<p> Bumper Stickers</p><p>Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.</p><p>The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.</p><p>Whisper my favorite words: “I’ll buy it for you.”</p><p>This is it; I don’t have another car.</p><p>Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.</p><p>When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.</p><p>The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required on it.</p><p>A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.</p><p>For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.</p><p>Don’t sweat petty things – or pet sweaty things.</p><p>We have enough youth. How about a fountain of smart?</p><p>Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.</p><p>See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.</p><p>If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you’ve never tried before.</p><p>Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.</p><p>I didn’t fight my way to the top of the food chain just to be a vegetarian.</p><p>Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?</p><p>She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.</p><p>Bumper Stickers - 1 He who laughs last thinks slowest.</p><p>No one is listening until you make a mistake.</p><p>Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.</p><p>Money can’t buy happiness. But it sure makes misery easier to live with.</p><p>This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.</p><p>I am diagonally parked in a parallel universe.</p><p>OK, who stopped payment on my reality check?</p><p>The hardness of the butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread.</p><p>When you do a good deed, get a receipt – in case heaven is like the IRS.</p><p>So many fools, so few comets.</p><p>To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.</p><p>Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.</p><p>You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.</p><p>I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.</p><p>Therapy is expensive, poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.</p><p>Ever stop to think and forget to start again?</p><p>It’s lonely at the top, but you eat better.</p><p>Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check. </p><p>Work is for people who don’t know how to fish.</p><p>Bumper Stickers - 2 Two wrongs are only the beginning. (Rocky Mountain News) *************************************************************</p><p>Bumper Stickers - 3</p>