Ambivalent? Well, Yes and No

Bumper Stickers

Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

Whisper my favorite words: “I’ll buy it for you.”

This is it; I don’t have another car.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.

The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Don’t sweat petty things – or pet sweaty things.

We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.

Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain just to be a vegetarian.

Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?

She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

Bumper Stickers - 1 He who laughs last thinks slowest.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.

This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.

I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?

The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt – in case heaven is like the IRS.

So many fools, so few comets.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

Therapy is expensive, poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.

Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.

Bumper Stickers - 2 Two wrongs are only the beginning. (Rocky Mountain News) *************************************************************

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