Life’s Mystery Life’s Hope

Poetry by Arthur Freeman, Bethlehem, PA

Content: Introduction ...... 2 Life’s Welcome...... 5 Come Now Life...... 5 Life Is...... 5 There Are Moments ...... 6 Come to the Edge...... 7 Death, I See Your Smile ...... 7 Where Life Goes ...... 7 Laughter ...... 8 The Human Mystery ...... 9 And So I'm Here...... 9 The World Within ...... 10 When I Look ...... 10 When we Look Into Each Other’s Eyes...... 12 Poetry on Biblical Passages...... 12 Scripture...... 12 Birth of the Wor(l)d John 1:1-18...... 13 The Resurrection of Lazarus ...... 13 Meditation on Lazarus ...... 13 Stabat Mater...... 14 Several Poems on Advent...... 15 The Dance of Advent ...... 15 Incarnation ...... 16 There must be a star ...... 16 There is a reciprocity...... 17 Where But In Me...... 17 Meaning of Birth Story ...... 17 The Passion Story ...... 18 Meditation on Mark 11:1-24 Jesus Entry Into Jerusalem in a time of little peace ...... 18 Crucifixion ...... 19 No cross without protest and resurrection...... 19

Apocalypse...... 20 Engagement with God...... 22 O Dearest Friend ...... 22 How Rich You Are ...... 22 Whisper...... 23 Unity Arises ...... 24 There is a throne...... 24 O Coming Jesus ...... 24 Spirit Descending...... 25 Christ of the Wounds ...... 25 Nature as Parable ...... 25 Black Butterfly...... 25 Swimming...... 26 Ocassional Poems...... 26 The Experience of AIDS...... 26 O God...... 27 In Chaos Prayer, September 11, 2001...... 28 Life in the Face of Limits...... 29

Introduction

Poetry is usually about life, reflecting the experience of the poet. It is not a medium which tends to precise description, but rather embraces an experienced reality in order that this might be understood and shared. By its very nature it encourages exploration of this reality and its re-expression in words natural to the reader or listener. Thus I invite the reader to listen with me to life and consider what words might be appropriate to express her or his or our shared experience.

These poems are not poems of faith (understood as purely and intentionally expressive of a “faith tradition”), but of experience. Poems of experience describe the way life expresses itself, seems and feels, and invite the exploration and expression of this reality. Faith brings insights to bear upon experience and interprets it in the light of a religious tradition, somewhat from the perspective of a theorist and observer. Faith may also bring to the description of experience more than one’s communal faith tradition, rather expressing the insights about God and life gained from individual long-term experience which forms a personal tradition interpretive of life of which one may or may not be consciously aware.

When one writes poems of experience, faith (communal and personal) certainly affects one’s experience and expressions, but one does not seek to make expression conform. In poems of experience the poem arises from the experience and is allowed to express whatever it would at the moment. It will perhaps help the reader to know that for most of these I made no attempt to conform them to my faith tradition which exists alongside these experiences and in some ways is expressed within them. It is my hope that the experience of the reader will to some extent find itself at home in the poems. They vary from interpretations of biblical texts to reflections on human experience to occasional pieces.

I would like to indicate that my communal faith tradition, the Moravian Church, has fostered an approach to life and God which is supportive of a particular usage of religious tradition. From its origins in the 15th century the Moravian Church has divided religious matters into the Essential (God's offer of relationship responded to in faith, love and hope), Ministerials (that which serves the Essential, such as church, sacraments, Bible, preaching), and Incidentals (the different ways things are done). In the context of the

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18th century European Enlightenment Moravians spoke of the Essential as the heart relationship with the Savior. The heart was seen as an inner organ of intuitive perception which could know religious reality directly. Thus religion was not just a matter of mind, of concepts and systems of thought. Concepts were secondary. The church was constituted around the common experience of the reality of God and the life God brought. This approach, would lend itself to poetry, for poetry as language of experience would be more faithful to the reality experienced than concepts could be, the function of which was to define and limit rather than to reflect the reality and enable persons to re-encounter it. It is no accident that the primary Moravian theologian of the 18th century, Count Nicholas Ludwig von Zinzendorf, wrote thousands of hymns and poems and turned the primary Reformation Creeds used by the Moravian Church, the Lutheran Augsburg Confession and the Reformed Articles of the Synod of Berne, into poems (161 stanzas for the first 21 Articles of the Augsburg Confession and 198 stanzas for the first 18 Articles of the Synod of Bern). Poetry was cultivated as a spiritual gift.

By and large I do not much write poetry intentionally and analytically. That does not seem to be my process. Some of the poems arise within my experience and seem to wish to be born, while with others I place myself before a subject or issue and then allow the poem to take shape. Sometimes a poem comes in almost finished form. Other times I need to live with the poem for a while in order for it to refine itself. Beyond the process of refining the form, I also know that I must intentionally live with each poem for a while so that it fulfill its purpose with me. For me poetry has become vehicle for feelings and experiences, their resolution, and the living of life.

Stanzas sometimes express units of meaning, but at other times the meaning of one stanza is resolved in the next. Some stanzas and arrangement of words will be intentionally ambiguous, both because the reality is ambiguous and because the ambiguity opens to the reader more possibilities of meaning. I write words in lines that express pattern and emphasis but give little attention to specific meter and rhyme. I do, however, seek to be aesthetically sensitive to the selection and arrangement of words. At times the number of words in a line is limited for the sake of focus and emphasis, perhaps diminishing to a single word.

I have been much affected by six years of research on Rainer Maria Rilke (1875-1926) who is one of the most influential poets of the 20th century. For our purposes, he seems to have been a mystic who rejected traditional Christianity because of his experience with it and his ambivalent feelings towards his mother, a devout Roman Catholic. However, he was drawn to the mystery of life and the divine. At times this seems a type of pantheism which rejected Christian dualism and affirmed the world. Yet there was also his deep attraction to the God who was beyond world and images and could not be named, influenced by his experiences of mysticism within Russia.

He believed life, as it is, should be experienced and reverenced, including suffering, pain and death. During his dying from Leukemia he refused medication which would have denied him the experience of his death. The human role in life is to become servant to all of existance: to see it, love it, and praise it. In his poem "Turning Point”1 he begins with "in-looking," by which he seems to have meant looking into the reality of something or some one until it responded, until it became part of the inner landscape of the soul. His friend Rodin, the sculptor, started him on sensitivity to seeing. However, he discovered, the world asks for more than "in-looking."

1 See Arthur Freeman, The Poetry and Spirituality of Rainer Maria Rilke, unpublished. An excellent collection and translation of his poetry is Stephen Mitchell, ed. and translator, The Selected Poetry of Rainer Maria Rilke (New York: Vintage Books, Random House, 1989).

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For there is a boundary to looking (German, "in-looking"). And the world that is looked at so deeply wants to flourish in love.

Work of the eyes is done, now go and do heart-work on all the images imprisoned within you; for you overpowered them: but even now you don't know them.

Love does not overpower things and persons, but lets them be, relates to them, and ultimately speaks their existence and praises them so that they live on. Things are always passing away and transient. In "The Ninth Duino Elegy," the answer to the question as to the destiny of humanity is that “everything here apparently needs us, this fleeting world, which in some strange way keeps calling to us," to say and praise the things of this world more intensely than the things themselves. External reality is internalized, transformed within, so that it lives on in the stream of human collective existence: that interior world, "primal forest" within, mentioned in The Third Elegy.

That about which Rilke speaks is an openness to and passion for life’s reality, a love for being, which ultimately and deeply becomes a spiritual act and a commitment of the human heart, embracing but transcending individual experience. Thus life and God live within us as well without, and within us the whole of world and human experience dwell. Poetry is the expression and enablement of this and so it plays a significant role in spiritual and life formation. To explore what this may mean for you is your sacred task.

4 Life’s Welcome Once others told us what was there, To express life in poetry one must first welcome and we believed life as a whole, even its pain. until Come Now Life it did not all come true. Come now life into my hands: All life, Then we began joy and pain, to learn, unlearn, sorrow and passion. unname what for us Little power have I to choose, they named, perhaps with love. nor wisdom. Much less we knew, I welcome you but more we know: that I may know life's full expression. life’s mystery, and You. O God, shape my life until it, You were there, not too neatly wrapped, and heart could know and with some mystery, what mind becomes gift to You, could not name. -- and you, that I may not have been in vain. 1991 How quickly we make into it When life is welcomed we discover that it is what really is Thou more than others told us or we expected – and it and seek to own, is different. In a sense we live life discovering what is there. control, what cannot, must not, mastered Life Is be, and like we pleads for freedom. Life is an experiment How good to discover to live, to see and hear, what is there to feel life’s passions, and to somehow touch and how it might be lived, an other. How good with passion. to live and enter the mystery It’s hardly worth both of world, and other. the effort to merely endure, to live without some love for living.

Wisdom transcending I would not comprehension. have missed it for the world, There are moments for the world, ever. full of God that one must not Just to have been own. They with pain and passion, are not ours. to drink deep the lives of those I’ve loved, To seize the angel Jacob-like, to bear within to struggle till their stories, some gift is given, to be recalled and wound, in dream and hope may be again. God’s invitation. O what a gift. Yet, And you, O God, to control and own You’re worth such a time? whatever is endured. Surrender and obedience January 12, 1996 may be the only way to allow And we seek to discover how to act and react by discerning what is in life. There may be times Divine intent when we need to control, but there are also times when we need to surrender. to find its way, fulfill its destiny. There Are Moments How does one know when to grasp There are moments and own to be seized, controlled, and when owned, labeled to let God mine. and God’s moment, purpose, be? There are moments to be fought, Discernment, and overcome, perhaps, used by powers for when to master I would not own. and when surrender. I’ll have to learn. But there are times when one submits But it does to Mystery, seem that if we listen

6 hard enough, And when we discover how to take life, death we do know. becomes more friend than enemy.

And then Death, I See Your Smile we must decide if Death we are willing I see your smile to let go. You welcome me with outstretched arms How hard into your com-passion. to live moments I do not master But it’s too soon. and, Peter-like, Not yet should I go. be carried But thank you where I would not go. for your smile.

January 8, 1996 It’s good to know you are there There is risk in living life, but there is also risk when I will in being afraid of life. need you.

Come to the Edge And to know that when I heard a voice: the time comes, Come to the edge! you’ll welcome me And I was afraid. into your embrace. The voice demanded: Come to the edge! Feb. 2, 1996 But I will fall! And we learn to trust the flow of life. Come to the edge, the voice gently pled. Where Life Goes And trembling I came. Remember, And a wind thrust me my friend, into space. the flow of life you feel moving And reaching to God knows to grasp the edge where. I found - I could fly. Trust its What if he movement. had loved me too much You to force me from the edge? need not know 4/12/96 its culmination.

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Few know Where you go where life goes, is its fulfillment, always until, where with surprise, God you're there is to reflect; and I. only Have to find again faith life rushes on in to some the mystery yet undreamed of your destination. Destiny.

Life's January 4, 1992 more journey than destination. Laughter Arrivals become part of is the gift of grace transforming our struggle. ongoing process. In the midst of It is only struggle and hope, those in the presence of whom you've touched pain and joy, and who've with the echo of touched you how and when and why who become still sounding in my heart; part of the on-going landscape In the presence of of your soul, world and self, and go with you, rebellious shrines as does of my being God. and hope, place God is of my struggle God of journey, and vision; and of your journey. There came So, laughter, be not afraid. at first, barely audible from the depths of somewhere, and then bubbling forth

8 from the soil of life as a gentle spring; The Human Mystery Growing in compass and power until And So I'm Here. into its vortex it drew and I know not how or why I came. It is my sacred transformed all, task to reflect. and its roar overcame And so I'm here. the darkness. I know not how or why And all I came. I’d taken so seriously I looked around and tried to and there I was. shape and fate What should I do, in ways I thought this place and time? expected From deep within and tried to solve, a voice confirmed, Joined in the laugh, my friend, you're here, -- the joke on me indeed. played by diviner Reach out, explore, thoughts than mine, touch those nearby. and then Be not afraid from my own throat in this strange place. came this song of songs, You'd not be here were there no need. And heaven joined It's not so much the mirth. what you may do, Laughter rippled in thunderous tones, but what you're from heavenly thrones called to be. until God’s tears flowed For in the whole and washed clean of time and place the earth. there is a space I knew where you should be this to weave I must receive, the tapestry of time. and give as gift. 1996 July 14, 1999

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there was a world The World Within I scarcely knew.

The setting sun I shut my eyes. gently drew But now they danced the blanket of the night the spaces o'er towns and fields of my mind. and fluffed the pillowed hills. And then I knew

And day lay down its head the world within while stars reminded all had to be lived, of other worlds as well without, and twinkling city lights with love promised another day. and hope. 1996

And gazing through When I Look my window at undulating trees When I look and disappearing shapes into the mirror of my life imagination opened her eyes. behind lies my world, over my shoulder, My memories found friends whispering into my ear, in forms that reached matrix of my becoming. to greet them. And there I am, looking back. They danced forth My image is me, yet not quite. to their call. It has a depth far beyond its flat reflective surface. At first I'd bekon It seems to know more than I, to those I knew and to feel: and long remembered, the deep currents bubbling but then they needed from the springs of my origin, no invitation. flowing through the channels of my heart and mind, And world within plunging again into their source, poured through the portals into life's mystery of my mind and I from which I come. was there where long ago I'd been. I was born not only from her whose body And all I'd longed held me fast and let me go to see again, into her world and some I'd of faces and of dreams, rather not, not only from the strange transformations were there. of body, mind and passion which gave new worlds And there were more, to find, for they invited friends but also from those long ago and soon

10 whose faces I never knew, mystery and future, whose living shaped my life I do not know. in human and not so human ways. And you, my friend, I am heir what will you do with me? to an indefineable stream Or I with you? of human existence. What do my promises mean? From my eyes a thousand eyes Or yours? look back. And if you are as strange as I, And those who meet me what may I hope from you? meet not only me. How dangerous, yet how delightful.

And yet I am more I'd hope that you and I than the sediments can live with what we know from the streams of my heritage, and yet in what we don't, more than all who gave me birth, protect each other, more than the strange mystery within. and love and friendship gain that we be not alone While my heritage and as the God who loves us and forming boundaries take some holy risk. shape my being and suggest who I am, Wonderful strangeness God calls, that I am, without, within; tis good that I am known would name me, in ways I cannot know; call me forth that there is One beyond my hope's horizon, who calls, forgives, would breathe into me life, and draws me forth as in creation, to ever changing forms and shape new images and takes a risk with me. divine, yet human. Today, as in a mirror darkly, God's call was also I explore my face presence, warm and sweet, and leave the future which brushed my cheek to God and those and heart, offered who love me some. a life to share But also in cosmic friendship I start to love and love, the strange transforming shapes which diminishes I see – in me. the shapeless fear of future things -- and me. July 7, 1996 (Influenced by the Duino Elegies of How strange to look Rainer M. Rilke) into the mirror to see the one I know, whose depth,

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And the world When we Look Into Each Other’s Eyes in some way wondrous A time has come will be different. fated by our journeys Strange and our longings what happens when we look when we look into each other’s into each other’s eyes eyes. 2001 and find a mystery we know we share Poetry on Biblical Passages and commit to a communion It is natural to express the meaning of biblical which joins but preserves passages in poetic form. After all, there is each. extensive use of poetry in Scripture and the language of Scripture is full of imagery. One As whenever may even regard Jesus’ use of parables as a two find oneness, form of poetry, creating a sphere of reality in the future holds the answers which what he sought to communicate what to what this means may be experienced in individual and varied and to the dreams ways. The language of the parable makes insight which haunt and hope us. possible, but does not produce conformity to a single analysis. Together we will follow Scripture our Shepherd and find in journey looks deeply into life of life and hope to grasp its nature and vision and portray its meaning what this that by the brush of imagination might mean. and the color of words we may paint a canvas The dream which speaks to mind and heart we cherish and preserves is not just ours, the dimensions of our existence. but His, and He will need to show Scripture is as concerned with aesthetics where it will go. as with truth;

but it is concerned And just perhaps with truth — will happen often in its most that which is comprehensive dimensions. in the heart of God. And at its depths there is God.

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Birth of the Wor(l)d John 1:1-18 The Resurrection of Lazarus

In time's infancy, The door rolled back, when chaos swirled and forth he came o'er the face of a world unborn, called by the one Word was there: whose voice he knew. in God's presence, of God's essence, "Unbind!" he heard, in time's infancy with God. and then could feel All creation through him came to be, hands tearing 'way no thing excepted. what held him fast. In him life radiantly pulsed, heartbeat of an intelligible world, How strange again God-sent to illumine understanding: to feel the sun Light, invincible, piercing and breathe the air, cosmic darkness, never overcome, fresh from the field. though little comprehended. He did not want In the world which still to come -- but knew bore marks of his touch, he must. For death his silent presence and would take his Lord. whispered meaning moved few to bear within Then how'd they know their souls his gifts that life was more, and be birthed God's children, extending from both full of grace and truth. sides the door And so, in final gesture called death; of faithfulness and desperation that on both sides, the Word became flesh embraced and lived, to pitch his tent in lowly places both life and door to love emerging creation belongs to God? and share its life And so, to the end, when lifted up upon the cross, he might forever, still, to him draw all. we hear the call For those who gaze upon the stars to be unbound and wonder why and who, from fear of death - for those who midst their struggles and life. 1992 wonder how, -- for those who seek to love and touch, Meditation on Lazarus for whom creation's, history's, chaos sometimes seems too much, From the mystery of the who see in all some mystery's meaning womb of a world but dimly glimpsed, To the silence of the tomb he came. 1992 Life moves through its stages;

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What was gained put his world to flight Slips through our grasp. in her embrace.

Thrust upon the mercies of His was the pain existence beyond our of his suffering, control, but hers was the pain We are amazed to find of all mothers life sustained by God. who cannot save their sons and feel his pain Then we realize that as well their own. living is not only birth and growth, A sword pierced her soul dying is not only life's and her dreams for him, final stillness. for the time, died. Her laments Dying is that which rent the skies. weighs life down, How came this to pass, keeps life from so soon? unfolding, binds it, Beside the cross, drains its possibilities. weeping, she stood, Dying is her memories fearing to live, flooding her eyes staring upon life and running down with empty eyes, her cheeks. seeing nothing. There was no power Living is finding to turn history back the Source of life to repeal the plan Who gifts our of God. existence Her son was dying and sustains us. 1983 as he said he would.

Stabat Mater Would there be more? Would there be another day There stood his mother grieving. when together No longer they would stand could she hold him and hope again, close upon her lap embrace again? and save him from all ills. Perhaps.

No longer Time will tell. could she respond And yet one must be to outstretched arms honest with pain. and One has for a moment

14 little choice. One must live His suffering, and hers, what comes. may be more clue to But blessed are they life and God that mourn. than we They shall be comforted. at first And, if God be believed. in him who hung there, Great Sabbath, April 6, 1996 then specially blessed are those who also know Several Poems on Advent this is the pain of God. The Dance of Advent

To your coming I come. The rhythm by which you move to me I move to you in some eternal walz whose music has been moving through my mind.

Lover of my soul, had you not come I'd not have known you were there, ready reaching out I could not have danced our dance.

My thanks. The dance of life need not be 'lone, and in your strength look I beyond to where we'd go together;

And wonder what will be and how long

15 the music and when the time And did you wonder why will come and did you wonder how you'll have to dance it'd all come out for me. Oct. 25, 1996 and did you wonder what they'd think Incarnation of you, when they did know?

What did you think October 25, 1996 when you opened your eyes and looked There must be a star upon this strange world you'd brought to be There must be a star and loved, somewhere sometimes from far? to call me and create What did you think the greater horizons when you felt life of my soul. moving in arms and legs, when you lay There must be some wise upon the softness of heeding its direction your mother's breast? traveling to where it leads, What did you think forever when you knew traveling. how long it'd be before you walked There must be some shepherds and only sounds, strange, looking up came from your lips? hearing songs in the night tending What did you think their flocks looking when you knew for angels. upon the cross you'd die and struggle, infant-like, There must be a mother to grasp your destiny birthing a child without power? somewhere with great pain What did you think and joy of that vast world with hope. beyond the crib to which you came, If it had not been, for which you'd give I would need your life? to dream it for how else to live than by stars and you.

Oct. 27, 1996

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There is a reciprocity A star shines There is a reciprosity: for all who would see. my world you enter Where shall it shine that I may enter yours. but in me?

But yours is world A dream of the future I’ve never been. dreams it could be. Had you been here before? Where shall it be dreamt but in me? You kept your distance, creating this world We are the place, at the far side of your words. We are the world, where all is gifted Words are often used to be. December 13, 1999 to keep from being near, and touching. Meaning of Birth Story

But this time Word Grant, O God, became flesh, that we may find bound itself to my world. in the story of Jesus’ birth a paradigm for life, Perhaps now I, a way to live, with courage may bind myself to yours. A model of a world where God and life Nov.-Dec. 1996 are brought together and much is born from Where But In Me this womb.

From chaos Help us to hear a world was born. in our own life’s moments Where shall it live the words of an angel but in me? who can speak meaning and knows our destiny. From history a tradition was born. Help us to know that with God Where shall it live there is no impossibility, but in me? that life is never barren, and we are never alone The time had come when we utter, “here I am.” for a child to be born. Where shall he live Bring our hearts but in me? to the drama within, without, especially to God’s companionship, that our life be truly blessed and possibilities always born.

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Bless us by interweaving The Passion Story the stories of our many dimensions, country and family, Meditation on Mark 11:1-24 shepherds and Temple, Jesus Entry Into Jerusalem in a time of little as did Luke of Jesus peace that we may know Gentle God the intrircate and rich texture of an often ungentle world, of our lives, ponder and live loving God their meaning and breadth.. bearer of life’s possibilities and dreams,

And where there is suffering We thank you grant hope and vision. that you have shared our life Where there is pain, and walked the path gently carry us of suffering and hope. and remind us of yours. The world you entered Where we are separated was as real as ours. by differences The shadow of conflict and lose relationship hung over its future. remind us of the heart’s obligation. People struggled with When life seems difficult what should be birth for us hope and how your sacred house and horizons sustained might be for all. by your possibilities. And how faith Help us to know when to question could see beyond and when to hold fast mountains without question, and trees of withered hope. that hope and vision be not impaired. It means so much to find in you In time threatened with war the courage and vision Grant us also to fight for peace. by which life is truly lived. Grant safety and care to those who serve in our armed services. We pray for our world for your protection As we approach the new year of those we love in secular calendar and church year, and those we’ve not yet learned to love. join the story of Christ with the concerns of days ahead. May Jesus entry into all of his world’s frightening aspects, And may we always remember his dialogical engagement with persons, that our eyes have truly seen salvation, and his great love, and creation, in the birth, of the infant of Bethlehem. Amen. 2002 pattern our living, as we entrust to him

18 the life and world No cross without protest together and resurrection we must live. The shadow Passion Week 2003 of the cross weighed heavily Crucifixion upon life and seemed to ask A drop of blood acceptance fell from the wound without protest, and tinged the earth acquiescence to injustice with love. and oppression and pain that need not A drop of sweat have been. fell from his brow. The earth drank from Is cross this salty sea. to blind the sun and take away hopes, A tremor of pain rightly dreamed, coursed down the wood demanding, and for a moment without question the ground in sympathy and protest, sighed. whatever comes be lived? His cry from lips drawn taut Cross speaks took wings, life's alighting on the at times distant hills. harsh realities yet also calls No solitary cross, this, to live with courage no accident or incident as did he who hung there to pass unnoticed. silhouetted against the rising sun Somehow life no more of his resurrection could be the same. promising empowerment The blood and sweat, and dignity. the pain and cry, Life joined all those of their is cross, kind and kin we know too well, and claimed them but that's not all. as His own. Cross is always October 8, 1995 transcended, overcome, in vision if not in deed.

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And life is more, Refrain O so much more. But Oh, the pain in his heart March 19, 2000 For churches he would never see And suffering he could not change. Apocalypse It was the Tribulation and the End. "Be faithful," said the voice, Dona eiis requiem sempiternam. .... "And I will give you the crown of life." 4

Libera me, Domine, de morte aeterna, Refrain In die illa tremenda: In die irae He saw HIM! Quando coeli movendi sunt et terra: HE stood tall, Dum veneris judicare saeculum per ignem.2 Hair as white wool, In the midst of his churches, Refrain: Libera me, Domine, de morte aeterna. Eyes as a flame of fire, The MAN who had the keys of death and John, exile on Patmos, Hades. 5 In The Spirit, Visioned a new world: Refrain City from heaven, Like a jewel, And then there swam before his eyes No tears, A Lamb once slain, No Death, Whose blood ransomed humans for God; No mourning or pain. 3 A Woman clothed with the sun; A Dragon waiting to devour A Child waiting to be born; 2. This first stanza is taken from words that are parts of a And a Harlot waiting to be destroyed, Requiem Mass said for the dead. A usual part of such a Mass is the envisioning of the Day of Wrath, the prayer for eternal rest, and the prayer for freedom from eternal death. Notice that while at first the language speaks of "them", it soon becomes "my" prayer (“free me, O Lord, from eternal death”). The "Libera me" line then becomes of chapter 1 and the letters to the seven churches in 2-3, the Refrain to be repeated responsorially after each with modifications to the rest of the book. It thus captures stanza. Translated the first stanza is: within its materials all of the Jewish and Christian suffering and hope of the first century. Though John was Give them eternal rest. .... not author of all of the materials, its visions gave expression to the pain and vengeance within his soul. Free me, O Lord, from eternal death, 4. Rev. 2-3, 2:10. In Jewish and Christian Apocalyptic the On the day of wrath, period of the Great Tribulation was seen as a time of Upon that horrible day: terrible suffering preceding the end. When heavens and earth are to be moved 5. This stanza is taken from the vision of the "Son of When you shall come to judge the world by fire. Man" in Rev. 1. The term "MAN" or its equivalent "Son 3. Rev. 1:9, 21:1-4. Revelation was likely written in three of Man" was used in Apocalyptic literature of the original stages. Its origin was in the tradition of the teaching of heavenly MAN after the pattern of which earthly man was John the Baptist (chpts. 4-11), modified and added to made. This MAN was thought to be reflected in Gen. 1, during the Jewish revolt against the Romans in 66-73 AD and the earthly man/Adam was described in Gen. 2-3. The (chpts. 4-22), and then this material was again modified heavenly Man was expected to aid in the final struggle by the Christian John who is in exile for his faith on the with Satan and the ascended Jesus was identified with this Isle of Patmos. John's particular contribution is the vision person.

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Drunk with blood, And John pressed his hands to his eyes On a scarlet Beast. 6 To shut out what he saw with his soul.

Refrain Refrain

And heaven poured fire upon the Harlot City, And John screamed: "NO MORE!" Till she writhed in pain. And millstones stopped, And suddenly Lamps went out, There was silence. The bridegroom in silent anguish And the MAN with white hair and eyes of fire Clutched his lifeless bride. Became a LAMB STILL SLAIN And She was no more. 7 With no fire and bloody winepress.

Refrain Refrain

And John remembered a LAMB ONCE SLAIN, In pain the LAMB cried from a cross: And saints whose blood stained the earth, "Why have you forsaken me?" 9 And HIS winepress that poured blood of And its sound was taken by the hills and the vengeance mountains High as a horses bridle. Till the earth reverberated, And he saw the birds swirl the crimson skies And his cry pierced heaven. Over a crimson earth For the supper of the slain. 8 Refrain

Refrain And there was another VISION. [THERE MUST ALWAYS BE And the pain of the world rose, A VISION!] Beginning like a wisp of wind, A river of LIFE, Gathering the world's debris, Bright as crystal, flowed from the Till it screamed in clouds THRONE OF GOD, That twisted and turned From which trees with leaves for healing Until all seemed pulled within its vortex. Drew their strength. AND THERE WAS NO MORE ANYTHING Refrain ACCURSED.10

And the cry of every mother And of every lover 9 And of all dashed hopes . Mark 15:34. 10. This last stanza is taken from Rev. 22:1-5 which is Blackened the skies. really the conclusion of the last of the visions (21:22- 22:5), after which a number of paragraphs are added for various purposes. In a world where so much has been destroyed, this last vision preserves the "nations" and 6. The Dragon represented Satan; the Child, the Messiah; speaks of their illumination and healing rather than their the Harlot, Rome. Rev. 12-17. The Lamb once slain (Rev. destruction. The poem interprets this as John's repentance 5) may have been derived from Is. 53:7. In John 1:20 of his anger and the devastation he envisions for his John the Baptist describes Jesus as "the Lamb of God, world. There has been enough of suffering and too little who takes away the sins of the world." of the God of the LAMB STILL SLAIN. The emphasis in 7. Rev. 18. Revelation on the LAMB ONCE SLAIN, leaves his 8. Rev. 5, 14:17-20, 19:17-21. suffering behind so that he became the vengeful RAM of

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Refrain ‘Tis wonder-full to know each time we’re lost 1989 we find each other, and you do come Engagement with God where we do seek, - wherever. The relationship with God is a journey in which we discover each other. Perhaps we never O Dearest Friend really lose each other after O dearest Friend, all. God of the long years and old times Perhaps and now. we’re bound - together I forgot you. by that strange Do you suffer - my neglect? force When I’m gone, called love. Absorbed in my struggle, Do you remember me? October 7, 1995

Time splashes on its way, How Rich You Are bounding o’er rocks, round curved banks, My God, pooling in eddys, how rich you are. dancing hard in the rapids - it will not wait. Our Father who art in heaven, and on earth, We remember and promise you call me son to each other or daughter a time together as case may be. of talk and silence, of being - together. You Son who shared our flesh We promise a time and history, of walking - together bore our pain. into the future, hand in hand. You fought the powers of evil And promise not again gathered there, to forget - so soon. which nailed you fast,

but not so fast you could not Apocalyptic thought. To be the LAMB STILL SLAIN rise means he still takes the suffering of the world to himself and gives it expression, and the last three stanzas of the into our hearts. poem reflect this.

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And you Spirit, Whisper maker of holiness, transformer of Whisper that you are near the human, gentle mystery with some limits, of my days and years.

Be everywhere Let me know the smell of roses that God should be and the gentle touch that all you touch of a breeze is drawn by tenderest force upon my cheek and a rising within and in response. with life and justice express Once I hardly overheard your new creation, your thoughts called to its destiny. and overlooked

O breath of God, the gentle weight breathe o’er world of your hand and me, and all, upon my heart my heart would be your sanctuary. and your meaning and intent These are your names, in the course of things. though you are One. Your many names Yet come to think, do free you were there, to name you more: of another dimension

Servant, Lover, Mother, of hope and light Wisdom, Word, and gentle persuasion. Adam from Heaven, How strange! eternally Wounded, I'd always hoped Friend, for power Fullness, eternal No-thing and overcoming. beyond all names. And yet you shine Grant that your names like setting sun never become walls o'er forms and shapes, of my making in the gathering dark, to keep me mysterious, but distant transformed in gold from your love.

January 12, 1996

23 by which you and by your love paint the background and power of my existence, as an icon. help me to live ‘midst all April 24-6, 1996 the powers within, without.

But I do pray Unity Arises that I would grow mature with you, Unity arises with others, where we discover to take my that we are touched by the same God place in life. and that life which flows within us has a common origin. Whate’er you’d make of me As we speak of this I’d not forget we draw further apart, you are my life. each in the direction of our own description: I can’t create a necessary, exciting, but at times your gift, painful and alienating, task. nor would And so I over the distance of our descriptions ever we shout: REMEMBER! wish We are brothers, we are sisters. to be Lest we forget. alone.

And while we describe, December, 1996 we frequently stop to draw from the well O Coming Jesus of our common existence to be reminded O coming Jesus, come! of the One Come where I am. from Whom all live. There’s no place else that I can be -- and live. March 1995 When touching you There is a throne I know the mystery far transcends There is a throne my time and place. deep in my heart I pray But come to me -- here; you’d take love me -- here. Here to center let me feel the strength me in you. of your embrace.

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Grant to each time August 12, 1966 and place your grace that all may know, Christ of the Wounds as I, your heart, Christ of the wounds, and find the heart come gently to me, and hope by which embrace all my longing, to live held in your arms. and serve, Mystery of living and beyond more than I grasp the passion to make all same sustain my vision join those who, in other speak words of caring. lands and here, are yours. The plantings of time May 10, 1995 on the path that I walk entangle my feet, Spirit Descending would keep me from you.

Spirit descending Yet I see beyond all life transcending to the place of your going giving unending and follow the touch creation mending. of your hand upon mine.

Life now fulfilling August, 1996 destiny completing wholeness restoring Nature as Parable person becoming. Nature reflects reality and suggests profound None else is thrilling questions. my heart compelling until my dwelling Black Butterfly in your kind blessing. Black butterfly, Rising, I'm living delicate jeweled in your love thrilling effluence of life, grasping your hoping so quickly gone. finding my dawning. One moment basking Now is the being in the sun, I must be seeking and in one winged swoop but there is dreaming - - gone. found in your keeping. How quickly Silently standing not just moments, in your deep loving but life's life I find myself drawing passes on. closer to you.

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Ocassional Poems So we who endure few moments longer The Experience of AIDS and leave some history are soon gone? What if our time of life could be serenely Are we, in truth, spent as grass, withered, in form of vine, carried in fate's warm wind, tendrils where we'd not go. tightly grasping some greater form And does it matter secure that we have been? no thought for 'morrow Are we remembered or today - - somewhere? no passion, dread, no hope and love, Each living thing just being there? persists, insists its life and worth, Why then to be human, not lightly dies. to be aware, to feel life's hastening stream Perhaps there's One flow through our veins who holds in love and rush, unchecked, and memory into those depths each living thing. where silence reigns?

And grants to them Why have to love a future. and bind our hearts to those whose fate, like ours, Swimming slips through our grasp and leaves us lone Swimming to think upon our loss? deftly into the blue This fleeting life sea of sky and those whose fleeting lives the bird move swiftly by, cleaved air and every tree we see with wings and roses hued with dew and song and airy call of birds until his form and smell of leafed woods I scarcely saw after the rain and there was only space fall gently into heart and mind where he had been, and live there still and blue. like some vast space where world and all exist But left to be recalled behind to never die his song.

26 to laugh and cry and to the clouds again -- transforming in the sky perhaps that's why. and to you, my friend, who, if nowhere else, O, to remember shall live and give to each the gift within our heart. again to live. And to love, Based on the theme of Rilke's Ninth for to remember's not enough Duino Elegy, for World AIDS Day, if in remembering there's no Nov. 15, 1992 passion and if remembering's College Reunion casual and does not reconstruct O God and cherish the face and voice O God, and walk and hope whose mystery fills galaxies, and touch and mind, shapes the patterns of nature, and hold in heart and the depths of mind and heart with longing who gifts us with life and with freedom, and possibilities and letting be the one joins us to the meaning we often tried to mold. of an unfolding cosmos Whatever worlds await, who in the midst of life's realities whatever hope for calls us those whose moment to victory, hope and joy, slips beyond our grasp, beyond mere enduring; whatever visions for ourselves, to NOW have loved whisper that you are near, and felt another's soul gentle Mystery flow into ours of our days and years. to birth life from our womb or from our heart Let us know the smell of spring must be creation's and the gentle touch truest hope. of friendship

Praise to life and a rising within and to the God of life in response and to each gentle breeze to memories whose touch does press upon our cheek of walks and halls and to the grass filled with beneath our feet those we once knew and to the warmth and still cherish. of earth and to the falling rain

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We who now gather Let us know the smell of spring in this convocation thank you and the gentle touch for the length of years of friendship that shape the horizon of our past, and a rising within for forefathers and foremothers in response whose learning and joy to memories. Amen shaped the places where they lived, Written for the Alumni Convocation of Lawrence University, Appleton, Wis., and for the present tapestry June 1999 of all those involved in the life of this institution, and for those In Chaos whom today Prayer, September 11, 2001 we especially honor: distinguished alumni We thank you God retiring faculty that into the chaos and uncertainty of this world We celebrate education you have sent your Son and Spirit which informs the mind, to promise us your love and presence broadens the heart, that we may live with hope, and joins us without doubt or question, knowing that our suffering to the tradition, is yours, wisdom and values owned on the cross. which fill yet transcend time and place We know that: and enable us Where there is darkness to fulfill our destiny there is your light. as those responsible Where there is death for world and future. there is your life. Where world disintegrates May we have learned there is your world from the suffering, When future is uncertain pain and horror of past years there is your future. that no place And life is ours or people as indestructible gift. are too foreign to be our kin. We thank you that you remind us to discover our world Whisper that you are near, in the light of yours, gentle Mystery as joy, hope, and possibility, of our days and years. as creation yet to be realized, unlimited by boundaries of the present.

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and vitality And so we celebrate, within our limits and possibilities. believe and trust what is beyond us We deeply rejoice but for us when we discover those who will affirm us and gift to us as we are, from YOU. Amen. who will uphold us when we cannot uphold ourselves, Life in the Face of Limits who will receive the gifts we may struggle to offer, Written for the Residents who will share our joy at being alive of Good Shepherd Hospital, Allentown and live with us our anger and tears.

Each person is a being unique. We are! No one is exactly the same as another. We are children of God and God’s world Some of our differences are by nature. and children of this earth! Some are by accident. We have bodies, We experience anxiety in the presence of those but also souls! too different Woe if we forget either, and in the presence of our differences. for we diminish our possibilities We wonder how to relate and misunderstand our existence. and how to be related to. And yet spirit speaks to spirit, With courage and we find in the heart, soul, and God’s blessing and embodiment of each I will be, that which makes us distinctively human. and I will will to be. 1996 How strange and wonderful our differences, and sometimes, how painful. But is there really any normative way to be, and in our being, is there any way without pain -- and joy?

Whatever we can become, we must with all our soul and courage affirm. Sometimes we have no others who can do this for us. Whatever our limits, we must grasp who we are and our transcendence. We live within this world and within the body. But also we transcend it. Like soaring eagles we engage in flights through our inner and spiritual reality and for moments soar free, to return again to live with new strength

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