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THANKS, BUDDY: THE PERSONAL ASPECTS OF PUBLIC SEX SITES by MATTHEW C. BROWN B.A., Miami University, 1990 M.A., University of Cincinnati, 1995 A thesis submitted to the Faculty of the Graduate School of the University of Colorado in partial fulfillment Of the requirement for the degree of Doctor of Philosophy Department of Sociology 2003 This thesis entitled: Thanks, Buddy: The Personal Aspects of Public Sex Sites. written by Matthew C. Brown has been approved for the Department of Sociology Dr. Joyce Nielsen Dr. Nan Alamilla Boyd Dr. Leslie Irvine Dr. Eric Rofes Dr. Patti Adler Date ------- The final copy of this thesis has been examined by the signatories, and we find that both the content and the form meet acceptable presentation standards of scholarly work in the above-mentioned discipline. HRC protocol# 1199.01 iii Brown, Matthew C. (Ph.D., Sociology) Thanks, Buddy: The Personal Aspects of Public Sex Sites. Dissertation directed by Full Professor Joyce Nielsen Traditional models of public sex among men continue to construct public sex sites as anonymous and impersonal. Humphreys's (1970) work established public sex sites as settings for quick, emotionally detached sex among men. According to his findings, most of the men do not identify as gay or bisexual. Recently, social historians argue that these sites provided for gay and bisexual men settings that promoted the recognition of their emerging sexual identities and communities prior to the Stonewall Riots. In this dissertation, I problematize the anonymous and impersonal assumptions of the earlier models and argue that public sex sites continue to serve gay and bisexual men by allowing these men a place to congregate with others like themselves. In face-to-face interviews with 30 gay, queer, and bisexually identified men, I ask questions that explore the interpersonal relationships that originated in public sex sites. I explore the ways that men who use public sex sites establish an ethic of caring and create a sense of community among one another. In my methods chapter, I continue the discussion addressing the role that sexual identity and "erotic subjectivity" of the researcher functions in research. Also, I address how relying on institutional review board's approval affects sexually charged research and maintains the silence surrounding sexuality. ' This dissertation is dedicated to the memory of Dr. Sherry L. Corbett because she changed my life and I miss her. V ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I am indebted to many people who helped me with this project including friends, colleagues, "anonymous tricks," and the men interviewed. First, I wish to thank my committee members. Dr. Joyce Nielsen chaired my committee and intelligently criticized my words and thoughts. Dr. Patti Adler provided her keen ability to understand the fundamentals of structuring a qualitative manuscript and her enthusiasm for my research. Dr. Leslie Irvine was always willing to give me a minute of her time and encouraged me to keep writing. Dr. Eric Rofes expertise in the field ensured the relevance ofmy project. He has provided an example of how to be a scholar and an activist. I wholeheartedly believe that this manuscript would not have been completed without the emotional and intellectual support of Dr. Nan Boyd. I can not thank her enough for all the time she has spent with me. Next, I want to thank my friends who inspired me. Rawson Collins, whose unbelievable support of my work still humbles me. I miss you my dear friend. Dick Rasner always knew that I would finish, even when I was not as confident. My teaching partner, Glenda Walden, made teaching fun and exciting and helped me forget about "the paper." Jill Williams and Keri Brandt provided an intimate space for my fears, anxieties, and successes. They made me smile and laugh at myself when I desperately needed to. They also read every chapter. Two members of my cohort provided tremendous amounts of love, laughter, and support that helped ease the stress of this project: Linda Ramos and Adina Nack. Other friends that encouraged, critiqued, distracted, and loved me were Seana Lowe, Evalie Homer, Carl Nash, Amy Leisenring, Tracy Crosby, Robyn Marschke, Michael Scarce, vi Salvador Vidal Ortiz, Mark Beyer, Melinda Nagai, Joshua Love, Mattie Savoie, Bryan Penny, Zac Ryon, Mike Abel, and Kelvin McNeill. Don Cook was always willing to take my phone call whenever I called. He is the best example of a best friend. Joe White provided the impetus for finishing this project and I will always be grateful. He sure is "some kind of good-lookin' ." I wish to thank my parents, Bob Brown and Rhoda Brown. Even as I travel, intellectually and geographically, farther away from that small farm in rural Ohio, their support and friendship never wavers. Finally, I am eternally grateful to the men who were interviewed. Their willingness to be part of my study will always be a testament to the caring and respect for each other that can emerge when gay and bisexual men come together to discuss their sexual adventures, concerns, desires, and hopes. The men trusted me to tell their stories. I hope they are proud of how I told their stories. I am humbled by their generosity and trust. ..... vii CONTENTS CHAPTER I. IN"TRODUCTION ............................................................ 1 LITERATURE REVIEW .................................................... 6 BREAKING NEW GROUND ............................................. 13 II. METHODOLOGY ........................................................... 17 QUALITATIVE METHODS AND FEMINISM ........................ 17 MEMBERSHIP ROLES ..................................................... 24 Researcher in Context. .............................................. 27 EVOLUTION OF RESEARCH DESIGN ................................. 34 Sampling Method ................................................... .37 Data Collection ................................................... .41 Data Analysis ...................................................... 45 METHODOLOGICAL CONCERNS ..................................... .47 SEXUALITY AND RESEARCH ........................................ 51 Ill. PERSONAL ASPECTS OF PUBLIC SEX ............................. 61 THEORIZIN"G PUBLIC SEX ............................................. 61 CHARACTERISTICS OF PUBLIC SEX ENVIRONMENTS ...... 64 Characteristics of Favorite PSEs ................................. 73 SOCIAL ASPECTS OF PUBLIC SEX .................................. 75 Talking With the Trick ............................................. 78 Talking During the Down Time .................................. 81 Meeting Friends .................................................... 82 viii CONCLUSION ................. ······· ......... ······ ........ .............. 89 IV. RELATIONSHIPS OF PUBLIC SEX .................................... 90 No Relationships .................................................... 95 Acquaintances ...................................................... 101 Friends and Lovers ................................................ 105 CONCLUSION ............................................................. 116 V. SHARING IS CARING ................................................... 118 MASCULINITIES .......................................................... 119 CARING ..................................................................... 122 PUBLIC SEX AND CARING .......................................... 123 No Caring ......................................................... 124 Ambiguity about Caring ......................................... 129 Caring ............................................................... 133 CONCLUSION ............................................................ 142 VI. "IMAGINED COMMUNITIES" AND PUBLIC SEX ............... 144 "IMAGINED COMMUNITIES" AND QUEER THEORY .......... 146 PUBLIC SEX AND COMMUNITY .................................... 151 No Community, Just Sex ........................................ 152 Uncertain Community ............................................ 155 Community ........................................................ 160 CONCLUSION ............................................................ 167 VII. CONCLUSION ............................................................ 169 MOVING FORWARD ................................................... 174 ix Men of Color. ..................................................... 175 "Third World" Sexualities ....................................... 176 Non-Gay Identified Men ......................................... 177 PUBLIC SEX AS ACTIVISM .......................................... 178 REFERENCES .............................................................................. 184 CHAPTERI INTRODUCTION:WHAT'S A NICE BOY LIKE YOU ... ? Every so often while visiting one of my favorite public sex settings, someone asks, "What's a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?" This question conjures up old stereotypes and fears about searching for sex with other men in public sex sites. I am a white, college-educated man who has the appearance and mannerisms of my middle-class education. While the man always asks the question in a humorous manner, we both understand what is implied about each one of us when he asks. As men in such a setting looking for other men, we become men without families, jobs, and friends; we are reduced to being only perverts. Gay and bisexual men have become accustomed to hearing constructions of male-male sexualities as pathological and dangerous (Epstein 1987; Terry 1995; Colter
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