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Doing Right When You're Wronged

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Doing Right When You're Wronged Pastor Steven J. Cole Flagstaff Christian Fellowship 123 S. Beaver Street Flagstaff, Arizona 86001 www.fcfonline.org DOING RIGHT WHEN YOU’RE WRONGED Romans 12:17-21 By Steven J. Cole July 8, 2012 © Steven J. Cole, 2012 To access previous sermons or to subscribe to weekly ser- mons via email go to Sermons tab: www.fcfonline.org Unless otherwise noted, all Scripture Quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, Updated Edition © The Lockman Foundation July 8, 2012 Romans Lesson 87 Doing Right When You’re Wronged Romans 12:17-21 What I said last week also applies to this message: I’m speak- ing on a subject about which I have almost no experience: Doing right when you’re wronged. I’ve had many instances where people did wrong things to me, of course, but rarely anything traumatic. My parents loved me, brought me to faith in Christ, and taught me His ways. I had a relatively easy childhood. But some of you have suffered traumatic wrongs. You may have had parents who were emotionally, physically, or even sexually abusive. Some of you have suffered (or perhaps are currently suf- fering) in an abusive marriage. You live daily under a barrage of verbal and emotional attacks that include either threats of physical harm or actual physical abuse. Or, perhaps your mate was unfaith- ful and you struggle with bitterness over being betrayed. Some of you have been victims of major fraud or theft. A few may have been the victim of a violent crime, such as rape or as- sault. Perhaps a loved one was murdered. Some may have suffered injury or trauma serving our country in the military. But here in America, few of us have suffered as much as our brothers and sisters in countries where there is open hostility to- ward the gospel. John Piper (“Do not Avenge Yourselves, but Give Place to Wrath,” on DesiringGod.org) tells the story of the martyr- dom of Graham Staines and his two sons: In January, 1999 Graham Staines and his two sons, Phil- lip (10) and Timothy (6) were mobbed by radical Hindus, trapped inside their vehicle in … India, and burned alive. The three charred bodies were recovered clinging to each other. Graham Staines had spent 34 years serving the people of India in the name of Jesus. He was the director of the Leprosy Mis- sion in Baripada, Orissa. He left behind his widow Gladys and daughter Esther. … Her response was in every paper in India to the glory of Christ. She said, a few days after the martyrdom of her hus- 1 band and sons, “I have only one message for the people of India. I’m not bitter. Neither am I angry. But I have one great desire: that each citizen of this country should establish a per- sonal relationship with Jesus Christ who gave his life for their sins … let us burn hatred and spread the flame of Christ’s love.” Everyone thought she would move back to Australia. No. She said God had called them to India, and she would not leave. She said, “My husband and our children have sacri- ficed their lives for this nation; India is my home. I hope to be here and continue to serve the needy.” Then, perhaps most remarkable of all—listen to this all you who are teenagers— her daughter Esther was asked how she felt about the murder of her dad, and the thirteen year old, said, “I praise the Lord that He found my father worthy to die for Him.” Wow! That is a God-thing! There is no other way to explain it. A similar thing happened in 2007 in Turkey, where Islamic mili- tants mutilated and murdered German missionary Tilman Geske, a father of three, and two Turkish believers, one of whom had two young children. Geske’s widow also publicly forgave the murderers and vowed to continue her ministry in Turkey. That’s the high biblical standard that we’re called to! I’m not going to tell you that I could respond as those godly widows did, unless God gave me unusual grace. But we need to understand how God wants us to respond when we are wronged, whether in a relatively minor or in a major way. We need to practice with the minor wrongs that we suffer so that we’ll be prepared for the major wrongs. In Romans 12:17-21, Paul teaches that… The Christian response to being wronged is to do right toward your enemy, leaving all vengeance with God. As with the previous section (12:14-16), the thread of selfless- ness or self-denial runs through our text. Our aim must be (as Paul’s was; Phil. 1:20), to exalt Christ in our bodies, whether by life or by death. Our desire should be that our enemy would come to know the same mercy and grace that we found at the cross. And so, rather than responding to the evil done against us with evil or with vengeance, we are commanded to respond with the radical 2 love of Christ that overcomes evil with good. The world says, “Don’t get mad; get even!” But our Lord says (Luke 6:27), “Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” 1. The wrong response to being wronged is to pay it back with wrong. Paul says this three times in slightly different ways for empha- sis: Romans 12:17a: “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.” Verse 19a, “Never take your own revenge, beloved….” Verse 21, “Do not be overcome by evil….” Paul gives a similar command in 1 Thessalonians 5:15, “ See that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people.” (See, also, 1 Peter 3:9.) John Calvin points out that returning evil for evil may not be as severe as seeking revenge, but it is still forbidden. For example, your husband snaps unkindly at you and you respond by being cold to him or by not speaking to him. You aren’t plotting revenge, but you’re not exactly blessing him. You’re returning evil for evil. Or, if someone makes a cutting remark and you try to counter it, even in jest, you’re returning evil for evil. I still remember when the Lord convicted me of this. When I was in college, a bunch of guys met weekly for dinner and Bible study. While we were waiting for dinner and exchanging small talk, it often devolved into a “chop” session, where one guy would make a humorous put-down about another guy, and he would re- spond with a funny put-down of the first guy. We all would laugh and sometimes pile on with more humorous put-downs. Then one night, a newer Christian in our group said with a se- rious look on his face, “Guys, we’re sinning to talk like this.” We all jumped on him with our excuses: “Come on, we’re just having fun.” But he stood his ground and cited verses like Ephesians 4:29, “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” One by one, we all finally admitted that he was right. We asked forgiveness of one another and the chop sessions ended that night. Revenge, which goes a step beyond returning evil for evil, is motivated by pride. Someone’s sinful actions against us wound our 3 pride, so we want to get even to restore our honor. Many cultures around the world are driven by these honor codes. One family or tribe offends another tribe, so the offended party retaliates by in- flicting revenge. This momentarily puts them on top, but only until their rival can devise a way to get even. Sometimes these feuds go on for centuries, resulting in needless bloodshed and warfare. The same mindset is behind the Muslim “honor killings,” where a fam- ily member who shames the family is killed to restore the family’s honor. It all stems from sinful pride. Pastor Bob Deffinbaugh (bible.org, “Loving Your Enemies: Overcoming Evil with Good”) shows four reasons from these verses that it is always wrong to take your own revenge. (1) “Re- venge runs contrary to what society deems to be right.” Note verse 17b: “Respect what is right in the sight of all men.” Our laws pro- hibit vigilante justice, where one person takes it upon himself to right some perceived wrong. And, while we sometimes chuckle at the absurd extremes that people take to get revenge, at least our culture usually knows that their behavior is wrong. The world gen- erally knows that revenge solves nothing. (2) “Revenge does not promote peace but incites men to hos- tility.” In verse 18, Paul says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” Vengeance doesn’t lead to peace, but to further vengeance. It keeps the vicious cycle going. (3) “Revenge usurps a task which belongs only to God.” In verse 19, Paul says, “Leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, ‘Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord.” We are incompetent to carry out personal vengeance, because we cannot know all of the motives and circumstances that were behind a per- son’s wrongful action towards us.
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