SaturdayMarch 24 2012 Therichersex Howhappy arefemalebreadwinners? Plus AlastairSawday’sbudgetguidetoEurope

Travel starts on We ekend page 19 Popcorn & I’dnever stop taking icecream antidepressants 8-pagepullout Sharon Osbourneonhow shecopes with livingwithOzzy

Mixedberry sorbets

Bakedcaramel popcorn

Chocolate ice-creamcones THE TIMES Saturday March 24 2012 2 Weekend

Inside ‘I don’tthink I’mdifficult, butIam confrontational’ Body&Soul Thesecrets of TIMES PHOTOGRAPHER, BARRY J. HOLMES DAVE HOGAN /GETTY IMAGES Sharon Osbourne, festivalhasmarkedtheendofwinterwith Scandinavianparenting6 and right, with, from animpressivedisplayofrareflowers. left, Jack, Ozzy and Celebratespringtime withahostofsellers, My weekend Kelly in 2004 Greatdaysout local exhibitorsandexpertsonhand to answeryourquestions. this weekend Today10am-5pm,tomorrow Sharon Osbourne 10am-4pm,£3 adults,under-16sfree, falmouth.co.uk/see-and-do/ tells Tim Teeman falmouth-spring-festival TheFifteenCornwallSpring howshe survived Farmers’Market, SpinningaYarnat theMary WatergateBay,Newquay RoseMuseum,Portsmouth violence, beat cancer Travelbackintime andexperience Foodieswill lovethis popularfarmers’ Tudorcraftsatthislivedemonstration andstays married market,hostedbyJamieOliver’s Fifteen ofspinningandweavingbythe Cornwallandstockedwithfresh,spring PortchesterSpinners. vegetables,seasonalCornishfish,local Todayandtomorrow10am-4pm,free here are twofluffy dogs — meatandawealthof artisanfoods. withavalidadmission ticket, 12othersareathome—and Aspiringchefscanalsotakepartina historicdockyard.co.uk so manyassistants that likeapity-pot,but Ithought,‘Ineedsome- pasta-makingworkshop. maybe the dogs have assist- thing’,soItooksome fabpills, lifewasgood Today9am-3:30pm,free(£20for Sainsbury’sSportRelief ants. Sharon Osbourne is afterthat.”Antidepressants? Osbourne pasta-makingworkshopwiththe dressedinablack trouser Sharon nods: “Zoloft.”Doesshe still takethem? Fifteenteam),fifteencornwall.co.uk Mile,London T suit,her hair its familiar “Yes,absolutely,Iwouldn’t even tryto Dress upandjogondowntoTheMall Osbourne’s neon red. Shehas justfinishedfilmingan comeoffthem.” TallTrees,Deep Earth, foradayofactivefundraising.Enterone, perfect threeorsix-mileevents alongaroute Gardens editionof theCBS chat show,TheTalk,and Osbourne confessestothinkingabout Amesbury,Salisbury in her Hollywood dressingroom is saltily weekend leaving her marriage, “and I’m sure he thatincludesHorseGuardsParade, candid and indiscreet,everyfourth word a musthave. I’m not Mother Teresa. Iused Jointhestoryteller LizzieBryantonawalk theQueenVictoriaMemorial and JoeSwift’sguideto “f***”.When asked if sheprefers Strictly Earlyto riseorlie-in? to scream andshout.Youget olderand you across theStonehengelandscapeand BuckinghamPalace. Allmoney raised magnificentmagnolias12 Come Dancing over The XFactor,onwhich Lie-in think, ‘What am Igettingsoworked up discoverthetreesthat inhabitthisancient willbeusedtohelpdisadvantaged shewas ajudge from 2004 to 2007, GreatBritishfry-upor about? Life’stoo short’.” Aftershe had cornerof England. communitiesintheUKandtheworld’s Osbourne exclaims in her raspyCockney- freshfruitsmoothie? cancer diagnosed, “you re-evaluateyour Tomorrow,meeting onFargoRoad in poorestcountries. ishsqueak: “Are youcrazy? Iwouldn’t OhGod,fry-up life, things that seem important aren’t”. Larkhill3pm,£5adults,£1children, Tomorrow8.30am-4pm,£6adults, watch XFactor now I’m not on it. Iadore Yogaorhitthe gym? Shethought shewould die during“avery 08442491895,www.visitwiltshire.co. £3children,£15familyoffour, Strictly.I’m addictedtoit, alwayshave Yoga.Howdareyou darktimewhenIwashavingbloodtransfu- uk/salisbury/whats-on sportrelief.com been.”Would shewant to takepart? “No,” suggestthatIperspire? sionsandverysick”.Osbournerecentlydis- shecackles, mock-horrified, “I want to be LAorLondon? coveredshe has “the gene forcolon cancer ClassicCarSpectacular, JuniorSpringwatch activity on DowntonAbbey.” Is sheadiva?“I’m a That’sreallyhard.Life’s easy and breastcancer”. Last year shehad her day, AylesburyVale,Bucks team player,but if Idon’t get the respectI here.Butthere’sbullshit breastimplants removedand breasts EventCity,Manchester deserve Ibecome abitch because Ican. everywhere,everyone’sa reduced. “Now there’snopossibilityofit Thispopularfamily dayout nearthe Achanceto getup closetowildlife I’veearnedtheright.” networker.I’mdirect happeningthere. Idon’t want to keep Trafford Centre showcasesawide andtakepartingames, craftsand Herswearybattleaxecharacter explo- Agegracefully or goingtoget checked,every lump and selectionofvintagevehicles,aswell as workshopssuchaswillowweaving,den dedpublicly in The Osbournes,the MTV disgracefully? bump,alwayswaiting. Ican’tlivelikethat.” liveentertainmentfrom thecyclestunt building,awelly-boot throwing show following Osbourne, husband Ozzy Itwouldhavetobe Herand Ozzy’smarriage is now acalm teamZero Gravity. competitionandferretracing.Suitablefor (they have areported£110 million for- gracefully.OfcourseIhave one. “He’ll say‘I’m not doingthat’, I’ll say, Todayandtomorrow9.30am-6pm, familiesandchildren aged4andover— tune), children Kelly and Jack and their theoddwildnighton ‘Yes,youf***ingare’andhesays‘Allright’.” £10adults,£5under-15s,under-10sfree, wearclothestogetdirtyin. manypooingdogs: “Noone gave adamn thetiles.Becauseyou’rea Doesshe takeorders from him? “Yes,to cheshireautopromotions.co.uk Today11am-3pm,free,Jonathan Page about us and suddenly we were being certainagedoesn’tmean rest and takecare of myself, which Idon’t. I PlayCentre, 147Meadowcroft, invitedeverywhere,”Osbourne laughs. youcan’thave fun have so much respectfor him. He says we TheLondonFestivalof Aylesbury,01296585188, When their livesbecame “a f***ingzoo”, Nightatthemovies or are likebread and butter, we fit together. www.aylesburyvaledc.gov.uk the seriesended.OnThe XFactor shebat- DVDonthesofa? It’s meant to be.Ican’t imagine lifewithout RailwayModelling, tledwith Simon Cowell, finally leaving Movies,Ilovegoingtothe my husband.”Theyhavesexataparticular AlexandraPalace,London FashionEmbroidery afterafeud with Dannii Minogue, afellow cinema time. “Heloves DavidLetterman. We lie in andStitch show,NEC, judge. Besides The Talk she’sajudge on nated in him almoststranglingher to becauseshe’snotinvincible.”SheandOzzy ble heavies.Myfather thought he wasthe Datenightordinnerwith bedand watchitand he says, ‘Ohwe’vegot London’s leadingrailway modelling America’sGot Talent and voicesMama death, alcoholism, drug addiction and sur- blamedthemselves fortheir children’s Godfather and it waslike, ‘Noyou’re not, friends? time before Letterman’s monologue’.” She showtakesplaceatthishistoricvenue. Birmingham Thefestivalincludesmorethan 40 Travel Hook in aDisney cartoon, Jake and the viving colon cancer.While their children, addictions. “When your kids end up on the you’reastupid,oldJew’.”Washe athreatto Datenight:Ozziewillmake laughs.“Ilie backandthinkof theQueen.” SeecostumesfromtheDowntonAbbeyTV NeverLand Pirates,basedonPeterPan. I’mnot includingtheir oldest daughter Aimee wrongroad youblame nobody but your- her? “Big time. Ihad to totally cuthim out thereservation Osbourne wants “no fireworks, justa workingmodelrailway layouts,interactive series, learnaboutthehistoryof lace BenMacintyre learns “There are similarities,”concedes (who has rejectedfame, “which Ireally self: ‘I should have set more guidelines, ofmy life.” MadonnaorMetallica? nice, quiet dinner with the family”tocele- exhibits,demonstrationsandacolouring making,trysilk-screenprintingandwatch to sailintheGreek Osbourne, 59,ofthe piratical matriarch. planningmore admire, she’sbeen offeredshitloads of beenstricter.’Youcarryaroundthis guilt.” Howand whyhas shemadeher and Metallicaarereally good brateher 60th birthdayinOctober.“I’m competitionforyoungvisitors. craftdemonstrations. “She standsfornononsense. We’retwoold ‘‘ money”)wereyoung,Osbourneworkedas Osbourne’schildhood sounds Goth- Ozzy’smarriage work? The receivedwis- friends,butI’drathersee lucky to have survivedand be working. I’m Today10am-5pm,tomorrow Todayandtomorrow,9.30am-5.30pm islands24 bats.Idon’tthinkI’mdifficult,butIamcon- surgery. Idon’t aband manager.“Women who don’thave ically nuts. “I wasbeaten, taught to shut domisthat victims of domestic violence Madonna happywith the wayIlook. Idon’t want to 10am-4.30pm,£11adults,£5children (5pmSunday), £11.50adults,under16s frontational. To survive in such acut- to work don’trealise how lucky they are to up.” Herfather managedbands including should leave their partners. “I did try, but SimonCowellor Piers looklikeasexygrandmother.I’m not (5-14),£32family(twoadultsandthree free.www.ichf.co.uk throat,rottenbusiness youhavetobe, or want to wake spend everyminuteofthe daywith their Black Sabbath, forwhich Ozzywas the wasunhappier on my own. Iwent back Morgan? goingtostartwearingbloody Louboutins children),model-railways-live.co.uk CompiledbyTom Goulding youhavetobeanetworker,whichI’mnot.” children.It’s agift,”she says. vocalist. Shedidn’t attend her mother’s because Ilovehim.”Eventhough he beat Neither.LouisWalsh and miniskirts. Iliketodress as awoman, Is that whyshe quit XFactor?“It wasa up lookinglike Kelly,27, hasfoughtanaddictiontopain- funeral.“Thatwouldhavemademeahypo- you? “Nobody enjoys that,it’savery easy not ateenager.” As forplastic surgery, on Kings andQueensFamily dumb move,but emotionally right. It wasa acondom killers. Jack, 26, consideredsuicide, battled crite.Ihadaterriblerelationshipwithher.I trap to get caught in. But I’m tooproud to which shehas spent areported£300,000: HistoryDay,Trowbridge huge show,itpaid so well, so much came an addiction to OxyContin, and did “loads don’tthink sheeverliked me. Shenever show vulnerability. Iwasn’t the kind of per- “I’vehad ashitload done. I’m never going from it. But Iwasn’t happy, so Iwalked of drugs and drinking”,asheonce said. said shewas proud of me, Igot nothing son to call agirlfriend and say, ‘Can Istayat to look20, Idon’t want to.But Idon’t want Museum,Trowbridge away with dignity.”She laughs. “Simon “When you’re youngyou mess up,” their from her.” Shethinks her mother felt yours with my kids?’ Ihit him back —with mychinrestingonmybreasts.I’mnotplan- Testyourknowledgeof theBritish alwaysends up firingeveryone anyway.I mothersays,“buttheyhave learntthrough competitive because of Sharon’s close rela- pans, pots, everything. Ididn’t justtakeit. It ningany more. Everythingiswhere it monarchyatTrowbridgeMuseum, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction. He their messes. When Iwas akid Iwould tionship with her father.“We would talk wasn’t agreat atmosphere to bringthe kids should be. Idon’t want to wake up looking witharangeof quizzes,puzzlesandfun alwayswants someone youngand perky- drink, throw up,black out. Ismoked. business at dinner.She sat there silently.I up in, but we survived. Idon’t likemykids, likeacondom.” factstodiscover. There willbeaprizefor tittedsat nexttohim.”Did Cowell ever ask They’re both great kids, they work, pay realise now shemusthavebeen suffering or anyone, to play the victim. It’s such an Acartoon serieswill feature “fictional- thehighestscoreof theday. her to return? “No, but ITV did. He ’’ their bills. They don’thaveasense of enti- from depression, but Ididn’t know at the easy card to play:‘Oh,Iwasf***edupasa ised” Osbourneslivingnextdoor to aliens. Today10.30am-3.30pm,£3 adults, wouldn’tletthemandIdon’tgiveashit’cos tlement.Icannotstand kidswhohavethat. time and didn’t want to become ‘Poor me’. kid, my parents were f***edup, that’s why The producers of CelebrityBig Brother £2.50concessions,trowbridgemuseum. Ican go,‘F*** you’.He’snot afriend, but I It’s nogoodsayingwhose kidyouare.Who Can youimagine awoman my age saying I’m f***edup’ —especially here [in Holly- have justofferedOsbourne £500,000 to co.uk don’tnot get on with him. We lead very givesashit? It doesn’topen doors, it closes ‘I never had amother’?” Shelaughs. “I’m wood].No.We’reinchargeofourowndesti- appear.“Isaid no,” shecackles. “‘A million separatelives: I’m family-orientated,he’s them.” 60this year,I’mnearlyf***ingdead.” nies. AfterOzzygot arrested fortryingto or nothing. See you!’” Shewould love to do amoverandshaker.” Jack has been sober since he was17, she As forArden, “he wasaf***ingnight- kill me he knew he hadtostraighten up.He theatre and more Disney voiceovers. “It FalmouthSpringFlower In twoautobiographiesOsbourne ex- says, and is preparingfor first-time father- mare,”Osbourne says darkly.“He beat the wasincourt-orderedrehab and came back would be good to do somethingnice,”she Show,PrincessPavilion, posedher miserable childhoodandviolent hood. “I still don’tknow if he is an addict, shit out of everybody: guns, ‘I’m goingto intoourlivesveryslowly.” says. “I don’twant someone askingmy Falmouth COVER PHOTOGRAPH BY BARRY J. HOLMES FOR THE TIMES father,the rock manager Don Arden, vio- buthelivesthe12-stepprogramme.Kellyis kill you’.There wasalwaystrouble in our Shebecame depressed“when Ozzywas grandchild, ‘What does grandma do?’ to lenceinhermarriagetoOzzy, whichculmi- asweet soul, alaw untoherself. Iworry house: threats, violence, his two-bit,horri- adrugaddictpissingonthe floor.Isound gettheanswer,‘She’sonTV, swearing’.” Formorethanacenturythistwo-day London gets hopping for Sport Relief