2 For lefties only!

By Megan Lance It’s a well-known while left-handed people had more trou- ing Redbird Writer fact that people ble. Lefties also were proven to be more amount used to try to force inhibited, and spend hours on basic deci- of more their children to be right-handed, even if sions. Then, worrying afterwards that acci- they weren’t. However, were they wrong they’d made the wrong choice. dents. for doing so? Is being left-handed in a We’re screwed at school! Al- Is this Volume 70 Issue 6 world that is 90% right-handed a disad- though it’s not as bad as it used to be, because turnover December 11th, 2012 vantage? Studies show that yes, this is teachers in one day and age used to beat we’re By Alexis Boyer Depending on how far you in their career, traveling back to a fa- the case. Why? left-handed kids with paddles to get fatally Redbird Writer live from the institution of your miliar place is obviously much easier Obviously, hating them is in- them to do things the “right” way, pun grained in our culture. Well, maybe not intended. If you are right-handed, you’re I intend to choice, traveling to and from your the closer you are. home/to and from the school or to “Depending on endowments America’s culture so much as the rest of probably not aware that there are right- clumsy? Well, probably not. Think enroll in an in-state university. Regard- the world. In the eastern half of the handed desks, right-handed scissors, about it, in America we do everything less of where you plan to attend, some have family and friends visit can re- for schools in your state, students may quire copious amounts of fuel. The be eligible for more merit-based schol- world and even some places in Europe, right-handed pencil sharpeners, etc. in right-handed. We drive in the right lane; students may not recognize all the doing anything with your left hand is every classroom. To add to this, left- turn right at red lights, etc. We live in a cost of fuel for the various trips you or arships and grants by staying in their benefits that come along with remain- considered dirty. In places such as India, handed students do worse on timed ex- flipped upside down world folks! If a ing in your home state. Probably the your family will need to take only adds home state” (FOX Business). These shaking hands with someone with your ams and get more back and neck cramps squirrel jumps out in front of a right- most well recognized and influential to the already crippling amount of col- scholarships can range from smaller left hand is an insult because it is known in the process! handed person, they are going to swerve benefit of staying in-state is dramati- lege fees you will be expected to pay. amounts, in the hundreds or thousands, that you only use that hand when you Insanity is linked to us. Even to the right, into a light pole or some- cally reduced tuition costs. The aver- Remaining in your home state typi- to full-ride scholarships worth tens of use the rest room. It’s scientifi- though we make up only 10% of the thing comical like that. If a left-handed age cost of an Ohio public university is cally cuts down on traveling costs, and thousands of dollars. cally proven that lefties are actually population, we make up 20% of the person is faced with the same situation, between $15,000 and $30,000. If a in turn, the total cost of college itself. Even while remaining in your more easily frightened. They’re twice as schizophrenics! We’re also more likely they’ll instinctively swerve to the left student who resides somewhere other On the topic of travel, if you home state, you can experience all the likely to suffer from PTSD, or post trau- to be ADD, dyslexic, and have more into oncoming traffic, results not being than Ohio applies to the same univer- expect to visit your family and friends things that make most people opt for matic stress disorder. That’s right, the mood disorders. Different sides of the quite as comical. sity, the cost then becomes $30,000 - back home often (or have them visit out-of-state colleges and universities – disorder that is usually linked to veter- brain control different parts of the body, So what should we do? Accept it, I $60,000 – the fees practically double. you), the closer you remain to home, new people, a new physical landscape ans, or people who escape serial killers. and left-handedness is sometimes be- guess. Oh well. Out-of-state fees are so much higher the easier the task will be, and the and new activities. You can live close While conducting an experiment, re- lieved to be a glitch that also leads to because you and/or your family have more likely that it will be accom- to home or several hours away, but searchers had a group of left-handed and these different mental disorders. not been contributing to the state in plished at all. If you ever start to feel still reap the benefits of attending an right-handed people watch 8 minutes of Uh-oh guys, we die much which the school is located in the form homesick or out-of-place, as most col- Ohio school. Silence of the Lambs, and right-handed sooner than our right-handed partners. of taxes. lege students tend to feel at some point people could recollect scenes relaxed, Why is this? Well, we get into an alarm- Hillsdale facing drastic funding cuts Wait, so what is a hipster? By Sage Weber Schools sports. Over 100 students are in FFA be cut; as in District Technology Coor- By Shelby Snyder ally aware of and interested in new die hard hipsters apparently like to Redbird Writer around us have had and FCCLA at the high school; with dinator, one high school Vo-Ag Redbird Writer and unconventional patterns (as in keep up on modern jazz music. levy’s fail. One in also roughly around 90 students in teacher, the middle school home eco- jazz or fashion).” Another defini- Hipsters don't get enough particular is the Hillsdale School Dis- high school band. With all of the fi- nomics (FCS) teacher, the middle In today's world people dis- cuss hipsters without actually going tion is “One who is exceptionally credit. Think about how exhausting trict. Since their school levy failed this nancial cuts being made many students school industrial arts teacher, the ele- aware of or interested in the latest it has to be to continuously keep up means many things will happen to the will not be able to do what they are mentary guidance counselor, 1.5 kin- into detail of what a hipster is ex- trends and tastes, especially a devo- on the latest trends in all aspects of school. Certain teachers, bus drivers interested in most. dergarten teachers, and three core sub- actly. Judgments are made and and bus routes, extra-curricular oppor- The Hillsdale school district ject classroom teachers. Another things are said that as far as we tee of modern jazz.” entertainment and fashion? I would tunities, and many other things will be has made cuts so that there are only 4 would be the closing of building and know may be entirely false state- When looking at these defi- be drained and tired of always fig- cut. Hillsdale spends $1,500 less per full time and 5 part time employees in grounds of all school facilities during ments. I took the liberty of re- nitions, it is apparent most of us are uring out the latest and greatest pupil than the state average. Hillsdale food service. Bus routes have been evening hours except for student ac- searching and finding out just what not fully aware of a true hipster is. thing. For this reason, I respect hip- K-12 Student to Teacher Ratio is shortened from 16 to 13, saving the tivities. exactly a hipster is. Now when peo- Most understand that a hipster is sters and their lifestyles because I higher than the statewide average, and district thousands of dollars annually. The worst change will be the ple are in a conversation and hip- someone who stays on top of the could never keep up with such a is the highest in the county. And, the Also since the levy failed there are pay to participate for student activities, sters are brought up, they will latest and newest trends, in fashion lifestyle. After looking at what hip- Student to Administrator ratio is 140% many more cuts and changes that have which will begin for winter sports this especially, but most probably did sters really are, I think everyone over the state average, also the highest been made or will change soon to try year at an estimated $300 per student know what exactly they are talking about. not realize that by definition hip- can gain some respect for the in the county. There are many Hills- to avoid the expected $558,147 by the per activity. Next year it will be $700. sters are into jazz music. Granted, amounts of free time that must be dale students that participate in varsity, end of the school year. Such as many So much has and will happen to the The actual definition of a maybe not everyone we classify as used to keep up with the trends. junior varsity, and middle school as around 9.5 teaching position would Hillsdale School District. hipster is “a person who is unusu- “hipster” likes modern jazz, but the 3 4 Life is too short, so don’t waste it! Benefits of in-state colleges and universities By Haley Carroll pens that makes them believe life is too late. Instead of skydiving, you By Alexis Boyer In 2004, tended strike. Redbird Writer short or the end is near. could spend more time with your Redbird Writer declared its first . Their Prior to their liquidation, nd Planning exotic trips or tak- family. Instead of swimming with stock share fell from $34 per share, to was the 2 largest bread Skydiving, swim- ing adrenaline-filled risks are ways sharks, you could help those less $2.05 per share – clearly, a very dra- baker in the country, and in total had ming with sharks, going to Paris— As many are currently aware, of keeping yourself occupied so fortunate. Instead of going to Paris, matic decrease in value. Interstate an annual sale of 2.5 billion dollars. these are just a few of the most the producer of Ho Ho's, Ding Dongs, you won't have to think about you could—actually, on second Bakeries emerged from this bank- “The company said it had been mak- popular things to do before you die. and the iconic prepackaged baked ruptcy in 2009, and declared what ing 500 million and 127 death. You give yourself more to thought, you should go to Paris. Many people make bucket lists good, the Twinkie, Hostess, has been would be its final name change, to million loaves of annu- look forward to so you don't have Don't use a bucket list as an these days, but are they really mak- experiencing some serious financial Incorporated. At this ally before Friday's shut- to cope with the fact that you are excuse for trying to avoid death, ing the most out of life or just de- issues. However, this is not strictly a time, Hostess also moved its head- down” (CNN). Hostess employed dying. but instead as a way to be happy recent affair. nying their inevitable demise? quarters from Kansas City, Missouri, about 18,500 people in 33 bakeries, These lists shouldn't be with your life and accept death. Founded in 1930, Interstate Have you noticed that many to Irving, Texas. Hostess filed for 565 distribution centers and 570 outlet about filling your time before you You know what? Life is short, so Bakeries Corporation, which is cur- people don't even think about a bankruptcy again this January. On stores nationwide. die. Bucket lists should be about don't waste your time skydiving rently known by the name Hostess bucket list until something hap- November 16, 2012, Hostess sought Hostess will sell its assets to finding out who you are and mak- and do something that matters! Brands, Inc. owns and operates Host- permission to close its business and the “highest bidder,” and that once pens? Maybe they are diagnosed ing yourself a better person. Bucket ess, Wonder Bread, Nature's Pride (an sell its assets. On November 21, 2012, loved products could very possibly be with a terminal illness, or they get lists should begin now, when you're all natural bread company), Dolly the permission was granted by the back on store shelves eventually. That into a car accident; something hap- Madison (producer of the Zinger), young, and not when it's already United States Bankruptcy Court for is to say, this may very well be the Butternut Breads, and Drake's the Southern District of New York. last we see of the Hostess brand, but (producer of Ring Dings, and The company lay partial blame on a the Twinkie is not necessarily gone Sevenly: The ultimate charity Devil Dogs, along with a variety of bakers strike as the reason for the re- for good. However, the almost 20,000 other snack cakes). In the course of cent financial troubles – a strike people that were once employed by By Meghan Hunt “Join our cause!” izes that week's charity. Once the week Funding (56% of the problem) the last 82 years, this company has brought on by a recent cut in benefits Hostess will not be able to return to Redbird Writer “Donate to is up, those products and the artwork was an issue because many charities been traded between the hands of pri- and wages. They claimed they just did their jobs. the cause!” are gone forever and new ones come die in the harsh years of the start-up vate and public owners, and has al- not have the funds to survive an ex- “Give to charity!” out along with a new charity. phase. Paying rent, paying staff, and tered its name a total of seven times. How often have you heard Their mission is to harness the funding the cause are impossible with- these phrases? Probably quite often. power of art and community to build out money. Donating or giving money to charities sustainable awareness and fund move- Following (18% of the prob- Out with the old, in with the new isn't an unheard of thing. Many people ments that support charities in their lem) was also an issue because many By Maghan Hunt So, Zach and Not only have the shows them- Well, instead of laughing at give money all the time, even if it's efforts to change the world. They be- charities have had great exposure but Redbird Writer Cody gradu- selves changed, but so have we. As we Tom and Jerry chasing each other with just a quarter in the red Salvation lieve in the value of the human being, little commitment from followers due ated, Andy have grown older, our taste in shows has knives we now watch high school girls Army bucket outside . and that there is no greater calling than to little “cause connection” making gave away his toys, Hannah told her evolved. It's time to face the facts. Even being threatened by an unknown some- But what cause and what char- to provide, heal, rescue, and serve oth- their mission very hard to sustain. secret, and Phil went back to the future. if those old shows were still on, we one who killed their best friend. Or ity? How can you decide where to put ers. Their vision is to one day be the In response to these problems, It's official, our childhood is over. All of wouldn't watch them anyway. Instead of sometimes we change it up and instead your money? What if you don't know world's most effective cause activation Sevenly was formed. Since it was the shows that we watched growing up Cartoon Network and Disney Channel, of watching Friends we now turn on about a charity for the area you want to platform leading a generation toward formed it has raised around are gone. now it's MTV, The CW, and ABC Fam- Gossip Girl. Is it just me, or is there a donate to? intentional generosity and love for oth- $1,404,700. However, it is a for-profit As we get older so do the stars ily. certain amount of irony in going from a That's what Sevenly is for. ers. organization. of our favorite TV shows. They can't If we were to watch say, Han- show about a group of friends to a show Sevenly is a weekly cause ac- Sevenly was created in June of “As a for profit, we have more really have the Suite Life of Zach and nah Montana, now, we wouldn't be en- about someone who posts gossip online? tivation platform. Every week they 2011. The creators founded it because freedom in giving internationally, in- Cody about two young boys when they tertained. “Sweet Niblets” is no more. I think it's safe to say that our tastes partner with a new non-profit organi- they saw “the charity dilemma”. vesting in developing communities, start hitting puberty. So what do they Now it's all about “A” and Meatballs. probably have not become more refined zation, we create unique art and lim- Across the world, there are thousands and more agility to move money do? They cancel the show of course. Have our tastes become more refined or (History Channel lovers excluded). ited edition products that they sell ex- of charities in every category imagin- quickly to the people who need it,” Now kids are stuck with shows like more twisted though? So yes, they canceled our shows clusively on their website, able. The problem was a lack of explained Sevenly's CEO in an inter- Shake It Up and Ant Farm. For those of you who watch the from our childhood, but are we really Sevenly.org, for seven days. For every awareness, funding, and following. view. The shows we grew up with History Channel all the time, kudos to missing out? Would you rather watch product sold they give that week's non- Awareness (26% of the prob- Some of Sevenly's past chari- have been replaced with stupid shows you. You are clearly more resilient than Tosh.0 or Hey Arnold? I think it's time profit organization $7. For example, if lem), was an issue because many ties include, the National Breast Can- where everyone dances and sings. If the rest of us if you are able to continu- to wish Zach and Cody good luck in they sold 1,000 products, Sevenly charities struggle to reach the eyes and cer Foundation, Laura's House, Autism someone wanted to see that they would ously subject yourself to that mind- college, congratulate Andy on growing watch American Idol or So You Think numbing torture. However, most of us up, let Hannah live her life, and hope would donate $7,000. ears of potential supporters. It's not Speaks, To Write Love On Her Arms, You Can Dance. Disney Channel has prefer to to enjoy our TV time. So, we that Phil made it back okay. Each week Sevenly's team of that they have an unworthy cause, it's and My Refugee House. changed significantly and the change has watch shows that entertain us, but how elite artists designs new artwork for just that not many people even know been for the worst. But, honestly, there has our definition of entertainment the weekly products. The art symbol- that they exist. is really no point in discussing this. changed from when we were kids? 5 6 Life. There isn't an app for that: reStart gamer rehab clinic

By Caelin Young their drug of choice" said reStart psy- ReStart subscribes to a 12- Redbird Writer chotherapist Hilarie Cash. step program, similar to drug and al- Consider this cohol abuse and schools residents According to reStart's Web site, cur- an Internet intervention. The first U.S. with a series of social skills work- rent research suggests anywhere from retreat for Internet addicts opened its shops to reenter the real world. The 6% to 10% of the online population is doors in Washington in 2009, admit- typical gamer is somebody who has dependent upon one or more aspects ting a 19-year-old online video game fallen way behind in social skills and of cyber technology and the Internet - junkie obsessed with World of War- lacks confidence. Besides teaching with multi-user gamers like World of craft. The company is doing pretty conversation skills and how to read Warcraft among the most addictive well to this day. body language, reStart says that platforms. The reStart Internet Addiction Recov- videogame addicts also typically need ery Program tears gamers and Web Compulsive gamers, texters to be reprogrammed to be conscien- junkies away from cyberspace and and Web browsers trade instant mes- tious about everyday habits such as reconnects them to the land of the liv- saging and conquering fictional galax- bathing, cooking and household ing. It is about helping people ad- ies for bottle-feeding baby goats and chores - not to mention dating. building chicken coops on the five- dicted to technology get through the The program's first patient Student Gamertags/PSN accounts acre Heavensfield Retreat Center. The withdrawal and help their brains get seemed to do well. He discovered a live-in retreat is not cheap. The 45- wired back to normal and connected love for animals while caring for a day digital detox costs $14,500, plus to the world in a positive way puppy, baby goats and chickens. He is By Caelin Young Gaming is Tj Truax (Xbox) – Typicalterrence cash for daily expenses like renting Redbird Writer also finding himself very successful at an all (PS3) – Typicalterrence3 "A gamer is not going to be camping gear for wilderness adven- with the young women he encounters. time high allowed to game any time they are tures. here because it is the gaming that is these days, and many people at Aj Lepp (Xbox) – Dr Taco10 this school and others are in- volved. Each person may play Kurtis Glasner (Xbox) – LithDaddy Winter sports preview part 2 a different type of game, but most of us are connected in Colton Young (PS3) – Gheezer Meister By Coleman Quay competition at the end of the year. lives. With a competitive spirit, hard some way. Whether over Xbox Redbird Writer They are definitely fun to work, and determination the Live or Playstation Network, we can all find each Ty Young (Xbox) – Tbone6113

watch and provide great entertainment. team possesses it is sure to be another other somehow. With that being said, here are some of exciting year. the Gamertags and PSN accounts of some of your fel- Connor Applegate (Xbox) – FARTNATE Drill Team Wrestling Head coach: Haley Barnett Head Coach: Chris Peretti Swimming low LHS students: The swim team will be operating a Coleman Quay (Xbox) – The ColeMander Mike Henderson (Xbox) – KingSniper111 Returning Letterman: Sierra Last years record: 7-1 in dual little different this year. As they only Sage, Sydney Spots, Krista Matteson, meets, 5-1 in the league have one swimmer, Vanessa Caelin Young (Xbox) – YoungsFrchToast Jeremy Biddinger (Xbox) – Lykittysplit Brenna Lifer, Jessica James Returning Letterman: Colton Byers. She still goes and competes and Who's New: Baylie VanHorn, Ullman, Tim Stanger, Josh Weber, represents Loudonville, she just hap- (PS3) – Dragoon322 Tanner Macaulay (PS3) - tdnation1 Tori Harris, Rai Stencil, Allison Schie, Tristan Bender, Blake Carey, Ryan pens to be the only swimmer so Olivia Lane, Morgan Scarberry, Weber, Austin Carey she must swim by herself against Ruthanne Bandy, Sierra Burkhalter, Who's New: Aj Beran, Max schools with a full team. She practices Erica Rylas, Bekka Leitenberger, Sin- Butler, Clay Disbennett, Jake Kline, with Wooster High School's clair Spots Cody Dellenbach swim team. Technically her coach is Goals: Minimize mistakes, Goals: Win conference,as a Dave Patterson, while her work- have a fun season, no drama, everyone team place top two at sectionals, top out coach is Chris Matthews. Her mom to do the splits and heel stretch. five districts, and top ten in the state acts as her manager and takes her to If you have been to a home After winning the MBC and meets. Vanessa has high aspirations boys basketball game then you have sending two wrestlers to state, the for herself and wants to break the probably experienced the famed wrestling team is preparing for yet school record in the 50 freestyle drill team performing their halftime another prolific year. Although they and the 100 breast stroke, she dances. They will only be having eight may be young, Peretti assures that they also wants to get to districts. performances this year so be sure to make up for it in experience, many of catch one when you can, along with a them have been wrestling their whole