HONI SOIT Issue 17 aug 24th 2011 6.30pm Life is no dress rehearsal (except when you are actually just rehearsing for something).Sydney Dance Company is holding a WORK-IN- PROGRESS EVENING for ‘The Land of Yes and the Land of No’. Artistic director Rafael Bonachela will talk about his ideas and the work. FREE. 6-7. 30PM Free knowledge! Head to the Law School foyer for Dr. Victor Boantza’s talk JOSEPH PRIESTLY: ENLIGHTENMENT, WED SCIENCE AND DISSENT. Priestly, the controversial 18th century scientist and writer led a fascinating life, and his science, art, religion and political thought will all be discussed tonight. Thinking caps on! PICK OF THE WEEK 8PM 24th Sydney Uni spawn DOMEYKO/GONZALES are taking the stage every Thursday in August, bringing their post-rock pleasure to the Lansdowne for a grand total of FREE.

5-8pM BEAT THE SYSTEM and SYDNEY UNI RADIO SOCIETY cordially invite you to pop, lock and sip some sizzurp to mark the start of their Verge Festival radio broadcast. There will be free purple ‘dranks’ (we don’t really know what that means) and phat beats courtesy from hip hop DJs. Get low (and by ‘low’ we mean ‘to Hermann’s’).

7pm Joining the revue party are Architecture - NINETEEN • EIGHTY FLOOR, Engineering - JAMES BLONDE - THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN ALE and Science, with NASABLANCA. Their awesome • shows are taking over the Seymour Centre and Manning Bar. Don’t miss out! 8.30pm Calling all fashionistas! The Town Hall will be transformed into a catwalk tonight for A REVIEW OF AUSTRALIAN FASHION WEEK, a showcase of key looks and trends for next season from the best Aussie talent. Tix $25-80. 7.30pm Where did I put my psychedleic-garage-rock? Oh, there it is, in the Annandale Hotel. Sydney Uni superstars, super FRI FLORENCE jam, are launching their EP. $10 + BF, online.

7PM We’re going to HARRY MILAS’ 21st! Do you know Harry? He’s a magician and he’s dating an Honi editor so we have to go or he’ll SAT be super angry. Harry, money’s been tight, so this is our present to you. Love, Honi. xx 27th 04

FROM 8am TASTE ORANGE @ BONDI brings food and 05 produce to the Bondi Pavilion. Why go to Orange when you can make Orange come to you?

5-9 PM Buy sweet records at the ‘DANGER’ RECORD FAIR at The Carlton, 139 Bourke st in the city. Entry is free, live music, records on sale from electro, new-wave and italo-disco. I think that’s a disco where everyone leans to the right the SUN whole time, right? Sure. 07

8Am Shipping containers for the VERGE FESTIVAL arrive on Eastern Avenue. Please don’t get crushed, it was really hard getting approval from the university for this. If you have to get crushed, MON do so in a way that keeps all the messy blood in your body. 08

6pm SOCIAL MEDIA, DEMOCRACY AND THE ARAB SPRING, a talk given by Egyptian journo Mona Eltahawy, Anthony Lowenstein and Prof. John Keane promises to be an insightful and in depth look at the way social media is affecting politics and protest. Free. Law School Foyer, no registration required. 6pm Wash your delicates and bring your smarts to ROCK N’ ROLL BINGO at The Darlie Laundrette. Kick back in this new wash- TUE and-dry themed small bar, where the style is bubbles and rockabilly. 10 A $100 bar tab is up for grabs.

VERGE FESTIVAL STARTS NEXT WEEK! GET EXCITED! WE ALREADY ARE! EDITORIAL HEADSTART! 30th THE LOVECHILD: DISCLAIMER RETRACTION Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, O Hugh Laurie Honi would like to apologise for writing Level 1 Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s Jimi Hendrix operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of about student politics. We don’t like it Sydney. The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional owners of any more than you do, but it’s a necessary this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi Soit is written, printed, and evil because otherwise these boils get distributed on Aboriginal land. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s The to grow rather than being lanced by directors of student publications: Pat Massarani, Rhys Pogonoski, Deborah White, student journalism. Pierce Hartigan, Alistair Stephenson and Meghan Bacheldor. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC lateral unless specifically stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy DAD JOKE OF THE WEEK: of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it damage endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Honi Soit is printed by MPD. I went for a job at the ADVERTISING: To advertise in Honi Soit, contact Tina Kao or Amanda LeMay of the [email protected] orange juice factory www.src.usyd.edu.au but I just couldn’t London concentrate. THIS WEEK’S TEAM riots. HONEY SUAVE EDITOR IN KAISER CHIEF: Shannon Connellan Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only EDITORS: Jacqueline Breen, Neada Bulseco, James ten I see! Colley, Bridie Connell, Andy Fraser, Julian Larnach, 7 Michael Richardson, Laurence Rosier Staines, Tom Walker REPORTERS: Conor Bateman, Tom William Will Clements, Max Halden, Samantha Hawker, Chris Martin, Rebecca Saffir, Felix Supernova, Huw Tyler the Watson, Daniel Zwi Creator CONTRIBUTORS: Bryant Apolonio, Bridie Connellan, Angus Farrell, Jack Freestone, Jack Gow, say Julian Van der Zee thank CRUCIVERBALIST: Benny Davis COVER: Shannon Connellan you? COMIC: Alessandro Tuniz 8

Yes, HONI SOIT Pitchfork WEEK 5 ISSUE actually CONTENTS 24TH AUGUST 2011 wrote that. FEATURE LETTERS DANIEL ZWI takes a torch to Pitchfork.com. 04 Please stop sending letter bombs. ANDY FRASER mixes up the brave and catchy 12 new world of DJ technology. CAMPUS THE ARTS BIT 13 05 ANDY FRASER and JULIAN LARNACH made some campus news. They killed a ANGUS FARRELL interviews Stuart Buchanan guy. 14 from the pioneering New Weird Australia. Robert JACQUELINE BREEN walks her ears along CONOR BATEMAN, JULIAN VAN DER ZEE, Oxford St. Ouch. Crumb TOM WILLIAM CLEMENTS and OLD MAN FELIX SUPERNOVA defends a deviant graphic HING have seen some revues in their day. artist. - art or Music class begins, with HUW WATSON. Louis London chat to NEADA BULSECO before smut? Or NEWS Verge Festival. JAMES COLLEY baked some bite-sized SAMANTHA HAWKER wears pork. is that 07 news bits. Dig in! “smart”? It’s Liby-hell-ya for TOM LEE. BRIDIE CONNELLAN on the musical PAGE...16? victims of London riots. TOM WALKER talks Genevieve Fricker 16 with Genevieve Fricker. BRYANT APOLONIO misses lengthy FARRAGO tales. 15 NEADA BULSECO has long since turned gay 08 for Beyonce. SRC GRIBBLIES A hearty fuck-you to music censorship. Love, 17 Who ordered all this Chad? A labyrinth JACK GOW. LAURENCE ROSIER STAINES sings the of words! praises of opera. REBECCA SAFFIR turns down the volume on Wagner. CRYPTONOMICON Mind the JACK FREESTONE laws down the listening 20 BENNY DAVIS’ words are all crossed. minotaur! law SPORT MATT WATSON plays AFL and journalism. CHRIS MARTIN picks some sporting tunes. 10 My favourite sport is looting! MAX HALDEN Rolling Gart THE PROFILE 20 10K made sweet sweet Game Boy music, and LAURENCE ROSIER STAINES interviewed him. ? THE EDITORIAL If you have any thoughts or comments Those darn air on anything in this issue of Honi Soit, please There are various things in life that are polluting fascists. write to us at: awkward. Picking your nose, food in the teeth, pretending to be a moose. Then there honi.soit@ is prematurely blowing your load. That’s We dig music. The ‘cone of silence’ should be replaced src.usyd.edu.au That guy digs music. with ‘the Perspex box’ as in Dubai airport. pretty awkward (I’ve heard). Honi managed That nanna digs it, her Smokers should chip in and buy said to publish a whole feature on the USU last week that didn’t include arguably the most hairdresser digs it. ‘smoking cabins’ at their own expense. letters notable piece of campus news this year. This You listen to it in the car, at work, was of course because our deadline occurred Smokers just tend to forget what little between classes, on the train, in the Why was this prior to the news being leaked, but when fascists they are in public spaces - supermarket, ‘in da club’, in between goals you’re published two days later it doesn’t obligating fellow democrats to breathe look awesome. Well if you were following at the football, in the desert, in the shower. addressed to us? their second hand carcinogenic air. social media outlets, you may have noticed IT SEES YOU NAKED. Congratulations to the 14 volunteers of the SU Law Society Social Inclusion Committee that your Union Board is in a shamble or So here I go attempting to explain why we themed this issue Basically, smokers oblige other breathers to who, like freedom riders venturing into two. Last week it was announced that Board Directors Alistair Stephenson (Vice-President) in a few short paragraphs. In doing so, I attempt to explain breathe what they have already stuffed. It’s Mordor, last week risked life and limb, as and Ben Tang (Treasurer) were to be why, in the same few short paragraphs, music is newsworthy. It a hundred micro Oricas at Newcastle they journeyed across the plains Out West. saying ‘Breathe this! dismissed. This decision was handed down ain’t gon’ happen. According to SULS “The Trip”, to encourage by the Vice Chancellor Dr. Michael Spence in the poor ethnic year 9 students of Fairfield In short, music is important. Music is functional, traditional, response to their breach of regulations in the Basic point - smokers only have ‘a right’ to High to enter university, was an “undoubted experimental. It can be used to heal, to comfort, to celebrate. Sigur 2010 Union Board elections. smoke when with other smokers and when success”. I’m glad law degrees these days Ros sings us to sleep during times of great pain, Kool and the Gang in total air-isolation. Otherwise they are arm students with powers of clairvoyance - Let’s take a quick jog back to the beginning are with us when we raise our glasses after winning the Under 16s polluting fascist air thieves who obligate perhaps they do it by combining the force of of the year for a recap of events. The VC regional netball grand final, Calvin Harris makes us involuntarily me to breathe their toxins. Smoking is an all their MacBook Airs. attended a USU general meeting in March thrust our pelvis across a grimy d-floor. Music plays us through our inherently anti democratic activity - apart to announce that he was initiating an first birthday, out of a final Year 12 assembly, down the aisle, and from a heap of other things. I wonder if it occurred to our zealous investigation into purported breaches of plays us out when we finish our time. Mario’s ‘Let Me Love You’ is missionaries that their one off visit budget by Stephenson and Tang. Because even playing us through making this paper. City of Sydney should be legally liable spreading the gospel of Sydney Law made the case was not passed through the these students feel socially excluded rather Senate within the month subsequent to From the fast-paced shindigs of Rajasthan to the didge-fuelled for footpath, mall and doorway ingested than included. I suppose they feel their that Board meeting, it was assumed that stories of the Awabakal people of NSW, from the mixed beats of carcinogens and so should Senate for on token gesture, “The Trip” will live on in the the investigation had been dropped along NYC street-beatboxing to the plonky school band performances of campus smoke. Law 101! with Stephenson and Tang’s fears. Then five memory of those darling kids as a light in Hamilton South Primary, music is the storyteller that never crashes months later BAM, the two are informed by their dark, deprived days. Even if it doesn’t, on your couch. It parties on. Ivan Head the VC via email that they need to vacate ARTS 17 not all is lost - it’ll certainly stand out in the their Board positions. The constitution states There is a darker side to music, which rears its horrifying head every St Paul’s College memory of law firm recruiters. that the roles be filled by the two runners so often. Sound can be a terrifying weapon. Music was used as a up in the most recent election: welcome Nai Mina Nada means of torture in Guantanamo Bay, with Eminem albums cranked Brookes and Shane Treeves. to deafening levels. Music was regularly used in interrogations on Arts/Law V bases in Iraq and Afghanistan as a method of inducing disorientation But the Union is independent of the to get suspects to talk without inflicting physical damage. Music Letter about Chad University. How come Spence can do that? has also acted as a sheet throughout history, covering up terrible VC or VD? That’s a fine muthaflippin’ question. Section 21 of the USU’s constitution stipulates the truths and realities. German musicians were instructed to play in the Dear Honi, (not pictured) reserve powers of the Senate. This enables concentration camps of Nazi Germany, to keep spirits up. Famously, them to investigate into financial, operational a string quartet played the ship down when the Titanic struck the I can’t overestimate Dear Honi Soit, or electoral matters of the USU. Once an ‘berg. Music is powerful. how disgusted I am I write in reference to Chad Sidler’s general When I was three years old, my twin sister and I had a cassette tape with the VC’s ruling over the dismissal of the current Union Board Vice-President Alistair Secretary’s report last week. Pleased as I full to the B-side. This tape was the most cranked playlist I’ve ever was to see chad (pictured) in resplendent owned. The track list was as follows: Stephenson and Treasurer Ben Tang. black and white, I would like to answer some HI SOCIETY! Janet Jackson – Black Cat Yes, the electoral spending cap was of what he wrote. Midnight Oil – Blue Sky Mine exceeded in both cases. But anyone at all He describes the fact that the Council Midnight Oil – King of the Mountain aware of the inner workings of Union Board meeting on Wednesday 10 August Madonna – Holiday elections knows that until this year, such didn’t make quorum as “a shame, and Madonna – Vogue breaches were endemic to the electoral disheartening”. Perhaps he could have Madonna – La Isla Bonita process, and those who were “caught” in avoided this torrent of emotion if he’d, say, Madonna – Express Yourself 2010 were simply unlucky (Members who attended the meeting. Chad did not attend a Madonna – Cherish think Stephenson and Tang were the only meeting he was elected to. He should have Madonna – Like A Prayer candidates to ever break the spending cap had the integrity to be honest about that in are hugely mistaken.) This was a custom-made mixtape, hand-picked by the two of us, his article.

my parents didn’t even listen to Madonna. My sister and I just Unluckier, however, are USU members, As to the fact that “[Chad] is yet to have demanded a lot of Rage on early Saturday mornings. But that who now have to put up with a Board that anyone in favour of a closed campus policy mixtape was just about the most prized possession I had at 3 years is now composed of eight “newbies” and put their argument to me”, here are two old. Aside from my twin sister of course. only three experienced Directors rolling over good reasons for a closed campus: 1. Chad Here’s a thought. Take five today, crank your favourite tune in from 2010. Moreover, the dismissed Vice- would lose, 2. Students affected by the your room, ‘phones or automobile. Pick the tune that makes you President and Treasurer in particular were election should be the ones to determine as excited as a giddy schoolgirl being driven by parents to a first regarded as two of the most competent and the election. We should not allow students date, as courageous as a giddy schoolgirl going for a smooch on a motivated members of the Board, and their from other campuses (or ex-students from first date, or as mopey as a giddy schoolgirl being stood up on a loss will be felt deeply. further down the Major Party Conveyer Belt) first date. Nine times out of ten this tune is one you’ll never admit contribute to the success of a candidate, to anyone else for fear of social ridicule. But crank it, love it and There is no doubt that Dr. Spence will when they will not be affected by - and remember why music is wondrous. benefit from the removal of Stephenson likely do not understand - SRC elections. and Tang in the ongoing negotiations If a Presidential candidate - let’s call him And I still listen to Madonna. between the University and the USU. He Chad Sidler - cannot get the T-shirt wearers Music is important. It’s not a new thought. But music is often has created a Union Board that is volatile, and lecture-bashers he needs to win from glossed over in print, pushed to the back of the arts section like an unrepresentative of students’ interests, and the Usyd student body, that probably tells abandoned post-Christmas Shar-Pei puppy. You know it’s true. So significantly weaker than it was with Alistair us something about how well he would we’re turning our dials to eleven and infusing each page of Honi and Ben. represent us. with beats, notes and melodies aplenty. -- Aggravated USU Member Yours in truth and freedom, This week Honi has been inspired by tunes, brandished with sounds. Sorry we couldn’t fit your favourite artist on the cover. Anonymous. 4 Shannon Connellan " UNI vs. USU ROUND 3 HoniLeaks ANDY FRASER investigates a double dismissal. ANDY FRASER and JULIAN LARNACH are following There are various things in life that are investigation is authorised for a given you around on Google Earth. awkward. Picking your nose, food in the authority, the VC can make a determination It has been a difficult week for University Liberal Club to endorse teeth, pretending to be a moose. Then there on how to resolve the matter. The Board the Vice-Chancellor. With three James McLean in the upcoming SRC is prematurely blowing your load. That’s was also informed by the VC and its legal articles publishing USyd mishaps Presidential election. The motion pretty awkward (I’ve heard). Honi managed advisors that they had no right to an appeal. in the SMH alone, it must be got through. Does this mean that to publish a whole feature on the USU last As it stands, it looks like the decision won’t getting hot in that rich mahogany Chad is no longer running for week that didn’t include arguably the most be challenged and the Board is looking smelling quad office. One of two President? Does this mean he ate notable piece of campus news this year. This to move forward. Honi would like to take things could be happening, either the subway I left in the fridge? The was of course because our deadline occurred this opportunity to thank Stephenson and the USyd is indeed slipping down answer to both is unclear. Boring. campus prior to the news being leaked, but when Tang for the last 14 months and their solid the managerial slimy slope, or you’re published two days later it doesn’t dedication to our Union. someone from the SMH doesn’t Phoebe Drake and the Labor Left look awesome. Well if you were following really like us. Along with the repair contingent are running under the social media outlets, you may have noticed There are a few peculiarities surrounding of his air-conditioning, the VC name ‘Stand Up’. The following not that your Union Board is in a shamble or this event. The first of these: why did it take is looking to repair the scandal political bias but rather just a point two. Last week it was announced that Board 14 months for the VC to prosecute these found to be taking place in the of advice. If you see someone in Directors Alistair Stephenson (Vice-President) two Directors? Is it a strategic move in light IT department: a manager was purple saying ‘Stand up’ at the front and Ben Tang (Treasurer) were to be of recent negotiations, or is bureaucracy assigning university contracts worth of the lecture you’re only paying dismissed. This decision was handed down just causing intense latency issues within hundreds of thousands of dollars to half attention to, don’t stand up. by the Vice Chancellor Dr. Michael Spence in the University? Either way, the two were a company he owned. Then there response to their breach of regulations in the at a point where they had served for over is the outrage at the dismissal of On the subject on colours and 2010 Union Board elections. a year and just been crowned VP and the Vice-President and Treasurer politics, the Greens on Campus will Treasurer right before they were dismissed. of the Union (see left). Finally, in be running their own presidential Let’s take a quick jog back to the beginning What is even more unusual to know is the recent rankings of the top 500 candidate for SRC. Madison of the year for a recap of events. The VC that the two had already been penalised universities across the world, USyd Cartright will prove a spanner in the attended a USU general meeting in March for their actions in the 2010 election. has dropped four places down the works for independent candidate to announce that he was initiating an After the Board had found out about the list to a mildly embarrassing 96. Tim Matthews as well as Phoebe investigation into purported breaches of spending breaches, they had an external Drake. Greens are known to nab budget by Stephenson and Tang. Because assessor design appropriate penalties Just when he thought it couldn’t get votes from both these candidates’ the case was not passed through the based on the circumstances. These were as much worse, it didn’t. HA, psych. potential constituents. Senate within the month subsequent to follows: an official letter from the President The 2012 Good Universities guide that Board meeting, it was assumed that reprimanding the actions, ethic training released a few ratings of USyd, the Pat Massarani is running for the the investigation had been dropped along sessions at an ethics centre, an attachment more notable of which was 1/5 for undergraduate fellow on the with Stephenson and Tang’s fears. Then five to their file so that the information was teaching quality and 2/5 for Staff University of Sydney Senate. He’s months later BAM, the two are informed by integrated into any future reference and qualification. Getting a job was being endorsed by Labor Right, the VC via email that they need to vacate finally the docking of their pay by an rated as 2/5 but starting salary Chad Sidler and that smug guy you their Board positions. The constitution states appropriate amount. Considering that the was 5/5. It should be noted that don’t really like in your tutorial but that the roles be filled by the two runners VC new about these penalties, why were Research received 5/5 but all in all, can’t put a finger on why. He has up in the most recent election: welcome Nai they further penalised 14 months later? a relatively pathetic performance. run for the position before and Brookes and Shane Treeves. has lost. He has also run for Union The re-election of the VP and Treasurer are Chad “El Chaddo” Sidler put Board and lost. But the Union is independent of the to take place at a meeting this Friday. As it forward the motion for Sydney University. How come Spence can do that? stands, it looks like two first year Directors That’s a fine muthaflippin’ question. Section will be taking the newly opened positions. 21 of the USU’s constitution stipulates the This means that out of the four executive reserve powers of the Senate. This enables positions, three of them will be filled by Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney them to investigate into financial, operational first year directors. or electoral matters of the USU. Once an Want some work! HI SOCIETY! Polling Booth JULIAN LARNACH gets a SURG of radio enthusiasm.

One of my proudest memories at the institution.” SURG’s ambitions don’t University, right up there with my first match up with its reality however. If it’s only Attendants (and final) HD and getting to edit this on the air for three weeks a year how can rag each week, is in Orientation Week people get attached to programs and be 2009. I was scheduled for a two hour regular listeners? The answer lies in non- Required radio slot on the university radio station, traditional transmissions, says Koziol. “My SURG. I, along with my friends Shaun vote is for webcasting because you can tune and Max drank ten Coke Zeroes each in anwhere, and quite easily. There’s no real and maintained a constant update of point wasting money broadcasting on the The SRC is looking for people to how we were feeling in between songs air when you can just stream online and be and general banter. I couldn’t sleep for easily listened to on a laptop or iPhone” work on the polling booths for its a day, my stool could only be described as “salad bowl multiculturalism” but the Whether they evolve into a bigger entity or elections this year. radio produced was one of a kind. It’s remain the darling of the Holme Building memories like this that fill the minds of basements, SURG is here to stay and you If you can work on broadcasters on the Sydney University should tune in. Arghya “Bookie” Gupta, a Radio Group. SURG mainstay and former executive, sums Wed 21st Sept and/or Thurs 22nd Sept, it up nicely: “Radio is essentially you, and Broadcasting on a limited license during maybe a couple of others, in a room, trying and attend a training at 4pm Tues 20th Sept, O-Week and Verge Festival each year, to engage people who can’t communication the SURG outfit is very colourful. It’s with you. It’s a challenge if you think about we want to hear from you! a mix of seasoned vets and newbies: it, but when you do it naturally, it shouldn’t all swearing and assuring you the next matter. Whether you’re in the breaking $29.43 per hour song will change your life for an hour news box at the ABC, or in the labs at or so. There’s a constant joke of only Holme, you’ve got the same resources with There may also be an opportunity to undertake having three listeners but it’s this kind potentially the same audience. Even if no additional work at the vote count of pressure-free environment that one is listening, it is the best practice for Application forms are available from the SRC Front Office produces great, and if not great, original when someone might be.” (Level 1 Wentworth Building). shows. You’re not going to find anything For more info, call 9660 5222 or email [email protected]. on the air that is conventional as it’s GETTING INVOLVED proudly unprofessional. Applications close 4pm, 7th September 2011 Passively: During the Verge Festival, be President Michael Koziol believes the sure to SURG broadcast listen to 91.5 FM! aspirational role and aim for SURG is to become another wing of the student Aggressively: Email [email protected] media. “American universities have Authorised by Stephen Lesslie, SRC Electoral Officer 2011. been doing this for ages: it’s part of Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney: 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au 5 "

ARTS REVUE SCIENCE COMMERCEQUEER

campus ARCHITECTURE REVIEWMED L AW

ENGINEERING ARTS REVUE: OREDUCATION HOW AND WESOCIAL LEARNT WORK TO LOVE AGAIN JULIAN VAN DER ZEE found artistic ambition. OLD MAN HING - more like Lemon, Whine and Bitter. The words ‘ambition’ and ‘arts student’ seem a ‘cowboy dog’ was completely unjustified and The Sydney University Arts Revue has always There were probably too many songs. Rob to be unlikely bedfellows, but they came entirely brilliant. had a special place in my heart, and 2011 was Johnson, Jane Watt and Victoria Nelson’s lovely together with an undeniable chemistry in this I think the eigth Arts Revue I’ve seen. This voices did little to cover the jokeless tunes. This year’s Arts Revue. If the absence of a pun- All the musical numbers had a fantastically ‘big’ year’s theme was love and romance, and that was sadly thematic of many sketches in the show, title was not hint enough that this revue was sound and Roman Benedict deserved special broad yet persistent self-imposed boundary where performance struggled under the weight going to be very different from past offerings, recognition for his arrangements. Highlights forced the revue to experiment a lot with the of poorly written scripts. Particularly indicative of other indications might be the doubling of included ‘Student Elections’ and ‘Hardcore form lest they find themselves rehashing fairly this were the ditties about ice creams which didn’t cast size from last year, moving to the Everest Broadway’. well trodden ground. appear to have a recognisable joke outside of Theatre and the inclusion of an onstage band listing ice creams, and the sketch that can only be While far from perfect, The Arts Revue or How The more ambitious sketches are where the that even found time to include a French Horn described as the unnecessary rape pirate (though We Learned to Love Again was clearly a labour production shined. Laurence Rosier Staines’ solo. Sexy. please don’t extrapolate from this that I believe of love for all those involved. The directors, cast, Professor of Love and Logic character was there exists some sort of necessary rape pirate). Memorable characters included an delusional musicians and crew should be proud of their particularly strong, as was Michael Richardson stage mother, a jaded nightclub singer, a efforts. The attempt to create genuinely heart- hiding in a bin for twenty minutes and Pat Overall, the show was fairly slick, often funny lovesick Cupid and an eccentric professor warming moments at the expense of disposable Byrnes and Harry Milas’ terminal illness and had its share of great moments. Given that who, in stripping love down its most abstract comedy should also be applauded; some food series. In contrast, the scripts of the less many of these people are doing comedy for the form, may have even taught us a thing or two for thought for other revues perhaps? brave offerings were not strong enough to first time, I probably shouldn’t be such a negative about philosophical reasoning (‘Julie loves keep their pedestrian conceits funny; Blind jerk about it all. Still, they gotta learn some me, but I love Estelle, that would be perfect, Oh, did I mention there was a man dressed as a Date, Swearing Child and Eiffel Tower were time, or the revues’ll end up producing another but love isn’t transitive’). A scene featuring dog dressed as a cowboy? inoffensive at best. awful The Chaser. law REVUE: the socially awkward network CONOR BATEMAN is completely biased. JULIAN VAN DER ZEE lays down the law. Full disclosure: I am a Law student. Also: I didn’t it comes from. The law jokes were limited This year’s Law Revue was sometimes very Darwin (‘when a human fights a chicken it wins need to be a Law student to notice that this and instead this scattershot approach to funny, sometimes cringe-inducing and nine out of ten times’). is probably the best revue that will come out everything was taken. And, in a rare feat, the sometimes plain offensive. The compulsory nude sketch was unmemorable this year. I’m not saying that it didn’t have its scattershot seemed to hit a lot of targets, even The show’s guerilla-style comedy approach (later I could not actually recall what the sketch problems; it did. The opening and closing songs when shot through a cappella. proved advantageous for weaker, quickly- was about). Given the clash of the Law and Arts were pretty bad and detracted from the rest of The band, as seems to be a trend with forgotten sketches, but was problematic for Revues, Law Revuers would have missed out on the show. Some of the songs within the show revues, was on fine form, allowing skits to good sketches that would often end just when the inspired nudity of the Arts Revue ‘Ye Olde could have used some better lyrics. Some skits flow smoothly from one to the next with the things were getting interesting. Spice’ parody which worked because it was ran way longer than they deserved to and others punchlines carried on through the music. Once incidental to the sketch, not its focus. seemed criminally cut short. But when a revue is Hammy acting was the most frustrating aspect more, an individual shout out must be made. hitting an 80:20 ratio of funny to not-funny skits, of the show, with projection into the audience The band was the best thing about the revue, Sam Farrell very nearly steals this show for it’s a rarity. rarely coming across as natural. However, delivering fantastic covers, including The Nanny himself. Every scene he was in was fantastic this approach was ideal for the high-energy, opening theme. Other impressive musical The smaller cast was a fantastic choice by this and, what I assume to be a character of his impressively choreographed musical numbers performances included Meriana Gyory’s quirky year’s directors and producers.Allowing all of the own creation, a hankerchief wielding man, was (‘Dance/Revolt like an Egyptian’ and ‘[Eddie] song about being in a relationship with a Yeti and cast members plenty of time on stage seemed the funniest thing I have even seen on that Mabo No. 5’), but many sketches would have Anna Colless’s powerhouse performance as the to accurately reflect that this really was a group Seymour stage. been better served if cast members had left Monacan Princess who had repeatedly tried to flee effort. The choreography was second to none. Yes, The Socially Awkward Network was a their ‘dance-faces’ on the dance floor. from fiancée Prince Albert II (awkward!). Tori Grimshaw and Em Hartman gave this show pretty terrible title and concept for this show. better dances than any revue deserves to have. Acting concerns aside, the show had some Despite some great ideas and obvious talent, Not just because it didn’t really fit at all, but The video skits were short and punchy, the very fine moments including a Shakespearian judicious editing would have made the whole show because it didn’t do any justice to what was political satire had some bite and it was not, gangster rap (‘bubbles! A word I invented!’), less bloated and overlong. Overall an entertaining a thoroughly entertaining comedy show that thankfully, a revue bogged down by the faculty a deadpan OZ Lotto-truck driver discussing show with just enough uncomfortable moments didn’t even need a story or idea to stick to. his delivery technique and a wacky Charles for awkward turtle to appear. EDUCATION AND SOCIAL WORK REVUE: GLADIATAR TOM CLEMENT could teach them a thing or two. CONOR BATEMAN learnt a thing or two. I wish I hadn’t seen this show on closing night The show had the funniest Julia Gillard skit I’ve seen The 2011 Education and Social Work Some of the musical numbers were just because had I seen it earlier, I would have thus far and the finale really worked completely with Revue Gladi-ATAR was, completely wicked too, ‘Hipster’s Paradise’ and recommended it to everyone I know. The the show. It also was successful in its non-educational surprisingly, not the same horrifying ‘Quattro Boom on Strings’ to name a Education and Social Work Revue was the big sketches, particularly a fantastic hipster rap. The usage venture as last year. I’ll be honest, I went couple. The election song was great as surprise of this revue season because it was as of the Reginald Theatre in the Seymour—a smaller into this show expecting the worst, and well, and made a few stabs at our current funny as the Law Revue despite having none of venue—turned out to be a big advantage, as it was a was pleasantly surprised. This cast has USU Board (even though the song was the budget. lot more intimate and allowed for some great lighting cut out most of the crap, and brought out about the SRC...). effects, like the instantaneous creation of a fashion Gladi-ATAR succeeded because it was genuinely what could be considered mild humour. runway. Unlike the bigger revues, the music for the But I couldn’t help but feel the whole entertaining and very well written. The cast of show was performed by the actors on stage and this I generally hate revues with a storyline. experience was just a very good dress 13 meant that everyone got a sizable amount resulted in some fantastic sketches including a classical It’s nigh on impossible to get humour into rehearsal. It’s hard with such a small of stage time and, luckily for the audience, all rendition of the Vengaboys classic “Boom Boom a cohesive story, and Gladi-ATAR was no cast and no band to get the feel and vibe of them could act. The writing was superb for Boom Boom”. exception. The best parts of the show that you get from the bigger revues. On a revue; not only was there a great sense of were in between the stories: Public School the downside, with no Women’s Revue consistency and regularity but this revue took In only its second year, the Education and Social Work Students, punctuated names, Julia’s this year, they might be the worst revue big risks in terms of scene times, with some Revue has shown that we shouldn’t only see the big elephant, career attire and uniform debate of the season. However, for a second sketches running up to 5 minutes without a revues each year, but perhaps expand our horizons so were definitely some of the highlights. year revue, Education has done a great lapse in quality. Where other revues can rely too we can find little gems like this one. However, finding an arts degree in a cereal job. They’ll be back next year, and it’s all heavily on a single punchline, the scenes here box was pretty predictable. uphill from here. developed characters and relatable scenarios. The direction was likewise fantastic and the show 6 flowed very well. E Why the Sony warehouse News In BRIDIE CONNELLAN takes a look at the repercussions of Briefs QUEER fire matters. musical malevolence. JAMES COLLEY is willing to give On the night of Monday 15th August, the chaos of the concurred with some less sympathetic commentators, London riots thrashed a major chord. As flames licked the acknowledging their thankfulness of little human harm. you headlines. sky, the British independent music industry realised the However the label is nonetheless devastated by their loss, A raging storm in Belgium has brought down a relentless nature of a fireball riot and the impact of mindless including stock of the latest Arctic Monkeys album Suck stage at the Pukkelpop music festival. Five people civil rage. Nestled in the London suburb of Enfield, the three- It And See, issuing a statement reading: “While relieved died and 140 were injured. The footage was storey Sony DADC/PIAS music distribution warehouse was that no-one was injured in the incident, we’re upset about captured on video and has circulated around burnt to the ground by three spiteful teenagers, incinerating the loss and destruction of our stock, and thinking of our YouTube. This occurred less than a week after the 3.25 million units of stock from over 200 independent record friends at other independent labels who were also affected Indiana state fair, where another five were killed OLD MAN HING - more like Lemon, Whine and Bitter. labels and film companies, including Matador, Warp, 4AD, by the fire. We are currently working hard with Sony by a stage collapse. There is nothing whimsical to say about this. Some things are just sad. There were probably too many songs. Rob Rough Trade, Young Turks, Domino, Wall of Sound, Thrill DADC to maintain our release schedule and keep business Johnson, Jane Watt and Victoria Nelson’s lovely Jockey, Drowned In Sound, XL, Sub Pop Jagjaguwar, Drag going as usual.” In a bittersweet twist of fate, the only voices did little to cover the jokeless tunes. This City, and a batch of worldwide independent favourites. surviving stock from the blaze was a stash of twenty CDs of The ABC was rocked by a truly tragic day last Thursday when a helicopter crash left three was sadly thematic of many sketches in the show, Oregonian rockers Quasi, a group signed to Domino. Keep The industry was floored. Beggars Group for example those babies in a fireproof safe now. veteran employees dead. Paul Lockyer, Gary where performance struggled under the weight (including labels Matador, XL, Rough Trade, 4AD, True Ticehurst and John Bean were all killed when the of poorly written scripts. Particularly indicative of Panther, Young Turks and Too Pure) lost everything. That’s Haters, I dare you to Google the blaze. YouTube footage helicopter they were filming in crashed near Lake this were the ditties about ice creams which didn’t 750,000 copies of albums comprising their entire UK stock, of 3.25 million units of stock, records, films and products Eyre on Thursday night. At the time of writing appear to have a recognisable joke outside of a reproduction task three months in the making. Like Jamie made by artists with little to no income from record sales, the cause of the crash is unknown, and may be listing ice creams, and the sketch that can only be Oliver’s restaurant, local stores and a swathe of family is devastating. Bulbous clouds of smoke and flame engulf unknown for some time. Adding to this already described as the unnecessary rape pirate (though businesses, the Sony warehouse fire was an angry attack on the night sky, hardly destroying a throwaway Crazy Frog heartbreaking situation: ABC television pioneer Ian please don’t extrapolate from this that I believe an undeserving group of individuals and businesses, where cuts but the unique efforts of over 200 independent Carroll succumbed to pancreatic cancer. there exists some sort of necessary rape pirate). lawlessness took the place of reason in a plea of poverty. labels and musicians. Don’t be distracted by the Sony Overall, the show was fairly slick, often funny Damn the man, blaze the Empire. masthead, distribution is not the same as label funding; Bob Katter said an awful thing about a group of and had its share of great moments. Given that distribution involves marketing, selling, shipping and people he doesn’t understand. The world kept on The problem is not replacing the latest Arctic Monkeys delivering stock to retailers and record stores, while the spinning. news many of these people are doing comedy for the or Battles single discs, or at least not the major problem. first time, I probably shouldn’t be such a negative bankroll to create, record, master, produce, design and The creative and economic devastation comes with the press a record comes from the label itself. Sony and PIAS jerk about it all. Still, they gotta learn some destruction of back catalogues, in Warp’s case 21 years At another anti-carbon tax rally on Tuesday Tony are essentially commissioned salesmen who have (or had) a Abbott received a rock star welcome, which is time, or the revues’ll end up producing another worth of releases and rare LPs which they say, “may never awful The Chaser. warehouse to rent. depressing enough already. The rally featured be available physically again.” In an era when physical record large placards sprouting phrases “ditch the witch” sales are a challenge in themselves, this kind of setback is There’s a light in this: as of Friday last week PIAS partnered and the classic “Ju-LIAR”. There was also a Marie godawful. As the Irish Times asked, “How do you survive with London based Proper Music Distribution to resume Antoinette poster with Gillard’s face and the words while you’re waiting for insurance to come through and trade and the teens responsible have been arrested and “Let them eat carbon”, a phrase that would make JULIAN VAN DER ZEE lays down the law. when you have no stock to sell?” charged for their actions. As PIAS founder and CEO Kenny a lot more sense if carbon wasn’t contained in Gates announced, “We can now fully focus on supporting literally every food. Abbott was quick to distance Darwin (‘when a human fights a chicken it wins Lucky for the labels, the independent sector is one of our labels beyond resolving the immediate logistical issues himself from these posters by delivering a speech nine out of ten times’). support and men-at-arms when their chips are down. Over and ensure we all come out of this stronger and more in front of them while saying that he “didn’t £250,000 was donated through an emergency relief fund necessarily agree with them.” The compulsory nude sketch was unmemorable resilient than ever before.” With the British independent within three days of the fire through initatives from PIAS, music industry linking arms and making good of such an (later I could not actually recall what the sketch the Association for Independent Music, British Phonographic was about). Given the clash of the Law and Arts unfair destruction, the resilience of such a self-funded Labor MP Craig Thomson definitely didn’t use his Industry, and fundraising initiatives Label Love and Music credit card to pay for an escort service. Definitely Revues, Law Revuers would have missed out on group of music businesses is admirable to say the least Indie. not. He paid for something else instead. There is the inspired nudity of the Arts Revue ‘Ye Olde and indestructible to say the most. Now, go and stick on a physical CD and appreciate the distro chain that brought it no possible way that Labor MP Craig Thomson Spice’ parody which worked because it was However a large amount of the backlash against concern for used his credit card to pay for an escort ser- Wait. to your living room. You never know when it could all go up incidental to the sketch, not its focus. these consumer goods has argued that upset over the fire is Yeah. That story is crumbling as we speak and a superficial. Domino Records, home to the Arctic Monkeys, in smoke. police investigation is now under way. Sextacular! The band was the best thing about the revue, delivering fantastic covers, including The Nanny opening theme. Other impressive musical TOM LEE gives his own two cents on the ideological conflict performances included Meriana Gyory’s quirky The Arab Spring behind a physical conflict. song about being in a relationship with a Yeti and Anna Colless’s powerhouse performance as the “It is pleasant,” Lucretius once wrote, decent economic growth. This is lasting A gut-wrenching few days followed. French jet appearing on the horizon. Monacan Princess who had repeatedly tried to flee “when the sea is high and the wind is proof that there is only so long people The world watched as an armoured Then an American. Then a British. All of from fiancée Prince Albert II (awkward!). dashing the waves about, to watch from will put up with the corruption and column issued forth from Tripoli, them fanging it to Libya, winging justice the shores the struggles of another.” cronyism inherent in dictatorship. grinding towards Benghazi, and the to Benghazi’s democrats. Gaddafi’s jets Despite some great ideas and obvious talent, And it is particularly pleasant when one There is a certain dignity that comes UN and the nations that comprise it were blown out of the sky; the killers judicious editing would have made the whole show of the combatants is someone we can with refusing to be placated by the debated over whether an intervention and the rapists were scorched to death less bloated and overlong. Overall an entertaining relate to, such as a group of earnest petty material comfort afforded by the was really worth it. There was a strong as their tanks and APCs were reduced to show with just enough uncomfortable moments democrats with the gumption to rebel dregs of oil wealth and instead getting sentiment amongst the democracies flaming cauldrons. for awkward turtle to appear. against a brutal dictator. This is what is out on the public square to protest for that we ought to back a democratic so profound about the Arab Spring, and fundamental political rights and an end brother up against Gaddafi, who went Benghazi was esctatic. It’s citizens Libya in particular. It’s not just another to the regime which has lorded it over on the record promising ‘no mercy’. poured out into the public square and boring ethnic or religious conflict. It’s you for more than forty years, and Libya A few pissweak politicians argued unfurled super size flags of the chief a mass liberal democratic uprising, has taken it up with gusto. it wasn’t worth the effort, but the NATO countries in a heartfelt gesture brought about by and led in the main right minded were convinced when it of thanks. Images of the stars and The show had the funniest Julia Gillard skit I’ve seen by educated young people who have Dictatorships hold power by instilling became clear that it boiled down to a stripes, the French tricolour and the fear in the people they rule and the union jack adorning the walls of an thus far and the finale really worked completely with seen how great life is the Western simple choice of whether to allow a city problem for Arab dictators is that Arab city were surreal to behold. But the show. It also was successful in its non-educational democracies and want the same for full of revolutionary democrats to be their own. And the free world is doing ‘the fear is waning’, as Waleed Aly massacred by an unhinged dictator’s there it was. It was a superb example sketches, particularly a fantastic hipster rap. The usage observed in July’s Monthly. But it hasn’t of liberal internationalism and one the of the Reginald Theatre in the Seymour—a smaller a bit more than just watching and death squads, or not. well-wishing from afar—we intervened been for lack of trying. Gaddafi has West can feel rightly pretty good about. venue—turned out to be a big advantage, as it was a to save our fellow liberals when they gone to monstrous extremes to try So after weeks of deliberation and One of the stronger arguments against lot more intimate and allowed for some great lighting were on the brink of annihilation, and and rekindle the fear: heavy machine telvised horror an epic three way was intervention was that it would indirectly effects, like the instantaneous creation of a fashion we continue to provide assistance in guns and tanks turned on crowds of teed up between Obama, Sarkozy and assist radical Islamic groups suppressed runway. Unlike the bigger revues, the music for the their effort to defeat their dictator, unarmed protestors, the same unarmed Cameron and it was decided that NATO by Gaddafi; that a secular dictator is show was performed by the actors on stage and this Muammar Gaddafi, who continues to protesters strafed by helicopters and would cruise into the Med, establish preferable to a renaissance of anti- resulted in some fantastic sketches including a classical cling power. jets; men and boys were and continue a No Fly Zone and kick some arse in West Islamic hostility as a lesser of two rendition of the Vengaboys classic “Boom Boom to be arbitrarily detained and tortured, order to defend the civilian population. evils. And it has to be said, there are a The democratic rebellion in Libya, government troops were directly To their credit, when such a motion few disturbingly shaggy Islamist beards Boom Boom”. and the Arab Spring as a whole, are ordered to rape women. It was an all- was put to the Security Council neither kicking round the rebel’s ranks. But In only its second year, the Education and Social Work confirmation and vindication of liberal out assault on a fledgling civil society China or Russia vetoed it. All of a we rolled the dice on the rebels, and Revue has shown that we shouldn’t only see the big universalism: people everywhere yearn by a regime that detests the idea of civil sudden, after being totally discredited even if Libya’s liberals come off second revues each year, but perhaps expand our horizons so for a democratic political community society. But despite having the odds by its failure to prevent a clutch of best to Islamic conservatives in a post- underwritten by social and economic stacked against them and suffering preventable massacres and genocides Gaddafi electoral contest, having played we can find little gems like this one. liberalism, or put simply —freedom. appalling losses in the early stages of in the 1990s, the UN was back in the an indispensable part in allowing that Libyans have issued a striking rebuke the conflict, people kept coming back to game. election to take place is of immense to the view that people don’t mind demonstrate against the regime. value. And it’ll be that much harder for missing out on political rights as long as Then NATO eventually struck, almost extremists to hate on the West as anti- godlike. It began auspiciously with a 7 an authoritarian regime can maintain Islam.

BORING ...... BORING OPERA IS NOT BORING ... OPERA IS NOT MUSIC ETIQUETTE One of my One of my favourite Yiddish maxims Jews three you have if that stipulates opinions, will be four there in the room this truer than when was and never The same person discussing Wagner. his ability for passionately will argue contribute the opera, reinvigorate to of our understanding enormously to us with leave experience, the theatrical symphonic of game-changing a legacy literature, influence music and broadly and visual art, while in the philosophy denouncing his hyperbolic same breath pomp and excessive orchestration, to exhausting plotting. It’s hysterical debt more think about. He had affairs, handle and a tendency than he could and disturbance chaos cause to he went. wherever There are lots of reasons for this man for lots of reasons are There the dustbin to been consigned have to performed he persists, yet of history, band and with a dedicated worldwide productions who track of followers the globe. around operas of Wagner don’t rule the world Either the Jews a know just they likely, more far – or, see one. when they drama good years of labour: from humble beginnings humble beginnings from of labour: years Girls in girl group eight age at rapping than more has dedicated Beyoncé Tyme, her thang to shaking to decades two she might And, though the top. to get for out the lingerie in breaking delight her crown she has claimed video clips, without the with dignity and humility, This video releases. night-cam any appeal transcends Beyoncé’s is why both men and to boundaries, speaking for and serving as a template women, mainstream. in the talent Swift’s all up in Taylor got When Kanye Video Female winning Best grill for the 2009 MTV Video at Beyoncé over shocked was Beyoncé Music Awards, the overall and appalled. Then she won We Typical. anyway. Video award Best on feet two keeping for Beyoncé admire of fame the wave despite the ground pretention. easily ride to she could that the success, donating She spreads her and admits to charity, to generously talking openly human qualities, own that with depression about her struggle of her teens years the late stretched her attributes She and early twenties. support of her the steadfast to recovery her manager was her father and family, remains untainted She year. last until fame and loves of the temptations by privileges the not for ‘cause, just Jay-Z with marrying the King come might that She’s of Hip Hop. She doesn’t need to. royalty. already of our time, and a is an icon Beyoncé to right every Ten. And she has definite that. be just

Beyoncé is a Ten is Beyoncé RICHARD WAGNER RICHARD LIFE CRITIC: CRITIC: LIFE REBECCA SAFFIR smites an anti-semite. REBECCA SAFFIR smites an anti-semite. everything For Wagner. Richard Poor of the development advance he did to form, music and the operatic classical from the away no getting just there’s Like Jew-hater. a big, he was fat fact and would before came who so many than was more Tricky Dicky after, come his by the success of a little bothered and so fell contemporaries, Jewish popular line of ever using the to prey and run the world, the Jews argument: not the quality of this reason, it is for success. gain they their work, a closer kept should have Richard his to listening on who was eye The heady mix of his mouthing off. people of the Semite for distaste melodies and his rousing Germany for one Adolf irresistible rather proved chivvied dozens who famously Hitler, Nazi officials along of high-ranking of his epic operas, performances to also bloody their chagrin. It’s to rather as things turned because, inconvenient of the 20th of the maestros out, many be turned out to centuries and 21st know) you world, rule the (they Jewish in the unenviable stuck and they’re to balance the need position of trying music ever some of the best play to get might they fact that with the written doing so (did I mention for threats death run the world?). the Jews has a massive crush on R&B’s first lady. first crush on R&B’s has a massive BULSECO NEADA arrogance, and her fame is the fruits of and her fame arrogance, The One to Ten rating system is system rating Ten The One to one at all employed we’ve something lovers indulged We’ve time or another. as Fives; exes in Nines or put down and an Eight least all at friends are your a chance in doesn’t have enemy your This hitting the mid-range. hell of ever extreme. to the is subjective system is one universally there Nevertheless Ten. When signifier of a recognised potahto. say might you potato, I say a babe” “Beyoncé’s But when I say, is a babe!” Then we “Beyoncé say you bust ‘Single Ladies’ and brazenly blast our booties. 10, or Not number is a Ten. Beyoncé takes place; she tenth in sitting modestly claim with the international out the gold Ten to in the One rating the highest to beautiful and talented, She’s system. to a voice got She’s undeniably sexy. and woo to (or with), hips to in love fall Most spot of Forbes’ claimed the top Musician in the and Influential Powerful four has released 2010. Beyoncé World, eight in the past albums as a solo artist of 13 Grammys a total in raking years, six in one (including a record-breaking in 2008) I Am... Sasha Fierce for night 75 million records and selling over doesn’t qualify If that as a worldwide. two for also been nominated she’s Ten, turning 30. Golden Globes. All before youth Ten also has Ms. the ultimate Yep, on her side. an ultimate like read CV might Beyoncé’s Ten as a classification but her fantasy, the appeal of her from also derives as strikes Her charisma never approach. is the fruits of and her fame arrogance, lectoral he e Postcode: For more informationFor more contact Authorised by Stephen Lesslie, SRC Electoral Officer 2011. Stephen Lesslie, Electoral Officer 02 9660 5222 Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Phone: 02 9660 5222 www.src.usyd.edu.au Students’ Representative election Regulation consider that the stated stated the that consider Regulation fficer must under section 20(a) of the election o justifies the issuing of a postal vote.) reason State: a copy of the election edition of Honi Soit: YES / NO I require Signature: Please send voting papers to the following address: (please be specific. Vague or facetious reasons will not be accepted. t Vague or facetious (please be specific. POSTAL VOTING POSTAL unable to elections but are If you wish to vote in the 2011 SRC 22nd 21st or Thursday vote EITHER on polling days Wednesday locations, OR on pre-polling September at any of the advertised you may apply then 20th September, day (on main campus) Tuesday for a postal vote. Fill in this form and send it to: Electoral Officer Council Sydney University Students’ Representative MUST BE RECEIVED AND Please note: postal vote applications NSW 2007. PO Box 794, Broadway of August at 4.30pm or they will IN OUR PO BOX by Friday 26th No exceptions. not be considered. a photocopy of this form. may use You Name of applicant: Number: Student Card Faculty/Year: Phone Number: ( ) Email: Mobile: postal vote for the 2010 SRC elections. I declare apply for a I hereby that I am unable to attend a polling booth on any of the polling days, for the following reason: days, OR on any of the pre-polling Application FormApplication Postal Voting Postal SRC Elections 2011 Elections SRC Students’ Representative Council, The University of Sydney of Sydney University The Council, Representative Students’

FARRAGO R be just that. definite Ten. Andshehas every right to Beyoncé isanicon ofourtime,anda already royalty. of HipHop.Shedoesn’tneedto. She’s that might come theKing withmarrying Jay-Z just ‘cause, notfor theprivileges by thetemptations of fame andloves until last year. She remains untainted family, andherfather was hermanager recovery to thesteadfast supportofher and earlytwenties. She attributes her stretched thelate years ofherteens about herstruggle withdepression that own humanqualities, talking openly generously to charity, andadmitsto her She spreads thesuccess,donating that shecould easilyrideto pretention. the ground despite thewave offame admire Beyoncé for keeping two feet on Best Videoaward anyway. Typical. We and appalled.Thenshewon theoverall Music Awards, Beyoncé was shocked over Beyoncé at the2009MTV Video grill for winningBest Female Video When Kanye got allupinTaylor Swift’s talent inthemainstream. women, asatemplate andserving for boundaries, speakingto bothmenand is why Beyoncé’s appealtranscends any night-cam videoreleases. This with dignityandhumility, withoutthe video clips, shehasclaimedhercrown delight inbreaking outthelingerie for get to thetop. And,thoughshemight two decades to shakingherthangto Tyme, Beyoncé hasdedicated more than rapping at age eight ingirlgroup Girls years oflabour:from humblebeginnings good drama whenthey seeone. – or, far more likely, they just know a Either theJews don’truletheworld of Wagner operas around theglobe. of followers whotrack productions worldwide andwithadedicated band of history, yet hepersists, performed to have beenconsigned to thedustbin There are lotsofreasons for thisman wherever hewent. to cause chaosanddisturbance than hecould handleandatendency think about.Hehadaffairs, more debt hystericalIt’s plotting. exhausting to orchestration, excessive pompand same breath denouncinghishyperbolic philosophy andvisualart, whileinthe music andbroadly influence literature, a legacy ofgame-changing symphonic the theatrical experience, leave uswith enormously to ourunderstanding of to reinvigorate theopera, contribute will argue passionately for hisability discussing Wagner. Thesameperson and never was thistruerthanwhen in theroom there willbefour opinions, stipulates that if you have three Jews maxims Yiddish favourite One ofmy MUSIC ETIQUETTE OPERA ISNOT BORING... this guyinparticular isperhaps one of Perry’s Firework. Admittingthat truth to I simplywasn’t. Iwas listening to Katy or even something indieandobscure, listening to something ghetto, like Biggie, much asIwanted to pretend that Iwas and asked mewhat Iwas listening to. As gave measmirkandheartynudge a particularly rough looking young man months backwhenIwas onabusand loud. Icame to thisrealisation a few bus wholistens to hismusicway too I amThat Guy. Iamthat guyonthe @fucktyler: IfTegan AndSara NeedSomeHard DickHitMeUp! beef withtoo. from hisbrutally succinctresponse, has Goblin. Anobjectionthat Tyler, judging of hislatest andmost publicisedalbum violence ofsomethelyrical content the blatant homophobia,misogyny and objects -andunderstandably so-to hop now, G’s) withTyler isthat she by Sara. Herbeef (yeah we talkin’ hip- fashion, to “A CallFor Change” posted was aresponse, intrademark smack-talk Kill ThemAll(orOddFuture for short).It collectivehip-hop Odd Future Wolf Gang controversial andundeniablytalented the undeniablyoffensive, undeniably du jour, Tyler theCreator, leaderof tweeter inquestion: hip-hop“itboy” it unleashedearlierthisyear. The missed thesocialmediashitstorm Tegan andSara, thenyou must have indie-darlings andlesbiantwinsisters, to initiate athreesome withCanadian and ultimately misguided very attempt a sexually-aggressive, over-capitalised If that tweet reads asnothingmore than there are still sceptics. Yes,themore This shouldnotbeasurprisebut really are very good. find the good ones,andthe good operas 80% ofany genre isterrible. You needto covers everything is,at best, foolishness; other words. Butto thinkthat this everything inAriadneaufNaxos, in in alugubriousmonotone. Basically spot intoning somewitlessmonologue wearing Viking helmets standing inone Italian menandfatter German women to contrived plotdevelopments, fat hours, implausibleemotional reactions think ofdrama-free stories that last for monocles inchampagneglasses.We suit-wearing eldercitizens losingtheir think ofoperas we picture pretentious our age don’tlike operas. Whenwe There are very real reasons that people JACK GOW can’t stop themusic!Nobodycan stop themusic! Nickleback; naturally, Iwanted someone office myboss wasloudlysinging along to of me.For example, the other day inthe other people’s musicirritates thehell out There are often instances in my life when The wholeepisodegot methinking. this particularlychallenging. delinquent andmasculineyouth. Ifound potentially bedeemed camp orgirly by a avoided selectingany tracks that could the window, lowered thevolume and He wasn’t impressed soIturnedtowards the braver things Ihave doneinmy time. person andthecharacter they adopt is persona. Thisdistinction between the the rapper asaperson, andtheirrap but incredibly important, linebetween think themainfactor rests onthethin, Though thereasons are manifold I did there)? hop cop suchabadrap (seewhat I ideas are around. Why thendoeship- even adifferent genre, thesenegative Expressed viaadifferent medium,or themes are notuniqueto hip-hop. misogynistic andhomophobic,butthese be, andsadlyalltoo often is, violent, offensive. Sure the content matter can about hip-hopthat peoplefindso did get methinkingaboutwhat itis Breivik. However, thiswholeepisode little consideration asamusical Anders Tyler regularly spoutswithaboutas any oftheobjectionablelyrics that the homophobicor, for that matter, it clearthat Iaminnoway defending these murkydepths, Iwant to make Now, before we venture any furtherinto a woman)! The story isbasically about A sexually overactive youth (played by Count! Schemingbutlers andservants! archetypes they beginas.Alecherous fuller thantheCommediadell’Arte characters, allofwhichare much of Figaro). Itis hard notto like the Mozart’s LeNozze diFigaro are few that are quite asaccessible comedies, and ofthecomedies there The easiest way inisperhaps viathe excellent entertainment. while others are just goddamned are good candidates for ‘best artever’, minimal haughtiness) that someoperas me tell you withnoexaggeration (and it works you really noticeit.Andlet + theatre isalways arisk,butwhen more you’re inviting trouble. Music ambitious you get withart forms, the (Marriage JACK FREESTONE listens withoutatuningknife andfork The world isnever going to befree total control oftheiPod playlist. often thedrunkpartyguest that demands volume onpublictransport, Iamalso as listening to my iPod at anobnoxious music inoneway oranother. Aswell We allsubjectourpeers to ourtaste in endless hours ofjazzguitar recordings. childhood my father subjected meto be spent inpleasant silence.Throughout hinders my enjoyment oftimethat could work thecrackle ofcommercial radio to shootmeintheface. Every day at (despite overtures originallybeing doors are now closedfor overtures entertainment ofthetime.That iswhy many operas were just thenightly form wheninactualfact‘high art’ is that it’s beenmadeinto anisotropic Perhaps theworst thingaboutopera happening really well. and thisisagreat example ofthat medium where itcan allcome together emotion ofthecharacters, opera isa situations andthe genuine warmth and the energetic melodies,the farcical (and Imeaneverything). Butbeyond same several cadences ineverything managed to soundsogood withthe it iscontinually baffling how Mozart it’s winningasacomedy. Musically, sudden shiftsinpriorities,soalready adultery, hare-brained schemesand BORING appreciate anactor playing acharacter ‘hood) butinthesameway that we sell more albumsifthey think you’re surrounding thesepersonas (you’ll for itspropagation ofthe myths wife. Hip-hopitselfispartlyto blame really doeswant to murder hisex- no trouble believing that Eminem eat your face, we somehow have Anthony Hopkinsactuallywants to to runaround scalping Nazisorthat believe that Quentin Tarantino wants Though we would never seriously from othermedia. accountability that we donotexpect matter of rap music to alevel of it isstrange that we holdthecontent expression.“honest” Butnevertheless medium where theaudienceexpects personality ofthemusician, anda an industry dependent uponthe it isananomalyofmusic.This when itcomes to hip-hop.Perhaps the lineseemsparticularlyblurred vague across allgenres ofmusicbut ... BORING ... song, it’ssong, fuckingfiction.” “don’t doanything that Isay inthis himself says onhistrack ‘Radicals’: should bejudged assuch.AsTyler their actions, at least inlyrical form, these personae are characters and brings mebackto my originalpoint: Prince thanfuckthapolice.Which middle-class family –more Fresh Dr. Dre grew upinacomfortable cocaine slangin’façade heaffects. guard, whichistheantithesis ofthe Rick Ross usedto work asaprison Though hemay behustlin’ e’ryday, more records. personas are ameansto end:selling we must bearinmindthat these creator’s originalpersonality, but personas are looselybasedontheir at allby thefact that most rap Young. Thisdistinction isn’thelped name either),Dr. Dre isnotAndre (don’t worry Ididn’tknow herreal Lady Gaga isnotStefani Germanotta also adopt guisesintheirart.Just as we shouldappreciate that rappers bad music. your badmusiclouderthanallthe other seems theobvious solutionis to play world problem andaGenYcreation. It will follow you everywhere. Thisisafirst and withmoderntechnology badmusic else, itjust stinks. Badmusicisinevitable naughty andamusing but to everyone public. To you the fart might beslightly music inpubliciskindoflike farting in with somebodyelse’s poortaste. Playing chances are, Iwillbeforced to putup not mewhoisplaying themusicthen of awful orannoying musicandifits sexually charged. BLAM. are bloodthirsty, hilarious,surreal and who cloguptheaisles;theseshows not befooled by theelderlysocialites Carmen and Il Trovatore, TheBarberofSeville, things (idiots),checkout them. After you get over thesetwo that there’s nodrumbeat underneath that they are inforeign languages and alienating thingsabout good operas are Aside from theprices,two ofthemost performance, to easethepain. each andavailable anhourbefore each into student rushtickets, around $50 reason behindtheobscene prices.Look finding theirseats), andpartofthe written sothat peoplehadmusicwhile

Tales ofHoffman ROSIER STAINES says LAURENCE Don Giovanni, . Do

farrago _ U MATT WATSON watches the AFL club level USYD AFL UPGRADE up. +5 to dexterity! Earlier this year the Sydney University below the AFL and being a part of it upgraded and extended to meet AFL as well as accept it. Congratulations Australian National Football Club means they will tackle (and kick at) the field requirements. to everyone involved in securing this (SUANFC) was invited to enter the North likes of the Sydney Swans Reserves, great milestone for the club, let’s get Eastern Australian Football League Greater Western Sydney Reserves and This will not be easy though. It will take behind the boys and bring on the Swans (NEAFL) and on Tuesday 16th August the Brisbane Lions Reserves. Put simply, the a lot of time, hard work and a big pile of Reserves in 2012! members of the club voted to accept players will face better opponents and money to make the move successful and this invitation. This offer was limited to have a greater chance to showcase their sustainable without harming the club. only two clubs in all of Sydney; SUANFC talents. Given the club can only afford one paid was selected on the basis of its security, employee, its Managing Director, this resources and success, all of which have The club as a whole stands to benefit will require a huge contribution from seen nine premierships delivered in the from the move. SUANFC and its the current and former players as well last decade across all grades. sponsors will gain far greater exposure as the wider community. than they currently receive thanks to This move will see some big changes national television coverage. This big Having said that, the club has done happen at the club from 2012. The move also opens up the possibility incredibly well to be in a position to NEAFL is one of the leagues directly of Sydney University Oval #1 being receive an offer to play in the NEAFL

Jump higher? Sing louder! Where is CHRIS MARTIN running to? you’re cycling away from traffic, Rocky would not have been the same playing music on an evening jog must be stout rendition of ‘My Happiness’ for a or even running miles on a without the soundtrack. Sly Stallone from boredom of watching the suburban chat about tactics. treadmill, it’s still best to handle would never have fought his way past traffic crawl by. Apparently there’s more your music with care. You’re only Clubber Lang, Ivan Drago and the rest In all seriousness, the athletes among us to it. Olympic long-distance gold medallist ever an unlucky shuffle away from of them without Survivor’s ‘Eye of the must always be very careful about playing Haile Gebrselassie often requested techno developing dangerous illusions Tiger’. An old cricketing friend of mine under the influence of music. Sydney music be played over racetrack speakers about breaking world records to a used to feel the same way; the night Uni’s road cycling club, SUVelo, advises as he raced. In 1998, he broke the indoor Whitney Houston backing track. before his high school First XI grand final 2000-metre world record to Scatman members against listening to earphones day, he psyched up Rocky-style to that John’s ‘Scatman’, striding in time to the on a ride – safety before symphonies. If famous tune. For a game of cricket. The beats. following morning. I didn’t get it either. Far more cringeworthy were the Music has counted among the secrets motivational techniques of the Great to athletic success ever since the Britain bobsleigh team at the Winter cavemen first stretched antelope Olympics in Nagano ’98. Each training

SPORT hide across hollow logs for drumming and competition morning, the foursome CHRIS MARTIN’S GOOD SPORT PLAYLIST accompaniment to their daily hunts. listened to Whitney Houston’s ‘One Psychologists and sports scientists ‘Do The Stomp’ – The Moment in Time’. The Poms credit the Snowdroppers. Harmonica and reckon that’s for good reason. University song with pushing them across the hand claps at enough of a pace to of Southern Queensland academic line for their nation’s first Olympic keep you on the move. Peter Terry and his colleagues point ‘Born To Run’ – Bruce bobsleigh medal since 1964. Just ‘The Distance’ – Cake. Probably the to four factors in music that improve Springsteen how the crack-addicted diva’s greatest racing song ever written. motivation for a workout to this one, psychophysical ability: rhythm response awful pop ballad managed to You can play it at double time to pick . If you can’t the dream is over. Stay in bed. (time and tempo), musicality (melody motivate four spandexed men up the pace, but that will make John summon the and harmony), cultural impact (“the to slide down a hill any faster McCrea’s baritone sound a soprano. ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Star’ – Oasis. pervasiveness of the music within is unclear. But whatever does Your call. Because when you realise you’re not society”) and association (the kind that it for you. going to crack the team for London evokes slow motion images of yourself 2012, you can always turn to rock stardom. crossing the finish line for Olympic gold). So it’s easy to imagine Cadel Evans pumping ‘Chariots of Fire’ – Vangelis. You Unsurprisingly, it is tempo and rhythm through some Powderfinger know you want to. Don’t fight it. which most affect physical training and or Pnau on his way up and down performance. But to what degree? The the French Alps last month. Rumour academics spout all sorts of rhetoric has it Evans’ terse exchange with Andy about music’s capacity to “capture Schleck during Stage 19 came after the attention, lift spirits, generate emotion,” Luxembourger interrupted a particularly etc., but surely much of the reason for

Unsurprisingly, China, hosts of the 2008 Olympics, are What a difference an affray makes. Just last month if shit-stirring with state media reports claiming the riots you’d asked someone what the biggest news out of raise serious safety fears for visitors. Games authorities London was, they probably would have mentioned have been quick to assure the world that security will something about the countdown to the 2012 Olympics not only be tight but also free from any convicted (presuming they had a short memory for Murdoch). rioters but the damage is already done. Jokes about the But today, if they are talking about London 2012, it Olympic Torchings and the 1500m Police Chase cannot is probably only in terms of how much damage the be taken back. riots have done to the preparations for the massive MAX HALDEN on the aftermath international sporting event. Maybe what’s more interesting are the questions that the riots have raised about the make-up of British of the London Riots, and their The reality is that very little has materially changed society and the priorities of its government and its since before and after the riots. Apart from a minor implications for the 2012 Olympics. people. Can you really justify spending between two reshuffle of some test events for beach volleyball, and nine billion pounds on a sporting event when every no fixtures or venues were adversely affected. But household in England is tightening their belts to near nevertheless, the London 2012 brand has been breaking point? And despite the soaring rhetoric of seriously dented. Not only were over 200 IOC delegates ‘bringing a sports loving people together’, will a three in town while the riots were going down, but one week party really have any effect on the crippling of the Olympic ambassadors (who are selected to social and economic problems facing much of the UK’s welcome visitors to London), 18-year-old Chelsea Ives, underclass? No, and lets face it, the Olympics is not was arrested in the aftermath for allegedly destroying meant to be a silver bullet. But, if the organisers where part of a phone store and attacking a police car. Not a hoping that London 2012 would be one, then the riots good look. have certainly taken some of the shine off.

CHRIS MARTIN’S GOOD SPORT PLAYLIST SPORT GOOD MARTIN’S CHRIS

know you want to. Don’t fight it. fight Don’t to. want you know

You You ‘Chariots of Fire’ – Vangelis. – Fire’ of ‘Chariots

stardom.

2012, you can always turn to rock rock to turn always can you 2012,

going to crack the team for London London for team the crack to going

Because when you realise you’re not not you’re realise you when Because

. . ‘Rock ‘n’ Roll Star’ – Oasis – Star’ Roll ‘n’ ‘Rock

the dream is over. Stay in bed. in Stay over. is dream the

motivation for a workout to this one, one, this to workout a for motivation Whitney Houston backingtrack. about breaking world records to a developing dangerous illusions ever anunluckyshuffle away from your musicwithcare. You’re only treadmill, it’s still best to handle or even runningmilesona you’re cycling away from traffic,

Springsteen

‘

Born To Run’ – Bruce Bruce – Run’ To Born

If you can’t can’t you If . summon the the summon

THE PROFILE TOM GILMORE Tickets online:$12+BF (QLD), Ten ThousandFree MenandTheirFamilies, andmore to beannounced. Homesweet (UK) alongwithlocal heroes cTrix (VIC), Derris-Kharlan(VIC), Dot.AY Featuring theonlyNSW appearances ofNullsleep(US), Bit Shifter (US) andHenry Thursday 30thSeptember 6.30pm Electro Fringe during Newcastle’s ThisIsNotArtfestival. Catch 10kat the8bitpeoplesShowcase, happening aspartof had carefully planned what he’s first song beendoing.“The music itis.Butdespite theflair, itjust wouldn’t bepunkifhe And what great tongue-in-cheek hardcore punktypeparty tongue-in-cheek hardcore punktypepartymusic.” keep furtherunderwraps—my music hasmoved slowly towards less rubbishhappeninginmy life—or perhaps rubbishI’d like to through have beeneasy content for my songs,butlately, with songs stem from different places… Various thingsIhave gone all upinyour grillshegot agriponyour dick”).Heexplains: “My ‘Bitch Whipped’(“You’re bitch whipped,whippedby your bitch, leaving home,” andthenthere’s themaniccrowd favourite ‘Leavingsong, Home’, hasthepredominant lyric“Fuckyou I’m Medium aside,10k’s songssometimes soundlike therapy. One that describesaprocess.” is notimportant. Chipmusicisnotagenre. Itisanumbrella term perfectly into otherelectronic musicgenres that theirmedium for example cTrix, Sabrepulse, Homesweet—or Henry fitso that are indistinguishable from popularmusic insome cases— out like one.People are usingthisasamediumto write songs isn’t like listening to agame soundtrack anymore unlessitplays game music.Ifyou listen to chipmusicnon-stop for ayear, it community, peopledon’tuniformly associate chipmusicwith need have norelation at all to game soundtracks. “Inthe quick to emphasisethat themusicproduced by chipartists soundtrack to Adventure Time)?Nosirree. ButGilmore is to late 90saren’t just for games andCrystal Castles (andthe So thoseradcore 8-bitsoundsthat we got to know inthemid is themost punkshitgoing.” entertainment device to create backing tracks for me to yell over “In asense,you could even argue that my subversion ofahome rage ofanangry, young angry mantaken to comical extremes. violence that recalls boththenostalgia ofyouth andtheinternal 8-bit drumsandMarioesquecoin noises,awall ofmusical ‘chipunk’. Inlive performance, 10kscreams over thunderous a game/program called LittleSound DJ to write what he terms modern punkmusiconanoriginalNintendo GameBoy, using Gilmore himself—or10k,asheisprofessionally known—plays but asnichesgo thisoneispretty damn exciting. available.” That’s to right, besure, thisisathing.Anichething, Game Boys andNintendo Entertainment Systems were first and entertainment that hasbeenhappeningsinceAmigas, he says, “isanongoing celebration ofan era ofhome computing music onhomeorportable entertainment systems. “Chiptune,” Their Families, Gilmore is a chiptune artist. That means he writes Active since2007underthename Ten Thousand Free Men& from New York where heshouted into aGameBoy at afestival. Tom Gilmore is22,lives Hillsandrecently inSurry came back At thedoor:$15

AKA 10k about. It’s awide8-bitworld outthere. get alongto ashow andfall into thebest nicheyou never knew chiptune, thenwith10k’s abrasively great chipunk,andfinally following thingsto you, dearreader. Familiarise yourself with thrive onlive performance andgatherings.” SoIrecommend the are working against thegrain, bothare communities andboth beautiful because these genres really mirror eachother. Both chipmusic “kindafell inmy lap,” hesays, “butinaway itisquite 10k’s unholybutextremely entertaining mixofhardcore and Pocket Music…” name: Pulsewave, DutyCycle, Cheapbeats, SoundBytes, formulas to putonnights, whichare monthly witharecurring and spread insimilarfashions. Smallgroups are usingsimilar with theAmerican hardcore scene.Bothhave started small about how muchtheworld chipmusicscenehasincommon the chipmusicblogTrue ChipTilDeath oncemadeacomment away from beingahardcore band.“A guynamedPeter whoruns audience. You wouldn’t bewrong to thinkhe’s just a GameBoy yelling, jumpingandestablishing apricklycamaraderie withthe 10k’s shows are madeupofequalpartsmusic,shouting, Amid ascenewhere many performers lookdown at atable, 4mat (whocoined theterm ‘chipmusic’). him to play at Blip2011alongsideartists like Anamanagucciand mental patient”, he stood outenough for theorganisers to ask after “getting in front oftheright eyesandperforming like a and released two EPs (MKEORBRKand continue writinginthat vein.” Consequently he wrote, recorded to thosesongswas pretty remarkable anditinspired me to artist-run spaceinNYC called The Tank, andthe response vocals at anopenmicevent hosted at amassively important was meant to play itat somepoint. Iplayed my onlytracks with started withmegoing to watch Blipin‘09andknowing that I “Blipfest was aninteresting journey,” Gilmore/10k tells me.“It in theworld. play at BlipFestival inNew York, thelargest festival ofchipmusic point ofdifference was amajor factor behindhisselection to people kindaliked it,Iran withitasapoint ofdifference.” This something over itto laughat iteven more. Later, after realising that Iaddedlyricsto Iconsidered to besobadthat Ijust yelled by LAURENCE ROSIER STAINES Another ) inayear and,

profile X N Edit: Honi Soit Features

Grab your torch and Pitchfork A review from Pitchfork can make or break a music career. With shiny new software opening doors for all DJs, is there any reason to stay in the old-school? DANIEL ZWI takes a look at the online music news and reviews giant, and wonders why we’ll always read it. ANDY FRASER tunes in to both channels.

“[Kid A] will cleanse your brain of those little writer Larry Fitzmaurice’s 2010 review of somewhat It also helps that Pitchfork no longer indulges When CDs came in, vinyl DJs looked down on CD DJs. crustaceans of worries and inferior albums clinging unpronounceable Californian band, !!! (Chk Chk Chk): in stream-of-consciousness rambles like our Whatever, how are you gonna get every track you inside the fold of your gray matter. The harrowing unfortunate Radiohead extract above. Gone too want. You find a track on a blog, you want to play it? sounds hit from unseen angles and emanate with “Larry Fitzmaurice seeks to sum up a record through are its infamous 0.0 reviews, one of which took on The only way that’s gonna happen is if you download inhuman genesis… The experience and emotions tied its cover art in this morning’s lead review… and I Jet’s second album, Shine On. This review consisted it and play it digitally. You can burn it to CD but no to listening to Kid A are like witnessing the stillborn guess my problem with that conceit and especially only of a video of a chimpanzee urinating into one has a vinyl pressing machine in their backyard. birth of a child while simultaneously having the this sentence is that it’s superficial, obvious, too its own mouth. opportunity to see her play in the afterlife on Imax.” easy, lazy, specious, meaningless. You’re writing in Martin Novosel, PhDJ the fucking MLC [Major League Criticism] bro’ .” But what exactly are people responding to when Sorry, what? they read Pitchfork? Steph Harmon, editor of Sydney The industry of scritch has been kicked in the face street-press music magazine The Brag, suggests that by a size 16 robot boot. While most DJs today are Many people dislike Pitchfork. The above extract “I’ll tell you how I came across its popularity is partly due to its advisory role in embracing the opportunities that technology has from a review of Radiohead’s Kid A probably comes Pitchfork. A friend of mine, a writer, suggesting new music to listen to. awarded them, there are still some that cling to close to adquately explaining why. came over, and we were having tradition. You yourself might cling to the feel and lunch. And he was like, “You know, “It’s opinionated, authoritative and came around nostalgia of a book or newspaper, rejecting the It’s not for nothing, then, that the influential I read this really funny review. You at the exact time that people started needing an idea of an electronic copy in favour of its analogue music review website is frequently criticised for know this site?” And I was like, “No, authoritative, opinionated filter, to sift through the predecessor. From crunchy house sets, to indie its perceived self-importance, verbose prose and is it cool?” And he was like, “No, it’s vast amounts of music the internet has opened them mash-ups, or even hip-hop scratching sessions, gratuitous use of obscure pop culture references. Yet not very cool. It’s not very cool at up to,” she says. there are plenty of ponies to ride on the DJ merry- if Pitchfork is a website that independent music fans all.” And I was like, “Awesome.” So go-round. With a lot of ways to go about the trade, love to hate, then I suspect they secretly also hate I went and I read your review, and I If Pitchfork acts as a filtering device for the internet, they all have history to get caught up in. Introducing to love it, considering it averages 30 million page read everything. And I was thinking, however, it’s a rather porous one, considering the Martin Novosel AKA PhDJ of Purple Sneakers DJ’s, views a month. wealth of content on the website. Perhaps there is and Tom Lowndes AKA Tom Loud – visual beat feature these guys fucking hate my guts! Some of the stuff was so mean that a consensus that Pitchfork too needs a filter; hence making extraordinaire. These dudes have been at it Pitchfork turns fifteen this week and it is now so I was laughing out loud. Because Pitchfork Reviews Reviews, and hence, according to for a long while, come from distinct places, are going popular that, with a favourable review, it can bestow it was just really super awesome. Harmon, print music journalism. in different directions but love what they do equally. international recognition on any band it chooses. The kind of conversations I used to However tall poppies are liable to have their heads have in school. You know, “Did you “I love the internet, I spend a huge amount of time There’s a little bit more to all of it than just cool cut off. Those who don’t like its tone, or yearn for get Daydream Nation?” “Yeah! John online, but it can be an exhaustingly non-linear beats and smooth skills: the industry is continually the good old days of print music publications, have Cougar Mellencamp sucks!” multitude of information,” she says. “Print journalism evolving thanks to technology and the advent of produced several parodies of the website that have has the benefit of tangibility, and importantly, the digital DJing. Now it’s already caused a shitstorm become almost as famous as the site itself. benefit of limits. We can’t fit everything in, so we with the vinyl veterans holding onto tradition - their -Ryan Adams, 2004 make more choices about what to cull and what to entrenched animosity staining every DJ hugging his Published in Pitchfork’s ‘15 Years of Pitchfork There’s David Cross’ ‘Albums to Listen to While keep. Maybe this makes us more discerning.” hard-drive. Novosel and Lowndes haven’t taken any Interviews’ posted August 18, 2011. Reading Overwrought Pitchfork Reviews’, in which sides. They’ve made sides. he suggests, at one point, that the reader listen to Print music journalism, then, provides quality in its (fictionalised band) Screaming at the Mirror’s album, exclusivity. Anyone can start a blog, whereas you Novosel first got his Disk Jockeying on in London Only the Proletariat Flosses, when reading Pitchfork’s Interestingly, however, the blog has evolved over have to be able to write well in order to be published 2002. Starting as a collector of music, he was just Boards of Canada review, because the album sounds the last few months to become more tolerant by the limited number of print music publications. enjoying partying with his housemates and collecting “as if Genghis Kahn got together for breakfast with of Pitchfork. While it began in March 2010 as an CDs when he was stimulated unconventionally. “We Oliver Wendell Holmes and Virginia Wolfe and indignant reaction to the website’s monopolisation The nature of print music journalism has also used to get all of the CDs, we’d have two stereos, ordered just a bowl of homemade granola and then of music criticism, it’s as if two arch-nemeses changed since the advent of online criticism; the one next to the other,” he explains. “You’d play a skipped out on the cheque.” have become wary of fighting, and realise that sheer number of websites drives their content track and you’d get sick of that track after like a underneath it all they’re not so different. Pitchfork to be increasingly niche. As Harmon explains, “in minute. You didn’t have to loose any time, just fade Then there’s satirical news-network The Onion’s Reviews Reviews is already so well known that it has that environment, there’s no room for any print one down and then up. Then my flatmate was like article, ‘Pitchfork Gives Music 6.8’, which states been the subject of a New York Times article. David publication to pretend to be the be-all-and-end-all of ‘dude, why don’t we just get a CD mixer.’ So we that music itself received 6.8 out of 10 in a recent gets invited to Pitchfork office parties. There are music journalism.” Perhaps the reason why Rolling bought a CD mixer.” Simple, right? Well ten years Pitchfork post. “According to the review, authored even rumours that he is involved in the impending Stone has lost its influence is because it spreads its later he’s supporting Does it Offend You, Yeah? and by Pitchfork Editor in Chief Ryan Schreiber, the Pitchfork-inspired film, starring Jonah Hill as a content too thin. flying off to South Africa for the odd festival set. popular medium that predates the written word Pitchfork writer hounded by an indie-rocker’s angry shows promise but nonetheless ‘leaves the listener mother, bent on vengeance after her son dies in a Pitchfork shows no signs of relinquishing its role as A couple of years earlier Tom Lowndes was getting wanting more.’” car accident following a bad review. informed indie-tastemaker, but thankfully online his rave on closer to home. He admits that he “was and print journalism are somewhat symbiotic. into clubbing and going out until five in the morning And then there is the infamous blog, Pitchfork Suffice to say, despite the slew of angry responses The former has in its breadth of content spawned so [he] was always mystified by DJs.” A sound Reviews Reviews, which until recently rated each of provoked by Pitchfork’s omnipotence, it provides the need for print publications to select the best engineer by trade, he spent his first real paycheck on the five album reviews that appear every weekday a service that, begrudgingly or not, people want. of what’s available online and explore it further. some brand spanking new turntables: Technics’ SL- on the Pitchfork website. Written by Brooklyn-based David, who’s well placed to respond to the site’s Plus, it’s made of paper. Pitchfork’s popularity isn’t 1200, the first ever turntable released in 1974, which David (who doesn’t share his last name for fear detractors because he used to be one of them, destructive, and while it’s easy to despise a website remains the industry standard today. Lowndes then of compromising his day job), the review-reviews writes that “Pitchfork didn’t, like, dupe everyone that reviews pop with a rigour and smugness started on the relatively exxy mission of collecting are often as acerbic and insightful as the best of into reading it: it’s just great at what it does, and that often borders on academic, we’ll probably those roundish pieces of plastic. “Sitting in my room, Pitchfork. David’s posts nimbly deconstruct reviews people who read about music elected it champion read it anyway. I have probably, a couple of thousand records behind considered by many to be indubitable. It really is by a vote of 30 million to however many people read me. I was a real vinyl junkie,” Lowndes brags. But David-and-Goliath type stuff, if you’ll excuse the pun. every other music reviews site combined, which has as Lowndes soon realised when touring, it’s pretty Here’s an extract from David’s response to Pitchfork to be paltry.” damn difficult to drag two thousand vinyls to gigs 12 read itanyway. that often borders on academic, we’ll probably that reviews popwitharigour andsmugness destructive, andwhileit’s easy to despisea website Plus, it’s madeofpaper. Pitchfork’s popularityisn’t of what’s available onlineandexplore itfurther. the needfor print publications to selectthebest The former hasinitsbreadth ofcontent spawned and print journalismare somewhat symbiotic. informed indie-tastemaker, butthankfullyonline Pitchfork shows nosignsofrelinquishing itsrole as content too thin. Stone haslost itsinfluence isbecause itspreads its music journalism.” Perhaps thereason why Rolling publication to pretend to bethebe-all-and-end-allof that environment, there’s noroom for any print to beincreasingly niche.AsHarmonexplains, “in sheer numberofwebsites drives theircontent changed sincetheadvent ofonlinecriticism;the The nature ofprint musicjournalismhasalso by thelimited number of print musicpublications. have to beableto write well inorder to bepublished exclusivity. Anyone can start whereas ablog, you Print musicjournalism, then,provides quality inits keep. Maybe thismakes usmore discerning.” make more choicesaboutwhat to cullandwhat to benefit oflimits. We can’t fit in,so we everything has thebenefit of tangibility, andimportantly, the multitude of information,” she says. “Print journalism online, butitcan beanexhaustingly non-linear “I love theinternet, Ispendahuge amount of time Harmon, print musicjournalism. Pitchfork Reviews Reviews, andhence,according to a consensus that Pitchfork too needsafilter; hence wealth ofcontent onthewebsite. Perhaps there is however, it’s arather porous one,considering the If Pitchfork actsasafiltering device for theinternet, up to,” shesays. vast amounts ofmusictheinternet hasopenedthem authoritative, opinionated filter, tosift through the at theexact timethat people started needingan “It’s opinionated, authoritative and came around suggesting new music to listen to. roleits popularityispartlydueto itsadvisory in street-press musicmagazine TheBrag,suggests that they read Pitchfork? Steph Harmon,editor ofSydney But what exactly are peopleresponding to when its own mouth. only ofavideochimpanzee urinating into Jet’s second album, are itsinfamous 0.0reviews, oneofwhichtook on unfortunate Radioheadextract above. Gonetoo in stream-of-consciousness rambles like our It alsohelps that Pitchfork nolonger indulges Shine On Edit: . Thisreview consisted Honi SoitFeatures one hasavinyl pressingmachineintheirbackyard. it andplaydigitally. You can burnitto CDbutno The onlywaythat’s gonnahappenisifyoudownload want. You findatrackonblog,youwant to playit? Whatever, how areyougonnaget every trackyou When CDscame in,vinyl DJs looked down onCDDJs. damn difficult to drag two thousandvinyls togigs as Lowndes soonrealised it’s whentouring, pretty me. Iwas areal vinyl junkie,” Lowndes brags. But I have probably, acouple ofthousandrecords behind those roundish piecesofplastic. “Sittingin my room, started ontherelatively exxy mission of collecting remains theindustry standard today. Lowndes then 1200, thefirst ever turntable released in1974,which some brand spankingnew turntables: Technics’ SL- engineer by trade, he spent hisfirst real paycheck on so [he]was always mystified by DJs.” Asound into clubbingandgoing outuntil five inthemorning his rave oncloserto home.Headmitsthat he“was A couple ofyears earlierTom Lowndes was getting flying off toSouthAfrica fortheodd festival set. later he’s supportingDoesitOffend You, Yeah?and bought aCDmixer.” Simple,right? Well ten years ‘dude, why don’twe just get aCDmixer.’ Sowe one down andthenup.Thenmy flatmate was like minute. You didn’t have to looseany time,just fade track andyou’d get sickofthat track after like a one next to theother,” heexplains. “You’d play a used to get alloftheCDs,we’d have two stereos, CDs whenhewas stimulated unconventionally. “We enjoying partyingwithhishousemates andcollecting 2002. Starting asa collector ofmusic,he was just Novosel first got hisDiskJockeying oninLondon madesides. sides. They’ve hard-drive. Novosel andLowndes haven’t taken any entrenched animositystaining every DJ his hugging with thevinyl veterans holdingonto tradition -their digital DJing. Now it’s already caused ashitstorm evolving thanks to technology andtheadvent of beats andsmoothskills:theindustry iscontinually There’s alittlebitmore to allofitthanjust cool in different directions but love what they doequally. for alongwhile,come from distinct places,are going making extraordinaire. Thesedudeshave beenat it and Tom Lowndes AKATom Loud–visualbeat Martin Novosel AKAPhDJ ofPurpleSneakers DJ’s, they allhave history to get caught upin.Introducing go-round. Withalotofways to go aboutthetrade, there are plenty ofponiesto rideontheDJ merry- mash-ups, oreven hip-hopscratching sessions, predecessor. From crunchy housesets, to indie idea ofanelectronic copy infavour ofitsanalogue nostalgia ofabookornewspaper, rejecting the tradition. You yourself might cling to the feel and awarded them,there are still somethat cling to embracing theopportunitiesthat technology has by asize 16robot boot.Whilemost DJs today are The industry ofscritch hasbeenkicked intheface ANDY FRASERtunesinto bothchannels. With shiny new software openingdoors for all DJs, isthere any reason to stay intheold-school? Martin Novosel, PhDJ finding new ways to play with technology inorder playing fieldis evening out.Established DJs are to your average punter, theprofessional to amateur high qualitysoftware becoming more freely available With everything inoneeasily-accessible placeand songs onahard-drive.” carrying thisaround’, now Ihave accessto 50,000 Eventually Igot sick ofit.Oneday Ithought ‘fuck used to carry itaround, go from oneCDto another. the biggest CDgigbagyou could get,” hesays. “I adopted Serato outofconvenience. “Iusedto have CD’s anddefinitely vinyl.” Like Lowndes, Novosel I can dostuff that I could never doifI was playing remixes). “Itallows meto dowhatever Iwant to. music production for thepurposeofmashups and performances) andproduces onAbleton (enables standard software that emulates DJ decks for live new DJ era. HeDJs exclusively withSerato (industry consideration ofguiltandunabashedlydefends the On theotherhand,Novosel rejects any the soundiscoming from.” That hasbeenremoved from DJing: seeingwhere the wholeshow isover. People can understand that. that “People can see.Ifthat needlegets knocked, of plastic. Lowndes describesitasaninnate skill sending everything at you from aneedleandpiece is something very real andraw aboutaDJ who’s technique andmanualbeat matching mastery. There earned by professionals working for years ontheir be aDJ. Thisthendiminishesany kindofrespect with acomputer andat least oneworking handcan installed onabox. Theargument isthat anyone for any artist. All you needisabitofinformation software advanced enough to domost ofthe work standardised by theSerato platform, we are seeing records in1973,to theintroduction ofdigital DJing From DJ Kool Herc’s first example ofmixing bit dirtyaboutit.” Hewouldn’t betheonlyone. laptop,” concedes Lowndes.“[It’s] radfeltI also but a Serato. Itallowed meto have allofmy musicon my couldn’t carry allofmy records withme,soIgot any oneoftheminasecond. Cue21st century. “I into asmallbox andthenusewizardry to recall super convenient just to shrink-ray allthosevinyl around thecountry. You know what, itwould be great fuckingtime.” Well everyone’s going to have a press play, andeveryone isdrunk. tracks, thenyou puttheminand Because ifyou hadjust five great get everything technically perfect. and blendtracks together, and [don’t] have to obsessively learn faded out.People realise that you nerdy, chin-stroking DJing, [has] andthat“Beat obsessive, mixing, care ofme.” music. It’s my life. Itake care ofmusicandittakes what isimportant to me.Ifuckinglove music;Ilove soul.That’sof what your purposeshouldbe:“The Novosel isadamant inreminding prospective DJs that may be.Ifyou’re lookingfor someinspiration, important, isthereason why you doit-whatever has created isn’t that muchofanissue.What is trend inincreased accessibilitythat digital DJing are going to start DJing oneway oranother. The If novice DJs are going to enter themarket they Well everyone’s going to have agreat fuckingtime.” put theminandpress play, andeveryone isdrunk. Because ifyou hadjust five great tracks, then you together, andget everything technically perfect. [don’t] have to obsessively learnandblendtracks stroking [has]faded out.People realise that you andthat“Beat obsessive, mixing, nerdy, chin- DJing, I give you aresounding no.AsLowndesexplains, DJs? Withoverwhelmingly unquestionable authority, to beasked is,shouldwe expect thesamefrom our how the musiciscreated. Thequestion that needs sweaty mentrippingballs.We doallofthisto see at thefront barrier, we cop somesandwichingby operation, we lineup for hours to ensure ourplace play When we pay to seeaband,we pay to seeaband give themsomething they won’t know.” entertain to keep themonthedancefloor. Then you teaches. “You give themsomething that isgoing to part entertainment, oneparteducation” thePhDJ No track plays for longer than30seconds. “One then electro; thenamps upinto 140bpmdub-step. average set thendelves into disco, indie-disco, indie, playing at home)withsomeslow hip-hop,an Starting at 85bpm(beats perminute, for those audience ontheirtoes withaquickmoving set. tunes withanounceofeducation, he keeps his and thelove. Combiningwell-known, well-mixed For Novosel it’s allabouttheentertainment factor of scratching andremixing.” to beafair bitofturntable-ism involved inthat. Alot and clips andputtingthemwithmusic.There tends some old-schoolsteeze: “You’re for digging videos doing allofthis,hesays hestill findsthetime for cartoons together into aposhpastiche. Whilehe’s together cutupfilms,musicvideos,TVclips and straight sassy visionwithaudio;Lowndesmashes depressingly crappy R&Bnightclubs streaming with audio.No, no, stop thinkingaboutthose called MixEmergency, hemashesupvisionalong in order to distinguish himself. Usingaprogram his live sets. Lowndes madethemove into A/Vsets includes ahomemadePowerpoint presentation in programs. Even deck-legend Grandmaster Flashnow elaborate, bigbudget sets withintricate lighting to set themselves apart.DJ Shadow spinsvinyl from . We ready ourselves for theinternet purchase N 13 feature P THE TUNES: SKILL O’ Robert Crumb THE WEEK Cancels Graphic STUART How to write a song Festival Due to HUW WATSON is killing us softly with his song. Opinionated Twat Let’s face it, we’ve all been there: failing at uni, juggling work and – on top The 1960s revolutionary artist BUCHANAN of that – someone has just broken your heart. We have many emotions to express, and so little time to express them. Have you ever thought that if cancelled his appearance at only you could write a song to express the way you feel then maybe things the Sydney Opera House’s wouldn’t be so bad? Well you stupid loner, with the help of this article and ANGUS FARRELL interviews the brains behind Australia’s free a few magic sprinkles (or any other drugs you can get your hands on) you graphic arts weekend and experimental music project. can write that song. Then you’ll be able to express your inner sadness/ FELIX SUPERNOVA cried. Originally from Scotland, Stuart Buchanan has AF: You’re charged with the task of bringing happiness/drugs, marry Miss/Mister Universe and achieve that world played an integral role in Sydney’s emerging such artists forward, changing our listening peace everybody’s been wanting. experimental music scene since arriving in habits from listening to a tidal wave music The first thing you’ve got to sort out is your key. Keys come in two kinds: 2003. He was part of the start-up team for FBI from the US and UK. New Weird Australia major and minor. 94.5 and continues to present the New Weird and FBI have done great things for Australian Australia program, which has developed into music. Could you tell us a bit about that? Key chord charts can help you decide which key is right for your song. But more than a radio show encompassing an the most important thing to remember is that major keys generally sound impressive array of live shows, a record label SB: I guess part of it is recognising that a lot of happy and inspiring, and minor keys generally sound sad and moving. An and an imposing web presence. Stuart also international artists are championed because easy key to play in is the key of C. founded The Nest, a boutique digital creative they are international. The music that they are Once you have your key, chord progression will help you choose which agency that has developed some fantastic free playing is not necessarily better than music chords you actually need to play in order to make a song. One very arts guide applications for the City of Sydney, being made here, it’s just that those bands common and pleasant sounding combination is the use of chords built The Art Gallery of NSW, The Sydney Writers are not exposed. If bands could reach more upon the first, fourth and fifth notes of the scale. Musical geniuses call Festival and the Sydney Festival. He also co- people here, maybe they would be regarded these the tonic, the subdominant and the dominant – but let’s not worry manages the Feral Media record label and in the same way. That’s part of the mission: to about that until your third album. The first, fourth, and fifth chords of C are produces his own music. level the playing field. C, F, and G. Any simple chord chart will help with this (guitaristguitarist.com AF: Sydney has a strong (albeit brief) lineage AF: Is the music hard to find? is a great resource for beginners). Let’s repeat G for a bar so that we can of experimental music, including two bands SB: When I first started doing this about two have four chords to each phrase, this helps keep the song simple and easy you have showcased recently. years ago, I actually thought the program to play. Our chord progression is now I, IV, V, V, and the chords themselves are C, F, G, G. SB: It was difficult for Sydney’s experimental had a shelf life of about 3 months. I thought bands like the The Severed Heads and I’d actually run out of music. It’s not that I In the chorus, why not make the change from major to minor or minor Scattered Order to get gigs early on, due thought the music would cease to be made, to major here to make the song a little bit more interesting? Most real to their usage of drum machines and other but that there were a finite amount of artists musicians have memorised which minor keys sound good with which major technology that pub managers thought would that were making it, and I couldn’t just keep keys but if you’re like me and seven years of guitar lessons did very little to break their sound systems. playing the same bands over and over again. drill any actual musical theory into your brain then take a tip. The trick is Now it’s become the case that about half the that all majors have relative minors and vice versa. For example, C major AF: Obviously this has changed, looking at music on the show is stuff I’ve gone digging goes nicely together with A minor. You can find out which ones go together the success of your New Weird Australia for, and the other half is stuff that people by using a circle of fifths, which are readily available on google images. For (NWA) live shows. have sent me. I’ve sort of stuck my hand up, our new key of A minor our chord progression, thanks to our trusty chord saying I’m interested and want to support chart, is: Am, Dm, Em, Em. SB: Yes, it’s certainly true that at the time what you’re doing, but that’s not to say that those bands didn’t get gigs because they everything I get sent is good or playable. Now that we have chords for a verse and a chorus, we need lyrics. Lyrics didn’t conform to what a standard live band are important: in this kind of music they provide texture and interest in a pub should sound like, and it was too AF: How do you sort the good from the bad? as well as a melody. Look everywhere for inspiration and write it down confronting or too new at that time. I guess straightaway because you’ll definitely forget it by the time it comes to where I’m at—and where a lot of the bands I SB: I listen to absolutely everything I get sent, because invariably the stuff I get interested in writing your song. Lyric generation programs found on the internet are not play are at—is that increasingly they’re finding helpful; they are shit. This is one generated earlier: spaces that are alternatives to playing in pubs. will be track seven of a demo that someone The ability to find a good pub that will support sends in, with no contact details and a track “The next day I thought my ass had broken, interesting music is pretty rare, so increasingly listing written in biro on a torn out notebook I thought my tits had burst into flames, My tits... ouch! it’s galleries and warehouses that bands will page, on a shitty CD-R, and it just sounds fucking amazing! And, it’s better than the coalesce around. When I think of that sexy bra model, mass-produced, glossy-cover professional AF: And how do you think bands can photography stuff. I listen to everything That sexy bra model and me.” make the transition from playing those because that’s when you find the good stuff. underground circuits to achieving more It’s about hearing something different. Just don’t use them. mainstream success? Congratulations, you now have everything you need to make a simple SB: It’s persistence, and just being great song! So go, set your life to music, play your new song to your friends, your musicians and innovators. It isn’t enough just All seven editions of New Weird Australia are family and who ever else is socially obligated to listen to you! up to download at NewWeirdAustralia.com. to work hard though … you actually have to be Disclaimer: Drugs are illegal, and Honi Soit does not recommend that you putting art out there that makes people stop, You can also catch the show on FBi 94.5 FM, Thursday 9-11pm. take them for musical or any other purposes. They do not increase musical take notice and think. It requires that extra proficiency, especially not marijuana or acid. layer. That’s what will propel people forward.

sweet cider at Oxford Arts and the drag is the perfect backdrop for this surreal these above-ground rumblings from on the road queens are still belting show tunes at soundworld, which will use a few different underwater. There will also be a chance Stonewall, but further up some strange mediums to tease out layers of noise. for you to listen to your brain singing; you tunes are tinkling in to the Paddington can sit in a chair and hook in to computer Reservoir. A contemporary sound The piece will turn the recently restored software which will transform your brain OXFORD st installation will echo across those damp, Reservoir in to “a forest of hanging, waves in to a musical score. Professional sunken walls for two crisp evenings waterlogged garments fed by currents musicians will then bring it to life in the this week. that turn the clothes into speakers.” These low evening light for you. JACQUELINE BREEN cruises. soggy speakers will capitalise on this eerie Phonography is a collaboration between echo chamber, emitting sounds and songs There is so much to love about this cloggy The day the music dies there will be contemporary Australian composer Max as audiences wade through the space. Sydney artery, and that stretches beyond devastation on Oxford St. That strip is one Lyandvert and second-year design students Hidden microscopes along the Oxford St Arthur’s pizza and American Apparel. busy, bloody, smokey soundscape and it from NIDA. The term literally means ‘sound strip will add to the wackness, capturing just wouldn’t be the same without music. writing’, and will be taking some liberties street sounds and beaming them back to Phonography runs from the 24th to the 25th August at the Paddington Reservoir But it has never sounded quite like this with your sense of sonic and spatial the subterranean listeners – the audience Gardens between 5-7 pm. 14 before. The indie kids are still swilling awareness. The cool and ethereal Reservoir will feel as though they are listening to P Robert Crumb freshly squeezed Cancels Graphic How to write a song Festival Due to LOUIS OpinionatedHow to write Twat a The 1960s revolutionarysong artist LONDON cancelled his appearance at NEADA BULSECO got lemons, made lemonade. the Sydney Opera House’s graphic arts weekend and The formidable wave of indie rock door, Ed talks about where he hopes Louis FELIX SUPERNOVA cried. outfits that have crashed on the shore London will be in years to come, “If I can of Sydney’s music scene over the last be making a living out of music that would few years could be described as tidal. In be great, yeah that would be lovely […] I’d the midst of this sea, it’s rare for bands say that’s pretty much the same for the to catch a break (or a life preserver). rest of the band.” But he also knows the Garnering yourself a crowd that’ll indulge competitive nature of the industry. you with more than a slow sway takes a sound that will resonate with an audience This might be so, but with an approach beyond the confines of the venue, and out detailed as “trying to take the best bits,”

into the wild of the night. Six-piece band, and succeeding it is difficult to imagine the arts bit Louis London, has just that. Louis London falling into obscurity; they’re starting to be noticed. They’ve had some Recently marking their first anniversary, airtime on Triple J and FBi, and they’re For those unaware of Robert Crumb’s subversive genius Louis London is still the new kid on the constantly writing new songs. At their he was an icon of the 60’s counter culture movement. His block. But with a sound influenced by most recent gig at OAF on Friday night, lewd, sexually explicit images were often paired with a voice every genre under the sun (Jeff Buckley they unleashed three new songs on the that spoke directly to the disillusionment adolescents were meets funk, Thom Yorke partners with packed out house. According to Ed, “the experiencing with ‘the man’. Tales of gore and intrigue, his jazz), they’ll have you tuning in from the response was great,” which is no surprise. characters act is if the civil code of society has been revoked. It’s first note. Ed Saloman (vocals) and Nick The strength of their live performance is as if they’ve all had this heavy weight lifted from their shoulders Ingall (lead guitar) know each other from something to behold, with a distinctive and they can now reveal their brutal, honest selves. Despite the days of the ol’ schoolyard, with Carl sound grounded in some damn fine talent the bestiality, the blood and the anti-establishment diatribes Fernandes, Jack O’Donnell, Jack Kidell and from all six members. Lach Pearse joining the pack organically. the characters are genuine. Defending Robert Crumb’s work for Louis London may assert that they’re “not being overtly sexual is redundant. With so many members, Saloman describes the music making process as a breaking boundaries [or] crashing any You could excuse someone for confusing the visceral artistic collaborative experience, “someone will musical barriers,” but they’re just being expression with the artists own repressed character portrait. bring in a riff and others will add to it.” modest; they’ll be treading the stage When Hetty Johnston decided to join the debate she brought at Madison Square Garden before they the level of hysteria that could be expected from the Telegraph. From their first gig just over a year ago know it. Johnston admonished the Opera House for condoning his work. playing to a crowd of “maybe 20 or 30” See them live! “These cartoons are not funny or artistic - they are just crude at the Cat and Fiddle in Balmain, Ed and perverted images emanating from what is clearly a sick explains, “initially we just wanted to play On home turf at the Verge Festival Tent, mind.” To be fair, as an anti-child abuse campaigner, Johnston and have fun.” Though the members of Sydney Uni Camperdown Campus on has a right to be wary of Robert Crumb’s work. I can understand Louis London remain modest as the days Wednesday 31 August. $10 ACCESS how it would be inappropriate for it to be in her home or her of the Cat and Fiddle, a rapidly growing office. What I can’t understand is regurgitating some pious fan base and regular gigs at Oxford Art Or live at The Gaelic, Friday 2 September. line about needing to repress our emotions in order to avoid Factory and The Gaelic have encouraged $8 +bf from Moshtix. offending anyone. bigger dreams. With one giant foot in the Drawing direct parallels between artist and art is a dangerous game we’ve seen played out before. It’s easy to decry content you have moral qualms with but it’s counter-effective. Crumb’s aesthetic focused on the body as a source of sexual phobia HONI SOITORIALIST and release. The imagery works as a medium to articulate SAMANTHA HAWKER is wearing your dinner and what, despite its crass exterior, is a thickly layered, politicised message. Panic in the place analysis not only stifles the artists opening your art world. voice but provides a slippery slope to censorship on the grounds When Lady Gaga arrived at the 2010 MTV Video Music Awards parading that ‘it contravenes my belief system.’ Will art be reduced to a dress quite literally cooked up from flank steak, heads (and noses!) a shallow ‘happy holiday season’ sentiment, or any kind of turned. Is rancid meat the new black? expression for that matter? Halloween in New York City saw countless recreations of The worst part about Johnston’s comments is that they the ‘meat dress’ while a poll on MyCelebrityFashion. couldn’t be further from the truth. Crumb is infamously co.uk found Gaga’s outfit more popular even than neurotic. The constant immersion in art his whole life must have British darling Kate Middleton’s engagement dress. The been to divert his attention from the disgusting reality outside meat dress, now preserved by taxidermists as a type of jerky and right? When Crumb got wind of Johnston’s comments, and displayed at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, left a legacy of inspired the overall tone of the article he cancelled his appearances. To young designers who jumped at the opportunity to embrace a new the distress of his family and the organisers of Graphic, Crumb textile supplier: the butcher. LA-based jewellery company Onch these above-ground rumblings from simply couldn’t confront a flock of enraged citizens, sheparded Movement have invited fans to ‘grab a slab and some Gaga underwater. There will also be a chance by a newspaper who peddles fear and insecurity as its bread attention’ with the unisex ‘meat-lace’. Described as ‘perfect for any for you to listen to your brain singing; you and butter. Jesse Phillips doesn’t get out of this either. Writing occasion, the neck piece comes strung on an 18” chain and retails can sit in a chair and hook in to computer an article to humiliate a humble man has provided the media for around $70 US (so jump in quick while the Australian dollar is software which will transform your brain with a chance to get Bill Henson’s old soap-box out. Not to still strong!). waves in to a musical score. Professional mention the egg you’re going to have to help wipe off your As contemporary fashion mimicks contemporary art in its move into the musicians will then bring it to life in the employer’s faces for enraging Graphic, the Opera House and provocative “anything goes” arena of no boundaries, the question must be low evening light for you. thousands of fans. posed – is there, or should there be a limit? It seems more and more people There is so much to love about this cloggy In the man’s own words: I have no defence. I can’t explain why are agreeing with Jonathon Jones from The Guardian: “there is nothing Sydney artery, and that stretches beyond I drew all those crazy pictures. I had to do it. Maybe I should worse than good taste.” In his article about maverick British artist Damien Arthur’s pizza and American Apparel. have my pencils and pens taken away from me. I don’t know. Hirst, Jones concludes that although he may understand why someone Phonography runs from the 24th to the I really have no answer to their argument that I’m a sick, would dismiss the art of today (and, as he argues, there are good moral, 25th August at the Paddington Reservoir deranged person. political and aesthetic reasons to do so), it is of today and may help us Gardens between 5-7 pm. understand the world in which we live. So perhaps its time we all join Hirst and Gaga’s bad taste party. Even if the dress code is meat. 15 S

TOM WALKER grabbed a minute with the USyd comedian while she prepared for stand-ups because you can use the her Sydney Fringe show and recovered from a risotto. convention of genre and song while Genevieve Fricker’s star has risen so fast it has a girl acapella band called Mememe. We performed at a there’s nothing really nosebleed. In the space of the last year she’s turned bunch of folk festivals and had a MySpace, won some similar in standup from an unemployed student into a known comedian awards, won a guitar. Whatever. I did one semester of that you can do that. with a Fringe Festival show, radio gigs, paid bookings a bachelor of music, hated it, came to Sydney Uni and Standups have it a at the Comedy Store and national TV appearances learnt the ways of the comedy. bit harder. under her belt. TW: How’d you learn the ways of the comedy? TW: What does the TW: I hear when you were a little girl you used to do GF: Joined SUDS, got involved in a few productions, met future hold? something amusing with your poop? Theatresports people, started doing that in lunchtimes, GF: I’ve been doing GF: Oh yeah! I was really ashamed of, uh, defecating plucked up the courage to audition for Arts Revue, spots at Triple J when I was little, so I would go behind a closed curtain then wrote two songs for that. I put my songs on my alongside the Doctor, to do it, but I’d stick my head through and just stare housemate’s computer so when she puts it on shuffle which is fun. I’ve really intensely at my mum. My mum would know they just come up. got a Fringe show, what I was doing because of my eyes, so when she I joined Project 52, did sketch comedy and standup and I’d like to take it to caught on I started pushing my poo into our video impro there. Then I did RAW. Adelaide, hopefully player. Then when all their VHS’s stopped working, Melbourne, possibly Edinburgh. I’d really love a sausage-y dog they opened it up to find it was full of poo. And you TW: Your big break. sometime in the future- can’t do that now with DVDs. In the olden days one GF: Yeah. At the end of 2010, I went through an awful could stick their poo in a VHS. breakup and it messed up my plans for 2011. I was TW: You replaced your horrible ex? TW: How’d being a musical comedian happen to sitting at work depressed one day and I’d heard about GF: Yup. What? you? it, it was free to enter and honestly, I had nothing else going on. Then I got wildcarded into the national final in TW: You have a boyfriend now. GF: The comedian part happened a bit later. My first Melbourne. It was crazy, performing in front of fifteen, GF: Yup. He’s nice? I don’t know. What do you want me to say, musical memory is having a music appreciation class sixteen thousand people in the Town Hall, when I’d at the Con when I was three. I played the violin for a Tom? He’s really nice and tall and he comes to every single never gone to Melbourne. I didn’t realise how much of show I do. bit, guitar when I was 14, my parents thought I should a big deal it was before I was doing well at it, which was go to a music school so I learnt the double bass. I’ve actually really good. TW: Any negative reactions to you as a musical comedian? been in Jack Colwell and the Owls since I was 15. I was in Sydney Children’s Choir and we performed for the TW: How do you think performing as a musical GF: When RAW got screened on TV I was following the Twitter Dalai Lama! We sung on some film scores like Moulin comedian is different to performing as a stream and as soon as I came on someone tweeted “oh, that Rouge... I’ve never told anyone this, but I auditioned standup comedian? comedian has a guitar, I’m not watching this then”. Then I for Australian Idol once. engaged her, and I was like “OH I KNOW RIGHT THEY’RE JUST GF: I’m giving straight stand-up a go for my Fringe show. AWFUL AREN’T THEY” and I invited her to my Fringe show. TW: How did that go for you? I guess the whole thing is taking a joke and taking it a little bit further into a song, or twisting a joke. I think I It’s been pretty overwhelmingly positive. I expected really GF: Yeah not well, obviously. Um, I was in an Irish can take a joke and an everyday situation and stretch it bitter angry people, especially because I thought musical folk band for most of high school. The second most out. With songs, you can magnify everyday situations and comedy wasn’t regarded with as much respect as standup, I successful musical thing I’ve ever been in was a three- small funny things. I think you also get it a bit easier than thought I’d get negativity but it’s been really good. And quick! THE DEATH OF THE LONG STORY BRYANT APOLONIO maintains that quantity is quality when it comes to storytelling. When it comes to entertainment, brevity seems “This is one of the hardest to read most pointless a cake. Chocolate is chocolate, regardless of its to be the soul of wit. The short, intense, bite-sized books I have ever had the misfortune of trying sickening bulk and quantity. It must be good! THE ARTS BIT morsel of pleasure and emotion is what we crave, to read.” Uh, I guess that’s a valid opinion but as connoisseurs of art and culture. Perhaps this is could you— Ultimately, Bogtrotter emerges victorious. He a side-effect of advertising saturation. Perhaps the smiles at his cohort, at us!, face and teeth slicked inevitable upshot of the fast food industry. Perhaps “I began to get sea sick from being at times with a saccharine brown. He raises his fist, swinging the reaction to our schedule-strained Sisyphean engaged in the story to next wondering what in the manner of some Roman emperor. But before lifestyles in which the morning coffee and five- the point of reading it was.” Well, physical illness he has time to lap up his praise, before he even has minute cigarette are the only constants. Who knows? isn’t really— a chance to revel in his victory, Ms. Trunchbull— that terrible schoolmarm upon whom nightmares I don’t care, really. I do care that most people “I read this book after it was recommended by will, myself included, prefer to sway quietly to the are made—lurches beside him and cracks a plate Oprah…” My good lady, consider it a victory that on his head. consoling explosions of Cowboys vs. Aliens, instead you can even read at all. of struggling through a slab of Melville. Even if we did finish Ulysses, if we went through Or, there’s the other camp who do like a challenge, Because publishing is a business, and businesses are the trouble of trawling that legendary tome, that but only if there’s some definite and immediate classic, that innovation of language, the absence devoted only to the dolla’ dolla’ bill. Books that will reward at the end, which literature does not seem sell are published, that’s the litmus test. Companies, of which would have etc. etc. etc., how would to proffer. A novel, after all, is just a movie in very we benefit? We might just be wasting our time; and they can’t reasonably be blamed for this, will slow motion consumed over a manner of weeks publish what people want to read, and not the choking down a giant cake, and all along inviting with regular intermissions. What do we achieve Trunchbull’s platter. We wouldn’t Become Better books everyone proclaims they have read (or have when we invest our time and effort? always heard great things about, but just haven’t had Human Beings. To that question, I haven’t a enough time, never enough time) while sipping from I suppose it’s ironic to use a film adaptation to ready answer. But I think good literature emerges blood-orange cocktails under the poolside gazebo. I convey my point, but this is the most apt metaphor because it grapples with the work that came before cannot think of any recently published book that is I can think of on a softly drizzling Friday morning. it and tries to ‘improve it’ or make it new. So, if no as wordy and complex as Pynchon or Nabokov, who In the 1996 film Matilda—our collective childhood one is reading, writing cannot really progress. This are hermits or dead, respectively. The next Joyces, friend—there is one scene that I always (and I may sound a tad apocalyptic, but it is nevertheless and Faulkners, and Dostoevskys, and Prousts—and don’t think I’m alone here) immediately and vividly kind of true. they may very well exist in 2011, why not?—are recollect, when I get my nostalgic hat on. It’s the Ulysses is a fucking balls-out book, the most just without demand. Maybe people do not want scene where little Bruce Bogtrotter, for one vile act famous book after the King James Bible, and to be challenged, anymore. Our inane highschool or another, is forced to eat a cake. The cake isn’t it would be a grand old shame if we never get curriculums, rote-learning and force-feeding, have ordinary. It’s big. It’s a very big mud cake, a cake anything like it ever again because our lunch breaks finally scared us away from literature. thicker and darker than the deepest depression. only go for an hour. Or, because there is this totally We, the audience, peek through fingers as this Here, to illustrate, are some Amazon reviews I sweet movie about monkeys that go nuts, and the porcine prepubescent totally gorges himself. There foxy guy from Spiderman is in it. randomly plucked, regarding an arbitrarily chosen is fast cutting and tense music. We are made book, One Hundred Years of Solitude. All of this is somewhat uncomfortable. This is really heavy This article may have been too long. I won’t take 16 [sic], I just can’t make this shit up: shit, let me tell you. And yet, we think, he’s eating offence if you felt like skipping it. STRESS LESS! Tips for ASK ABE V Q & A with students who need help stand-ups because and a dog who has all the answers... you can use the Send letters to: convention of genre better time management [email protected] and song while there’s nothing really Do you have a sudden unfamiliar need to exercise when all of their commitments is all it takes. The key to Hello Abe, similar in standup your work is piling up? Get a sudden urge to forensically developing your time management skills is to find that you can do that. clean your house, beyond the bounds of your usual strategies that work for you. Some simple strategies When I first enrolled I signed up for 4 six credit point subjects. Now I think I might not be able to cope with Standups have it a casual attempts at housecleaning? Find the urgent need such as developing a weekly study timetable, or plotting bit harder. the workload and would like to drop to 3 six credit to channel all your energy into acquiring and beating all your due dates on a page from Week 1 - exam period point subjects. Will I have to pay for the subject still? TW: What does the high scores in games you don’t usually play as due dates can provide a good visual cue to keep track of deadlines Will I get a fail for it? Will I still be able to get Youth Allowance? How can I decide what to drop? future hold? creep up? at a glance. Rather than looking at your study and assignments as one big task, breaking an assignment Don’t want to Fail GF: I’ve been doing I don’t think that any uni student needs to be told these into a series of tasks can make it much easier to get Dear Don’t Want to Fail, spots at Triple J are all likely to be shameful by-products of the age old started eg research, read materials, plan your response, If you withdraw from a subject before the census date alongside the Doctor, problem: Procrastination. write it, proofread, writing your reference list/ which is fun. I’ve (usually 31st August for 2nd semester) you will not get bibliography. You can then break up these tasks over a charged HECs (or full fees if you are a local student). The got a Fringe show, While we all laugh and take some comfort and pride in time period that’s manageable for you, such as a week, same should happen for international students also, but I’d like to take it to sharing the many and varied exploits of procrastination, a fortnight etc. they might want to come and have a chat to someone at Adelaide, hopefully managing your time well is an important skill to master, the SRC for some help because the policy is not so clear. to reduce study related stress and anxiety and to Melbourne, possibly Edinburgh. I’d really love a sausage-y dog The uni has some great support services, such as The You need to know however, that some subjects such as sometime in the future- maintain your general well-being. In the longer term, Learning Centre, that provide great resources, both the intensive units in the Graduate Law program, have these skills are important to master as the habits you different census dates. As with any change to your study TW: You replaced your horrible ex? online and at the centre, as well as offering workshops develop now can be hard to shake once you step out of relating to time management and organisation skills. program I would strongly recommend that you talk to GF: Yup. What? uni and into the workforce. your faculty advisor and check the census date, as well as It’s definitely worth paying them a visit if you feel time seeking advice on what subjects to keep and drop, in case TW: You have a boyfriend now. Maybe you’re not procrastinating, perhaps there just management is a problem for you. this affects your progression and/or major. It is probably preferable that you ask them these questions via email as aren’t enough hours in the day to attend class and do GF: Yup. He’s nice? I don’t know. What do you want me to say, Managing your time better doesn’t necessarily mean you then have a written record. your readings and any research and study for exams Tom? He’s really nice and tall and he comes to every single devoting all your time to study, it’s about making more and writing essays. It may be helpful to take some time If you withdraw before the census date you should have show I do. effective use of your time. Remember, it’s good to the grade W (withdrawn) next to that subject, not a fail. to try and reflect on why you don’t have enough time. balance work and play. Make sure you check this at the end of April on your TW: Any negative reactions to you as a musical comedian? Have you over-committed yourself? Part time work transcript. can be necessary in order to do some very basic things You can also talk to an SRC Help caseworker to discuss GF: When RAW got screened on TV I was following the Twitter In regards Youth Allowance, if you are doing 18 credit such as eating and paying rent, but is this getting in the stategies and options to manage your time and stream and as soon as I came on someone tweeted “oh, that points or more you are still considered full time and way of your study? Too many social commitments? Just workload more effectively. are still eligible for Youth Allowance. Therefore your comedian has a guitar, I’m not watching this then”. Then I disorganised? payments should remain the same. engaged her, and I was like “OH I KNOW RIGHT THEY’RE JUST SRC Help contact AWFUL AREN’T THEY” and I invited her to my Fringe show. If you were an international student on a student visa There is no one-size-fits-all solution to time Phone: 9660 5222 | [email protected] I would advise you that you can sometimes do less 24 It’s been pretty overwhelmingly positive. I expected really management, different strategies work for different Office Hours: Mon - Fri, 9am – 5pm credit points, but your Faculty must approve this. It is bitter angry people, especially because I thought musical people. While one person may need to reduce the Drop-in sessions - No appointment required Tuesdays & therefore very important that you go and speak to your faculty advisor, and possibly the International Office also. comedy wasn’t regarded with as much respect as standup, I number of social commitments or work hours in order Thursdays 1-3pm thought I’d get negativity but it’s been really good. And quick! to make time for study, another person may find that If you are not on main campus Of course if you have more questions talk to SRC Help. for them, finding a better way to balance and prioritise contact SRC on: 0466 169 664 Abe

The Students’ Representative Council (SRC) Legal Service has a solicitor on campus to provide free legal advice, representation in court and referral to undergraduate students at Sydney University.

We can assist you with: Appointments • Family law (advice only) • Consumer complaints Phone the SRC Offi ce to make an appointment 9660 5222 • Criminal law • Victims compensation Drop-in sessions Tuesdays & Thursdays 1pm-3pm (no need for an appointment) • Traffi c offences • Discrimination and harassment Location • Insurance law • Tenancy law Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney • Domestic violence • Administrative law (government etc) Level 1 Wentworth Bldg, Uni of Sydney • Employment law • University complaints 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au • Credit & debt • Other general complaints ACN 146 653 143

Note: The solicitor cannot advise on immigration law but can refer you to migration agents and community centres. For Family The SRC’s operational costs, space and administrativeve Law and Property Relationships Act matters we can refer you to solicitors who charge at a fair rate. support are fi nanced by the University of Sydney.

BIG Savings when you buy your course books with us! • We have textbooks for most Sydney Uni Courses Cheap • We buy & sell textbooks Secondhand according to demand • You can sell your books on consignment. Please phone us before bringing in your books. NEW Location! • We are open to USYD students Level 4, Wentworth Building & the public SRC HELP (Next to the International Lounge) BOOKS Hours: Mon to Fri 9am - 4.30pm Search for text books online Phone: (02) 9660 4756 on campus now! www.src.usyd.edu.au/default.php Email: [email protected] Current second-hand text books on sale now! Call 02 9660 4756 to check www.src.usyd.edu.au availability and reserve a book. 17 V Donherra Walmsley [email protected] PRESIDENT’S REPORT twitter: @srcpresident This week I’ll update you on a few comfortable speaking out and arguing a Faculty board representative things that are happening around the position strongly, their term finishes. So University and federally. there is an argument that a longer term elections will improve the efficacy of the student Nominations to be a student voice on Senate. 2 year student senate representative on faculty boards closed fellow terms There’s also an argument that having a on Monday last week, and ballot papers more experienced student on Senate is – where the number of nominations A couple of weeks ago I wrote about better value for the University, as they exceeded the number of positions the elections for the student fellows may provide more effective input. available - will be issued on Tuesday of Senate, for which nominations are the 30th of August. From and by the now closed, and for which voting opens Some of the arguments in favour of students elected to faculty boards, one on the 16th of September. Of the 22 retaining the one year term are: student from each faculty will be elected fellows of Senate, which is the highest to sit on the Academic Board, which governing body of the University - the More students have the opportunity oversees the academic operations – operations of which are actually set to run for and be on the Senate; the including items such as course approvals by NSW legislation, only TWO are student body changes every year, and – of the University. In other words, students: one undergraduate and therefore they should have the ability to these are pretty important roles, and I one postgraduate. That means that elect a new representative every year; encourage you to keep an eye out on it is incredibly important that those and students who are in their second or your university email, where you should students are effective representatives, third years may be reluctant to run for receive notice of the elections, and take and I strongly encourage you all to the position if they only have one year the time to vote if your faculty is having take the time to assess the candidates left in their degree. a contested election. sort of stability – this issue has been up running, ask them questions, and in the air for literally years now, making most importantly, vote in the elections Which brings me to the point that there Student Services and it hard for both universities and student (which are done online). are also questions around how a two year term would work in practice. If a Amenities Fee unions to undertake effective financial Currently, there is a proposal before student is elected to a two year term, planning. Once the Bill is passed, student the Senate to extend the terms of but is only a student for the first of those The much discussed Student Services organisations will be better placed to lobby the student fellows from one year to years, should they remain the student and Amenities Fee (for an explanation their universities for adequate funding, two years. The equivalent bodies at voice on Senate? Is it appropriate for of what this is, see my columns from because most negotiations across the the University of New South Wales, the student voice (especially given last semester) is finally coming up for country have stalled while everyone waits University of Technology, Sydney, and there are only two student fellows) debate within the Parliament. At the to see what happens with the SSAF. Watch the University of Wollongong all have not to actually be a student? Or should time of writing, it was scheduled as this space for more developments. two year terms, while the equivalent there be a by-election? If there is a by- the last item of Government business And one last thing: bodies at Macquarie University and the election, presumably that student would on Wednesday, and Parliament sits University of Newcastle have one year only serve the remainder of the term, until Thursday night, so there is some terms for their student members. which would mean that there would be chance that the Bill may be debated and Smoking on campus another election in a year anyway, in passed this week. Rumour has it that The University is considering banning Some of the arguments in favour of which case what is the point of two year the Greens may put up amendments smoking on campus except in specially two year terms are: terms? It is possible for student fellows to the Bill mandating that at least a designated areas (hot tip – those areas of Senate to seek re-election, and if portion of the fee go to democratically The University bureaucracy is won’t include bars like Manning and they’ve done a good job, they have elected student organisations, and that pretty complicated. And by pretty Hermann’s). This is obviously a pretty big every chance of winning an election – representation be among the allowable complicated, I mean really freakin’ move by the Uni (and some might say is it better to leave the decision over spend items of the Bill. In discussions complicated. What that means is that a pretty big infringement on individual whether someone should serve a that NUS has had with the Government it can often take a while for student freedoms, but I’ll leave that call up to you), second year up to democracy? so far, they’ve been reluctant to get representatives, particularly those who behind these amendments, and it’s so if you feel strongly about it one way don’t have any previous experience I personally can see the arguments in a pretty safe bet that the Coalition or the other, head to the website http:// with the University bureaucracy, to get favour and against both positions, and won’t be supporting them (given that sydney.edu.au/ohs/wellbeing/smoke-free. their heads around how it all works and would welcome any feedback you have they introduced Voluntary Student shtml for all the information and an online how to be an effective representative. on this issue – hit me up at president@ Unionism in the first place), so these poll where you can indicate your support Often people feel they’re just starting src.usyd.edu.au. amendments may well go down. What for or opposition to the proposal. to really get the hang of it 3-4 months universities and student unions are into the term, and just as they’re really really looking for at the moment is some

Megan Batcheldor WOMENS OFFICER REPORT [email protected]

Violence against women remains depth and scale of violence on campus Out of these results NUS developed Reclaim the Night Rally. The rally, which one of the most prevalent issues and in our colleges rivals the national a ‘Safe Universities Blueprint’ making is held in October, has been running for nationwide. One in three women level: thirty recommendations to improve over thirty years, raising awareness of in Australia will experience physical the experiences and safety of women violence against women. The collective violence in their lifetime. One in five During the day 92% of respondents felt on campus. The women’s department meets at 5.30 at Customs House Circular will experience sexual violence. safe, compared to 24% at night has teamed up with White Ribbon Quay on Tuesday nights. to address these recommendation; Earlier this year the National Union 67% of respondents said that they had Drop us a line at womens.officers@usyd. an unwanted sexual experience meeting with Vice Chancellors, the of Students (NUS) launched the university admin, residential colleges src.edu.au for more information. src results of the ‘Talk About It’ survey. 17% had said they had experienced rape and security. The survey questioned over 1500 Don’t forget our non-autonomous female students on their experiences 9% said they had been hit or physically We are also working with GetUp! to discussion group runs on Monday of sexual assault and harassment, mistreated formulate a five-point preventative nights from 5pm in the Refractory, and how it was dealt with once reported campaign around the issue. So keep an Women’s collective meets at Wednesday Only 3% of respondents who had 1pm in the Women’s Room in the Holme as well their perceptions of safety on experienced assault or harassment had eye out! campus. The results showed that our Building. reported it to their uni and only 2% to Additionally the Usyd women’s officers university campus is not immune to the police. Meghan Batcheldor the systemic and widespread issue of are the key organisers for the annual violence against women. In fact the 18 V Tim Matthews and Al Cameron EDUCATION OFFICER REPORT [email protected]

In what, to some students, may feel The indicators used include things like If you want some rankings that we like sweet, sweet justice, the University the number of alumni of an institution ACTUALLY care about, you should got an embarrassing round of results winning Nobel Prizes (10% weighting), take a gander at the far less reported of its own this week. Two different sets the number of academics cited ‘Good Universities Guide.’ These ratings of rankings were released that didn’t frequently in academic journals (20% use, among other things, graduate reflect all too favourably on the quality weighting), and the ‘number of papers and industry feedback to provide of education here. The University of published in Nature and Science’ (also a a rating out of five stars across a Sydney slipping in the rankings is bad 20% weighting). range of criterion. Our Uni scored an for numerous reasons, not least of all is embarrassing 1/5 for ‘Good Teaching: the insufferable gloating of University Precisely none of the indicators used by Graduate View,’ (and a worrying 3/5 for of Queensland students. Don’t worry, ARWU relate to undergraduate learning staff ‘qualification’ – WHAT DOES THAT though – we’re here to tell you why you outcomes, the teaching environment or MEAN?) Cheer up though, we scored shouldn’t give a fuck what your gloating student resources in a direct way. Sure, if 5/5 for starting salaries post-uni (even hipster friends from the University of my lecturer is cited in a lot of international if we only managed 2/5 for ‘Success in Melbourne think – journals, it probably means he is smart – getting a job’). The University ought to but it hardly means he is a great teacher. focus more on ranking systems such So, what’s in a number? The deeper problem with rankings like as these which speak directly to the these is that they are an incentive for student experience. One of the reasons that this ranking Universities to focus on research rather isn’t cause to start shipping off to other than teaching outcomes. As if the fact At the end of the day, our slip in the Universities is that the calculations that they are more financially lucrative rankings could be worse: We can still behind the ranks are largely deceptive. wasn’t reason enough, the media focus on gloat at our ugly cousin down the road – The rankings that made headlines last rankings like these makes it much more UTS was ranked between 401 and 500! th week (where we were ranked 96 in the likely that the University will continue world) were published by the Academic its trend of prioritising funding to Ranking of World Universities (ARWU). postgraduate education.

Chad Sidler GENERAL SECRETARY’S report [email protected] Last week two USU Board Directors eventually catch up to you. People have undertaken dramatic spending cap reform were finally removed due to spending tried to defend their actions by saying to ensure we continue to maintain the cap irregularities in the 2010 elections. “everyone does it” or that the recent integrity of our elections and to not These two individuals sat on the USU electoral changes “make up for it” and allow the blatant abuse to occur that executive. They might not be the are the “appropriate solution”. happened during the USU elections last last given the evidence available in year. This process was started by ex- relation to the two remaining executive NO! SRC Representative Tom Clement who members. In the weeks to come reformed the Honi-Soit elections and I Every day they continued to be allowed they themselves might come under continued with reforming the Presidential to stay on the board (and the same pressure to resign or may be removed and SRC Representative elections earlier goes for some that are still on there) in similar circumstances to their former this year. makes a mockery of our student colleagues. run organisations and trashes their It is only with a clear, transparent and Why did this occur? Blatant spending integrity. Our USU is under attack from realistic system can we ensure the integrity cap breaches and the illegality of their the University and the last thing it of our student elections. It is only with actions to try and cover it up. It all needs is doubt over the integrity of it’s their integrity intact that our student board. The same board that is meant comes back to fairness. The USU has organisations can have legitimacy on Chad (L-R) a spending cap of approx. $700. One to stand up to the University and say campus to stand up on behalf of students, of these individuals that was finally that it is quite capable of managing especially when they are not financially removed spent $831.60 on T-shirts student affairs and there is no need for independent. Our student organisations alone. That was for just the t-shirts, not the University to take over. A bit hard started to regain some legitimacy last including the screen-printing on both a message to sell when you have no week. sides! If people are going to make false integrity. claims about their expenditure and go It is just a shame it had to be left up to the Spending caps exist for a reason. to the extent of Photoshopping their Vice-Chancellor and the University Senate Over the last 12 months the SRC has tax invoice receipts then Karma will to do it for us.

Nathan Li & Clare Sullivan [email protected] QUEER OFFICER REPORT [email protected] Hello my possums! There will also be a - PARTY - in the year we welcome the Queer Revue Cellar Theatre during Pride Week. It’s production: The Queen during – get your The most fantastic time of the year on Thursday the 8th and the theme tickets now! SULS presents the The Big is dawning upon us! PRIDE WEEK! is SAFARI! So make sure you do come Gay Moot on Wednesday, August 24 · Woohoo! Pride Week will be between along! 7:00pm - 10:00pm at our Moot Court 5th and 9th September. We’ve got with… FOOD. As Queer Officer this year so many goodies lined up this year. Also Queer Honi is also coming up. I feel so privileged to work with other As usual we’ll have Coming Out by We’ve got our editorial team now, so pioneers to bring a campus that is more Candlelight and some picnics and forum it’s time to start contributing. That’s diverse and more active than any other speakers and workshops (including a right! I want your submissions. Opinion across the country. drag workshop!!!). A more complete pieces, art, stories, however you want timetable will be published later on. to express yourself – together we can As students we do have a very strong please come along to our meetings at Most of these events will be non- make Queer Honi great! Send your affinity for campaigning but at the same 1pm on Mondays in the Queerspace – autonomous so that means EVERYONE submissions to queerhoni2011@gmail. time we have a (I daresay stronger!) meet new people, listen in and if/when src is welcome to attend. I want to make com! affinity for meeting new people and you’re feeling comfortable – contribute! everyone feel welcome. So if you’re making lasting friendships along the way. Alternatively if you just want to be put totes down with the queers, then come Finally I just want to say the way queer I know this is getting a bit sentimental on our mailing list then send me an along and tell me how down with me culture is evolving on campus just makes but all this cannot happen without email (it’s there on the top right hand you are! And if you’re one of the queers, me so wonderfully giddy. Last year we student leaders taking the initiative corner!) bring a friend who is totes down with welcomed the birth of SHADES and and putting ideas into practice. So what the queers. Queer Revue and SULS also launched I’m trying to say is if you’re passionate Yours in Gaga, their Queer Officer portfolio. So this about making our campus even campier, Nathan Li 19 D CRYPToNOMiCON ACROSS! DOWN! CRYPTICCROSSLYRICS 4. Method of timing (6) 1. Connects your calls and sends 8. Harangue about a hundred sheep rubbish back after Don Giovanni, for (6) example (8) 9. Ban ringer from lifting weight (7) 2. Opens door to a flat, for example 10. This crossword’s theme is one of (3) Rolling Gart these, in a way (3) 3. Raised and pointy (5) 11. Tina’s sporting venue (5) 5. Horn may play chords (7) 13. Rotten and ungrateful (7) 6. Three times a lady, usually (6) 15. Bert shoots alternate philosophy 7. Extremely loony mode makes a (5) tune (6) 16. Sink St. Blues? (5) 9. Deep C fish (4) 19. Scottish town that’s music to my 12. First note: Goes well with gin (5) ears (3) 14. Soft instrument? (5) 21. Ride about three German’s (4) 17. “I am ox” isn’t an undisputed 22. Cutting this newspaper brings truth (5) me to tears (4) 18. Loud strength? (5) 23. On dodos, these give the 20. Mates with the bottoms (5) answer! (4) 24. The fifth chord ruling (8) 25. First aid measure that Marty 26. Threw and found frequency (7) McFly knows (3) 27. E.T’s counteract (6) 29. Smite, destroy things (5) 28. I am it, a messy cocktail (6) 31. Stops and shoots (5) 30. Crayon residue hides cube maker 32. Praise for being lower (7) (4) 34. Clever, like a nift (5) 33. Employees to write notes on (5) 35. A Metallica single (3) 37. Perform in the capital (3) 36. Hats.com make jazz great (7) 38. In front of hearing Dunaway sing (6) 39. Chords for Chinese gang (6) BENNY DAVIS will be cryptic for food. TARGET t e o PSEUDOKU s e l RATING: r r v Quite hard if you’ve been drinking.

Alessandro TuniZ COMIC fun

20 Rolling Gart Three Doors Down THE Cinema Club FUCKS Further demeaning the idea of the supergroup They’re back! Fred Durst our exclusive interview PLUS “Why didn’t anyone Bob Dylan’s new album spell biscuit for me?” “Eighrerhghigh, Tennessee!” O u r T o p T e n L i s t s of all time! What will be #1? This one?

Catchin’ up with Ben Folds CRAZY FROG Finally, it’s a verb! “Ba ding ding ding, Token current affairs article ba ding ding heroin!” That you can pretend to read David Bowie: “ I a m n o t B i l l y I d o l . Alternate Reality Stop saying I am Billy Idol!” releases new hit song Bruce Springsteen ‘Is She Really Going Out What is he the boss of? Being a jerk? With Himmler?’ + BERT COBAIN Mo' Money, Mo' zart!

James Blake samples sound of tree Notorious P.I.G. returns - falling in woods for new album “Where dem Babes at?” EDITOR’S NOTE Page 17: we talk to Aussie hip-hop mega-group, The Herd! Another day, another opportunity to James and struggle beneath the gargantuan patina of importance that the public foists the Giant on us. It’s not easy to arbitrate the aesthetic consumption of a bunch of fools who can’t tell Ryan Adams from Brian Adams (hint: we like one of them ironically, and the other not at all). Niche But in between my morning latte and my mid-morning latte, I have another Another tri-week, latte, and I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna another instalment of... have that latte while giving you all the reasons that the new Arcade Fire album THE ART OF isn’t as good as the Arcade Fire album that Braid recorded when they were supposed to be in prison, or give you a rating for the greatest album you never BEING heard out of 10.00 thumbs up. With Meredith zimmer Look guys. We’re here for you. Not in person, of course. If you were in trouble me. They allow their dogs to grow we’d just get the hell out of there, up, out and arrogant. They buy their Another week of pre-self-indulgence but we’d have a goddamned good dogs special foods, people-shirts and soundtrack for it. Besides, sometimes from our regular columnist, Coldplay CDs. I can’t talk about my you need that cool friend who’s not music for the press. Words don’t do JAMES LO-STREAM DOOMCORE really your friend but is definitely cool. Over the course of my ten-year my music justice. Music doesn’t do Sometimes you need a shove in the career a lot of people have asked One more glitch-funk day, one more my music justice. I’m going to have right direction and sometimes we need me, “Meredith, why are you bossa-punk interview. With math-trance to pioneer something else. And to to shove you in front of a car, is that so unsuccessful?” sensation Bl33dface MC Circa Circa those who say “Meredith, you didn’t fate? Some say yes, our lawyers say Pandaface’s personal post-core number invent music” I say I may as well no. But I digress. Benzedrine is a harsh In fact, this is my most frequently in hand, it was time for a conversation. have. Can you name one other thing mistress. I TAKE IT BECAUSE LESTER asked question, as well as the Making the call, I sauntered into my that someone else has done? I can’t. BANGS TOOK IT. question most frequently answered neo-classical nouveau-pop kitchen to by people who aren’t me. Mothers, I make music for me. I am an “indie make a hard rocksynth sandwich. While The point, suckas, is that without us housemates, construction workers DIY superstar” in the words of this I pondered how the interview would you’d be lost. You wouldn’t know what and judgemental dogs, all of them very magazine (which kindly printed panpipe out, I caught a glimpse of was good, and if you did, you wouldn’t have their reasons for my constant, my press release word-for-word). my dream-industrial self in my euro- know why, or how, or when to be sick unremitting failure. folktronica fridge door. My, what a of it, or when it comes back, or when to Speaking of magazines, I also handsome music expertisio, I clucked, like it ironically, or when it’s no longer Personally I blame irony. Irony is blame the music press, which does lo-fily. Slapping a handful of post-wave cool to like it ironically, or when to be what denies success to those who nothing but insist that people should cream cheese on my world-minimalist sick of irony overall, or when to use need it most, the unsuccessful. like me, despite my overall lack wholegrain organic Ryvita, the call was commas. Not everybody can write about Cruel irony, the motivation behind of accomplishments. I suspect that made, and Bl33dface’s (let’s call him music. It takes a special kind of writer. my second album’s brief affair people don’t like being told what to Bl33dy) sultry dub-goth croon spilled It takes Benzedrine. It takes the Rolling with country! How the turntable do. Has anyone ever written a song through the grime-jazz line. Gart. It takes Benzedrine. How does it has turned. about that? Anyway, I’m going to feel? To be on the charts? Just like the keep saying I’m a musician despite Was he electro-Baroque happy with Don’t think I don’t blame the public. Rolling Gart? We will tell you, then scoff the flames of failure roaring at my the new witch-soul release? “Who is Sure, fans have liked me, sometimes at our computers. back. Who’s gonna stop me? Not this?” he answered, hip-hoply. I mulled for minutes at a time, but ultimately you! Not me! Not the newly formed on the synth sandwich while he waxed Gareth Swadling my failure rests on them. They Musicians Solidarity Front! (I lyrical about his lyrics about wax, and xx continue to like things other than fear them). something about acousticana-two tone candles. Damn it was a good sandwich. Almost, too good, I noted, afrobeatly. ROLLING GART PRESENTS THE It was time to drop the burning blue- eyed fusion cakewalk. And by that I mean the question. And by that I mean, how difficult was it for Bl33dy to sample that toadstool? A pre-chillwave genius decision. “What toadstool? How did you get this number?” he agreed, with all the trance-metal reserve of a trance-thrash artiste. We were on the same level.

With a friendly cybergrind reminder from Calling Card Credit, it was time to post-wrap things up and call for some delta-rap thoughts on his garage-bop single. “The person you are calling is no longer available,” he warbled, Irishly. Nodding and taking cat-electronica notes from his Italo-Gypso sentiments, I took the last kraut-bite of my sandwich and laid down the receiver. Adjusting my Tropicana-deathpop tie with all the attractiveness of a pre-neo-avant-semi- demi-hemi-god, my editor was going to post-love this.

Congratulations to the winners of Rolling Gart’s Letter of the Week: LAURENCE ROSIER STAINES, NEADA BULSECO, SHANNON CONNELLAN, BRIDIE CONNELLAN, TOM WALKER, JULIAN LANARCH, ANDY FRASER, OTTO WICKS-GREEN, JAMES COLLEY, MICHAEL CALL 1800 JAY-Z-SCRAT TO ORDER YOURS TODAY AND FINALLY SCRATCH THAT DIRT OFF YOUR SHOULDER. LIKE A PIMP’S PIMP. IN NEW YOOOOOORK. RICHARDSON You all spelt your racial hatespeech with astonishing accuracy. probably KANYE WEST page 57 Accidentally sober Tom Waits realises MUSiC he’s 42 years late for his first day at work NEWS

Grammy-award-winning artist Tom dithering from one end of his house Waits’ eyes opened wide in shock on to the other as long-forgotten dates, Dire Straits in financial trouble Tuesday in what onlookers described as appointments, exams and meals came a “frantic moment of sobriety”. to mind for the first time in decades. “I guess you could say we’re suffering fiscal difficulties.” “Oh fuck,” said Waits, “Jimmy’s.” “What are you?” Waits shouted at his Blackberry. Kiss makeup actually horrific Waits is believed to be referring to birthmarks James Crandall’s Icecreamery and Between 11:30 and 1:15, Waits was Corner Store, a multi-purpose small heard to exclaim that missing his first “I! Want to rock and roll all night! And get business established in 1922 in Waits’ day at Jimmy’s meant that he wouldn’t reconstructive surgery every day.” hometown, the location of which he be able to take Rachel Holdsworth cannot remember. to the big dance, buy petrol for his Daft Punk take off helmets old man’s jalopy or ever have the “Dah, I gotta learn to use the till, and best milkshake in town again. Waits’ Smaller helmets within. the shake machine, and unclog the suspicion that he’d “never be able to gumballs,” said a visibly distraught show [his] tail around Jimmy’s again” Waits to his empty house, wringing his P Diddy changes name to Piddly was validated thirty years ago, when Diddly hands. the Icecreamery finally closed its doors. Third change this week definitely “Where are my keys?” added a frazzled As for the man Waits feared would the best. Waits, who last had steady access to a “spread the bad news about [him] Pictured above: Tom Waits. car at 16. through the town” Crandall himself is A-Ha cover band actually A-Ha Several other epiphanies hit Waits over believed to have died in the early 70s. the next hour, sending the musician Crandall worked alone until his death. Critics agree that one song was still pretty good. Three Doors Down celebrate ten year anniversary Dire Straits in financial trouble “We can only be described as being in a of anyone thinking about Three Doors Down tight spot.” One man band trapped in unending In a private ceremony, the members had a name. “It took me a minute to to play one of those things in Three nightmare of Three Doors Down have celebrated even remember how many members Doors Down.” the tenth anniversary since anyone there were in Three Doors Down. It “Which way do I have to move my leg to thought about the band Three was three, right? That’s why we had “Or maybe I was in Smash Mouth,” pull the trigger on this gun?” Doors Down. the name.” he added. Status Quo decides not to fire lead The ceremony was held at a location The other members of Three Doors The last recollection of Three Doors singer in the band’s hometown of Parts Down was by college resident Paul Down were unwilling to comment on Unknown and included fans, well- the anniversary, which was fortunate Krane who remarked that he “kinda “I guess you could say we’d like to keep wishers and four men between the as The Rolling Gart couldn’t really liked that one song”. However, this things the same.” ages of 25-50 who were fairly certain thought is now as distant a memory remember who they were. Reports that there was a guy with a pretty rad they were actually in Three Doors as that hit song. The one about Men at Work start touring again Down. superman. You know, that one. mohawk who may have played bass couldn’t be confirmed. “It certainly looks like we’re going back “Even we were a bit surprised when “I walked past a guitar store the other into employment.” we remembered that we used to be a day and I was just genuinely confused bit of a big deal,” said that lead singer as to what it was selling before it hit Music pirates take control of the of Three Doors Down, who probably me,” the singer continued “I used eastern seaboard

“We wouldn’t steal a car. We would steal a seaboard.” Sweet as Music The Kinks visit chiropractor Confectionary to go straight to your hips'-ter! “I guess you could say we’re trying to iron out the knots in our muscles.”

Bon-bon Ivers! Rolling Stones gather Kate Moss

Frito Foxes! Still can’t get satisfaction. Sugar Rós! Whales form throwback band Wu-Tang Flan! The Beached Boys don’t really Friendly Fries! get around. Pixies Sticks! Lil Wayne short for Lillian Wayne Lady Gaga! (caramel) Promises to still “fuck ya up.” Flogging Lolly! Josh Pikelets! Methuselah-Palooza All-for-prophet concert series. Iggy Lollypop! Eels! Ground Control to Major Lazer: Order from the Cave of the Sugar Pixies! BWOM BWOM BWOM. It's pretty underground you probably wouldn't know about it Students’ Representative Council BECOME A MEMBER! The University of Sydney Join in person at the SRC Office or SRC Bookshop (details below)

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