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January 1, 2012 Sunday Happy New Year! We Got up Packed Ate Breakfast and Drove Home from David and Lara’S House in Manti

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January 1, 2012 Sunday Happy New Year! We Got up Packed Ate Breakfast and Drove Home from David and Lara’S House in Manti 2012 January 1, 2012 Sunday Happy New Year! We got up packed ate breakfast and drove home from David and Lara’s house in Manti. Our new time for church is 9:00 so there was no way we were going to make it, so we sang gospel songs most of the way home. The girls and I cheered when we pulled of the free way into American Fork, we unpacked very little and James, Attira and I took a nap. Nakiya and Jatae, thankfully, watched Jonny Lingo, and then some Christmas shows. When I awoke they were at the end of Nora’s Christmas gift. I pulled it out after we watched the Nativity and put in our Doctrine and Covenants CES video. We watched movies on the restoration of the gospel, Zions camp, and other historical facts of our great church. By then James was getting ready for work, for the first time in years he, sincerely, stated that he wants so badly to go back to the temple this year. That is a goal I would love for him to achieve, I believe he can, with the help of the Lord, and our recovery group.! Before he left he asked me to do something special for his birthday so I called mother, we are getting him a cheese cake tomorrow, and I invited Resha, Stetson, and Trina and their families to come for dessert. I have made 30, “Happy Birthday James!” signs which I am going to hang up, hopefully, tonight, I am very tired. We spent a couple hours visiting with Mom and Dad. When we arrived back home I realized Trina had our house key and so we could not get in. We had to go to her house to pick it up. So we did, come home, read our scriptures and the girls went to bed. Jatae was sucking her thumb and so I asked her if her thumb was more important than her family or Christ. She said no but I asked if she meant or just saying it because that is what I desired to hear. Her response was honest that she was saying what I wanted to hear. I am grateful for her honesty. While we were getting ready for bed I caught her again and she tells me she did not even realize she was sucking it, then she ask me, “Is that a good thing?” I chuckled and do not remember my response. I was just so touched by her sweet yet wise question. She has a desire to stop. We are trying to help her. She does really well when she prays. That is the goal, get her to pray to stop more. I am so grateful James has a desire to go to the temple. I am grateful he told me I was pretty today. I am grateful Nakiya was so willing to work as a team with Jatae to color in the friend, she even got the markers and they both shared. It was heartwarming! I am grateful for Attira who desired to sit on Grandma, and pa’s toilet. I am grateful for simple phrases of hers like, “Get off spider!” she said to the spider on her bed. I am so grateful how she gets so excited to see Trina. I am grateful for her, “Bye Jackie,” she shouted as we drove from mom and dads. I am so blessed to have these four wonderful people in my life. I am grateful for God’s love in giving James his birthday off. I am grateful the Lord inspires me to make the most of my day! January 2, 2012 Monday Today James turned 30! To celebrate the girls and I cleaned the house, decorated with streamers and 30 happy birthday James signs, played outside, and woke James to renew his license only to realize that the government agencies are on holiday for the New Year. So we had lunch and went down for a nap. At three I woke up to find Attira and Jatae asleep and Nakiya in the living room, coloring. I got dinner made, went to Costco with mother to get a cheesecake, only find they were out. So we got a chocolate mousse cake instead. Mother also bought us some ice cream; I am very grateful for her charity and love toward us. She had dinner with us and then we waited for our dessert guest to arrive. Stetson, Debi, Daxton, Treygan, Clint, and Trina came and had cake with us. We had a lovely visit and they soon left. Dad came around 8:00; he had to work until 7:30. He had some cake, visited for a short time 1 2012 and then he and mother left. Resha, Danny, Jayda, Deklen, Sienna and Ireland came just after 8:00 and had some cake. We had a delightful chat with then while the children played. It was such a treat to see the kids, and hug and kiss them all. I am grateful for the outpouring of love that James felt as family called, visited, or texted. I am grateful for God the father who made it possible for James to have tonight off. I am grateful for the good food, the cake was too rich but the ice cream softened it. I am grateful for Nakiya who plays so well, alone, while we all slept. I am grateful for Attira who is trying my patience the last two days. I am thinking she is growing, so I gave her some Tylenol and got her ready for bed. She was ok, however, as soon as the kids got here to play. I am grateful for Jatae who struggles to share her toys, for fear of losing them, or they are special to her, but is learning to do it anyway. I am grateful, for now, that she will answer what I want to hear. I hope she soon learns why. I am grateful for family support. I am grateful for repentance and forgiveness. I am grateful to have a mother and father to talk to. I am thankful to have my paper and half our presentation done. January 3, 2012 Tuesday I made it through another week of class. I learned much but the funniest is that many think that when you hand someone a box of tissues, you are rescuing them and telling them to stop crying. I think it is dumb, I have always felt grateful for the tissue to get the snot off my face. I will have to do a little research, I think. Today I was reading in Ether, when the brother of Jared and his people enter the barges and head out to sea. They are tossed to and fro, but they cry more readily unto the Lord who brings them out of the depths of the sea. Sometimes they were tossed to get them to the promised land, where God wanted them to be. For the first time I read this verse and interpreted it to my life; God does, at times, toss us about to make us like Him. He is there with us the whole time molding us to be like him. When we are submerged so deeply that we fear for our lives, the Lord is there to bring us back into the light. He has given me some tough trials, I have wept and felt as though I may drown, but with all my weeping and through my prayers God has lifted me just when I thought all hope was lost. I was able to share with Lance, our neighbor that I am going to be a counselor because I have had counseling myself. He opened up and shared that his wife has an addiction and that is why they are separated. He commented several times that he did not know that about me. I did say earlier I desire to work with those with addictions. I was able to testify that through God, healing is possible. Interestingly I had a desire to make sure he knew it was not my addiction but James. However, in that very moment I was telling myself it did not matter whose addiction it was. It was both our addiction’s both of us needed healing, and my addiction is to self-defeating thoughts, equally as damaging. I believe I have opened the door even further to help him and his wife. God works in mysterious ways. I am grateful for Nakiya, Jatae and Attira who cleaned their room twice today. I am grateful Nakiya gives me opportunities to practice tough love. I am grateful Jatae and Deklen were so excited to go with me to pick up Nakiya from school. I am also, grateful for their laughter about strange names as we drove home. I am grateful I was there to pick up Jayda, early. I am grateful Clint had to wait until we got there; he told me he came right out. Oh I am grateful to have him every day. I am grateful Attira has peed in the toilet twice today, we are practicing about every hour, or so. I am grateful for James smile when I wake him to kiss him throughout the day. He is beginning to genuinely love me and I am so thankful for that. I am grateful for the light that is returning in his eyes, I feel like a newlywed at times. He is changing and I love it. I am grateful to God for all the good that happens in my life.
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