7 SHOTS AND SLAMMERS FOR THE PERPETUAL 21-YEAR-OLD— Sorority and Fraternity Fantasia dmit it. You’d order a shot called a Blow Job in college and snicker about it for A days. Even brag about it. You know you would. But would you order that drink when you were thirty-five? Only if you were in the midst of a midlife crisis, craving a college-aged cutie, and a red sports car.We can’t promise you the car or the girl, but, no question, these shots and slammers will send you down memory lane. Some of them flame. Literally. Some even wiggle, thanks to Jell-O. Down a couple—or four—with lethal names like Kamikaze and Alien Secretion, and you’ll rocket to Mars faster than anything NASA could invent. Remember to buckle up! 591. AFTER FIVE Another sweet reason to finish your TPS reports on time. 1/3 ounce coffee liqueur 1/3 ounce peppermint schnapps 1/3 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1. Layer coffee liqueur, peppermint schnapps, and Irish cream liqueur in a shot glass. 592. AFTER EIGHT Clarification: Drink’s name is not an invitation to demon- strate what great tricks you can do after eight servings. 1/3 ounce coffee liqueur 1/3 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1/3 ounce white crème de menthe 1. Layer coffee liqueur, Irish cream liqueur, and crème de menthe in a shot glass. 336 1000 BEST BARTENDER’S RECIPES Shots and Slammers 337 593. ALABAMA SLAMMER Drink four, say name three times fast, win a prize. 1 1/2 ounces sloe gin 1 1/2 ounces amaretto 1 1/2 ounces Southern Comfort 1 1/2 ounces orange juice 1. Fill cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add sloe gin, amaretto, Southern Comfort, and orange juice. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into four shot glasses. (Serves 4) 594. ANTIFREEZE Proper system maintenance is critical to maximizing your engine’s performance. 1/2 ounce green crème de menthe 1/2 ounce vodka 1. Fill cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add crème de menthe and vodka. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 595. B-53 Now with even more flavor than the B-52! 1/2 ounce coffee liqueur 1/2 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1/2 ounce Grand Marnier 1/2 ounce vodka 1. Layer coffee liqueur, Irish cream liqueur, Grand Marnier, and vodka into a shot glass. 596. PURPLE HOOTER SHOOTER Note: In the event hooters remain purple for more than four hours, seek immediate medical attention. 3 ounces vodka 1 ounce Rose’s lime juice Dash of Chambord 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add vodka, Rose’s lime juice, and Chambord. 3. Stir. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 338 1000 BEST BARTENDER’S RECIPES Shots and Slammers 339 597. JOLLY RANCHER Like a trip to the candy store. A candy store where you get carded. 3/4 ounces vodka 1/4 ounce melon liqueur 1/4 ounce peach schnapps Splash of cranberry juice 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add vodka, melon liqueur, peach schnapps, and cranberry juice. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 598. BABY RUTH In the 1927 World Series, Babe Ruth called his shot and homered. Time for you to call yours. 1/2 ounce Frangelico 1/2 ounce vodka Three peanuts 1. Layer Frangelico and vodka in a shot glass. 2. Add peanuts. 599. BUTTERY NIPPLE “The lady will have the linguine with white clam sauce and a Buttery Nipple.” Who says chivalry can’t be fun? 1/2 ounce butterscotch schnapps 1/2 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1. Layer butterscotch schnapps and Irish cream liqueur. 600. MELTDOWN Designed to thaw even the iciest of hearts. Recommended for standoffish blind dates. 1 ounce chilled vodka 1/2 ounce peach schnapps 1. Pour chilled vodka into a shot glass. 2. Top with peach schnapps. 601. PURPLE HAZE Actin’ funny, and you don’t know why? S’cuse me while I… 1/2 ounce sambuca 1/2 ounce Chambord 1. Pour sambuca into shot glass. 2. Slowly add Chambord. 340 1000 BEST BARTENDER’S RECIPES Shots and Slammers 341 602. HAWAIIAN PUNCH Please resist the urge to smack the guy who requests this drink. It just means you’re old enough to remember the commercial. 1/4 ounce crème de almond 1/4 ounce Southern Comfort 1/4 ounce vodka 1/4 ounce pineapple juice 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add crème de almond, Southern Comfort, vodka, and pineapple juice. 3. Stir. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 603. BEAM ME UP SCOTTY Don’t be a Klingon—passing this one up is simply not logical. 1/3 ounce coffee liqueur 1/3 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1/3 ounce banana liqueur 1. Layer coffee liqueur, Irish cream liqueur, and banana liqueur. 604. KAMIKAZE Tora! Tora! Tora! 2 ounces vodka 1/2 ounce triple sec 1/4 ounce Rose’s lime juice 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add vodka, triple sec, and Rose’s lime juice. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into two shot glasses. (Serves 2) 605. BLOW JOB Makes Monday morning’s break room recounting of Friday night a lot more interesting. 1/2 ounce vodka 1/2 ounce coffee-flavored brandy 1/2 ounce coffee liqueur 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add vodka, coffee-flavored brandy, and coffee liqueur. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 5. Top with whipped cream. 342 1000 BEST BARTENDER’S RECIPES Shots and Slammers 343 606. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED Banner not included. 2 ounces vodka 1/2 ounce triple sec 1/4 ounce Rose’s lime juice Dash of grenadine 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add vodka, triple sec, Rose’s lime juice, and grenadine. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 607. E.T. Serve with side order of Reese’s Pieces. 3/4 ounce melon liqueur 3/4 ounce vodka 3/4 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1. Layer melon liqueur, vodka, and Irish cream liqueur. 608. PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY Mmm…just like Mom used to make when you weren’t looking. 3/4 ounce Frangelico 3/4 ounce Chambord 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add Frangelico and Chambord. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 609. LEMON DROP Giggly coeds frequently lose their grip on this one. 1/2 ounce chilled tequila 1/2 ounce chilled vodka Lemon slice Sugar 1. Moisten inside of a shot glass with lemon slice. 2. Coat inside of shot glass with sugar. 2. Add tequila and vodka. 344 1000 BEST BARTENDER’S RECIPES Shots and Slammers 345 610. CANDY BAR The bouncer at the Candy Bar? A surly, aging Willy Wonka. 1/2 ounce Frangelico 1/2 ounce vodka 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add Frangelico and vodka. 3. Strain into a shot glass. 611. MEXICAN FLAG Order one for the Mexican head of state, win additional NAFTA concessions. Never underestimate the power of drunken diplomacy. 1/2 ounce sloe gin 1/2 ounce vodka 1/2 ounce melon liqueur 1. Pour sloe gin into a shot glass. 2. Float vodka on top of sloe gin. 3. Float melon liqueur on top of vodka. 612. PANCHO VILLA Pancho Villa was a tough, hardcore Mexican revolutionary. No better way to salute this brave man than with a fruity cocktail. 1 ounce light rum 1 ounce gin 1/2 ounce apricot brandy 1 teaspoon cherry brandy 1 teaspoon pineapple juice 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add light rum, gin, brandies, and pineapple juice. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into a rocks glass filled with ice. 613. TO THE MOON “One of these days, Alice, one of these days…POW!” Pour a little out for Jackie Gleason, RIP. 1/2 ounce coffee liqueur 1/2 ounce amaretto 1/2 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1/2 ounce 151-proof rum 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add coffee liqueur, amaretto, Irish cream liqueur, and 151-proof rum. 3. Stir. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 346 1000 BEST BARTENDER’S RECIPES Shots and Slammers 347 614. BLOODY CAESAR “Et tu? Okay, you got the first round, I’ll pick up this one. Who wants peanuts?” 1 littleneck clam 2 drops Worcestershire sauce 2 drops Tabasco sauce Dash of horseradish 1 ounce vodka 1 1/2 ounces tomato juice 1. Place littleneck clam in bottom of shot glass. 2. Add Worcestershire sauce, Tabasco sauce, and horseradish. 3. Add vodka and tomato juice. 4. Sprinkle celery salt on top. 5. Garnish with lime juice. 615. PIGSKIN SHOT Soon to be the official stadium smuggled drink for Arkansas Razorback fans everywhere. Woo Pig Sooiee! 1 ounce vodka 1 ounce melon liqueur 1/2 ounce sour mix 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add vodka, melon liqueur, and sour mix. 3. Shake. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 616. SNOW CAP Like a favorite hat, this one will keep your head nice and warm. 1/2 ounce tequila 1/2 ounce Irish cream liqueur 1. Layer tequila and Irish cream liqueur into a shot glass. 617. WOO WOO Hard to order this one with a straight face, but give it a try. Well worth the bartender’s raised eyebrow. 1/2 ounce vodka 1/2 ounce peach schnapps 1/2 ounce cranberry juice 1. Fill a cocktail shaker with ice. 2. Add vodka, peach schnapps, and cranberry juice. 3. Stir. 4. Strain into a shot glass. 348 1000 BEST BARTENDER’S RECIPES Shots and Slammers 349 618.