VERY VA RY VERI Theory

the late nineties, and in a fairly short time the Bus Wars Chinatown bus lines had secured a competitive edge on the low-end market. A number of by Jerome Byron Hord larger companies began to imitate the curbside model of the Fung Wah and Lucky Star by Without a doubt, the New York City Department opening subsidiary bus companies (à la Bolt of Transportation and the Federal Motor Carrier Bus), but this move did little to intercept the Safety Administration terminated “Chinatown” flow of loyal Chinatown bus riders. Then, a few Bus Service company Fung Wah to gain price years ago, the charming myths—which control over the market. Adding insult to injury, centered around the possibility of riding with corporate bus giants Greyhound and Peter Pan live chickens—turned into vicious rumors, team up and quietly debuts“Yo! Bus” to plug the focused on death by decapitation. The seed vacuum, wrapping a whole bunch of clichés into of Chinatown bus hysteria was planted. one package, and charging you and me more for it. In April 2013, US Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood created a new division of the Upon hearing the news in 2012 that before Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration the year was up, most of the budget Chinatown (FMCSA) called “Operation Quick Strike,” bus lines connecting New York, Boston and an imitation SWAT team comprised of bus Philadelphia would be shut down for safety inspectors that would revoke bus licenses on concerns, I was devastated. Okay sure, some the spot. In short order, Lucky Star was of these allegations seemed legit. Anyone suspended by Operation Quick Strike who has spent the four and a half grueling inspectors. FMCSA reported a “broken hours (I’ve seen it take ten) traveling back emergency exit,” which in actuality was out of and forth from Boston’s South Station to alignment and easily snapped back into place by New York Chinatown has most definitely one of the onsite officers. Other reports issued seen some wild shit go down. Besides the by FMCSA found it “damning” that Lucky Star complete lack of driver supervision and the broke down as often as it did did—a whopping occasional breakdown, the Chinatown bus once per every 38,750 miles on the road! (By the simply attracted some of East Coast’s weirdest. way, a flat tire constitutes a bus breakdown.) Personal space simply doesn’t exist on the Not long after, Fung Wah met its demise at Chinatown bus, meaning your shoulder the hands of the FMCSA too. This time, over inevitably becomes a pillow for the stranger allegations of frame cracks found in multiple sitting beside you. And then there are the smells buses. As it turns out, frame cracks have no and sounds. Believe me, I get it, the Chinatown effect on the structural integrity of buses. But it bus could be a total bummer. But hey, it was didn’t matter. Even more painful is the fact that ten bucks for a one-way ticket and as a broke only a month after Fung Wah was forced off the college student living in New York City, it was road, the Commercial Vehicle Safety Alliance all I needed. began rewriting its own guidelines aimed at The now defunct Fung Wah began in “alleviating any misdiagnosed violations” 1988 by a restaurateur with a mission. Pei Lin derived from frame cracks. Liang wanted to move commuting workers So, with the major Chinatown bus from Brooklyn to Manhattan as quickly players out of the picture, what on earth were and cheaply as possible. Chinese immigrant commuters to do? The corporate coaches were parents wanting to visit their children in too expensive and worse, they didn’t offer the Boston took notice, and soon the curbside bus relaxed booking policies the Chinatown buses line was established. Other Chinatown bus offered. But all of a sudden, without notice, companies like Lucky Star were founded in the deus ex machina of New England interstate 79 VERY VA RY VERI coaching fell from above. Like a holy fist bump slips on his words during an interrogation from God, the clouds parted and a new service standoff with Detective Benson, the appeared to reinstate the cheap, fun, and microphone blares on: “THANK YOU FOR fast that we had lost with Fung Wah. Or so RIDING WITH US ON GREYHOU— I thought. Yo! Bus was born. I mean, Yo bus..” At first sight, it’s apparent shit is going Shocking! (I guess.) But, we all saw way wrong. The website offers five tickets per it coming. Whether the Chinatown bus day, ranging from twenty-two to thirty dollars crackdown was as much of a backroom– depending on time, being offered apparently backhand to competitiveness as it appears, it is on behalf of a troupe of multi-ethnic teenaged clear that the politically connected corporate best friends. Then there’s the bus, which is carriers have benefited tremendously from washed, and shimmering vermillion red, and has the recent shutdowns. The Yo! Bus is but the words “Yo!” scrawled in huge white letters one example of a blatant rip-off by large bus followed by Chinese characters. As their website giants who are dependent on the image of the describes, “Yo!’ is derived from the pronunciation Chinese bus model. And this gets to the crux of of the Chinese word that means ‘to protect.’ It also the issue. New Yorkers are accustomed to the serves as a nod to the Philadelphia community, inevitability of the corporate hustle— but this where ‘yo!’ as an enthusiastic greeting was born.” is a new, and rather offensive, low. You can take Seriously? Cooper Union, the Folk Art Museum, our long Thankfully the bus still boards in established neighborhood bars and replace them Chinatown, on Pike Street close to Canal. with shiny things that make us go “Ooooh”— However, after you’re on, it’s only about 15 But please have a little respect for the cultural seconds before you start to suspect something DNA that defines us. Don’t destroy it in order sinister is afoot. Just like an episode of Law & to make a pisspoor imitation and sell it to back Order: SVU, small clues begin to surface. to us for triple. Give us a little more credit. You ask yourself questions like, “Where are the Chinese staff and crew?” or, “Why are there Jerome Byron Hord (M.Arch II ‘14) little grey dogs embroidered on these seats?” Holds a B.Arch from the Pratt Institute. And, just like the clumsy perp who inevitably

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