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The Nuttall NIXON AND THE BEE York: Fred 10 AEGIN uage exam ~ms to be a lusion a in. Pos sib rd puzzle, A. ROSS ECKLER Morristown, New Jersey
?herrin's Ivan held up the short piece of magnetic tape with scepticism. book. Lan II You say that this is the mis sing ten seconds of the notorious Water ~ibner 's gate tape 7" \;j'RST trans rds, and 14 Boris stared at his chief in surprise. 1\ Of course -- didn't I tell McPherrin you how KGB agent Nikolai Ripoff stole it from the files of Professor .11 collection. Esty of the Cornell Linguistics Department? And isn't it well-known list of 130 that Professor Esty was one of the blue-ribbon panel that investigated the original White House tape, using highly sophisticated techniques of noise suppression and message enhancement to recover the missing lif at Bell Tel words ?" ~ital computer :; as sembled II But why, 11 asked Ivan, reaching for an empty tape reel, II was : the Second there never any public report of the recovered mes sage ?tl enth Edition , Bell list, \I That's obvious, II replied Boris. 11 The message was so sensa udes only tional in import that political pressure was brought to bear on Esty common one and his colleague s to keep it quiet -- to pretend, in fact, that they of an eleetron Were unable to decipher the tape at all. I'll bet the U. S. Government will pay us a pretty kopek not to reveal its contents. 11
~t has contin By now, Ivan had expertly spooled the tape on the reel and was :;ented he re. placing the reel on the Ampex. 11 That remains to be seen, II he said d to the col dryly. He flipped the switch on, and both men leaned forward expect lIed to my antly. , New York. found by Mr. A BEE. .. Ivan turned the machine off {to ponder the import of y of them in this phrase. 11 A bee? But of course -- there must have been a bee brought in with the vase of flo we rs that always sits in the Oval Office, and Nixon has interrupted the meeting to warn the others of its pres ence. ' \ Satisfied with his interpretation, Ivan turned the machine on. SEEDY. .. This demanded a second halt for assessment. 11 Hrnmm, II mused Boris, \I no doubt the bouquet was picked and ar ranged many hour s earlier. By now. the bee has exhausted the nec tar and is slowly starving -- reflected in his debilitated appearance and sluggish movements. 11
.. , EEEE! ... The sudden Scream caught both men by surprise; clearly someone I lulled into a sense of false security by the bee I s torpidity, has tried to remove the bee from the room and has been stung. 144
· .. IF, GEE, A CHI- ... The two Russians looked at each other in bewilde rment. If this \;Vere Nixon speaking, clearly his mind h1..d POEMS been affected by the bee sting. This slurred. rambling phrase was not Nixon1s usual crisp. incisive style. Had he gone into anaphylactic shock? Was he starting to say that the china vase holding the bouquet had concealed the bee, and it would be bette r to use a cut- glas s vase in the future?
· .. JAKE, A YELL! ... Someone in the next room heard Nixon I s CHARLES F scream, and was telling his associate, Jacob, about it. Ithaca, New
· .. AMEN. 0, PEEK... By now both men were somewhat per c plexed. 11 Could the others believe that Nixon has been killed by the st ing, and they are praying over his inert body?" asked Ivan. II And a why should they have to peek at him? I'll never unders'tand the Amer t. ican way of death. II
· .. (YOU ARE ESTY) Since it is most unlikely that Profes b so r Esty was pre sent at the time of the bee sting. this tape must have been inadve rtently ove rwritten during the reconstruction expe riments in Profes sor Esty I s labo ratory, perhaps at a time when he was dis tracted by the entrance of a visitor verifying the profe ssor' s identity. A Clc · .. YOU'VE -- EEEE! '" Back on the original tape, it is appar ent that a second bee in the bouquet, heretofore unnoticed, has stung another Oval Office conferee in the middle of a sentence.
· .. DOUBLE, YOU! .•. This cryptic exhortation was apparently He directed at Nixon's doctor J as he prepared an anti-venom shot, alert ing him to the fact that two doses would now be needed.
· .. EGGS... II I must confess, \I said Boris, 11 bafflement at this ~ one-word statement. Was it a breakfast conference in the Oval Office? sonorant Or was this an oblique reference to the anti-venom serum being ad ministered to the President? Our virologists tell us that many vac cine s are grown in unfe rtilized chicken eggs ... II t · ., WHY1S HE The tape ended abruptly at this point, in the mid dle of a sentence. Still, Ivan was able to reconstruct the situation: ~ 11 His secretary, attracted by the commotion, entered the Oval Office. Seeing Nixon on the floor with a doctor bent over him, she cried in a obstruent startled voice 1 Why's he lying there?l but we heard only the first half,11
It So, TI mused Boris, 11 the reason for suppressing the tape is clear. t The men around Nixon couldn't let the country know that the President had been crippled by a bee sting and was temporarily unable to gove rn, so they attempted, as part of the cover-up, to erase the relevant part
of the tape. Remember I Ivan, that the American people have been un usually skittish about presidential health ever since Woodrow Wilson (the sme lay paralyzed for many months after World War 1. Secrecy must be spirant maintained for the good of the country - - a principle which we Russians have honed to perfection, but which the Americans are still learning to appl y. ,.