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HAT are you advertising? I haven't the least idea in the world of working for Nothing? anybody else. Did somebody say—" Oh, yes, you are! Every human being is a walking "Well," and the boss matched his fingers and gazed ad. for something! out of the window, "yes and no. Somebody has been The question at point is, For what commodity are talking, Elmer, and I understand that you, yourself, you, personally, serving as a billboard? are advertising your interest in another firm." "It's not true, Mr. Baldwin! It's a lie—that's what it is! I don't advertise for anybody but Baldwin Com- ID you ever hear the story of Elmer and the Fifty- pany—not ever—and—I—I—" The tears were not far seven Varieties? No? Then listen! away. Elmer was office boy for Baldwin Company, printers. "Easy now, lad," and the man in the swivel chair He was industrious and good-natured and accommo- smiled. "As a matter of fact, you're advertising with- dating. What was more, he had brains and used them. out knowing it. But everybody in this office and wher- His work was well done, and done exactly right. Yes, ever you've gone on errands has been reading your ads. everybody in the office liked Elmer in most ways; but I've seen some of them myself. I came to the conclu- in one they didn't. sion today that it was about time for us to have a chat His fault was a matter of comment very often when about it. This man Heinz is all right, Elmer, and heads he was out of hearing. "Elmer's a peach of a boy," one a big concern, whose products are internationally fa- stenographer remarked to another, "but he's just plain mous. Of course we hate to lose you, but—" —dirty!" Elmer's eyes were flashing. "Somebody's been lying "Soiled, you mean," corrected the bookkeeper, as he about me, Mr. Baldwin! Why, I never even heard of wheeled the adding machine into position for use. this Heinz firm!" "There really isn't anything dirty about him, you "Now that's strange—very strange," mused the boss. know. He's clean as they come in thought and word, Then his eyes twinkled. "You say you never heard of them—why, boy, for weeks you've been wearing sam- but—" "Why doesn't somebody tell him to clean up?" the ples of almost all their 'fifty-seven varieties' on the timekeeper interrupted. front of your coat and trousers; and as I look at your "Tell him?" another stenographer spoke. "Oh, for shirt and necktie just now, I'm thinking they must the chance to oversee Elmer just one Saturday night! have added several new products to the original fifty- seven." Wouldn't he shine?" "The boss ought to talk to him," observed the list Elmer, his face blazing with chagrin, was really look- clerk. "Elmer's his job, not ours. He isn't what I'd ing at his clothes for the first time in his life. Yes, he call a good advertisement for the firm—looking as he admitted candidly, the boss was right. They were does!" soiled—untidy—and— "I have it!" The bookkeeper took the floor again. "Having hard work to make the pay check stretch?" "Let's write the boss a note and all sign it, and suggest asked Mr. Baldwin kindly. that Elmer'd be better liked here in the plant, and "Yes, sir." Elmer thought he never could raise his worth a heap more outside it, if he'd only—slick up!" eyes, but he did. "Mother's sick, you know, and can't And so it came about that the note was written. press my clothes and clean them. But I just haven't thought! It's so easy to be careless, and—" "I'll make you this proposition, man to man," inter- ripHE boss laughed when he head the suggestion. rupted the boss. "Take this bill. Go out and buy your- I Then he looked sober and read it again. Of course! self a new suit—a whole new outfit. Pay a visit to the Come to think of it, Elmer was careless! But the boy barber, and then go home and get into the bathtub was so loyal, and cheerful, and willing, and efficient and take the scrubbing of your life. Then dress and that he had sort of overlooked this shortcoming. report back to me—for listen, Elmer, if you're going to "No, he's not a very good ad. for Baldwin Company, stay with Baldwin Company you'll have to keep the I'll admit. But I hate to hurt the lad." And the boss Heinz ads. off your clothes and yourself immaculately sat for several minutes wrapped in deep thought. clean. Beginning today your wages are raised by two Then he chuckled. Picking up his telephone, he called dollars a week. You can pay me back for this loan at the information desk and directed: "When Elmer the rate of one dollar a month. Do we understand each comes in, send him to my office at once." other, lad?" "Sit down," Mr. Baldwin directed when the boy "Yes, sir," and Elmer held out his hand. "Hereafter appeared. "I want to talk to you." He spoke sternly all my advertisements shall be for the house. And I and Elmer was puzzled. What could be wrong? Had promise you every one of 'em shall be—clean! I'll be he made a mistake? Was he going to be fired—right back with some new copy by four o'clock!" now when mother— The boss said seriously: "I understand, my boy, that you are working for another firm." "Why, no, Mr. Baldwin," gasped Elmer in surprise. II IGHT now—today—you yourself, my friend, are "No—I'm—I'm not—why, sir, is something wrong?" an ad. for—something! But for what? Take a "Not exactly wrong. Of course you have a perfect frank look at yourself, and answer honestly. right to decide to work for some one else, but I had a notion that you were well satisfied here." "I certainly was—am—are," stammered Elmer, "and