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o learn more about whether you may be eligible to participate in this study, lease contact: r. James Bromley hone: 210-732-5100 In addition to being an incredibly successful artist, Annie is a celebrated activist and humanitarian. The new album features the soaring and powerful feminist anthem 'Sing' , born out of Annie's involve- ment with Nelson Mandela's 46664 and Treatment Action Campaign (TAC) - organizations fighting for human rights, education and health care for those affected br the HIVAIDSvirus. The track 'Sing' fea- tures 23 0 the most recognized and successful fe- male solo artists In the world, Invited by Annie, to raise awareness and finances for TACinitiatives. In- cluded among the group are superstars such as Ma- donna, Sarah McLachlan, Celine Dion, i:>y J''WWo.'f \<.... 'S:Wi\~ Fergie, Faith Hill, Pink, emall Jimmy at: [email protected] Dido, Gladys Knight, kd Lang, An- geUque KI- djo, Bonnie Inthe wordS of MS.18uper, hersen: The True Colors Tour was conceived from my desire to give back to the com- Raitt, sna- munity for the love and support you have given me throughout my career. Through a joint program with the kira, MeUssa -the nation's largest organization working for equality for all - as well as PFLAGand Etheridge, The Matthew Shepard Foundation, the True Colors Tour will bring together Americans across the country to Anastasia, voice their sOlidarity against discrimination and for equality and raise public awareness about the issuesfac- Joss Stone, i n g the gay, lesbian, bisexual and community. One dollar of every ticket and CD sold will KT Tunstall benefit the work of the Human Rights Campaign. True Colors is a celebration of the basic and many values and freedoms that should be shared by all Americans. Asan American I was raised others, as to believe that all people have the right to live with the same dignity, opportunity well as TAC and safety. This should include everyone no matter what gender or sexual orienta- activist members own vocal group known as 'The J":Ii tion. This tour was created to celebrate our differences by raising awareness for Genetics', whose CD of music inspired Annie to Hear Jimmv live ~ liberty, fairness and dignity for everyone - not just some of us. make 'Sing' a reality. weeklv at 's The True Colors Tour CD is already available for download and August 7th October can't come quick enoughl And that's mu- will find the CD on the shelves of your local retailer. In all there are 10 stc...Thls Week In fexas. l.lII !'!;j tracks from the likes of , plus , Erasure, Rufus South Beach Wainwright, The Gossip, , and more. AU of the songsused on the soundtrack were selected and submitted by the artists and their management. Some of the songs are from up- coming, current or rare artist releases. The exceptions being Cyndi Lauper's "True Colors (Morel's Pink Noise Mix)" and Erasure feat: Cyndi Lauper "Early Bird (OJ Manolo's True Colors Mix)". Both of these songswere recorded and remixed specifically for inclusion on this release and so that fans could have something special, collect- ible and exclusive. Good music for a good cause•••got out and get yoursl Hot off the press: Multi-million selling, iconic artist Annie Lennox will release her fourth solo album, "SongsOf MassDestruction," on October 2nd, 2007 through Arista Records. The album was recorded in London, LosAngeles and with vet- eran producer Glen Ballard (of Alanis Morissette's 'Jagged Little Pill' fame). In a career that has spanned over 25 years, Including the 15 years since Annie re- leased her first solo album, Diva, no other British female artist hasachieved so much recognition. Over 78 million in global sales, and 33 hit singles compliment the 4 Grammies, 11 BRITS,5 Ivor Novellos, the Oscar, and the 2 Golden Globes amongst other accolades. "Songs Of Mass Destruction" showcases an artist who is unafraid of pushing boundaries and challenging herself. Annie delivers thought provoking and intelligent lyrics matched with her distinctive pop sound. She say: that this album is the closest she s been so far to that authentically raw and emotional place, infused with the contrasts of beauty, yearning and sadness. The result, from the haunting introductory song, 'Dark Road' to the closing epic, 'Fingennail Moon', is a sumptu- ous musical soundscape within which Annie's soulful voice shines and soars. c/:) c:L., ~ ~ ----. ---. l1..1 -1 L.L.., -~cJ:) ---. L.L.., ~ ~ ) 1..l..1 1::",-, '"2L) ~'-c.-, ...:=--: 'c-) ~ 1.-.---.l..1 -=::--: ~ -=::--: ---. ---. 1..1..1 ~ '--I ..----..::::-. r : 1..l..1 ---. :t'il 1..1..1 f : ~ ---. 12) ---. -) =1 '<.-") ;~---; L.1.., 'C-J --..:: ----.c?:) ----,--=! ~Z) 1'--1 ::::::-, 'L) :.rc..•..·arundi ••••• ~. know •..the one where, after being Invited out to the Johnson Ranch to dine on cucumber sandwiches and sip on mint julep tea, you were escorted to the Johnson 100 so that you could see Johnson's Johnson - supposedly, the very first SCUD mis- sile. Please share the moment with Scorpio us.... you know you want tol Kyle Dumont in Austin The Fifth Avenue Dumonts Dear Diva: Rising Dear Name Dropper: I love reading your column. The one week I did- n't get a copy, I high-tailed it right over to First of all, I just have to share with you how very I!ustlns Sasha Andrews' house and stole her copy just much I detest people that feel compelled to add hon- to read the Diva section. Lets face it, Sasha cant orifics and social qualifiers to their names in a rather ])a.nCe Band read any way. In one of your latest QU's transparent attempt to add prominence to themselves someone asked you what it was called when or their positions. Why the hell couldn't you just say your boyfriend wants you to fart in his mouth. I Kyle Dumont in Austin? Why add ''The Fifth Avenue loved your response and, as I read, I was sure Dumonts?" Isn't Kyle Dumont in Austin good enough as sugar that you were gonna mention Fart to make a mark on the world without having to sup- Knocker. To my surprise it was not mentioned, plement his qualifications with a long-departed-from and to this day I don't know what a Fart address in Manhattan? Or, were you merely trying to Knocker is - and what's worse, in high school impress with your social standing by providing a com- this bully used to call me a Fart Knocker. Please pletely unveiled reference to your pedigree? I know define Miss Diva Divine. your mother very well, Kyle, and she would be appalled at your nouveau riche posturing. You come San Antonio Blabber Face from very, very old money, and old money does noth- ing to draw attention to themselves - you don't have Dear Butt Boy: to, after all, because you're all richer than God. It's only those with newly-acquired wealth that feel it For years, this pejorative stood for those that took it incumbent upon themselves to tell the world just how up the ass...had bum sex....took a ride down the magnificent they are. But, as usual, I digress. The Hershey highway. In other words, a gay person of the incident of which you speak actually took place in homosexual persuasion. But, so many ten year-old Washington, DC, way back in the waning days of LBJ's boys used it so often on those people, like yourself, presidency, though similar occurrences took place on NOLI! -lnS?'t-ed that they were trying to bully, that it lost much of its numerous occasions throughout Lyndon's public and original intent and merely became a random diss that private life. The old saying, "Everything's bigger in R'oc,f means absolutely nothing. Alternative meanings for Texas" was probably coined specifically with President the term include a trained doctor who knocks the farts Johnson's most senior cabinet member in mind, for right out of you, a person/thing who knocks the farts there has probably never been a cock of such magnif- out of you with a quick blow to the stomach, a dum- icent proportions in recorded history. How Lady Bird bass who thinks he's cool but he's trlp'n, a person that managed all that is beyond me, but that's not the is so lame they do not appreciate a good fart. They point of the story. Lyndon just adored impressing 'knock' or 'put down' the idea of farting and enjoying unsuspecting politicos and civilians alike with his most it; which makes them a total loser, and, finally, some- generous of gifts, and it became a rather standing one who farts so hard that they knock things over. practical joke on the First Lady's part to share a bit of The only thing that anyone seems completely certain that substance with those she felt particularly close to. about is that it does have something to do with the So, whilst visiting the White House with ma mere and anal cavity - whether literally or figuratively - and that Mrs. Kennedy shortly before she left for Greece to it doesn't denote the brightest bulb in the chandelier, become Mrs. Onassis, I was taken by the hand by Mrs. nor the brightest Crayola in the box. So, it's safe to Johnson to the water closet just off the Qval Office say that that bully that tormented you in high school and and told to make water before returning to moth- was not attempting to woo you with kind words. er. Thinking it improper to suggest otherwise, I nod- ded my head in agreement and was ushered into the Dear Diva: bathroom to find the leader of the free world with his pants at his ankles and what could only be described I know from the circles that I run in in Austin as an Anaconda hanging from below his shirt-tails. that you and Lady Bird Johnson were kindred Talk about your ICBM's. And that was how the Diva spirits and that her passing was a great loss for became a life-long Democrat, and a devoted. fan of you. I thought It might be fun for you to relate the Johnson family.

me, and I movedto LosAngelesat the ageof 18to started testing new ideas to accomplish what pursuemy designpassion. they neededand the end result was the "ShowIt" strap. Did you always want to be a designer? I did not know I wanted to be a designer un- When I first saw the strap I thought it would tH around the age of 15. That's about the time I hurt. Surprisingly, however, it's remarkably started goingout in the undergroundhousescene. comfortable! I started by makingmy own outfits for eachevent. It took a lot of trial and error before I decided on It wasat one of these undergroundclubswhere my the final design.Comfort andeaseof usewere two fashion career actually started. I was approached things that I would not compromiseon in the de- and complimented on a shirt I was wearing. The sign. personadmiring my creation wasactually the own- er of a local boutique. That is when I started pro- Is it accurate to compare Andrew Christian's ducing garmentsto sell in his store. I was amazed "Show It" technology to the Wonder Bra? that I could make money from doing something I Yes, most definitely. Similar to the Wonder Bra, truly loved. ShowIt givesthe wearer a bit more confidence. Were you a sewing whiz in How are straight men responding to "Show It" your 8th grade home eco- technology? nomics class? Straight men are a bit put off by it at first, but I actually have never taken after they try it and realize it's not going to hurt, a homeeconomicsclass.My they havebeen embracingit as much as gay men. tia (aunt) Isabeltaught me It really doesmakea remarkabledifference. how to sew in her kitchen when I was 15. I took to it Doyou have anything to help men with deficien- almost immediately like I des in the "rear" area? had beendoing it my entire That is funny you asked, we are actually working life. ona concept foraJldri!~IIItite.tery problem Growing up in a Latin I love your low v-neck shirts. American family, was it ~ Is there a reason the cut is tough be a kid who liked to so low? sew? How did your father I created the low cut v-necks respond? to show a little more skin. My family was amazingly Let's face it, more skin is supportive and non-jud~- sexy. It's just a matter of mental. In truth, I don t where you want to reveal it. think we are your typical Latin American family. We What is your ultimate mis- LA Designer Andrew Christian Unveils His New Swim Line havea designer,a clown, a sion in designing men's By Jorge Treviano mortician, a tattoo artist, clothing? and a kick boxer. My missionis to create items LosAngelesbaseddesignerAndrew Christian, has Isthere a hot color this year? that are fun, sexy, been designingand producing his own contempo- Gold is the new hot color we are previewing this Wow! There are several and most importantly, rary collections of urban inspired menswearsince season. It evokesa sporty retro feel. reality show plot possibili- J.IU.?\M' comfortable to wear. 1997_ ties in your family. a The way I seeit, if the He's made a big splashwith his unique underwear What inspires you in your creations? Yes,we're quite an eccen- clothes are not com- and swimwear,edgy tees and shorts, and youthful Life inspires me. When preparing to design new tric and eclectic group. fortable and easy to accessories.However,it is his new Show-It Tech- clothes, I never really know where I am going to wear, what's the point? nology"" speciallydesignedunderwearcontaining draw inspiration from; it could be the colors in a How did you make your Thesecreations are not a strap inside that lifts and accentuates a man's painting, the form and shape of a building. I get dream a reality? madeto sit in the back prized possessions that hasreally put the Andrew inspiration while working out at the gym, laying in It took a lot of determination, hard work, and of a closet, but to be Christiandesignhouseon the map. bed, or even while taking a shower. I just never never losingsite of my goal. Evenwhen faced worn. Now, Christian is unveiling his new creations for know when the inspiration for my next creation is with what seemed,at the time, daunting ob- summer07. We sat down with him to get a pre- goingto hit me. stacles. • • Doyou only wear your view of what all the boyswill be sporting at the own clothes? beachthis year. What has been your most unusual creation? Isdesigningclothes as glamorous as it seems? Pretty much, yes. I actually wear most of the Without a doubt, my most memorablyunusualcre- Anyonewho is in the fashion businessknowsit is items before we release them. I have to see how ation wasmy line of medicalmasks.Wemadethem pnything but glamorous. Glamour is just the end they perform in the real world. And what better Swimsuit seasonis finally here. What's new for in a slew of colorsfrom black, blue, red, and khaki result, but there is a lot of hardwork that goesinto way to find out but to wear them? the season? - so they could matchJour outfit. They actually the makingof what the public finally sees. We have added lots of new colors, from bold and sold extremely well an were used in many bou- Are your friends always askingfor free clothes? vibrant like royal and gold to earth tones like ol- tique window displays.I haveeven heardof people It must be exhausting to have to be creative all Forthe mostpart no, mostof them knowthe value ive and brown. This summeris all about express- usingthem on airline flights. the time! of my product. ing your individuality. We're introducing lots of Actually, the creativity part is not exhausting at fun graphicstoo. In particular, we are enjoying Designer medical masks? Genius! Did you send all. Quite the opposite, my creativity excites me How do you know If someone likes you or just a strong responsefrom our new line of Gothic In- one to Michael Jackson? and givesme energy.It pushesme forward to cre- likes your fantastic clothes? spiredbathing suits. We're bringingedgeto beach- Wesent a bunchto the whole Jacksonfamily. Who ate more and more. It's the businessside that is I can tell. It's like a sixth sense,you just know. es and poolseverywhere. knows? Maybethe next time they're in the news, taxing. Travelingto vendors and maintaining the we'll seethem sporting our masks! books. What do men look for in suits? Styleis definitely important but comfort andfit are Where did you grow up? Your most popular creation hasbeen your "Show The Andrew Christian line of active alsokeyin men'sbathing suits.The trunks not only I grew up in a Clovis, California. It's a small town It" technology. What inspired you to create it? wear is available at retailers nation- have to look goodon, they have to be something in central California directly half way between Los It wassomethingthat my clientele was lookingfor. wide and online at the manfeels comfortable and confident in. Angelesand SanFrancisco.It was a great place to I was always hearing from men that they wished www.andrewchristian.com. grow up as a child, but it was definitely conserva- they had something to enhance their assets. I tive. I knewat a youngageit wasnot the place for

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lfPER EeI_ & BAR S(lITH .mND,T P.o. Box 2309 120 E. Atol Street gaypadre@up~rdeckhotel. com I ------www.up~erdeckhotel.com 956-761-5953 were told that the impressionistic diva is home packing twO gore guys, all of Cowtown TEA for her upcoming tours of the Mediterranean and our satyric needs are We've heard nothing - nothing, do you hear - but good Alaska, courtesy of RSVPCruises. We wonder if she's taken care of...in addi- things about the added Shelley Winters to her repertoire....oh, that was tion to our need for just too cute... shows that the copiouS amounts of Imperial Court de refreshing adult bever- Ft. Worth puts on While we're on the ages which, as we all subject of cute, around our fair know, is legendary. Of city, and it's no there's a new (at course, those copious least to us) potent wonder consider- \lIW amounts of refreshing ing the fact that potable pourer over adult beverages may at Bill's that is mak- our flawless and be clouding our judge- inspired Emperor, ing Friday happy ment, and our affairs hours even more gay Janie Stanton, is are really with two always one of the TEXAS If A than they were Domino's delivery driv- headliners for any before. His name is ers named Claude and Jimmy, and he's cre- of the reviews. Big "0" TEA Elmo,but our thoughts We caught up We've always felt that Dallas was a clique-ish sort of ated such a sensation are always on Brian at the club (at least with Janie getting place, with les girls in one corner, the leather boys in and Lee...which is pretty much the same thing as being cozy with Dorval another and the preps and cowboys occupying the for us) that the mass- with them. es are crowding the at Best Friends after the court's recent in-town show other two corners of the square. Ya know....no min- and are pleased as pumps to report that Ms. Stanton is gling allowed. So, when we ran into Alexandre's owner ivory palace just to Finally, the Round-up recently played host to an be near his beauty - not only as lovely as ever, but also knows how to help Lee doing some mingling with at rather dee-lish dude evening of pomp, circumstance and pageantry unri- a crowd have a really good time. We just adore Janie, which certainly doesn't hurt the Z tape on the register, valed anywhere in the Metroplex as the Miss Texas FFI by the name of Stevie over at Woody's the other day, and wish that she could reign supreme forever.... we immediately realized that some of our longest-held now does it? We've now decided that Friday afternoons and MissTexasat Large FFI pageants brought out more at the Hideaway are THE place to be, and expect each bugle beads and sequins than a yard sale at Bob Something we don't want to last forever is the sight of and every one of you to be there to watch us make a Mackie's. From a whopping field of seventeen - yes, fool out of ourselves over Jimmy....we're expecting a certain someone that we spotted on the patio at the drooling, mindless babbling and bodily functions that Stampede who, apparently, was incapable of waiting we can't describe in print....ahem. even one moment before trying on his And while we're on the subject of bodily functions, we new Gaymart pur- broke out into a huge spray of crocodile tears when we chase. Now don't get espied the new bar inside Mickey's. Gurrrlllls, it's Sim- us wrong, honeys, we ply too-too-trendy, and made us feel as if we were in love the sight of beefy men in harness/thong combos as much as the next person, but we've always believed that the patio isn't beliefs may not have been completely accurate. necessarily the place Lee...at Woody's? What's next? Whitney Paige and on which to model Spanke setting up house together? John Michael them. Now, our bed- Gordon and Kathy Jack becoming foster parents? Dogs room is another story and cats, living together? Wait, the room is altogether. Hell, if all that was Iyin' up in our bed, we'd spinning...but that's only becauseStevie and Lee are so be singin' a different tune completely....something like, damned cute... Ah, sweet mystery of life at last I've found you.....But, for those of you that like such obvious effects, we sug- With Alexandre's on the brain, we offer to you a Cruise gest you drop by the club and the erotique around Camera photo of David, Ron and Chip that we snapped happy hour, when the cheap beer is sure to get you and one of the great and gay foreign capitals of the world, yours everytime.... like Milan or Prague or even Hoboken, New Jersey. Throw a hunky hombre behind the counter and a futon Capital CiTEA against the wall and we're movin' in, babies.... With all If you've ever wondered just who it is that creates the of this expansion and addition going on, we can't help stunningly sensual artwork that graces the walls of but wondering if perchance the Black-Eyed Pea is in Oilcan Harry's, then wonder no more because Capital danger of losing it's space. Why, all Mick has to do is honeys, seventeen - contestan~: thejudge~ unani- knock down that wall and he can add a designer dance mously selected the divinely beautiful and supremely floor for all of his award-winning OJ'sto spin in. Okay, talented Layla Larue as MissTexas FFI, and the hugely we can spin in it, too....but that's a whole 'nother story. gifted and enormously creative Kelexis Davenport as MissTexas at Large FFI. Special guests included Miss We've decided - just as Eric and Greg have done - that TexasFA Emeritus Sweet Savage and last year's win- we wanna be a Pekertoo, so we're spending even more ners,Allysa Edwards and Whitney Paige, and the high- recently at the melodic men's room. The thrilling trio time over at the Oak Lawn libation lounge than we can lY-qualifiedjudges table included none other than for- was on hand to witness the behind-the-bar antics of the safely admit. Part of the reason for that is that we've mer MissGay USofA,former MissGay National and for- one and only rowdy Robert, who makes every elbow- begun affairs with both Brian and Lee, the two hot and ":ler MissGay Black America, Tommie Ross. Extra spe- bending experience at the club something to remember. tasty suds dispensers that make the view from ~lal congratulations to both Layla and Kelexis from Big We had stopped by to visit with Mark Alan Smith, but Domino's such a thrilling experience. Thanks to these TEA!And that is one more crown, babies.... CiTEAwas on hand recently for the installation of a new friend and the Diva's number one fan! Yes, sweeties, Saint and San Antonio home. Jade De Sante has done series of pleasing paintings by none other than Austin the caliente cutle was just sitting there on the patio pin- such an amazing job as the state title-holder that we favorite and dude about town, Dameon, whose snappy ing over the Queen of All Advice columns when we here at Alamo CiTEA will burst into a huge spray of attire is almost as fagulous as his creations. Gore Glen snuck up on him and goosed him right where the Lady tears when she relinquishes her bejeweled headdress made himself available to help with the installation and, D instructed us to. No telling what she'd have to say at the Round-up Saloon in September. But trumormon- to be perfectly honest, it was almost as intoxicating about his reaction, which was quite pleasant we assure gers are mongering that La Jade will not be without a watching him hang the beauties as it was viewing them. you. snappy chapeau for long, as she already has her sights Personally, we'd just love to get Glen on a canvas Speaking of pleasant, set on some equally impressive headgear. And may babies...or even on the cot in the back room. There'd that's exactly what God bless the USA.... You can see Ms. De Sante on be a whole lotta finger painting going on, let us tell we've always found the Sunday, July 29 when she presents the MissAlamo City you....See, we've got cultural tendencies, too! experience to be when- America pageant...only at the Saint! ever we drop in to visit ~'l. __ " _"'" , _ Ricardo over at the x- Speaking of tendencies, we've got one to spend an finally, co-ed Kindell over at CP was kind enough to Space CiTEA inordinate amount of time on the lookout for dream ing. Tall, dark and too- introduce us to the fagulous fred of Fotos by Fred when So many people have asked us lately how they can date David Green and his buff beau Mac whenever we too-handsome, the hir- we were at the club the other night, and we are pleased become SoBecircuit studs that we thought it incumbent pop into Charlie's, as faithful readers of this column sute hunk follows the to report that the impromptu meeting has resulted in an upon us to go directly to the powers-that-be at the club have surely figured out by now. Well recently, during lead of Cody and the agreement between the lascivious lensman and This rest of the studly staff for a few pointers, as it were. The club's studly and Week in Texas to begin featuring his work on our cov- in possessingan affinity ers. Yes, honeys, all those gorgeous Austin men that for Stetsons and ropers love to walk around town with practically nothing on will - all in the extra-large soon be revealing all their glory in the glossy pages of size, just soze ya know. TWT. We were joined in our tete-a-tete by a chatty Ricardo's are so large, chap from Argentina, whose name we have regrettably in fact, that we need two of everything just to be able misplaced in all the excitement that Fred generated. to handle them. Get Cody and Ricardo together, hon- That's not to say we don't have his phone eys, and we gonna eat tonight ....big time. number...ahem. We have a particular liking for the surfer look, and one AlamoCiTEA of Our Town's residents that perfectly embodies that Proving positively that she is the Essenceof Filthiness, SoCaIexperience is the tasty and tempting Michael, the one and only Autumn Summers Eve was spotted at whom we caught up with at Heat the other night with the club recently getting. r;lr=1".4.00 his best bud, Tim. Though not sporting the board more-than-a-bit cozy r~I""---·"""~",,..,· newly-bronzed and just returned from PV GM, one of our D&M search and spots, we happened to run with a certain penile pro- Jose, hesitated at into David with a certain handsome and humpy hunk by jectionist of note whose first ...since, after all, the name of Tino who, for those not in the loop, hap- street smarts are so you're either born with pens to have more than a passing interest in the famed apparent that they are "it" or you're not...but Lavaca libation lounge. To say that we were suitably tattooed on various then relented and prof- impressed by the comely cutie would be more than an parts of his anatomy. fered the following tips understatement, and we now find that we've got yet Autumn, as we're sure to elevate oneself into another reason to make the party palace our home you all know, headlines the upper echelons of away from home. We're picturing Tino and David and the club's Friday Follies, clubland society. First Max in a new film epic, doncha know.... and does double duty as torso taster for all new and foremost - pecs, honey. Perfect, perky, And while we're on the subject of comely cuties, who danceurs de dique at the pendulous, peerless, knew that Rain's Dave Santana was such a sexy stud? club. That's not to say pedigreed and per- Who? Well, we didn't until we happened to spend a that there isn't a strin- rather delightful evening with the dapper dude recent- gent review process ••.•.•.•...•.••.•.••••••.,..... :81 inherent in providing the patrons of the place for every- shorts and flips that we so like on a man, Michael one with the freshest of meat, it's merely that Autumn's nonethelessbrought back fond memories of our time in cruisy criteria is the only one that we can commit to Santa Monica, and made us long for the days when chance perspiring pecs, print. Bob Fogg's review of the packages is much more catching a big wave did- as illustrated by our detailed...ahem. n't have anything to do manly models Kohl, 0 with being splashed by a and Marc. Next, buffed So we're down at the puddle along the Main and beautiful biceps Bonham Exchange Avenue Strip. Michael and the ability to prop- the other day, after was kind enough to use erly display them, as making one more us as a board that night, shown by our next man- last-ditch effort to and we've never been nequin, Steve (whose ., finally tour the Alamo ridden better by any- baby blues are certainly and realizing that we one...not even in WeHo! helpful, but not simply couldn't do it required, for admission into the pantheon of Iy, during which time we learned just how sexy he real- without a little pos- Finally,everyone needs a partiers.) Then, tats, ly is. Even perched between two massive men at the tive reinforcement home and a home bar, body-piercings and front door, Davejust outshines all the competition. Pity from the nearest and River City residents other anatomical art, tastefully applied and correctly the man is taken, 'cause otherwise we'd be tempted to liquor gun, and whO are blessedthat the cur- displayed, as the scintillating Sedrick reveals. Fourth, go for him ourselves. But, you certainly didn't hear that should we run into rently-reigning Miss Gay an incredible smile and the ability to wantonly display from us.... but our very dear Texas America calls the those pearly whites and other vital and appealing body parts, as the hot and maybe a refreshing dear friend Anne Marie hunky Jorge seems par- adult beverage would Gill, so when we found ticularly adept at. And clear our minds and out that she was gOing e, all or some of the stuff. Well, we looked to be at EJ's for one of above coupled with a up....and there was her rare and much practiced hand (ahem) Jose - complete with sought-after appear- in public displays of rocks AND a washboard ances, we cancelled affection, as Carlos and that looked powerful dinner with Hillary and Raul seem to have mas- enough to get those Bill and rescheduled our really greasy stains out. pedicures so that we Well, we took him right could be in attendance. home and got to NOW,Ms. Gill is nothing work.....got an A+ on if not a shrinking violet, the project, babies.... so all of the attention that was showered on hints, honeys. So, naturally we thought of Michelle her by fab fans like Jim We always thought that Phiefer and Jessie over at Viviana's, 'cause these glam really leave her feeling a the only people that went to the Ripcord were more gals wrote the book on face paint, doncha know. Of mature and beefy beaus that got off to leather and bit non-plussed. But, teredo Oh, and you sim- course, Jessie concentrates on the "don't let this hap- after a few light libations and several rounds of ply must have a short- M&M's and the like, so pen to you" aspects of coverage and contour, but we when we sashayed in Kumbaya and A Hundred Bottles of Beer on the Wall age of chemises in your figured that with the Lady P's expert advice and the there the other night she was ready to go, and the evening was - as usual - wardrobe, so that you knowledge that powder is essential we'd be just fine. If spectacular. Gaea, we've missed her.... can properly display trying to make a state- only Viv had been there.... your pees, biceps, tats ment we were com- Out in the Gay Southwest, and other vital organs. pletely taken by sur- We just adore happy we introduced you several Now, isn't that easy? prise by the appearance people, and it seems weeks ago to the caliente Not as easy as we are of a younger and trim- as if there's nothing cashier at Crystal, and with any of the dee-lish mer and cotton-clad fel- but a wellspring of shared with you how will- dudes that helped with this lesson, but you get the low who sported leather gayness over at ing he was to reveal his drift .... only on his enormous - George - the libation attributes to us for the and we do mean huge - lounge where happy price of a ten-spot. Well, Speaking of drifting, we did so into JR'sthe other night feet. We naturally doesn't just happen sweeties, we returned to in search of Kofi and Lanaand Marshaand the gals, and spent a great deal of during certain hours. the club with twenties in were instead confronted with the visages of two such time getting to know Proof positive of all hand, and soon realized devastating creatures by the name of Tammy Whynot the too-too-handsome the joy and levity that just how willing he was to and Samantha Saidso that we are actually starting to hombre better, and occurs in the Fairview go even further in his pub- soon realized just what fun house is illustrat- lic display of attraction a freak lies beneath that Banana RepublicT-shirt. Not ed in our Cruise when his hands went to that we mind freaks, of course....and we've spent the camera photo of Brett his belt loops and his eyes last several nights proving just how much we don't and Rocky, whose went right into our mind freaks....just soze ya know. smiles nearly blinded very....souls, yeah that's it. Our souls. It's not often us and certainly forced us to go immediately in search that we're able to find something so incredibly enticing We watched Bareback ... uh, Brokeback Mountain for the of whatever it was that makes them so bloody happy. and intoxicating outside of a bottle of Crystal, but we gazillionth time the other night, and needlessto say we And it wasn't even five o'clock... found it in him, honeys.... We happened upon a tag-team match-up at Tony's One of our favorite fellas is the irrepressible Edward, who we can always find between Marsha Mink cavorting and frolicking at and Chuck and Lillian Academia. The man Devereauxand Tony the believe that the prophecies about the end-times are all other night and got so true. Asked what on earth possessedthem to leave the with the Pearl Drops smile and the Oscar Meyer turned on by the sight house looking like that, they replied "Well, you left of Chuck's bulging YOUR house looking like THAT." Ten points for the package has a habit of everything that we snappy comeback, but that didn't mean that we still making us forget our trou- bles and get happy, and juiced the floor and didn't have to turn to Randall for a potent potable to made a complete mess cope....bitches.... the Latin libation lounge is a better place for his pres- of the ring. We threw ,ourselves prostrate on So, we're taking this history classat the University of St. were in the mood for a little cowboy cuddling, so off did ence. With Edward, we know that we don't have said floor before Chuck, Thomas, and it's all about what life was like during colo- we dash to the BRBto see if we could lasso ourselves begging for forgiveness nial times....ya know, back in the 20th Century. Well, it a little company for the evening. And there they to wait until Fridays - we can Throb seven nights a and a better view of his seemsthat people used to have to use rocks and wash- were....our ridin'-n-ropin' fantasy come true - macho bulges, at which point boards and stuff to beat their clothes on, instead of a mixologist David and the equally breathtaking Dallas, week. And that's a very gOodthing, indeed. Tony jumped on us and Maytag, 'cause they like didn't have electricity or any- just waitin' to ride off with us into the sunset and set up tried to turn us into a pretzel while Lillian tickled us with thing. Well, like, we had to spend an entire weekend housekeeping in a twenty-two room log cabin on the her boa. But that's okay, babies....'cause we saw not We're renewing our passports for a planned trip to Rio acting like we lived way back then...and the laundry Oregon Trail. We'll wash and clean and cook...and just only saw the bulges - we felt 'em. Who needs cable? was, like, piling up. So, we had to figure out where we think of all the boots we'll get to spit-polish! Why, it'll next year, and wanted to be sure that our new photos Wouldreflect the real us to all the government officials could find these rocks and washboards, which was like be heaven. Now if we can just convince D & D.... As we go to press, we hear of Houston Legend, Cookie that would be pawing our documents during our future soooo hard for us to figure out. So, we like went to the La Cooke's passing. She was loved and respected, we traVels. In other words, we needed some make-up Mining Company to have a drink - 'cause we figured It's been almost an eternity since we've seen our verY will miss her and send our thoughts to her family. 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620 Broadway Street San Antonio, TX 78215 210-220-1092