PICTURES FROM NATIONAL NIGHT AND INTERNATIONAL BOAT TRIP

SATURDAY SUNDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

SATURDAY (AFTER TASTING ROMANIAN DEATH JUICE) Dr Love the English slang section) of madness, the like of which has course Scotland...sniff :-( Boat Trip never seen before - ever - trust me. I would put togeth- easa_lovedoctor@hotmail. er a list of all the nations making “new connections” and “Dr Love vs. alcohol”: It Yesterday morning, an hour or two late, the good ship alliances, but it would take forever, and would probably has increasingly become we had finished the carefully organised procedure of making com (don’t email me Zsofia pulled away from the ageing Kassa, revealing a sure everyone was on the boat, we sat down to a very decent though - read below) involve every possible combination of nations...except of obvious that I have a com- large amount of vomit on the side of our fine vessel, petitor in match-making in meal of Deer, that mysterious Hungarian Pasta, vegetables, and so while we waved and smiled, our previous activities some clear sea-weed. But this you already know, what may This area of Umbrella is no The International Love&Drink Night the chemical we know as were visible to the silly people who stayed in Budapest. alchohol, which has served not be so well known was the scandalous amount of queue- longer called the Lover We say “silly people” because they missed out on a re- skipping, reported on elsewhere in this edition of Umbrella. corner, since after recent In the night of the nights on Saturday, also known as the to create no fewer than ally quite beautiful trip up the Danube, revealing some every single relationship on events, the corner has ex- National evening, we had it all - sweet and sour, good and of the rather breathtaking landscape along this river. As the sun set, and night drew in, the boat became dark and panded into a whole fuck- bad, love and hate, strong and weak... Almost all the coun- these two boats. My total is Also fascinating was the transition from metropolis to a about 0, which leads me to quiet, moving effortlessly towards our temporary home. Just as ing room, with at least 50 tries tried their best this year – some only with drinks, some natural landscape, one which made many comment we glimpsed the city lights, the band “Just a Sec” started up corners (like something by with other activities involved. But most of the games were the inevitable decision that on the fact that it felt like we were somewhere in the I can no longer serve the (all architecture students) giving us a soundtrack moving from Zaha Hadid) with all the a bit alcoholic as well… So how many different have you mediterranean, cruising amongst remote islands. Jimi Hendrix to the Spice Girls - perhaps not the most logical associated problems and tried? EASA community in my role as Doctor of Love, so, I quit. progression of music, but it entertained a good number of the strange spaces (like some- Some of us sang, some were deep in thought, and ship. Personally I would rather have heard Liszt as we glided thing by Zaha Hadid). The We were very happy to find out that the Nicaraguans have Adieu and farewell dear some just slept, it was a nice, peaceful moment, and readers, may your love be into the elegantly lit city, and gently kissed our sister ship Kassa. national night witnessed an brought their own rum, which was reported to be one of all of a sudden the space we have grown accustomed Back to that boring view... unbelievable amount of the best in the world by their neighbor from Salvador. And true and fruitful. I leave you to felt quite different - interesting how our perceptions loving, so much so that the it probably is! with this one poetic thought change. The only small problem was the lack of food, good Doctor had to take a however, from our old friend which led to desperate measures in some cases, some Top 5 party tracks of EASA break, only to come back One of the worst tasting drinks, good by its effect though, William Shakespeare: EASAians snacking on meat left in the sun, and bread to a complete and utter is the Romanian cuca or palinka. It is death juice served danced upon by flies and those pesky, pesky wasps. We just love the iPod-based parties this year. Anyone higgle-dee piggle-dee (see by the now famous “doctor Palinka”… No more comments “Love is a smoke made However the usual spirit kept everything going, and the and anywhere can be a DJ, huh? So Marten (NL), one of – look at the faces of people who tried it… But you could with the fume of sighs. arrival to Visegradi Castle was greeted with relief and the iPoded guys, presented us Top 5 party tracks. We Fun English wash that away with the best ever Irish coffee. More whis- Being purged, a fire spar- curiosity. absolutely agree – “We are your Friends” is the best slang key than coffee, but cream makes it just perfect. And the kling in lovers’ eyes. Being for 6 a.m. dances. green from their flag does not wash off with cold water, vexed, a sea nourished We quickly split into two groups, one supposedly off to Just for fun, we so…yeah, green people around is fun. the castle, and the other to play international football. with lovers’ tears. What is 1. Justice VS Simian thought we would search it else? A madness most Reports say that not many made it up to the castle, The Dutch only brought crackers, and we almost took it as instead choosing to chill out on the fine banks of the “We Are Your Friends” out some interesting discreet, a choking gall slang you may not know an insult, but the next day the orange cuties gave away Danube - we can’t say we blame them. The other 2. Tiefschwarz “Ghost- and a preserving sweet.” in English, (but always their national cigarettes with orange filters and Dutch flags party eventually reached a full size football pitch, and track (Blackstrobe wanted to know) such on them, made specially for the World Cup. Lovely! Count- William Shakespeare after some apparent disagreement between the Irish remix)” as: ed in. Another remark for the Finnish – please bring a Santa and Italians, football took place on a small side pitch, 3. Christopher Just + “gobble deegook” and Claus next year! A series of pictures with happy drunk kids with the Irish showing everyone their rather bizarre look- Rafael “Popper” sitting on Santa’s knee in midsummer will be the craziest. “gibberish” (nonsense) ing sport, Curling, involving the use of wide sticks to hit a 4. Para One “Turtle We must include it into the EASA guide. hard ball long distances. Oh the Irish! “higgle-dee piggle- Trouble” dee” (mess/all over the 5. Wolfmother “Woman place) The presidents of Latvia and Lithuania arrived though, Val- Meanwhile the Italians eventually invited some new “wee” (small in Scot- das and Vaira, holding hands. Vaira did her best and man- people to their game and it became a fast paced, (MSTRKRFT remix)” tish) aged to find her bed after the event, Valdas had too much sweaty match of a similar (or better) quality than that “banter” (conversa- palinka though, so the Lithuanians found him in the sea of Best Bars, Clubs of the world cup final, except without any diving or vio- Party animals on tion/jokes) vests on Sunday night… And he was saying “I luv cock” as and Events: lence of course... The two teams were a mix of Italians, board! “good egg” (a trustwor- well. Bad boy. Greek, Turkish, Austrian, and a lone Scottish guy - still thy or reliable person, For those of you tir- the whitest guy in Budapest - but scoring one of the few Two Latvian girls, the like our very own Dr The Russians offered an arm wrestling event. Our editor ing of drinking from goals of the game - bring back Scotland to the World party animals from last Love for example) Agne was very successful! Some of the matches lasted for the expensive bar on Cup!!! year’s EASA have arrived “heebie jeebies” (an 15 minutes or so, and you had to consume a special drink the boats, we have come today. They hitch-hiked uneasy or nervous feel- before starting… Marko, the most correct guy in the world, across an exhaustive Nationalistic nonsense aside, the walk back to the boat from Milan and are ready ing) beat them all. One happy winner, he is, we must notice – he list of the best bars was another reminder of the interesting landscape sur- to parrrtyyeyyayaaaahh- “that’s a rip-off” or happens to win everything he involves himself into. Nice. and clubs according rounding Budapest, what a beautiful country. Once hhh. “I was ripped-off” to “Pesticide” the hu- During this wildest ever (in its real sense) national party we (when you get over- mourously named daily FOUND! charged for something, had few unpleasant accidents. Two of the participants commentary on thi fine CLEA INVITES EASIANS like when you buy a were taken to the hospital with serious problems. One of city. Go to www.pes- Latinamerican Architecture Students Or- vodka mixer at the Kas- the Greek girls faded out while the crowd was in the peak ADVERTS Loads of stuff are found and brought tiside.hu/ and click ganization (CLEA) invites easians to attend sa bar) of drinking, and the Dutch bumped his head into something to the info point, so please come on the “best bars and to this year’s ELEA (Latinamerican Architec- “rough as a badgers sharp which left a decent hole on his forehead. Oh what a and take it away before we lose it clubs” button on the ture Students Assemby) that will take place arse” (someone rude or night! Both are ok by now, happily! right hand side - also in Panama City, from october 1st till 8th. ‘prickly’) to be found here is a CORNER ----www.elea2006.com---- “wasted” (describing Another sad news – Dr. Love said he is resigning from his list of some recommend- INFO FOR TUTORS If you are interested or have any questions, being thoroughly in- job, because there was enormous number of new couples ed restaurants, useful you can ask Latinamerican NCs. We are in- toxicated (drunk) to a after the International night… This means – no more work LOST! Dear Tutors, please remember to for those of you (eve- viting you for next year’s ELEA in San Salva- point of uselessness) for him! But maybe a new position – Dr. Breakup – would ryone) getting tired of keep Umbrella informed with up dor too, the main organizer is here and you Just ask the Irish :-p do? We’ll see. dry bread and intes- Tina from Georgia lost her small sil- and coming events, if you would can ask him anything too. tine-meat. Go forth ver Canon camera during the Na- like them advertised or reviewed More slang and puns in Well, dear readers, you surely have attended the night and and drink! Also check tional evening. Pleaaaaaseee... in the paper. The latest deadline Carlos Lanuza / Nicaragua the next issue, as long experienced everything yourselves – the room was packed! www.caboodle.hu for a If found - give it back. At least the for any information is 5pm! We Carlos Schonenberg / El Salvador as the Irish don’t find So we stop the blabbering and please look at the pictures useful events guide. pictures! me! on the bonus page of the newspaper. want your news! los esperamos... Old Man River (The Irish point of Hugo’s Dictionary view to the boat trip) If you’ve been reading Umbrella recently and only understanding about a third of it, that’d be because they’re got a lusty Mick hack Very much a case of the morning after the night on the team nowadays. Apart from the fact that native English before, the trip up the Danube was 1) a wel- speakers probably know a few words that those speaking it as a A come escape from Budapest, 2) a chance to get second language mightn’t generally know, this particulary corre- some fresh air and 3) to stretch some cramped spondent relies almost exclusively on Irish slang combined with in- legs. However, it was also 4) a chance to get jokes so private that only about three or four people on the boat as fucking drunk as possible on a boat and 5) can understand him. Sound. So, as there have been a couple of queries regarding what the fuck any of my articles have been ELL escape from a hangover that surely would have about, I have been inveigled to produce a dictionary so you can r claimed many lives. Question: If you can kill understand the greater part of them. I’m not asking you to enjoy two birds with one stone, what do you need to them: that’d be a very big ask. kill the five aforementioned birds? Answer: 2 For example, the following Mick babble from Umbrella 4 “CALL THE B hurleys, a frisbee, a soccerball and a bottle of vodka. COPS!”: “Howyeh dere guard! Is dere something wrong dere? Jaysis, I had WORKSHOPS FOOD REVIEW For those of you who chose to try and sleep no idea. Just up for de day guard. Of course, of course.” would translate as off the hangover rather than engaging it with _Recycle “Hello officer. How can I help you? Honestly, I had no idea I was At last the wave of events is guerrila tactics - ambushing it at dawn with doing something wrong. This is my first time in the city. coming through. Re-cycled work- strong liquor - you missed an opportunity to I’ll do whatever I can to remedy the problem.” shop kicked off with the advert- distinguish yourselves on the field of battle. a-like adidas show on the other Never have so few drank so much for so little Below is a small list that may help you out in deciphering past and side of the river. Sadly Friday (big yourself up Frank, you legend). It wasn’t future Umbrellas. Obviously I’m not going to give everything away, rain destroyed pieces of it, al- just the demon booze though; listening to al- because we still have a lot of things that we need to keep on the though this was fixed quickly. bums all the way through reminds you about down-low. I suppose we could always get Con-Job to teach us However we are still holding cant ... the tyranny of iPod playlists. I think we all the investigation on what could have been the relations between learned a little bit about that today, that Getting shit-faced. Getting drunk. the company and tutors who was diversity doesn’t necessarly equal enjoyment. I was fucking fucked. I was very drunk. leading the workshop? If anyone Hmmm. Think about it. Get me a pint there. Hey baby, prepare to be knows anything about it, please bored out of your pants do not hesitate to contact us. The journey was also noteworthy for a couple Have you ever seen the Maayh-trix? Hey baby, prepare to be of wrestling matches, a spectacle that some charmed out of your pints From the staff (and par- Have you heard about ...? Get ready for a song _Led Attack people may have found a little ... eh ... Led Attack are preparing for ticipants) De Big Strong Man My Brother, Sylveste Isn’t it the most beautiful food-related view of mental. The participants can be identified by their second fight! Look for the A Lusty Mick An Irishman the past week? Fresh fruit and veggies, coffee flyers in the meantime, as it has various carpet burns (Badges of honour? As How’re t’ings? How are you? Despite of many misunder- with milk, bread obviously… We hope it’s only a to happen at 22:30 at Zsimpla good a name as any for them. A lie, but a good Hows de form dere brother? How are you? start! Muchos besos for the food crew and sorry Kert. standings during this BIG name.) and a willingness to grapple without What’s de story? What’s going on? WEEKEND, we are all very for those who overslept. even the hint of provocation. Worrying. Also, Dis/dat is fucking cat. This/That is terrible. thankful for organizers and our resident rockstar played us a few tunes on I’m hanging. I am hungover their effort in cleaning Stuck on the boat! a pretty poxy guitar (nice tatts by the way) Shotgun Blues Diarrhoea Square it! Pass the ball in a horizontal our mess after the national and the Greek godesses hid behind their Jackie Wasps Panic boke out on Zsofia after the manner! O sunglasses. night and helping us to re- timber connection between the two Banging tunes Good music cover. We had a BEAUTIFUL De smell of want Desire Wasp attack! Increasingly EASA- boats (and the mainland) was severed Apparently there was some confusion about what A filthy whack of want Unbridled horniness ians have found themselves under boat trip yesterday, a won- (it fell in the water). However the was supposed to happen with the soccer, and as Stepping on Toes/Mowing Your Lawn Trying to block someone from attack from these almost entirely derful meal and great band. disconnection was quite brief, and a result very few matches were played. Pretty chatting up a girl. A grievous offence. useless creatures, but today re- Thank you for that. the Hungarian organisers had already disappointing, as it looked like there were Icy Pint of Wife Beater (British) A cold pint of Stella Artois porters Andri and Joris discovered a good way to get rid of them. Their first brought out the sleeping gas to sub- some very talented players from Turkey, Italy 800 Years! Our excuse for everything attempt involved a deadly slap from Joris’ spoon, followed up with a (liter- due the inhabitants of Zsofia, so the Not worth a curse Useless and Ireland (to name but a few) on show.* An situation was resolved peacefully. C’mere to me gorgeous Hello there, lady ally) crushing blow from a water bottle. Guys later discovered that placing athletic game of frisbee was taking place si- Wee fox A good looking girl a slice of meat on the table can be useful as bait for the horrible creature. You won’t see me crossing the boats multaneously and the lusty Micks were stick- Big Hooer of a Fella A big man Enjoy battering those wasps into the strange EASA meat! any more! ing in their usual clique and making various The Sweat Lodge The Irish sleping quarters. degrees of impact between hurley and sliothar. Aptly named. Famously social, but can’t throw any stones Deadly Very good Friendly Grandfatherly Advice FussBall tournament myself, I was chasing the sliothar like a dog Legend Distinguished person. Sound Good/decent with a bone. Never smoke Belarussian cigarettes. Eh, Belarus, one ques- We are going to organise a FussBall The Demon Booze Alcohol. The cause and solu- tion: were you trying to kill us all on the night itself, tion of all problems. Tournament for all interested nations in The trip home was a little more subdued for Hurling Irish sport or a slow lingering death over the course of two of your the next few days, look out for further in- some, but there was a great bout of cheering cigarettes? Smoking is not big and cool, but generally it’s Hurley the weapon - sorry, stick - us- formation and a list for you to write up whenever we passed under a bridge. Eh, what ing in hurling survivable. Smoking Belarussian style is pretty much Bela- the fuck was that about? You woke me up. Sliothar (shlitter) the ball used in hurling russian Roulette. your team. FussBall!!! Take it easy Relax (can also be used as a *Clement (Fr) also says that he’s a good play- way of saying goodbye) Maltese Chris, drinking so much that you get sick is something that’s generally considered an Irish er, but didn’t manage to see his get on the Poxy Rubbish trait. Now, this years crop of Lusty Micks managed to avoid disgracing themselves, but I understand ball. I’m afraid that I’m going to have to you produced enough volume to for all of us. Your Irish passport is in the post. withold my judgment until I see some skillz Johnny Iroquois (Five Brothers Fat Enterprises) Clement. No offence. Danish Tine, you have the A’s from everybody else’s name. Please, give some of them back to us. Please do not hate us because of the amounts Fr_ncis Ke_ne (Ireland) and Eleni K_l_m_kid_i (Greece) need them back if they are to match up with Flamonge (Five Brothers Fat Enterprises) of text. We ARE being productive and eager. the names on their passports, otherwise they won’t be able to get back into their respective coun- See inside page for pictures! tries. If you had your way this whole thing would just be called E_S_. National evening review poll To guide future efforts at creating a great national evening, we have collected some opinions about the last one. From the poll we can conclude that some countries were just out to poison us, some were out to cover us in chocolate, and some were just deadly.

The big questions of the day: 1) what country had the best table 2) what country had the worst table 3) what country had the most intoxicating drink

1) With the cigarettes 1) Italy 2) Romania 2) Portugal 3) Denmark 3) De Oy Rish

Johanne Ronsholt (Denmark) Chris Malloney (UK) 1) ? 1) Georgia 2) Romania 2) Belarus 3) Austria 3) Romania

Tine Aagaard (Denmark) Pernille Siggaard (Denmark) 1) Hungary 1) Georgia 2) Latvia 2) Ukraine 3) Latvia 3) Turkey

Carlos Schonenberg (El Salvador) Iva Marcetic (Croatia) 1) Georgia 1) Ireland 2) Marocco 2) Romania 3) Romania 3) Romanian Hell Drink

Perger Balarg (Hungary) Julie Bart (France) 1) Slovenia 1) Romania 2) Romania 2) Belgium 3) Russia 3) Romania

Horvath Csaba (Hungary) Miro Craciun (Romania) 1) Slovenia 1) Ireland 2) Belarus 2) Turkey 3) Romania 3) Romania

Neal Patterson (Ireland) Alex Retegan (Romania) 1) With the cake 1) Lithuania 2) Romania 2) Belarus 3) Romanian death piss 3) Romania

Daniel Rammallu (Denmark) Alper Kurbak (Turkey) 1) Lithuania 1) Russia (chocolate) 2) Belarus 2) France 3) Romania 3) Champagne

Emmet Kenny (Ireland) Rikke Jorgensen (Denmark) 1) Belgium 1) the combination 2) Belarus 2) Germany 3) Romania 3) Russian porno sushi

Francis Keane (Ireland) Jenny Suhonnen (Finland)