesus, but little or no plan. An angry shout then broke the connection was going to cut it in began to cry, “I am so afraid of my emotions”. tension. Yesterday’s motorcycle these broken down, littered, graffiti As we were shifting boxes in, rider’s “little” brother appeared. covered, violent alleyways. No Another kid, 13, has found that self-harming helps him under the watchful eye of a few Little is really the wrong word to spirituality that gives a warm, tingly control his world. neighbours, one of them tentatively describe him. He is a hulk of a man, buzz, as we gently rock back on our approached us. We were nearly standing over 2 metres tall, with a favourite chair in our warm study Another boy, 11, is sick and tired of his mother being both knocked over as a man in a well-muscled 120kg frame. would suffice. bashed by her boyfriend, and has taken to sleeping with balaclava roared between us on his a knife under his pillow so he can protect her. Harley Davidson. As we recovered, he pointed his long-neck of VB We are still here and it isn’t easy. And another, and another and another... towards me and said, “Welcome to the neighborhood, it ain’t hell Nothing worthwhile ever is. What The realisation that I couldn’t fix everything left me here, but it ain’t heaven either”. He has held us together? Christ, feeling so helpless. Running from pain into denial or cocked his head back, roared with pleasure seeking no longer works, which is a real pity. laughter, and drained the bottle. Community and Crying - yes crying. As I took a drive to work all this through, I pumped the stereo up loud and burst into tears. A flood streamed It was only 7.30 in the morning. It was now the kid’s turn to yelp! I That was nearly 6 years ago, down my cheeks, their heat melting away the steel; relaxed a little as my new best mate and we have seen some amazing a searing reminder of my humanity, our common Our place was located down a long, ran after him. The kid dropped the things happen as the light shines humanity. They were God given tears of healing. dark alleyway, seemingly built swords and took off, but his pursuer into the chaos and the darkness of as an afterthought, on the end of had speed. I was tense again; this people’s lives. It was a reminder that the heart that breaks holds Bougainville Road. As I continued scene could yet turn ugly if the kid together. It may hurt like hell, but it is infinitely stronger the move, my mind was spinning: got caught. Just as he was about We are still here and it isn’t easy. than the heart encased in steel, because, whilst bruised, to catch the would-be thief, the Nothing worthwhile ever is. What has it remains tender and open to still love in the midst of “There is no turning back now, pursuer stopped, cursing as the held us together? Christ, Community pain. Upon hearing about the death of Lazarus, Jesus here you are, deep in the heart of assailant disappeared. He walked and Crying - yes crying. Let me explain. first response was to weep. That’s a missional response. Australia’s largest, and one of it’s back, scooped up both swords with most notorious, public housing one of his massive hands and tested For years, Lisa and have taken a estates. What have you done?” different approach to responding to It’s where we can find hope to go on; all of us, all a little them out against the rotting wooden bit broken, moving together towards healing, all seeking fencing of the alleyway, seemingly the hurts and disappointments that life It wasn’t fear that woke me the next the love that Christ still lavishes on the hurting. pleased with his new acquisition. has dealt many of our friends. My way morning, I’d hardly slept, it was the is the better way of course, I learnt to What kind of spirituality is going to sustain in tough slow rumbling sound of the rubbish cope through encasing my heart with Why did he stop? I was intrigued. I places? The kind of spirituality that engages with the truck approaching. The bins! I’d thanked him for saving me and then armour. Lisa lets hers break. forgotten to put the bins out! Out world in all it’s pain and suffering head on, and seeks to commended him on his amazing heal and transform it through Jesus. A spirituality that I ran in my boxer shorts. As I was self-control, and asked why he That was until last week, when in the running with my bin I looked up space of a few hours I met a series lifts our broken bodies up from the streets, and pushes chose to stop chasing the kid. He us back out into a world that desperately needs Jesus. and froze. There was broken glass paused, turned to face me, looking of young men. One, who when everywhere. A kid with two samurai asked the simple goal setting/dream/ me in the eye while pointing one of unoh.org swords was smashing car windows motivational question ‘if you could For more information on the work of UNOH head to the swords straight at me: “I would Weekly Blog | ‘The Huddle’. Email [email protected] to steal stereos. It was a scary and have caught him, I could have have anything what would it be?’ with the message “Subscribe me Please.” being prepared for a mental health crisis things to remember May 2013
Further sources Writer Jessica Killeen If a young person is suicidal Look after yourself do not leave them alone You can get support for yourself by talking to a peer, Imagine... The preparation is done, the leaders are ready to play their part, Have someone with them at all times to help maintain mentor or professional agency (see resources). Mostly,
Youth Beyond Blue Quarterly I ssue 06 the room is decorated and all the elements of your great night have come their safety while professional support is sought (directly this support can be received without you sharing the youthbeyondblue.com name of the young person you are working with, out Australian anxiety and together well. You are about to launch into your session when several or by parents). In situations where the young person girls emerge from the toilets clearly shaken. “She’s lost it” they say, “she’s is very distressed and has immediate means to carry of respect for their privacy. Caring for someone who depression website for young p.20 shaking and saying weird things and we can’t get her to stop...” through their suicidal plan, contact police immediately. has a mental health issue of any sort can be extremely people with information, free demanding, so you need to allow yourself time to rest, downloads and stories from Or... A 14-year-old boy approaches you, concerned for his friend who has recharge and learn. other young people. Also Don’t agree to ‘keep it a secret’ been avoiding eating on camp all week and has been commenting about how provides a 24 hour helpline for You can’t keep it a secret if a young person is being fat he is. He says that he has tried to talk to him but he always just shrugs it Refer information and referrals. hurt by someone (including all types of abuse) or if off and says that he isn’t hungry or “mind your own business.” they are hurting themselves (non-suicidal self harming, Don’t take on the sole responsibility of supporting the or an attempt or intention for suicide), so you are best young person yourself, but involve others, especially Kids Help Line We have all been confronted by a ‘spanner in the works’ in our ministry with not to put yourself in an awkward situation by making a professionals, who are trained and experienced in kidshelpline.com.au young people - the inflatable that doesn’t arrive, the movie that turns out promise you can’t keep. If you are asked to keep a secret, providing support in these specific mental health areas. Service for young people up to to have a different rating, the facility being double booked, or the student you could respond by saying “that’s not a promise I can This strengthens the young person’s support, and helps 26 years of age with information who hangs off their new girlfriend making everyone else uncomfortable. make, but if you share something with me that needs to you to be able to play your unique and important role and telephone or web based But increasingly, a more challenging type of ‘spanner’ is confronting youth be shared with another adult, I will talk with you about in their life, instead of trying to handle the whole thing counseling. Ph 1800 55 1800 ministers and leaders: serious mental health issues. it first and you can be a part of the decision about who yourself. As much as possible don’t make big decisions we talk to and how that happens.” alone; talk to your team leader/mentor for support/ National Institute In Australia, a national survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing found that advice as you go. NIMH of Mental Health one in five Australians (approximately 3.2 million people) had a common To contact parents or not? nimh.nih.gov mental health illness during the previous 12 months Depending on the age of the young person, and how Provide an environment that is A great US Government website at risk you believe the young person is, it may be characterised by grace for adults who want information The most common mental health illnesses were identified as depression, appropriate to contact parents. In order to maintain the When the young person returns to your group after a about mental health issues. anxiety disorders and substance use disorders. In looking more specifically at young people, one in four were found to have a mental illness, with trust of the young person, it is best to talk to the young situation where others became aware that there was a person first about why you think this could be helpful or mental health issue raised, they may be embarrassed ReachOut certain sub-groups being more at risk, such as young people in foster care or those of Aboriginal descent. necessary. Very often young people are reassured by an about what others saw, said or heard about it. Reassure reachout.com.au adult’s willingness to take them seriously and that adults them that it is quite common to face these types of Australian site with information Working with adolescents has always required an understanding of the will be working together to support them. Another struggles, that they are still accepted for who they are, for young people about a range turbulence of the teenage years. But now there is a growing need to be consideration is how ‘at risk’ at young person is, and and that this ‘one off’ or this one issue doesn’t define of topics as well as fact sheets, able to differentiate between what would be understood as normal teenage whether your church/group has certain procedures in who they are as a person. interactive games, activities behaviours (such as mood swings, seeking risk, redefining of relationships, place for this. If you are not sure, it is worth asking and forums. testing limits) and those that indicate the possibility of a more serious mental before you find yourself in such a situation. Never suggest a young person stop their medications or health issue. current strategies Operate on a ‘needs to know basis’ All people have ‘mental health’, just as we all have physical health, along This means that if someone doesn’t need to know This should never be done without seeking medical/ a spectrum of possibilities. As with physical health, the mental health of a about a situation then they don’t get included. Allow professional advice first. young person will change over their lifetime and depends on many factors. the young person to give ideas about who they think Mental health issues may be challenging not only to the are the important people to know about their struggle. young people experiencing them but also to the fabric In Australia, half of all people who will experience mental illness will have For example, a young person may want all leaders to of your group. Take the time to consider how you have their first episode by the age of 18, and three quarters by the age of 25. This know that they sometimes struggle with social anxiety, responded in the past and what could be different next time. makes young people (and often those who are working to support them!) so that they can be understanding in unstructured group particularly at risk of experiencing a mental health issue. times. However, that same young person may not want Youth ministries provide places of belonging, all of the leaders to know that they had a panic attack significance and meaning for young people that have recently where they wet their pants. Information needs been shown to improve overall wellbeing and resilience. to be shared to maintain the safety of the individual When mental health issues arise I am greatly encouraged and the group but it doesn’t need to be shared simply that young people do respond well to support and helpful to ‘keep everyone in the loop’. Be clear with the treatments, and that there are many youth leaders who young person about who information is being shared are becoming more aware and willing to support them with and why. through this process.
being prepared for a mental health crisis things to remember May 2013
Further sources Writer Jessica Killeen If a young person is suicidal Look after yourself do not leave them alone You can get support for yourself by talking to a peer, Imagine... The preparation is done, the leaders are ready to play their part, Have someone with them at all times to help maintain mentor or professional agency (see resources). Mostly,
Youth Beyond Blue Quarterly I ssue 06 the room is decorated and all the elements of your great night have come their safety while professional support is sought (directly this support can be received without you sharing the youthbeyondblue.com name of the young person you are working with, out Australian anxiety and together well. You are about to launch into your session when several or by parents). In situations where the young person girls emerge from the toilets clearly shaken. “She’s lost it” they say, “she’s is very distressed and has immediate means to carry of respect for their privacy. Caring for someone who depression website for young p.20 shaking and saying weird things and we can’t get her to stop...” through their suicidal plan, contact police immediately. has a mental health issue of any sort can be extremely people with information, free demanding, so you need to allow yourself time to rest, downloads and stories from Or... A 14-year-old boy approaches you, concerned for his friend who has recharge and learn. other young people. Also Don’t agree to ‘keep it a secret’ been avoiding eating on camp all week and has been commenting about how provides a 24 hour helpline for You can’t keep it a secret if a young person is being fat he is. He says that he has tried to talk to him but he always just shrugs it Refer information and referrals. hurt by someone (including all types of abuse) or if off and says that he isn’t hungry or “mind your own business.” they are hurting themselves (non-suicidal self harming, Don’t take on the sole responsibility of supporting the or an attempt or intention for suicide), so you are best young person yourself, but involve others, especially Kids Help Line We have all been confronted by a ‘spanner in the works’ in our ministry with not to put yourself in an awkward situation by making a professionals, who are trained and experienced in kidshelpline.com.au young people - the inflatable that doesn’t arrive, the movie that turns out promise you can’t keep. If you are asked to keep a secret, providing support in these specific mental health areas. Service for young people up to to have a different rating, the facility being double booked, or the student you could respond by saying “that’s not a promise I can This strengthens the young person’s support, and helps 26 years of age with information who hangs off their new girlfriend making everyone else uncomfortable. make, but if you share something with me that needs to you to be able to play your unique and important role and telephone or web based But increasingly, a more challenging type of ‘spanner’ is confronting youth be shared with another adult, I will talk with you about in their life, instead of trying to handle the whole thing counseling. Ph 1800 55 1800 ministers and leaders: serious mental health issues. it first and you can be a part of the decision about who yourself. As much as possible don’t make big decisions we talk to and how that happens.” alone; talk to your team leader/mentor for support/ National Institute In Australia, a national survey of Mental Health and Wellbeing found that advice as you go. NIMH of Mental Health one in five Australians (approximately 3.2 million people) had a common To contact parents or not? nimh.nih.gov mental health illness during the previous 12 months Depending on the age of the young person, and how Provide an environment that is A great US Government website at risk you believe the young person is, it may be characterised by grace for adults who want information The most common mental health illnesses were identified as depression, appropriate to contact parents. In order to maintain the When the young person returns to your group after a about mental health issues. anxiety disorders and substance use disorders. In looking more specifically at young people, one in four were found to have a mental illness, with trust of the young person, it is best to talk to the young situation where others became aware that there was a person first about why you think this could be helpful or mental health issue raised, they may be embarrassed ReachOut certain sub-groups being more at risk, such as young people in foster care or those of Aboriginal descent. necessary. Very often young people are reassured by an about what others saw, said or heard about it. Reassure reachout.com.au adult’s willingness to take them seriously and that adults them that it is quite common to face these types of Australian site with information Working with adolescents has always required an understanding of the will be working together to support them. Another struggles, that they are still accepted for who they are, for young people about a range turbulence of the teenage years. But now there is a growing need to be consideration is how ‘at risk’ at young person is, and and that this ‘one off’ or this one issue doesn’t define of topics as well as fact sheets, able to differentiate between what would be understood as normal teenage whether your church/group has certain procedures in who they are as a person. interactive games, activities behaviours (such as mood swings, seeking risk, redefining of relationships, place for this. If you are not sure, it is worth asking and forums. testing limits) and those that indicate the possibility of a more serious mental before you find yourself in such a situation. Never suggest a young person stop their medications or health issue. current strategies Operate on a ‘needs to know basis’ All people have ‘mental health’, just as we all have physical health, along This means that if someone doesn’t need to know This should never be done without seeking medical/ a spectrum of possibilities. As with physical health, the mental health of a about a situation then they don’t get included. Allow professional advice first. young person will change over their lifetime and depends on many factors. the young person to give ideas about who they think Mental health issues may be challenging not only to the are the important people to know about their struggle. young people experiencing them but also to the fabric In Australia, half of all people who will experience mental illness will have For example, a young person may want all leaders to of your group. Take the time to consider how you have their first episode by the age of 18, and three quarters by the age of 25. This know that they sometimes struggle with social anxiety, responded in the past and what could be different next time. makes young people (and often those who are working to support them!) so that they can be understanding in unstructured group particularly at risk of experiencing a mental health issue. times. However, that same young person may not want Youth ministries provide places of belonging, all of the leaders to know that they had a panic attack significance and meaning for young people that have recently where they wet their pants. Information needs been shown to improve overall wellbeing and resilience. to be shared to maintain the safety of the individual When mental health issues arise I am greatly encouraged and the group but it doesn’t need to be shared simply that young people do respond well to support and helpful to ‘keep everyone in the loop’. Be clear with the treatments, and that there are many youth leaders who young person about who information is being shared are becoming more aware and willing to support them with and why. through this process.
evangelism: facing grief May 2013 the case for staying silent Writer Kylie Butler Writer Jamie Haith It’s a warm February night, there is a buzz in the air, Tim’s funeral was so jam packed that there was standing and Youth Ministry has never seen better days. We were room only and even then people spilled out into the foyer. If my wife knew I Today I am passionate about seeing Don’t get me wrong; it’s great to topping 200 students; many of them were from our local Hundreds of students, leaders, friends, students’ parents, was writing this she every student equipped and released be convinced of the truth. It’s great schools and had never heard the gospel before. Some of footy mates, and family filled the church. It was evident Quarterly I ssue 06 would kill me. She to offer the truth of the love of God to be overflowing with life and our youth interns had been running a Youth Alpha program that Tim was a young man who had an incredible overlap in the schools and regularly seen students respond to Jesus. of church and non-church friends and whose influence wants nothing to do to their friends at school and college. excitement about God’s grace. It’s
I often find myself reflecting on great to have studied and to know was quite apparent. p.22 with anything public, those unique and precious years all the finest words to express We were anticipating a big night, the skate ramps were out, but I think it’s time in full time education, and I find the most profound theological the kiosk was full of food & drink, games prepared, preacher The days following saw a flood of grief in the local her story was told. myself wondering what I would do doctrines. That’s all fine, but is ready: tonight we were expecting to see students saved! schools. One school allowed a memorial service for those different if I had my time over. Want anyone listening? The Church can who couldn’t attend the funeral. As a result, the numbers It’s a simple story really, set at a to know what conclusion I’ve come be just as bad as everyone else at At leaders prep we noticed one of our key leaders, Tim*, was at the Youth Alpha course increased and we saw a pile of university in London, England a to? I would work on two things. talking when no one is listening. missing from the leaders’ briefing. A few of tried to call him students make commitments at the back of that. few years ago. At first in uni halls, but there was no answer and we figured he was just running then in a rented house. She lived Being out there and listening. I love The Alpha Course because late. Interestingly, he was not the kind of leader to run late for We noticed during this time, that there are many forms alongside some great people; great Not exactly earth shattering, is it?! it has at its heart the expectation Youth Ministry. It was not until just before starting time that of grief; sadness, quiet, anger, disbelief, shock and every people whose lives were changed that those who are hosting it are something began to feel uneasy. Tim was rarely this late, and person deals with it differently and for many the pain may forever by knowing her. She But, tell me this: in this crazy old devoting themselves to the fine art if he was he would always call or SMS. dim but it never goes away. We felt very blessed to be prayed for them incessantly, cared world of ours, where everybody is of listening, allowing guests to be within a great team, a team that supported us as leaders for them continuously and loved talking…just who is listening? themselves, engaging with them, As students began arriving, they were talking about an personally and supported us as we supported those in our God relentlessly. One by one they accident on the highway on their way to Youth. One of our ministry who were grieving. came to know the love of God for leaders took off in his car to check, and then the report came themselves simply because of her I believe, and my experience has shown, that in; the call that you always dread and the voice you never natural faith and living witness the majority of evangelism is just a case of want to hear. Tim had been killed in a motorbike accident on Some thoughts about grief: among them. She was there for keeping silent. his way to Youth Ministry. them, and she listened to them. • People respond differently, allow them to Simple as that. (And, yes, they are Immediately leaders and students went into shock and disbelief and there was a huge outpouring of grief. Both • People’s timing of grief is different and that’s OK all great friends to this day.) I believe, and my experience caring for them and praying for Adam & myself, as the Youth Pastors, went into shock as has shown, that the majority of them. I suppose it goes without • Encourage people to share (over and over again) well. Everything felt hazy and surreal. No one prepares Now, I have to admit that when I evangelism is just a case of keeping saying, however, that guests can you for this! There was no training at Bible College for • Look out for each other look back on my time at university silent. Isn’t it great that it’s so only become guests if someone has this sort of situation! We had over one hundred students I do so with a certain degree of simple? If you are keen to make a invited them. So the challenge for • Care for yourself as a leader onsite plus an additional 50 leaders, not to mention regret. Don’t get me wrong, it was big difference for God, if you want us is that we have to be out there, parents. What are you supposed to do? It seemed like great to live with other Christians to be eloquent in your expression in the clubs and the gyms, in the • Know the different forms of grief every feeling in my body was hypersensitive and that and be really involved with all sorts of the gospel, then that’s the place pub and at the school gates, making everything was happening in slow motion. Somehow I • Grief is a journey not a moment of Christian activity on campus. It to start: just be around people who friends, being there for them, and was able to phone our Senior Pastor and within minutes, was easy to do as there was always don’t know Jesus, and don’t say a listening to them. • Choose to remember, for the sake of yourself and others a lot going on. But I know, if I’m word! All of us can do that. he and the rest of the pastoral team arrived at the • Be prayerful honest, that I let myself get stuck So now, all dog-collared up as a church. They were able to orchestrate students phoning in the Christian ghetto. By my final One of the most powerful ways of Church of England minister and their parents to be collected and the accurate story showing someone that they matter, being communicated to parents as they collected their year, almost all of my friends were about to lead my own church, I Tough seasons in life and ministry are inevitable, as is and that you care, is simply to be children. As I think back now, the magnitude of that task from either church or the campus hereby make myself accountable to pain, loss, frustration, despair, but during those times do silent as they speak. Allow yourself was unbelievable, and I am so thankful for their support. fellowship group. And so I fell at you that I will learn from my mistakes we push into the loving comfort of God or do we move the first hurdle of evangelism: when the time and space to engage with at Uni: that I will wrestle continually As the news spread, other young adults, parents and friends away from God and attempt to do it in our own strength? it came to just being there, I wasn’t. their story, to appreciate all that has with my getting too comfortable in began arriving at the church and the extent of Tim’s influence In my immaturity I failed to make gone into making them the person the Christian bubble. I need to be out became evident. This was a young man who had touched honest, real friendships with people they are before you right now. there, and I need to keep listening. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures and influenced many lives, from church to high schools, who weren’t already ‘in the club’. And pray for them. Pray for them Who knows, one day I might be as forever. In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he from the footy club to family. As the night continued on to silently. Pray that God’s love would natural an evangelist as my wife! answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I the early morning, we shared stories, cried, sobbed, hugged, That all seems half a lifetime ago become to them an earth shattering, ...just don’t tell her I said that. will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The LORD (…probably because that’s exactly and a soul healing, reality. Pray for sat in silence and we prayed together. is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation what it is!). For the last eight years the chance to offer them prayer – Psalms 118:1,5-6,14 it has been my pleasure to head up you’d be amazed how often that Student Alpha and Youth Alpha. offer is accepted! Give it a go. * Name Changed evangelism: facing grief May 2013 the case for staying silent Writer Kylie Butler Writer Jamie Haith It’s a warm February night, there is a buzz in the air, Tim’s funeral was so jam packed that there was standing and Youth Ministry has never seen better days. We were room only and even then people spilled out into the foyer. If my wife knew I Today I am passionate about seeing Don’t get me wrong; it’s great to topping 200 students; many of them were from our local Hundreds of students, leaders, friends, students’ parents, was writing this she every student equipped and released be convinced of the truth. It’s great schools and had never heard the gospel before. Some of footy mates, and family filled the church. It was evident Quarterly I ssue 06 would kill me. She to offer the truth of the love of God to be overflowing with life and our youth interns had been running a Youth Alpha program that Tim was a young man who had an incredible overlap in the schools and regularly seen students respond to Jesus. of church and non-church friends and whose influence wants nothing to do to their friends at school and college. excitement about God’s grace. It’s
I often find myself reflecting on great to have studied and to know was quite apparent. p.22 with anything public, those unique and precious years all the finest words to express We were anticipating a big night, the skate ramps were out, but I think it’s time in full time education, and I find the most profound theological the kiosk was full of food & drink, games prepared, preacher The days following saw a flood of grief in the local her story was told. myself wondering what I would do doctrines. That’s all fine, but is ready: tonight we were expecting to see students saved! schools. One school allowed a memorial service for those different if I had my time over. Want anyone listening? The Church can who couldn’t attend the funeral. As a result, the numbers It’s a simple story really, set at a to know what conclusion I’ve come be just as bad as everyone else at At leaders prep we noticed one of our key leaders, Tim*, was at the Youth Alpha course increased and we saw a pile of university in London, England a to? I would work on two things. talking when no one is listening. missing from the leaders’ briefing. A few of tried to call him students make commitments at the back of that. few years ago. At first in uni halls, but there was no answer and we figured he was just running then in a rented house. She lived Being out there and listening. I love The Alpha Course because late. Interestingly, he was not the kind of leader to run late for We noticed during this time, that there are many forms alongside some great people; great Not exactly earth shattering, is it?! it has at its heart the expectation Youth Ministry. It was not until just before starting time that of grief; sadness, quiet, anger, disbelief, shock and every people whose lives were changed that those who are hosting it are something began to feel uneasy. Tim was rarely this late, and person deals with it differently and for many the pain may forever by knowing her. She But, tell me this: in this crazy old devoting themselves to the fine art if he was he would always call or SMS. dim but it never goes away. We felt very blessed to be prayed for them incessantly, cared world of ours, where everybody is of listening, allowing guests to be within a great team, a team that supported us as leaders for them continuously and loved talking…just who is listening? themselves, engaging with them, As students began arriving, they were talking about an personally and supported us as we supported those in our God relentlessly. One by one they accident on the highway on their way to Youth. One of our ministry who were grieving. came to know the love of God for leaders took off in his car to check, and then the report came themselves simply because of her I believe, and my experience has shown, that in; the call that you always dread and the voice you never natural faith and living witness the majority of evangelism is just a case of want to hear. Tim had been killed in a motorbike accident on Some thoughts about grief: among them. She was there for keeping silent. his way to Youth Ministry. them, and she listened to them. • People respond differently, allow them to Simple as that. (And, yes, they are Immediately leaders and students went into shock and disbelief and there was a huge outpouring of grief. Both • People’s timing of grief is different and that’s OK all great friends to this day.) I believe, and my experience caring for them and praying for Adam & myself, as the Youth Pastors, went into shock as has shown, that the majority of them. I suppose it goes without • Encourage people to share (over and over again) well. Everything felt hazy and surreal. No one prepares Now, I have to admit that when I evangelism is just a case of keeping saying, however, that guests can you for this! There was no training at Bible College for • Look out for each other look back on my time at university silent. Isn’t it great that it’s so only become guests if someone has this sort of situation! We had over one hundred students I do so with a certain degree of simple? If you are keen to make a invited them. So the challenge for • Care for yourself as a leader onsite plus an additional 50 leaders, not to mention regret. Don’t get me wrong, it was big difference for God, if you want us is that we have to be out there, parents. What are you supposed to do? It seemed like great to live with other Christians to be eloquent in your expression in the clubs and the gyms, in the • Know the different forms of grief every feeling in my body was hypersensitive and that and be really involved with all sorts of the gospel, then that’s the place pub and at the school gates, making everything was happening in slow motion. Somehow I • Grief is a journey not a moment of Christian activity on campus. It to start: just be around people who friends, being there for them, and was able to phone our Senior Pastor and within minutes, was easy to do as there was always don’t know Jesus, and don’t say a listening to them. • Choose to remember, for the sake of yourself and others a lot going on. But I know, if I’m word! All of us can do that. he and the rest of the pastoral team arrived at the • Be prayerful honest, that I let myself get stuck So now, all dog-collared up as a church. They were able to orchestrate students phoning in the Christian ghetto. By my final One of the most powerful ways of Church of England minister and their parents to be collected and the accurate story showing someone that they matter, being communicated to parents as they collected their year, almost all of my friends were about to lead my own church, I Tough seasons in life and ministry are inevitable, as is and that you care, is simply to be children. As I think back now, the magnitude of that task from either church or the campus hereby make myself accountable to pain, loss, frustration, despair, but during those times do silent as they speak. Allow yourself was unbelievable, and I am so thankful for their support. fellowship group. And so I fell at you that I will learn from my mistakes we push into the loving comfort of God or do we move the first hurdle of evangelism: when the time and space to engage with at Uni: that I will wrestle continually As the news spread, other young adults, parents and friends away from God and attempt to do it in our own strength? it came to just being there, I wasn’t. their story, to appreciate all that has with my getting too comfortable in began arriving at the church and the extent of Tim’s influence In my immaturity I failed to make gone into making them the person the Christian bubble. I need to be out became evident. This was a young man who had touched honest, real friendships with people they are before you right now. there, and I need to keep listening. Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures and influenced many lives, from church to high schools, who weren’t already ‘in the club’. And pray for them. Pray for them Who knows, one day I might be as forever. In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he from the footy club to family. As the night continued on to silently. Pray that God’s love would natural an evangelist as my wife! answered by setting me free. The LORD is with me; I the early morning, we shared stories, cried, sobbed, hugged, That all seems half a lifetime ago become to them an earth shattering, ...just don’t tell her I said that. will not be afraid. What can man do to me? The LORD (…probably because that’s exactly and a soul healing, reality. Pray for sat in silence and we prayed together. is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation what it is!). For the last eight years the chance to offer them prayer – Psalms 118:1,5-6,14 it has been my pleasure to head up you’d be amazed how often that Student Alpha and Youth Alpha. offer is accepted! Give it a go. * Name Changed GOD • FRIENDS • ACTIVITIES • FUN • CREATIVITY
vic.youthvision.org.au/illuminate