GUILDS UGM M.E. 2201.15 pm Tues

Have a Happy Xmas NEWSPAPER OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION December 11th, 1973 FREE! ISSUE No. 350 Everyone!

GRANT INCREASE P.A.W.N.O.

At 6.00 p.m.on Friday evening I we need higher grants (and you must did a tour of the halls of residence be nuts if you think the present grants system is satisfactory) then you must IMMINENT - to collect the nomination forms for be willing to work for it; you must be the Imperial College Tenants Asso- willing to act. An increase in grants is about to the 1962 level and coupled with in- ciation Executive Committee. I found be recommended in a confidential flation of 40 per cent pa expected by The first meeting of the Imperial completed forms only in Beit and Government report to be drafted Christmas, according to the Guardian, College Tenants Association will be soon. this means that the £100 could be Selkirk. Now, at 4.00 on Sunday the held this week .At present the venue According to the Daily Telegraph wiped out over the Christmas vaca- situation is the same. I can announce isn't finalised (it will, I hope, be the this increase "will not, in present tion. that Messrs. Tony Taylor and Digby Union Concert Hall or Mech. Eng. 220) but every resident will be get- economic circumstances, approach Students next term cannot afford James are the elected representa- the 35 per cent increase demanded to be complacent about the political ting a note to let him or her know tives for Beit Hall and Mrs. Averil where it will be. Please try and come. at the recent NUS conference in Mar- and economic crisis, they will either Dewing is the Representative for Sel- The time will be Thursday at 5.45 gate". be starved out of higher education by which I hope will not clash with any- The level of the residual income rising prices or the grants campaign kirk Hall. As yet, the constitution that thing. Please try and show that the (at present £1400) may be raised to is fought on a higher level: that of I've prepared has yet to be formally person putting up the notices about £1800 or higher. This is the assess- an alliance with sections of the Trade approved. Because of this I may find apathy society is wrong about this able income left after mortgages, Union movement to bring down the it necessary to alter it slightly to en- college. superannuation, etc. Tories. able the Executive Committee to be Nothing will be done about dis- The DES has refused to let stud- Duplicating Machines. So much cretionary awards, or the means test, ents keep their living standards and formed. I hope I don't have to do this for one of my rare political pieces, and the Government seems constant has launched attacks through the but it will all depend on the response now for something a bit lighter. about what to do with married wom- CVEP to victimise students who take to the nomination papers during the Those of you who have had cause to en's grants and PG awards. action (rent strikes, etc.). rest of the week. use the duplicating machines during Sir Brian is thought to have said The rent strikes of IC next term has the last term may have noticed that that the increase about to be offered to be fought in conjunction with all During the last term it has been they are sadly lacking in various odd is about £100. sections of students and trade union- my task (an almost thankless one) items, e.g. ink drums, fuses and Such an increase will in no way ists to bring down the Tories and to advertise the Union General meet- others. A Roneo rep finally, after more bring us up to the halcyon days of their blatant contempt for students. ings. At most of these (and there phone calls than I care to mention, have been six) there has been some decided that he would come and discussion on the rent strike and the have a look. He gave them a thorough grants campaign. However, except inspection and then an estimate for for the initial decision to have a rent the cost of putting them back into PURPLE PATCH strike, very few other agreement have almost new condition. Needless to been reached. Why? Mainly because say, it, is only slightly more expen- As this is the last patch of the would be JUSTIFIED in thinking that of the lack of people present at the sive to buy new ones. It is hoped, meetings, which have therefore been term, and many of you Will shortly society was working against you. You therefore, that by the end of the deemed inquorate. The quorum is at be going home, or at least away from would find it difficult to believe that Christmas vacation we will have two present 300 out of a total of 4,086 new machines plus one of the old College, I would like you to think the students in the Western world students; a pathetically small percen- machines for less important work. about a few topics other than those were protesting at only getting £15 tage. Yet the total turn-out at the The two new ones will be locked which directly affect your student each week to live on, and not being CCU meetings has been collectively away in the duplicating room and more than the IC UGM quorum. lives. able to live a life of luxury. will be for limited personnel only. It When those of you who are lucky This Christmas whilst you are at If you consider that your CCU will be necessary to insist that ail business (and this is NOT a kick at people who wish to use the new enough to be going home to see your home, please spend a little time the CCU's) is more important than machines will have to attend a de- parents and families, arrive there and thinking about those around the world the amount of money that you have monstration given by someone from get settled in beside the nice warm who have far les privileges than you, in your pockets then that is your Roneo. Adequate warning will be giv- fire, with Mum fussing over you, and and yet who are biologically exactly business. However, it is no use blam- en beforehand. Dad offering to take you out for a the same as you. Think about those pint, please spare a thought for those ing the ICU Exec for not trying to Christmas is upon us, under us, people in Northern Ireland Who are get the grants raised if you, the stud- who cannot get home this Christmas. around us. Soon, most of you will be afraid to go out after 8.0 in the even- ent body, are not prepared to do Think for a few moments of the for- ing because of a fear of being in- winging your way home (assuming eign students from the College (al- something about it also. There are volved in a terrorist gun battle. too many people at this college who you can get petrol for your vehicle, most 1000) who are having to spend jump at the chance to criticise, to talk, their vacation in some cold and dingy As a final thought, if you do not that the airlines get fuel for their to argue, but there are very few who bedsit in Neasden, dreaming of the know very much or do not believe planes, that the train drivers don't go are willing to act. It is not criticism, Christmasses in the past which they what you have heard about this man on strike and that there is enough talking, and arguments that get what have spent at home with their parents Jesus Christ, then please spend a we want. What is needed is action. electricity to light your way home). and families. I am sure that none of little time over the vacation trying to Mass action that involves as many Once there you can sit down to tur- you would argue with the fact that sort out What it is all about. students as possible. The rent strike key (50p a lb., don't eat too much) the prospect of spending Christmas For those overseas students who is one of these, but not the only one. alone in London in your little bedsit- will be staying in London over the and all the trimmings (probably 50 This not only needs people partici- Christmas vacation, I would give you per cent more expensive than last thinking of all the people who have pating, it also means that some of one tip, that in many of the Churches year). You can drink yourself merry gone home to their families, is not a the people that do all the talking around the area you will be able to very warming idea. must be wiling to help out with the (at least 3p more than at college for find friends who will be only too I would also like to think of your organisation, the leafletting, the pub- each drink). Warm yourself in front happy to share their Christmas enjoy- own position this Christmas. Think ment with you. If you live in the area licising, the production of posters, of the fire (I hope you've got enough of how lucky you are to be at home, etc., etc. If it takes one person 4 around College you will find that cdal. Oh! and while I remember—; and how nice it is for a change to hours minimum to put up posters in Saint Paul's Church, Onslow Square, MERRY CHRISTMAS. be getting good meals and also a has a very large number of students all aval labile places, then it takes less Successful nomination for Tirand good bed to sleep in. Think about and overseas visitors in the congre- than half-an-hour for a dozen people your "Miserable" grant and how you gation who would be only too happy to do the same. Next term's rent Hall: D. R. Gray, Andy Higman. can only afford "One square meal to help you have an enjoyable Christ- strike is going ahead and if you want each day of the week". Then try to mas. it to work, if you really believe that P. A. Wadsworth. imagine yourself in the position of someone in a backwood town in Viet- To each and every one of you, I nam or the war ridden areas of Greece wish you a very merry Christmas and BRITISH ASSOCIATION OF Anyone wanting a week in Paris, or Chile. Imagine yourself as an 18 hope that those Christians amongst STUDENT SCIENTISTS year old black boy in the middle of you will pray for those in the rest of There will be a four-day conference from all expenses paid, at an the world less fortunate than us, and 2nd to 5th January, 1974, in London, the Rhodesia. What would you feel like theme of which will be "The Social respon- engineers/scientists conference if you could only get one square meal that those non-Christians amongst sibility of the scientist within the commun- each month, or had been kicked out you Will give a little time to think ity". in late January should apply to of University for admitting that your about those in the rest of the world The cost will be minimal, and a few Norm Sayles immediately. lecturer was prejudiced against you less fortunate than us. scholarships from the college are available. for the colour of your skin? I'll tell Please apply in writing to Norm Sayles, Good knowledge of French See you ail after Christmas. Union Office by 4.30 Thursday, 13th De- you what you would feel like, you cember. essential. would probably feel very sick, and Norm. Page 2 FEJLIX December 11th, 197S Jock Veall The policy provides the following benefits:— waters the £500 Death £500. Permanent Total Dis- LETTERS wrong roots ablement £2,000 for (For injuries leading Sir, to permanent partial The Yours Luv V I was much amused to disablement there is read Jock Veall's exposi- a pre-arranged seal* dead of benefits laid down historical (?) tion on the 'Historical patronisingly, kisses with payments mad© roots of. Lord Gnome Roots of Religion'. To dependent upon the etc. describe the article as severity of the injur- Christianity 'drivel' would be pay- students ies.) Sir, The lack of solid fact Eye Publications, ing it far too great a Temporary Total Dis- 34 Greek Street, We have now been in Jock's recent expose Having been shown compliment for such a ablement £10 per week of the folly of those who the article in your col- London, W1. able to finalise the ar- Up to a maximum of continuous flow of mis- know Jesus Christ as lege magazine on the 3rd December. rangements for the 104 weeks from the conceptions. Indeed so Lord and Saviour was 'Historical roots of reli- Group Personal Accident fifth week of disability expected. This is be- gion' 1 feel I must regis- Dear Sir, glaring are these miscon- onwards. With reference to the Policy. The position is cause the facts are so ter my total disagree- ceptions that if I were to In addition a special publication of a quite ob- as follows:— overwhelmingly clear. ment with almost all the be told that Mr. Veall discretionary fund op- viously bogus correspon- The Bible, Tacitus, Pliny ideas put forward by Mr. With effect from 1 erates which enables dence, signed by a Mr. possessed even the and Thailus all witness Veall. He appears to have October, 1973, all stud- the insurers to consid- B. McKenzie, in your smallest of brain cells to Jesus Christ as being limited experience of the ents who are attending er ad hoc payments. for more than a mere quite obviously bogus I would not hesitate to deep-seated origins of College on a full-time man. 'paper', I beg to inform The policy does not religion. It is not a sub- accuse him of libel. For- basis or attending short you that you will shortly include cover to those One of the most over- ject to be summed-Up tunately no one I've met post-graduate courses, be hearing from our Sol- students who participate whelming pieces of evi- lightly as Mr. Veall be- are covered under a icitors, Messrs. Sue, has suggested that he in mountaineering, pot- dence is the accuracy of lieves by briefly discus- Group Personal Accident Grabtoit, and Runne, in has any brain at all so holing, rock climbingf, prophecy in the Bible, sing a few historical oc- Policy. The insurance is connection with in- I can refer to his errors caving, gliding, balloon- even to this very day. currences. in force 24 hours a day fringement of the Copy- ing, sub aqua and skin Jesus Christ fulfilled Without delving too as misconceptions. during term time so stud- right Act, 1961. diving, surfing, motor countless messages of deeply into What | regard ents do not have to be prophecy during his life as the truth in this mat- You may or may not In his article Mr. Veall rallying, judo, karate, go- places in block capitals in College or on College kart racing, winter on earth, particularly lu- ter ('the truth' as Oscar be aware that our Com- business to be covered. cid are those concerning Wilde so rightly says 'is pany has the Copyright "Religion is false con- sports, ski-ing, and rifle Students are also insured M his death and resurrec- rarely pure and never on, and the sole publica- sciousness". At first and pistol shooting. sight such a statement While on College or Un- the various Union Clubs tion. The evidence for simple') so I would tion rights to, the expres- ion sponsored activities Christ's resurrection has seems so meaningless require this cover, they merely recommend Mr. sions:— outside term time, e.g. never been satisfactorily that it appears to be 'im- should negotiate direct Veall to read Bethan's "bangs like a shithouse field trips, sports tours, explained away, despite possible to argue for or With Endsleigh Insur- 'Analysis of Religion'be- door in a gale," etc. many attempts. These against such a concept. ances (Brokers) Ltd. fore he discusses this and are doomed to failure, Perhaps this is his inten- matter again. "a good set of top-bol- because the facts speak tion. However, in reading Rev. David Harding. locks." for themselves, they say the preamble to this These quotations are that Jesus lis who He sweeping phrase one the -private and very per- said He was, the Son of finds him talking of the Petrol rationing sonal property of one God. The facts about Racism 'fundamental contradic- Barry Humphries, Esq., Christ are as solid as tions between man and who Wishes to remain any upon which we do Sir, nature' as 'man wanting anonymous. our scientific research I have just been read- to control nature but na- and RCC transport We are quite reason- and yet people still ture not wanting to be ing a copy of the recent- able people, really, and avoid the issue instead controlled by man'. This ly published IC Rag Mag. we are 'prepared to drop of facing it head on. This contradiction we are told In view of the present hicles as fully as I feel I must raise my the matter completely if is in fact further evi- leads to the evolution of uncertainty regarding possible, voice in protest about you print a public apol- dence that Jesus is religion. Really? petrol rationing, R.C.C. e) Only allow other one of the articles in- ogy immediately and pay something special. Transport Sub-Commit- clubs and private us- cluded in it. me £267,000 by 6.00 I shall not go on as I tee has decided, if rat- ers to use the veh- The final evidence is Surely, as 'intelligent' p.m. tomorrow (leave it do not wish to be too cri- ioning is introduced, to: icles if there are any when a man comes into students, we should be in locker 238 in the Phy- tical so I shall leave the a) Control the coupons surplus coupons. a personal relationship striving to break down sics Department). summary to Mr. Veall for R.C.C. vehicles, The above proposal® with Christ, then he can the barriers of racial hat- himself. He refers to 'a Yours faithfully, and except l.C.C.A.G's. assume that petrol rat- say "I know Jesus is red, exploitation and fantastic force outside of hopefully. vehicle Which will be ioning is introduced on alive today and loves prejudice that were his control'. It seems E. Strobes, the responsibility of the system Which is at me". created by our 'Colonial that he was aptly de- pp Lord Gnome. the community ac- present being prepared. If anyone seriously Heritage'. Yet one item scribing his own capabil- Gnome VERY Wonderful tion group. If rationing is intro- doubts this we suggest, in the magazine (on page Cast-Iron Guaranteed ity to discuss this topic. b) Ask every priority duced immediately after before wasting more 22, I believe) blatantly Rip Off Company Inc. Nigel Foster. club to make their the issue of coupons is space in Felix, that they sets out to insult Black bookings again for complete, then the tw» look very carefully at the People. I wonder What next term, giving an tours planned for the va- facts with an open and impression of we so-cal- order of preference cation will have to toe (for you, All) a truly led intellectual and lib- for eaCh trip and an scientific mind. We wel- eral whites this will TUESDAY, 11th DEC: cancelled, and the coup- estimated mileage come anybody to come leave with some of the ons saved for next term. 12.55 BBC News! (as accurate as pos- and talk to us about this overseas students who If rationing isn't imme- sible). and we will share with are studying at this col- 13.00 The Liquidator! diately introduced tbenr them what we know and lege. c) Restrict priority clubs the winter tours will be have discovered since O.K. Let's all have a A film starring Rod Taylor. to one or two week- allowed to continue, tout we asked Jesus Christ good laugh—and let's ends next term, de- the users must keep m into our lives as Saviour raise money for charity Adventure, women and pending on how contact with the news- and Lord. at the same time; but much petrol is allow- papers and radio, so as ed per month, and soon as definite news ht Maurice Moloney Chem NOT at the expense of money lure an ex-army ser- the distance of their given out they must re- 3 being definitely unchar- geant into a life of killing trips. turn to London. Anne Moloney Chem 3 itable to oppressed min- d) Try to' ensure that Gerald Causer Digby James 'Chem 3 orities. for MI5. clubs use the ve- Christine Little IF. Graham Kerwin. (Sec. R.C.C. Transport

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Poetry Corner Touchstone So, "The place of cars in Steve Chudy of Physics 11 - Society3 Why did your hair turn Black It defeats me how there are so many students Overnight ? to Whom Touchstone is a complete mystery. One of those events which you see posters for, but still haven't any idea what it's all about. Maybe this I saw you get pissed on Saturday article will help clarify things. THE REIGN OF PEACE In the bar, Touchstone is, basically, a discussion weekend, though it has many other good points besides And do a Zumba. O Irish friends across the sea, that. It starts off, soon after you arrive with a We differ still, but let's agree talk given by the guest speaker, who is usually To end the chilling past that's gone. Keith's Mum says of high renown in his subject. This lasts roughly Can you forgive, forget, march on, an hour, and is followed by an open forum in So wars, like snakes, are no more seen if she'd been there which you can fire questions at him on any queries arising. Across the bitter, blood-stained green? She would have poured After dinner groups of half a dozen or more Let love now melt the shearing edge A pint of Tartan on are formed; and once a chairman and scribe is Of frozen faith's dividing wedge. elected you can discuss-cum-argue over some set How great was Peter's faith, and fear, Your balls. questions either until you've said your lot, you're In slashing.off the soldiers' ear; blue in the face, or bed, bar or snooker takes its Though Christ, so boundlessly humane, E. Jorvis Thribb (17). toll. Then healed it on and stopped the pain. Next morning, after breakfast you can do as Pray parted Irish eyes transmit you please (except stay in bed), though person- The scene each side can see to fit ally, nothing short of a monsoon would keep As single sight within the mind, Adventures in the me from a walk in nearby Windsor Great Park, And blind-spots see by sight combined. which is beautiful at all times of year. If you go May each hibernal, Christian light Union Quadrangle: in winter though, beware of Virginia Water, as Let insight calm the Pyrrhic night. the ice may not be as sturdy as it seems. Indeed On Saturday, December the first, an amaz- it claimed two of our party (me included) When ing and unprecedented event took place in the When motes impede our sight it seems we tried to make our way across one of the Union Quadrangle. At about ten to midnight, Each other's church has many beams. narrower parts. Also to enable you to return in some people with left-wing views on free speech What rainbow spans your haunted isle time for lunch maps are issued, and are quite attacked people taking part in a sing-song. From Larne to far Killarney while useful. This came to happen in the following way: Men echo one another's prayer there was a meeting of left-orientated people in To round off with, everyone congregates in the Then fight within the faith they share? the Union Lower Refectory on Saturday afternoon afternoon' and results of the previous night's dis- and evening, and many of those present stayed cussion are compared (hence the necessity of "Our Father . . ." pray, "Thy will be done afterwards for a drink in the Lower Lounge. Know- seribes), with the speaker giving his point of view, Did Jesus ever use a gun? ing Soc. Sac's views, people in the bar decided he having; the advantage of knowing the questions "Give us this day our daily bread ..." to have a bit of fun by holding the Saturday night by the weekend. They've shot another human dead. sing-song in the Lower Lounge. This was a suc- "Deliver us from evil" . . . now People who have already been to a Touchstone cess, perhaps due to the better acoustics of the And end this God-forsaken row. weekend may have noticed that I have so far lounge, and a good time was had by all, until at avoided the subject of food. This is by no means eleven o'clock they retired to the bar for a final I dream that Jesus lives again because it is below par. Quite the contrary in fact. pinta. The sing-song continued there, until they And cries aloud for peace to reign! It cannot fail to satisfy, gourmets and gannets were chucked out, when it moved to the Quad. Then all of Ireland's risen slain alike, and even the water tastes nicer over there, Various songs were sung, and finally they sang Return and walk where they have lain, from the Institute for Transport Studies, Univer- the bar version of 'The Red Flag'. To dampen hate, extinguish pain, sity of Leeds, and the topic under examination At this, members of Soc. Soc, who felt that a With tears that fall with Irish rain. was "The Place of Cars to Society". Peter Hills song which had great significance to them was was very involved in the Buchanan Report and N» Racine-Jaques, 1973 being mocked, emerged from the Lounge equipped this didi, inevitably, enter his talk. Basically it con- with bottles, and attacked some of the singers. cern's, the problem of traffic in urban districts, and Seeing that an unequal fight, wth only, one possible various methods concerning this problem were outcome, was on the cards, some members of the "The Reign of Peace" was published in discussed. One of the most interesting ideas, I Rugby Club attempted to restore order by pulling thought, was the inclusion of a black box in every the magazine "Young Quaker" last year, apart those who were fighting. To do so, they car, and theoretically technology would enable had to hold one of their members, well known with the omission of the second stanza: this, device to register at a faster rate in city for his ability in a fight, to the floor. At this the. centres than in the country. With road tax based Advice has come our way, you see, person with whom he had been fighting kicked on this, it would hopefully, act as a restraint on him in the face. From those who chant the liturgy, car usage both because it would cost more to This made the singers realise that Soc. Soc. travel in city centres and also the driver would "The second stanza has to go," really wanted a fight, so they rapidly took them be constantly reminded of how much he is spend- God's censors whispered to us: "No, apart, and drove them out of the Quad. You may ing. i Rephrase it in another way, be pleased to hear that the person kicked in the face is all right, apart from, a broken tooth, and But don't offend the IRA." The first two of the questions involved the per- that the kicker received his just reward. sonal freedom of the individual to purchase and From our Theological Correspondent. JEMIMA PUDDLE-DUCK operate his own car, and to What extent should laws protect third parties, passengers, and drivers themselves. It it was generally agreed that indi- viduals should not be prevented from buying cars, How would your club/organisation like to be petition is to begin very shortly. though restraints should be laid down when the in a position to earn a great deal of money? Of Yours faithfully, safety or rights of others is concerned, i.e. pro- course it would, every club or organisation can A. NOTT. tect the innocent from the foolhardy, but not the always use extra cash. Nott & Priddy, foolhardy from themselves, as it is comparable We are promoting a nationwide competition Temple House, to things like ski-ing and mountain-climbing. Thus to launch a new automotive product. We require 43-48 New Street, seat belts should not be enforced though preven- the assistance of organised people, like yoursel- Birmingham. tion of drunken driving and speeding should. ves, to enable us to reach the public. Tel.: 021-6434577 Interested clubs will be asked to produce a For the third question it was decided that the team or teams of ticket sellers. No one team should STA POWER COMPETITION tax distribution for different modes of transport be of more than ten people. These teams can earn was not equitable or truly reflective of social \ Please complete the following a great deal of money by selling competition costs that each impose on the community, and tickets. The tickets cost 95p each, every ticket I using block capitals: | public transport should be competitive with pri- purchased brings a free sample of the product, vate transport with the intention of reducing traf- | Club/Organisation I and the prizes are really fantastic. fic congestion. This led to number four: that the The teams earn the cash for the club, or them- | Address I values associated with city centres should be selves, by receiving 20p from each ticket sold. conserved even if it restrains private car usage, This amounts to £2 from every 10 tickets sold I Tel No I in those centres. or £1000 when 5000 tickets have been sold. i Secretary/Organiser | There are further incentives such as cash prizes The last two questions were both technological, for the individual and team Who sell the most I Home Tel. No ! concerning a replacement for the automobile, and tickets nationwide. | I the threat of the continued exploitation of crude If your club/organisation is interested in earn- oil' to the natural ecosystem, though nobody seemed really qualified to answer these with much ing a great deal of money please complete the J Number of Teams attached form. accuracy. This club/organisation is interested in this' i It would be very much appreciated if you would | project. Please send complete details and| return the form as soon as possible as the com- G. J. K. | tickets. I Signature —j Page 4 FELIX December 11th, 1973 UGM-HORROR SHOCK EXPOSE A shock tactic was unveiled again deep voice, "quorum, already" made MI5, the Archbishop of Canterbury which has been the experience of at the UGM last Thursday when a him accept the challenge and declare and any other parties interested in dealing with the reformist SDLP "Jesus-freak" evangelist challenged the meeting Closed. the selling out of the working class. leaders in Ulster. the quorum during the grants debate. 'However, before Mr. Christ's pec- TEA-CUPS Claiming to be speaking against uliarly timed challenge (Mr. Christ NATIONALIST There was much discussion on the the substantive motion .which would is a director of "No-nail Crucifixes" He will cajole and threaten the meaning of the word solidarity, but have mandated Exec to publicise and Ltd., Kidderminster) a motion, hor- labour leaders in this country into Piers Corbyn (Red Weakly seller of hold meetings about the Grants Cam- ribly unrepresentative of the vast selling out every struggle of the work- 28 Jay Mews and revolutionary dilet- paign next term, Mr. J. Christknows- mass of sensible students, had de- ing class in the coming period. tante) expained "solidarity with the what (31) of 12 Angel Mews, clared IC's condemnation of the Shaping up very fast at the mom- miners" as meaning giving them cups Cloud-cuckooland, W10, threatened military coup in Chile and given an ent is the likelihood of a "nationalist" of tea and holding hands on picket enormous sum of money (believed to coalition government composed of to challenge the quorum at the end of lines, however "solidarity with the be about 0.3 per cent of the Union's the Tory party. Prentice, Jenkins. his speech. Chilean working class" clearly re- funds) to a committee for rescuing Shirley Williams and other Labour This tactic, which has remained in quires a different strategy, due to the ultra-marxist refugees and peasants Party right-wingers. cold storage since last term, has now tea getting cold after being sent from the junta's justified and proper been repainted blue and equipped 8,000 miles, namely the sending of A "red scare" will be made with torture, random execution and pau- with a shining new halo (25p avail- messages of support and the donation which to frighten the confused middle perisation programme. able from Evangelical Accessories of money, both to be intercepted by class into permitting the full scale Ltd., Mile End 'Road, haloes, sepul- An attempt to amend the motion the military junta—but it's the use of police and army suppression chres, jackboots and other Nazi relics, was made by Pete Lambert who thought that counts! of the working class. callers welcome). claimed that the policies of Allende, As this crisis deepens daily that is The idea of solidarity meaning the vista which is opening up befor» Calling himself "the voice of the which had led to the coup, were unity in action, with all sections of our eyes. silent majority", Mr. Christwbatabore identical to those of the Communist the working class brought into con- A vista of unemployment, poverty, had calculated the meeting to be in- Party in this country and that a con- flict with this Government over the police and army brutality that, as one quorate and therefore not represent- demnation of the idealist nature of questions of inflation and the defence Wall Street financier put it, "wiH ative of IC students. the so-called "peaceful road to of democratic rights, to remove the make the 30's seem like a summer "This in no way invalidates our socialism" was needed. Tories, was dismissed by these so- holiday". firm belief that any decision passed called revolutionaries as "correct" Unless, that is, the working class at a UGM quorate or not, is unrepre- SOLIDARITY and "the only way forward" and takes the power and establishes soci- sentative unless voted for by over This was spoken against by a Mr. therefore to be fought against, in the alism, a planned economy, and the half the registered students", he John Lane of the CPGB(S), one time interests of the bourgeoisie. systematic removal of poverty which continued. president of ICU, Who claimed that is concomitant with such an increase the vast majority of Students were He added: "in the unlikely event NO JOKE in the productive forces. of such a thing happening, we would not 'interested in the testing of the However this is no laughing matter, Chile isn't just a small "banana of course consider it unrepresenta- various theoretical roads to a solution for as the capitalist system enters a republic" thousands of miles away, tive of the mass of the student body of students' problems in practice. worldwide period of recession as it Chile is capitalism, Chile is inflation, in this country, etc., etc.". He claimed "solidarity" was what is today, hightened by the "oil crisis" Chile is here in this country. It's no was needed now and offered to start the building of a revolutionary party coincidence that the Telegraph talks THUNDERBOLTS an "Ad-hoc committee for the laying based on a firm bedrock of marxist about a "Chilean solution may have tm Despite Mr. Christknowsmymother- of wreaths on the tombs of dead principles becomes the paramount be found if the miners don't back andbeknowsherbloodywell's Chal- Stalinists". question for students, trade unionists down", when we have all the econ- lenge, Norm Sayles rallied valiantly This was amended by Mr. Jock and professional workers everywhere. omic problems here fast approaching for about 30 seconds, claiming that Veall (squatter, of no fixed abode) Whitelaw has been brought back Chilean standards that produced a challenge to the quorum does not who suggested the convening of a from Ireland to spearhead a series of Allende, that produced the junta and constitute a speech against, the sud- "Popular Front against popular front- Tory attacks and provocations on the will be our future unless we build the den crash of thunderbolts and the ism" and offered to send out invita- working class. Workers Revolutionary Party and the mysterious appearance of a flaming tions to H. Wilson, Len Murray, John He has been well trained in all the Young Socialist Student Society right bush on the stage whispering in a Gollan, T. Cliff, Gery Lawless of skills of military rule, not least of away. Editor.

one has been converted APOLOGY we will all be "good" Public debate and then, and only then, can the world's prob- challenge The Editor wishes to apologise for having sug- lems be solved. Mean- gested in last Thursday's UGM that three of the while such irritations as Sir, military leaders—President Allende of Chile, in- mass starvation, fascist vited into his cabinet shortly before the coup Christian-Marxists states and exploitation I, too, am fed up with are of minor importance later emerged as leaders of the military junta Avid followers of the this "religion" controv- and guerilla leader, Tor- compared to the burning which overthrew him. thrill-packed Felix theo- ersy which has filled res, who have sacrificed issue of making the next logical debate must find their freedom, comfort, In fact it was (only) two. But somehow I feel convert. I believe this space in your paper over it hard to believe that (in and even lives to fight that to make such a correction, in the interests of attitude is arrogant, ego- the past few weeks; and recent years) the main oppression. Throughout historical veracity, was not the motives behind tistical, anti-human and to end it I challenge Mr. trend in the relations be- its history "Christianity" the oalls of "liar! rubbish!" that sprang from selfish, in fact, surely, tween Marxists and has contained two reli- Veall to state his views the lips of arch-Stalinists John Lane and Renato a nti-Christian? Christians has been to- gions. One, usually the at a public debate on the Ezban on hearing the aforementioned inaccuracy. wards dialogue. dominant, has justified The question remains: matter. I am prepared to is Marxist humanism a 'Since Karl Marx's oppression and encour- organise and publicise famous "opium of the aged passivity, accept- better basis for human 1 such an event, at which people" phrase has been ance of one's place, do- advance than even the FOLK CLUB mentioned let us exam- gooding. The other has most progressive Christ- a fair indication of the ine it in context. inspired revolt. An ianity? interest of students will "Religious suffering is attack on all Christians That can only really be gained from the num- is, therefore, not very CEILIDH the expression of real be proved in practice, as ber who attend. Having smart. those many Christians suffering and at the made these contentious same t ime the protest who go beyond charit- I With Bob Davenport Unfortunately t h e claims, Mr. Veall should against real suffering. most vociferous spokes- able "first-aid" work in either defend them in Religion is the sigh of men for Christianity in society and try to fight jand Rakes the oppressed creature, IC belong to a third the root cause of poverty public or stop writing the heart of a heartless trend, the evangelists. and injustice, have real- these articles, as he is world, as it is the spirit ised. In conclusion, the {Wednesday, Dec. 12th Although hostile to the only hiding behind the of spiritless conditions. established Church, they incomprehen'ding theo- impersonality of the 17.30 p.m. Concert Hall It is the opium of the are if anything more re- logical battle in Felix is I people". actionary. The evangel- a waste of time. But if press. In any case, Felix Even this is only part ist believes he has found there are Christians in readers will have a rest. pilllllMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIHIIIIIINIIIIIIIIN IC who feel that a genu- of the picture. Angela God, that this makes If Mr. Veall is good Davis has pointed out him a better person, and ine Communis'tjChristian enough to contact me c/- that while Christianity that his life should be dialogue would be was used to justify slav- spent telling people how worthwhile, it's easy to we can discuss arrange- ery in the Southern to "turn on to Jesus". contact me, ments. States, to slave as well Eventually, when every- John Lane. A. N. Syrop. as master, it also in- spired the revolt of the slaves. A similar dicho- tomy has appeared in JEWSOC countless peasant revolts in Europe. And today, TUESDAY, llth DECEMBER 1973 the most respected Christians are surely ROOM 408, ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING those such as the Span- at 1 p.m. there will be a meeting with the Information Counsellor and a ish worker-priests or the Latin American priest talk about "Middle East — where next?" December 11th, 1973 FELIX Page 5

(Contd. from p. 6) RCC Transport Sub-committee 'But there are no tig- Televisions ers in these parts.' -change in driver selection 'That's right. Effect- ive, isn't it?' " . Most of the tales are and procedure longer than these, but the m i n d-b o g g I i n g punchlines are a feature (from 21st January 1974) of them all. Maybe it is Klepto- From 21st January, the existing list on 21st wise they will be pure madness, but it is 1974 R.C.C. Transport January 1974 and will subject to another a peculiar brand which will require: be placed on the new test fee (25p). has survived for nearly a (a) A £5.00 personal drivers list provided:— All new drivers will be deposit from all drivers, (a) They have a clean subject to conditions a, thousand years, and it maniacs driving licence, b and c above and in before inclusion on the covers a deep wisdom held for at least 2 addition pay the 25p test drivers list. (This re- and understanding. After Those of you who reg- a suitable colour T.V. duces the clubs liability years; fee. ularly raise yourselves (with video input capa- (b) They complete a all, would it still be so to £20.) If for any reason up to the first floor of the city for STOIC) without driving test satis- R.C.C. Transport are un- funny if it didn't? Union, to sample the de- a waiting list which ap- (b) Any accident or factorily. There will able to carry out (b) in lights of I.C.W.A. lounge pears to increase as time damage to the vehicles be no appeal A must for anyone the above conditions be- or Mooney dinner, may passes. In the meantime, results i n the drivers against test failure; pretending to a sense of fore 21st January, 1974 have noticed that in the a black and white set automatic removal from (c) They pay the £5.00 drivers will be provision- humour, but also a book T.V. room which con- will be there. When the the list and loss of his/ personal deposit, ally accepted on satisfy- tained, in days gone by, new colour set appears her deposit. for thinking over. Defin- which is returnable ing conditions (a) and honour boards and a col- the black and white set itely recommended. Drivers can appeal when they request (c) above. our television, nothing will go over to Southside against the above action withdrawal from CANDI. remains but the echoes to replace the present to R.C.C. Transport the list; New drivers applica- of "cock-a-leeky" and model. At certain times whose decision shall be (d) They re-apply be- tion forms will be avail- P.S. The "book" re- "Thumper". This miser- (Tuesdays and Fridays final. fore the end of the able from G. Causer viewed two weeks ag« able state of affairs has at 1 p.m. and 6 p.m.) All present drivers autumn term (Selkirk 488) or Pam, was "Fadeout" by J. been caused by a rather STOIC puts out pro- will be removed from (14/12/73) other- the Union receptionist. Hansen (Quartet 40p). puerile theft by Univer- grammes for l.C. stu- sity College and down- dents. These can be seen right lies or inefficiency by adjusting the new on the part of the T.V. televisions to the broad- Devalued Degrees? hire firm. The name- cast input position. boards have been re- We cannot be expected to hope for much out of Concert our degrees when: turned and should be If you see anyone hanging in the T.V. room walking out of the build- 1. —Size of technological and scientific projects by the time this article ing with a T.V. set please are constantly increasing, thus also increasing their appears. Unfortunately, stop them and tell secur- Review: dependence on economical and political decisions, British industry hasn't ity or the Deputy-Presi- yet been able to produce trade unions' decisions, supply or availability of dent, David Sinclair. land and resources, pressure groups' claims, inter- national relations, etc. and, while none of these factors look very promising, all of them are beyond the control of the scientist or engineer. Lindisfarne 2. —Jobs, salaries and compensations depend IT'S NOT TOO ever more on supply and demand, experience, bar- What a way to end up this term's series of con- gaining power (unions, national policies, etc.), certs. It was certainly the one I enjoyed the most. meeting the employers' demands (rather than the Beforehand I was unsure what to expect, having LATE TO TRY college's); and less on degrees, qualifications, col- heard so little of Lindisfarne since the departure lege's prestige, etc. of Alan Hull, who was a very important member, 3. —People increasingly lose their confidence in but they haven't changed much. They're still the "experts" (i.e., we), political parties, very large pro- A NEW SPORT! jects (from large buildings and roads to Maplins same manly Geordies that I remember from way and Concordes), sophisticated technology (e.g., back, with their famous Newky, which they even nuclear power, etc.). sang a song about. Indeed, if it wasn't for Lindis- or don't be lax 4. —Prices of fuel, land and resources in general farne, Newcastle Brown might never have reached are soaring up, plus "occasional" rationings, plus as far south as London. constantly decreasing expectations in fuel reserves, As for their,music, it is such that it has an in- plus more and more dependence on foreign coun- — play it! tries' supplies and demands, plus increased de- stantaneous and lasting impact. Their songs can pendence on supra national corporations, plus be just as enjoyable on the first hearing as they "occasional" strikes; which means less chances for are on the hundredth. The thing about Lindisfarne Perhaps you are fed nucleus of 2nd-year stu- our large scale, highly sophisticated, highly organ- is the extra something they put into the atmos- up with playing the same dents who had been in- ised and costly (in resources and money) science old sport that you have troduced to the game the and technology. phere, inducing audience participation with incal- always played, or you previous year. Not sur- culable ease. Even people like me, who belong, I 5. —Ever larger scale, centralised and more com- find that representing the prisingly the team now suppose, to the so-called "sit-down-and-be-cool" 'nth' football or rugby has several third-years plicated technology produces ever more pollution class, feel tempted to clap their hands in the air. team is a less than aus- in it, and the time has (directly or indirectly); depletion of resources; picious occasion ... or come to build a team drastic environmental changes; obsolescence of They did several of their newer compositions, perhaps you didn't join again for next year. objects, techniques and trained or skilled people; without forgetting the old favourites. They were misunderstandings, suspicion, mistrust and blind a club at the beginning So, what should you all there: "No Time to Lose", the ghost-song "Lady dependence from the majority of people; larger of the year and now wish do? scale upredicted side effects, etc. Elanour", (nicely changed from the original three- you had . . . Well, here's Meet under the Union year old version too), and "Fog on the Tyne", good news. Next term arch at 2 p.m. on the Why, then, is it not possible to dedicate some of there will be vacancies first Wednesday of next the time of our curricula (preferably the time taken the naughty verse of which they dedicated, "Since in the Imperial College term. The Club will pro- by exams!) to the justification, purpose and future we're in London", to Mark and Anne, and let the Lacrosse team. O.K., vide necessary equip- of our careers? On what grounds are we expected audience sing it several times. They finished their What is Lacrosse? ment and we will go into to accept the present ways of "education"?—'does scheduled set with "We Can Swing Together", a Hyde Park to give you our opinion count at all? Or does it only count Men's lacrosse should song with an interesting history, in which Ray an idea of the game. It When we say something "academic"? Or are we not be confused with doesn't matter if you expected to learn What is given to us without ques- Jackson still does his medley on harmonica, >§ women's lacross—the have never played before much neglected instrument nowadays, lasting quite helmets, vizors and pad- tioning and yet believe that we are not being some- and of course puts you ded leather gauntlets we how indoctrinated? some time and Without being boring. No mean under no obligation. We wear when playing are No doubt the quality of science is declining; no feat of endurance, when you can do that and still have league fixtures not for decoration—it's doubt there is disenchantment with technology; every Saturday and you have enough breath left to sing the final verse as a hard and fast-moving how can we be expected to be proud of a Ph.D., if could be playing for Im- well. game. Teams are ten-a- we don't know what Philosophy or real thinking perial College within a side and a small ball is means? If we don't know Why or for What we are For the encore they did yet another one from the few weeks. slung around the pitch learning? Are we expected to believe (like many "Nicely Out of Tune" album, "Clear White Light", which in layout and size If interested, just drop people do!) that geniuses can be produced like and finally "When the War is Over", a song with a note into one of the of goals is somewhat boxes of tissues? a lengthy very nice piano-vocal introduction. J following letter-racks— like an ice hockey pitch. Whatever the reasons for this state of things Union — A. J. Hallett It was quite a pleasant surprise to me to find We play London teams (tradition, the world, the government, capitalism, (captain); Zoology—P. and Oxford and Cam- etc.) it is necessary that we all look into all these that Claire Hammil was doing the support act, as Jepson, Zoology I; Phys- bridge Universities. questions as well as into what kind of education? I think she's got a lovely voice, and despite her ics—-L. J. Clarke, Phys- For whom? When? How? By Whom? After all, what recent attack of laryngitis (well that's what she Why vacancies now? ics III. is education? If we can't answer this one clearly, said), she sang some nice gentle songs, though 1 The Imperial lacrosse We will be happy tc Why bother with exams? team had its most suc- answer any questions thought she fairly crucified the Walker Brothers" cessful season last year about the activities of Merry Exams and Happy New Term. "You've Lost that Loving Feeling". when it was based on a the club. J. Aguirre, Civ. Eng. 310. G.J.K. Page 6 FELIX Decembei 11th, 1973

Digby the biggest dog Mermaid Theatre Company REVIEWS in the world PLAY FILM

There we were last and Andy Roberts. Neil One of this year's Christmas presents to child- Sunday week huddled in is an unrecognised him the way it was in self, fuck you", he was ren from Odeons throughout the country will be our seats, the stage was genius, he can play his tended is totally capti- replaced by the man who Digby the Biggest Dog in the World" (Cert. U) in pitch black. The red guitar very competently vating. On a couple of put the word Die in The film stars "Dulux" as Digby, Jim Dale as Jeff lights from eager ampli- and his various key- occasions the poems Dictionary —The Mask- Eldon, Spike Milligan as the German Dr. Harz, fiers pierced the gloomy boards superbly; he can were read over suitable ed Poet. On leapt Gor- Angela Douglas as an attractive widow, Janine, blackness, dark shadows write and act in a totally musical backgrounds, man in a pseudo Batman Richard Beaumont as her son Billy, Milo O'Shea moved solemnly about original way. Who could McGough's "Vampire" —Dart outfit and pro- and Dinsdale Landen. as the opening strains of resist him as he sat all and Patten's "Prophet" ceeded to spout a mass Jeff is employed as an animal psychologist at "Pinball Wizard" cried alone on stage, playing for example, and it of obscene poetry (?). secret research centre, which is working on out into the merciless piano whilst he sang the worked so very well that He also enlisted the help project 'X' — a new drug that can grow twenty air. It soared and surged, title song from his latest one wonders just why of some young ladies five feet long cucumbers. Jeff steals some of the to its inevitable climax solo album "How sweet Grimms is the only from the audience and new chemical and takes it home to give to his and we awaited the mas- to be an idiot". Andy music-poetry group to after grappling with roses, hoping they will win him a prize at the sive bass notes, it drew Roberts is a virtuoso come to public notice. them burst into song Chelsea Flower Show. There he discovers Digby closer and closer and acoustic and electric But as well as the with the rest of the band. given to him by Billy as his grandfather would finally — KER SPLUNG! guitar player, together music and the poetry, The backing (musi- not allow him to keep it. Jadine arrives and gives "... Welcome to the with Neil and Zoot there is the comedy and cally) was provided by Digby the secret drug, believing it to be milk. show, folks, welcome to Money he holds the mu- here John Gorman, a Gerry Conway (drums), Billy comes back the next day to collect Digby the show. We hope that sical side of the act to- natural comedian if ever David Richards (bass) as his grandfather has changed his mind. Digby we will all be friends be- gether and writes some there was one, comes to and John Megginson on has already started to grow and so Jeff tells him he fore it's time to go". amazingly good music the fore. They have re- piano, and they worked has given the dog away and is then made to eat There stood the nine that would easily stand tained P.C. Plod, who is superbly well with the the tin of PAL in his hand claiming it to be his members of Grimms up on its own in a pure no longer worried about other six present. As I dinner. Dr. Harz observes this and is now con- adorned in clown hats rock context. The W.P.C. Hodges, but is left clutching the vinced that Jeff thinks he is a dog. and ruffs and we knew rockin'. 'n' hopin' Zoot more concerned with Grimms T-shirt I had As Digby grows, Jeff decides to take him to his we were in for a rare Money was surprisingly mind-reading acts and bought before and the Aunt Ina in the country and dresses him as a treat — we were indeed. sudued in the first half telling us about "a album covers I had care- horse. Two crooks, Tom and Jerry (Norman Ros Grimms really defy des- of the show, but treated policeman's lot". The fully ripped off the dis- ngton and John Bluthal), who have accidentally cription. You could call us to some tasty toons sketches, in which Gor- play stands after the stumbled across Digby now steal him while Jeff them a rock band, a in the second half and is man was invariably in- concert, it suddenly oc- is having a meal in a transport cafe (a very funny group of poets, a set of also a very visual per- volved, covered an ob- curred to me that Mike scene) and sell him to a circus. Digby is seen on clowns or comedians; former when he gets scure play, three priests, McGear hadn't . been the television, and Jeff and Billy set out to rescue you could, but to do so going. As well as the "Bugger me, d'ya know there. If they put on a him at the circus. The Ringmaster is not too happy would be inaccurate. music, there's the poetry What it sez 'ere, it sez show like that for 2\ about Digby, now fifty feet tall ("If he lifts his They are all this and and no one can doubt that in three days he cre- hours without one of leg, he'll drown fifty kids"). Digby breaks out of more, they are an atmo- Roger McGough's tal- ated the 'eaven and the their major stars, and his chains, pulls the big top down as people flee sphere, a feeling, a ray ents in this field. His earth", a hilarious ver- leave us stunned with a and starts rampaging through the countryside ter of hope in this God-for- works are a delight to sion of Deck of Cards. vaudeville acoustic num- rorising all. listen to, the short cryp- saken planet we call "When I see the knave I ber and 8-foot Innes' No one can cope with him now, he's bigger tic remarks, the delibe- home. think of Nixon and won- "Humanized Boogie" as than King Kong, a National Emergency faces the rately corny puns, the Grimms are entertain- der why he doesn't jack a double encore and the country, a Cabinet meeting is held and it is de- word plays and long love ing, now that's a word it in", "When I see the audience still want more, cided that the only answer is to bomb Digby. With stories all read out in his you can't use about 10, I think of No. 10 then it becomes obvious Digby trapped in a ravine the bombers move in. very sophisticated man- many groups. They are Downing Street, when I how brilliant they are, The film is directed by Joseph McGrath and ner, it's sheer poetry. If pure, complete and abso- see the Joker I think so why do they keep ap- produced by Walter Shenson. I felt that the specia" you like Brian Patten's lute entertainment, never of the man who lives in pearing at the grotty effects were quite well done and the film is full very individualistic style predictable, never ever . . . Although I missed little Central Poly in- of laughs. If you are taking young children, par of writing and voice then boring and absolutely a Gorman's interpretation stead of our huge, capa- ticularly very young children to the cinema thi; his poetry, although very joy to watch. On the of the roadie. Flash, city-filled Great Hall, Christmas, or recommending a film, or if you imaginative and hard to musical side the hon- "Fuekin' hell, move the Mr. Ents Chairman? would like to see a film without sex and violence understand, as read by ours go to Neil Innes fuckin' thing yer fuckin' JEREMY BARKER then Digby is an ideal film. The film is now showing at Studio One, Oxford Circus, and will be on general release in time for Christmas. About two years ago nual income of up to HARRY HILL a group of IC students £2,000 could be gene- felt that they had heard Taking the T rated with a minimum of enough of the problems segregation. Talks con- The exploits of the of pollution, resource de- tinued for well over a pletion and population year until finally, last Incomparable growth to be convinced month, ' the College that these are real. With- out of re'f'use agreed to take over the Mwlla Nasrndin out denying the need for whole scheme (cutting by Idries Shah further discussions, poli- Heads of Departments, Phone books, journals, out RICB, of course). To tical action and so on, etc., was based on the etc. give them a start, the Picador 40p this group decided to provision of boxes in all 2\ tons worth approx. group presented the Col- provide a series of acti- departments into which £20. lege with 3 tons of com- vities which would en- anyone could discard Note that these prices puter waste which was able members to involve unwanted print-out and are roughly those paid recently sold for over BOOK themselves in imple- cards. These boxes were by paper dealers if they £70. menting some of tneir emptied periodically and collect from source; if The full implementa- One of the basic tenets of the Muslim religion ideas both to demon- the paper stored in a the paper is delivered to tion of the scheme is de- is that there is no absolute reality but God, but strate their own convic- small room kindly pro- the dealers, the prices pendent on Westminster the only doctrine to take this to its logical conclu- tions and to bring these vided for the purpose by are significantly higher. Council's installation of sion is Sufism. In his book, "The Sufis", Idries ideas to the attention of the Domestic Bursar. There is also a related a general waste com- Shah has introduced the Dervishes and their philo- others. Tnese activities When a suitable quan- saving to the community pressor — a Dumpster sophy: the central figure in a series of medieval tity (about 1 to 2 tons) as the London rate-payer have been numerous and in Mech. Eng., similar to jokes used to illustrate the teachings of Sufism had been thus accumu- has to pay £6 to £10 for widespread, but the that at present operating was Mulla Nasrudin. dated, it was removed the collection and dis- iongest - standing has in South Side. Once In this series of tales, Nasrudin takes the part by a charity — Re- posal of every ton of re- been the "Computer this is done, the small of teacher, fool, beggar or physician, yet always reach into Child Blind- fuse. Paper Re-cycling Cam- brick building in the manages to exhibit the aerobatic contortions to ness — which specia- The long-term aim of paign". The waste of East Court can be used which the human mind is prone. On this level, lises in fund-raising by the campaign was to tons of computer print- as a paper store. There then, this is a serious book, but on another plane selling computer waste demonstrate to the Col- out has struck many may also be problems it is also wholly and hilariously funny. Here is for re-cycling. During lege authorities the fi- with NUPE to be ironed activist groups in other the home ground of the Goons and Monty Python, nearly two years of ope- nancial viability of the out. In the meantime, colleges as worthy of and the origin of many chestnuts of the Music ration, the group collect- scheme and to this end anyone with a large Hall: . en. on, but no other ed about 35 tons of a detailed report was quantity of easily "Nasrudins' wife ran to his room when she college can claim, as far paper in the following submitted to trie Rector, handled paper waste a -e know, anything ap- categories: the Secretary and the Fi- should inform Mr. Brack- heard a tremendous thump. .roacning the success nancial Secretary in May ing of Supplies — Int. Nothing to worry about,' said the Mulla, 'it was achieved by IC Eco- computer print-out 1972. This report, not- 3206. only my cloak which fell to the ground'. .ct.on. .25}- tons wcth approx. ing that College em- 'What, and made a noise like that?' The campaign, launch- £510 ployees have already MARK BALDWIN 'Yes, I was inside it at the time.' ". ed in January 1972 after computer cards to move refuse from "Nasrudin was throwing handfuls of crumbs on behalf of IC 7 tons wortl'i approx. source to collection around his house. leg: Administration £210 po.nt showed than an an- Eco-Action 'What are you doing?' someone asked him. 'Keeping the tigers away'. ( cont. page 5" [

December 11th, 1973 FELIX Page 7

EDITORIAL Is the sporting reputation of l.C. in jeopardy? A week last Saturday, training had been going What is the cause of the decreasing number of students participating in sporting activities? Is it l.C. Cross-Country Club on. a decline in interest which has reduced the num- The W-nkers team took on the might of CROSS-COUNTRY ber of football teams from 7 or 8 to a mere 5 this L.S.E. at Petersham. fully lived up to its season. Perhaps the present employment situa- This should have been OFF TO THE BOLTONS name, with Dave Payne tion is pressurising students into getting the best a triangular match, but not quite recovered from degree, increasing the work load and reducing leisure time? Or could it be the lack of money, Sandhurst couldn't make In fact, only three PA's non Cross-Country acti- it. P. Artist (Pad), Dave which we are hearing so much about, preventing it, having cocked-up stayed the course till vities. We could soon Howlbrooke and Andy sportsmen joining in the social as well as sporting their fixture list. Our 10 chucking out time — be back to the halcyon Fairhead. This was not a activities of the clubs. What can be done to im- runners narrowly lost to Mike, Ian, I and Keith days of last season. performance of merit. prove the situation, to encourage hidden talent to their 11, although L.S.E. (nearly), the"latter being Dave J. was working After the race, a rapid come forward and enjoy the not to be missed did field an illegal run- a permanent fixture in hard (so he can become adjournment was made cameraderie of l.C. sports clubs. Perhaps if clubs were to use the facility of the Felix sports ner, so we won really. the Bar. Dr. Spock instead of to the Queens, reached 20 minutes before open- page to publicise their activities, interest may be plain Mr. Spock). First home for l.C. Dave Payne was on a ing time, and then on to aroused, by students being shown that clubs not was Rob Allinson in dirty weekend in the Rob Allinson did an- the Union. When the only exist, but in fact do have some fixtures! It is the duty of every captain to see that his club third place in a scorch- Midlands, so he can't other superman run meeting finally dis- persed, Alf hadn't been uses its rightful space in Felix to the full, so ing personal best of 28m get a mention for this (quote, "My valuables for one and a half hours submit your articles by Wednesday night to the 5Ts, followed by Ian one. The gimp was also are in- my trousers"), and Mike (ACC II) Wel- Sports Ed. c/o Union letter rack. absent, undoubtedly "Sailor" Ellis in 30m doing the three-mile ford was still going BOB B. 12s (you know what they getting on someone course in 15m 27s. The strong (it's the tankard say about people who else's wick. course itself was as flat that makes you excel . . . wear purple). Our last On Sunday the team as a witch's tit, which uuuh.). Visits were then paid to Keith and Pad, FLOGGING three runners, Keith played C.W. Eng. I at perhaps accounts for who wasn't in. We had "they didn't see me football, losing out 1-0 Paul "Granny" Clarke thought of going to see WINTER TERM REVIEW meat, did they?" Ahlers, (unlucky, Pad). Dave doing 16m 40s (sniff). the gimp, but decided he There can be few more nostalgic experiences P. Donnelly, Esq. and Jones kept a tight grip The rest of the first team might not like his sink available to mankind than looking back over a Dave Jones (from the on the opposition, parti- was Phil MEE-ler and p-ssed in. term's golf. Cynics might say "Rubbish!" and not be far wrong, but how can one counter such abso- hub of the West, Hem- cularly their female Jock Strap, who really The League results lutes as "a birdie at the long ninth" or "a ten and mersmiff), finished to- winger. put the balls on it by have now been correct- 8 victory" without every fibre in the body stiffening gether, well down the allowing L.S.E. to beat ed again — the finders On Wednesday we in supreme exhilaration. Non-golfers usually of any more mistakes field. ran the Osterley Park re- us. refer to "Love" as the ultimate absolute, but will be rewarded with a those well versed in the "rub of the green" merely The Union Bar then lay in surprise, surprise, The second team was boot up the arse (keep use this as something to fall back on when their witnessed the unbeliev- "Osterley Park, Five "Ankle" Webb, Ashley searching Ronald). swing fades. Indeed it is worth a moment's able Pad REFUSING a This week's motto: A teams had been entered, Cooper, H. Artist and thought to think how different man's outlook on free pint (flaker) and the but only three could be Mike Welford. Steve did dehydrated man can't life might have been had Jesus been born at add. Happy Christmas, equally unbelievable one raised due to injuries, a very fast time, sug- Royal Mid-Surrey instead of Bethlehem and been and don't get too pissed! of Ian buying a round. many being caused by gesting some secret given "golf CIUDS, membership card and talent" U. B. CONSORTIUM by the "three wise men" instead of the other IC 0, KINGS 2 son (capt.), M. Clark. things. However, that's Christmas, and not the l.C. travelled to Col- main theme of this article. liers Wood last Satur- FOOTBALL IC III 5, CHELSEA II 0 This article is dedicated to those fine warriors day to play King's Col- The third team played of I.C.G.S. Who trudge the noble road to Richmond lege in the First Round SLIP DP IN CUP SHOCKER Chelsea II also at Collies week after week. Many have yet to appear in a of the ULU Cup, which Wood and won very match line-up and so have not been pulled down l.C. were confident of lington, the second team we have won for the past easily by five goals to by the glittering hand of publicity. For them it is winning as the King's gained revenge by beat- three years. The game nil despite being held to the mysterious lure of the game which draws them team were tiring badly. ing Kings II by 4-1 in the was played under arctic no score at half time. to their fate. With five minutes to go Upper Reserves Cup. conditions on a rock Tony Richards scored a A review of the term would not be complete l.C. pushed all their men Kings adapted better to hard pitch. brilliant hat-trick and without mentioning our record so far: up to force a goal. A. the tricky conditions, but University College lost A\ -14 John Button and Paul 1 After five minutes 2 Batesie blockbuster hit were denied any reward Singleton also scored. Barts Hospital won 4^—11 Stevie Bates was injured a King's defender and by I.C.'s solid defence. Team: G. Edwards, C. Kingston Poly won 4ix.- .11 in a collision with the flew up the pitch to a 1 2 Bill Pike opened the Anastasia, R. Perrit, J. The reports on these matches have appeared King's left-back, which lone King's player, and scoring, following up a Hey, A. Jackson, K. in previous editions, so I shall not trouble you slowed him down for the from this breakaway Martin Clark shot. Short- Alamouti, J. Button, C. with a blow-by-blow account except to say that rest of the game. This Kings scored a lucky ly afterwards Kings Sanku, T. Richards, P. the team has improved markedly with each was shortly followed by goal. equalised with a soft Singleton, A. (Beer Gut) match and is now extremely formidable. injuries to Ron (V.P.) goal (Oh what a give- Now with nothing to Williams. The hard work put in by the committee also Kill and Bob Day. Bob away!). However, the lose, l.C. attacked with is notable. Bill Calderwood (vice-captain) has put bravely carried on, but King's goalkeeper was every man and from an- IC V 5, LSE III 1 in hours of toil scouting for good players as well l.C. were forced to sub- let down by his defence other breakaway King's The Fifth team playing as performing his major task of being the first stitute him ten minutes and Bill Pike scored two scored in the last min- against L.S.E. Ill sur- team superstar. Jules Dan has taken on the one- later and brought on more goals before half- ute to make it 2-0. On vived a lot of first half rous task of secretary with the zest that Barry Paul Worthington. King's time, including a a day when the defence pressure and led one-nil Mackenzie might describe as "of an abbo tucking had the better of the 'Sammy Nelson Special' had played well, I.C.'s at half time through a into his first furburger". Adrian Evans has first half, but no goals from thirty yards. I.C. attack was just not good brilliant own goal. In the also added his contribution to the society as were scored. The refe- played badly at the start enough. second half, they got on treasurer. His tough bargaining technique has led ree gave several unusual of the second half and After the game, dis- top, and despite the re- to the Union treasury considering our club more decisions completly baff- were only saved by the appointed captain Bel! feree ran out easily 5-1 equal than others, just as his excellent diplomacy ling the l.C. team. courage of Andy Roberts blamed it "all on the winners with goals from has made him a man marked for success. In the second half in goal who made two ref". Never mind, Ian, Mike Butterworth, Colin Finally, I have been asked how these society I.C.'s re-shuffled team magnificent saves. I.C. there's still a job for you Higham, Pete Bintlift reports come about. It's simple. Nigel Foster began to settle down and then took over the game at Brighton. and the lone Ranger. writes it, Jules Dan reads it, Bill Calderwood their strength began to completely and due to Team: N. Bakewell, R. (Ed. bad ref again?!). changes it, and Adrian Evans pays for it. tell. The King's goal the fine Kings goalkeep- Kill, A. Wilkinson, I. Team: R. Colston, S. NIGEL FOSTER was under a state of Postlethwaite, D. Cash, er could not score more Parsons, R. Hunter, J. siege, but despite con- S. Bates, I. Bell (capt.), than the single half goal Davies, M. Selwyn, M. stant pressure, l.C. failed J. Kelly, M. Hastings, S. from Geoff Gilbert. Butterworth (capt.), C. to create many chances. Anastasi, D. Sanderson, Team: A. Roberts, R. Higham, P. Birch, P. CABER-TOSSING The two best Chances Sub. P. Worthington. Young, M. Manning, D. Bintlift, T. Ranger, S. i fell to Batesie and Ian Ansell, D. Purvis, L. Hancock, Sub. I. Lonnon. Following the success of our team against Bell, but both shot wide. IC II 4, KINGS II 1 Hyslop, G. Gilbert, J. PETE DAVIS and the Caledonian Club of U.C. where we thrashed As extra-time drew near Meanwhile, at Har- Miles, B. Pike, A. Peter- ALAN PETERSON them 14-1 last Saturday, we turned our attention to more manly opposition. After a fine perform- Throughout the sec- It was with high expectations that we went t» ance against Wasps ond half l.C. were Com- Neasden football ground to challenge Willesden Vandals the Saturday be- RUGBY pletely outplayed by a and District Freemasons to the sport of men. fore, the l.C. team had much more enthusiastic We took the field first, and Angus McFarland, no worries when they U.C. team and deserved- using his special steel tipped projectocaber, man- learned that they were I.C. GO DOWN AT U.C. ly lost by the frighten- aged a magnificent 560 yards to skewer the roof to play U.C. on Satur- in the first ten minutes. Alan Crossley converted ing margin of 25-12. of the changing rooms, in which the opposition day, December 1st. Only the incompetence by Dave Rimmer. Dave This was the first match were cringing. No one was hurt (much). Having arrived on the of the U.C. backs saved also scored two penalty lost by l.C. to a college Despite young brawny Alec McCawley's ex- pitch with their usual l.C. However, after let- goals in the first half. team for 2\ years and cellent throw of 340 yards, unfortunately, how- apathetic attitude, l.C. ting in a gift try, l.C. be- The score at half time ended a run of seven ever backwards, we won 6-0 due to the opposi- were lucky not to have 2 gan to play very well, was 12-6 in favour of successive wins against tion retiring with multiple hernias. tries scored against them scoring a try through i.e. .;, ._ , ' — U.C. » -HAMISH McPSEUDONYMITABLE Page 8 FELIX December 11th, 1973

not rows of paid musicians; in the background the dreamer quietly plays, Byron walks up the staircase VACANCY DRAMSOC to the Terra Incognita, "someone stop him, warn him of the desert", Byron is undaunted, he knows The post of sabbatical editor of FELIX will be- what he is doing, he walks out of Camino Real come vacant starting at the end of this term. CAMINO REAL BY and is gone. What of those that remain, they have Hold everything! Before you all reach for the all paid the price of admission — DESPERATION. application forms, let me tell you that it might Those with cash in the Siete Mares, those without not exist next term, dependent on last night's TENNESSEE either in the "Ritz—Men Only" or on the streets. Council decisions. The set of the entire play is simple, but effective, FELIX has been in deep financial water since WILLIAMS realistic. The Siete Mares, where the rich re- half term, due to a peculiar side-effect of the eco- side on the right, the pawnbrokers and"Pity—Men nomic crises which has made firms change their Only" on the left. minds about advertising in London student news- Beit Theatre (Union Concert papers (except Sennet). Paragraph eight on the Camino Real review — They all used to get their ads from one brokers it is Fiesta time, join in the fun, tonight the rising company which has since packed in all contracts Hall) 5th to 8th December. moon will turn Esmeralda, the Gypsy's daughter, with London student newspapers as even they into a virgin, and a chosen hero will be found. Prince Consort Road was filled with cars and can't get ads. Kiiroy hocks his golden gloves to finance an ex- 50-seater coaches, crowds milled in the streets, Before Mines Newsletter pipe up with stories of pedition across the desert and away. Casanova their unrivalled financial acumen in extorting a it is Friday night and Dramsoc are about to per- wears his crown of horns, oblivious to the crowd's couple of quid's worth of ads per fortnight off form "Camino Real". taunts. Hail Esmeralda, the virgin, she chooses local traders, may il state that FELIX needs over Paragraph one on the Camino Real review — Kiiroy as her hero, he is torn between escape £50 per week worth of advertising to avert large and the temptations of the Gypsy's daughter, temp- lights down, enter Don Quixote and Sancho Panza injections of Union capital. tation wins, longer interval. from the back of the hall. We notice the stage has Coupled with this drop in advertising revenue Paragraph nine on the Camino Real review — a large extension, black cloth covers the raised has been soaring newsprint costs which I feel "Let's get down to the bar before everyone else"— makes the present format of FELIX (8-page portions and the characters enter and exit via "Want a chocolate or a barley sugar, dear?" "Now weekly) no longer feasible. these cioths. Obviously this is to be no ordinary I'm beginning to understand it, the Camino Real Anyone interested in helping with whatever play, the audience is here to get involved, not is obviously that stage in a person's life when media project Council decide to back to dissemi- he (or she) has to face the agonising reality merely spectate. Don Quixote enters the Camino nate news, spews and reviews round the College of growing old. If one can accept this then they Real, his companion Sancho runs back to La should contact Norm Sayles or Paul Wadsworth can cross the Terra Incognita with no problems. Mancha, Quixote sleeps .... in the Union office, either now or straight away Casanova's whole life is centred around his viri- next term. Paragraph two on the Camino Real review — lity and as this declines with his increasing age he In case anyone's wondering why I'm jacking in cannot come to terms with it and so is stranded an ageing gentleman in white suit and pink bow the student editor scene, the answer can be de- on Camino Real. Similarly, Kilroys' whole life tie, a Mr. Gutman, announces Black 1 on the duced from the statement"£400 grant for my third was his boxing career, when his heart grew weak, Camino Real, he is to be our narrator, an overseer, year next year and no parental contribution avail- and the medics wouldn't O.K. him for any more able". someone of some importance. But let us consider fights he too couldn't face his fate, couldn't face the action, the plot? A survivor crawls from the old age, so he too remains on Camino Real. Lord Ergo elk Python dixit. Anyway, before any more Latin quotations crop desert on to the plaza, he turns towards the Siete Byron, however, once he has accepted the minor up which have to be taken cum grano salis as they Mares, despite advice to the contrary. A loud points of old age, is able to return to his poetry and can continue writing as long as he likes, so say, this has been a really great term editing FELIX shot rings out and the desperate man falls to the he can blithely walk out of the place. Marguerite and I'm sorry that it has to end in such a fiducial ground, crawling over the dried-up fountain. dwells too much on her past to be able to escape conflagration, but I have no doubt that that scrotty Jacques Casanova is appalled by these events, no matter how much she wants to" — "We'd moggy will re-appear again next term, although in there is nothing he can do. Gutman is now on better get back now, it'll be starting again soon". a different hat, no doubt. Especial thanks are due to Dave, Simine and the phone to his superior, describing the scene, Paragraph ten on the Camino Real review — Graham for mind-stunning layouts, scores of noms- the Gypsy fills in the chosen hero forms for Kiiroy a blind girl and a guitar-toting dreamer assist the de^plume and real people for articles, reviews and and Nursie brings in Esmeralda. She stretches survivor, but not for long. "The survivor is no Ron Appleby's cartoon, the CP, IS, IMG for acute seductively on the couch, two small coiled green longer surviving". attacks of Weimar memorial nausea, God squad snakes guarding her breasts. Kiiroy is too wor- Paragraph three on the Camino Real review— without which I might have an extra rib, Paul Gee ried about the Gypsy's news that he is next on the 'Kiiroy is coming", written in chalk on the wall, for preferring typing courses to barricades, Sca- street cleaners list to concentrate on the Job at enter an ex-boxer born and bred in Texas, Yes sir, ramanga for not giving my secret away, Norm, hand. He spends a long time impressing Esme- "Kiiroy is here". His heart, the size of a baby's Paul and Dave for being better than the devils ralda with his sincerity and is finally allowed head, has grown weak and a pair of golden boxing you don't know, Bob Barley for sports editorial to lift her veil. He is thrown out by the Gypsy gloves draped round his neck remain as a reminder of the term, Bob Milsom for first-class couriering and lands on .... of his glorious past. His wallet is stolen by street and enviable patience and last but not least Jen vagrants. In typical American style he stands his Paragraph eleven on the Camino Real review— for 1,001 things a day. ALI. ground, confronts Mr. Gutman, who offers him a Kiiroy is on the plaza, Gutman assists Casanova's job as a "Patsy" — a clown. Kiiroy tries to escape exit from the Siete Mares. Kilroy's heart is too his fate, he is caught and forced to wear the weak to carry the befriended Casanova's bag into CROSS-COUNTRY clown's mask, the flashing nose. its new home, the RITZ—Men Only. Kiiroy de- cides to sleep out under the stars, he is joined by Seriously though (see 23), the rest of the team Paragraph four on the Camino Real review — elsewhere), the X-Coun- finished with a more remember the survivor, he is carried off in a dust- Marguerite and when the street cleaners approach he is ready for them. But his resistance is too try Club saw its finest than usual packing inthe bin by "The Streetcleaners", the same fate befalls hour (so far) at the UL middle; Paul Clarke 31st the Baron de Charlus upon his demise, is there any weak, all in vain. Paragraph twelve on the Camino Real review— Championships this Sa- (31m 43), Phil Meyler escape from this .... this place? Oh yes, across turday past. Despite the and Steve Webb 34 and the desert, the nothing, nothing and more nothing, Kilroy's body is being investigated by a dissection class, the instructor removes the heart, a golden loss of no less than five 35th (32m 27/8), Dave to the snow-covered mountains on the horizon. of our more prominent West 40th, Rich Harring- Kiiroy is clown, end of Black 6, interval. one the size of a baby's head, Kiiroy grabs his heart from the instructor and in trying to convince stars by injury, our tra- ton 44, Dave Jones 47, Paragraph five on the Camino Real review— ditional placing of fourth Mike Welford 50, Dave "It's not so much a play as a state of mind" — the sleeping Esmeralda he is more than a tom- cat, pawns his heart for a collection of cheap (just outside the medals) Payne 53, Pad Donnelly It's very impressive, isn't it"—Look, darling, it was once again achiev- 60th and Pete Johnson, says in the programme that everyone reaches the stones and furs to impress the sleeping Gypsy daughter. He falls to the dry fountain, broken, ed. Even the bitterly cold with injured leg, 61st. Camino Real at some stage in their life, we leave wind could not staunch Having said we were the illusions of youth behind and each has to face screwed, robbed, desolate, a wreck .... Don Quixote awakes and washes his face, cleans his the enthusiasm of the 4th, we were also 5th the Terra Incognita (the desert) of age in your own dozen of us who ran, (the second team) in way" — "I don't get it" — "What's it all about?" teeth in the fresh clean water of the fountain. The crowd of vagrants are stunned, they leap upon though those whose front of LSE B (again), — "What does it mean?" — MEAN? MEAN? ability naturally befits Six teams finished, WHAT DOES IT MEAN? The fools, do they think the fountain as Kiiroy and Quixote climb the stair- case together, towards the Terra Incognita. them (except Dave many started. An ex- they've come to see "Coronation Street"? Payne) for a place at the (1957? vintage) captain Paragraph thirteen on the Camino Real review— Paragraph six on the Camino Real review—The back had to finish in a of ICCCC was also run- credits: The production and direction of Denys great lover, Jacques Casanova, is talking with the blizzard of hail: the pro- ning. Bennett was as immaculate as "The Crucible" fair Marguerite, she still dwells on the anguish position that cross coun- To counteract the ef- and the general standard of acting really excellent. of the coming of her menopause, "it's always a try is more fun in these feet of the football Although not perfect, it is impossible to fault the white flower now, never a pink". Casanova's conditions was not well matches, Rob is prepar- production, a very difficult play indeed to perform, thoughts are on love and resting on the Camino received, especially by ing Christmas Training one which was tackled in a very adventurous and Real, Marguerite's are on escape. Suddenly, there the two injured lans who Schedules; the effect of professional manner. The props, costumes and in the sky, that noise, getting louder, it's the un- were timekeeping on top these will no doubt be scenery were very realistic and convincing. The scheduled flight, the Fugitivo! Chaos, people run- of the hill. observed next term. only really outstanding individual performance was ning, shouting, cases, tickets, money, papers, Cus- Once again led by DJ that of Pat Gorman as Kiiroy, although Steve toms, "quick Jacques, get my money, my clothes, Rob Alinson, 18th in 30m (unlike others not hum- Grove (Gutman) Mike Stranger (Casanova), Penny my papers — let me get out — the FUGITIVO!"— 11 for the 5 miles and ming). Pyke (Marguerite) and Carina Standing (Gypsy), hurry, more chaos, noise, people running, Lord Neil Boag (25th, 31m Mulligan carted off by the street cleaners, more not forgetting Sheila Hughes (her daughter) sup- people running, the noise, the lights, the Fugitivo ported very well. The play was perhaps too sur- leaves. Marguerite is left on the steps stranded, realistic for some people to enjoy on the super- «in tears, trapped. She no longer wants Jacques ficial level, but choreography (by Madeline Casanova, she leaves him. Claque) and superb lighting (by Alec MacAndrew) Paragraph seven on the Camino Real review — enhanced the entire production to such a degree Lord Byron leaves the Siete Mares to return to his that everyone must have got something out of it. ene main devotion in life .... to ... .? What is It's a play to think about, to interpret in your own his one main devotion? Byron explains how his way to work out for yourself; consider your own heart is in the only instrument he should listen to. situation, draw your own conclusions, write your own review. "The curtain line has been said, so lower it". Amen. Felix is published by the Editor for and on behalf of the the end of first lap—Steve Webb about to pass Imperial College Union Publications Board and is printed by these two. F. Bailey and Son Ltd., Dursley, Glos. GL11 4BL. JEREMY BARKER NOW IS THE TIME FOR AN INTELLIGENT WHAT WE OFFER Please let me have further details of how LOOK AT YOUR FINANCIAL FUTURE. Our service and independent advice on all SGI helps the Student & Graduate. As a Student you have at least one thing in com- financial matters are completely free of charge I understand this information is free of mon with almost all other Students. and/or obligation. charge & without obligation

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