What makes community?
In many ways the word community is overused today and as a result the word has gotten a bad rap. With this in mind it is important that any discussions about community starts with defining what we mean when we use the word. Some refer to community as any group of people in close physical proximity. However, just because people live in the same apartment building it does not necessarily mean that a sense of community exists. A place where people live or go to school can be a community, but it does not necessarily have to one. So what makes a group a true community?
Defining community is something like defining friendship; it is easy to experience and feel yet difficult to truly capture the concept. You’d think—or at least, I did—that the root meaning of the word “community” is “coming together as one.” But it’s not. The old Latin word communitatus comes from two even older words that mean “the changes or exchanges that connect people” and “small, intimate, or local.” Given this background, Sheldon Berman (1990) offers the following definition:
A community is a group of people who acknowledge their common purpose, respect their differences, share in group decision making as well as in responsibility for the actions of the group, and support each other’s growth.
In tying this definition of community to what we are trying to do this summer, I want to encourage each individual to focus on how your summer experience will impact your life in the following three areas: (1) your relationship to God; (2) your relationship to others; (3) your relationship to the larger world (including the place and people you will be interacting with this summer). I hope these three foci are related to some of your own personal goals for this summer as well. In addition, I want each group of students to focus on (1) how collectively we can help each other deepen our relationships to God; (2) how we want to live together in community; and (3) how we collectively as a group want to interact with those that we will meet from our host cultures. Each of these three foci grow out of Henry Nouwen’s three disciplines of the contemplative life:
1. The first discipline is the discipline of solitude. It’s only in solitude that we can get in touch with the Spirit of God in us. Solitude is an important discipline in a busy world. Solitude involves prayer, spiritual reading, and being alone with God.
2. The second discipline is the discipline of community. Out of solitude we go into community. Community is not just a place where we do things together, but a place where together we recognize the presence of God…Community, whether a parish, a family, or an intentional community, is where people live together and want to discover in each other the presence of God.
3. The third discipline is ministry, reaching out to others. Its important to reach out to others because we want to share from the abundance of our life, not because we have a need to be good helpers or because we have something to prove. In fact what we want to strive to do here is to strive to have a ministry of presence, to develop a presence in being with others from a different culture. Taylor (1963) described what is meant by having a presence in Africa when he writes “Africans believe that presence is the debt they owe one another…The Christian, whoever he may be, who stands in that world is the name of Christ, has nothing to offer unless he offers to present, really and totally present, really and totally in the present” (p. 135).
If we are to create community, real community, the kind of community that incorporates Nouwen’s disciplines of the contemplative life and embodies Berman’s definition, we need to covenant with one another. We need agreements about how we will treat one another. We need to weigh our words carefully, and follow through on our commitments. We need to work together, really work. We need a return to honorable reciprocity, never taking from one another without giving something of substance in return. We need to think about how to build consensus and be truly democratic in our decision-making.
This purpose of this worksheet is to help students identify and develop a set of communal goals. This worksheet is designed in two parts and includes several tasks. The first task is to help you share some of your own goals and expectations for your experience this summer. The second task is designed to help you begin to develop a covenant for your life together, answering the question: How are we going to live together this summer? How are we going to support and encourage each other to fully experience your life together this summer? The third task is designed to help you think about how to make your covenant a living document that is relevant and can guide the group throughout the summer. Creating a Group Covenant Communities are held together by the willingness of community members to co-create for themselves what they see as important
Background Information (FAQ)
What is a covenant?
The Hebrew term for covenant is berit , meaning “to bond or fetter.” It is translated into the Greek as syntheke , “binding together” or diatheke , “will, testament.” In the Bible, then a covenant is a relationship based upon mutual commitments. It typically involves promises, obligations, and rituals.
Covenants are contracts between individuals given to define a relationship. Types of covenants include those between individuals as well as those between humans and God. The covenants of the Bible between humans and God are completely unique to Christianity.
Why create a covenant?
A covenant encourages us to be intentional . . . “Building community is an integral component of Calvin’s educational mission. Perhaps this vision is best characterized by an image of students, faculty, and staff helping one another day to day to cultivate aspirations, nurture commitments, and practice what we profess (Expanded Statement of Mission, Calvin College).
Moreover, building community suggests intentionally striving to enact self-control, integrity, and justice as appropriate expressions of Christian belief…Building community doesn’t occur automatically; it requires commitment and perseverance. Moreover, building community suggests intentionally striving to enact self-control, integrity, and justice as appropriate expressions of Christian belief. Taken together, these three characteristics of the Christian life are important building blocks of the kind and quality of community that Calvin envisions” (Student Handbook, Calvin College).
What are some basic tenants we should keep in mind as we create our covenant?
Drawing from Berman’s definition of community and Nouwen’s three disciplines of the contemplative life, a number of basic elements of effective communities emerge which you need to address in creating a covenant which should give you a basis to conduct all future activities this summer. Several important components in the process of covenant making and living out your covenant in community include:
♦ Acknowledge their connection and commonalities . In a community there is recognition of individual’s relatedness and interdependence with one another. A sense of community includes a sense of we and a feeling of cooperation.
♦ Experiences belonging . Belonging is not earned but rather unconditionally given to anyone who wants to commit to being a part of community. A sense of belonging is just as important as the tasks the community accomplishes.
Love is neither sentimental nor a passing emotion. It is the recognition of a covenant of a mutual belonging. It is listening to others, being concerned for them and felling empathy with them. It is to see their beauty and to reveal in it.
♦ Respects differences . Differences are valued and viewed as strengthening the community. Healthy communities strive to build upon people’s differences instead of hiding or downplaying them.
Community is the safe place where all of us feel free to be ourselves and have the confidence to say everything we live and think. Not all communities will get to this point, its true. But this is the direction in which they should be going.
♦ Develop relationships . Members have personal connections and get to know one another as people. The heart of community is relationships! A sense of community cannot exist without people interacting and experiencing each other on a personal level. Take away the personal contact and you do not have a community but rather a group of people swimming laps together in a pool – physically close, but not connecting any more deeply.
Human life is, after all, living in relationship. We are human in and through our relationship to the world around us, to our fellow human beings, our job, societal structures, culture, science, nature. Hendrickus Berkhof
♦ Share responsibility for decision-making . Communities have norms and procedures for making decisions, handling conflicts, etc., whether implicitly or explicitly stated. There are shared responsibilities helping children and adults grow in a community, for decision making, for taking action, and for living with the process and outcomes of decisions.
It is not simply a question of becoming responsible for others and being committed to them; it is also allowing them to carry and love us, and entering into a relationship of interdependence and into a covenant.
♦ Have a common purpose or shared vision . All these elements are necessary, but not sufficient, if the goal is to have a healthy community that sustains and stays alive over time. With a shared vision, members perceive a common reason for being together, which strengthens the sense we and commitment to the relationships and decisions within a community. With a shared vision may come increased group ownership for both celebrations and crises. The group acknowledges and celebrates individual and collective contributions and accomplishments. The group also works together to solve issues and concerns that confront community.
The difference between a community and a group of friends is that in community we verbalize our mutual belonging and bonding. We announce the goals and the spirit that unites us. We recognize also that this bonding comes from God; it is a gift from God. It is he who has chosen us and called us together in a covenant of love and mutual caring. Jean Vanier, Community and Growth
How do we make our covenant a living document ? It is important to remember that writing a covenant is not a product to be completed and set on a shelf but rather a process to be struggled with and embraced. The difficulty is how do we allow the process to play out over the year and not get frustrated with each other through the struggle. To this end at the end of this worksheet, you will be asked how the house can live the covenant throughout the year as a living document rather than a something you do and check off your list as completed.
Worksheet Tasks
TASK ONE: Reflection Questions (To Be done individually) Take about 10 minutes and think about the following questions, make some mental notes to yourself. Your individual answers along with the goals you set earlier will serve as a good foundation to discuss your hopes and dreams for your experience this summer. • Why did you apply for this experience? What do you hope to get out of this experience? • What are some of your general hopes, expectations and concerns about this experience?
TASK TWO: Complete the following exercise and discussion questions. Circle of Hands Exercise
Step 1 Draw a circle of hands on the poster board provided
Everybody should include both hands, be sure to include part of each wrist.
On your one hand DRAW (without using words) 3 or 4 things YOU would like to see the group strive to be this summer. Think in terms of the top three or four principles, values, and/or virtues YOU want the group to emphasize. If you need or want some help, feel free to look at the attached list of virtues and how they might be emphasized in the group or read the following passages: Galatians 5:22-23; Philippians 2:12-13. On the wrist, each person should WRITE (you can use words) the greatest strength he or she brings to the group to help it succeed in living out the principles he or she described on the hands. Be specific & don’t be afraid to “toot your own horn.”
• The virtues on this list have strong biblical roots and have also been identified as foundations on which to build the core curriculum at Calvin College. These virtues can also serve as guides in building your group covenant. In calling us to these virtues, God is asking us to create dispositions to feel and to act in certain ways. As you complete this piece of the exercise you may want to reflect on each of these virtues and answer the question what could each of these virtues mean for our life together? Remember all these virtues are good and important to strive for but what are 3 to 4 core values or virtues you want your house to really focus.
On your other hand draw (without using words) a number of things that explain who you are as a person, what do you want others to know about you . In addition, have each person write (on the wrist) what he or she needs from the group to be help the group be successful this year.
Have everyone share their drawings and thoughts. Step 2 Using the corners of the poster, identify three to four GROUP goals for the group this summer. Actually write these goals, principles, values or virtues on the corners of your sheet.
Think in terms of principles, values and/or virtues your group wants to emphasize this year. Remember to work toward consensus in identifying these goals, principles, values, and/or virtues. Discuss the values, virtues, and principles discussed in Step One are there any principles or values that the group can commit to work on together?
Step 3 Divide the area in the middle of your circle of hands into 4 quadrants.
o In the first quadrant , Place your expectations of each other, related to work expectations, sense of time, interacting with each other, norms for behavior (related to things like alcohol), etc – Begin by sharing expectations on a separate piece of paper (please draw from earlier discussion you may have had) -- don’t write anything on the poster yet!
7 Once all possible expectations have been voiced and discussed, come to a consensus of expectations that everyone can live with – Be reasonable and only commit to what you think you can realistically hold yourselves accountable.
7 Once you have identified your top five or six expectations – write them in this quadrant and be specific.
o In the second quadrant, Place what right habits you want to encourage.
7 Principles and virtues are best learned when lived and the best way to learn values and virtues is by the development of right habits. 7 What are some specific habits or behaviors that will support the community in living out the goals you collectively listed in the corners of the poster? What specific tangible ways will you promote the principles, values and/or virtues you have collectively identified. For example: We the residents of commit to:
…striving for consensus in our decision making, …letting everyone voice their opinion. …spending intentional time together …speaking the truth in love …dealing with conflict in a timely manner …eating together in a timely manner
o In the third quadrant, Answer the following questions
7 How does the group want to structure itself during this experience? Do you want one or two leaders to organize the group? Do you want leadership for the group to rotate to different members? For example, who will deal with the partnering agency if you have a request or concern or if they have a request or concern?
7 How will the group check in with each other for planning purposes or to make decisions related to work and program? Will you have daily meetings? Weekly meetings? As needed? Who will call these meetings? Who will lead these meetings?
o In the fourth & final quadrant , think about how you are going to hold one another accountable within the community. Use the information in the attached box to discuss how you can be proactive in helping the group deal with conflict. What can the group do to build the skills necessary to deal with conflict effectively.
7 What might be some potential hotspots for the group – issues that have the potential to create conflict?
7 Think through how the group is going to handle conflict (e.g. if a group member is not meeting one of the expectations listed in the first quadrant). In other words how can you hold each other accountable?
7 What issues can the group handle on their own? What issues should the group reach out and seek help to handle? How will the group reach out for help? What are some resources the group can make use of in dealing with conflict?
7 How can the OCP office at Calvin be supportive of the group throughout the summer or if specific problem develop?
• Step 4 Review – Review your circle of hands, in what ways can this be seen as a covenant for how you will interact, work and live together this summer? Does anything else need to be added? Does anyone have any issue with anything that is on your paper?
Step 5 Living Document – Discuss (brainstorm) how your covenant can be used as living document throughout the summer. Some possible ideas include: • Create a space for you to review your covenant and discuss how the group is doing in relationship to the covenant each week.. • Have a different member of the house be responsible each week to give a covenant report, giving specific examples of where the house had lived up to the covenant or had not lived up to the covenant. • Have a member of the house take a portion of the covenant and do a devotion connected to a word or phrase. • Develop a way or process that the group could change the covenant as needed. • Find quotes and Bible verses related to your covenant and place them throughout the house. • Set specific goals and check them off as a house and as goals are accomplished add more.
You get the idea – GET CREATIVE! When you are done make sure you have time to share with the other groups some of your ideas, perhaps they might like to do something similar, perhaps you will find an idea you like as well.
Lastly remember these words from the book Space for God :
Remember to be gentle with yourself. We get so down on ourselves when we attempt something and fail to do it or fail in doing it. Thomas Merton, who spoke from experience, gives a helpful reminder: ‘In the spiritual life there are no tricks or short cuts…One can not begin to face the real difficulties of life [in God] unless one is first perfectly content to be a beginner and really experience oneself as one who knows little or nothing, and has a desperate need to learn the bare rudiments. Those who think they know for the beginning never, in fact, come to know anything…We do not want to be beginners, but let us be convinced of the fact that we will never be anything else but beginners, all our life.’
CONNECTION BETWEEN COMMUNITY AND CONFLICT
A conflict is a disagreement. There are a variety of responses that an individual or group chooses once a conflict occurs. An effective community certainly influences how conflict is viewed and handled. The following section identifies specific ways that an effective community deals with conflicts and leads to the resolution of challenging issues.
Trust is more likely to develop within a safe, supportive community. Trust leads to risk-taking in conflicts. Efforts to build trust between and within groups will potentially have a positive impact on the community’s ability to effectively resolve conflict.
Acceptance and belonging within a community means a person experiences belonging even when in conflict with other members of the community. Acceptance does not need to be earned based on the outcome of a conflict. In an inclusive community, there is unconditional acceptance that may help individuals to be more contributing to resolving conflict.
Strong, valuing relationships exist in a caring community and may often be helpful in resolving conflict. Increased commitment may result in helping to reach a satisfactory outcome for everyone (i.e., win – win) and not just oneself (i.e., I win – you lose) due to the importance placed upon maintaining valuing relationships.
Communities built upon diversity can create more opportunities for conflict since differences of opinion are more likely. Also, adding multiple perspectives, abilities, cultures, personalities, and ways to approach things can make the conflict more complex. However, what may have increased the likelihood for conflict also may improve the community’s ability to resolve and creatively solve the conflict: diversity!
A community’s response to crisis depends upon the strength of the community (as well as other variables such as the nature of frequency of conflict). Conflict can pull an already fragile community completely apart. If conflict occurs in a situation where people are already disconnected, conflict can be the catalyst that pushes people totally away or even at each other. People may remove themselves mentally, physically, or emotionally from the problems, having little commitment or resolution. Another responses may be to point fingers of blame or lash out. If there is little, or no community, conflicts are likely to escalate. However, crisis can bring a community together. People’s growth, commitment, and sense of membership can be strengthen when they rally together to address a crisis.
New growth and commitment to the community can occur within conflicts. Through effectively resolving conflict, people can grow individually and in relationships with others. In dealing with conflict, new perspectives and feelings can be discovered.
Source: Bullock & Mahon. (1997). An introduction to recreation services for people with disabilities: A people centered approach. Champaign, IL: Sagamore Publishing.