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Cold Open:

Extra BIG parental warning on today’s episode. Almost every episode of Timesuck is wildly inappropriate, but this is one is a little extra disturbing. This one is up there with the Toybox Killer, Albert Fish, Joseph Duncan, Bob Berdella, Chikatilo and a few others as far as being one of the most upsetting topics we’ve ever covered.

Fascinating as Hell, but, extremely graphic content lies ahead.

Between the years of 1955 and 1976, Joachim [yaw him] Kroll raped, murdered, and also ate many of his victims.

All but one of his victims were women and most of them young girls living around around Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] Germany.

Relatively unknown outside of Germany, the Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] Man-Eater aka the Ruhr [ roa r ] Hunter, aka the Ruhr Cannibal [ roa r ], was an intensely disturbing and deranged serial killer who terrorized his victims by committing some of the most heinous crimes known to man.

Kroll killed at least 14 people and potentially killed, raped and ate more than twice that amount during his two-decade long spree.

He also destroyed additional lives in other ways by having a string of unfortunate men take the fall for his crimes.

Did he pull all that off because he was some kind of criminal mastermind?

No. Not even close. He’s the most intellectually challenged killer we’ve ever covered.

But don’t let that make you feel sorry for this monster. His crimes don’t leave much room for sympathy.

After we learn about Kroll and his demented story, stick around for a deeper look into cannibalism around the world.

Turns out there are more than a few other examples of meatsacks as disturbing as Kroll.

So buckle up and get ready for a dark as fuck, true crime, did you really just say that edition of Timesuck. https://filmdaily.co/news/Joachim [yaw him]-kroll/

PAUSE TIMESUCK INTRO

I.Welcome!

A.Happy Monday:

Happy Monday Timesuckers!

I’m Dan Cummins, the Master Sucker, the dark web diver, Minstrel of Mental Mush-Mouthedd Mayhem, and you are listening to Timesuck.

Hail Nimrod! Watch over us Lucifina! Protect us Bojangles. And soothe us Triple M.

Recording in the Suckdungeon again in CDA with the Reverend Doctor Joe Paisley, the Scriptkeeper Zaq Flannary, and Logan Keith in the building.

Gotta get Logan a nickname. Already used Micropeen a long time ago, so I’ll have to think about it.

B.Thank You For Reviews:

Thanks for continuing to rate and review Timesuck online. Noted and appreciated, meat sacks. Thanks for continuing to return to the Cult of the Curious.

C.Additional Announcements:

Reminder that we donated $5800 to https://www.alz.org/ this month to help end Alzheimer’s and dementia. Link in the episode description.

Thank you.

D.MERCH: Got some seriously weird Covid-19 face masks up at Bad Magic Merch dot com for those of you who either have to wear ‘em or if you just want to - might as well have fun with it all.

Also! Two new variations of a new secret suck tee with more of a classic look. A nice subdued addition to the catalog for those of you hesitant to wear some of your more outrageous designs in public.

And while they look tame, they are made out of 204% Albino Lyger Taint. VERY rare. EXTREMELY exotic. Super durable and guaranteed to put some extra pep in your step.

E.Segue to Topic: And now - God help us all - let’s get to know Joachim [yaw him] Kroll.

PAUSE TIMESUCK INTERLUDE

II.Intro/Establish Premiss:

Kroll would kill for a long, long time.

I can’t think of anyone else who killed AND ate as many people and got away with it for as long as he did.

Kroll would later try and claim that that his murders had to do with a simple inability to buy food. But that’s bullshit.

He did it because he loved it. It turned him on. He loved gore.

Unlike most serial killers we’ve covered, Kroll NEVER had an actual consensual sexual relationship with anyone.

He almost had one, one-night stand. Almost.

He never learned how to talk to women. Never learned how to talk to anyone really. Never had any friends.

He was very, VERY much a loner. And being a loner is often not a good thing. Many of us need someone to help reel us back in from the darkness from time to time.

Kroll had no such person. Not after his mother died. He was untethered. Free to explore his sadistic urges. No one was watching him. No one was checking in.

And that’s a damn shame because he really, REALLY could’ve used someone to guide him towards a much better life than the one he chose.

Let’s dig into that life now, in today’s Timesuck Timeline.

https://filmdaily.co/news/Joachim [yaw him]-kroll/

PAUSE TIMESUCK TIMELINE INTRO

III.Timesuck Timeline

https://murderpedia.org/male.K/k/kroll-Joachim [yaw him].htm https://sites.psu.edu/harringpassion/2019/04/05/Joachim [yaw him]- georg-kroll/ Documentary: The Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] Cannibal https://killer.cloud/serial-killers/show/72/Joachim [yaw him]-kroll http://serialkillercentral.blogspot.com/2010/07/Joachim [yaw him]- kroll-ruhr-hunter.html

1.April 17, 1933: On April 17th, 1933, Joachim [yaw him] Georg Kroll is born in a town that no longer exists under the name or country it did when Joachim [yaw him] was born- Hindenburg, Province of Upper Silesia [ si-lee-zhuh].

And this threw me into a wormhole I spent way too much time researching.

Bear with me for a moment.

Wanting to get a feel for the town of his birth, I had trouble getting details about Hindenburg because there IS no Hindenburg, Germany.

Not anymore.

A few decades prior to Joachim [yaw him]’s birth, this town was known by its Polish name of Zabrze [ zahb-zhe ].

Poor Poland!

I’ve joked around a lot about it on Timesuck because my wife is mostly Polish, but, it truly has been invaded so, SO many times.

It’s long history is pretty damn complicated. Being sandwiched between various Russian and German states turned it into a real punching bag and it’s dealt with foreign oppressors for most of the last two and-a-half centuries.

Russia, Austria, and Prussia - essentially Germany under a different name - carved Poland up in 1795.

And the historically Polish city of Zabrze [ zahb-zhe ], now under Prussian rule, was renamed Hindenburg in honor of the German general and later President of Germany in 1915.

After WW1, Poland regained it’s independence - BUT - a lot of Germans had settled in Hindenberg during its Prussian occupation - and, it ended up RIGHT on the border of new Poland and Germany. And a vote was held for its residents to decide if it wanted to remain German or go back to being Poland.

And the majority of its residents were like, “Fuuuuuuuuck Poland.”

And so MOST of the city remained a part of Germany. The city ended up becoming a divided border town. And Joachim [yaw him] ended up being born on the German side.

THEN - WW2 happened and Germany took Poland back over. And all of the Zabrze [ zahb-zhe ] area fell under German control

And then WW2 ended and Poland became its own nation again, and it was given a brand new border, and Hindenberg was no longer a border town. It fell well-within Poland again.

And in 1945 its residents were like, “FUUUUUUUCK Germany.”

And they renamed it Zabrze [ zahb-zhe ]. AND THAT is why, when you find Joachim [yaw him]’s bio on some place like Wikipedia, and it says he was born in Hindenburg, Germany and then you click the link - Zabrze [ zahb-zhe ] Poland pops up.

Boom! Mystery solved. Hail Nimrod!

And I do realize most people probably don’t give a shit about that detail but it confused and bothered me and once I figured it out, I felt like I had to share it with you.

So what Joachim [yaw him] growing up in this German Polish town?

Well - not a lot is written about Joachim [yaw him] ’s early life and sources are often contradictory.

He was either the sixth or the eighth of a total of eight or nine children born to the Kroll family. I’m gonna go with eight. It’s the number that comes up the most often. Six sisters and one brother.

The names of his parents, or his siblings, curiously are just not given in any of the sources we can find on him. Those details MAY exist in sources written in German, I would be surprised if they didn’t, but, none of that info seems to have made the jump to English.

It seems that Joachim [yaw him] was born into a coal mining family - the area of Zabrze [ zahb-zhe ] had become a huge coal mining region by the end of the 18th century.

Joachim [yaw him] was a small, feeble, and intellectually slow child, estimated to have an IQ of around 76, putting him in the middle of the category of “Borderline impaired or delayed” on the most recent, fifth edition of the Standford-Binet intelligence scale. Below 69 is “mildly impaired or delayed”. Other scales list a scored of 76 as “Low intelligence,” or “Well Below Average.”

According to those who study intelligence, a mind in this IQ range will have limited trainability and will have difficulty with everyday demands. These include problems using a phone book, reading bus or train schedules, banking, filling out forms and using appliances like video cameras, microwaves, or computers.

I find Joachim [yaw him]’s level of intelligence is interesting.

He’s very different than most of the killer’s we’ve covered here on Timesuck.

He was for sure smart enough to know that what he was doing was very wrong - he always took steps to hide his crimes - always took steps to get away with what he was doing.

So - in that sense, I don’t give him a pass. I don’t feel sorry for him. It doesn’t seem that his limited intellectual ability lead him to murder. Not at all. His compulsion for sadistic killing doesn’t seem to have been connected in any way to his, say, inability to perform well in school academically.

I find his low intelligence interesting because of how long he got away with his horrific crimes - two decades. Usually, someone who gets away with brutal serial killing for that long is more likely to be some type of criminal mastermind than someone with the intelligence of a mentally impaired child.

Due to Joachim’s [yaw him] limited intellectual abilities, he was labeled as being “stupid” by his classmates. Physically small and weak as well, with gigantic ears that stuck almost straight out - young Kroll was a bully magnet.

Obviously, this took a hard emotional toll on him as it would anyone. Being bullied - being socially ostracized - THAT may have for sure helped lead to him becoming a killer. So I guess in that sense, his low IQ and murders could be seen as being connected.

It seems Joachim [yaw him] was also ridiculed at homeby his older sisters and brother. According to Kroll, all of his family members took part in teasing him except his mother. Sweet, sweet mommy. Kroll became quite the “momma’s boy”, and her later death would devastate him.

(Kemper) MOTHER YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE I CAN TRUST.

Kemper reference there for any new listeners thinking - where the Hell did that voice come from?

Kroll’s father allegedly instigated much of the abuse both mentally and physically against his slow, feeble son.

Kroll claimed his father thought he was a “loser,” and made a point to tell him that on a regular basis. So now while we still don’t know his dad’s name, we do know his home wasn’t filled with “Awesome Dad” trophies.

And again here - his numerous siblings, according to Kroll, weren’t much better than their dad, using Kroll as the family scapegoat, blaming him for things that would’ve gotten them in trouble, and he’d end up taking their beatings.

He quickly became the outsider of the family. The black sheep. The outcast. He would develop into a loner, and as we just learned in the Killer Kids Suck, becoming a picked-on loner is a great way to grow up and become a killer.

Needless to say, his self-esteem was not off-the-charts high. He didn’t wear a lot of t-shirts that un-ironically said stuff like, “Studmuffin!” No one ever seriously referred to this guy as being the German equivalent of a “pussy magnet”, not in some un-ironic way.

Kroll also had a serious bedwetting issue that would plague him for much of his life.

Making things EVEN BETTER, his family was super poor, as was much of Germany between the end of World War I and during World War Two.

The Krolls often waited in long breadlines just to get barely enough shitty food to stop their stomachs from growling.

My God. His childhood was fodder for one of Steff CoxScurvy’s routine - dark comic of the Suck-verse.

(Steff CoxScurvy) “If you grew up a big-eared, no-friend-having bedwetter, standing in a breadline with your daddy and sisters and brother who mock you for being slow, and the only friend you have in the world is your momma… you might be a killer.”

2.1941: In 1940 of 1941, after Joachim [yaw him] finished up the 3rd grade, he was placed into a special needs school where he continued to struggle when it came to learning to read, write and work with numbers.

Even at this school, he was the target of bullies. Poor kid. In a school full of kids who likely were bullied at their previous schools, Kroll was still bullied.

He wasn’t King Shit of Fuck Mountain. He stood at the very bottom of that hill.

3. 1943: At the age of around ten, in 1943, like most German boys of the time, Joachim [yaw him] was drafted into the Hitler Youth party.

And, once again, his low intelligence, “mousey” features, and big ears made him an instant target for ridicule.

Small for his age and slow to respond to instructions, Nazi group leaders called him “stupid” “gutless” and a “wimp”.

Which isn’t really surprising. I mean, it’s not like the Nazis were known for being kind and nurturing. How weird would it be if his story took that turn?

(nonsense) “And when Joachim [yaw him] joined the Hitler Youth, everything turned around. His fellow young Nazis helped him with his reading, writing, and arithmetic. They taught him how to fight and take care of himself. He learned how to talk to girls. His self-esteem SKYROCKETED thanks to all those super supportive and emotionally sensitive Nazis.”

Kroll didn’t last long and was basically kicked out of the Hitler Youth for not being up to Nazi standards.

That’s gotta be a tough self-esteem day. Especially when your dad is now fighting in the war for Germany.

(Young Kroll) “Yes, Hitler! I vant to be part of ze master race!”

(Angry Nazi) “Nein! Nein! Za Master Race is not being about ze large bat ears. Za master race is not being about ze tiny muscles and ze tiny brain! Zoo must be more zan just hating ze Jews! Zoo must be strong. Ze must NOT be a little, slow girly bat boy! https://www.bartleby.com/essay/The-Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] -Man-Eater-And-Ruhr-Hunters-PK8C5JBKTU5ZQ

At some point during the war, Kroll’s father dies fighting for Germany against the Russians and his already poor family is even worse off than before. Super fun times.

Actually - we THINK Kroll’s dad died in the war.

Some sources say he was taken as a POW by Russia towards the end of the war and never returned home. Other sources say he did return home and either died later in Kroll’s childhood or abandoned his family.

No matter which version is true, by the time Kroll would be arrested for multiple murders, both his parents would be long dead.

During the war, Kroll’s family moves around looking for any work they can find to stay alive. Times are tough, real tough, for almost everyone in the war-torn area.

4.1945: In 1945, when Kroll is twelve, his hometown now suddenly belongs to Poland.

Anti-German sentiment rises in the area, which I guess is to be expected - I don’t think anyone gave the Nazi’s a “Ahhh, don’t worry about it. Shit happens” kind of pass after the war, and Kroll’s shitty life gets even shittier. Now kids can make fun of him for being a former Nazi in addition to being slow, weak, and physically unattractive.

He’s killing the game. He’s jumping out of bed every morning and pumping his fist. “Fuck yeah! Whooooo!!! LOVE my life!”

5.1947: Between 1947 and 1949, when Kroll is between the ages of fourteen and sixteen, the Kroll family flees Poland and move back to Germany, to a little village in the area that now makes the state of North Rhine-Westphalia [ west-fey-lee-uh] and they get work as farm laborers.

Here, they move into a tiny two room house.

Yes - his mother, six sisters and one brother and him, all living in a two room home. SWEET! Everything is aces now. Everything is now going really, really well for the Krolls.

To help the family, young Joachim [yaw him] and his siblings now all work as farmers.

And according to the records we could find, Joachim [yaw him] enjoyed working on the farm.

Like - he REALLY enjoyed it.

It was good for his self-esteem to do something productive.

And - he sexually discovered himself. On the farm. Yes - things are about to get real explicit and insane.

Kroll ESPECIALLY enjoyed working in the slaughter house. YIKES. Maybe a little bit of a red flag here.

It was at the slaughter house where Joachim [yaw him] first felt strong sexual arousal.

Ugh.

He later admitted to authorities that while he was watching someone butcher a pig, when he first saw the pig’s blood and heard its screams - his stomach tingled and he felt sexually aroused in a way he had never experienced before.

He got so turned on - so taken by the surging of chemicals and his suddenly racing heartbeat - that he actually had to go outside to catch his breath and calm down.

He had to, basically, go walk off the murder boner he was now sporting.

My god.

(Steff Coxscurvy) “If the first time you remember damn near poking a hole in your overalls with your meat sword was the first time you saw a hog git kilt…. yew might be a killer! Lord have MERCY yew might be a killer.”

Joachim [yaw him] would later refer to this sense of extreme arousal as his “funny feelings.”

That’s so fucking creepy.

Imagine hunting with this guy?

“Where you heading off to Joachim [yaw him]? Gutting this deer making you sick?”

“Nein. I like it. I like it too much. Needing to find ze private place to beat avay my funny feelings.”

Later on his young adult life, Joachim [yaw him] would have much more direct sexual experiences with farm animals.

Joachim [yaw him] never assigned an exact age to these relations, so, I might as well just talk about that now.

At a later point in his youth, Kroll watched a farmer inseminate a cow by shoving his hand up into the cow’s vagina.

And - surprise, surprise, he had some more “funny feelings”!

A nasty ass light bulb went off in his demented head.

He thought something along the lines of, “Hmmmmmm… If that guy can get part of his ARM inside that cow…. I can for sure get my weiner in there.”

And apparently, that’s exactly what he started doing. And often. We don’t know how often. Unfortunately, he didn’t keep a cow fucking journal.

(Joachim [yaw him] Journal entry)

Dearest Diary. Today is August 16th, 1951.

It vas a varm summer’s day today in Hidel-smigel. I vorked in ze morning stacking ze hay bails in ze main barn. I vorked up quite an appetite. Zen, ven I vent to get some varm, fresh milk zat vas vin I first saw her. Betsy vas beautiful. Long eyelashes. Dark seductive eyes. Vunderful coloring. A beautiful brown swiss vith sexy little hooves and a skinny vittle tail dat really got my juices flowing. Ve made love in stall number four. Me - thrusting away as the power-vul lovah zat I am, and her, eating some hay and swatting some flies from her sexy hide. If vas a perfect day. I zink I vill see her again. Dare I say, I might have found a new girlfriend.

Fah-zer vas wrong - ol’ Joachim [yaw him] is not a loser. He’s quite a ladies man. Dis vas za fourth lady-cow I conquer zis month. I zink I might be a bit of a slut even.”

Clearly - Joachim [yaw him] is NOT developing a healthy sexual identity. So far, pig slaughter and cow fucking are his primary sources of sexual satisfaction.

Also sometime in his early farming youth, he does make at least one attempt at trying to seduce a human woman.

And it doesn’t go well.

He has now idea how to talk to women. He later would talk with psychiatrists, after his capture, about making some impulsive advances towards a milk maid he was working with. But she rejected his advances, which sound like they were super clumsy.

Basically, it sounds like he just walked up to a milk maid he was working with and started trying to make out with her completely out of nowhere, and she was like, “What the fuck are you doing? Get away from me, you creep!!”

It sounded like he approached this woman like he’d approach one of the cows he was fucking. No conversation. No foreplay. Let’s just get to it!

(Joachim [yaw him] Journal entry)

Dearest Diary. Today is July 7th, 1952.

It vas a an up and down day here in Streusel-Sauerkraut.

Dis morning, I tried to make Greta za milk maid my girlfriend.

I approached her vith some of za hot moves I’d been using on ze cow-ladies vith so much success.

I fought for certain she vould’ve been made so vet - so honry by my moves, but she shouted Nein! And she bopped me about za chest and face and ran avay from me.

Luckily, in za afternoon, during a break for lunch, I van into a beautiful, German Holstein in stall number nine. Clara belle. Such good coloring. Such a busty little udder. She liked my thrusting so much she even stopped eating ze hay to turn her head and moo at me enticingly.”

6.January 21, 1955: After several yeas of farm work and cow fucking, on January 21st, when Joachim [yaw him] is twenty-one, his mother dies.

This seemed to break something in Joachim [yaw him].

His mother was the most important person in the world to Joachim [yaw him]. The one woman who didn’t seem to openly despise him, or at least be annoyed with him as his sisters seemed to be.

He was crushed when she passed, and only a few weeks later, he began his two decade long murder spree.

Did he take the anger he felt out about his mom’s passing on his future victims? Did he just suddenly feel comfortable succumbing to dark urges he may have had for years now that he no longer had to worry about mommy finding out?

We don’t know. Joachim [yaw him] didn’t appear to be capable, really, of verbally expressing that type of introspection.

https://www.svsd.net/cms/lib5/PA01001234/Centricity/Domain/ 1046/Joachim [yaw him]%20Kroll%205.pdf

In most accounts, his family drifts apart after his mother’s passing, now that both parents are dead.

Immediately after his mother’s passing, Joachim [yaw him] moves to Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] in northwest Germany, part of the Ruhr [ roa r ] Region where he would spend the rest of his life.

Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] is a city of around 500,000 in a metro area of several million.

The Ruhr [ roa r ] region or Ruhr [ roa r ] district is known primarily for its mining and steel production and encompasses 50 industrial cities. It is often referred to as the Iron Triangle.

Back in the 50s, it was both a heavily populated and also incredibly polluted area. More people lived there then than now, due to a decline in mining and steel production beginning in the mid-1960s.

In the 50s, inundated with factories unhindered by modern environmental laws, it was a nightmare. Soot and sulfuric acid regularly fell from the sky, coloring the waterways bright shades of yellow and green and rendering local streams devoid of life. The few species of wildlife able to exist in this toxic environment were reportedly poisonous and considered inedible, as were most forms of plant life. Also, 80% of all residential buildings in the city had recently been destroyed or partly damaged in WW2 bombing raids. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duisburg#Post- World_War_II_period

Pictures of the area make it seem like it’s quite nice now, but the Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] Joachim [yaw him] moved into in 1955 was some type of low-rent Gotham City straight out of a particularly dark run of Batman comics.

A fitting dark and desolate backdrop for his depraved crimes.

Joachim [yaw him] found work as a janitor and “toilet attendant,” and, with the help of governmental social services, moved into his own apartment.

He also made at least one more attempt at having a sexual relationship with a human woman quickly after arriving in Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ].

He met a waitress from a nearby bar and took her out for a movie. Apparently, she was the one who asked him out.

He got nervous around her and was unable to communicate much with her, but they made it through the movie, and then afterwards, she told him to take her back to his flat.

When they made it to her place, she began to touch him sexually, and his total lack of experience with women revealed itself in an embarrassing way.

He got so excited and nervous he prematurely ejaculated. And then apparently this woman got upset with him, made fun of him, and then left.

Great! First mom dies and now this!

Premature ejaculation would be a recurring problem for Joachim [yaw him], and according to what he told police years later, when other women found out about his problem, they also made fun of him.

He was certain now that he wouldn’t ever be able to have real sex with a woman, despite his heightened desire to do so.

So, apparently, he went back to having sex with farm animals.

Not sure how he did that when he was working as a janitor. I imagine he just snuck out to some open fields a ways outside of town at night and did some more deeds he’d not write about in the imaginary journal I’m still pretending he kept.

(Joachim [yaw him] Journal entry)

Dearest Diary. Today is February 1st, 1955.

Not the greatest of ze days. Had a date vith Marta that began terrific but ended in tragedy.

Sat quietly through a movie then she took me back to my place and put her hand on my penis. And it gave me the funniest of funny feelings!

I liked it so VERY much.

And little Joachim [yaw him], he liked it even more. He liked it, dare I say - TOO much.

And he, so to speak, spit up his food before ze meal was finished.

And Marta - she grew angry and left after vashing off little Joachim [yaw him]’s spit in ze sink.

Thanks ze Heavens - as always - for ze cow fields. My own personal night clubs. Dare is always ze cow fields. So very many sexy four-legged field ladies.”

7.February 8, 1955: On February 8th, 1955, just over two weeks after his mother’s death, Joachim [yaw him] kills for the first time.

The Kroll murder spree officially has begun.

Joachim [yaw him] was feeling lonely and desperate for human interaction on the afternoon of February 8th, and he either went on a bit of a journey.

He took a short train ride before, according to him, exiting at a random stop - some later investigators would not think his stop was so random - they think he’d been stalking his victim before her murder.

Either way, he got off the train and walked along along a road on the edge of a forest.

And he ended up encountering 19-year-old Irmgard Strehl.

She was a beautiful young blonde, dressed all in green, walking to the nearby village of Herrenstein, less than a mile away, to have lunch with her parents.

Kroll found her to be extremely attractive, and he asked her if she would like to take a walk in the woods with him.

At least that’s what HE said he’d asked her.

I have my doubts. I just can’t see this girl agreeing to just go walking out into the woods with some dude she’d just met, especially when that dude is creepy Joachim [yaw him] Kroll.

A dude who looked like a serial killer.

If he did convince her to walk with him, I bet he made up some bullshit story about how he was looking for his little sister, or his dog, or something.

He wasn’t very clever, he truly was intellectually limited - BUT - he also definitely lied to later victims in various cases, definitely tricked them into going on walks with him or coming into his apartment.

He also definitely hid their remains and covered his tracks so he wouldn’t get caught - so who knows, maybe she did agree to go on a walk with him.

Anyway, once they’d walked a short distance and no one else was around, Kroll said he attempted to kiss Irmgard and she resisted his advance.

And this pissed the little psycho off.

Angered by her actions, he wrestled her out into the woods, got her down on the ground, and then quickly stabbed her four times in the neck with a knife he’d brought with him.

Then, the strange little pervert grabbed her by her bloody throat and strangled her with her own bra.

Once he was certain she was dead, NOW Kroll began to grope and defile her body sexually.

He finally attempted to penetrate her vagina with his penis, and prematurely ejaculated. And then he remained with her body long enough to ejaculate again inside of her.

And then things got even crazier.

Making cuts similar to a butcher, he opened up her abdomen and spilled her guts as though she were that first pig he saw slaughtered.

In various sources, it’s said that, “he disemboweled her.”

THEN - in an ultimate act of contempt for some stranger who had done nothing to him other than reject his out-of-nowhere sexual advances, he defecated on her semen covered, bloody corpse.

Seriously. He took a shit on her remains.

What the fuck?

CLEARLY smart enough to have some real anger issues.

CLEARLY he’d built up some rage towards women over the years. Also seemed to be angry about his premature ejaculation sexual issues.

When Irmgard failed to arrive at her parents’ house for lunch, they immediately knew something was wrong.

A search party, which included almost every able-bodied person living in the small hamlet, was formed that afternoon by her worried mother and father.

It didn’t take them long to find her remains.

According to some accounts, on the same day she went missing, only hours after she’d been killed, Irmgard Strehl’s body was found around 3 PM.

Her remains were partially hidden by the snow-covered brush that surrounded them. Her body was only a few hundred feet from the road where she’d ran into Joachim [yaw him] Kroll.

In other accounts, she was found two-days after she went missing

Either way, the brutality and sheer spite of the act horrified the officers.

A large amount of semen was found in her vagina, as well as on her abdomen and pubic hair, a finding which randomly helped Kroll evade detection.

This next detail is so strange and disturbing.

There was SO much semen, officials believed the crime was committed by a group, or gang.

Residents, especially single women, were quickly warned by police that, if they must travel alone, to avoid GROUPS of young men.

No one had any idea that it was a single individual to blame for the crime.

Only after he was arrested decades later would authorities learn of Kroll’s nearly insatiable sexual appetite and the copious amounts of semen he produced.

Why does that detail make him SO MUCH CREEPIER TO ME????

Jesus.

What a vision.

Kroll is a small, weak, dim-witted, odd-looking toilet attendant, a rapist and killer who fucks cows, gets turned on by pig slaughter, who also PRODUCES COPIOUS AMOUNTS OF SEMEN!

Imagine any of that on a dating profile.

“Hi! My name’s Joachim [yaw him] Kroll. I clean toilets by day and FILL VAGINAS AT NIGHT - WITH COPIUS AMOUNTS OF SEMEN!”

Dude is a GHOUL.

To make this murder even more tragic, the autopsy report showed that Irmgard Strehl was in the early stages of pregnancy. Her parents didn’t even know.

What an extra emotional uppercut for them to deal with. First, their nineteen year-old daughter goes missing. Then, possibly only hours later, they find out that she has been raped and murdered and also shit on. THEN, they find out in the next day or two, that she was also pregnant with their grandchild.

Damn. That makes any bad week I’ve ever had pale in comparison.

When the officers started to piece the little bits of evidence together, they believed that not only was the crime carried out by a group - but that it was a well organized and planned out act of sadism, certainly not the work of some intellectually challenged cow-fucker upset about his mom dying.

They had rudimentary blood and semen samples, but, in the 50s, DNA evidence was a LONG way from becoming part of criminal investigations.

In fact, DNA wouldn’t be used in a criminal investigation until 1986.

The best they could do at the time was identify the blood type and compare it against suspects, which, when you don’t HAVE suspects, is pretty useless.

Sixty-eight area sex offenders were rounded up and questioned and narrowed to a pool of 32 suspects who were then investigated further.

Kroll wasn’t amongst this group.

They would narrow the investigation down to one sex offender who they weren’t able to gather enough evidence on to charge, probably because he didn’t do it.

This cow-fucker would never be on the police radar for any murders outside of his last killing, the one that got him caught.

By the WAY - LOVE being able to call him a cowfucker and having it be an accurate descriptive term. It’s not often you get to tell a dark tale about a literal cowfucker.

According to later accounts, Joachim [yaw him] was never nervous about getting caught for this murder. He was overjoyed with what he’d done after this killing.

It was the first time he’d had sex with a human woman. She was no longer ALIVE when he had sex with her, but he was still very excited about the experience.

This new form of sexual release gave him a new sense of self- confidence and a feeling of power. He soon began to crave more.

Like many serial killers before and after him, Joachim [yaw him] had now entered into a horrific cycle of demented, sadistic sexual fantasies that he craved with growing intensity.

Fantasies he obsessed over.

Once he finally gave into his urges and scratched this new monstrous itch… the itch would just begin to grow once more, and the fantasies would build in their intensity all over again, leading towards another fatal release.

Fantasize, kill, repeat. https://murderpedia.org/male.K/k/kroll-Joachim [yaw him]- victims.htm

When not killing anyone, young Joachim [yaw him] becomes a popular figure in his neighborhood. At least with area children.

So that’s fun. When he’s not killing he’s handing out candy to the kiddies.

Seriously.

He made friends with many of the kids in the neighborhood around his small flat in a large apartment complex in Duisburg [ deese- boorg ]

He was known to always have a lil’ candy on him that’d hand it out to local youth. He did this so often he was given the nickname of “Uncle Joachim [yaw him]”.

He’s such a caricature of a creepy killer.

In one of the documentaries on this guy, the dramatic reenactment scenes seem poorly and lazily put together unless you know his story.

He’s portrayed as an unbelievably creepy looking dude in the documentary - a loner - working as the janitor - a little feeble looking, beady, shifty eyes, big Dumbo ears, always looks a little greasy. He never talks much to the adults and only seems to light up around kids who he gives candy.

The stereotypical image of the creepy pedophile/killer/rapist - and Joachim [yaw him] was ALL those things - is EXACTLY who Joachim [yaw him] was.

We’ve covered a lot of killers here who blended into to society really well, people who were really smart and manipulative, people whose communities were SHOCKED when they were apprehended.

No one was really shocked when Joachim [yaw him] was caught.

Some of them were SURPRISED. But not shocked.

He LOOKED EXACTLY like the kind of dude who did shit like this.

If you’re thinking, “What kind of dirtbag fucks cows and takes a shit on his rape and murder victim and hands out candy to kids?”

Look him up.

And when you see his picture, you’ll be like, “Oh. Oh, okay. Yeah that totally fits.”

He reminds me, out of the serial killers we’ve covered so far, as kind of a mashup of Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, and Albert Fish.

Mentally slow and kind of ghoulish momma’s boy like Gein.

Dahmer wasn’t super intelligent either and he shares Dahmer’s sexual depravity and, as we’ll explore soon, cannibalistic interests.

And he shared Fish’s cannibalistic interests and overall creepy sexual debauchery as well.

Uncle Yoachim [yaw him] would live in the same flat for many years, and fill it with dolls, toys and candy for the neighborhood kids who he would often invite in to play. He loved the attention, especially, from little girls in the neighborhood, who, in turn, loved his collection of child-sized dolls.

Unbeknownst to these little girls and their families, “Uncle Joachim [yaw him]” would use these dolls to practice strangling and fucking little girls when no one was around.

He also practiced strangling a number of blow-up sex dolls he also soon purchased.

Again. He is so CARTOONISHLY disturbing. When he’s not fucking cows he’s fucking children’s dolls.

I know it was a different time, but WHY? WHY would you ever let your little girl go play alone in this dude’s apartment.

I’m guessing those people weren’t nearly as familiar with tales of people like Joachim [yaw him] as I am. And I know they weren’t aware of the murder or the doll fucking but still.

One of the sources said that the parents of these kids thought of the little, dingy-looking brown-eyed man as being a rather sweet fellow who just wanted a family of his own and wasn’t able to have one. They pitied him. They just didn’t see him as a threat.

Some of them absolutely trusted him to go on walks with their young girls, and, despite what Kroll did to numerous other young girls who became victims of his hidden sadistic side, neighbor children always came home safely and happily, usually full of the sweets he would offer them.

At least until his final murder they always did.

Some neighbors felt that the time he spent lavishing affection and gifts on neighborhood children was all done in an effort to fill the lonely void his mother’s death had left in him.

That is NOT the conclusion I would make.

Anytime I meet an adult who seems more interested in hanging with the kids at a get together than the other adults - my dirtbag radar immediately goes off. MAYBE they’re just really good with kids. OR - maybe they want to fuck kids.

I’m probably overly paranoid but I’d rather be paranoid then negligent in this area.

Joachim [yaw him] himself would later say that he never harmed any children that he believed were his true friends.

Okay.

He said he looked at these little girls as his nieces and that they brought him joy and made him smile. And he never ever EVER thought about them when he was choking out his blow sex dolls or when he was choking and cumming on his toy dolls or when he was banging any number of cows.

GOSH DANG!

I made up the stuff at the end there. He never said that stuff about fantasizing about the neighborhood girls. Just said he thought of them as his nieces.

But I have to believe he thought some nasty stuff about him. And if you don’t already, by the end of this story, you will too.

8.1959: In 1959, fours years after the rape and murder of nineteen- year-old Irmgard, Kroll kills the second woman later definitively tied to him.

Most people familiar with his case seem to think he for sure killed others in this four-year window.

Two girls both named Erika, one only 12 years old, were raped and strangled in the area in this timeframe. Kroll just couldn’t remember killing them. Or at least claimed he couldn’t when he was arrested so many years later.

9.June 16, 1959: Kroll did remember Klara Frieda Tesmer though.

Klara was just 24 years old when she was raped and murdered in the meadows of the Rhine, near Rheinhausen.

She was another blonde like Irmgard. Kroll desired blondes most.

Maybe if he could’ve just found a sweet cow with hair like blonde bombshells Marilyn Monroe or Jean Harlow, maybe he would’ve never killed anyone. Maybe he would’ve been a reclusive farmer rumored to keep his bed in the barn.

Klara was simply out walking when Kroll came across her.

Years later, in his confession, Kroll said he approached her and then he grabbed her by the arm. He was hoping to walk off into the bushes and fool around, but for some crazy-doesn’t-make- sense- reason, she didn’t want to wander off into the weeds and fuck a weird looking creepy stranger in the dirt she’d met thirty seconds ago.

Women!!!

So hard to figure out!

Because she WASN’T crazy - Klara resisted and tried to pull away.

And this enraged Kroll, and he punched her in the head and knocked her down.

Then, when Kroll attempted to undress the stunned Klara, she fought back and the two rolled down a small incline, off the road and out of view.

And down there in the brush, Kroll strangled Klara to death.

Once she was dead, Kroll rapes her and this time only deposits a normal amount of semen on the crime scene. Must have been dehydrated or something. Or maybe he’d already had sex with his dolls a bunch of times that morning.

He decides to try something new with a lifeless human body.

He thinks, as only a psychopath can, that Klara looks positively delicious.

He then takes out a big knife he apparently always had with him, and he carved off pieces of flesh from her buttocks and thighs. He wrapped the meat in a piece of fabric ripped from her dress, and took it home with him, and then cooked her flesh up and ate her.

And then he probably fucked his blow up a doll a time or do and got a good night’s rest so he wouldn’t be too tired working his “toilet attendant” job the next day.

This all is so disturbing it doesn’t even seem real.

Klara’s body was later discovered by some young boys riding their bikes in the area.

Poor kids. How many nightmares did they have later?

Having no real reason to believe the murder of Klara was connected with the murder of Irmgard four years prior, investigators didn’t link the two crimes together and had no idea an active serial killer was responsible for both.

They DID believe this murder was the work of a serial killer though. Just a different one.

In their search for Klara’s killer, police zeroed in on Heinrich Ott, a 37-year-old mechanic, and he was arrested for her murder.

He’d been on police radar for awhile.

They'd had come to suspect him in a series of rapes and murders which had taken place in the surrounding area in the years preceding Klara’s death.

Perhaps he was guilty of some of the killings he was accused of committing, perhaps not. He was never found guilty of any murders.

Heinrich Ott committed suicide by hanging himself in his cell while waiting for his trial to begin, and this was all the proof law enforcement and her family needed to believe he was the killer at the time.

He’ll be the first of many men to take the fall for Joachim’s [yaw him] crimes.

Once again, that dirty ol’ cowfucker Joachim [yaw him] Kroll gets away with murder.

He also tastes human flesh for the first time that we know of.

His confidence and obsession with rape and murder grows, and he attacks again just a few weeks later.

10.July 26, 1959: On July 26th, 1959, a girl named Manuela Knodt, just sixteen years old, is found raped and strangled in a park in the nearby city of Essen, twenty miles away from where Klara Tesmer was killed.

Once again, slices of flesh have been carved from her buttocks and thighs. Meat Kroll took home and ate again.

ALSO once again, an enormous, COPIOUS amount of semen is found on the victim’s body.

SO CRINGEY!

So much semen is left at the crime scene, that local officials again think that more than one person had to have been involved.

Jesus.

How much could did this creep cum?

I so wish I could stop picturing gallons of semen at these crime scenes. Just this small, creepy little guy with cantaloupe sized balls- sprinkler-cumming all over the place.

I’m gonna make myself throw up.

(Joachim [yaw him] Journal entry)

Dearest Diary. Today is July 26th, 1959.

It vas a great day. Vent on a nice date vis a girl I meet in a park.

All of ze sexy four-legged cow lady sexing has really paid off.

It doesn’t matter how many times I premature ejaculate. Der is all-vays more. ALL-VAYS more semen. It’s like all of my insides are nuh-zing but semen.”

Again, no connection is made between this crime and any of Kroll’s other murders. Also again, someone else is blamed.

11. February 23, 1960: Seven months later, on February 23rd, 1960, for reasons that are never really explained, 23-year-old Horst Otto walks into a police station and confesses to the murder of Manuela.

I’m guessing he was mentally ill.

He’s arrested and charged with the murder, and although he quickly withdraws his confession, he’s convicted and serves five years in prison before being released in April of 1965 after a series of appeals.

Kroll is the KING of other people getting blamed for his murders.

12. 1960: In 1960, Kroll moved into a new apartment at 24 Friesen Street in Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ], working a new janitorial job for Thyssen [tiss un] Industries, a huge German industrial engineering and steel production company based in Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ].

Kroll will remain here until his arrest many years later.

He also will be warned by his landlord that if he’s ever caught bringing young girls into his apartment again, as neighbors complained he’d done on two occasions, he’ll be kicked out.

Apparently some people back then WERE onto ol’ “Uncle Joachim [yaw him]”. Not everyone trusted this dude.

13. April 23, 1962:

On April 23rd, 1962, in all likelihood, Kroll strikes again.

Petra Giese was killed on Easter Monday in a forest, north of Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] .

The thirteen-year-old was strangled and raped, and her dead body left in the bushes.

She had been visiting a nearby carnival with a friend and had become separated from her.

Kroll led her into the woods.

Her body was found the day after she was killed by a search party.

Just like with multiple other Kroll victims, some of her flesh had been removed. She was missing both buttocks, as well as her left arm. She’d been raped and, also, and I’m not making this up to make this episode extra obscene, again - a preposterous amount of semen for one man is found.

Anddddddd AGAIN - someone else took the fall for this crime.

Fifty-two-year-old Vinzenze Kuehn, a single man who worked as a miner, was arrested for Petra's murder.

Why Kuehn?

For starters, the small car he drove - a Glas Isar, no idea if I’m saying that right, the only Youtube videos I found where it was talked about were in Russian and German and everything they said sounded roughly the same to me - this odd looking little car was the kind a farmer claimed to have seen the day of the murder, near the spot where Petra’s body was found.

Checking motor vehicle records, police discovered that only 522 of these vehicles were owned in the area. Of that number, all of the vehicle owners had alibis that were verified and their whereabouts at the time were accounted for—all except for Vinzenze Kuehn.

Also - Kuehn had a criminal record, one that made him seem a likely suspect for the type of crime with which he stood accused.

He was a convicted sex offender who’d already spent time behind bars for molesting young girls. So I don’t feel too bad for him getting blamed for this murder.

In his previous crimes, Kuehn had developed a method he used repeatedly. He’d waited for girls in parks and other places were kids hung out, girls, places where their parents wouldn’t be with them.

He’d lure girls to a private area with candy, and if that did not work, he’s offer them money, and then’d he try talking them into taking off their panties and allowing him to give them lessons in masturbation. And then he’d masturbate.

He was a sick fuck. Maybe not quite as sick as Uncle Joachim [yaw him] but still a very sick fuck.

And now the police assumed he’d escalated from masturbation to murder.

Some criminal psychologists were consulted, and they stated that they thought it was very possible for a man who engaged in the type of perverse behavior with young girls that Kuehn had already been convicted of, to potentially “get carried away and end up a rapist and murderer.” They theorized that Kuehn had lost control of himself, raped Petra, and upon realizing what he had done, attempted to cover up his actions by murdering and mutilating her to make law enforcement believe these were the actions of some sadistic sex murderer.

Someone like Joachim [yaw him] Kroll.

Kuehn was charged with the rape, murder, and mutilation of Petra Giese.

Faced with no evidence he had committed the crime other than not having an alibi and being a convicted pervert, the jury found him guilty.

He was sentenced to twelve years in prison, along with a regimen of psychiatric treatments designed to, “rid him of his unnatural interest in little girls and convert him into a useful member of society.”

So ridiculous to me.

I know he was actually innocent of this crime, but, if a justice system convicts someone of raping, killing, and carving up the body of a little girl, how can that same justice system ACTUALLY think that person can ever become a useful member of society?

(Politician) “Gunther USED to rape, kill, and carve up little girls, but not anymore!

NOW - he’s an Olympic swim coach with three gold medalists under his tutelage who also started a very successful nonprofit dedicated to providing scholarships to underprivileged youth - and I’d let him babysit my kids anytime!”

Get the fuck out of here!

I wonder how many people who are in favor of rehabilitating these type of people WOULD actually let them babysit their own kids or grandkids?

I’m guessing zero or damn near zero.

Kuehn’s psychiatric treatments ended when he was released from prison six years later, having served only half his sentence.

And this guy a jury totally believed raped and killed and sliced up a thirteen year old - a guy who WAS ALREADY a convicted pedophile before being found guilty of that crime - was sent back out into society after six years.

Super cool.

Police believe he continued his pursuit of young girls after his release, but no additional victims ever came forward.

14.June 4, 1962: Just six weeks after the murder that sent another man to prison, Cowfucker Kroll kills again.

Before we go over the details of another heinous murder, time for a quick sponsor break. A welcome escape from the darkness.

MIDROLL PAUSE HERE

And now we are back in June of 1962. Twenty-nine year-old Joachim [yaw him] Kroll has been killing in Germany for over seven years now.

On June 4th, 1962, Monika Tafel, just 12 years old, was killed just outside her hometown of Walsum, just a bit north of Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ].

She was killed in much the same way as Petra Giese and those before her.

Monika’s body was discovered seven days later, on June 11th, by a police helicopter.

Her body, like many other Kroll victims, wasn’t hidden. Her remains were lying on the ground in a part of the forest search parties had to explore.

Monika had been strangled to death before being stripped naked, raped, and masturbated over.

Although not stated with this crime, guessing a more than healthy amount of semen was found.

As with prior victims, parts of her flesh had been stripped away, including the buttocks.

But - NO connection was made with prior cases.

The local authorities just weren’t in contact with the Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] police department just 14 kilometers - less than 10 miles - away.

Law enforcement departments just didn’t communicate with each other very often back then.

If they had, perhaps the similarities between Monika’s murder and at least THREE other girls who’d been raped, strangled, and had flesh cut from their bodies would’ve been discovered.

Authorities already had a suspect for Monika’s murder and - you guessed it - it wasn’t Kroll.

The King!

The KING of other people getting blamed for his murders.

This time, the murder was blamed on a local thirty-four-year-old steel worker, Walter Quicker.

Quicker was a dude suspected to be a perv known for having an “unnatural interest” in little girls.

He was taken in as a suspect by police after witnesses came forward to say they’d seen him in the company of a young girl on the day of Monika’s murder.

Quicker vehemently denied the allegations, and then authorities produced information showing him that he was known in his community for possessing an unnatural interest young girls, and that some of his actions in the past had made his fellow townspeople suspicious.

And then Quicker ADMITTED he was fond of girls.

But he insisted his fondness was not of a sexual nature.

He said he’d always wanted a daughter, he told police, but he and his wife were unable to have one, thus he lavished attention on other people’s little girls.

I GUESS that’s possible.

But if some grown ass man I’d didn’t know was trying to hang out with my twelve year old daughter, because he couldn’t have kids of his own and just wanted some little girl to dote on, I’m still gonna tell him to fuck off.

Go find some other vicarious daughter.

I’m not rolling the pedo-dice.

To Quicker’s credit - police questioned dozens of young girls in Walsum, and every single one of them denied that Walter Quicker had ever behaved inappropriately with them. Not one single child had a bad word to say about Quicker.

This ruined the case against him for the police, who then had to release him from custody.

Being released did NOT stop the townspeople from persecuting him and deciding to punish him since law enforcement didn’t.

Following his release, his wife divorces him on the grounds that she could not stand the disgrace of “being married to a child molester.”

Yikes.

That looks bad. You would think his wife would know his intentions. She would obviously know if they’d been trying to have a daughter or not. She’d know if he was torn up about it. And if she knew that, why would she suddenly suspect him of being a molester. Again - this a real bad look.

People began to jeer and spit at Quicker on the street, and shopkeepers refused to serve him.

When he left his house, youngsters would run behind him and ask how many little girls he’d raped that day.

Then - on October 5th, 1962, just five months after Monika Tafel’s murder, Walter Quicker walked into the forest with a clothesline, and hung himself near the very same spot Monika’s body had been found.

And all this did was keep police off the trail of Joachim [yaw him] Kroll. Everyone was now POSITIVE that Quicker did it.

And if he really was just a dude who wished he had a little girl of his own - how incredibly sad.

When Joachim [yaw him] Kroll read about this in the news, he celebrated by fucking three cows in a nearby field.

Had himself a nice little bovine orgy, than drank some REAL fresh milk, hurried home, spooned one of his dolls, and slept like a creepy baby.

Kidding of course.

I’m pretty sure Joachim [yaw him] was illiterate. Not kidding about that. HE would later admit to having NO idea all these other dudes were taking the fall for his crimes.

How extra strange.

Joachim [yaw him] was now, in addition to the murders, guilty of sending three guys into jail cells for crimes they didn’t commit, one of those dudes kills himself in jail. And then another guy kills himself after the court of public opinion convicts him of killing someone Kroll actually killed.

15.September 3rd, 1962: The month before Walter Quicker’s suicide, in September of 1952, Joachim [yaw him] attacked his next known victim.

A twelve-year old girl named Barbara Bruder vanished on September 3rd from Burscheid-Klein-Hamberg, just a bit south of Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ].

Kroll later said that, just like with the others, he’d strangled and raped her.

She was on her way to a playground in Lützenkirchen when she disappeared, and her body was never found.

What else did he do to her? That information is not available, but I have to imagine, probably the same horrible shit I just informed you that he did to previous victims.

It would be three years before Kroll definitely killed again.

Upon his arrest, he would state that after murdering Monika, the next murder he could remember was not until 1965.

HOWEVER - investigators believe there were likely more murders during these years that will likely never be pinned on Kroll.

Kroll would tell investigators that too much time had passed, and he just simply couldn’t remember killing anyone.

How crazy if that’s true?

That killing was such a casual and common thing for Kroll that he could forget how many people he killed like you can’t remember what you had for lunch two weeks ago.

Kroll DID remember the murder in 1965, he said, because it was the only time he killed a man. And he only killed a man because he got in the way of him trying to kill a woman.

16.August 22, 1965: On August 22nd, 1965, twenty-five year-old Hermann Schmitz and his eighteen-year-old fiancé, Marion Veen, were parked at a lover’s lane in Grossenbaum, just south of Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] .

The area had originally been a large rock quarry, but after the pit was no longer needed, it was filled with water and formed an artificial lake.

Along the shore of this fake lake, under an autumn moon, these two young love-birds were enjoying a little make out session

And then a dirty lil’ German cow-fucker showed up and did a lot more than just ruin their night.

Kroll had left his apartment that Sunday night around six and arrived by tram in Grossenbaum approximately three hours later, clearly looking for someone to violate and kill. Looking to satisfy his dark desires.

Kroll had exited the tram and started following various women and girls along the streets of the town, hoping for an opportunity to present itself, like the super creep he was.

Then, he remembered the gravel-pit lake, having visited it before and making a mental note that young couples parked there to fool around.

He’d probably deposited “copious amounts of semen” around his apartment thinking about those young lovers.

Kroll also remembered - and I’m not making this up - that he used to jerk off near this lake.

He used to sneak into the area at night, and indulge some voyeuristic fantasies, hiding in the bushes near cars where people were fooling around, and beating off while he watched and listened.

Dude.

If you based a character in a movie on this guy, it wouldn’t be believable. It would be too over-the-top.

(frustrated movie watcher) “I didn’t really like the movie. It wasn’t believable.

Like, I GET it. He’s a deranged creep. He has beady eyes and big ears and always looks kind of greasy. Too much. That’s not what happens in real life.

And - I didn’t need to see him sneaking out into a pasture to fuck all those cows.

AND I certainly didn’t need for him to leave a pool of semen at the crime scene.

And then he ALSO lures kids into his apartment with candy? AND chokes his blowup doll?

AND jerks off in the bushes at the make-out spot. C’mon! That’s just lazy writing!”

This night in August of 1965, Kroll originally intended to just jerk off in the bushes again.

But then, according to what he later told officers, he got himself himself worked up into such a frenzy that mere masturbation wasn’t gonna cut it.

When he observed the twenty-five-year-old and his young fiancé, Kroll decided he need to rape and kill Marion. He was really, really, REALLY attracted to her.

But first - he had to do something about Hermann.

He had to find a way to eliminate him from the equation.

Hoping this would lure Hermann outside of his car, he used the large pocket knife he always carried around to stab his right front tire.

Kroll hoped Hermann would try and change the tire, and then maybe need to walk somewhere to get help, and that he would ALSO leave Marion in the car alone when he did this, and THEN - Kroll could get her.

And if you’re like, “That’s a terrible plan.” - you’re right.

Again - he’s intellectually challenged. He was far from a criminal mastermind.

Instead of leaving the car, Hermann began to drive away.

And then, had Hermann been more familiar with the area, as Kroll was, his life might have been spared.

Unfortunately, Hermann missed his turn and drove directly into a dead end road less than a hundred yards from where he was parked.

When Hermann turned his car around and started to drive back to where he’d been parked, Kroll was now standing in the road, and he waved him down.

And REALLY unfortunately, Hermann didn’t see Kroll as a threat.

He saw scruffy little man with shabby clothes and an unshaved face who must need to some help.

Hermann was a big man with a large athletic build and Kroll barely stood to his shoulder.

Kroll’s height isn’t listed anywhere, but, based on pictures and videos I found that show him standing side by side with other people, I’d put him at around 5’4 to 5’6”, and at maybe around 130 pounds.

When Hermann pulled up to Kroll, he got out of the car to see what the matter was.

Marion, watching through the windshield as her fiancé approached the stranger, saw the two men exchange a few words, and then she suddenly saw something bright and metallic flash in the stranger’s hand.

As soon as Hermann got within reach of Kroll, Uncle Joachim [yaw him] stabbed him several times.

Her eyes wide with terror, Marion watched the love of her life being stabbed repeatedly as the blood flew from the knife’s sharp surface in long darts of crimson.

Kroll was beyond excited that he was pulling this off.

As Hermann fell to the ground and began to pass out - blood pouring out of his body rapidly, Kroll focused his attention on Marion.

Thinking quickly, Marion jumped into the driver’s seat and drove full-speed directly at Kroll, who barely managed to jump out of the way in time, landing in some of his jerk-off bushes.

Marion then somehow jammed a hairclip into the car horn, causing it to blare continuously.

Kroll - shocked by his first encounter with a victim who fought back like Marion did - panicked and fled off into the darkness on foot.

Poor Marion then leapt out of the car and rushed over to Hermann, who now lay surrounded by a pool of his own blood.

The postmortem conducted later showed the first stab had pierced his heart.

He was still barely alive when Marion sank to her knees beside him on the dirt road and gently lifted his head onto her lap. Struggling in his last fleeting moments of life to speak to the woman he adored, all that ushered forth from his mouth was a final gasp.

When a couple responding to her blaring car horn arrived, they found Marion cradling Hermann’s lifeless body, the front of her dress saturated with his blood.

Hermann Schmitz would be Kroll’s only male victim. At least the only one he actually killed himself.

Grossenbaum was a part of the Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] police district, and area officers quickly responded to the scene.

Unfortunately, they didn’t have many clues to work with.

Marion’s description of the assailant wasn’t great because she’d only briefly seen his face in the headlights.

The police WERE able to collect casts of the shape of the knife from the wounds in Hermann Schmitz’s chest, but until they had a knife to compare them with, this wouldn’t do the investigators much good.

Police brought in several men previously known to frequent lover’s lane and spy on couples, but none of those men matched Marion’s description.

And when questioned, none panned out as possible suspects.

Not knowing anything about Kroll and his motive for the murder, police theorized that perhaps it was perpetrated by a jealous ex- lover of either Hermann or Marion.

Friends of the couple were brought in and were also questioned about anyone who might have had reason to want Hermann dead.

No one could think of someone like that.

When all of this led exactly nowhere, the case quickly made its way to the cold case files.

Joachim [yaw him] Kroll was still free to murder again. And on no law enforcement radar.

17.September 13, 1966: Kroll’s next confirmed kill occurred just over a year later on September 13th, 1966.

It was a Tuesday afternoon, and when Kroll was done with work, he boarded a train and travelled to the town of Marl, approximately forty miles northeast of Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ], where he immediately began his now normal routine of prowling the streets in pursuit of a victim.

Around seven o’clock, after not finding anyone that gave him any funny feelings, he decided to go to a local park, Foersterbusch park, where he hid in the bushes.

OF COURSE he hid in the bushes in the park. This dirty cowfucker is TOO MUCH. A real life over-the-top after-school special.

A creepy looking rapist and murderer hiding in the bushes at the park. Waiting to get rid of his funny feelings by depositing a copious amount of semen on another victim.

After fondling himself in the bushes for awhile, he got really, really horny.

He became so aroused, he decided to attack the next female who passed by, regardless of her age or looks.

Just then, twenty-year-old Ursula Rohling began to walk through the park.

She'd been at the Capri Ice Cream Parlour earlier that evening, where she’d met up with her fiancé, twenty-seven-year-old Adolf Schickel.

These poor bastards.

They’d just spent an hour and-a-half discussing their upcoming nuptials.

When it began to grow dark, Ursula decided to head home, and the shortest route would take her through Foersterbusch Park and right into the waiting arms of Kroll.

So sad.

Enjoying ice cream and talking about her wedding with her fiancé one minute, being attacked by Kroll a few minutes later.

And this is what Kroll later told police happened that night. He said:

“I saw this woman in the park. She was young, with short hair. I spoke to her. Then I grabbed her around the neck with my right arm and dragged her into the bushes. I threw her on the ground on her back and choked her.”

Asked why he immediately began to choke her when what he really wanted to do was rape her, Kroll replied,

“She could have fought me. Then I couldn’t have done it. Anyway, she could have told it was me. I choked her until she stopped moving. Then I took off her pants and other things and I did it to her. I left her lying there and took the train back to Duisburg [ deese- boo rg ] . When I got home, I was still hot and I had it with the doll and did it with my hand a couple of times.”

This guy was so damn horny.

I bet he banged that doll out several times a day every day.

I feel like whatever adults ever walked into his apartment, they had to have thought: “Man it stinks in here. What is that smell? Is that old cum? I think it is. This place REEKS of so much old cum.”

Might as well note here that, unlike many serial killers, Kroll wasn’t interested in his victims once he was done with them, nor the media coverage, or the investigation of the murders.

One reason why it was difficult for Kroll to later remember all of his crimes, was because he took so little interest in his victims. He rarely knew their names and seemed to have little or no fear police would one day learn his.

It’s like his intellectual limits helped him in some ways.

If there was a movie about Kroll, there would be no scene of someone walking into his apartment and coming across newspaper clippings about a bunch of murdered women. There would be no scene where people were talking about a recent murder victim and he perked up to listen or joined the conversation. No scene of police seeing him return to the site of one of his kills.

Nope.

He satisfied his sexual urge, then left the area, and then just went on about his day as if nothing had ever happened.

If Kroll had checked the newspapers the next day, he would have discovered that nothing was reported about the death of Ursula Rohling.

Ursula was not even initially reported as missing.

Her parents, upon realizing their daughter had not returned home from her meeting with Adolf Schickel, first called him, and then the police.

And then her body was found two days later by a park employee.

And the strange, terrible pattern of someone else being blamed for Kroll’s murders continued.

A THIRD man will soon kill himself for being blamed for one of his Kroll’s crimes.

Ursula’s fiancé Adolf Schickel was suspected of her murder and taken into custody.

This poor son of a bitch.

He was held under continuous interrogation for three weeks.

His story never wavered.

He told police that after he and Ursula met at the ice cream shop, she had set off for home alone, and he went to his place.

For three long weeks, he repeated the same phrases, “Why would I kill Ursula? I loved her. We were going to get married. Why would I do such a thing?”

The police - and I find this a little odd, but whatever - they thought his motive was sex. They thought he raped his fiancé because she wanted to wait until marriage for sex and he didn’t want to wait any longer.

This accusation ignored the facts of the case.

The postmortem had concluded that Ursula had been raped AFTER she was killed, and friends informed police that Ursula and Adolf were already known to have been having sex, often spending the night together.

Despite this information, police still believed Adolf had murdered his fiancé, and only released him from custody once they realized they had no evidence and legal grounds that would allow them to hold him any longer.

Like Walter Quicker before him, Adolf Schickel now dealt with police and townspeople alike still believing he was guilty of rape and murder.

Adolf was persecuted and ostracized, eventually leaving Marl because of all the negative attention.

Then, on January 4th, 1967, less than four months after his fiancé’s murder, depressed by Ursula’s death and all the horrible accusations against him, Adolf drowned himself in a river.

The curse of Joachim [yaw him] Kroll claims another victim.

While Adolf is growing more and more suicidal leading to his drowning death, Joachim [yaw him] Kroll is preparing to kill again.

He’s forgotten all about Ursula and is hunting for a new victim. A very, very young victim.

18.December 22, 1966: On December 22nd, 1966, just three days before she was going to unwrap her presents, little five-year-old Illona Harke is found dead.

Her death was the result of some of Kroll’s spur-of-the-moment morbid curiosity.

Kroll simply wondered one day what it would be like to drown someone.

So, he abducted a little girl from Essen - 15 miles East of Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ]

He might have gained her trust with some candy or a doll, the same way he’d won over his neighbors’ daughters. He couldn’t remember.

He took her on a train 23 miles South to Wuppertal.

And there, he walked her over to a river and drowned her.

And then he raped her body and cut several pounds of flesh from her shoulders and buttocks to take home to eat.

You know, at one point in the research of Kroll, I thought, “Am I gonna feel a bad about making fun of him because of his low IQ?”

But then I read details like this, and thought - “Nope. Not at all.”

He was plenty smart enough to know that drowning an innocent five year old was beyond wrong. And he did it anyway just to sexually satisfy himself.

Fuck Joachim [yaw him] Kroll.

June 22, 1967:

Six months later, on June 22nd, 1967, one of Kroll’s victims escaped with her life - an extremely rare occurrence.

That 1967 summer’s day - the hippie “summer of love” a world away in San Francisco - ten-year-old Gabriele Puettmann almost had her light snuffed out by a monster.

She didn’t live terribly far from Kroll and she’d seen him before and knew him as “Uncle Joachim [yaw him].”

She’d been given a candy bar or two by creepy Kroll before.

It was a Thursday. Kroll had taken some sick leave from work to do some human hunting, and Gabriele had just gotten done with her day’s classes.

Kroll had always, up until this point, exercised extreme caution in who he preyed upon and when - he wasn’t that stupid, he knew exactly how wrong what he was doing was and he was careful to take precautions to not get caught.

This mild afternoon in June, however, Kroll must have either cast these worries aside or assumed that nobody knew he had gone on a walk with Gabriele.

Kroll ran into Gabrielle that day - not by coincidence I’m guessing - and walked with her as she walked home from school.

During their stroll, they passed next to a field of wheat, and they reached a place where nobody else was in sight.

Kroll took Gabriele by the hand and led her out into the middle of the field, telling her he had something to show her.

Once they were away from anybody who might stumble upon them, Kroll took out a collection of pornographic cartoons.

Gabriele would later say she was confused at first about what the people in the drawings were doing, but then it slowly sunk in and she got really embarrassed and uncomfortable. She actually covered her eyes with her hands.

Then, she felt Kroll’s hand rest on her shoulder.

Freaked out, she started to get up and run away and then Kroll grabbed her and wrestled her to the ground.

All the wrestling! Echoes of Chikatilo here.

(Chikatilo) “He not so bad! He would make fine wrassle coach! What is big deal? He just like to wrassle more than average bear.”

Kroll put his hands around her neck and started to choke her.

And then, making me think of the phrase “timing is everything”, a bunch of sirens started howling all around them… the nearby coal mine was having a shift change, and the area was suddenly swarmed with miners returning home.

Kroll, scared he was about to get caught, let go of Gabrielle who was by that time unconscious, and he snuck away thinking she was dead.

Nope.

She woke up in the field and then hurried home and didn’t speak of the incident until years later after Kroll was caught.

She was careful after this incident to never go near “Uncle Joachim [yaw him]” again.

When his story broke in the news, imagine how lucky she must have felt to have avoided the terrible fate of so many other girls who ended up in a secluded area with no around but “Uncle Joachim [yaw him]”

19. July 12, 1969: Joachim [yaw him] claimed he didn’t try and kill again for two years after this close call.

Maybe those sirens really spooked him.

He’d strike again on July 12th, 1969. And he’d kill his oldest victim by far.

That day, sixty-one-year-old Maria Hettgen died at his hands.

Kroll took another little trip from Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] to Essen by train, then took a bus to nearby Werden for a stroll on the banks of Baldeney Lake.

While walking around the lake, he ran into Hettgen, and got a another one of his “funny feelings.”

He started talking to this poor woman and made some sort of creepy and crude sexual advance.

She declined his offer, and then he got mad and punched her in the head.

He wrestled her into some bushes where he proceeded to rape and strangle her.

And then he went home and fucked his blow up doll and beat off a few more times.

What else has he been up these past few years?

Besides killing and raping and eating human flesh and cleaning toilets and giving candy to kids and beating off and leaving copious amounts of semen all over the place and probably fucking a cow every now and again?

Not much.

He didn’t seem to have any close friends. His adult siblings apparently didn’t have anything to do with him. He didn’t date. He didn’t hang out with any coworkers. He sometimes got a new caretaking job. In 1970, he got a job cleaning toilets in a local steel mill that paid more than the previous one.

He spoke very, very little after his eventual arrest and there are very few details available anywhere about his personal life.

And I don’t think that’s because he did a bunch of stuff that failed to make the papers. I just don’t think there WERE many details to his private life.

He worked, he watched TV, he beat off A LOT, he choked and fucked his dolls a bunch, he bought a lot of candy and toys to try and lure kids with, and he took the train to various areas within around an hour of Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] to go on murder walks to look for women and girls to rape and kill, and that’s it.

And I guess he got other people to take the fall for his crimes. But that was just accidental and I don’t even think he even knew that was happening.

He didn’t have some other cover life like a lot of other serial killers. He worked and then went home and did creepy shit. And he did that for two decades.

Oh - he did do at least one other thing that came up in a documentary.

At some point during all this madness - a date is never assigned - Kroll gets himself a pet.

He finds a stray cat at work and feeds and befriends it and he ends up taking it home.

He’d later say he really, really liked this cat. But then, he started wondering, as psychopathic monsters sometimes do, what the cat would look like, “from the inside.”

And then, one day when he was petting it, he started to have his “funny feelings.”

And so he choked the cat out, masturbated over its dead body, then chopped it up and cooked some of it. And then he decided he didn’t care for the taste of cat and he never took another pet home.

So uh… yeah.

Did all of that really surprise anyone? I doubt it. It would be surprising if he just fed it and petted it and took great care of it for a long time.

Let’s move on.

20. May 21, 1970:

And on May 21st, 1970, now thirty-seven year-old Joachim [yaw him] Kroll killed yet again.

That Spring day, thirteen-year-old Jutta Rahn was attacked by Kroll on her way home from school on a rainy Thursday afternoon near where Hermann Schmitz had been stabbed and killed back in 1965.

Kroll spotted her at the railway station and followed her into the woods.

Grabbing the young girl and dragging her deeper into the forest, he strangled her to death, removed her clothing and raped her dead body, then - Kroll being Kroll - he masturbated over it.

Then Kroll was struck by the odd feeling that perhaps she was still alive and he used her bra to strangle her again.

Jutta’s father and neighbors started looking for her within the hour.

They searched for six hours after she failed to return home from school and heartbreakingly, her dad was the one who found her nude, lifeless corpse where Kroll had left it.

What a terrible, terrible tragedy. I wish Kroll’s story ended here with her dad then finding Kroll and bashing in his tiny, disgusting cowfucker brain with a rock or something.

Also - now for the SIXTH TIME - someone is blamed for committing one of Kroll’s murders.

SIX TIMES!!

Neighbor Peter Schay is now arrested for Jutta’s murder.

The only evidence against him was that his blood type matched Kroll’s blood type, he didn’t have a good alibi, he new Jutta, and the cops thought he was, I don’t know, creepy I guess.

He spends 15 months in police custody for Jutta’s murder before finally being released due to a lack of evidence. He’ll be taunted for being a child killer around town until Kroll is finally arrested six years later.

The KING!

The KING of other people getting blamed for his murders. I’ve never heard of this happening anywhere NEAR this often in any other serial killer story.

MAYBE once or twice. Not SIX times. And three times - the guy who didn’t do it killed himself. FOUR TIMES so far - dudes spent time in prison for murders Kroll committed.

For the next six years, Kroll would state after his eventual arrest, that he did not commit any more murders.

The police didn’t buy it.

Six years is a long time for a sexually-motivated killer to go without giving into his deviant urges.

During these six years, there were fifteen unsolved sex murders in the Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] area, mostly children, that matched Kroll’s modus operandi.

However, Kroll adamantly insisted he went clean for those six years and got by with only masturbation and his treasured sex doll.

Who knows.

Maybe he met a nice Holstein in late 1970 and things got serious.

Maybe he decided to be a one cow kind of dude for awhile.

As ridiculous as I’m being, I wouldn’t be that surprised if that really happened. He’s so insane.

21. 1973: In 1973, now 40 year-old Kroll develops problems with the blood vessels in his legs. His mobility is reduced and he has a noticeable limp that lasts for the rest of his life.

Doctors think chronic, overly aggressive masturbation may have led to his leg troubles.

He apparently masturbated so frequently, it actually permanently altered his circulatory system. Over the years, he had so many sustained erections, his body began to direct more and more blood flow to his penis and less and less to his legs.

By the time they arrested him, Kroll’s legs only received about 40% of normal leg blood flow, and the vein on his penis shaft was bigger than his carotid artery.

His testicles also required an atypical amount of blood flow to keep up with ejaculation demands.

By the time he was in prison, his overall genital blood flow was over 600% that of a normal man, and he could shoot two gallons of semen over fifteen feet during an orgasm that would last anywhere from three to fifteen minutes.

ANDDDDD…… none of that is true.

Other than him having leg problems that slowed him down and gave him a limp. That part is true.

22. May 8, 1976: Despite his new disability, Kroll would kill again.

The next time he definitely struck was May 8th, 1976.

That day, he killed ten year-old Karin Toepfer on her way to school.

She was strangled and raped by Kroll in the same manner he’d killed and raped so many other victims.

After his arrest later, he would actually admit to this murder, but he would NOT be convicted cut to a lack of convincing evidence.

Two months later, Kroll would kill for the final time. He would be found guilty for this murder. There was a preposterous amount of gruesome evidence.

Perhaps due to the pain in his legs making it harder for him to travel, he killed a girl he’d been seen with many, many times before. A girl who lived in his apartment building. A girl who would also be his youngest known victim.

23. July 3, 1976: On July 3rd, 1976, four-year-old Marion Ketter goes missing.

It was a hot afternoon, and the young blonde girl, due to the heat, was only wearing panties when she disappeared from outside her apartment building.

She lived just a few doors down from Kroll and she was outside playing in the communal grassy courtyard of the apartments.

Her mother realized at about 4 o’clock that Marion had gone missing and she searched the area and spoke with some of the other children who were out playing with her. No one knew where she’d went.

Her mom called the police who also spoke with the children. Police then went door-to-door in the apartment building, and they even dropped by Kroll’s apartment, where everything at first appeared to be in order.

The next day, one of Kroll’s neighbors, Oscar Muller, went to use a building bathroom he shared with Kroll.

As he went up the stairs, he ran into Kroll, who was coming down and Kroll said to him, “I would not use the toilet if I were you, it’s all stopped up.”

When Oscar asked him what was stopping it up, Kroll simply replied, “Guts.”

Yikes!

After this strange exchange, Kroll simply disappeared into his apartment.

Oscar then decided to go and see what was actually wrong with the toilet.

He hadn’t taken Kroll’s statement very seriously and thought it might be some kind of twisted joke.

But then, when he approached the toilet, he saw what indeed looked like flesh and “guts” in the bowl and the water was red with blood.

Kroll wasn’t kidding.

Oscar wondered if the toilet was full of pieces of the little girl who’d gone missing from the building the day before.

Unfortunately, he was right.

He rushed outside to the street and approached the nearest police officer and told him what he’d seen.

The officer wrenched the porcelain bowl from its mount and dumped the contents into a bucket.

Inside the bucket there was a pair of small lungs, kidneys, a liver, and a heart, along with some flesh.

My God.

How that sight must have haunted those dudes for the rest of their lives.

Some officers then made their way back to Kroll’s apartment and banged on his door.

When Kroll answered, he made no attempt to try and stop the officers from entering.

Once inside, the police looked around at a scene that should only exist in some super fucked up horror movie. They saw what remained of Marion’s little body laying chopped up on the kitchen table.

They also saw a stew simmering on the stove with a tiny hand floating amidst the vegetables.

Upon closer inspection, they found her entrails clogging the sink, and - in the refrigerator - they found portions of the little girl’s flesh laid out onto several plates, as though they were pre-planned meals.

Wow.

Dude was so casual about all of this. Kroll never seemed shook up by any of this. Never expressed a hint of remorse. Just had little girl steaks in his fridge like that was no big deal.

In the freezer, they found even more body parts. More meal planning.

Kroll had strangled his neighbor, masturbated over her body, butchered her and prepared to eat her.

Joachim [yaw him] was, of course, arrested.

He went along willingly and without protest.

He later said he didn’t think he was going to go to prison for all this.

Here’s where his low IQ shows up again.

This crazy cow-fucker actually thought he was going to be given some sort of surgical procedure which would relieve him of his bloodthirsty desires and make him normal, and that, after being caught eating a little girl he’d just murdered, they were just gonna let him go back home.

AND - I have to say, there is a surgical procedure for that. It’s called a several bullets to the brain.

100% cure rate.

No rapist, murderer, and pedophile has ever, to my knowledge, been shot 5-10 times in the head at point blank range, and then gone back to being a dirty cowfucking deviant.

Maybe I should feel sorry for him here, but I don’t. Being slow doesn’t make him less guilty. He knew what he did was wrong. Doesn’t bring any of his victims back.

Once in jail, due to this belief that he was going to get his special operation and then be released, Kroll confessed to a total of fourteen murders to the police, though he said there may have been more or less because he couldn’t remember clearly.

HOWEVER - he couldn’t remember who all ofnthese 14 victims were.

He did explain why he killed. As best he could.

He explained that his murderous desires started when, as a teenager, he saw that pig being slaughtered. He was aroused by all the blood.

He also admitted that he couldn’t maintain an erection with a woman - at least, not when she was conscious - which was why he took to raping his dead victims.

He also confessed he had tried human flesh “on a whim,” and liked it.

And that he then began to choose victims based on who he thought looked “tasty”. Jesus.

He also said that he engaged in cannibalism partially to save money on groceries, because the price of meat was so high.

First time I’ve heard that reasoning ever.

“Why did you eat your victims?”

“So I wouldn’t go hungry! Have you seen the price of beef lately? Lady steak is just cheaper than beef steak. The damn economy! THAT’S why I did all this.”

He also told officers that he when he’d come home from committing a murder, he’d still be aroused, and he’d have sex with and masturbate over his rubber doll, strangling it while doing so, reenacting his crimes.

He also said he sometimes dressed his sex doll up in clothes from his victims.

But he couldn’t remember names would lead to victim identification and officers grew impatient and angry with him, and then he shut down and refused to speak.

In order to get him to talk again, officers had to play little kids games with him and pretend to be his friend.

They had to be nice to him. And then he opened back up and tried to give them more information.

But he kept confusing many of the facts.

He still couldn’t remember victims’ names, but he claimed could remember the time and place where he’d committed murders.

So the police decided to try something super unorthodox to definitively solve his crimes.

They decided to let him take them to the scenes of his previous murders, and then, using a female police officer, he would dramatically reenact his own murders.

And then, they’d show him a picture of a woman whose body had been found in that location, and if he as like, “Yup. That was her.” Boom. Another case solved.

There is actually footage of this online because the German media was obsessed with Kroll’s story. And the police allowed journalists to convince them to take them along for Kroll’s murder reenactments to show that they were in fact solving a lot of cold cases.

The media went along and recorded the reenactment of the murder of Kroll’s second victim, Klara Tesmer, using, again, a police woman as a stand-in.

What in the fuck?

It is so disturbing to watch this. Kroll acts out grabbing the woman and taking her to the ground, and then the two roll down the hill.

She lets him put his hands on her throat. His body his pressed up against hers. I’m guessing she could feel his boner.

Can you imagine if some female officer were asked to do this today?

(Police Chief) “Hey Susan! Got a new assignment for ya.”

(Susan) “Yeah, chief?”

(Police Chief) “You know the guy we just brought in who we suspect strangled, raped, and then ate 14 women?”

(Susan) “Yeah, chief?”

(Police Chief) “We want you to ride along with him to some of the locations where we’ve found other murdered women’s bodies over the past twenty years, and he’s gonna walk out with you into the woods and then wrassle you to the ground and pretend to choke you a bit. He’s gonna lay on top of you and push his dirty rock-hard cow-loving boner into your hips.

He’ll have pants on but you’ll still for sure feel it.”

(Susan) “No problem, chief! Sounds like a totally reasonable and not demeaning at all assignment.”

Police were amazed that Kroll, with his low IQ, got away with his crimes for so long.

Because of his tendency to kill in many different areas, and because there were actually other killers working in the same area as Kroll at the time of the murders, law enforcement thought his work was that of several other people.

He was also able to evade capture for two decades due to the irregular spacing of his crimes, once going six years without committing a murder, though sometimes killing again in the span of a couple months.

And - he also produced as massive amount of semen - this disgusting, absurd detail really did help the cow fucker get away with it.

He came SO MUCH at some many crime scenes, that police thought the murders had to have been committed by a group of men.

Joachim [yaw him] Kroll - such a very, VERY strange serial killer.

He consistently evoked pity in many of the parents of kids who referred to him as Uncle Joachim [yaw him].

His neighbors who saw him as a lonely, simple-minded man who loved their children and only wanted a family of his own.

24. October 4, 1979: On October 4th, 1979, the trial against Joachim [yaw him] Georg Kroll begins in Duisburg [ deese- boo rg ].

Despite confessing to 14 murders, he’s charged with eight counts of murder and one attempted murder.

In the days before DNA evidence, they just didn’t have enough evidence to charge him with the other murders.

25. April 8, 1982: On April 8th, 1982, after a 151-day trial, he is convicted on all counts and is given NINE life sentences.

The public worried that he might be found not guilty due to his limited intellectual capacity.

But, it the end, the judge found Kroll criminally responsible and I think that was CLEARLY the right call.

To me, I don’t really give a shit if he FULLY understood what he was doing or not. Because if released, he just would’ve gotten right back at it. And that’s enough reason to at least lock him up forever.

Kroll was sentenced to life in prison with no possibility of parole.

And Kroll was shocked by the decision.

He said again later that one of the main reasons he’d confessed to the killings was because he thought authorities were gonna get him the help he needed to stop killing people.

Poor bastard. I do feel bad for him possibly being born to have the deviant urges he had. Terrible fate. 26. July 1, 1991: Nine years later, on July 1st, 1991, Kroll died of a heart attack in the prison of Rheinbach, near Bonn, at the age of 58.

And that takes us OUT of today’s incredibly disturbing Timeline.

PAUSE TIMESUCK TIMELINE OUTRO

IV.Additional Thoughts

A.KROLL RECAP:

Investigators think Kroll killed and possibly digested upwards of 30 people.

Hard to believe Kroll isn’t a better known serial killer outside of Germany considering just how unique and disturbing of a killer he was. And how successful he was for so long at getting away with his crimes.

And - SIX TIMES! Other people took the fall for his murders SIX fucking times. That alone blows my mind.

Between the Wendigo legend last week and Kroll this week, cannabilism has been a real theme lately here on Timesuck.

All this cannibal talk did make us wonder over here in the Suck Dungeon how common cannibalism actually is.

Let’s explore a bit before we wrap up today’s episode.

Cannibalism remains one of the most enduring and universal taboos in all of human culture.

Why does anyone do it?

1.WHY EAT FOLKS? -

Cannibals have had, of course, a variety of reasons for doing what they’ve done - but MOST have fallen over the years into one of three camps: (1)those who engage in endocannibalism - “the regular eating of the dead of one’s own locality, usually by family members.”

(2)exocannabilism - “the regular eating of people outside of one’s own community.”

(3) and those who engage in so-called “mystical cannibalism” - the eating of other people as part of some spiritual ceremony.

And then there are also those who do it strictly to survive in an extreme situation - like in the story told in the 1993 movie Alive, based on the true story of a South American soccer team’s plane crashing into the Andes - and then the survivors are forced to eat each other if they want to live. I made a joke about this exact event over a decade ago on my first standup album.

And then, every once in a while, there is someone like Kroll who just eat folks out of simple, deviant curiosity and then sometimes they develop a taste for it.

Let’s talk about endocannibalism for a moment.

https://people.howstuffworks.com/cannibalism2.htm

The Amahuaca [ohm uh wok uh] Indians of Peru picked particles of bone out of the ashes of tribe members who had been recently cremated - and they ground these ashes with corn, and drank it as a kind of gruel.

For the Wari' people of western Brazil, endocannibalism was an act of compassion where they roasted remains of fellow Wari' and then, as part of their funeral rites, the tribe would eat them to honor them.

Ideally, they would end up eating basically all of the meat from the recently deceased, and it was actually considered highly offensive to the direct family members of the dead to reject eating them.

SO weird.

(angry relative) “Hey dude! What’s your fucking problem?

What - you suddenly too good to eat my mom?

I saw you at the funeral you uppidity piece of shit. You didn’t eat ONE BITE of my mom. Not a finger steak. Not some of momma’s sweet thigh meat. NOTHING. That hurts, man. That really stings.”

And - how weird to eat your parents?

Especially if the cook does a really, really good job seasoning them.

Like, you’re sad that your dad just died, BUT, you’re also thinking, “Damn. Chef outDID himself today. This steak is DELICIOUS! Wish I could eat my old man every NIGHT! Showbiz!” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Endocannibalism https://www.britannica.com/topic/Australian-Aboriginal

Regarding exocannibalism, tribes of people, on every continent but Antarctica have eaten members of other tribes, choosing to hunt them as they’d hunt any other animal, or choosing to eat them as an added insult towards their enemies.

The Wari who I just mentioned - the tribe that ate their own dead - they also ate the members of other tribes. But not to honor them.

Wari warriors would kill enemies of various enemy tribes and then eat them as a means of transforming their enemies into a type of prey. They viewed warfare cannibalism as just another type of hunting, and this didn’t stop until the 1960s.

On the island of Fiji, after winning a battle, chiefs would select the most noteworthy warriors of the defeated tribe, or that tribe’s chief, and have them cooked up for him to eat.

The rest of his warriors would eat the other members of the fallen tribe.

Wonder if those guys were pissed they didn’t get the good meat?

(Angry tribe guy) “Must be nice! Eating that soft ass chief. All tender and shit. Meanwhile I’m gnawing on some scrawny ass third tier warrior!”

This form of cannibalism was not done out of any need for food - it was done as a way to assert power over a conquered people.

That is some serious “total war.” When you eat the people you just killed. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ Exocannibalism#:~:text=Exocannibalism%20(from%20Greek %20exo%2D%2C,for%20example%2C%20eating%20one's %20enemy.

Mystical cannibalism occurs in certain cultures in order to gain the powers of those they eat.

The Korowai tribes who still live deep in the remote jungles of Papua New Guinea - people who were still unaware of the existence of any other people living in the world prior to outsiders making contact with them in the 1970s - they are rumored to STILL practice mystical cannibalism and exo- cannibalism to this day.

Tribe members live in these crazy-looking houses way up in the air on stilts - and sometimes in tree houses way up in trees. And part of the reason they live so high off the ground is so that other tribes don’t raid them at night and capture them and eat them.

Fun!

Ritual cannibalism that occurred in Africa in centuries past was often related to sorcery. Headhunters and others often consumed bits of the bodies or heads of deceased enemies as a means of absorbing their vitality or other qualities and reducing their powers of revenge. https://www.britannica.com/topic/cannibalism-human- behaviour

In central America, the Aztecs were notorious for ritual cannibalism - warriors would eat a strip of flesh from enemies they had slain in combat.

In North America, the Karankawa [ kuh-rang-kuh-wah] tribe of southeast Texas was also said to practice ritual cannibalism on defeated enemies.

It's been suggested that the pre-Iroquois [ ir-uh-koy] Mohawk and the ancient Anasazi may have practiced group cannibalism.

The Mohawk were called "man-eaters" by their Algonquian enemies. http://www.native-languages.org/iaq13.htm

And god knows how much cannabilism all over the world before written history was a thing. Probably quite a bit.

Today - outside of MAYBE a VERY small handful of remote tribes in the jungles of the South Pacific and maybe South America, culturally-condoned cannabilism, thankfully does not exist …… DESPITE THE MANY WILD AND UNFOUNDED CLAIMS OF THE IDIOTS OF THE INTERNET.

Yip, yip, yaw!

PAUSE IDIOTS OF THE INTERNET INTRO

V. Idiots of the Internet

A.Today’s Video: Haven’t done this segment for awhile! If you’re new- ish to Timesuck, this is a segment where I share some idiotic comments left under a video that I came across doing research for the topic of the week.

While researching the prevalence of modern cannibalism, I came across a Youtube video titled, “Mel Gibson/Rob Downey Jr Expose Cannibalism and Pedophilia in Hollywood.”

Uploaded by the “Truth Seeker News” channel on December 15th of last year, it already has over 508k views. 9k thumbs up. Less then 400 thumbs down.

It’s 14:50 long.

And I want to play you the first 45 seconds or so, so you can hear these claims.

For starters. Both of these narrator’s claims - Carrie - are total nonsense.

Google for yourself if you doubt me.

Neither Mel Gibson nor Robert Downey Jr have recently made claims that Hollywood is full of not only pedophiles, but also cannibals. I’m fairly certain neither have ever made these claims - BUT - Mel Gibson has said some crazy shit in his day.

The World Press Center the narrator refers to here as the source of Mel Gibson saying this nonsense? Not real.

There is NO world press center dot com. No world press center dot org. No world press center dot biz. No Word Press Center dot TV.

Truth Seeker News should rename their channel to “Made Up Wackadoodle Bullshit,” because that’s what they report on. Not truth.

The second source this lunatic refers to - world truth dot tv. HO- LEE SHIT. The ultimate wackadoodle news site.

When I looked on its homepage on June 18th, the top headlines were, “Chemtrail Whistleblower Speaks,” and “Lady Gaga regrets selling her sould to illuminati dark forces.”

Sooooooo… maybe this site is a TINY bit less than credible.

And here’s some thoughts from idiots with the critical thinking skills of - I don’t know - Joachim [yaw him] Kroll.

1.Eternity, It’s Your Choice posted six months ago:

“Please pray for Mel Gibson and Robert Downey Jr's to be protected at all times, including every one who touches their lives from now on. They have exposed a plan of Satan's and now they need God's protection at all times. They will be attacked for doing this.”

Still waiting on those attacks, Eternity!

They’re both doing fine as of this recording. Both still very rich and doing great.

2.Karen Setzer, two months ago, posted: Thanks to Mel Gibson for exposing these adrenochrome craving pedovores!

“Pedovore”! That’s a new one.

I assume that means someone who molests AND eats children. Someone like Joachim [yaw him] Kroll.

And adrenochrome - there’s a term that many conspiracy theorists love right now.

Talked about that at length on last week’s Secret Suck podcast.

Global elites staying young and vital by feasting on the some mythical drug harvested from the pituitary glands of tortured children and sold on the black market.

This belief, also, is utter nonsense. Made up madness. Web lore originating, randomly, from a passage in Hunter S Thompson’s Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

3.Junkyard Dogs Posts: “Keanu Reeves has also come out and said the same things!!!”

Nope. Not true. No he hasn’t. He’s never, ever, ever said any such thing.

4.Shakes It Off posts: “600,000 kids go missing every year in the U.S.”

Clearly, this is alluding to Shakes believing that most if not all of these kids who go missing also get eaten.

Nonsense.

Actually, the number of missing kids is closer to 800,000. Or at least was as recent as 2012. According to 2012 info, roughly 800,000 kids go missing in the US every year. Scary right?

Not when you look into this number a little bit further.

According to Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children, “More than 99 percent of these kids return home alive.”

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-missing-children/missing- children-in-u-s-nearly-always-make-it-home-alive- idUSBRE83P14020120426

Important to look into shit! They go missing. Most do not STAY missing.

5.Chile up posts: “And by the way, this does NOT just happen in the US/Hollywood.... this has been going on with the ROYAL FAMILIES and government leaders in Europe for a very long time…"

Nope. No evidence of that. Horse shit. Queen Elizabeth and Prince Charles aren’t gnawing on some toddler’s leg bones right now and washing it down with their adrenochrome. Get the fuck out of here.

6.User Pam Bauder took a quick break from her job running a fortune 500 company, or maybe designing rockets for Space X to post, “I am praying God's protection for Mr. Gibson and Mr. Downey. Protect them from being suicided. Please help the children.”

Please help yourself, Pam. Less prayer, more studying. Please. Less church, more school. For fuck’s sake. They’re not getting “suicided.”

7.And finally - there are similar comments I could talk about in just this one video that would turn this into a 12 hour podcast so I’ll stop here - Richard Willet posts:

“This is The MEGA Group which includes Stephen Spielberg and George Lucas.

It is connected to Epstein and the Clintons and therefore Weinstein and the rest of the Sabbatian Frankism which is behind Zionism. Isaac Kappy worked hard to expose this and is a true legend, I will be making a documentary about him.”

Go fuck yourself Dick Willet.

The trailer for your documentary has about 500 views right now and I hope far less actually watch the whole thing.

You are exposing nothing and perpetuating nonsense that just wastes people’s time and keeps them from focusing and discussing the many very real problems in the world today.

Stop being another idiot of the internet making content that helps keep others as ignorant as you are. There is no giant cabal of elites eating kids. There are just occasional maniacs like Joachim [yaw kim] Kroll.

Let’s get out of here and talk about some other real cannibals.

PAUSE IDIOTS OF THE INTERNET OUTRO

We timesuckin’ meatsacks already know about other serial killing cannibals like Jeffrey Dahmer and Albert Fish - Peanut butt butter! Showbiz!

What other dirtbags are out there? Quite a few who will probably end up as future Timesuck episodes.

Dirtbags like…

Arthur Shawcross…

8.Arthur Shawcross -

Die-hard death metal fans might remember that time Cannibal Corpse sampled serial killer Arthur Shawcross as the opening to their track “Addicted to Vaginal Skin” off the Tomb of the Mutilated album.

The audio clip of the madman speaking about his crimes seemed to suit the track perfectly, as Shawcross says, “I just took that knife, and I cut her from her neck down to her anus. And I cut out her vagina and ate it.”

Arthur Shawcross, aka the Genesee [ jen-uh-see ] River Killer, was a deranged murderer who took the lives of 14 people between 1972 and 1989.

He began his murderous spree by killing two children in New York state. He was caught for killing two kids - took a plea deal - and only served 14 years in prison.

Seven years for each kid.

In 1990, he’d be convicted of killing ten prostitutes. Shawcross mutilated each body immensely, and ate parts of the women, claiming to have first cannibalized during his time in Vietnam, saying it bred an unstoppable lust for killing and cannibalism within him.

Arthur Shawcross died in prison in 2008.

And Shawcross will likely one day get his own suck.

Canadian killer Luka Magnotta also apparently tasted human flesh.

9.Luke Magnotta: Luka Magnotta sparked an international manhunt after he butchered a Chinese international student named Lin Jun in 2012 in Montreal.

The twisted killer uploaded footage of himself repeatedly stabbing his victim with an ice pick, then dismembering him and performing acts of necrophilia.

And Canadian cops saw a more extensive version and said an act cannibalism was also performed.

Magnotta then sent parts of the body to political parties and schools in Canada.

He was eventually arrested in a Berlin Internet cafe while reading stories about himself online.

He received a punishment of life in prison with no possibility of parole.

There’s a great documentary about Luke on Netflix called, “Don’t F**** With Cats: Hunting An Internet Killer”

Luke got married back in 2017 to Anthony Jolin, an armed robber who is serving life for stabbing another inmate to death in the shower.

How sweet. I wonder where they spent their honeymoon?

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2816267/Accused- Canada-dismemberment-trial-troubled-childhood-father-says.html

https://www.the-sun.com/news/282683/cannibal-porn-star-luka- magnotta-who-filmed-himself-killing-and-eating-boyfriend-to- marry-behind-barsto-another-killer/

B.South American Cannibals -

And not all modern criminal cannibals come from North America.

This next dirt bag comes from the Southern hemisphere - Dorangel Vargas.

1.Dorangel Vargas:

After being arrested in Venezuela in 1999, the homeless man confessed to killing and eating at LEAST 10 men over the course of 24 months.

He REFUSED to eat women or children.

He was a cannibal with a conscience.

When authorities searched the area surrounding his encampment, they found the remains of at least six victims.

To be FAIR to Dorangel - he is a paranoid schizophrenic unmedicated and untreated at the time of his cannibalistic attacks.

https://www.learning-history.com/dorangel-vargas-hannibal-lecter- andes/

C.UK Cannibals -

There are also cannibals over in Europe.

Like in the UK, home to 99% of the world’s killer kids.

JK! Gosh dang. Not really. Just a little nod to that episode.

The UK has had some sick fucks who eat people though.

Like Anthony Morley.

1.Anthony Morley -

In 1993, then 21 year old Anthony Morley became the first winner of Mr Gay UK, an annual British beauty contest for gay men that ran until 2013.

A few years later, in 1996, the male model appeared on the British TV dating show, God’s Gift. In the audience that day was Damian Oldfield.

Oldfield worked for the British gay lifestyle magazine Bent.

And years later, the two dated.

And in 2013, Anthony - now working as a 36 year-old chef - invited Damian - now his ex-boyfriend - into his Leeds flat, and after the pair had watched Brokeback Mountain in bed and fallen asleep, Anthony snapped.

He slashed Damian’s throat and stabbed him multiple times.

Then he cut off sections of flesh from his thigh and chest, seasoned it with herbs, fried it in olive oil and ate it.

He then stumbled to a nearby kebab shop in a blood-drenched dressing gown and told the staff he had killed someone because they tried to rape him.

Six pieces of human flesh, cooked so they were raw in the middle and browned on the edges, were later found on a chopping board in Morley's kitchen.

A bundle of fresh herbs, a knife used to chop them, some olive oil and a dish of seeds were found on the work surface near the cooker and a frying pan was on the hob with the remnants of fried herbs and oil in it.

A section of flesh, which appeared to have been chewed, was found in a bin bag.

Morley told the judge at his trial that he killed Oldfield after waking up to find him performing a sexual act on him and said he feared he was going to be raped.

The judge didn’t buy it.

He was found guilty on October 17th, 2008 and sentenced to life in prison. https://murderpedia.org/male.M/m/morley-anthony.htm https://www.theguardian.com/uk/2008/oct/20/ukcrime1 https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anthony_Morley

Joachim Kroll isn’t the only modern German cannibal.

Armin Meiwes [my vus] is even more recent human-eating German dirtbag.

2.Armin Meiwes -

Meiwas [my vus] received a life sentence for murdering a man he met on the internet in 2001.

Meiwes [my vus] posted an advertisement on the website The Cannibal Cric - a now defunct forum for people with a cannibalism fetish - stating that he was "looking for a well-built 18- to 30-year- old to be slaughtered and then consumed."

Pretty straightforward!

Bernd Jürgen Armando Brandes, an engineer from Berlin, answered the advertisement in March 2001.

Why not! What could go wrong answering an ad to be slaughtered? What are the odds that someone advertising something like that might actually want to slaughter and eat you?

Turns out pretty good in this case.

The two made one of the most fucked up videos of all time when they met on March 9th, 2001 in 39 year-old Meiwes’s [my vus] home, in a small town west of Rotenburg.

And, once here, Brandes apparently agreed to let Meiwes [my vus] cut his dick off.

I’m not kidding.

He asked to have his penis BIT OFF.

He then took 20 sleeping pills and drank a bottle of cough syrup to numb the pain, and THEN, Meiwes [my vus] tried to bite his dick off.

And that didn’t work.

So he cut if off with a knife.

And then, Brandes tried to eat his own penis raw.

But, on the video, he said it was too “chewy.”

So Meiwes [my vus] cooked it.

He fried it in a pan with salt, pepper, wine, and garlic.

And he burnt it. The son of a bitch burnt it!

And then he chopped it up and fed to his dog.

THEN - Meiwes [my vus] ran the badly bleeding Brandes a bath. And then he wandered off to read a Star Trek book, coming back to check in on Brandes every fifteen minutes. I shit you not.

Just reading about Captain Kirk’s adventures while a dude lays bleeding to death in his bathtub.

A dude whose dick he tried to bite off. A dude whose dick he cut off, cooked up, and fed to his dog.

I wonder if he tried talking to him about the book when he checked on him?

“Hey. Did you ever read My Enemy, My Ally? It’s great! Kirk is contacted by this Romulan commander he’s had some run-ins in the past with.

What’s that?

You need a new band-aid for the hole where your dick used to be? No problem. One sec. I just can’t stop thinking about this part where this Romulan convinces her crew to cross the Neutral Zone into Federation space and - yeah, fine - I’ll get the band aid and some more sleeping pills.

And, I know you asked me to stop apologizing, but, I really do feel TERRIBLE for burning your dick.”

Brandes drifted in and out of consciousness. And then finally, when he was already near death, Meiwes [my vus] killed Brandes by stabbing him in the throat.

And then he hung his body on a meat hook. This whole ordeal was recorded on video. The police never released it to the public - thank God - but it was all referred to in the later trial.

Meiwes [my vus] butchered up Brandes corpse, and stored his meat in the freezer, and ate him over the the next ten months, consuming an estimated 45 pounds of his flesh.

According to prosecutors, doing this sexually satisfied Meiwes [my vus].

He was originally convicted of manslaughter, claiming his victim asked to be killed, and this was overturned and he was found guilty of murder in 2006.

And there are so many other examples out there of modern cannibals from Asia, Africa, the Middle East, and elsewhere.

No shortage of meatsack eaters.

No need to go over a ton of them today. You get it.

I just want to relay info on one more. A lady. They’re not all dudes!

3.Leonarda Cianciulli -

Italian cannibal Leonarda Cianciulli murdered three middle-aged neighbor women in Italy between 1939 and 1940.

The so called “Soap-Maker of Correggio" [ kuh-rej-ee-oh] turned her victims' bodies into soap and tea cakes, which she then served to her friends and also ate herself.

How does one turn a person into a tea-cake?

She surprisingly never published a cook book but she did talk about this at her trial in 1946, saying:

“I threw the pieces into a pot, added seven kilos of caustic soda, which I had bought to make soap, and stirred the mixture until the pieces dissolved in a thick, dark mush that I poured into several buckets and emptied in a nearby septic tank. As for the blood in the basin, I waited until it had coagulated, dried it in the oven, ground it and mixed it with flour, sugar, chocolate, milk, and eggs, as well as a bit of margarine, kneading all the ingredients together. I made lots of crunchy tea cakes and served them to the ladies who came to visit, though Giuseppe and I also ate them.”

My god. Everyone eating these lovely tea cakes made out of people. The TEA CAKES ARE MADE OUT OF PEOPLE! THE TEA CAKES ARE MADE OUT OF PEOPLE!

Sorry. Little Soylent Green reference there.

Regarding the soap, she said at her trial, regarding turning her third victim into soap, “She ended up in the pot, like the other two...her flesh was fat and white, when it had melted I added a bottle of cologne, and after a long time on the boil I was able to make some most acceptable creamy soap. I gave bars to neighbors and acquaintances.”

She reportedly killed the women as sacrifices in order to protect her son during World War II.

She seems to have been completely out of her mind.

She confessed to her crimes and was found guilty of the murders. She was sentenced to 30 years in prison and died while incarcerated.

And what about her son? It seems as if he survived the war.

So - you know - I guess that shit worked.

http://www.the13thfloor.tv/2016/06/30/the-ghastly-tale-of-real-life- cannibal-leonarda-cianciulli/ https://allthatsinteresting.com/leonarda-cianciulli

D.Recap:

What a funny, light hearted, uplifting episode, huh?

Fuck me.

Can’t stress enough these cannibals are the extreme exception to the rule of people almost always not killing and eating each other.

The odds of you ending up in someone’s stew pot are real, REAL low.

Odds actually, probably a lot lower than they used to be.

Hundreds of years ago, it seems as if cannabilism was way more common than it is now.

Thank God.

We have freezers and Eggo waffles and microwave burritos. We have canned protein shakes and fast food all kinds of snacks that last forever and are cheap and keep us plenty full enough to never need to eat anyone.

Joachim [yaw him] Kroll - as truly disturbing as he was - not alone when it comes to killing and eating people.

He MIGHT be alone though, at least when it comes to modern history, when it comes to people who’ve eaten other people AND fucked cows.

And he HAS to be alone when it comes to people who’ve eaten other people, AND fucked cows, AND choked and fucked dolls, AND deposited “copious” amounts of semen at multiple rape and murder scenes.

I hope so. I really hope so. Time now for today’s Top Five Takeaways.

VI.Top Five Takeaways

1.Number One: Number one! Six times. Six different dudes took the fall for Kroll’s various murders in one way or another before he was finally arrested.

2.Number Two: Number two! This guy produced enough semen to through investigators off his trail. Is that a first? Is he the only dude to cum so much that police kept thinking a gang of men must be responsible? I hope so.

3.Number Three: Number three! Police were baffled by Kroll’s murders because they thought a serial killer capable of these kinds of crimes must be somewhat calculating and intelligent.

Instead, Kroll was basically the Forest Gump of raping and murdering and eating people.

4.Number Four: Number four! A German engineer volunteered to eat his own dick. On camera. And then die and be eaten by a stranger. That has to be the most intense and elaborate suicide I’ve ever read about.

5.Number Five: Number five! Something new.

During the trial of Joachim [yaw him] Kroll, the German legislature actually changed German law to make sure Kroll never got out of prison.

They made sure that Kroll would serve consecutive terms for his various crimes, which equated to life in prison.

Previous to the law change, due to Kroll’s limited mental capacity, it would’ve been possible that he would’ve been released after serving a more limited concurrent series of sentences for the murders, and he could’ve gotten out in 10-20 years and possibly killed again.

Because of the overwhelming media coverage and public outcry to punish Kroll, German authorities changed the law.

THANK GOD.

https://murderpedia.org/male.K/k/kroll-Joachim [yaw him].htm http://serialkillercentral.blogspot.com/2010/07/Joachim [yaw him]- kroll-ruhr-hunter.html

PAUSE TOP FIVE TAKEAWAYS OUTRO

VII.Final Announcements

A.Episode has been sucked!: Wow.

Joachim [yaw him] Kroll has been SUCKED. And several other cannibals have been KIND OF sucked.

Not sure if we do deep dives on any of those others or not actually. How disturbing, right?

B.Thank you to Timesuck Team (including episode researcher):

Thank you again to the Timesuck Team!

Thanks to Queen of Bad Magic Lynze Cummins, Reverend Doctor Joe HCJ Paisley, Bit Elixir, and Logan and Kate Keith at Spicy Club running BadMagicMerch.com and the socials!

Thanks to the Script Keeper Zaq Flannary.

Thanks to all of those involved in keeping the Cult of the Curious private Facebook group moderated by the Countess of the Cult Liz Hernandez and her All Seeing Eyes.

We all have our own Discord Channel you can link over too easily from the Timesuck app. Over 6500 Discord users now getting extra interaction.

Almost 20k cult members in the FB group now.

C.Next Episode Preview:

Next week on Timesuck… once again the Space Lizards have spoken!

This time we head to Egypt to learn all about the ancient gods that inspired some of the world’s most impressive and enigmatic structures.

From the massive Luxor Temple in the ancient city of Thebes to the over 100 pyramids that reside in Egypt, we will leave no massive limestone or granite block unturned to reveal the secrets of Egyptian spirituality.

One of the greatest societies to ever exist, ancient Egypt has over 6,000 years of history and culture that is both world famous and mysterious, posing questions that even the most learned experts still cannot answer.

To go along with their massive structures, they have an equally gigantic pantheon of gods.

With somewhere between 1,500 and 2,000 deities, we certainly won’t be able to go over them all, but we’ll introduce you to their major gods as well as some of the most terrifying deities ever to descend from the heavens. From Ammit [am it] the Devourer of the Dead to Horus - protector of Egypt, this will be an epic suck.

Join us next week to learn all about Egypt’s ancient gods.

D.Segue to Timesucker Updates:

Now let’s see what messages our god, Nimrod, has chosen for you to hear in this week’s Timesucker Updates.

PAUSE TIMESUCKER UPDATES INTRO

VIII.Timesucker Updates

A.Kicking things off with a cool update based on last week’s Wendigo Suck. Super Florida Suckers Lisa and Will write in saying:

Hello to everyone in the suck dungeon!

My name is Lisa Kuhl (pronounced cool) from South Florida and i just want to thank you all for your constant hard work and dedication on this incredible community you have built!

I was so excited to hear all of the information you gave on American Indians. My husband, Will Kuhl, is a part of the Oneida [ oh-nahy-duh ] Nation - wolf clan.

When he still lived in New York he was a living historian and did War re-enactments. The picture attached was a life sized photo of him that was in the Saratoga [ sar-uh-toh-guh ] National Historical Park.

Just wanted to share our little bit of our information from the most recent suck! You kick ass!

HAIL NIMROD!

Lisa and Will

P.s. we are also both total creeps, please keep up the spoopyness!

Thanks Lisa and Will!

Love seeing Will dressed up in his full Oneida [ oh-nahy-duh ] Wolf Clan warrior regalia. That is BAD ASS.

Glad you enjoy Scared to Death as well you creeps!

I hope you two are still able to go to New York often to visit family I assume Will still has in the area. So cool to be a part of the culture. And I wasn’t even thinking of your last name when I just said cool. Guessing you get that a lot.

B.Next up, kick ass law enforcement meatsack Logan Noble has an incredible and funny store to share with us. Logan writes:

To the master sucker and the petter of Bojangles red rocket. Wait a second, that doesn’t sound right.

Anyways, I have a funny story I thought you’d appreciate. I am a police officer that received a Timesuck related call a few years ago.

I was dispatched to the home of a local, well known, wackadoodle. And in case you start to feel bad for laughing at this guy, don’t.

He’s a child sex offender whose spent some time in prison.

This paranoid fuck called the PD to report an Illuminati sticker on the light pole in front of his residence that he said was watching him.

I laughed to myself and didn’t give much credence to the call because this guy has been calling the station with paranoid delusions and other silly complaints for years.

So I get there and he shows me the pole. Sure as shit, there is an Illuminati themed sticker on this pole. Two thoughts went through my head: A- holy shit, there actually IS a sticker on the pole.

And B- what the fuck is it?

I removed the sticker from the pole and thought nothing more of it until about a year late when I discovered the Timesuck Podcast.

It was then that this old call popped into my head and I recognized this sticker.

It was a TIMESUCK sticker.

So I would like you to take some solace from knowing that your podcast has mind-fucked at least one paranoid pedophile.

Gives me a laugh every time I think about it.

On a less funny note I did deface the suck by removing the sticker.

I hope you found this funny.

I will continue to listen to the podcast for as long as you can handle making it and have already got 4-5 guys from my department listening to it also. And on another good note your mush mouth shouldn’t have a hard time pronouncing my name.

Thank you Officer Noble! That’s amazing. It’s fucking incredible actually.

And I feel like I nailed your name. Thanks for doing what you do, and I hope you and your crew are protecting and serving your community and staying safe.

I so love that one of our stickers freaked that dude the fuck out.

C. Funny Sucker Jeff Stephenson sent us one of the shortest messages we’ve ever received and it cracked me the Hell up.

Just a Subject line of “Fucking Paisley”. And a message of

“Hey Timesuck team, Sorry for the long email. -Jeff”

Haha! Well played Jeff. I love that your message only said, “sorry for the long email.”

Hail Nimrod!

D. Now for a super disturbing Killer Kids update from Michigan based meat sack, Justin Holliday. Justin writes:

hello Master Sucker, I've been a fan over the last few years and have been waiting to find a reason to email you. I managed to meet you and and Lynze at The BOB in Grand Rapids last year with a friend of mine. Anyway, this is related to the Killer Kids. I grew up without knowing about a distant aunt and uncle. I wasnt informed of this information until I was in high school when I met their son. I had it confirmed with my dad about the news after he told me this story. It seems many years ago, my aunt and uncle were going for a walk. They lived in the middle of nowhere. They had almost walked past a household with two young brothers, whose parents weren't currently home. They were roughly in their early teens. The kids decided to take their parents guns and ran outside, pointed them at my aunt and uncle and forced them to walk into the cornfield they had in their yard. When they were far enough into the field, the kids shot and killed both of them. To top it all off, they cleaned the bodies as to not leave a trail and left them under their beds. I heard the bodies were under the bed for about a week before the boys parents found them. I have no information beyond that but I thought you would find this interesting. If you manage to read this on Timesuck, praise Bojangles and keep on sucking. Thank you.

Jesus Justin. That is INTENSE. Your poor aunt and uncle. I can’t believe those kids just put their bodies under the bed like they were a couple of porno mags. That is ridiculous.

Thanks for listening and writing in and I hope you don’t have family stories darker than that one!

E.We’ll end now on a cute little shoutout. Sweet Sucker Wes Antinetti [Ant-eh-net-ee] who writes in with a shout out request:

Good morning, noon, evening, or night Master Suck.

I just was wondering if you could get my grandma and I a birthday shout out.

On June 21st I will turn 16 and my Grandma, Mary, will turn 77.

Thank you for keeping me entertained and filling my ear holes with the sweetest of sucks while I work in the yard and around the house. Happy Sucking, hail Nimrod, and begone Lucifina!

Wes Antinetti (If needed, its Ant-eh-net-ee)

Well happy barely belated birthday Wes and Mary! Mary - I hope Wes makes you listen to this entire episode to hear your birthday shout out. And then I hope you two have a long talk about why he chooses to listen to shit like this. Haha!

Thanks for the messages everyone. Hail Nimrod!

PAUSE TIMESUCKER UPDATES OUTRO

IX.Goodbye!

A.Goodbye!:

Have a great week, and, just like I said last week, STILL don’t eat anyone. Hopefully that won’t still be my advice next week. Will the Egyptian Gods suck break our cannabilism theme? Find out when you keep on suckin’.

SOURCES:

Book: The Serial Killer Spotlight: Joachim [yaw him] Kroll, A Unique Serial Killer

OTHER: Documentary: The Duisburg [ deese-boo rg ] Cannibal