\The Three Musketeers Fall Flat on Their Faces My Life Makes You
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NOVEMBER 16. 1993 T 1-1 E O O O P My Life Makes You Examine Your Own Ngor. Mr. Ho teaches Bob to gain Tom Miley Retriever Editorial Staff entry into his heart and find joy in life, and thus keep himself alive long In my many years of movie-going, enough to watch the birth of his new- very few movies have ever made me born son. cry. Not since Untamed Heart have I While spending his last days on shed even a flickering of a tear. That earth, Bob decides to leave behind a is, until I saw My Life, the new movie video memorial for his son to remem- ©1993 Columbia Pictures Inc. © The Walt Disney Co. All Rights Reserved from Columbia Pictures. The film is ber him by. This retrospective into his Michael Keaton and Nicole Kidman ward off impending the heart-wrenching story of Bob life shows him that he doesn't even I No, it's not Young Guns, but Kiefer and Charlie ride once death and anxiously await new life in the heartwarming Jones (Michael Keaton), a father-to- know himself very well. His quest to lagain in Disney's misguided Three Musketeers. movie "My Life". be with cancer who struggles to stay find internal peace of mind leads him T H E B SK P alive long enough to see the birth of back to his hometown of Detroit. movie events of the season, you'll see it. But Keaton and Kidman don't his baby, and in the process, make While he's home, the conflict be- The acting in this movie is phe- make this movie alone. Everyone peace with himself. tween he and his father is brought out. nomenal! Both Michael Keaton and delivers a wonderful performance, \The Three Musketeers This movie. wow. This movie As a child, Bob never got a chance Nicole Kidman deserve Oscars for from Queen Latifah, playing the hos- left me speechless. Never has death to know his father because he was their stunning performances. pice nurse Theresa, to the boy on the been so realistically portrayed on the working all the time. The memories Through their honest portrayals of rollercoaster (no, I'm not telling you Fall Flat on Their Faces silver screen. of the resentment he felt towards his Bob and Gail, they invoke a sense of what that's about, you have to see the Bob Jones, masterfully portrayed dad lead Bob to wonder how his own realism that is not seen very often in movie). Classic Tale Flops on Big Screen by Keaton, is the president of a pub- child will feel about him. today's movies. When Bob feels a But enough about the acting. Now After attending his brother's wed- pang of pain from the cancer that's for the shameless plugging. Guys, The whole affair reminded me of the lic affairs company who has been di- Shannon Blankenship ding, he and his wife, Gail, return to eating away at him, you can feel it in don't go alone. Take a date. Girls, if Andromeda Strain. agnosed with kidney cancer and I Retriever Editorial Staff your own heart simply from watch- there's no special someone for you Anyway, the scent was so potent given only 3 or 4 months to live. Now their home in Los Angeles. Once ing Keaton's facial expressions. to see this film with, go with a group that I had to pull my shirt over my if that isn't sad enough, his wife, home, Gail gets closer and closer to There was excitement in the air.. Nicole Kidman plays the strong wife of friends. This is not a movie to be nose so as not to be overrun by the played by Nicole Kidman, is 4 delivery and Bob slips closer and . the smell of warm, unforgiving, but- standing by her ailing husband, but seen alone, unless you want to find fumes. My eyes, on the other hand, months pregnant. With only four closer to death. He wishes upon a star ter-laden popcorn, the slurp of cokes months to live and five months until near the final scenes of the movie, yourself crying on the shoulder of a went unprotected. I could have irri- that he'll stay alive until the birth of being drunk with relish, and some you see her breaking down and suc- total stranger. gated the entire Southwest with all the birth of his child, Bob grows des- his son. From there, the rest is for me funky people dressed in white stab- perate. He enlists the help of Mr. Ho, cumbing to the inevitable fact that her Trust me, you'll be hearing about the tears pouring out. to know and you to see. And if you bing each other with an over-grown a Chinese healer played by Haing S. husband is dying before her eyes. this one for years. But, at long last, the picture came don't want to miss one of the biggest hat-pin. We were all about to embark to life, and despite all obstacles, I on a grand adventure back in time — back to 17th Century France, where settled back to enjoy the flick. nr H E: s nr u 1 ED men sported Dorothy Hamill hairdos, As the movie rolled into the first and women wore dresses that pushed scene, I felt a dark cloud come over their bosoms almost over their heads the room. You know when you have A Home of Our Own Should Have Never Left the House (can Disney show that?) one of those feelings? It was the grim We were there for a singular pur- reaper, come to take me out of my Jon King Of course, I couldn't do that, be- movies like Missing In Action, he guided flick. Playing the eldest son, pose ~ to experience the theatrical movie nirvana. It just wasn't meant Retriever Staff Writer cause in my case, the director was ironically plays one of the best roles. he portrayed the only emotions that version of The Three Musketeers on to be. sitting three rows behind me. I at- The weak storyline follows the pre- came across as believable. He em- Tired of boring movies that never film. It was deep, man! The wonder, The movie began in a skanky dun- tended the Hamptons International dictable path of despair turning into bodied passion and pain, while striv- seem to end? Are you looking for a the magnificent wonder of it all. Need geon, where people were being tor- Film Festival, and this poor excuse happiness, turning back into despair, ing to act as the father figure for a good, solid flick with action, sus- I say more? tured (gross!), and there was an Evil for a movie was premiering on open- and finally evolving into sheer bliss. family that has little hope for happi- pense and a touch of drama? Just wait. guy who attempted to be funny, and ing night. I had to restrain myself Sounds like a winner, huh? ness. His acting was so real, that he Well then, whatever you do, don't First off, I have to make a confes- his slimy relative who looked dark from dumping a bag of popcorn over Weil, believe it or not, it gets worse. made the others look even worse than go see the new Cathy Bates movie A sion. I didn't really see the entire and scary, and spoke with a deep, Bill's head, and pinch myself when I The actors who play the majority of they were — kind of a weakness in movie as clearly as I would have gravely voice. Home of Our Own. Because to say felt the urge to shout, "Hey Tony, I Cathy Bates' children were picked the story line when you're searching liked. You see, there was this man Ring any bells with Costner fans? that its a good movie worth seeing is haven't seen anything this bad since off the countryside of Salt Lake, for realism. He and Bates should have sitting in front of me . no, that's The demise of The Three Muske- like telling your child to eat lots of Ishtar!" Utah, where the majority of the fired the other kids, and just com- not why! teers started with Chris O'Donnell, candy. It wouldn't be healthy, or The general plot of this failure is movie was filmed. And instead of pleted the movie on their own. The fact is, he was wearing an playing D'Artagnan ~ the cocky, stu- worth the time. the tale of a poor family who moves Bates bringing these young actors up For all of you who enjoy the act- ample amount of cheap cologne. It pid, loudmouthed Musketeer Directed by Tony Bill, A Home of into the country. They are forced to to her level, she spiraled downward ing of Cathy Bates, I urge you to wait smelled vaguely like a cologne I wannabe. Remember the guy we all Our Own combines emotion and fend for themselves, build their own to theirs. Essentially, it looked like a for her next film. This one will only bought my step-father a couple of thought had so much going for him drama, culminating in an extremely home, and scrape together anything good presentation of a student film, upset you, and fans shouldn't have years ago for Christmas called in Scent of A Woman? He was great, abrupt, and exceptionally predictable useful they can find.