University of Vermont ScholarWorks @ UVM Graduate College Dissertations and Theses Dissertations and Theses 2015 Helping Students Find Meaning While Finding My Own: A Scholarly Personal Narrative Navigating Single-Motherhood and a Career in Admissions Amber Rich University of Vermont Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.uvm.edu/graddis Part of the Higher Education Commons, and the Higher Education Administration Commons Recommended Citation Rich, Amber, "Helping Students Find Meaning While Finding My Own: A Scholarly Personal Narrative Navigating Single- Motherhood and a Career in Admissions" (2015). Graduate College Dissertations and Theses. 526. https://scholarworks.uvm.edu/graddis/526 This Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Dissertations and Theses at ScholarWorks @ UVM. It has been accepted for inclusion in Graduate College Dissertations and Theses by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks @ UVM. For more information, please contact [email protected]. HELPING STUDENTS FIND MEANING WHILE FINDING MY OWN: A SCHOLARLY PERSONAL NARRATIVE NAVIGATING SINGLE- MOTHERHOOD AND A CAREER IN ADMISSIONS A Dissertation Presented by Amber Rich to The Faculty of the Graduate College of The University of Vermont In Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Education Specializing in Educational Leadership and Policy Studies May, 2015 Defense Date: March 27, 2015 Dissertation Examination Committee: Robert J. Nash, Ed.D., Advisor Stuart Whitney, Ed.D., RN, CNS, Chairperson Beth Mintz, Ph.D. Deborah Hunter, Ph.D. Cynthia J. Forehand, Ph.D., Dean of the Graduate College ABSTRACT In this dissertation, I explore my role as an administrator in higher education admissions at a major university and as a working mother who faces many real world challenges. The grueling travel demands, lofty enrollment goals, campus and inter-office politics, as well as the weekend and late night hours required, made it extremely difficult to achieve a healthy work life balance in admissions while also raising a small child. Additionally, “admissions” is increasingly becoming the “hot seat” within institutions of higher education. Gone are the days of an almost tenure like quality to enrollment professionals. If an enrollment director or vice president does not meet his numbers, their position is gone. Through Scholarly Personal Narrative methodology, I seek to inquire into my experiences and to understand and focus on my resilience and spirituality and how I have come to harness this power in my work with students and their parents in one of the most anticipated and often dreaded parts of individuation— the college admissions process. I share how becoming a working (single) mother in this profession was especially challenging amidst the highest-ranking professional women where I worked, many of whom were not mothers. I could not find a role model at the top that had small children. In this process, I discovered that I could use my experience and education in a more family-friendly role—higher education consulting. ACKNOWLEDGMENTS I would be remiss if I did not say “thank you” to all those who have inspired, taught, mentored and encouraged me along the way. I must thank my mentor and advisor, Dr. Robert Nash for having created SPN, a genre which has enabled me to tell my story in the way that I wanted. His pep talks and breakfast meetings always made my day! I also appreciate the class space he created for others to share in this (spiritual) scholastic modality. I would also like to thank my committee members, Deb Hunter, Jennifer Prue, Robert Nash, Anthony Quintiliani, Beth Mintz and Stuart Whitney, who without their support, I would not be at this place. I would like to thank the women I met in the HERS Leadership Program at Wellesley College, especially Mary Warner. You motivated and inspired me to start, sustain and finish this dissertation. To my 2007 Ed.D. Cohort, and to my adopted cohort members that took me in after my maternity leave: I am forever grateful to you and to all of the other SPNers out there. To John O’Connell, Larry Bennett, SGA, Julia Vaughn, Claire Cafaro, Amanda Yonan, Melissa Paradee, Learie Nurse, Jenny Parent, Sha, Dave Marshall, Ian Mortimer, Josephine Churchill, the late Pat Conant, Sarah Andriano, former teachers who ignited my thirst for knowledge and wisdom and so many others of you who have in some way touched and shaped my life. I am thankful to my students and their families that allowed me to be a part of their college admissions process and for their gratitude. I would like to thank my parents, Deborah Vogt and Jackson Fisher, Deb Fisher, brothers and sister, aunts and grandmothers, Helen Fisher and Joanne Pickell for supporting, encouraging, and believing in me. I love you all! To my partner, Vincent Miller, for allowing me the time and support I needed to complete my degree. Love you, baby. ii DEDICATION I would like to dedicate this dissertation to my smart, beautiful, emotionally intelligent, gentle, kind, caring, adventuresome, curious, and wonderfully silly daughter, Emma Mae. When you were born and I got to know you, I felt as though I had known you my whole life. I could not have imagined a child I would have ever loved more than I love you. You give my life inordinate meaning and happiness and I am already more than proud of you and will continue to be proud of you throughout your life, whatever you choose to do. I will always be here for you, cheering you from the sidelines, ready to cuddle or snuggle your hurts, and talk with you about things in your life. I believe in you and am so lucky to call you my daughter. iii TABLE OF CONTENTS ACKNOWLEDGMENTS................................................................................................ ii DEDICATION ................................................................................................................. iii INTRODUCTION ............................................................................................................ 1 OVERVIEW OF MANUSCRIPT.............................................................................................. 3 GOALS................................................................................................................................. 5 CHAPTER ONE ............................................................................................................... 7 METHODOLOGY ................................................................................................................. 7 MY UPBRINGING .............................................................................................................. 14 BECOMING AN ADMISSIONS COUNSELOR........................................................................ 27 WOMEN AND LEADERSHIP ............................................................................................... 33 CHAPTER TWO ............................................................................................................ 40 WORK-LIFE BALANCE FOR MOTHERS............................................................................ 40 CHAPTER THREE....................................................................................................... 63 ADMISSIONS “COUNSELOR” ............................................................................................ 63 CHAPTER FOUR........................................................................................................... 88 LOSS AND RESILIENCE...................................................................................................... 88 CHAPTER FIVE .......................................................................................................... 107 ON CHANGE AND BUDDHISM ......................................................................................... 107 NOURISHING SELF-CARE ............................................................................................... 111 CHAPTER SIX ............................................................................................................. 116 NARRATIVE INTERPRETATION OF THE LITERATURE.................................................... 116 CHAPTER SEVEN....................................................................................................... 124 CONCLUSION .................................................................................................................. 124 NOW WHAT? .................................................................................................................. 127 END NOTES ................................................................................................................. 130 BIBLIOGRAPHY......................................................................................................... 138 iv INTRODUCTION Working in college admissions, (which I have done for the past eleven years), one has a keen vantage point into the lives of families with children who are about to enter into the independent phase of young adulthood, of parents about to experience an empty nest, of parents and their children about to make financial decisions that will have long- lasting effects. As a college admissions counselor, it is nearly impossible to separate your own experience in adolescence and higher education. All of our identities impact our work in admissions counseling. Some facets of my life had a positive effect on my role, such as making it possible for me to relate to students who, like me,