Old Wives' Tales
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b-sides Jay Brandt retains a minority interest in Brandt’s and will continue to book Brandt bands, maintain the Web site, and serve as consultant and “host emeritus,” mak- ing the five-and-a-half-hour drive from New Day Cincinnati to St. Louis about once a he name “Brandt’s” has been part of month. He says Brandt’s will continue to T the Loop streetscape for years, but present longtime jazz favorites like over the past two decades the space at Whalum, Wheeler and Jeanne Trevor, 6525 Delmar Boulevard has undergone but also hopes to entice younger patrons more makeovers than Madonna. “I by bringing new musicians into the mix, started out with a natural-food store and such as fusion-jazz guitarist Todd Mos- wound up with a jazz club,” laughs Jay by, bassist Tom Kennedy’s trio, acid- Brandt, who in 1985 took over the store- jazz/remix duo Mo and Dawn, and front previously occupied by his dad’s singer-songwriters Cat Sansone and package-liquor store. Jesse Gannon. “If you go to most jazz Now Brandt is stepping back from the venues in St. Louis, it’s an older crowd,” business he shepherded from health- says Jay Brandt. “Brandt’s wants to be Jazz hands: RIck food grocery store to deli to sit-down the jazz room for the younger crowd.” Fessler (background) restaurant, just a couple of years after a — DEAN C. MINDERMAN and Adam Brandt major renovation gave birth to the Red JENNIFER SILVERBERG Carpet Lounge, a retro-flavored night- spot reusing the name (and recalling the vibe) of his parents’ club in the sto- ried Gaslight Square district. Perform- Old Wives’ Tales ers from that era, such as Mae Wheeler haron Osbourne and Courtney Love have a lot in common. They are both outspo- and Hugh “Peanuts” Whalum, have ken, headstrong women who married men that later became monstrously famous become regular attractions, and Brandt Smusicians. They both had plastic surgery. They are both known for throwing has clearly enjoyed continuing the fam- things — Love for hurling makeup at Madonna, Osbourne for pelting Iron Maiden with ily tradition. eggs. And now, they’ve both written books about themselves. But the tomes of the two However, not long after the Red Car- most (in)famous rock wives since Yoko Ono take us on vastly different — but equally sen- pet Lounge opened, Brandt’s wife’s sational — trips. Here we roll out the high (and drunk) points of each. — NIKI D’ANDREA employer, May Company, was bought by Federated Department Stores. The good news was that Cherie Brandt was offered Book Sharon Osbourne, Extreme: My Autobiography Courtney Love, Dirty Blonde: The Diaries of Courtney MARK ANDRESEN a job by Federated; the bad news was that (Springboard Press) Love (Faber and Faber, Inc.) it was in Cincinnati. As the family pre- pared to move, Jay Brandt began looking Format Chronological memoir, with a modern-day narrative Schizophrenic scrapbook, with postcards, letters, for a buyer, hoping to find someone who thread at the beginning of each chapter that has the journal entries, handwritten lyrics and Polaroid would continue Brandt’s with the same reader following “Sha-ron” around Beverly Hills for snapshots arranged in chaotic, semi-chronological format. Enter Rick Fessler, who runs a a day — April 20, 2005, to be exact. collages. chain of Cingular cell-phone stores and a small-business consulting firm, and was Synopsis Sharon Arden grows up in England. She works for Courtney Menely grows up in Oregon and is a prob- formerly married to Brandt’s niece. her music mogul father, Don Arden. He rips her off lem child. She travels to England, then later LA and “I was looking at opening up a restau- financially and treats her like crap. She marries then later Seattle, with various stops in between. She rant at one time, and was thinking about Ozzy Osbourne, becomes his manager and severs changes her last name, starts the band Hole, marries modeling it on Jay’s concept: food, wine, ties with her father. Ozzy gets drunk and abusive for Kurt Cobain and gives birth to their daughter, Frances live jazz and outdoor dining,” Fessler eleven of the next twelve chapters, but the book’s Bean. Love then becomes the (admittedly still-recov- recalls. “It’s just always been a passion of epilogue is serene. ering) “grunge widow” after Cobain’s death. mine.” Informed by Brandt’s stockbroker Surprising scene Ozzy Osbourne, “obsessed with Phil Collins” and Love penning a letter to Cobain some ten years after nephew, Adam, that the business he playing Collins’ first solo album, Face Value, over and his death, asking him to put a hex on Frances Bean’s hoped to emulate was for sale, Fessler over at full volume, until his bandmates throw the teacher. said he’d buy it — “but only if you come cassette out the window. in with me.” Adam Brandt agreed, and in December papers were signed, putting a Interesting quote Sharon Osbourne referring to Smashing Pumpkins From an early letter from Cobain to Love: “Let’s be third generation of the Brandt family in founder Billy Corgan as “a lightbulb in trousers, Yul mountain junkies and breed Satanic mall rats.” business on Delmar. Brynner’s mutant brother.” Fessler and Adam Brandt have already expanded the café’s beer and wine lists, The point Survival. Survival, sarcasm and also knowing where Many people — especially Courtney Love — are mor- and in February the kitchen will close for to find a fabulous pair of custom Heidi Klum Birken- bidly fascinated with Courtney Love. That’s partly ten days for a complete refitting. “We stocks, dahling. Osbourne tells her tale with candor because of her drug-induced duality — she can be an want to expand the menu a little bit,” and humor, and it makes for an entertaining (and amazingly intelligent, talented woman as Sober Court- Fessler says. “We thought it could use a alternately horrifying and touching) read. ney, or a plane crash hitting a train wreck as Stoned really good steak and a couple of good Courtney. Dirty Blonde shows bits of both, but leaves gourmet hamburgers, and those things plenty of demons unexorcised. required a grill back there.” riverfronttimes.com MONTH XX–XX, XXXX RIVERFRONT TIMES 1.