page 2 the paper january 31, 2018

Marc Molinaro, pg. 3 Hygge, pg. 9 Oscars, pg. 15 F & L, pg. 21-22 Earwax, pg. 23

the paper “Favorite U.S. President Based on Looks” c/o Office of Student Involvement Editors-in-Chief Fordham University Colleen “Barack Obama” Burns Bronx, NY 10458 Claire “John Tyler” Nunez [email protected] Executive Editor http://fupaper.blog/ Michael Jack “Lyndon Baines Johnson” O’Brien News Editors the paper is Fordham’s journal of news, analysis, comment and review. Students from all Christian “Theodore Roosevelt” Decker years and disciplines get together biweekly to produce a printed version of the paper using Andrew “Rutherford B. Hayes” Millman Adobe InDesign and publish an online version using Wordpress. Photos are “borrowed” from Opinions Editors Internet sites and edited in Photoshop. Open meetings are held Tuesdays at 9:00 PM in McGin- Jack “Millard Fillmore” Archambault ley 2nd. Articles can be submitted via e-mail to [email protected]. Submissions from Hillary “Franklin Daddy Roosevelt” Bosch students are always considered and usually published. Our staff is more than willing to help new writers develop their own unique voices and figure out how to most effectively convey their Arts Editors thoughts and ideas. We do not assign topics to our writers either. The process is as follows: Meredith “Spiro Agnew” McLaughlin have an idea for an article, send us an e-mail or come to our meetings to pitch your idea, write Annie “Dead White Guy” Muscat the article, work on edits with us, and then get published! We are happy to work with anyone Earwax Editor who is interested, so if you have any questions, comments or concerns please shoot us an e- Marty “Andrew Jackson” Gatto mail or come to our next meeting. So, why come write for us? We are a constantly evolving publication, and have been since Features and List Editors 1972. We provide an outlet of expression otherwise unavailable to Fordham students. Writers Katelynn “George Washington” Browne are free to say whatever they want, whenever they want. We are also pretty cool people, to be Olivia “John F. Kennedy” Langenberg completely honest. So please come hang out with us. You’ll have a good time, we promise. Copy Editor Robin “William Henry Harrison” Happel our aim David “Abraham Lincoln“ Kennedy the paper is Fordham University’s fully student-run, free speech publication. Our aim is to challenge our writers and our readers: we want to make you think. We provide an outlet for all Contributors students to express themselves, whatever their passion may be. Whether it’s commenting on a Katelyn Cody, Cadela Vaz, Mary Freeze, Gabrielle Curran, social issue, writing a factual news article, making people laugh with a humor piece, composing Mario Pineda-Bermudez, Rachel Poe, Kirsten Nolan, Warra Chan, Estrallitas a personal narrative, giving advice or ranting about something that makes you feel a certain Poblana III, Llamas, Kombucha, RuPaul Charles, A Rabid Cat, Toenails, The strong way -- we have a place for you. Because of our platform as a free speech newspaper, we Wombats, the Queen of England, Space, Words, Father McShane, The Darkness tend to push the boundaries of university journalism by talking about important social issues, of The Void, Nick Peters Stress, Slamming Your Face Against The Roof During expressing otherwise silenced voices and opinions, addressing Fordham policy and administra- A Handstand, Cheetos (pls sponsor), Raccoons, Jimmy Dean Breakfast Bowls, tion, and starting serious conversations about what is important to our student body. Here at Cleo, Lying About Getting Married, Ghosts, Eggs, Whatever the HELL Fallout Boy the paper, we encourage creativity and uniqueness, spark dialogue and discussion, and foster Put in That Video, WikiHow, Rejected Articles, The Broom We Don’t Have But a community where students are free to fully express themselves. NEED, The Panic Box, Shower Mold, Colleen Climbing the Eiffel Tower like King Kong, Mr. Brightside january 31, 2018 the paper page 3

College Republicans host Non-controversial Speaker by Christian Decker Dutchess County Executive Marcus Molinaro spoke at Walsh Library News Co-Editor audience in preparation for a coming put them in jail. Mr. Molinaro argued percent of professors here donate to On Tuesday night, I and my co-editor, campaign. that this was not only unconstitutional, Democratic candidates.” The answer Andrew went to check out the College Mr. Molinaro was adamant in saying but that such things should be left up was basically that you have to deal Republicans’ guest speaker, Marcus that New York is pretty much the worst to local governments entirely. with it. Another person asked would it Molinaro, over in the Walsh Library be better to combat corruption if more auditorium. It wasn’t a huge crowd, Republicans got elected. What do you but the first two rows of the middle think he’s going to say? What a guy were for the most part filled with what One good question that was asked I could only assume were the College was what the assemblyman thought of Republicans. Andrew and I sat near Governor Cuomo’s new college tuition the back of the auditorium on the left bill that would essentially make it free side, so we would get a better view of for lower income students to attend everything going on. college. Mr. Molinaro’s response was The evening started of with a that it was a terrible idea that would brief introduction by one of the “implode on itself”. His reason for this College Republicans, with the usual was that the free tuition would raise the pleasantries. After being introduced, cost of college for people who didn’t Mr. Molinaro introduced himself, fit into the income bracket to qualify made a couple jokes and told us his for the free tuition. He also reverted story. As a young man he was raised back to his earlier point that this was in Dutchess County, New York, in a done without so much as a town hall to town of around 1,300 residents. He discuss the bill, and with a Republican told us that as a young man, he was minority in the State Assembly, there displeased with the amount of refusals was nothing that could be done to he got when suggesting new ideas to in just about anything. He pointed Mr. Molinaro was also very critical of block it. the town board. As a result, he decided to the amount of people leaving the the Democratic majority in the State At the beginning of the evening it was that he should get involved in local state. The reason for this, he said, Assembly currently. His concern is said Mr. Molinaro was a strong voice for government. As luck would have it, he was the incredibly high tax rate in the that there is very little opportunity for bi-partisanship, so I asked him where was elected to the town board and then state. His biggest complaint, however, constituents to voice their opinions on he saw bi-partisanship in the higher ran unopposed to be the town’s mayor, was the lack of oversight by the state bills that are being voted on in events forms of government in this country becoming the youngest mayor in the government to handle the situation. such as public forums. As an example going forward. His answer was actually country at the time. He later served in In other words, the state government of the issue he has, he told us that per somewhat comforting. He told me that the State Assembly and was elected would just push off any and all session, the assembly votes on around now that people are starting to see the chief executive of Dutchess County problems onto the local governments. 10,000 pieces of legislation. He then the nonsense of representatives not in 2011. In his words, Governor Cuomo would proceeded to tell us that all but one of getting anything done, representatives Now as you can imagine, Mr. Molinaro just take credit for the stuff that those bills passed the assembly floor. would eventually start to actually work is a Republican, and most of his gripes went right and blame it on the local In his view, this is very undemocratic. together, so he’s optimistic. are against New York Governor Andrew governments if things went wrong. After his prepared remarks, Mr. It is worth noting that Mr. Molinaro Cuomo, a Democrat. In fact, most of his One example he gave was the issue Molinaro opened the floor to questions advocates for voters to flip sides at speaking time was devoted to attacks of the Code Blue in New York during from the audience. I have never the ballot and vote for the candidate on Governor Cuomo. This comes as harsh cold and snowy conditions. heard questions so self-righteous and that they think is the best rather than no surprise when you consider that Governor Cuomo’s method involves absolutely useless in my life. One guy just straight-ticket voting. He thinks he announced that he’s considering calling all the local governments and asked Mr. Molinaro on something this is the best way to reach effective running for governor in the future. It telling them to get the police to round to the effect of how you deal with a government representation. almost seemed like we were a test up all the homeless people outside and professor who is a liberal, because “96 page 4 the paper january 31, 2018 OutSummit Celebrates Global LGBTI+ Activism by Robin Happel CUNY Law School hosted summit on LGBTI+ Rights Copy Editor Religious Freedom within just the is very active in East Africa thus excludes two-spirit people, for OutSummit is the annual past two weeks. These are similar to especially, and American instance, or the brother boys and gathering of OutRight Action laws in my home state of Tennessee pastor Scott Lively was recently sister girls of Australia. While SOGIE International, one of just a allowing psychiatrists to turn away charged with crimes against causes form some of the U.N.’s handful of LGBTI advocacy groups LGBTI patients at will. Such a humanity for his role in inciting most controversial, clamorous with U.N. consulting status. The department sends a clear signal that possible genocide of gay men in floor debates, OutRight’s team has group addresses a kaleidoscopic hospitals can, if they so choose, turn Uganda. The Alliance Defending won some notable victories. Such range of issues, from trans rights away LGBTI people for almost any Freedom, most famed in the progress is necessarily piecemeal in in Germany, to eco-feminism in reason. states for its role in the infamous a populist age, however – recently, Fiji, to the criminalization of gay Like the former listing of Masterpiece Cakeshop Case, for example. The U.S. failed to men in East Africa and elsewhere homosexuality in the Diagnostic has both supported and ratify the U.N. Convention on the around the world. Founded Rights of the Child because in 1990 as the International it could be construed to Gay and Lesbian Human outlaw so-called ‘conversion Rights Commission, OutRight therapy,’ the physically abusive is also one of the oldest practice condemned by almost LGBTI advocacy groups in every leading global health the United States, serving as organization, yet still legal in an underwriter to countless roughly 41 states. (Somalia crucial human rights rulings, was the only other member and carries its clout with pride. state to turn down the treaty.) The summit opened with two In an age in which the panel discussions, ranging in Overton window is moving so topics from marriage equality rapidly to the right, it seems in Taiwan to American media almost easier to give up, to go representation of LGBTI people. gentle into that good night. Yet Join the Resistance! Karamo Brown, co-founder OutRight still struggles against of 6in10.org, gave a poignant the dying of the light. From the speech on censorship of LGBTI celebrated efforts to criminalize Yogyakarta Principles, to fighting stories in much of the American and Statistical Manual of Mental gay people in Russia, Belize, over footnotes in the Rome Statute, South. In the United States Disorders, such laws show how the India, and elsewhere. (ADF to arguing that the right to sanitation currently, only California explicitly healthcare system may at times claims to support artistic in the Universal Declaration of seeks to include LGBTI people be weaponized against gay men, freedom, in short, yet believes Human Rights should block future in its public school curriculum, intersex people, and others on Oscar Wilde belonged in prison.) bathroom bills, OutRight mounts and many other states explicitly society’s margins. In Kenya and other In this way, far from stemming a tireless defense of LGBTI lives censor history and health classes parts of East Africa, for instance, from an innate fear of LGBTI and dignity in an age when such with “Don’t Say Gay” laws. Brown intersex children sometimes lack people, many laws criminalizing a shield is sorely needed. While is also a passionate advocate for birth certificates, barring them from their existence are simply an such struggles seem ceaseless, in HIV awareness among black gay citizenship, and men suspected of outgrowth of imperialism, of short, OutRight seldom falters in its and bi men, a demographic still being gay are often subjected to conservative American and spirited attempt to “write ourselves disproportionately at risk of the humiliating medical exams, with the colonial British values exported into the script,” quoting Ms. May. In virus, due in large part to systemic price of failure being over a decade abroad. the words of another activist from healthcare discrimination. in prison. While homosexuality has OutSummit includes two Egypt whose name is withheld for OutRight’s emphasis on been decriminalized the United break-out sessions, the first her safety, “until the lion learns healthcare discrimination is States since the landmark Lawrence of which covers the basics of to write, every story will glorify the particularly poignant given the v. Texas ruling in 2003. American SOGIE, or ‘sexual orientation hunter.” The activists of OutRight Trump administration’s steady evangelicals form the backbone and gender identity/expression,’ seek simply to write their own story, rolling back of LGBTI healthcare of much of Africa’s most virulent the international legal term for as long as the world will let them. access with, among other homophobia, bankrolling extremists for LGBT. As Australian activist things, the creation of the HHS both at home and abroad. Pat Siri May explains, LGBT is Department of Conscience and Robertson, perhaps most famously, largely a Western term, and january 31, 2018 the paper page 5 Second Annual Women’s March marks 1 year of President Trump by Mary Freeze Continued Activism is the key to change, say female marchers Staff Feminist to the Bureau of Labor Statistics candidates to public office. March- march, which further fueled the On January 21st, 2017, hundreds Data, but whatever. ers held signs urging attendees fire for people who fear his stance of thousands of women gathered The march in New York City to “Grab ‘em by the primaries.” on abortion. together to protest the inaugura- was one of the largest with over Other signs included sayings like In New York City, protestors tion of the newly elected President 200,000 protesters. The smallest sayings like “Women’s Rights are marched down Central Park West. Donald Trump. On the first anni- march was held in a rural town in Human’s Rights.” People also There was a wide array of ages versary of what is now known as Nova Scotia, Canada consisting chanted to show their feelings of in attendance, ranging from new the Women’s March, protestors of 32 people, which is actually discontent with the Trump admin- born babies to women who had to again took to the streets wearing double the number of protesters istration and the way the admin- be pushed in wheelchairs. There pink “Pussy Hats” in major cities that attended last year. This year, istration views and treats women. were some fathers there, hold- and small towns to protest the the Women’s March protested not Many women showed up dressed ing signs that said things like “I 45th president. Trump addressed only the Trump administration, as Handmaids from Margaret At- march for my daughters.” Even the march in a tweet, stating that but also promoted the Time’s Up wood’s novel The Handmaids Tale with some men in attendance, it was a “perfect day to get out and #MeToo movements. Both to express their fear that Trump the march was still predominantly there and celebrate the historic movements began as responses is going to infringe on their repro- female. milestones and unprecedented to the discoveries of the rampant ductive rights. Additionally, the While the Women’s March does economic success that has taken sexual abuse and assault in the Women’s March was held only one present a unified front against place over the last twelve months. film industry. A major component day after the 45th annual Right clear impediments on women’s Lowest female unemployment rate of the march was also “Power to for Life, an annual pro-life march rights, which have come very far in 18 years!” However, the female the Polls,” which aims to elect held in Washington, D.C. Trump is and still have a long way to go. unemployment rate has been fall- more women and progressive the first president to address the ing steadily since 2012 according Dispatches from the French Homefront: Quick Observations by Colleen Burns Our Editor-in-Chief is studying abroad, but still writing for us Editor-in-Chief haps risk less than perfect service. example that would most likely drive look is extremely useful and applicable 1) Smoking: It is true! People in Side note: Bonjour becomes Bonsoir in the average American wild: Paying rent to special events or everyday life sce- France smoke! Like a lot! This isn’t re- the evening. You will mess up. You will does not have a specific deadline and narios such as job interviews, grocery ally news! MTV worked really hard to seem stupid. You may get better. is completed in person. This wouldn’t shopping, people watching, pretending educate children in the U.S. about the 3) French people do not pick up af- be a big a deal if the landlord was ac- to ignore hot guys at Dunkin Donuts, dangers of smoking, but their efforts ter their dogs: I don’t understand why tually around during the scheduled and your little brother’s girlfriend’s were not received well in France be- there is dog shit everywhere! Clean times. Also, don’t expect a response birthday party! cause these cancer sticks are clearly up after your dogs! France is a beau- to any email inquiries right away. Life 6) Rudeness: BREAKING NEWS still as prominent as ever! It’s silly how tiful country with in France is slower just FRENCH PEOPLE ARE NOT RUDE. If you a country filled with such tasty food is breathtaking cities like its wifi, which isn’t think French people are rude, you have willing to destroy their taste buds (AND and architecture, always a bad thing un- made one or both of these mistakes: LUNGS) for a quick drag. It should also but don’t be sur- less you have a research You have not taken the time to under- be noted that French people vape. Yes, prised if you step paper due Monday. stand a culture different from your own this dumb as crap social phenomenon in a puppy’s pres- Their blasé lifestyle also OR you spent too much time in Paris. managed to make it to the country of ent outside a deli- explains why places France definitely has its own serious croissants and baguettes. More mar- cious patisserie! close for hour long lunch problems surrounding topics of immi- keting material for MTV! This observation is breaks and usually close gration and laïcité and so forth. Howev- 2) Bonjour: Saying hello is a complex particularly confus- for the day between 6pm er, those issues mainly apply to people aspect of formal etiquette in France. ing because French and 8pm. who live in France, not tourists. If you For example, you say “bonjour” to the people seem to 5)Appearance: French feel French people are rude, perhaps people you pass in your residence. If value health and people do in fact look you are unknowingly being rude as well you don’t, it’s extremely impolite ; how- cleanliness a lot. Why doesn’t this ap- French. Is it their faces? Is it their (see number 2 for example). As for Par- ever, you do NOT need to say hello to ply to your dog’s poop? cool glasses? Maybe it’s their couture is, it is one of the TOP tourist destina- the people you pass on the street. That 4) Blasé everything: French people sense of style? This still has yet to be tions in the world. If you worked there is seen as odd and unnecessary. How- are blasé about everything. So blasé determined, but French people defi- serving annoying unaware tourists, you ever, you should greet employees with in fact that there is not an adequate nitely have their own distinguishing would be a little snarky too. France a “bonjour” upon entering a store or English word to describe this promi- look that says, “Im better than you, but has a complex culture and society that else you’ll seem super rude and per- nent French attribute. Here are a few let’s not make a big deal about it.” This should not be generalized as rude. page 6 the paper january 31, 2018 Faker than You’re a Piece of Sh*t, Larry Nassar by Rachel Poe Trigger warnings for rape and sexual assault Truth Opinions Deaditor victims claims of assault where just Times, an investigation conducted for By Christian Decker On Wednesday, former USA “misunderstandings” as the girls were the university found no that university Gymnastics and Michigan State “not comfortable with their bodies” administrators had knowledge of the physician Larry Nassar was sentenced and “didn’t understand medical abuse. Yet, the Detroit News reported Meninists start “Men’s March” as to 40 to 175 years in prison for multiple procedures.” One coach from USAG that at least 14 administrators were the Anti-Women’s march sex crimes against young women in his told the court of the immense guilt he aware of the allegations and that Dr. care in addition to a 60 year sentence felt for sending countless girls Nassar’s Simon knew of the Title IX investigation Ever since the feminist move- for child pornography. Nassar’s abuse way over the years. against “an unnamed sports medicine ment became prominent on the spanned over 20 years and affected These drastic numbers can also be doctor in 2014.” Unfortunately, Simon Internet and many social media over 150 women. According to The contributed to the therapeutic words has the option to return to an academic sites, a new men’s rights activist or New York Times, he was considered the of the victims’ fiercest advocate, Judge position where she can take a 12-month “meninist” group has sprung up to “must-see” doctor for female gymnasts. Rosemarie Aquilina. Judge Aquilina leave of absence for “research.” During voice their opinions nobody asked Prior to his sentencing, Nassar pled vowed to let every victim who wanted this leave, she will still be making her for. Many claim to be advocates for guilty to 10 counts of criminal sexual to speak have the opportunity to do $750,000 salary, which is one of the specific issues related to men, but misconduct. The women who accused so. She even dismissed Nassar’s highest current salaries for university mostly just attempt to troll femist Nassar of sexual assault include letter which claimed that he could not presidents. accounts on Twitter and Instagram. Olympic gold medalists, athletes who “mentally handle” four days of victim USA Gymnastics’ board is also Wiht the recent success of the attended Michigan State, and a “family statements. Additionally, she was set to comply with the US Olympics Women’s March on Washington, friend” who says her abuse started at making the trial into a media circus to Committee’s request for resignations and all around the U.S., the menin- the age of 6. fuel her own ego. Judge Aquilina said amid the scandal. Five board members ists have decided to start their own The investigation into Nassar Nassar having to sit through a couple have already resigned. In a recent BBC march to prove how absolutely un- reportedly started in 2015, after two days of victims statements was minor article, the USAG admitted to “dragging eeded their opinions are. Starting gymnasts from within USA Gymnastics compared to the trauma he inflicted on its feet” when it came to alerting on exactly 4:20, neckbeards and came forward. Nassar was relieved his victims over the past 20 years. authorities to Nassar’s crimes in 2015 fedora wearing men will take to the from his position that summer. Nassar There is no doubt that Nassar is the when two gymnasts came forward with streets to protest a march that lit- wasn’t removed from his clinical only one to blame for his horrid actions, accusations. In a statement, USAG erally does not effect them in the position at Michigan State until 2016 but contingently, one has to question acknowledged that it was time for a slightest. New signs are said to read and was fired later that year. how such a high profile individual was change within the organization and “men are better at everything” and able to continue these crimes for so long they were “looking forward” to working “make me a sandwich”, as well as “The army you chose without any sort of repercussions. Amid with the USOC to improve. a plethora of other horrifically sex- Nassar’s sentencing hearings, attention In the end, at least some good ist rhetoric. one of the leaders of in the late ’90s to has been turned to the institutions came out of these horrendous crimes. the “Men’s March”, Mitch McBride, who possibly protected him for the Justice was served and the victims outlined his goals for this gathering. silence me, to dismiss past twenty years: Michigan State and were given a platform to speak their “Basically I have literally nothing me and my attempt at USA Gymnastics. Michigan’s Attorney truth. As Aly Raisman, gymnast and better to do until the next Fallout General Bill Schuette announced on six-time Olympic medalists, said, “Let game comes out, so yeah.” Ru- speaking the truth, Saturday that a special prosecution this sentence strike fear in anyone who moured guest speakers include Mel will be investigating Michigan State thinks it is O.K. to hurt another person. Gibson, Harvey Weinstein, Steve will not prevail over from “the President’s Office down” to Abusers, your time is up. The survivors Wynn, Steve Bannon, and President find how Nassar was able to continue are here, standing tall, and we are not Donald Trump, himself. The march the army you created this abuse for 20 years without any going anywhere.” is said to last about until Sean when violating us.” sort of acknowledgement from the Hannity is on Fox with about 1,000 administration. “My department... will “Little girls don’t basement dwellers expected to be -Tiffany Thomas find out who knew what and when, who in attendance. Apparently marhces stay little forever. Lopez, softball player took action, who failed to take action, are being organized all over the what did or did not happen, and what They grow into strong U.S. with at least 20 people going at MSU should have happened,” Schuette said, to each individual event. The march During the past week, nearly 150 “No individual and no department at women that return to in Washington D.C. is expected to survivors, coaches, and parents came Michigan State University is off limits.” have the most attendants out of all to the sentencing hearing to confront The investigation reportedly started destroy your world.” the marches with 200 said to be Nassar and share their victim impact last year but only now is the Attorney -Kyle Stephens, in fron of the Capitol hill. No word statements- twice the amount of those General revealing how far-reaching it yet on whether police, firemen, or who were originally scheduled to appear. will be. family friend Emergency services will be bother- A common theme present throughout Michigan State President Lou Anna ing to attend to help these men in many of the statements was that of Simon resigned on Wednesday, January their protests. Nassar’s manipulation and abuse of 24th, as questions are being raised power and trust. Nassar reportedly about the university’s handling of the told parents and other officials that his scandal. According to The New York january 31, 2018 the paper page 7 How RuPaul Has Changed Societal Standards Realer by Claire Nunez Popular show has made drag less taboo Editor-in-Chief personalities, and super Every queen who has been on Drag Than Fact RuPaul Charles is voluptuous queens working the Race is unapologetically herself and inarguably the biggest name in clubs. Now, the world of drag changing the face of drag in her own By Claire Nunez drag. There is no question about is considered a part of the new way. These drag queens have also it. This past week, the premiere art scene. After queens like opened up a political discussion. Chickens deserve obituaries too. of RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Alaska, Sharon Needles, Sasha During the 2016 election, RuPaul 3 happened and I have a lot of Everything is bigger in Texas, Velour Fierce, and my personal and her gang made a huge ruckus including the love of chickens. The have a lot of feelings about it, but favorite, Violet Chachki; drag on the television show and on social other day, The Eagle newspaper I am just here to let you know that has become an artform and media. Many of them could also be published an obituary for the late, RuPaul has changed the world of even more of a pastime. Today, found advocating for the rights of Big Mama, a six-year-old Rhode drag-- for the better. you will find pieces of art working marginalized communities at rallies, Island Red. I am not entirely sure If you have never seen in drag clubs. They are some their shows, or on social media. as to what that means, but like, RuPaul’s show, it is essentially of the most incredible people This has been another way that she was a good looking chicken a bunch of drag queens from all I suppose. She had a lot of fluffy you will ever meet and they are drag queens have been changing feathers that made her look super over the U.S. and Puerto Rico transforming the way we see the world for the better. regal and poweful. competing in a Project Runway- Drag queens take extraordinary The thing about Big Mama is esque, America’s Next Top risks to serve as role models for that she was a really good egg of Model-ish fashion. It is a beautiful a great majority of people. These a chicken. She grew up in a tiny mess of fake eyelashes, butt incredible humans spend so apartment and the family who pads and duct tape. RuPaul’s much money to make themselves owned her did not want to keep her reality television show, which is so they were going to euthanize into the most beautiful women her. It is so sad! So the vet was on Logo TV, the LGBTQ+ network anyone has ever seen, to buy wigs, like, “hey, I will take this chicken from Viacom; grew a lot faster to buy the amazing costumes and find someone to love her!” And than anyone expected. There they wear for their shows. They guess what, the vet found a loving have been nine seasons, three also go through a lot of emotional family. All Stars, and it is currently one trauma. Many drag queens on Big Mama was then adopted of the most watched shows on Drag Race discuss how their by the Sword family. Big Mama any of Viacom’s networks. No then was given the best life ever. families do not accept them, or She could walk around and play one thought that a drag queen how they have to perform drag in the grass and just live life as a would be able to get so many drag queens. Some of them in secret. These queens have chicken should. The interesting views. It is absolutely incredible. are not even remotely-female overcome such adversity and, thing about Big Mama is that she No one ever thought the show looking; they are just eccentric earlier in drag history, these queens was spayed and couldn’t lay eggs. would be on for as long as it has characters with very specific struggled even more. Even though she was different, she been, due to the “controversial” personalities and looks. RuPaul has changed the social was accepted by the Sword family’s nature of the show. Apparently, flock and she led a very fulfilling Drag has transformed from status of drag in the mainstream. His life. She was basically a companion people were scared of drag a somewhat taboo job that show has changed the way we see chicken, which I find super queens-- I do not understand involves secrecy and danger drag queens and has transformed interesting because...who the heck why. Maybe it is the concept to a pathway to fame. RuPaul the drag scene in general. It is not has a companion chicken? Big of a man in a dress that scares has provided an outlet for the same. It is a true artform that Mama passed away in her sleep them. Or perhaps it is the fact some of the most-talented is changing with each new season and the family then submitted an that these queens are just so drag queens to show a greater of Drag Race. It is also incredibly obituary to their local newspaper. hecking beautiful. Oh wait, it is Big Mama was a well, hecking, audience their talents. This beautiful to see how our world is loved chicken and she deserved to absolutely because they duct in turn has made drag less changing with each season of this be recognized. tape for tucking. That is some taboo. All of the queens from show. It is actually unbelievable Big Mama, you will not be scary stuff, I’ll admit. I would not the past nine seasons have that a simple reality show about a forgotten-- even by us chicken- want to duct tape any part of my provided examples for people drag queen is making real social less editors in New York City. May body. ashamed of their identities. The changes. Now, let’s just hope the your feathery legacy continue on If you went out into the New celebrity status of these queens Kardashians don’t suddenly shake into the far future, and may your time clucking in the afterlife be York drag scene just a few has given those who consider up our societal standards. years ago, you would find a lot themselves different someone of impersonators, big-lipped to look up to. page 8 the paper january 31, 2018 With Steve Wynn, No One Wins: Finance Chair Resigns From RNC by Andrew Millman Casino billionaire Steve Wynn accused of sexual harassment and abuse News Co-Editor capitalization. This means that his Nevada gambling industry. He shifted Many Democrats donated amounts Last week, The Wall Street Journal wife lost a substantial amount of to primarily supporting Republicans equivalent to their Weinstein donations to published a report on casino mogul money as well, so it would not make after the passage of Obamacare and charity. The Republicans have so far been Steve Wynn, after speaking to over sense for her to have been the source was a top financial supporter of Donald silent on the Wynn scandal, highlighting 150 current and former employees. of this. Furthermore, the Journal Trump’s presidential campaign. He the growing divide between the two parties’ The article accused Wynn, one of contacted over 150 people for the was the co-chair, along with fellow reactions to the #MeToo movement. the most prominent casino owners article, none of whom reached out casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, of Democrats accused of harassment, in Las Vegas, of sexual harassment to the newspaper first. Also, the Trump’s inauguration committee. He including Senator Al Franken (D-MN) and abuse of multiple women over Wynn Resorts board of directions has also been a top donor to Senator and Representative John Conyers (D-MI), many years. The report also detailed has launched an investigation Dean Heller (R-NV) and the Republican have been forced to resign. Republicans, Wynn’s $7.5 million settlement with on the other hand continued to support a former employee, who accused Roy Moore’s failed senate campaign him of coercing her into having sex after several credible allegations of child with him in 2005. Wynn is accused of molestation. Rep. Pat Meehan (R-PA) had harassing numerous employees. The been a top supporter of the congressional Journal reports that female employees effort to combat harassment, until it would have nervous breakdowns, was recently discovered that he sexually hide in bathrooms, or outright refuse harassed a staff member. He has since when Wynn requested to see them. announced that he will not seek reelection. The Journal has reported that Since the start of the #MeToo movement these allegations go back decades, in October, revelations of sexual misconduct and the article details a horrific have come out against one senator, workplace environment in which the Al Franken; and seven congressmen, harassment and abuse took place. including Conyers and Meehan, in addition Wynn, who is the CEO and chairman to Blake Farenthold (R-TX), Trent Franks (R- When you realize you got of Wynn Resorts, is accused of AZ), Alcee Hastings (D-FL), Ruben Kihuen caught regularly pressuring some employees (D-NV) and Eric Massa (D-NY). There have to perform sex acts with him. The also been allegations against dozens of main targets of Wynn’s harassment state and local officials in at least seventeen were the casino’s massage therapists, into the actions of their chairman. Party’s various fundraising groups, states. There also remain the nineteen whom he would regularly have in his The revelations are the latest in including the Republican National women who have accused President Trump office alone with him. According to the ongoing #MeToo movement, Committee, Republican National of sexual misconduct. On Saturday, January the Journal, the billionaire’s German which has been a focus of national Senatorial Committee, and National 27th, Steve Wynn resigned as the RNC’s Shepherd dogs, who were trained to attention since the allegations Republican Congressional Committee. finance chairman, but that will not be the respond to his commands in German, against Harvey Weinstein were made Democrats have already seized on the end of the Republicans’ problems. Wynn were ubiquitous in his office and public. Steve Wynn is probably one of opportunity to criticize Republicans, who gave millions to Republican candidates, intimidated many of the women. Wynn the most prominent and influential vocally called for the Democrats to return including vulnerable incumbents such as has denied all of the allegations, people to be accused of sexual all of Harvey Weinstein’s donations, or Dean Heller. Also, if credible allegations claiming that they are the work of misconduct. In addition to being a donate the money to charity. In October, of sexual misconduct are enough to his ex-wife Elaine Wynn, with whom billionaire casino mogul, Wynn is RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel said, force the RNC finance chairman to he is in a prolonged legal battle over also the finance chairman of the “if you stand for treating women well and resign, then equally-credible allegations her shares in his company. However, Republican National Committee, you stand for the respect of women, you should have some consequences for Wynn Resorts’ stock value dropped and responsible for the party’s shouldn’t take money from someone who the president of the United States, over 10% on Friday when the article fundraising operation. Wynn has treated women with the absolute highest but that has not been the case so far. was first published. This took over previously donated to both parties, level of disrespect,” about Democrats $2 billion off the company’s market a necessity in the highly-regulated who accepted donations from Weinstein. january 31, 2018 the paper page 9

The Hygge Life is the Best Life: How to be Danish at Home By Kirsten Nolan Staff Great Dane Hygge honey, is the best thing ever If you are like me and spend an trying to make my Danish host mom to that documenting my hygge night on ago an ad came up on my Instagram embarrassing amount of time stalking explain it to me, I have no idea when social media took away from the hygge- for what this company was calling lifestyle bloggers on social media, you to use which version of the word, so I ness of it all. Instead, being present hygge workout attire. I scoffed because are bound to have come across the am sticking to the now-Americanized and partaking in good conversation working out and hygge are essentially Danish word “hygge.” Or maybe you “hygge.” with the people you’re closest to is opposites. I’m sure the workout clothes saw it on a hardcover book in Barnes To create a hygge atmosphere, there what makes an environment more are softer and cozier than your average & Noble, and intrigued, you picked it are some essential elements. You want hygge. Drinking a hot cup of tea, Lululemon leggings, but they are up only to learn that the small book the lighting to be dim in order to set coffee, or maybe a having a few beers certainly not hygge when the concept costs a whopping twenty dollars and the mood. Fluorescent lighting is an with your friends also contributes to a of working out stands against some of it is ridiculous to put that price tag absolute no-no, so if you are trying to hygge setting. Indulging in a delicious the best parts of a hygge atmosphere– on something like hygge, which really turn your dorm into a magical hygge pastry is also a major key, if you let sitting and eating desserts. should cost no money at all. Whether or enclave you will have to buy some fairy me quote DJ Khaled. Finally, wearing It is really quite simple to create a not you have heard of the word “hygge” lights ASAP and never turn your light comfortable clothes (think thick woolen hygge environment for yourself and I before reading this article, you are switch in your room on again. Maybe socks and cozy sweaters) while tucked highly recommend it. And truthfully, probably confused by it. Hygge cannot even defy Fordham Res Life and light under warm blankets is the icing on the from what I could tell at least, Danish be easily translated into English, but yourself a few candles. Just please do hygge cake. people basically call some Danish people have described not set your dorm on fire. That would any good time with it as being “consciously cozy” or not be very hygge. Next, you should friends “hygge,” but something that is warm and intimate. I have your closest friends and/or family the specifics of a just came back from studying abroad in around you and your electronics should hygge atmosphere Denmark for four months, where I lived be tucked away. Phones, laptops, iPads, are fun to create. with a Danish family in the suburbs television, etc. all diminish a hygge If you want to have outside of Copenhagen, so I like to atmosphere. I will admit that many of an authentic hygge think I know a thing or two about hygge. my hygge nights while I was abroad experience, turn on I have basically become an American were documented on my Instagram your electric kettle, ambassador for hygge and I am here to story, but I am conscious of the fact pour yourself a impart my Danish knowledge on your cup of tea, sit with ignorant American brain. I have basically be- your closest friends First of all, when trying to pronounce and/or family and the word, throw everything you know come an American just chat away about pronouncing things out the ambassador for hy- about nothing and window. It’s pronounced like “hoo- everything. Hygge gah.” Not “hig-gee.” Not “high-gee.” gge and I am here is all about being But “hoo-gah.” I will never be able to comfortable, warm, pronounce the word exactly, because to impart my Danish and having a nice Danish people swallow their vowels knowledge on your Now, you should not try too hard time. It is the perfect escape from the when they speak, and it is an accent to create a hygge situation. A lot of mind-numbing hours that we (or maybe I find impossible to mimic, but I know ignorant American American bloggers try to come up with it’s just me) spend scrolling through that saying “hoo-gah” is as good as all different ways to “be hygge” and they Instagram, mocking the fake perfect our American tongues are going to get brain. market their brands as “hygge,” but lives of people who think there can be at it. There is also an adverb form of really hygge is more of a feeling than hygge workout clothes. the word: “hyggeligt,” but even after a product. For instance, a few weeks page 10 the paper january 31, 2018 The Worst Fans in the WORLD By Jack Archambault Like, go sports or whatever Opinions Co-Editor think football and baseball are too chance to beat VCU or URI is as good made the NCAA tournament since It’s rare that the paper ventures into long, fine. I might disagree, but I won’t as it gets. So when that happens, I 1992, and since then has finished the world of sports. And by rare, I mean argue. But that argument falls flat don’t know, maybe stand up and yell. with a winning record only twice. Its almost never. But as a dedicated fan when it comes to basketball. Games Or at least do something other than only NBA player in that span was the of Fordham basketball who also has last two hours, max, and unlike sit on your hands. Seriously, Fordham immortal Smush Parker, a player access to a printing press, it is my football or baseball, basketball is a students at a basketball game are most famous for oversleeping and constitutional duty to put everyone like people missing a Lakers team flight, being on blast for the apathy that surrounds in London hated by Kobe Bryant, and y’know, the basketball teams at this school. watching being named Smush. To cap it all off, I understand that not everyone is football head coach Jeff Neubauer is most going to share my enthusiasm for when the famous for cheating on his wife with middle-of-the-road college hoops, but NFL first a woman named Martina who he met a 3,200-seat gym should not be as started in Prague. None of this is to say that hard to fill as we make it seem here at playing people shouldn’t go to the games, Fordham. Furthermore, I truly believe games but I can understand the reluctance that a packed house at the Rose Hill there. to embrace a team whose coach Gym would make for one of the more They just has more mistresses than winning unique and electric environments in don’t seem seasons. But that argument hits a college basketball. very accessible sport. By that I mean to fully understand what they’re wall when applied to the women’s I was at the men’s game against everyone pretty much gets it. There watching and end up cheering for all team. Rhode Island last Wednesday, and I is no reason to leave a basketball the wrong things. Like pizza. Speaking I know there is a weird stigma have to say, we almost got it right. The game early. None. At halftime on of which… attached to women’s sports, that “white out” was a fun idea from the Wednesday, students were flocking 3. You can’t be at your loudest they are somehow less entertaining athletics department, and even if the for the exits like someone just told during the Pugsley’s Pizza Giveaway® and enjoyable to watch. While you shirts were objectively terrible, it did them Vineyard Vines was having a This one is hard for me because won’t see anyone dunking at a seem to result in more students at half-off sale in the lobby. What’s even I love pizza, too. But if you’re at a women’s game, you probably won’t the game. Even if half the fans were worse, IT WAS A CLOSE GAME!! We basketball game, the whole idea is to at a Fordham men’s game, either, so cheering for URI, seeing the gym 70% had played a top-25 team extremely root for your team. Therefore, it would what’s the difference? The Fordham full was refreshing, and it created tough in the first half, gutting through be nice if the fans who are absolutely women, though, are 16-5, and 3rd a big-game atmosphere. Still, I did some big injuries to keep it within rabid during the pizza toss would in the Atlantic 10 with a real chance say we almost got it right, because single-digits. You can’t leave yet! You show a similar level of enthusiasm to win it. G’mrice Davis and Bre the students who showed up at the don’t know what’s going to happen! when Perris Hicks drains a 3 from the Cavanaugh are two of the best players game seemed like they would rather If it’s halftime and the game is still corner. in the conference and have a nice be anywhere else. With that, I’d like within reach, you can’t leave. If you really hate basketball, fine. I Shaq-Kobe vibe. My point is, if it’s a to present my rules for attending a 2. At least act a little excited can’t make you like it. But I know for a good team that fans want, they’ve got Fordham basketball game: I first realized this during last fact that there are enough basketball one in the Fordham women. They’re 1. No leaving at halftime January’s game against VCU (a game fans here to give the games some a team that deserves better than I know, I get it, sports are looong, Fordham won, by the way) when kind of atmosphere. And I also the turnout they get, so get out and and boooring, and…Wait! I don’t get we were leading late in the second understand that rooting for Fordham #showyaluv for the Rams. it at all! There’s a reason I’m writing half and each Fordham basket was men’s basketball can be tough this article about basketball games greeted by a polite round of applause. sometimes ... Okay, try borderline and not football or baseball. If you For Fordham basketball, having a impossible. The program hasn’t january 31, 2018 the paper page 11 The Feminist Pro-Life Movement is Real and It’s Everything By Hillary Bosch Breaking news: empowering women is important Opinions Co-Editor the relative lack of media coverage, is that people are realizing that for helping women recover from was a massive success with overturning Roe v. Wade tomorrow abortions because anyone who knows Have you ever heard of the hundreds of thousands of attendees. will not end abortion, but rather just the reality of abortion, pro-whatever, feminist pro-life movement? Although many in attendance hailed make it dangerous and set us back can recognize it as a human tragedy Probably not. It’s incredibly niche from churches and conservative half a century. Shocker. and potentially one of the most and often overshadowed by its activist groups, it would be wrong to Instead, the progressive pro-life distressing experiences one can face. more vocal Bible-thumping, shame- stereotype all marchers as members movement is focusing its efforts Colleges and universities around the shouting counterparts. Although the of these groups. Every year, feminist on three fronts: preventative, post- country are also working to offer more progressive pro-life movement shares pro-life groups bring thousands of natal, and social. On the preventative resources such as childcare and an end goal with the rest of the anti- their supporters in only increasing side, they work to provide access to family friendly environments. abortion movement, it dramatically numbers, including the Fordham birth control, real sex education, and It also means everyone, Bible- differs in its mission and offers a Respect for Life club. fighting rape culture. According to the thumping pro-lifers including, working modern, compassionate perspective If your goal is to help women in Guttmacher Institute, 75% of women to create a world “in which pregnancy, to a 45 year old issue that has divided desperate situations (which it always seeking abortions live in poverty, motherhood, and birth are accepted the country. should be??), then the goal should meaning that one facet of ending and supported.” This includes more As millennials who grew up in not be to make abortion illegal but abortion is also working to help breast-feeding friendly businesses, conservative households reach entirely obsolete; this means not women (and men) out of poverty. working for paid maternity AND college age, many grapple to fighting the women involved, but This ties into advocating for paternity leave, and treating women reconcile their pro-life upbringing with fighting the reasons they have to improved post-natal resources as with unexpected pregnancies with the modern social justice movements. As make such a heart-wrenching choice well; no parent should ever be forced respect and dignity they deserve at a graduate of an all-girls Catholic high in the first place. The feminist pro- to choose between their pregnancy every point in their lives. That means school, the pro-life cause was drilled life movement, as described on and financial survival. Childcare, not gossiping about the girl from into me with graphic testimonials and the Feminists for Life webpage, post-natal medical bills, and simply high school that “got knocked up,” even more graphic photos. It became is “dedicated to systematically the day-to-day necessities of caring but empowering her. That means not cool and almost expected for people to eliminating the root causes that drive for a newborn add up to a hefty bill. shaming young mothers but rather join the Pro-Life Club, and even cooler women to abortion — primarily lack A common critique of the pro-life offering warmth and understanding. if you were able to snatch a coveted of practical resources and support movement is that it purports to be The goal of changing the “hearts spot on the bus that drove up to the — through holistic, woman-centered pro-life, but often is only “pro-birth,” and minds” of society is perhaps the annual March for Life in Washington, solutions.” Basically what this means and honestly this assessment is most difficult, but arguably the most D.C. My high school friends and I warranted based on the current important if we are to end the social have had countless discussions over The main goal of the message being blasted by pro-life pressures and expectations that push the years about finding our place in progressivepro-life move- leaders (@realDonaldTrump). women into abortion. current social movements; can we ment is not to make abor- However, many pro-life organizations I get that this was a lot of information, march in the women’s march but are realizing this and trying to tackle sorry not sorry. But to recap, the still be pro-life? Can we argue for tion illegal ASAP, but to this problem. For example, the Sisters main goal of the progressive pro-life refugees, immigration reform, and end the economic, social, of Life in New York offer free daycare movement is not to make abortion other typically “progressive” issues and cultural pressures services for working mothers, and illegal ASAP, but to end the economic, while harboring what our university also has an office dedicated to social, and cultural pressures that colleagues would call a backwards or that drive women to that helping pregnant women get the drive women to that decision in the hateful opinion? decision in the first place. information and resources they need. first place. Isn’t that everyone’s goal, That same annual march was held Additionally, they have an office solely pro-choice or pro-life? last week on January 19 and, despite page 12 the paper january 31, 2018 What’s the Deal with this Tide Pod Challenge?! By Cadila Vaz Tide Pods: Not Even Once Staff Laundry Lady of 2017 sparked a fascination with more laundry with fewer Tide Pods. If (although I’ve never seen a Tide Pod in Most people usually start a new year “forbidden snacks,” colorful objects that’s what you thought it was, I have real life), it’d be cooler to try eating a off by aiming to accomplish certain that are not meant to be consumed, sad news for you. In this challenge, nice warm bowl of lava, or munching goals, like working out more, traveling but meant to serve their purpose, such kids aren’t trying to get their chores on a bath bomb. Actually planning to the world, or actually staying on top as doing laudry (Tide Pods), enhancing done faster, they’re actually attempting eat a Tide Pod, filming the experience, of their homework assignments for your bath experience (Lush Bath to eat Tide Pods. Yes, people are and then uploading it to the Internet once. These are all good natured, self Bombs), playing board games (D&D deliberately eating Tide Pods, despite once you have flushed enough of the improving goals to look forward to in dice), or forming rocks (lava). warnings on the packaging and chemicals out of your mouth seems a the first weeks of the year. After all, I love a good meme, and I honestly common sense. Surprisingly, putting a bit extra. a new year is a clean slate. Alas, now thought everything was going fine at packet of chemicals in your mouth isn’t I have some questions in regard January is almost over and I’m already first. Then I heard my local news channel all it’s cracked up to be. to the Tide Pod Challenge: Why is it slacking off on my homework. In spite talking about the dangers of something Some have drawn the connection exclusively Tide Pods? Are there no of that, I’m fine with bringing my old known as the Tide Pod Challenge. I between the bright colors of Tide other detergent capsules? Is this a PR habits into the new year, because in hate my local news channel, so I try Pods and childhood snacks like Fruit stunt by Procter and Gamble? Are they the grand scheme of things, not doing my best to tune out their newscasts, Gushers. Being attracted to bright food working alongside the government to your homework in a timely manner but this caught my attention. Normally is a natural instinct to differentiate brainwash the youth and administer isn’t the worst thing. But you know the news only brings up old news, but between ripe and unripe foods. brain control technology with swiftness what really should have been left in this was my first time hearing of the However, I don’t see the appeal of Tide (cum celeriter for all my Latin homies)? 2017? Tide Pod memes. Sure they Tide Pod Challenge, and if reading this Pods. They’re just blue and white or Or is it a form of population control? were funny at first, but they quickly got article is your first time hearing of the orange and white squares, Out of all If you are genuinely considering out of hand and led to the birth of the Tide Pod Challenge, bless you. the things you would try to eat, Tide consuming a Tide Pod, you might as Tide Pod Challenge. Now it’d be nice to imagine that this Pods are lackluster. While I understand well pour yourself a nice cool glass of If you’re unfamiliar, the last few weeks is just a challenge to see who can wash that Tide Pods must be fairly accessible Clorox Bleach. I’ve got 95 Problems and Martin Luther is One By Katelynn Browne Martin Luther is my Toby Flenderson Features & Lists Co-Editor homes, synagogues and schools of He’s like the Geico Gecko, always I am so tired of hearing about Martin Luther isn’t so bad - he was Jews, and to show them no mercy. watching me, always waiting to slam Martin Luther and his 95 theses. just a guy who saw a problem, wrote Yikes. dunk his 95 theses into my skull. Like, look. I get it. It was revolutionary his opinion on that problem, and tried Aside from the Anti-Semitism, Hearing about Martin Luther has and important because of how fast it to spark positive change in the world. I’m tired of hearing about Martin become similar to my hatred of the was circulated due to the advent of What’s so wrong with that? “Problematic” Luther because band Foster the People (they sang the printing press, the formation of But then I got to college. And somehow he seeped into my the Pumped up Kicks which is a good Protestantism as a massive religious turns out, Martin Luther is highly communications courses, more song and they are a good band and force, calling the Catholic Church out problematic. For example, he was a specifically, into my Social Media the reason I hate them is because on its bullshit, and it allegedly being a massive anti-Semite, which I learned course. when I was a freshman in high school, form of proto-social media. I get it. He in both required theology courses I This was it. This was the line. It’s one my friend’s grandma drove us 1hr did some pretty revolutionary stuff. thing talking about his importance as 45mins down to New Jersey to meet But oh my God. I get it. someone who altered the Catholic our favorite author, who didn’t show Having gone to Catholic school Church and changed the course of up to the meet and greet because he my whole life (sixteen years and Western religion in theology class and got sick, and he was not a massively counting), I grew up learning about relevant historical discussions, but famous author or anything so there Martin Luther quite frequently, and when Martin Luther comes up in my was no way for the bookstore to notify that it was his fault that there are social media course I McFreakin’ lost us, so we drove home, and the whole Protestants. And while I have no it. (Martin Luther in MY social media time on both trips, my friend played problem with Protestants (because class? It’s more often than you think.) her Foster the People CD, and also why would I?) I was not a tremendous The writer of the article we read for did not talk to me that much because fan of Martin Luther as a child class argued that Martin Luther’s she was in the front seat with her because I hate when changes such nailing his 95 theses to the door of grandma, leaving me alone in the as massive Church schisms occur. that Church was like him posting his backseat.) But he always confused me, because opinions on someone’s Facebook So, I can’t listen to the Pumped Up he had some good ideas - like having wall, and everyone buying pamphlets Kicks without shuddering mildly, and the Church not sell indulgences, and Kinda ugly too, tbh of it was like people sharing his post. soon, too will I not be able to be taught that priests should all be educated Which is an interesting idea but it about Martin Luther without my mind in the same way so they don’t teach makes me very irrationally angry! yelling a soft, Michael Scott “No, God blasphemies to the uneducated took here. He wrote a book called “On Because I cannot! Escape! Martin please, no. No. Noooooooo.” at the German pauper. And, so when I was the Jews and Their Lies,” in which he Luther! Everywhere I turn he’s there! return of Toby Flenderson. in high school, I thought, hey, maybe encourages Christians to burn the january 31, 2018 the paper page 13

the paper’s view Ask Bob and Judy

So I am the captain now. Giving advice to a lost generation

Hey, so my name is Claire. I am one of the new Editors-in-Chief. My co-editor is Colleen. Colleen is in France. I miss Colleen. She is a good egg Q: What is lube and how do you use it? and I have not seen her in a year because I was living in Amsterdam. That was cool, ya know? But here I am with Michael Jack. We are currently just Bob: Well kids, if you want to know about chang- sitting with our new baby editors trying to get this print edition out. These new editors are some good eggs. I am excited and proud of them! Go you ing your car’s oil, you’ve come to the right place! I’ve guys! been taking care of my wood-paneled station wagon Oh wait, I didn’t introduce myself. I am a junior. My majors are for years now, and I’ll tell ya, she just purrs. Know- Political Science and New Media & Digital Design. That pretty much means I can talk about stuff and draw stuff on the computer. I like cats and I can ing how to change your oil is a lost art, and as Judy cook a real mean and lean sweet potato. Michael Jack, how mean is my will tell ya, nothing turns a woman on like a man who sweet potato cooking? Sorry, MJJM can’t come to the phone to answer knows his cars. I hope that answers your question, that question right now. Oh why? He’s too busy eating the sweet potatoes I cooked for our staff. kiddo. So this is our view on stuff that is going on. I just want to say I think Judy: Lube is for floozies. Get a Bible. You know what the world is kinda on fire and it is not in the good Jesuit way. I do not think goes down nice and easy? The word of our Lord and anyone went forth and set the world on fire purposely. Our government shut down, Donald Trump really just keeps messing things up with Tweets Savior, Jesus Christ. and words, people are angry with RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars 3, and we just keep getting more disappointed with people in power for sexual Q: My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. harassment. I have to say a lot has happened since I last stepped into the print shop, but really not a lot has gone on this week. How do you keep the spark in your relationship?

Is that a good thing? A bad thing? A thing? I don’t know. Bob: Get a nice hobby. Mine is automobiles. Whenever

I just want to say, I think no news is okay. I mean not for me because Judy is nagging me, I just go out to the garage and it is my job to get news to the people. For the world, it is fantastic. I just play with my dipstick. I’m depressed as hell, and cars think that for my paper purposes, it sucks. Does that make me selfish? give me a way to run out the clock on my life. Of course. Do I care? Of course. Am I going to try and change the way I think? Of course. I think what I am trying to say is, people need to be Judy: Oh Bob, what a jokester. For me, I like to make held accountable. We all know this, but we need to take care of it. Our a nice weekly meatloaf and canned pea soup. Really government needs to make decisions in the interest of everyone. Our gets us... going if you know what I mean. And some- president needs to think about his words a little more often. RuPaul needs to hecking not mess up her show. And I, have to stop being a lazy bean. times I’ll buy something a little *sexy* like a nice We are all accountable and we should ask our friends to slap us if we don’t sweater vest from Dress Barn or J.C. Penny’s. He’ll act like the humans we think we should be. notice, trust me. Make 2018 the year that you are going to be the best human you can be. Yes, it is late for resolutions, but make like Dua Lipa and make some New Rules. Don’t let yourself down!

Get out there and set the world on fire...in the good way.

xoxo, Claire Editor-in-Cheese page 14 the paper january 31, 2018 Woman Priests: The Final Female Frontier By Meredith Mclaughlin society ignored. In fact His rebellious Arts Co-Editor have this frankly condescending view ing that the priest must be male be- nature is integral to His teachings. that we just don’t understand that cause he is “in persona Christi,” or The church also insists that by mak- I was born and raised in the this is really what God wants, and the in the person of Christ. This means ing the priesthood male only, they are Catholic Church, and have been going belief that the church is denying the that during the blessing of the Eucha- just continuing the tradition laid out by to mass for the past 19 years of my “right” to become a priest is incorrect rist, the priest is acting as Jesus, and Jesus. However, this ignores the fact life. I’m actually really thankful that because being a priest isn’t a right, since Jesus was a man, it would be that women were important figures in I was raised with this spiritual influ- it’s a calling. The Church holds that impossible for a woman to be chosen Jesus’s ministry as well; Mary Magda- ence in my life, and I’m proud to be people don’t choose to be priests, but in persona Christi. Again, the focus on lene, among other things, informed a part of the Catholic faith. However, that God calls them to the role. How- Jesus’ gender is arbitrary. Following the apostles of Jesus’ resurrection ever since I was a kid, I’ve always ever, this brings up troubling ques- this logic, one could argue that only (something only SHE witnessed) and been confused by one specific aspect tions about how God Himself views 30-year-old Israeli Jewish carpenters was disbelieved. While the Church in- of my religion. Why aren’t there any men and women. Why would God, an could become priests, because that’s sists that following the disciples there women priests in the Catholic Church omnipotent divine being, see one hu- what Jesus was. have never been female clergy, St. yet? This question came up recently man as being worthy of becoming a Some feminists argue that Je- Paul says in Romans 15 “commend while talking to a friend of mine, and priest over another? Pope John Paul sus had to take the appearance of a to you our sister Phoebe, a deacon they pointed out that the Church had II said in his letter “On Reserving man, because the patriarchal society of the church in Cenchreae… Greet theological reasoning for women to Priestly Ordination to Men Alone” that he was working in wouldn’t have tak- Priscilla and Aquila, my co-workers in be barred from the priesthood. I want- “…the Church has no authority what- en Him as seriously if he appeared as Christ Jesus. They risked their lives ed to look into the reasons the Church soever to confer priestly ordination on a woman. This theory applies to the for me. Not only I but all the churches has for only male priests, because, as women and that this judgment is to disciples as well, since it’s likely that of the Gentiles are grateful to them.” secular culture continues to move be definitively held by all the Church’s they wouldn’t have been taken as se- Not only does he call one woman towards gender equality, the Church faithful.” This argument cleverly shifts riously in a society where the religious a deacon (a clergy role that comes looks more and more archaic. I don’t the blame away from the Church; in- leaders were all men. I think this ar- before priesthood) but he also calls think it’s unreasonable for members stead of saying that the Church won’t gument has legitimacy, as it’s impor- two women his “co-workers in Christ of the Church to expect and demand use its power to let women be priests, tant to consider the historical and Jesus.” The women in this passage, equality. However the reasoning that the pope instead makes it sound like societal contexts of all religions. The Priscilla and Phoebe, have clearly de- the church provides makes it difficult the Church hasn’t been given the core values of Christianity can be ap- voted their life to the Word. Further for real change to happen, since the authority by God, again bringing up plied to any time period, however we research reveals that Priscilla was men only standard has some conve- the unfortunate implication that God should still recognize that Jesus had responsible for instructing another nient theological backing. sees women as being to adapt to his time period in order to evangelist in the Word of God. For St. for some reason unfit for best preach his message. Paul to recognize a woman as an in- priesthood. structor and co-worker and to name One of the biggest “The way I see it, wom- another women “deacon” shows that arguments for men only even in the Bible, women were given priesthood is that Je- en are excluded from more ability to instruct and work in sus was a man and all priesthood either be- the church than they are 2000 years the disciples were men, later. so therefore only men cause human men have The way I see it, women are should be priests. My cultivated an unfair in- excluded from priesthood either be- initial reaction to this ar- stitution that excludes cause human men have cultivated an gument was that Jesus unfair institution that excludes wom- is a part of the Trinity, women based on outdat- en based on outdated stereotypes thus making him divine, ed stereotypes and be- and beliefs OR that God legitimately The website “catholicstraight- and thus beyond our human defini- sees some humans as being inher- answers.com” opens their article tions of gender. What is important liefs OR God legitimate- ently inferior to others. It’s time the on the patriarchal dominance of to his existence is the fact that He is ly sees some humans as Church let go of this sexist tradition, the priesthood with, “In our politi- God and human at once, and being of and admit that as an institution they cally charged world, the debate over the male gender is irrelevant to that. being inherently inferior are fallible. The Church insists that the restriction of ordination to men If He had chosen to live as a woman, to others.” they view both men and women as alone too often focuses on the politi- the effect would be the same: a be- equal, but when a Vatican theologian cal rather than the theological.” I feel ing who is God and human at once. The Church’s response to this argu- thinks “men are more likely to think of it’s wrong to substitute “political” is- Him being a man is only important ment is that Jesus acted against the God in terms of philosophical defini- sues for women’s issues. This phras- if we interpret it as being important. social and government order in many tions and logical syllogisms” its clear ing makes it sound like people who The Church could just as easily not ways, and associated with women that’s not the case. Portraying what is are arguing for female priesthood make a huge deal over Jesus taking (especially sinners) where society clearly human imposed tradition as are confusing government policy re- the form of the male sex (as other wouldn’t, and if he wanted to bust the sacred fact is manipulative and un- garding women’s rights for spiritual churches do) yet by choosing to do patriarchy he would have. I won’t deny healthy, and hurts the Church almost issues, when in reality they are advo- so they are able to deny women the that Jesus went out of his way to resist as much as it hurts its women mem- cating for equal ability to serve God. priesthood. The Church’s reasoning social norms and assist those whom bers. Many of these men only defenders extends into the mass itself, claim- january 31, 2018 the paper page 15

Oscar Predictions: 90th Annual Academy Awards is Anyone’s Game by David Kennedy Who will take home a lil’ gold statue man?! Copy Editor is nominated in more categories than the movies. Meanwhile, Meryl Streep Harrelson is still a possibility and even The 90th Annual Academy Awards anything else. It’s a feel-good movie in The Post is impossibly talented as though I didn’t like The Shape of Water, are here. That means that in between which tackles contemporary social is- usual. Meryl Streep seems like she was I wouldn’t mind if Richard Jenkins took all the uncomfortable jokes about Kev- sues and it has a firm basis in Holly- built in an underground lab by a group it home. in Spacey, we’re going to try to recog- wood tradition. It was made for this of scientists whose only ambition is to Likewise, I think best supporting nize the best and brightest Hollywood year and made for the Academy. My win Oscars. I think Streep is too obvi- actress is anyone’s game (mostly be- has to offer, probably just to be proven bet, out of the cause I haven’t seen most of the mov- wrong years later. Jimmy Kimmel’s nine nominees ies), but Laurie Metcalf is my definite hosting this year’s Academy Awards in for Best Picture: favorite. I think Allison Janney also has the wake of Seth Meyer’s outspoken it’s definitely a solid chance since I, Tonya was such address at the Golden Globes. If that between Three a performance-driven movie. Lesley was any sort of indicator, we’re going Billboards and Manville might also win, since she’s to see a lot of cleansing self-righteous- The Shape of an unknown working with Paul Thomas ness at the podium. So, while Holly- Water. Anderson. wood takes this much needed opportu- Daniel Best Director is yet another toss-up. nity to exorcise its demons, I’ll just try Day-Lewis is re- Phantom Thread won’t win because it to enjoy the show. tiring from mov- came out too late and Paul Thomas An- I’m actually kind of looking for- ies this year so derson is too weird. Dunkirk is my prob- ward to this year’s Oscars. I’ve never Best Male Lead able favorite for this one. It’s a dynamic been much for award show pageantry; is a pretty sure war film with an unorthodox narrative I just want to see who wins and this thing for him. structure and an impressive ensem- year has some definite favorites. It’s There’s also ble cast. It pleases crowds and it’s a been a terrible year for Hollywood, but just very little Christopher Nolan movie. Out of all the a great one for movies. There are nine competition. nominees it’s easily the most carefully Best Picture nominees and about half Gary Oldman coordinated. The Shape of Water could of them seem like they could win. It’s a won the Golden win—as much as I wouldn’t like to ac- daunting task to make predictions this Globe though, knowledge it. Lady Bird was wonderful, year, but here goes. so he may win but it’s directing was certainly not the First I’ll just air out my own again. Honestly, best thing about it. Again, I would love bias. I think Three Billboards should I’d be happiest to see Jordan Peele win for Get Out, but win all the awards, including the ones it to see Daniel I don’t really expect him to. Get Out bal- isn’t nominated for. I think every man, Kaluuya from Get Out take it home, but ous a choice to win, but it’s a distinct anced its uncanny performances with a woman, and child in this country should I’m doubtful because Get Out strikes possibility. Margot Robbie carried I, very sharp use of surrealism, but I still be strapped into the Clockwork Orange me as the kind of movie that won’t win Tonya, but I think the movie’s reception think it’s just too avant-garde and too chair and forced to watch it all the way Oscars because of its association with is too mixed for Robbie to win. much of a genre-piece to win Oscars. through. I think this movie makes ev- the horror movie genre. I’d guess Willem Dafoe for Best Sup- At the very least Three Bill- eryone who watches it a better person. Best Female Lead is a much better porting Actor. He showed a different boards has to win Best Original Screen- Go see Three Billboards. All that be- race this year. Frances McDormand side of himself this year and I think it’ll play. ing said, The Shape of Water is prob- and Saoirse Ronan both gave incred- pay off. Sam Rockwell’s chances might ably going to win Best Picture. I don’t ible performances as women we’ve be shot because of the controversy sur- understand it, but The Shape of Water all met who don’t usually make it into rounding his Golden Globes win. Woody page 16 the paper january 31, 2018 Inaugural Season of The Overwatch League Thrills Audi- Events by Michael Jack O’Brien E-Sports??? In the paper??? Blasphemy. What: “Being Black At Executive Editor a brightly colored chaotic mess of dif- league in a professional and respect- Fordham” Panel Tensions were high on the OWL ferent heroes’ abilities, ultimates, and able manner. While this might not Where: McGinley 237 stage, the series had gone to a fifth projectiles culminating into a visual seem like a tall order, we must recog- tiebreaker map and the reigning jug- experience akin to a shed of fireworks nize the fact that a large majority of the When: Fri. Feb 2nd gernauts, Soul Dynasty, were looking burning down. While for the teams the professional Overwatch scene is com- @ 6 PM shaky, as the young guns of NY Excel- fights are a highly coordinated set of prised of extremely young players, with How Much: FREE sior looked to prove that the bigger they engagements and strategic execu- most competitors being in their early are, the harder they fall. On the last tions, this point was oftentimes lost on 20s. As a result, players will oftentimes Why: A great opportunity map, Dong-gyu “Mano” Kim of NYXL the spectators. Blizzard recognized this find themselves in hot water for behav- to hear students, faculty, carried his team with masterclass tank problem, and starting with the 2017 ior that the league has deemed unbe- and alumni speak vulner- play, securing the victory, and proving Overwatch World Cup, introduced a coming of a professional. For example, that nobody in the OWL was invincible; brand new spectator API (Application Dallas Fuel player Félix “xQc” Lengyel ably about their experi- it was electric. Program Interface) which switches all was fined $2,000 and suspended for ences. Yes, we are fully aware as to how abilities, ultimates, and projectiles to the remainder of OWL stage 1 for mak- unorthodox it is to see sports news in a single team color. For example, if ing homophobic remarks about an op- the paper, even if those sports involve the London Spitfire (blue and orange) ponent on his livestream. XQc is known What: Lecture: “Debt and videogames. However, the action and are playing the Miami Mayhem (yellow for his high octane personality and has Disaster in Puerto Rico excitement in these first three weeks and red), all of London’s abilities and often been accused of toxic behavior in in Historical and Political presented some of the most compel- actions will be colored blue. In addi- the past. While at one point these ac- ling evidence tion, the OWL introduces the concept tions would have been met with collec- Context” that Blizzard tive shrugs, Where: Flom Auditorium Games, the cre- Blizzard has When: Fri. Feb. 9th from ators of Over- made it clear watch, have with these 11:30 AM to 12:45 PM cracked the high-profile How Much: FREE code on turn- suspensions Why: Educate yo’self! ing their mul- that being timillion-dollar “young and shooter fran- reckless” is What: Cinevents Presents: chise into a se- not an ex- Crazy, Stupid, Love rious e-sports cuse for poor contender. behavior. Where: Keating 3rd The OWL intro- In the first When: Mon. Feb. 12th duces a novel three weeks and Wed. Feb. 14th concept into of the OWL e-sports that we have How Much: FREE by its very na- seen some Why: You’re single and ture generates of the best bitter and want to enjoy a excitement as Overwatch a spectator play in the movie about love along- event. Instead of naming teams based game’s side other lonely people. on their parent organization, teams are of home and away teams to e-sports. history, and despite some teething named for cities and regions. From the As a result, the “away” teams abilities problems, the future looks bright for aforementioned “New York Excelsior” will always be colored white. This new this league. The beginning of feeder previously known as the Korean team spectator API improves the viewer ex- leagues (competitive leagues in which “LW Blue” to the ”Houston Outlaws”, perience dramatically, painting a more new players can prove themselves) like fans will finally have a way to root for coherent picture of the events during the Overwatch Open Division and Over- the home team as they do in traditional the match. watch Contenders, assures that there sports. The city-based teams of OWL, Despite these vast improvements will be a steady stream of new talent for along with color coordinated in-game to the viewer experience, the OWL is the league. This competition is still very skins which fans can buy, add flavor not without flaws, and one of the key young, but one thing remains certain, to the viewing experience in a way issues for professional Overwatch is the OWL is the new standard for pro- that has previously eluded competitive one that’s largely outside of Blizzard’s fessional Overwatch. With mainstream Overwatch. control: the players. Because the OWL appeal, exciting teams, and even more One of the main barriers to watching is a “professional organization”, mean- exciting matches, we can be sure that competitive Overwatch is the pace at ing that the players are paid salaries the OWL is just getting started. which team fights and engagements for their participation in the league, play out. Overwatch tends to turn into players are expected to represent the january 31, 2018 the paper page 17 What in Tarnation?! They’re Remaking Heathers?! by Gabrielle Curran Hey, Paramount, who gave you the right? Shows Staff Angsty Teen Heathers has always had a special because they seemed capable and will- If you’re anything like me, you’re sick place in my heart. As a cynical teenag- ing to do anything to get their way. The What: The Butterfly Con- and tired of remakes. When a movie is er myself, I related to Veronica’s jaded new Heathers are laughably unthreat- servatory unique and compelling enough on its perspective and sarcastic attitude. I ening. J.D.’s character went from an Where: own, the idea of rebooting it seems loved how no-fucks-given the movie unreadable sadist to a caricature who The Museum of more like a transparent cash grab than was about going there and taking risks suggests to Veronica that they “snort Natural History anything else––and nowhere is this in plot and character development. The Adderall, make out, and kill Heather.” When: Now - May 28, more apparent than in the trailer for writing is idiomatic, but not cringy. The J.D.’s original character was a noncon- Paramount’s TV adaptation of Heath- characters are flawed and at times ab- formist, someone who was so emo- 2018, 10 AM - 5:45 PM ers. horrent but somehow relatable, and tionally distanced from society that he How Much: $10.00 (for A brief summary of the original film: the premise turns the cliché of teeny- could turn his own murders into a social students) Heathers is a 1989 movie starring Wi- bopper high school movies on its head. experiment. The new J.D. acts more like Why: nona Ryder and Christian Slater. Ryder Its ending left questions unanswered a 12-year-old Redditor trying too hard Who doesn’t love plays Veronica, a cynical student at for sure, but not to the degree that it to be edgy. The trailer was clearly trying butterflies and moths? Westerberg High School and a recent would warrant a sequel or remake. to endorse a message that typically un- What: Survival Research recruit of the school’s most popular So imagine my surprise when I popular kids can be popular, which was clique, the Heathers. The Heathers opened up Tumblr last week to a slew never the point of Heathers. In fact, the Laboratories consist of three original did prac- Where: Marlborough beautiful, vener- tically everything Contemporary, Chelsea ated girls, all aptly it could to break When: named Heather. down the conven- Tue–Sat @ 10 Though Veronica tional teenage AM–6PM enjoys her distin- stereotypes that How Much: TBA guished status at were so common Why: school, she se- among the con- See robots do cretly resents her temporaries of things they’re normally newfound friends, its genre. (And not meant to! particularly their hey––if you want What: ringleader Heath- to make a movie Target First Satur- er Chandler. En- in which tradition- days ter J.D. (played by ally outcast kids Where: Brooklyn Mu- Slater), a cryptic are the popular and rebellious ones, more pow- seum student new to er to you. Write When: Sat. Febuary 3, Westerberg with your own plot and How do you do, fellow 2018, 11 AM - 11 PM a penchant for leave a perfectly How Much: extreme behavior. Heathers? fine cult classic FREE When a finally fed alone.) The clos- Why: Theres free mu- up Veronica decides to turn the tables of Heathers fans panicking over a re- est the trailer got to replicating the sic, art lessons, and a on Heather Chandler, J.D. is more than cently-released trailer by Paramount. bitter satirical tone of the original was happy to help. Things go south, how- Naïvely intrigued as I was, I clicked on in the teachers’ detached reaction to screening of the 2017 ever, when a mostly harmless prank the link to the YouTube video and was their students’ “suicides”. Don’t even documentary Whose Veronica intended to pull on Heather horrified by what I saw. get me started on Shannon Doherty Streets? leads to the latter’s death. In order The trailer opens with Veronica’s (Heather Duke in the original) being in- to cover up the murder, J.D. and Ve- iconic first line from the original mov- volved in all of this––I don’t know what ronica forge a suicide note, making it ie: “Dear Diary.” From then on, the she’s doing there either. look as though Heather killed herself. trailer’s resemblance and relevance I’m not alone in my anger towards The movie then follows the aftermath to its source material disappears al- the trailer––it currently has a whop- of Heather’s “suicide”, including the most entirely. The characters sound ping 28,000 dislikes to 8,000 likes. accidental murder of jocks Kurt and nothing like teenagers and more like The series is set to premiere on the Ram, another Heather’s rise to power, middle-aged men attempting to speak Paramount Network on March 7th. and the romanticization of teenage sui- in modern teen lingo (for reference, While I might sample the first episode cide by Veronica’s teachers and peers. they have a character exclaim “Oh my when it comes out, I don’t have high While the movie wasn’t a blockbuster,it clit!” at the end of the trailer). The new expectations for it. For now, all I can do has developed a cult following since Heathers lack any sort of subtlety and is rewatch the original and hope that then, even spawning a musical adapta- act nothing like their underhanded and my fury towards this remake is just a tion in 2014. far more intimidating original counter- spoke in my menstrual cycle. Since I first saw it in high school, parts. The first Heathers instilled fear page 18 the paper january 31, 2018 The Greatest Showman is a Great Show, Man by Katelyn Cody Music is great, though minor characters deserved more Staff Circus Fan My least favorite part of the mov- in Barnum’s circus. They are what a Golden Globe Award and an Acade- P.T. Barnum’s “Greatest Show on ie was the Jenny Lind storyline. Al- made Barnum’s circus “the greatest my Award nomination. As a Broadway Earth” finds new life again in movie though I understand the inclusion of show” and deserve the screen time alum, she is no stranger to powerful theaters as the story of the circus’ this plot point- Barnum’s sponsorship to reflect that. While Settle’s- char ballads, notably “I Didn’t Plan It” from creation is told through music, dance, of her American tour demonstrated acter, Lettie Lutz, performs the most Waitress. The duo has enjoyed a lot and the occasional high-flying acro- his ability to take risks, and having popular song from the show, I don’t of mainstream success over the past batic trick. Hugh Jackman captures Jenny show romantic interest in him think she deserved to be treated as year with the release of La La Land the charm and charisma required of added a bit of drama- I just could not such a minor character. The growth in (for which they won both a Golden a great showman and plays Barnum get myself interested in her charac- confidence that she has during “This Globe Award and an Academy Award) wonderfully. The actor’s Broadway ter, and was not the biggest fan of is Me” is one of the most important and Dear Evan Hansen (for which background definitely helped him in her song, “Never Enough.” I was also parts of the movie’s theme of loving they won a Tony). If you loved The this performance. One of my favorite disappointed to find out that the ac- yourself for who you are. Greatest Showman I highly encour- characters was Anne Wheeler (Ze- tress who played Jenny did not sing Composers, Benj Pasek and Justin age you to check out the rest of the ndaya). I was amazed by the stunts her own songs. One of my biggest Paul did a remarkable job writing mu- composers’ work. The film definitely she performed, and found myself yet pet peeves is when actors, especially sic that would appease both musical has a distinct Broadway flare to it. again wishing that I was the least bit those who we know can sing, do not fans and non-musical fans alike. Pas- It was even workshopped like a real flexible and graceful. The duet she do their own singing in movie musi- ek and Paul are amazingly versatile Broadway show prior to production. shares with Phillip Carlyle (Zac Efron), cals (I’m looking at you Zac Efron in composers who are not confined to When it all comes down to it, The “Rewrite the Stars,” is one of my fa- the first High School Musical movie). one genre of music. The music in the Greatest Showman is a family friend- vorite songs from the movie, and defi- There are plenty of other actresses film, while very musical theater-like ly film that is entertaining, inspiring nitely one of my favorite scenes. Dur- who could have played the part just in style, infuses modern pop music and warms the audience members’ ing a recent interview on the Tonight as well, but also contributed their in a way that will appeal to all audi- hearts. The beautiful music is an Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, Zendaya own singing voice. I wish that the film- ence members. Settle astounds audi- added plus that was probably one shared a video of her and Efron col- makers had instead taken this time ences with the moving ballad, “This is of the strongest motivators for me to liding while rehearsing their duet. to expand more on the performers Me,” a song that has already gained see this movie. Slayer: A Retrospective by Christian Decker Legendary pioneer of Thrash Metal calls it quits News Co-Editor The line-up consisted of vocalist and member, this was also around the time pumping track “Disciple” and “South of On Monday, Slayer announced on bassist Tom Araya, guitarist Kerry King, that Tipper Gore led the crusade for the Heaven” in which Slayer slowed down a their official Instagram that they would guitarist Jeff Hanneman, and drummer Parental Warning labels for music that lot of their sound with classics like their be performing one last world tour. Dave Lombardo, until Jeff Hanneman’s the government deem, offensive, or in- title track, “Seasons in the Abyss”. This Starting in May in California, Slayer will heartbreaking appropriate. Never- track contains my favorite song “Dead embark on their final North American death in the late theless, Slayer car- Skin Mask,” a song about notorious se- tour. The news has shocked the metal 2000’s. Hanneman ried on and amidst rial killer Ed Gein, who the movie “The community. There were even rumors, was replaced by the adversity,and Texas Chainsaw Massacre” was based perpetuated by lead guitarist, Kerry Gary Holt, a found- managed to have off. King, that a new album was in the ing member of the one hell of a career. Slayer is also one of the “The works. Needless to say, the news has thrash metal band Slayer have Big Four”, along with Megadeth, Metal- surprised and saddened metal fans Exodus. Slayer had their share of lica, and Anthrax, who are all credited across the world. Slayer isn’t the only quickly grew to excellent and criti- with creating and developing the thrash band announcing their retirement ei- popularity and has cally acclaimed al- metal sound. Slayer’s accomplish- ther. Norwegian black metal titans Sa- been melting faces bums, their most ments are numerous, and it is with a tyricon, and progressive rock legends and opening pits to famous being “Reign heavy heart that we must say goodbye Rush, also announced their final tours hell in all of their in Blood,” an undis- to this band. Slayer was actually one of this week. Slayer will welcome groove mosh pits and out- puted thrash mas- the bands that got me into heavier mu- metal aficionados Lamb of God,- fel door venues. terpiece according sic in the first place. Hopefully many of low thrash pioneer Anthrax, blackened With their to most metal en- the metalheads who read this article, thrash demons Behemoth and thrash debut album “Show No Mercy”, Slayer thusiasts, with their signature tracks including myself, get a chance to see metal lords Testament, to accompany introduced lyrical themes of Satanism, “Raining Blood,” with is literally about them before they end their performing them on this legendary final tour. demonic entities, and otherwise stuff overthrowing heaven, and “Angel of careers for good. Their closest tours to Slayer started headbanging in that people didn’t normally discuss in Death” about a notorious Nazi doctor New York are in New Jersey and in Con- the early 1980s as the glam metal acts music in the 80’s. This caused an in- of the same nickname, which as you necticut in June, and I would hurry up were out being disgraces to music. Its sane amount of controversy. Various can imagine caused a lot of controver- and get tickets because I can’t imagine members have remained mostly con- religious groups tried to get the band sy. Other noteworthy albums include there will be a lot left very soon! stant in their almost 40-year career. banned or to boycott their music. Re- “God Hates Us All” with the blood- january 31, 2018 the paper page 19 Ally Coalition Talent Show Raises Money and Spirits for a Good Cause by Olivia Langenberg Oh my Lorde, this sounds like a grand ol’ time Features and Lists Co-Editor grams, but I think it was suitable for the binary artist Shamir came out, the first acoustic enough, and it was a great op- The Ally Coalition hosted its 4th an- event’s cause. to declare membership in the LGBTQ portunity to hear her voice in its truest nual Talent Show on January 24th. The Kacey Musgraves was the first to community. Once again, I wasn’t fa- form. Lorde and Antonoff wrote Lorde’s Ally Coalition was formed back in 2012 take the stage. The show was primarily miliar with Shamir’s work, but from most recent album together, and it was by the band Fun and designer Rachel acoustic so she simply sat on a stool the second he started singing about refreshing to witness their friendship Antonoff with the mission of promoting with her guitar and allowed her vocals straight boys ruining his life, I was on live. Unfortunately, though, their per- equality for LGBTQ people. The Talent to be the main focus. I’ve never really board. Shamir’s performance felt the formance was interrupted by a heckler, Show is held annually to benefit home- listened to her music before, nor am most intimate and raw, while simulta- who shouted “Israel is nice!” likely due less LGBTQ youth in New York City. I much of a country music fan, but I neously remaining lighthearted. His to Lorde’s cancellation of her perfor- Previous years saw Carly Rae Jepsen, actually enjoyed her performance. Set second song, “90s Kids”, featured mance there. Antonoff quickly jumped CHVRCHES, Charli XCX, Sara Bareilles, times were capped at around 10 min- lyrics giving props to college kids, ac- to her defense, shutting him down and and Elle King as musical guests, as utes so she only had enough time for knowledging their struggles and how reminding everyone why we all were re- well as a variety of famous comedi- three songs which I think she chose their problems can be de-legitimized ally there. This concert was to benefit ans such as Fred Armisen and Hasan well: two new songs, and one of her by older generations. It was definitely homeless LGBTQ youth. While it’s great Minhaj. This year’s show took place most popular songs, “Follow Your Ar- a highlight to see a LGBTQ person of that so many talented artists came to at Town Hall in Midtown Manhattan row”. The funny thing, though, was that color perform at the benefit. showcase their art, it was really about and featured performances from mu- Kacey forgot the words during “Follow At this point in the show, I started to raising money. Lorde was obviously my sicians, Lorde, Kacey Musgraves, The Your Arrow” and had to ask people in space out until Lorde took the stage favorite part of the night, since I’m a National, Shamir, Spoon, Andrew Dost, the front row what came next. I felt an hour later. Jacqueline Novak did a little biased towards her. I enjoyed that and Bleachers and comedians Aparna uneasy that the show began with a weird stand-up routine about french Antonoff was with her, though. It made Nancherla, Phoebe Robinson, Jacque- performer who forgot the words to fries, which stopped being funny about me imagine what the process of mak- line Novak, and Mike Birbiglia. her song, but the way she played it off two minutes in, but unfortunately ing Melodrama was like. I found it interesting that this show made the atmosphere lighter. lasted for eight more minutes. Spoon The night ended with a performance took place at a venue in the middle of After Kacey’s quick acoustic set, I played a few songs that all sounded by Jack Antonoff and his band Bleach- Times Square. I’d never heard of Town was surprised to see Aparna Nancherla the same and didn’t really capture my ers. They began their set with a perfor- Hall, nor had I ever been before, so I take the stage. I knew there were some attention. Phoebe Robinson performed mance of the song “Dreams” in tribute decided to do a little research about comedians in the lineup, but I hadn’t a stand-up routine that definitely went to the late Dolores O’Riordan of The the venue’s background. The League expected one to appear after just one over the time limit. She was funny at Cranberries, followed by original mate- for Political Education commissioned musician. I wasn’t familiar with her work some points, and at others I found my- rial. Antonoff and his band closed out the space with the intention of educat- either, but was pleasantly surprised. I self staring intently at the back of the the show with a cover of Fleetwood ing people about important political tend to gravitate toward dry humor, and guy’s head in front of me. Mike Birbi- Mac’s “Go Your Own Way,” urging the issues of the time. When it was first Aparna had me hooked with quick one- glia talked about his experience at a night’s earlier performers to come out being built, the group was fighting for liners and self-deprecating jokes. She fertility clinic, which was also funny at and join them. It felt like an appropriate women’s suffrage, and by its comple- told a joke about how people become times and trying too hard at others. The way to end the night. I believe the show tion, the 19th Amendment had passed. shapes in the winter because of how National performed a few songs, which was a success. The Ally Coalition raised The building became a symbol of this many layers they are forced to wear, didn’t wow me that much, but they did $193,000 for homeless LGBTQ youth victory and for an optimistic future. The and the entire room erupted in laugh- have some horns to accompany the in New York City, and that’s what really famous phrase “not a bad seat in the ter. I personally related, as I often feel piano. matters. In hosting this show annually, house” is attributed to Town Hall due like a giant circle when I’m clad in my Just when I thought I would fall asleep more exposure is granted to people to the lack of box seating. I can attest puffy winter coats. Supposedly, Aparna before I ever got to see Lorde, she final- who don’t always have a voice in the to the truth of this statement because I was named one of “The 50 Funniest ly came out! She was dressed in a white media. LGBTQ people and allies can was in the second to last row of the up- People Right Now” by Rolling Stone, billowy top that made her look like a come together and stand up for equal- per balcony and still had a good view. which is super cool. I enjoyed her fresh cloud princess. Jack Antonoff sat along- ity, while enjoying music and comedy. I’m not sure if the organizers of the take on stand-up and she was definite- side her at the piano; the two played a Each year the show seems to grow and show chose the venue for its history of ly my favorite comedian of the night. few covers and a few songs off Lorde’s I’m excited to see what the Ally Coali- hosting activists and educational pro- After Aparna ignited the crowd, non- Melodrama. I don’t get to hear Lorde tion will do in upcoming years. page 20 the paper january 31, 2018

Which Forbidden Snacc Are You??

Egg Cookie Doh Ice Cream -eat it - does all the readings on -egg Bath 2 Bomb time but can’t remember - distracted easily by bright what they read when they colors and strong smells get to class - constantly walking around -dresses mostly in primary with a fist full of sweet tarts in colors your left pocket - more excited by bath bombs than relaxed by them

Dr. Eggman Polly Pocky Clothes - you a SNACC squish squish bish - you got long ass giraffe - Laundry Detergent - adore early 2000s clothing legs, ready to gallop to class - haha trendy - look like you’re about to fight at any moment ur prepared - will do anything for attention minimum wage workers at any to run - even eat laundry detergent given moment - u rotund but look like a - youthful spirit broom at the same itme - but actually v kind january 31, 2018 the paper page 21

Wow! Another year of misery and flabby, racist sausage; a Twitter- Myself wildlife of locations ranging from harship has escaped us. We can happy, illiterate sociopath fever- by Sad Boi TM the forest to Bikini Bottom are all agree that 2017 was garbage, ishly consuming Fox News after My favorite meme is the one I see some of the funniest things I’ve so we decided to celebrate the a bedtime story from Steve Ban- everytime I look in the mirror. Ev- read all year. Some of my favorite self-deprecation and silliness of non; a tiny-handed, small-minded ery time I stare at myself. It’s not a terms include “Brother Aberna- the memes that got us through egomaniac with a masculinity popular meme, but one day it will thy” to describe moose, “Wanted another year. Here are the paper more fragile than the leg lamp in be. I want to take a pic of myself Men” to describe jellyfish, and staff’s favorite memes of 2017: Christmas Story with access to and put it up on a message board. “Benevolent Carpet” to describe the United States’ nuclear codes Because I am a meme and my life floor stalagmites. All in all, 10/10 “Nice of the Princess to Invite Us is not the most tragic, pathetic, is a meme. Even my roommates would recommend this top notch Over for a List, Eh Luigi?” terrifying, and yet utterly comical call me a meme. When they see quality creative meme. by Matthew Whitaker meme of 2017 then I don’t know me staring into the mirror for As a professional meme research- what is... hours on end, they know it’s a Favorite 2017 Meme? I don’t er, I can say that my favorite meme meme. THEY REALLY KNOW. Ev- know her. of 2017 is without a doubt the “Eh Wow, My Brain is Huge eryone knows, like that one song. By Claire Nunez Luigi?” meme. This meme origi- by Staff Big Head That song is also a meme. I wrote I literally do not care about memes. nated from a cutscene in the game My favorite meme of 2017 was a song about being a meme once. I mean, I do, but my excuse is that Hotel Mario, which was the result the expanding brain meme, in It was really deep and depressing. I just didn’t live in the country for of a licensing disaster for Ninten- which you see a human brain be- My parents were crying. They told a majority of 2017. Yes, I am that do. The meme uses the cutscene coming brighter and more weird me they weren’t crying at it be- person that will use my time living in which a poorly-animated Mario and cosmic looking, with different ing bad, because it was good and abroad as an excuse. Shut up. and Luigi walk into the Mushroom variations of things progressive- deep. So yeah, that’s my favorite Kingdom, with Mario exclaiming ly becoming “smarter” options. meme. IT’S NATURALLY BLINKING “Nice of the princess to invite us For example, there was one with WHITE GUY MOTHERFUCKERZ over for a picnic, eh Luigi?” The the brain completely dark that Come and Visit this Jungle, bb by Nick Peters meme consists of pasting Mario read, peeing and making noise, By Resident Meme Queen SO LIKE LET ME GO OUT ON A and Luigi onto an image to make followed by a brighter brain that While 2017 was for the most part LIMB HERE. Blinking white guy is it look like they are walking into read “peeing on the side of the a shit-show, it was without a doubt my fav meme. Why? Because it’s a different situation, often with a toilet and making no noise,” and a prolific year in terms of its meme my favorite thing in the world. A relevant caption. For example, I then progressively getting weirder yield. Among its superiors is an podcast/website I really love and made a version for Meme Monday over the course of several pages unfortunately short-lived meme, have followed for years, called where Mario and Luigi are walk- of brains that looked like they “Why Not Visit?”, that paved the Giantbomb.com, is where the ing into Keating with the caption reached Nirvana. I think the best way for a new form of internet meme came from. You cannot “Nice of Father McShane to invite part of this meme was that it was jokes: the biomeme. This meme imagine my amazement at seeing us over for a class, eh Luigi?” incredibly absurd with the kinds has so many variations and Drew Scanlon from Giantbomb, of things that you could consider possibilities that it’s almost im- from a livestream I WATCHED, Our “President” is a Meme being smarter things to do. I think possible to make two of them that become a meme. A personality I Donald Trump’s “presidency”. Be- the meme is still making its round are exactly the same. The creative have followed for years. And now cause if an inflatable orange troll on the internet, so that just shows and ridiculous names that people his face is everywhere. It was an squeezed into golf shorts like a you its longevity. have come up with to describe the amazing, fascinating moment. page 22 the paper january 31, 2018 songs are pretty good, though, and precision in the music. Something they definitely tell you what’s going to about them feels like elementary school happen with the rest of the album. They arts and crafts. They play with sound introduce those Alice in Wonderland unrestricted, even though everything acidtrip kind of sounds, mixed with that is also obviously very consciously same honey-like BØRNS voice we’re all composed. Vocals shift from yelpy sing familiar with. along choruses, often reminiscent of I got lost in the middle of the album jump-rope rhymes, to meandering sing- and felt like I was floating in a weird song verses. All the while meticulously way, but the last few songs brought me arranged harmonies jump in and out back to Earth. There’s nothing special of the mix. African drums and clap about the lyrics on this album, it’s a lot hands mix with fuzzy basslines and of the same ‘I loved you, I lost you’ stuff synthetic percussion to create rhythms we hear in most love songs. The ending which are both scattered and carefully song, “Bye-bye Darling,” was the most syncopated. You can imagine how creative one, but otherwise it wasn’t some of these qualities can make anything I haven’t heard before. Tune-Yards both fun and irritating Overall, this album is decent. I’d on the same song. In general, this Drake recommend listening to it in some Beats represents them at their best: totally Scary Hours headphones for a truly transcendent unrestricted. In the new album, they’ve By Claire Nunez experience, but don’t strain yourself done away with some of the organic for it. elements to take a more straight I am not a Drake fan-- all of his forward pop approach to their music. music sounds the same to me, and Favorite track: “Second Night of At its best this results in the same that is exactly how I feel about his Summer” schoolroom eclecticism stripped down new EP, Scary Hours. The two songs to its sharpest hooks. Such is the case released, “God’s Plan” and “Diplomatic with the singles, “ABC123” and “Look at Immunity” are essentially little diary Your Hands.” Both of which are upbeat pieces from Drake, which is cool and tracks, loaded with hooks, and a playful all, but all of his music just kind of energy, belying themes of anxiety and sounds like “Hotline Bling” to me. I violence in the lyrics. Cultural anxiety wish I could say that his new music is is a prevalent theme for Tune-Yards, revolutionary (mostly because it breaks particularly on this album. On the song some streaming records on Spotify and “Colonizer,” Garbus airs out her guilt Apple Music), but it is just not for me. over drawing influence from traditional Scary Hours is very electronic and BØRNS African music in the past (an influence heavy, making me feel as though I’m Blue Madonna whose absence is felt on this album). walking around a dark, gray city. To be By Olivia Langenberg They’ve sung about this sort of anxiety fair, I am, but I don’t like the sound of it. I before. It can be a potent place to draw also just can’t relate to Drake’s famous BØRNS’ kicked off the new year with inspiration from, but on “Colonizer” it lifestyle. In “Diplomatic Immunity”, he a new album! I’d consider myself a results in a track that is at best dull, raps about people taking advantage of casual BØRNS fan, and by that I mean at worst annoying, and on the rest of his fame. I am not famous yet, so I am I could maybe name three of his songs. the album it results in a more subdued, just like, “whatever.” It is also too slow I definitely didn’t know he was coming less energetic Tune-Yards. for me. I like “God’s Plan” a bit better out with a new album, so I went in with Tune-Yards It’s worth a listen, but anyone because it is more upbeat and bop-y. no expectations. This new release, Blue I Can Feel You Creep into My Private interested in really off-the- wall pop I can totally chill with that. He also has Madonna, had me feeling really out of Life music should checkout “Nikki-Nack.” a line that goes, “I only love my bed touch with my body. I actually felt like I David Kennedy and my momma, I’m sorry.” Now that is was in the middle of a lucid dream while Favorite Song: “Look at Your Hands” relatable content. I was listening to this album. I haven’t It’s been a while since we’ve heard That being said, I am still decided what that means exactly, but anything from Tune-Yards. Their last underwhelmed with Drake. I don’t let’s just say that this album is full of release, “Nikki Nack” came out four care how relatable his one line is, his some incredible sounds. These tracks years ago, me more than enough time new EP is nothing special or overtly are psychedelic as hell, but sometimes to forget they existed. Tune-Yards is revolutionary. I do appreciate that he it’s a little too much for my delicate the experimental pop project of just released music instead of waiting ears to handle. Believe me, this album Merrill Garbus, a singer and multi- for a new album-- I think more artists is no “Electric Love.” instrumentalist originally from should do that. Blue Madonna starts off with a Connecticut, with Nate Brenner on crowd pleaser, “God Save Our Young Bass. Favorite Song: “God’s Plan” Blood,” featuring teen favorite Lana What initially attracted me to Tune- Del Rey. This song would be good for Yards on their second album “Nikki- a late night drive, but I wouldn’t listen Nack” was a paradoxical balance of to it for any other reason. The first few childish exuberance and technical january 31, 2018 the paper page 23 Tune-Yards Continued.... It discusses emotions related to the abandon the sound that made them handling of varying degrees of fame special, and “change with the times” a style more reminiscent of slam and success, before deciding none of so to speak by revamping themselves poetry than of rap. “No Wrong”, the it matters, except that he is “sticking as EDM groups disguised as rock first track released off the album, is with” his partner. Although this song is bands. It’s a disappointing change, a soothing piano ballad accompanied also somewhat forgettable, and the first and when onlookers say that “pop-rock by guitar riffs and female background track’s sound may even, as it initially is dead,” this album and many others vocals. The song incorporates the did for me, deter you from listening to only confirm our worst fears. catchy rhythm of soul music and the the rest of the EP, “Scary Love” and pained lyrics of the blues. “Heaven” come to the rescue as tracks The album is a meditation on I will definitely coming back to. identity. Bahamas grapples with issues Favorite Track:”Heaven” of white privilege, depression, and love lost. There are particular lines throughout the album which appear to be “fake deep” and cliché, but after multiple listens, Bahamas’ lyrics are revealed to be a sort of poetry: simple The Neighbourhood yet poignant. Despite the gravity of the To Imagine messages, these tunes are definitely By Mario Pineda-Bermudez groove-worthy. Earthtones is full of ~funky beats~ and is a prime album for Californian alternative indie band side-to-side head bopping, toe-tapping, The Neighbourhood has released their and shoulder-shimmying. fifth EP, To Imagine. The EP, coming after their 2017 release, Hard, was released on the 12th. Its first song, “Dust,” which addresses climate change, begins with an ominous tone, talking about waterless lakes and fish Bahamas growing wings to escape. The buildup Earthtones leads to a pre-chorus with isolated Fall Out Boy Annie Muscat vocals that seem to direct criticism at Mania corporations and politicians, followed MJJM Canadian singer and by a high-energy chorus. songwriter, Afie Jurvanen, more The next song, “Scary Love,” is the After listening to the new Fall Out popularly known as Bahamas, has first single from the EP, premiering Boy EP, Mania, I have a few takeaways. completely departed from the folk worldwide by Zane Lowe on Beats 1 First: This album is bad, and second, melodies which characterized his Radio on December 4, 2017. “Scary this album isn’t Fall Out Boy. I won’t previous work in his new album, Love” deals with Jesse Rutherford’s pretend that Mania is the worst thing Earthtones. It had been nearly four relationship; it specifically follows a to hit my ears this year. I won’t even years since the artist had released lover who feels his significant other is pretend that the leading single in the new music. His immediate prior out of his league, expressing both his EP “Young and Menace” isn’t extremely album, Bahamas is Afie, received the desire for her and his fear of losing her. catchy despite being a generic EDM Juno Award for Adult Alternative Its fast pace, eerie vibe and emphatic banger. However, this album still falls Album of the Year in 2014. chorus makes it one of the favorites on extremely short, as this album shows Bahamas’ Earthtones demonstrates the EP. “Heaven,” the third song on the that pop-rock and the alternative genre heavy R&B and hip-hop EP, also has lyrics showing passionate from which the band was a mainstay influence, sounds which white emotion. The beat is more low-key, but in the early to mid-2000s is a shell of artists have appropriated from presents a sensual energy that would itself. On a majority of these tracks, pioneering and renowned black not feel out of place on a song by The the “rock” roots of Fall Out Boy are musicians like Ray Charles and Weeknd. This is especially true in the barely present, with the band instead R. Kelly for decades. However, it second verse, where the singer catches choosing for a synthetic, nocturnal seems as if Bahamas pays the beat just right, complementing the pop-EDM sound, with screeching bass sincere homage to the genre as bass. The next song on To Imagine lines and tinny, trap inspired high hats opposed to claiming and repurposing is “Compass.” The song makes an on a majority of the tracks. While the it. A majority of the album was recorded analogy between a girl and a compass, old band does pop out occasionally, with members of jazz fusion musician saying, “I keep you in my pocket to use like on the anthemic “HOLD ME TIGHT D’Angelo’s ensemble which further / You’re my only compass / I might OR DONT,” songs reflective of the lends to the authentic R&B and hip- get lost without you.” The song is nice, bands typical sound are few and far hop feel. but honestly forgettable at a short 2 between By doing this, Fall Out Boy has Not only is Earthtones Bahamas’ minutes 30 seconds. “Stuck With Me,” followed in the steps of many 2000s most eclectic album, but it also oozes the final song on the EP, has the most rock bands before them: from Linkin sensuality. “Bad Boys Need Love substance lyrically. Park, to Coldplay, to Maroon 5, all of Too” juxtaposes breathy female vocals with a deep sultry male voice. Jurvanen tries his hand at speak-singing in a page 24 the paper january 31, 2018