October 19, 2007 | www.reportermag.com

the blackout of ‘07 chances are you still had class bob dylan still blowin’ in the wind love & communication what you and a dolphin may have in common EDITOR’S NOTE

EDITOR IN CHIEF Jen Loomis Blowing Smoke Managing Editor Adam Botzenhart I don’t know why our generation is so prejudiced against smokers. Maybe the sheer Copy Editor Veena Chatti amount of anti-smoking propaganda we inhaled as children instilled a lasting hatred NEWS EDITOR Joe McLaughlin of tar and nicotine, forcing us to blow hot air out of our lungs every time we see other LEISURE EDITOR Casey Dehlinger people blowing smoke out of theirs. Regardless of the cause, the symptom is very real. FEATURES EDITOR Laura Mandanas We discriminate against smokers, and we pat ourselves on the back for it afterwards. SPORTS/VIEWS EDITOR Geoff Shearer I’ve heard several wisps of conversation about increasing campus smoking restrictions WRITERS Elizabeth Bermel, Veena Chatti, Adriano this year. Carlos Cornejo, the College of Business Senator, was the first to spark this Contreras, Erick Davidson, Jean-Jacques DeLisle, discussion by proposing a ban on smoking in front of academic buildings. Since then, Casey Dehlinger, Mike Iannacone, Evan McNamara, the wisps have evolved into smokestacks, with the latest anti-smoking request coming Ryan Metzler, Govind Ramabradran, Geoff Shearer, in as a cutely titled petition for a “Smoke-Free RIT.” This petition demands that the RIT Chris Tosswill Administration not only bar on campus stores from selling tobacco products, but also ban smoking on campus entirely. Art ART DIRECTOR Josh Gomby I don’t think these petitioners see the true nature of their request: a solid piece of their STAFF DESIGNERS Kelvin Patterson, Jay Sfetko, liberty in exchange for less personal responsibility. Following their logic, I can easily Susie Sobota see the justification for banning burgers and fries in the cafeterias. RIT should not be Staff illustrators Greg Caggiano, encouraging the ingestion of fatty foods, especially considering the skyrocketing obe- Robert Modzelewski, Mike Norton, Erin Wengrovius, sity epidemic in this nation. What about World of Warcraft? Azeroth-addicted students Bryan Williams, Caitlin Yarsky squander their study and social time by adventuring in the virtual realm. Some of them CARTOONIST Alex Salsberg lose friends. Others lose scholarships. Should RIT be intervening in these students’ lives as well, by creating a “WoW-Free RIT”? Photo PHOTO EDITOR Dave Londres I don’t want RIT to be my daddy, holding my hand by day, and tucking me in every night. STAFF PHOTOGRAPHERS Eric Drummond, Megan The very thought of it makes my mouth fill with ash. Rossman, Tom Schirmacher, Ross Thompson Production $0.&065'03"/ PRODUCTION MANAGER John Carew Jen Loomis PRINTING Printing Applications Lab Editor In Chief .0/%": Business 0$50#&3 01&/%*4$644*0/ PUBLICITY MANAGER Kayla Himelein table of contents AD MANAGER Geo Kartheiser october 19, 2007 | vol. 57, issue 08 BUSINESS MANAGER Lilena Harris ON4TUDENT*SSUES CUSTOMER SERVICE REPRESENTATIVE Kyle O’Neill NEWS | PG. 04 SPORTS | PG. 12 Missing Sidewalk Why the South Cross Country All the Way to PM Online Loop is still risky for pedestrians. Nationals. AT3*5 ONLINE EDITOR Dan Orth Brick Beat Power outage on campus. *NGLEAUDITORIUM One million dollar donation. VIEWS | pg. 13 Advisor Forecast Because shit happens. Avoiding Financial Armageddon %R.ARYBETHCOOPER%R)EATH#OICE1ARDEE Rudy Pugliese Weekly Senate Update The club Investing 101. */5)&4"6 STUDENTAFFAIRSEDWOLF4ASHA.ALINCHOC affiliation debate continues. Again. RIT Rings Who ya gonna call? Contact Views Casey Dehlinger discusses STUDENTGOVERNMENTOTHERCAMPUSLEADERS MAIN 585.475.2212 LEISURE | PG. 08 handjobs. WANTYOUTO EMAIL [email protected] Halloween On Ice Jack Sparrow skates ADVERTISING 585.475.2213 on thick ice. EMAIL [email protected] Bob Dylan Still blowin’ in the wind. At Your Leisure Things, Places, and 4":"/:5)*/( People, too… '3&& "4,"26&45*0/ Reporter Magazine is published weekly during the academic year by a staff comprised of students at Rochester Institute of Technology. Business, Editorial, and Design facilities are located in Room A-426, in the lower level of the Student Alumni Union. Our voice/TTY line is 585.475.2212. The Advertising Department can be reached at 585.475.2213. #&1"350'5)&%*"-0(6& The opinions expressed in Reporter do not necessarily reflect those of the Institute. Including on the agenda that we should all be “making out” is highly inappropriate. Let- ters to the Editor may also be sent to [email protected]. Reporter is not responsible for materials presented in advertising areas. No letters will be printed unless signed. All letters received become the property of Reporter. Reporter takes pride in its membership in the Associated Collegiate Press and American Civil Liberties Union. Copyright © 2007 Reporter Magazine. All rights reserved. No portion of this Magazine may be reproduced without prior written permission. 1*;;" 4PONSOREDBY4(4TUDENT"FFAIRS The Case of the Missing Sidewalk by Madeleine Villavicencio

uring the 2005-2006 academic for Facilities Management Services and year, Student Government Student Government, at this stage, it is Women’s Senator Denise Her- out of their hands. rera spearheaded a motion to Dconstruct a sidewalk for the South Loop, Before construction can begin, it must connecting University Commons to the receive approval from the Army Corps of dormitories. This proposal was approved Engineers. They required more time than by the administration and promised to The South Loop expected for assessment. The Army Corps students. A year and a half later, the side- of Engineers is a federal agency which has walk is nowhere to be found. Walkway project the authority to review projects that could raise wetland and water quality concerns Concerned that no construction had oc- “has by no means as well as other environmental issues. Re- curred over the summer, Herrera ap- gardless, Yarrington believes, “There is no proached Ed Wolf, Student Government been stopped from reason to expect that they will do other President, for an update. Admitted Wolf, than approve the project, ultimately, but “This project was done before my time, so I RIT’s perspective, their review will take a minimum of 90 don’t have a lot of information.” Neverthe- days.” This was not anticipated by Stantec, Our promise: less, he followed up on the project by call- rather it has and therefore came as a surprise to Facili- ing James Yarrington, Director for Campus ties Management Services. No other attorney, Planning and Design & Construction Ser- been making vices in Facilities Management. Another issue that has prevented the no other law firm, considerable start of construction is the area’s slope of According to Yarrington, “The South Loop land, or grading. There are different design will fight harder Walkway project has by no means been progress grades for paving, draining, and blending stopped from RIT’s perspective. It has with undisturbed land. “One can rarely or smarter been making considerable progress to- towards actual simply scrape dirt away and throw gravel wards actual construction.” Contrary to and pavement on top of existing grades… to defend you. popular belief, Facilities Management has construction. Grades [need] to be modified in any areas been attempting to keep the effort mov- where either the pathway would have ing. A few months ago, they hired Stantec, tipped too steeply away from level and/or a design and construction firm, to survey posed an unsafe drop-off back to undis- the area. “We then went through the vari- turbed land,” explains Yarrington. ous phases of design work to arrive at a final plan, produced bid documents [which Although Facilities Management had are] detailed drawings and specifications, hoped to start construction before Winter and bid the work competitively. The lowest –Jim Yarrington Quarter, it is because of these difficulties bidder was Keeler, a local Rochester con- that the construction has been delayed. struction company,” explains Yarrington. Per Yarrington, construction will begin in He said that although it is still a priority ” Spring 2008. •

 News | 10.19.07 BRICKBEAT RIT Forecast Student Government OctOBER 19, 2007 compiled by Sarai Oviedo Weekly Update photograph by Megan Rossman Saturday Wednesday To start the meeting, Representative at Large Matt Danna made 20 BLT Basketball 24 Gasser Distin- a clarification on the difference between a report and an an- Tournament: SLC Gym guished Lectureship in nouncement: reports tell the Senate what has happened in the Courts 2 & 3, 12 p.m.–2:30 Business: JetBlue: Ingle past week; announcements notify people about upcoming events. p.m. A three-on-three bas- Auditorium, 4 p.m. – 6 p.m. Additionally, it was clarified that every organization only has one One Million Dollars ketball tournament hosted David Neeleman, Chairman vote, even if they send two representatives. by Sarai Oviedo by the Business Leaders and CEO of JetBlue Airways, of Tomorrow. Winners talks about the business of Freshman Senator Elections On Wednesday, October 10, Peter Schottland, CEO will receive trophies and flying people. Cost: Free. There has been a significant showing of interest in the position. and owner of American Packaging Corp. (APC), gift cards to Buffalo Wild Rather than having to listen to every speech, the Senate will announced a one million dollar donation to RIT for Using the dim hallway lights kept on by a generator, Michael Romero works to Wings. Cost: $15 per team. Thursday review applications as they come in. The top seven applicants the expansion of the Plastics and Packaging finish his Advanced Computer Architecture exam during the blackout on Monday, Dandiya: Clark Gym, 6 p.m.– 25 Thursday Night will make speeches. Innovation Center. October 8 in building nine. 1 a.m. A cultural dance fes- Cinema Series: High tival. Snacks and drinks will Tension: Ingle Audito- Student Life Dan Johnson, Chair of the Manufacturing and be sold. Sponsored by the rium, 10 p.m.–12 a.m. Because of the many student issues that have been coming up, Mechanical Engineering Technology Department, Organization of the Alliance A French slasher flick. Tagline: Dr. Heath is setting up An Evening of Dialogue on Student Life on welcomed the full audience in the Golisano Au- of Students from the Indian Hearts will bleed. Cost: Free. Monday, October 22nd, at 7:30 p.m. in Ingle. The intent is to have ditorium. RIT President William Destler took the Subcontinent (OASIS). Cost: $5. a conversation about campus happenings, certain experiences podium after Johnson’s introduction and informed Glow in the Dark Dance Friday with student life, and how to improve. Dr. Heath Boyce-Pardee, the audience that with this gift, the Plastics and Party: SAU: Cafeteria, 10 26 Pulse Happy Hour: Dr. Mary Beth Cooper, Student Government President Ed Wolf, Packaging Innovation Center would be renamed the Lightning Strikes, Cuts Power to Academic Buildings p.m.–2 a.m. Hosted by CAB. SDC, 4 p.m.–6 p.m. NTID and Student Government Vice President Sasha Malinchoc will American Packaging Corporation Center for Plastics by Joe McLaughlin Glow sticks provided. clubs get together to be there. Pizza will be served. and Packaging Innovation. hang out and learn about A lightning strike during a storm at about 7:15 p.m. on Monday, October 8 Monday each other. Cost: Free. GCCIS Senator Paul Solt has been talking to the Student Life Cen- Dr. Chang Feng Ge, Director, explained that there damaged Rochester Gas and Electric (RG&E) equipment, causing a blackout 22 Technology, Service International Afri- ter about the last student survey, and reports that they are put- are two distinct labs in the Center: “Each with its in several buildings on the academic side. & the Global Economy: can Students Banquet: ting together an assessment report. As a result of the survey, pool own focus, but with opportunities for discovery Golisano Auditorium, 12 p.m.– Fireside Lounge, 5 p.m.–8 hours have been extended by one hour in the evenings, and the through joint efforts.” The Analytical Lab will focus According to Marcos Cobo, Electrical Maintenance Foreman for Facilities 1 p.m. CAST Paul A. Miller p.m. A forum for interna- gym is now open until 11:45 pm, but weekend hours have been on applying new polymer materials to packaging, Management Services, RG&E maintains a substation with two transform- Lecture Series welcomes key- tional students. Learn about slightly reduced. while the Production Lab will apply new technolo- ers on campus that feeds directly into RIT’s equipment, five high-voltage note speaker Nabil Habayeb, the African culture and meet gies in packaging manufacturing. Also, APC’s dona- circuits that are independent of each other. Cobo said that tests on the RIT President and CEO of Gen- other international students Amendment to theAutomatic Notification System tion will enable the addition of a full-time techni- equipment showed that “our gear was working, but no power was coming eral Electric in the Middle and faculty. Cost: Free. An amendment was added stating that the directory informa- cian and the development of an international plastic in” from the RG&E transformers. “As a result, circuit B1, which services East and Africa. Cost: Free. RIT Men’s Hockey BBQ tion for purposes of emergency notification is only to be used for and packaging conference. buildings seven, nine, and several other buildings, failed.” Campus Week of Dia- and Pep Rally: Stadium emergency notifications. Students may also opt out of receiving logue: Arun Gandhi: Field, 6:30 p.m.–8:30 p.m. emergency notifications. Founded in 1902, APC is a privately-owned company. “At that point, we knew it was something RG&E would have to come in Fireside Lounge, 3 p.m.– A Pep Rally for the hockey APC has been donating to RIT since 2004, when for,” said Cobo. RG&E was contacted at around 8:00 p.m. with an initial 4:30 p.m. A discussion about team, before they play the big Club Affiliation RIT received $90,000 for packaging science research. estimate to have power restored by 11:00 p.m., but that target was pushed non-violence with Mahatma game against Cornell Univer- Although Representative at Large Matt Danna originally proposed The grant gave two students a one-year tuition backward several times over the course of the night. FMS was hoping to Gandhi’s grandson. Cost: Free. sity. Go team go! Cost: Free. that there be a 15 minute cap on discussion of this issue, the stipend. The company has over 500 employees and get some kind of priority for getting an RG&E crew to restore power. Said Walk Into a Night- debate continued long after. A committee is being formed to fur- quarter of a billion dollars in annual sales. Accord- Cobo: “It didn’t matter that we were RIT instead of a house in the suburbs. Tuesday mare: Grace Watson Hall, ther look into issues clarifying the process of obtaining Student ing to its website, APC has invested more than 150 Now that the crisis has passed, we’re going to question response times 23 A Contrar- 8 p.m.–12 a.m. A Hallow- Government club affiliation. billion dollars in new technology. Its clients include from RG&E.” ian View of een event where there will companies such as General Mills and Hershey. Corporate Social Re- be food and other holiday SGTV RIT’s account representative at RG&E did not respond to requests for com- sponsibility: Building 12- cheer… or fear. Cost: Free. The issue of making SGTV accessible to Deaf and Hard of Hear- Schottland said that through the donation, “we are ments at press time. 1225 and 12-1235, 4 p.m.–5:45 Friday Night in the Ritz: ing students was addressed. Close captioning SGTV would cost able to join hands with the innovative and creative p.m. A discussion with Jon Fly Upright Kite: Ritz, 10 $31,000. Instead of spending the money, there will be a camera juices of the student body with our technology Cobo said, “Once we knew our gear had no power, we made sure all our Entine, award-winning p.m.–12 a.m. Come listen to constantly pointed at the interpreters, which will be included in [which will] benefit us, our suppliers, customers, switches and fuses were OK, so we wouldn’t have to fix anything on our columnist for Ethical Corpora- Boston-based Fly Upright the corner of the broadcast. Noted President Wolf, “It’s not the and the students.” end.” FMS and RG&E crews worked through the night. According to the RIT tion Magazine. Cost: Free. Kite play their own version most graceful solution, but at least we can reach out to our [Deaf website, power was restored by 5:58 a.m. on Tuesday. • of indie/powerpop. Cost: $1. and Hard of Hearing] constituents.” •

 News | 10.19.07  Halloween on Ice by Lacey Senese | photograph by Eric Ruby

oblins, witches, and a bunch ard Park, a fourth year student ind of grapes gathered on Satur- who was decked out as Jack day, October 13, at the Frank Sparrow. Aided by applause Ritter Ice Arena for CAB’s Hal- from the crowd, CAB revealed lowin’ Let me ing the concert solo during his set. added color and warmth to the loween on Ice. The turnout was the winnor of the costume B s t a r t o f f band’s already rich sound. sizeable, and some even found contest. And the winner was… in the W by saying that And now, the moment you’ve all been themselves waiting for skates Richard Park! He won two tick- this is a biased ar- waiting for. The main event. Ladies and A few highlights included a their size. As the disco ball ets to the yet to be announced by Adam Schonberg ticle. I love Bob Dylan. gentlemen… Bob Dylan. With an expertly show-stopping rendition of illustration by Erin Wengrovius turned and the colorful lights winter concert put on by CAB. I think he is a visionary compiled set of songs old and new, Dylan “Highway 61 Revisited” halfway twinkled, I witnessed a few in every sense of the word. played non-stop for two hours, keeping through the set, a heartbreak- fellow students fall on the cold Erik Bellandi, a fourth year Me- His writing and music speaks to me, if not the entire audience, enthralled. ing “Desolation Row,” and an ice. Luckily, we at RIT aren’t too chanical Engineering student, me like no other artist’s work ever Dylan kicked off the set with a rollicking interpretation of the original- heartless, so we lent our hands expressed disappointment that has, and he is my favorite musician of renditionw of “Rainy Day Women No’s 12 & ly acoustic “Masters of War,” to those in need, and went on his grape costume wasn’t even all time. 35” that got the whole audience singing which was not only chilling in our slippery ways. a runner-up. When asked to along to the chorus “Everybody must get its dark musical arrangement, explain the inspiration for his Now to address the “haters.” I heard a few people stoned.” From that point onward, I knew but also in its violent imagery After about an hour and half of costume, he had this to say: “I before and after the concert saying that the new that Dylan and his band meant business, and apocalyptic tones which hardcore skating to songs like wanted to dye my hair purple Dylan “sucks.” Back in 1965, Dylan transitioned from and were poised to bring the house down. resonate in today’s political “Sexy Back,” the costume con- anyway, so I figured I’d find a acoustic folk to full-band electric, and he was booed Speaking of which, Dylan’s band was a atmosphere. In the end, the test took place. People deemed costume to match.” at shows. Today, that “electric era” Dylan is praised tight ensemble of excellent musicians night was capped off by the worthy by CAB were given a as genius. Therefore, I do not believe that the new who complimented Dylan’s frenetic style encore. The band played two ticket to enter the contest. Not The night continued without Dylan “sucks.” He’s just different, like the ’65 Dylan quite well. songs. One from Bob’s new everyone got into the Hallow- any ice-related injuries, as ev- was different. While I admit that Dylan is not as album, and one song I’m sure een spirit and dressed up, but eryone lapped the rink. I over- extraordinary as he was in ’65, he is still leaps and Bob’s set organization was perfect— the no one expected: “Blowin’ in those who did lined up in the heard one student cheerfully bounds better than a lot of other modern musicians. band would play a classic tune, then the Wind.” Another originally hallway to be judged. It came saying, “I feel like a little kid!” slow it down with a few lesser-known acoustic song turned fully or- down to three: Iggy, a fifth as he sped past me. The fes- That being said, the October 9 concert in the Field tracks alongside material from Bob’s chestrated powerhouse, the year Information Technol- tivities came to an end around House was essentially in three parts. The opening newest album, only to bring it all back song was electrifying. De- ogy New Media student who 2 a.m. By that time, I was not act was a contemporary folk rock/alternative band home with another classic tune before spite having heard the origi- (in my opinion) looked better the only one who was glad to named Amos Lee, who played for about 45 minutes. repeating the cycle. In fact, to my sur- nal countless times, the sheer as Batman’s “the Joker” than finally get my feet out of those Although I was not particularly impressed by their prise, the band played quite a few tunes power and genius of this live Jack Nicholson; Erin Redshaw, tight skates! Overall, Hallow- music, the band was nevertheless heavily influenced off Dylan’s latest album Modern Times. rendition sent a chill up my a second year Illustration ma- een on Ice was a killer success, by Dylan, setting the tone for the evening. Next was Also surprisingly, Dylan only played spine and almost brought a jor who somehow managed and every goblin, witch, and “I feel like a Elvis Costello’s solo performance— another 45 min- guitar for the first two or three songs, tear to my eye. • to skate around in her bloody grape alike had a good time. • ute set. Personally, I don’t listen to Elvis Costello. This and then rocked out on keyboards and fallen angel costume (weren’t is not out of dislike for his music, but simply a lack harmonica for the rest of the night. This you freezing in those fish net little kid!” of interest. However, I respect Costello as a skillful change of pace caught me off guard at first. stockings?!); and finally, Rich- musician, and he certainly deserves credit for carry- Ultimately, it worked, and the keyboard

 Leisure | 10.19.07 AT YOUR The RIT Division I Men’s Hockey Cornell on October 27th at the LEISuRE October 19, 07 team is facing off against THINGS, STUFF, AND PEOPLE, TOO... and to celebrate we’re having a SUDOKU QUOTE show Difficulty rating: Medium “A woodland in full color is awesome as a forest fire, in magnitude at least, but a single Come and enjoy some free food! 6 3 2 tree is like a dancing tongue of flame to warm the heart.” Hal Borland pep rally! 2 1 6

9 3 5 8 CARTOON | by Alex Salsberg 3 2 6 1 your 3 4 1 6 7 9 6 1 4 5 5 2 8 spirit! 9 3 8

SO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ROCHESTER... 1 Which of the following student organiza- tions isn’t considered a Major Student Organization (MSO)? a. College Activities Board b. Global Union c. Anime Club d. Reporter REPORTER RECOMMENDS Haunting a haunted house. Even if 2 During the October 8 storm, which build- it’s been your childhood dream to be ing on campus didn’t lose power? a professional boogieman, you’re a a. Building 1 month too late to get a gig at any of b. Building 7A the local scare fairs. Instead, go to a c. Building 7B haunted house and show the spooks d. Building 77 who’s boss. When they jump out at you, fall to the floor, play dead, and FREE FOOD AND 3 How many million square feet of land have your partner break down into does RIT own? a fit of hysterics, shaking your limp ENTERTAINMENT! a. 1.2 body, crying, and blaming the poor b. 3.7 employee. Or just bring your own mask RIT DIVISION I MEN’S c. 5.1 and find a deep dark corner to haunt. HOCKEY TEAM, PEP BAND d. 7.4 Say you’re the “new guy” if any of the AND CORNER CREW WILL October 26 5 How many calories are you consuming if other staff members mention that BE THERE! 4 Which of the following is the tallest build- you eat a dozen chicken wings at they don’t recognize you. Add a bit of ing in Rochester? the Ritz? originality and spunk to your routine. SIGN UP FOR FREE BUS 6:30–8:30 pm a. Bausch and Lomb Place a. 480 I’ve been cussed out by haunted house RIDES b. Tower b. 640 employees for being an unflinching TO HOCKEY GAME. c. Tower c. 720 asshole, but the scariest thing I’ve TICKET OFFICE WILL BE Clark Gym d. Chase Tower d. 1080 ever had shouted at me by a masked OPEN DURING RALLY! man was: “WHO WANTS GRAPES?” Appropriately, he emerged from the shadows with a bundle of grapes. When

ANSWERS: 1) c 2) a 3) c 4) b 5) d 5) b 4) c 3) a 2) c 1) ANSWERS: denied, he screamed, “WHY NOT?”

11 to the NCAA Division III Championships at Wilmington Col- lease of the Wii. Together, we looked over Making the Trade All the Way lege in Wilmington, Ohio. They finished 19th out of 133 teams. Avoiding some company financials and evaluated In order to actually buy stocks or funds, Not a bad finish, for a team which had not made it to Na- Nintendo’s competitors. After doing our you will need to open a brokerage account. to Nationals: tionals in the past few years. Carl Phelps, a third year Inter- Financial “homework,” we bought in at $18 per share. There are many online brokerages that are national Business major, elaborated on the team’s perfor- Two years later, with Wii consoles selling friendly to novices. Two brokerages you Men’s Cross Country mance last season: “We had a really successful season last Armageddon like hot cakes, the stock is trading at an all- might want to check out are Scottrade.com by Geoff Shearer year, one of the most successful in many years. This year, by Michael Percia | President, RIT Financial time high of over $70 per share. An invest- and TDAmeritrade.com. They charge less photograph by Jeremiah Tamagna-Darr we lost some of our top runners, but I think that the winning at- Management Association ment of $500 in Nintendo just two years than $10 to buy or sell shares. Make sure titude that we developed last year has carried over…. We made ago would now be worth about $2,000! you read through all of the fees, and look Running ten miles non-stop, for most people, would be the lon- Nationals for the first time in a long time. It was a big deal for all This week’s installment at the minimum amount needed to open gest they’ve run in a long time, if not ever. But for RIT’s Cross the veterans on the team, and we’re trying to repeat that success Investing 101 Alternatively, check Yahoo! Finance or In- an account. • Country team, these ten mile runs are the least aggressive this year.” Coach Warth agrees, stating that the team’s greatest vestopedia.com for comprehensive refer- of their practices— merely a “maintenance” run for them to strength is experience: “This team knows what it takes to be If you had put $100 of your high school ences to current stocks. “rest up” before a big meet. successful, and can use their experience to try and achieve this graduation money in a lockbox five years year.” It was important to remember, he said, “How hard these ago, how much buying power would that The team places based on their top five performers and are men and women work. Their entire lifestyle revolves around run- money have today? Surprisingly, the an- ranked against competing teams for that meet. Each men’s ning and cross-country. Their eating, sleeping, and socializing all swer isn’t $100. It’s about $87. The culprit: race is eight kilometers (five miles) and each women’s race impact performance.” inflation, a general rise in prices over time. is either five or six kilometers (about three miles). So far this Wondering if investing is really worth it? season, the men’s team has performed in the top half of every The top two teams at the NCAA Regionals automatically go to Consider this fact: if you were to invest meet, with their worst performance being a 7th out of 15 finish the National meet and, in addition, there can be up to three “at $1,000 in Microsoft back in 1986, it would at the Geneseo Invitational, and their best being a 1st out of 11 large” bids given the chance to go to Nationals. “Ours is typically be worth around $375,000 today. finish in Houghton, at the Highlander Invitational. one of the strongest regions in the nation, so [our division] usu- ally gets all three of those ‘at large’ bids. If we come in the top Getting Started Last Saturday, the Tigers, a Division III team, attended a Divi- five at the regional meet, we would most likely be going to the Okay, you may be saying, “The last time I sion I meet in Albany, aptly named the Albany Invitational. National meet.” checked, it wasn’t hip to talk about com- Running against Division I teams with a faster pace, the team pany balance sheets and economic indica- expected to run and finish with faster-than-typical times. The sport is a lot different from others, in that throughout all tors with my friends. It’s much more fun The team managed to take second place, which was a huge the meets in the season, it’s not about win/loss. It’s more about to spend, spend, and spend. Investing for surprise, considering the D1 competition. The Albany Invita- how the team places compared to others. More specifically, tomorrow requires foregoing consumption tional serves as an experience for the Tigers and places them the performances at the end of the season decide the ultimate today.” Right? UpgrAdE with high-quality athletes. Coach Dave Warth remarked, “We fate of the team, notably the regional qualifier, which is being are not as highly ranked this year (seventh instead of fifth), held in New York City on November 10th. Wrong! Getting started is as easy as cash- but I believe we will surprise some teams and make it into ing in all those beer cans that you have YOUr gEAr Nationals.” Phelps delves deeper into the importance of the team at stuffed in your closet. It’s hard to believe, Up TO large, “At the end of the season, it’s only the top seven or ten but you can start investing with as little As Coach Warth indicates, this season comes after last year’s [runners] that go to the post-season meets, but the whole team as a couple of hundred dollars. The sooner exceptional finish for the men’s team, which led the Tigers helps those people get to that point, everyone pushes the person you cash in those beer cans, the better! in front of them, and that’s why the whole team is important.” And you will be in good company— half of American households currently own 20% OFF * Phelps’ fastest time this season on the eight kilometer run is 27:14 stock. Everything in the store at Geneseo Invitational. Depending on the weather and course conditions, he intends to break the 27-minute mark, stressing A Variety of Investment Choices SALE October 18-21 that it’s more important than how one places. If you’re one of those people who always Eastern Mountain Sports will donate 1% of the proceeds of this sale to has a difficult time deciding on which ice The Conservation Alliance and the Access Fund. For more information “The key of our sport is to be consistent in that you work hard cream flavor to pick at Ben and Jerry’s about these organizations, please visit www.conservationalliance.com every day— day after day, week after week, season after season, because they all are so appetizing, then and www.accessfund.org. year after year. If you work hard, you’re only going to get better I have some bad news for you. With over in the years to come,” Phelps said. 9,700 stocks to choose from in the United The RIT mens Cross Country team starts States itself, you may feel overwhelmed

the Geneseo Invitational October 6. The next meet for the men’s team is October 20th at 11:45 am in with choices. *% off regular retail. Not valid on Merrell®, Patagonia®, or UGG® footwear; repurchase of returned merchandise; gift cards; or rentals. Cannot be combined with other offers or coupons. Valid on in-stock Saratoga Springs, New York. • merchandise only. Other restrictions may apply. See www.ems.com/offers or visit store for details. A helpful option for beginners is buying stock in companies that you know. Two years ago, along with several of my friends, I bought stock in Nintendo (NTDOY.PK). They were drooling over the upcoming re-

12 Sports | 10.19.07 www.ems.com RITRings On Love, Communication, and 585.672.4840 Giving a Dolphin a Handjob compiled by Ryan Metzler by Casey Dehlinger illustration by Mike norton All calls subject to editing and truncation. Not all calls will be run. Reporter reserves the right to publish all calls in any format. There were whispers streaming through of ten weeks, the dolphin would become and almost always reciprocated. It’s easy Thursday 6:44 p.m. Mainly it’s the fact that RIT is sexist. Think RIT openly supplied me with alcohol and our quaint brick campus all through erect, unruly, and difficult to work with, enough to respond, “I love you” when you Oh my God Reporter, you’ll never get this. I about it: There are so many nerdy guys I am underage. I went to the President September. Mostly, girls surreptitiously unless manually stimulated. After a min- really don’t mean it, but it’s damn near am at a party, and I just met five guys and here, but for every nerdy guy there is a Alumni Dinner, and they openly supplied gushed to one another, in excited tones imum of two handjobs (often three), the impossible to fake a kiss or a massage, or I [chatted with] them all and my boyfriend nerdy girl. Since we have so many nerdy with a wine glass. I just want to say that that could be overheard: “I hear the kid dolphin would stop acting violent and con- even something as harmless as a hug. has no idea. This has been the best night guys who go here, that means that all the this is inappropriate, and I do not ap- who hacked the iPhone is going here! He’s tinue with the games and vocabulary-ori- ever. girls who go here are nerdy. There are no prove. going to be so rich someday!” They seemed ented tasks. By week ten, Howe and Peter Unfortunately, almost all of any man’s ac- good women, and I just want to let you to want nothing more than to be in George were perhaps equally successful in their tions are misconstrued as a plea for sex. Friday 12:04 a.m. that it’s upsetting me. It’s [not an optimal Saturday 12:48 p.m. Hotz’s iPhone, a single entry in his digi- goals of language communication and Take Dalton Trumbo’s novel Johnny Got His Hey RIT Rings, in page twelve of the Re- situation]! I’m a little pissed off about the “Humans tal black book, even though they couldn’t sexual communication, respectively. Gun, for example. A soldier who has lost porter this week, there is an ad for Wisner Versus Zombies” article. Basically, the point him out in a police line-up. use of his eyes, ears, mouth, arms, and & Wisner, LLP. I think saying “Wisner” in Friday 2:32 a.m. guy from Campus Life is taking it out of Does sex get in the way of communica- legs is given a medal of honor (he feels it your name just once is enough. So, that’s [A set of two offensive words repeated hand by comparing Virginia Tech and It takes a special sort of campus to war- tion? American sitcoms love to portray pinned on his chest, and feels the presence point one. Point two: they are DWI defense three times]… Powerbar. Columbine to Nerf guns. That is basically rant techie groupies, but the fundamen- white, beer-addicted men in unhappy mar- of spectators from the vibrations on his lawyers, and their tagline is: “DWI Defense, demeaning all of the people who died in tals are the same, no matter where you riages as poor parents who alienate their neck through his firm bed). Not wanting it’s all we do.” So, they’re scumbags and Friday 10:27 a.m. Virginia Tech and Columbine. Nerf Guns! are. Every gender dating study shows that communication-obsessed wives with their the medal, or anything to do with the war you should [instructions to commit violent RIT Rings, the Gleason Clock is being fixed Come on! It’s a game of tag. They’re using guys go for looks and girls go for money. indomitable desire for sex. Outside of tele- that took his life from him, he spasms and actions removed]. and it makes my life sadder than no ice an emotionally charged subject to justify And when the tits sag and kicks and thrashes at every cream on a hot day. stopping the game, that’s [not an optimal the money dries up, the thing moment he can find the ener- Friday 12:24 a.m. situation]. that keeps couples together gy to do so, trying desperately Hey babe, it’s me. Just calling to say we’re Friday 1:18 p.m. is communication. (Ironically, to tell someone, anyone, one enjoying a fresh brew of Saranac’s Pump- My dad sawed my damn plane in half. I Saturday 6:05 pm odds are that Hotz’s iPhone no of the most important things kin Ale and we’re really tasting the pump- asked him to bring the motor for Orienta- Yeah, can I place an order for delivery? I longer works due to a recent he’s ever had to say. When ev- kins, tasting the pumpkins. It’s delicious. tion Week, and instead he sawed the plane want a large stuffed-crust pizza with ex- Apple software update that eryone leaves and he’s alone There is a little bit of pumpkin in every in half. tra cheese and pepperoni, and extra ham- “bricked” most of the hacked with a nurse, she mistakes his bottle. You know, the cinnamon and nut- ster. Spread the hamster around— mash it iPhones). On the bright side, thrashing for sexual frustra- meg with vanilla. Even cloves, if you will. Friday 5:45 p.m. up. Wait, what did you want to say to the no technology compares to the tion, and gives him a handjob. Well, have a good day. Hey, I just read the article “Zombie Inva- delivery guy? Yes, when the delivery guy human body’s ability to com- sion Sends the Wrong Message” and I think comes, can we request that he throws pep- municate. After all, communi- Peter the dolphin may have Friday 12:31 a.m. Chuck Lamb needs to get off his rocker if peroni everywhere? Thank you. And extra cation technology is merely an had something just as im- Hello, Reporter. You are listening to a bro- he thinks Nerf guns promote school vio- cheese, everywhere! Cheese me! Cheese interface for language, which portant to say. He may have ken man. Today, I wrote a song about my lence. I mean, why not ban flight simula- all over me! Everywhere! is perhaps the most flawed wanted to relate the meaning one true love, Rachel. ‘Oh Rachel, I think tors after 9/11, because I think that sends form of human interaction. of the universe, or express you are a [______], I can’t believe you the wrong message. Saturday 9:51 p.m. his intelligent opinion of the wouldn’t scratch my itch where it was Yeah, I’m just starting to wonder why ev- Take, for example, John Lily’s experiment he was involved last night. And Rachel, I can’t believe that Friday 6:02 p.m. ery comedian who comes to RIT has to obsession with dolphin-hu- in, or just state the fact that you did that to me, just sitting right there, I call my [man part] the cherry-picker. make fun of the deaf services. Like, what’s man communication, which he was alive and capable of infidelity. I hope you end up going where the sign for vagina? Please, someone agree reached an extreme when he flooded a vision, anyone who lets sex get in the way sharing thoughts. He brushed up against people go when they don’t believe in God. Friday 6:26 p.m. with me. “house” and made his assistant, Margaret of communication is a terrible commu- Margaret Howe and perhaps pushed her a Because you’re horrible, and I hope you Party on the cherry-picker! Oh yeah! Howe, live with a dolphin named Peter. nicator (and probably even worse in bed). little, and let out a few desperate squeals. die. Because you’re evil, and you lie. And I Sunday 1:09 a.m. For ten weeks, Howe was given the nebu- Some of the most urgent things we can try And, Miss Howe, thinking she knew what hope you get my drift, that I think you’re Saturday 12:03 a.m. Hey Rings, I just want to let you know that lous task of “communicating” with Peter. to express do not show themselves from men wanted, jerked the dolphin off. And a cheating [______]… Won’t you please RIT Rings, canceling the Zombies game my friend just got dog [stuff] all over the Although the dolphin made considerable our words, but from physical interactions, how limiting it must have been for Peter come back to me? Please? I miss you! Oh was stupid! We need to bring the Zombies bottom of his foot. progress in being able to mimic human whether the action in question is a sensual to try to interface with humans through my God, I miss you, Rachel. [Continued game back, and the Director of ResLife is language and learn words like ‘ball’ and massage, or a punch to the throat. language! As Derrida would say, words crying, wailing, and sobbing.] stupid. ‘doll,’ his favorite pastime seemed to in- are just strings of signifiers, end on end, volve sensually rubbing his cohabitant’s Phrases such as “I love you” and “I hate printed on a magazine page or listened to Friday 1:25 a.m. Saturday 12:10 a.m. thigh with his teeth, which Howe initially you” are thrown around like candy at a on an iPhone. The real thing is so much Okay, so Rings, I’ve got a small complaint. Hey, I just want to let you guys know that discouraged. However, over the course parade, recited like unfocused mantras more satisfying. •

14 Views | 10.19.07 15 President Destler will match student gifts dollar-for-dollar. Your gift will be worth twice as much!

Not a club member? You can direct your gift to the area of RIT that means the most to you. Is this your club meeting? Support ROAR Day 2007 on Thursday, October 25! This is your chance to make a difference for your club. Student gifts will be directed to the club space renovation in the Student Alumni Union Woodward Pool area. What’s the “ROAR” all about? ROAR Day is the kick off of RIT’s annual fundraising effort. Last year more than 360 students made a gift on ROAR Day, providing over $1,000 in support for Student Government and other areas of RIT. We hope to double the number of students participating in ROAR Day this year. You can help make RIT an even greater place! Give at a ROAR Day location, or visit www.rit.edu/makeagift.

ROAR DAy LOCATIOnS: 8:00 am – 10:00 am 10:30 am – 2:00 pm 11:00 am – 2:00 pm 8:00 pm – 10:00 pm 4:00 pm – 7:00 pm Davis Room/SAU Cafeteria Crossroads SAU Lobby Watson lobby — Shumway Commons Golisano College Atrium in front of Gracie’s Student Life Center 10:00 pm – 11:00 pm Wallace Library Corner Store