Conversions to Christianity and Meaning of Suffering – the Cases Of

CEU eTD Collection Second reader: Professor Gyorgy Szony Supervisor: Professor Matthias Riedl Conversions to Christianity and meaning of suffering –the casesof In partial fulfillment of the requirement for the degree of degree forthe requirement of the fulfillment In partial Simone Weil and Nicolae Steinhardt Nicolae and Weil Simone Submitted to Central European University European toCentral Submitted Budapest ,Hungary History Department Master of Arts Master Darie Dragoi 2010 By CEU eTD Collection with them, theway they envisage theproblemof suffering asChristians. focus ontwocomparative aspects: theprocessesoftheirconversions andinrelation Christianity, andfatherconfessor. laterorthodoxhermit Thecontentofthethesiswill also Jewish, bythecommunist regime, andconverted imprisoned inprison to writer, The secondwasaRomanian original wayofthinkingtheologyandphilosophy. Christianity, convertedofan by was Frenchto author origin, Jewish a philosopher, first Weil andNicolaeSteinhardt.The centuryhistory Simone Europe, oftwentieth in Abstract This thesis reconstructs the intellectual biographies of twokey figures inthe 2 CEU eTD Collection ilorpy...... 77 Bibliography ...... 72 Conclusion 4. Two converts facing the new Christian existential converts4. Two facing new the condition existential – acomparative Christian approach 3. Communist ...26 prison for Nicolae Steinhardt: Academia andspiritual metamorphosis 2. Simone Weil and the unusual need for ...... 12 suffering 1. Introduction...... 4 contents of Table ...... 43 history...... 65 4.1 4.3 4.2 3.2. Suffering reflected in European culture...... 35 3.1 From agnosticism to “happiness ...... 26 diary” 2.2. Suffering and affliction...... 20 2.1. Testimony of a spiritual ...... 12 evolution The place of Simone Weil and Nicolae Steinhardt in 20 the The placeWeil Steinhardt of Simone Nicolae and Two ways of suffering in Christ...... 59 Two religious attitudes. Refusal and acceptance of the Church as institution...... 43 th century century intellectual 3 CEU eTD Collection vast and complex. and vast concepts the form, in written thought human of treated separately in this thesis. In the field of intellectual history, that is to say the history will be that an aspect on culture, new vision with a interferes experience mystic the Steinhardt and Weil of cases in the Nevertheless, language. elementary and simple very beappears to centered on experiencing Christ, union with this in factbeingexposed a mysticism of Christian accounts European majority of large The intellectualized one. their stories andconversions of theirspecial andmysticism, particular amuch- them, the way they envisage the problem of suffering as Christians. inwith relation and conversions oftheir theprocesses comparative aspects: focus ontwo will thesis the of content The confessor. father and hermit orthodox later Christianity, to in prison converted and regime, communist the by imprisoned Jewish, also original way of thinkingand philosophy. theology The second wasaRomanian writer, was a French philosopher, Jewish by origin, converted to Christianity, author of an Thefirst Simonehistory in Steinhardt. WeilandNicolae century Europe, of twentieth 1. Introduction The necessity of this inquiry becomes visible when it is taken intois it consideration taken visible becomes when inquiry The necessity of this This thesis intellectual the reconstructs biographies of keyfigurestwo inthe conversion and suffering areindeed quite 4 CEU eTD Collection 5 4 1994) 3 France,1840-1970 2 1 suffering, monographic work on culture of focusedsuffering, female mostly on of mysticism is to say France and Romania. history Inof similar autobiographical on theme.this accounts the French case,Christianity, personal conversion,considerations about which can beinscribed in the Richard BurtonGod. In plus, both of themwrote wrote, mostly after thea eventscomplete of autobiographicala cultural on of discourses personal conversion quest sign under the that caused their conversion to writers, whichplacedtheir of two the background intellectual the to mainly ones due cases indeed will and on be two hereare the subject, that special literature this analyzed “pursuitof refersgoodness”. to conceptthat metaphorical of Ioan Ianolide Ioan of works the only named be can Here endured. privations and tortures the way realist very whothose have beenimprisoned during All the communist period. of them describe ina Miklos Veto. researcher philosophical representative work andcomplete on her is thought themonograph of Hungarianthe philosophy, heroriginal theorization of suffering. Among them,maybe themost whichbooks investigate Weil’s emphasizes this work her componentof unique Christian Dumitru Bordeianu, Dumitru Ioan Ioanolide, Ioan Miklos Veto, Miklos Richard D. E. Burton, Karl Morrison, First, the history of religious conversions can be considered as a history of a be as ahistory of considered can conversions history First, the religious of Secondly, the theme of suffering had a long cultural history in both countries, that In the Romanian case, there exists a large amount of journals and testimonies of 2 in which Simone Weil occupied a special place. However, the big majority of majority big the However, place. special a occupied Weil Simone which in The Religious Metaphysics of Simone Weil ReturntoChrist Understanding conversion (London: Cornell University Press, 2004 ) 4 , of Dumitru Bordeianu Testimonies from the swamp ofdespair Holy Tears ,Holy Blood -Women, Catholicism, and the Culture of suffering in (Bucharest: Christiana, 2006) (London: University Press of 1992),Virginia, 3 3 5 or of Dumitru Bacu (Abany: State University of New York Press, (Bucharest: Scara 2005) 1 There is a huge amount of 6 . The autobiographical . The 5 CEU eTD Collection 9 8 7 essay suffering, the coherent about and systematical very a “every time when I see the cross of our Lord, I commit the sin of envy “. religious affirmed, she example, rooted For deeply very a component. to conversion, the after her mostly However, led preference unusual had suffering for avoided of anytype always earthly pleasure. poverty. Her entire lifeshe she hadregretted imposed that that food-privations becauseof the is heroccurred even It death likely of that her death. she was onnot bornherself into a poor familyout ofand shesolidarity with the people struck by famine and 6 “. suffering value redemptive of concept of thoughtthe of Weil andSteinhardt. will part focus In asabasic onsuffering thesis,separate the works. a autobiographical in their andtheorized been exposed have experiences life. These intellectual incentrality prison onchangeshis the communist sufferingendured ulterior the of of case Weilof in suffering needfor Simone and a pronounced casethe of Steinhardt the in will thesis. bedeveloped the an that aspect in how problem shouldthe of aChristian respond totheproblem totalitarian of tyranny, a solution onsuffering of also theoretical the approach Steinhardt provides Nevertheless, facts. exposure interferedof historical the exact the with suffering, on centered journal of Nicolae Steinhardt cultural the of offersanoverview paradigmsEuropean Idem, “Love of God and affliction”, in Weil, Simone Weil, Gray, Plessis du Francine Dumitru Bacu, In Weil’s case, her notable and specific feature was “her growing interest inthe was“hergrowingher interest feature In Weil’s and specific notable case, Analyzing biographies the exceptional it twowriters, the of can benoticed in the Waiting for God Pitesti experiment Simone Weil (New York: Harper Collins Books, 2001),7. (Bucharest :Christiana 2000) 7 This one has manifested increasingly until moment increasingly the until This hasmanifested one (New York: Viking Penguin Books ,2001) , 23. Waiting for God for Waiting , 70. 9 in which she identified the identified which she in 8 She wrote also 6 CEU eTD Collection the company of workers andWeil is a in caseunique sense.this She totally affirmingdenied herfemininity, always preferring Simone her conversion. the after and repulsionbefore sex, opposite the with relation any of rejection to the idea of being an “objectassumed of it inChristianity finally importantly,and, yet with both confronted a lifeof suffering and a specific gifted with an unusual way. of culture,assimilationpower both were both of converted to One special aspect Weil. of their personality as thesuffering regarding sameconclusions the to arrived he essentially etc, science was art, fromliterature, lot of quoting a works a religiousnot theorist, he fact was the that also their art,andmusic.Despite literature, majorparadigms, cultural specific way approaching of him conclusionsinon andtobroader prison involving edgeof the despair arrived a thatplacedfacts aboutcertain in Hewrote prison. thatheendured the with privations real interconnection in aconstant suffering hedescribed happiness “The diary”, major work year his first hisexistential seclusion radicallyhisthoughtand changed of In orientation. inof yearsfour which hespent (1960-1964) Christian and baptismprison, the during Nicolae is,Steinhardt at first glance, a very different historical case. The period experienced by whole the humanity the twoworldduring wars. conversion mannerinand she what gave her sense individual to and universal suffering - show in is thesis changedintellectual to background the direction after her its way what the aim of Weil’s one to case, respect In suffering. her of own acceptance andthe others contemplation of the beauty of this world with the compassion for the suffering of the However, the two writers had a lot in common: both were Jewish, intellectuals inwere Jewish, hadalot writers both the two common: However, 7 CEU eTD Collection 14 University Press, 1996), 11 13 experiences“ ofWeilwillexperiences“ be emphasisand Steinhardtthe accomplished aswell, though momentwhere the word approaches us, the word of the I”. 12 University Press, 1996), 256 ultimate reality”. ultimate of experience the“direct as experience mystical considered Carmody John Denise and rapture”. of of ecstasy, a state “inner experience, about Weil, spoke to contemporary This term in itself has received many nuances in Georgeliterature. Bataille, mysticism. Christian contemporary of point in cases important are conversions distinct somewhat Their ideology. Christian century mystic.is notonly This language,a question of buttouches nuances of also the 20 as a than rather herhersaw asaphilosopher personality dedicated to works monographic of majority the hence, – philosophical very and impersonal, monotonous is even andlanguagein is case the heterogeneous the very personal, of Weil‘s Steinhardt ardent, In on. so and formation intellectual their culture, envisaged they way the writing, of style chastity. way in vote of the say,legitimate soto a assuming, period prison the monk after became a ashe issimpler case Steinhardt’s pleasure. earthly the entirely rejecting but monastery, the in life the embracing without chastity 10 desire”. 11 Martin Buber, Denise LardnerCarmody and John Tully Carmody, George Bataille, George Simone Weil, Jo Ann Kay Mc Namarra, The exposure and development of the main characteristics of the “mystical The phenomenon of conversion is generally considered as a mystical experience. mystical asa considered is generally conversion of The phenomenon their aspects: many by differ writers two the time same the at Nevertheless, 10 She is part of Shecategory “virile ispartof women” that of Waiting for God Ecstatic confessions Inner experience 13 Alternatively, Martin Buber considered the “ecstatic confession as the confession “ecstatic the considered Buber Martin Alternatively, Sisters in Arms–Catholic Nuns through two millennia (New York: Harper Collins Books, 2001),15 (New York: State University of New York Press, 1988) , 3 (San Francisco: Harper &Row Publishers, 1985), 45 Mysticism –Holiness East and West 14 11 who assumed the vote of (Cambridge: Harvard (Oxford: Oxford (Oxford: 12 th 8 CEU eTD Collection 19 (New York:… 2005), 34 18 17 Hippo in – absent completely is component erotic the that mysticism is Weil’s of difference 16 me knee …Christ hasspiritual marriage are very in present Frenchthe case: “something stronger methan fallen made in my heart and took my soul “ given However, the of considerations William James, 15 12 from mysticism, female the of characteristic main is the love of mysticism The in Steinhardt. than in Weil evident and pronounced more was love of mysticism the that significance without manners in Weilwhich and Steinhardtperceived their spiritual Itistransformation. not be here. accomplished cannot which caused their conversion, facts, bymemory. beimperfectly iswhy reproduced of andprecise This an exact exposure only can and time in limited are experiences mystical transient: as known phenomenon of category that of part are Steinhardt Weil and of experiences mysticalspiritual Rambo historicalmany Thereare Romania. in Franceand specifically and in general mystical experiences studies and conversions of history in the contextualized be will on processes both conversion, the process onJudaism,discourse Christianity and historical suffering. Referring alsototheir of conversion, of other’s each andthe assessment biographies of comparison history, intellectual of as forin cases of terms their relevance historical the and information will lay contextual the on example the works of Lewis Simone Weil, A.D.Nock, Lewis Rambo, Cf Cf. . Matthias Riedl, Matthias . William James, (London: Oxford University Press,1972) 15 The comparative approach used in this thesis focuses also on different focusesthe alsoon thesis inthis used approach The comparative orA. D. Nock Conversion- TheOld and theNew in Religion from Alexander the Great to Augustine of Waiting for God Understanding religious conversion Christian Mysticism The varieties of religious experience th century today century until 16 . (New York: Harper Collins Books, 2001),46 in Marianne Horowith, 18 . Contemplation and union with Christ as a (London, Yale University Press, 1993) (New York: Touchstone books, 2004), 55 New Dictionary of the history of ideas 19 17 . Nevertheless, the main the Nevertheless, . it can be said that the 9 CEU eTD Collection 1992), 56 dulceata .In gura, in vine, in muschi” in Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae in in muschi” vine, in gura, .In dulceata 20 my mouth in mymind, inmy body , inmy “.muscles in asweetness me …and me embrace …silence , surrenders me,defeats happiness that characterized “Happiness“ isonly of conversion the concept after by the soul “ this : of state the life. the In predominant , the ledshe acelibate Steinhardt case of addition, intellectuals? In what way their conversions and the manner that they assumed the new the assumed they that manner the and conversions their way what In intellectuals? writings? their have assumed gave solution the problem to of suffering justify did andhow they itin also of a cultural metamorphosis in the two cases? In what way the Christianity that they approaching theirnew Christian existential condition? Can we talk only mysticismof or are they How experience? mystical of type this of history general inthe them situates conversion on account autobiographical their way what In differed? they do in which and suffering sensesimilarsome questions:considerations about key weretheir Inwhich historical willbepersonalities several of contextualization twobroader the works used. the proper a for addition, In friends. his by written Steinhardt on testimonies and Weil biographies Simone of the numerous comprise others among sources The secondary WeilandSteinhardt. of andworks political accounts autobiographical theology. Christian active nevertheless and acontextualized of light the in conversion the to subsequent reformulation conceptual their analyze to interesting is it time, their of figures intellectual important “Alminteri fericirea aceasta care ma impresoara , ma cuprinde ma imbraca , ma invinge…liniste…si o ma invinge…liniste…si , imbraca ma cuprinde ,ma ma impresoara care aceasta fericirea “Alminteri Regarding the problem of suffering, may one ask: why speaking about by be established will therefore sources the body of to approach The theoretical arethe primary sources The sources. variety textual of on a This draws thesis Jurnalul fericirii Jurnalul 20 Considering the fact that both are (Cluj Napoca: Editura Dacia, 10 CEU eTD Collection in the 20 in the aspects of the themes enounced above together with a contextualization of the two figures contain a comparison will chapter Simone third Weil.The about his considerations of alsosome being added attempt and will expose pattern, structural willmainly thesame Steinhardt, follow to dedicated The second part, and emphasize the suffering. of theme theory on the specific the for and suffering) need similaralmost pathological and different subchapters herbiographical component and conversion the her emphasis on (with an manifestations. religious of history asthe well as history intellectual the of perspective manifestations and morphologies. Therefore, a comparison may prove religious of relevant view of from point the the from communalities share trajectories their differences, all of spite In lived. they in which contexts political and cultural distinct utterly the until at this moment of history. cultural tobuild in paradigms order acultural view of very suffering original singular and big meltEuropean the they and way of the assimilation are the make special What them Christianity. common the of that to similar although unique, totally attitude theoretical Christianit. solution Nevertheless,to language theirand their philosophy a provide is the gave of view cultural from point problem similarthe the sense suffering to with of they way the that is response suitable most The special? them make condition Christian The first part of the thesis will be committed to Simone Weil, having as having Simone Weil, to becommitted will thesis of the part The first far-fetched given mayseem personalities two of juxtaposition the the However, th century intellectual history. 11 CEU eTD Collection 22 philosophy. After beginning to teach philosophy , mathematics and Greek languagemathematics and andGreek philosophy teach , beginningAfter to philosophy. her she received In1931, of herENS. by teachers of one "Red virgin" -shewascalled the radical her muchopinions with attention Weil attracted years these During finished second. her classmate, Beauvoir, de Simone Supérieure; Normale École 21 students tothink critically by assigning them Alain her. name Augustetaught Chartier By his his (1868-1951), trained Emile real (1924-25), Alain Frenchphilosopher and noted at where the Lycée(1925-28), IV Henri andher Duruy,science during attheLycée Lycée studies Victor Fénelon (1920-24) Paris accused her of being a Communist, she answered: "Not at all; I am a Bolshevik." a classmate Russian Revolution the When after andteacher. mathematician prestigious later a herbrother, André, in Greek with communicate Sheusedto ancientlanguages. in war. soldiers the food. At the age of six she refusedmotivating that she dislikedluxury. to eat sugar, becausesolidarity,for example refusing when she was yearsthree old aring given by a relative, it was not rationed to family. of Jewish gestures her agnostic French precocious manifested Since Simone childhood, 2. Simone Weil and theunusual need forsuffering Francine du Plessix Gray, Plessix du Francine Simone Petrement, In 1928, Weil succeeded with the highest mark at the entrance examination formark the examination In 1928,Weil highestthe with atthe entrance succeeded She assimilated as her everyday mental fare the highest products of and of art products highest fare the mental her everyday as She assimilated modern mastered Greekand several Weilhadalready In her early teens, Simone evolution ofaspiritual Testimony 2 .1. Weil was born on February 3, 1909 in Paris. She was raised in an SimoneWeil- a life Simone Weil (New York: State University of New York Press, 2000), 14 ( New York: Penguin Books, 2001), 24 21 She also displayed the same behavior regarding behavior same the displayed also She topoi , take-home essay examinations. agrégation 22 in 12 CEU eTD Collection 25 24 Autobiography .” Nevertheless, she refused baptism into Catholicthe Church. “. being her into entering of “theChrist Passion services the feltduring she recalled, she later There, France. partof Eastern in the monastery aBenedictine Solesmes, mother aweekat herwith spent 23 kneel. chapel of SaintFrancisc and she confessed that something stronger than she made her to in a entered She life. her in time first the for pray to her led which Assissi in experience Republicans in SpanishCivilWar.the In springthe of mystical had1937 she afirst had abnormally small, feeble hands - as she confessed in her diary. Carnaud. nearly Thishardperiod crushed heron her emotional and physical level - she 1934-1935 she inept" wasa"hopelessly Between school. high from Le Puy-en-Velay forcedmarch, to resign shewas protest in a After participating unemployed. the sharedbyherwith salary was in Her cafés. preferred the company workersof to the one her teachersof colleagues and sat with them Quentin.her Dueto solidarity andwith workers the social the poor Frenchmilieus, she sheatvarious1938, taughtin andSaint- schools Auxerre,Le Puy,Bourges, Roanne, in tounderstandfields, real the order Between yearsneeds of workers. the the 1931and it Euclidiangeometry. was Homeric or models, poetry whether ancient great the to herself relating , always culture her broaden to shecontinued , literature Weil, Weil, Petrement, 24 Waiting for God, In spite of her pacifist beliefs, she briefly served in 1936 as a volunteer for the She stints alternated of teaching philosophy manual with labor in factories and Waiting for God, This event was in fact the first step of her conversion to Christianity. Christianity. she Later, to conversion of herstep first the in fact was This event Simone Weil – a life 28 47 25 Weil related her mystical experiences in the text “A spiritual text in the experiences mystical her related Weil , 78 23 factory worker for Renault, Alsthom, and 13 CEU eTD Collection evening a religious procession in a little village on the shore of the sea. She described this mentioned moments three she of “spiritual autobiography”, her conversion. centered also on the be will that point a for suffering, been byastrange preference hadChristianity preceded divine suffering , moremystical precisely on theexperiences Passion of Christ . In (asherAugust 24,1943. did Pascalgetting in France. She died at the forage of 34 of tuberculosis and self-neglectin Ashford on example).were themselves French the rations meager the than more eat not would she finally, But in her of life; the efforts she hadbeen makinghelp otherpeople to aggravatedher only illness; case the conversion way –ascetic byher for undermined quasi health, her already disastrous conditions, was to in under wartime winter, tripthe dead of the backFrance But byanymeans. go into sailed for England where she entered the Gaullist organization –with the determination to soon She in part struggle. backthe go again take and to shewasdetermined However, by imposed Germans,the sheaccompaniedfamilyher in Unitedthe to States 1942. faith. Catholic into the her his tobaptize refused offer she end in the but discussions, long had she whom with Perrin, Joseph-Marie Father met she In Marseilles editor. posthumous herfirst Thibon, wouldbecome who papers to andnotebooks other her she leaving France, gave Before d'Ardéche. in Saint-Marcel writeVichy, at andGustave continuedworked Marseilles.She and Thibon's to vineyards During the first years of World War II, Simone lived with her parents in Paris, The firstone refers to hertrip Portugal to and ithappened while watching at had who few the philosophers she one of is was Weil that Simone about Specific After she was dismissed from the university post because of the racist laws 14 CEU eTD Collection 30 29 first occasion when he took possession of me.” person, but his presence is infinitely more real,moremoving, and clearer than on that in me with present is Christ moments, other at or recitation this during also, Sometimes, sound. the of that than positive more sensation, positive a of object the is which but point of view. Then, there is asilence, but a silence which is not the absence of the sound nor perspective is neither space wherethere a placein it outside to transport body and my from my asthoughts autobiography tear the first words very the follows: “Attimes prayer learn by heartthe herboth they she that to proposed her students, of Greekone when shewasteaching 28 presence“. Christ‘s into whose poem , entitled Herbert, century, George seventeenth of metaphysical the a poet belonged to literature Englishman who will introduce her to some literature that would transfigure her life. That being once her intoChrist of entered passion “the that felt she regularly, attended she that services and forduring when, the of Solesmes, abbey at the shespent that during period the religious all “. 27 slaves”. of religion “the preeminently 26 “, God as of a “slave herstate of as therevelation Weil, Weil, Weil, Weil, Weil, Waiting for God Waiting for God, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, During the recitation of the prayer, she described the effects she experienced in sheexperienced effects the she described prayer, the of recitation the During After few recitations, she basically felt, as she later claimed, that “she is that claimed, brought felt, asshelater she basically fewAfter recitations, , 69 68 67 46 46 Love , 29 Our Father, The third and the last moment of her conversion happened conversion her of moment last the and third The 28 would influence her in a decisive way. In this period, she made acquaintance with a young a with acquaintance made she period, this In in the original text from the Gospel. 27 The second moment, the decisive one, happened one, decisive the moment, second The 30 26 realizing that Christianity is Christianity that realizing 15 CEU eTD Collection Hippo 31 doctrine catholic official the from “deviations” her Although one. acommon from piety indifference. of pattern turningusual faith from because away of skepticism or a well-established can be stated that she belongs to a special groupelementary care for food and sleep, including sexual contact.of converts. Theyshe would noticing concludeafter of herrejection immediate pleasurelife,all even of generally follow a voyage to England and would life until herthe her will stay with all mother especially her care.Her all to accord their witness to all her eccentricities: the however, wouldfriends, who despite receiving only herparents when of affliction “She‘s unmarriageable“,addition, she will leton, until end the of herlife, wouldsleepin she bed not anymore buton floor.the In the window now From unemployed. local the openwith said, she solidarity, of evenout life, ascetic incredibly in the depths of winter, heating her room example, the political essay, with be auraasfor thisimpregnated a religious would after strongly would period write she what plus, In etc. of Dead Book Tibetan Gita, Bhagavad the Gospels, the attentively read She dimension. political any of devoid totally was that studies of a pattern following began She religion. comparative to also orientated being on now from changed, studies her of main direction the time, first the for however, Solesmes, After personality. A.D.Nock, (London: Oxford University Press, 1972), 230 The effects of her conversion could be analyzed on different levels of her of levels different on be analyzed could conversion her of effects The When trying to place Weil’sin Christianity,When it trying place theof conversions history caseto to Second, her way of living would be transformed. She would proceed to an to proceed Shewould betransformed. would living of herway Second, Conversion-The Old and the New in Religion from Alexander the Great to Augustine of 31 Their type opposite is of whothose are turning an to unfamiliar form of The needforroots . 16 CEU eTD Collection 35 34 33 the on sheinsisted beas possible, asimpersonal to she tries always fact that the despite letters, after. In majority is her the of hasbeenaccentuated before but theconversion, also of unity”. peace the yearn after the by accompanied sin, of imperfection, moral of unwholeness, of “feeling the also is “ is right new the and wrong was old “the that conscience the posses which conversion of processes many of characteristic another One evolution. intellectual person’s a of 32 another“, to piety, of form an earlier from or indifference from individual an of soul the of turning such an did attitude not depend upon solutionthe of problemthe of God.” adoptbusiness best wastothe with attitude regard totheproblems of world,this that and beingthat, inmefor our solve this world, Ithought problem, seemed this uselessto to leavepossible evil, to it was alone. Therefore, Ineither denied affirmed nor anything. It me beingreach whichnotway solution, seemedto a wrong thegreatest sure to of problem be dataof the notwhich obtainedcould herebelow, only andthe Idecidedthat sought I life forin my moment any at never that say may “I way: following God. inthe attitude this As soon as ideas likerejected prayingany God, Sheexplained or knowing spiritual preoccupation. I reached adolescence,Christianity. I saw the problem of Catholic the general the truths accepted nevertheless she various, are quite of God as a William James, William Nock, Nock, Weil, Conversion, Waiting for God, Conversion, If it the general definition of conversion were to be accepted as “the deliberate she adolescence her since that writings autobiographical her in claimed She 33 then Weil be seems the conversion marksone casein to which aturning point The varieties of religious experiences 25 24 23 35 In the case of Weil, this feeling has also been present been has also feeling this Weil, of case Inthe (New York: Touchstone books, 2004),150 32 17 34 CEU eTD Collection 37 Hippo , 36 from been“ “deliverance and stupid what had unworthy a was Christianity For second, the thought. Pythagorean or for Platonic,Stoic, preference one came to Christianity while following thecases at of Justin Martyr,the Arnobius, and Augustine.Saint Thefirst the end of a disappointed intellectual search of afterOur Father in language. Greek an initial recitation the with to she content was subject, this on hertestimonies only consideration into if we take one,a very strange might be considered herprayer of ritual own shethat hadbegan prayed before. never participate She in to services butof Church, the claimed life, asshe in herindeed first the form piety, anew of with herself acquainted Christian Baptism.“symptoms” shethat Concerning felt the the conversion,she after the receive to enough good not was she that fact the on and sinfulness, her of idea with Christ as experiences of erotic union this have experienced love,Lisieux, of Martin Therese Avila, or of example Therese even for the former as sexual impulsesmystics, asfor in her Other was presentwith Christperson. of Our Father, recitation for the and her account of mindthe madehim and baptized. Like Augustine,Weil had the revelation of Christ, aboutillumination an him to brought read he that text first The Testament. New the from her read vision is hearing –the of avoice whichadvisedhim to began asupernatural event conversion with very audacious, as she anddiscoveringmeant rejection of good the of evil. claimed that during the Nock, Nock, A. D. , Oxford University Press,London, 1972,p. 233 Conversion, Simone Weil can alsobe associated to a typology established by A D Nock In the case of Saint Augustine, and here Simone Weil can be also integrated, the integrated, Weil canbealso here Simone and Augustine, caseof SaintIn the Conversion-The Old and the New in Religion from Alexander the Great to Augustine of 245 37 , that is to say his conversion 18 36 CEU eTD Collection 39 38 exposed. Sacrament Solesmes, in all acts of her life she tried to follow the impulsionsin itself?”. everything of absolutely contain the not did ifit soulEurope of nations that would value…hownotbut quite without could flesh Christianity circulate the through of all degraded often from too Renaissance, resulting things All instance.forthose Albigenses Manicheans and of heretical, those bannedas traditions the all countries, of these life races; inhabited bycolored in in all whitesecular peoples’ the history the countries; All thecountries last them. among twenty,the are except centuries, of past stretches things thatmany things are outside it, somany thingsGod that I love and do not want to give up, so many So fact. by not loves, right by catholic is Christianity eyes my “In them: by attached very was otherwisenon indeed, butSimone –Christian adhesion manyreligious were paradigms. These to they would not be baptism. inChristian existence. receiveher the to Father urged Perrin, which to letters in way, afew sophisticate All the problem baptism,of Weil hermotivated be refuse to baptized in immensea very complex and way baptism,of but only by an existential a indeed and cultural turning. Concerning the say, theadhesion principalisinstitution, to that common Christian by Church, the the immediate by followed the not was Christianity to Weil of conversion caused the elliptic story which only retains objective facts refusing be to affectively init.engaged Weil, Simone, Weil, Andrei Kuraev, Andrei In addition, a highly interesting aspect is the fact that after the revelation from revelation after the that is fact the aspect interesting highly a In addition, Shebaptism claimed mean would receivingthat for abandon herthe cultural of which revelation the is Augustine,that of case from the differs what In addition, Waiting forGod The provocations of ecumenism 38 ButSimonea very reducesher experiences to ambiguous and :28 (Bucharest: Sofia,2001, 67 39 19 CEU eTD Collection University of New York Press, 2003), 56 41 40 affliction and 2.2. Suffering for suffering. This aspect will be developed in followingthe subchapter. for self-annihilation- vocation “her of component a wasinreality attitude However, this available. only the butoption wisest the complexity of her psychological needs, virtual membershipChurch seemed for her not think about God. It is for God to think about me “. is business myself. think ithaveshould anxiety? mybusiness not My to about any It I to will come toand endbefore Ihavefeeling ever impulsethe be to baptized… Butwhy my life that also be may It uncertainty. of feeling the had once even never have I Church. in the be to me wants God that feeling the moment, a for even had, once never have “I Sheaffirmed: willof accomplishment of God. the the about innerhergive certitude Katherine T Brueck, Weil, Waiting for God, To sum up, given her acute need for intellectual freedom, not to mention sum to not freedom, her needintellectual the To acute for up, given The Redemption of Tragedy :The Literary Vision of Simone Weil 31 40 aneantissement ”, 41 of her predilection (New York: State 20 CEU eTD Collection 44 43 Press, 1994), 34 concept of suffering is the year that she spent working in the factory at Alshtom and Alshtom at factory the in working spent she that year is the suffering of concept the time of writing this essay she was only sixteen. sainthas rejected all well being that would separate him from sufferingthe of men“ purity humanity and itusefuland was not anyone else to and she conclude that“every soldiersthat had brought tohim. noticedAlexander’s that Simone actonly hisshowed full helmet the water earth the of on out Alexanderhad poured adesert, while crossing thirst, their sharing by men his with solidarity share to order In Great. the Alexander in However, relevant biographical moments chapter. others this canbe sense added. in thebiography Weil sinceof her asit childhood, inthe wasemphasized previous unseeing“(Hebrews 11,1).Theprimary is herpredilection forproof sufferingmanifested made impossible the vision of the real beauty, the spiritual one, that is to say, “seeing that selfish theannihilation ego the Thisof presupposed thecreated. of that suppressing the consciousness of its existence comes only after “breaking of the individual”. world. the beauty of real the to the and beauty, an inner fact in is beauty This approachesfact him condition, that his fragile a his vulnerability, hisfallrealizes butalso through suffering, the human beinglives from his separation harmony, supernatural the 42 condition”, Petrement, Veto, Miklos, Veto, Miklos, for understandingmoment biography herAnother relevant the of and significant During the classes of Alain, she wrote an essay about an episode of the life of was rolethis process of constructive in terms,the In anycase, philosophical the Suffering is, in the view of Weil, a “privileged moment of the human the of moment a “privileged Weil, of view in the is, Suffering The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil 42 Simone Weil, 68 revealing its truth and, at the same time, some kind of its beauty. In and The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil , 25 (New York: State University of New York 43 44 - at 21 CEU eTD Collection 51 50 49 48 47 psychological pain; the best translation of the latter concept will be “affliction“ . conceptwillbe“affliction“ latter of the besttranslation the pain; psychological corporal and suffering, corporal 46 made between Weil adifference experiences, joyful for idea hertaste”. seemed was“too the It that resurrection. of concept suffices.” alone Cross to any omitted reference me.The far easier to be would that faith, resurrection Christ‘s of crucifixion.” thinks she when passion. She once told to fathermanifestwould relationship for herpreference always suffering instrong with Christ’s Perrin that she committed the sin of envy “everyin all happy …a painful mymorning; legs hurtme so; I ‘m fed up“. time A joyousact of inall but day; for will “fell asleep eachstep…a distinct metro. tired the moments of profound moral joy alternated perpetually with of those physical despair: the social state of workersexperiencesin her“journal of factory”,the one ofthemost compelling documents about of her time. In it, it was “a joy“. blend moral of physical curious pain and profound of shown how, during that period, the 45 spiritual growth.” as the only to valueroad suffering, of “theredemptive whereshediscovered Renault, Gray, Weil, Weil, Weil, Gray, Weil, Simone Weil, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, Waiting for God, Waiting forGod, Simone Weil, Simone Weil, But suffering canbe physical and spiritual.At time the of hermystical first Church“, the of outside “Christian be a to herself Considering , Journal d’ousine 99 45 157 She later stated that the factory experience had brought her brought had experience factory the that stated later She 54 58 45 78 50 le malheur, This was only the mentioned when time she inher writings the (Paris: Gallimard, 1983) in Gray, 49 Also, she claimed that “If The Gospel totally would a term which refers to the inner pain, better said the la douleur la Simone Weil , that issay , that to physical pain, 46 47 , 98 She recorded these Sherecorded 48 Simone Weil 51 22 CEU eTD Collection 56 55 54 with that necessity which constitutes uscontact gives alone us since“suffering to accessible become can beauty world‘s the the order of the world“. Here is one of the very few points where Weil proves beto anti - ascetic. She accuses the necessity, which alsowhich involves noobjective, goodness. apure Onlyby beauty, world’s brute the the involves at the desireour for goodness.” end the suffering,considered as a sacramental quality worldthe of which “like sendsa mirror, usback to can become an object of love. divine “ technique be by owned mereobjects, deprived of others, any rights. to are considered they As such, dignity. human of a state of degradation to arrive victims inwhich state a slavery, involves it expression, ultimate its in or, degradation, social 53 souls”. our on and bodies our on marks permanent leaves marks. Affliction, on the other be supported should leave transient any handnot itselfin does it and untilit disappears, “is a profound distress of both body and spirit that 52 topurenon – being”.to-be inconditionvitiated harmony “tohis self reduce the from order of that-which-ought-not- body. The asceticism proposedgood and the necessity, by which is toSimone say between the corporal Weilneeds and the desiresis of thea solution for reestablishing the lost Weil, Weil, Weil, Gray, Veto, Waiting for God Waiting for God Waiting for God The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil, Simone Weil, In the essay “The love of God and affliction“, this latter is called a “marvel of In the first case, Weil sees the suffering in breaking the harmony between the between harmony the breaking in suffering the sees Weil case, first the In 124 54 that plays an important role in our illumination. Through suffering Through illumination. in our role important an plays that , 48 , 49 , 49 56 Initself, beauty is considered byWeil as goodness, afinality 52 Physical suffering is after all an intermediary state, which state, intermediary an all after is suffering Physical 156 53 It involves humiliation and humiliation involves It 55 The concept of is of beauty Theconcept 23 CEU eTD Collection necessary to know that love is a direction and nota state of the soul”. is …asitit asa “distance can but considered from isbe also God, a affliction gift 59 reveal the beauty of the world to it, as ininfinitesimal the part of caseitself. Then, oneof day GodJob.“ will come to show himself to this soul and emptiness, or at least“thereis nothing be to loved”. to go by suffering,on wantingbybut experiencingbe accomplished cannot soul the of state of kind this to thearrival The absenceexample. divine of God, thatto is to saylove, a state of the soulenvisages adetachment of thingsthe of and world followingthis of ego, selfish the the when though being who by bea human attended to state is a de- creation The realities. for other it may only tomakebe inorder everything made space Heceasedto by God. implied arenunciation be with an 58 57 is of depersonalization annihilation, the absence ofitmeans wanting only changeto oneself, life. one’s own includes This depersonalization a goalthings to addicted being in not them; change to he wants this things, to is addicted being human life. The name the every when time that states Weil other words, In depersonalization. and freedom that Weil gives to this longingprocess of the human being for natural beauty as an inspiration of God. of self-Christian for not beingreligion by preoccupied and beauty the of nature, identified the Weil, Weil, Weil, Waiting for God Waiting for God Waiting for God In itself, de - creation is a divine act. That is to say, the creation of this world The solution inwould be, her vision, “the that soul has go to onlovingin the The condition for making contact with the beauty is contemplating it in a state in it withof a state is beauty makingthe contact contemplating for The condition , 81 , 70 , 71 57 De -creation . 58 Therefore, Weil claims that claims Weil Therefore, 59 24 CEU eTD Collection perhaps a more realist vision about suffering: the case of suffering: caseof Steinhardt. the Nicolae vision about realist perhaps amore Russia.from Sakharov In Sophrony example for theas century, twentieth during next saints of category chapter it will attitude sufferingtowards isindeed very rare and can be found onlyin casethe of a small be exposed a more the assimilate universal sufferinghumankind of and tosharewanted integrally. it This common and at living,the or with the soldierssame who were fighting duringtime, the two world wars. She claimed to with in sufferingthe workers the of factory, whowereenduring conditions precarious of oflife. from necessities elementary privation the included also an almost pathologicalIt also mannerin hastobe that the which recognized sheitlifeapplied during her component, an instrumentused by anin to God helporder the soul detached to itself from its sinful part. unusual attraction for developed Weilsees asabasic by life suffering componentthe of a human and alsoas poverty, and “doctrine“ in it begeneral, that, essaycan the the considered above.However, named in the majority of works of Simone Weil, but the principal theoretical approach to it is in Of course, the problematic of sufferingis much more complex and presentmostly In isaddition, this by motivated existential attitude claimingher herself solidarity 25 CEU eTD Collection and volumes two on Judaism. articlesRomanian in important –such as reviews published and inEngland, Switzerland, France,lotyears, hea traveled nexttwo the school of Universitythe of andinBucharest 1936 his PhDin Constitutional Law. During degreefrom Literature Lawand the he hisBachelor In1934, received and others. some Constantin Noica AlexandruPaleologu, such as Mircea Romanian culture,the Eliade, biographical isdetail mentioned in his diary. Hewasfellow student with key figures of by where, This hisbackground,religion hewastaughtorthodox despite a priest. birth, high the Spiruschool andinat Haret acollege Bucharest-between 1919 and 1929- of place the Pantelimon, at school secondary and primary He attended mother. Romanian in cultural a Christian European references way. way he “converted” conversion will followprovided After, first. asin Weil’s case,apresentation of leaded steps the that to his and finally, a few syntheticexamples overview biography,hisof his of and work ofhis way thinking beof will a thesis, given the of part in this Therefore, inheterogeneous. so is order work his and numerous not to illustrate in what history in level, On Romania. heEuropean isnotvery since the known translations are diary” “happiness to agnosticism 3.1 From and spiritual metamorphosis 3. Communist prison for Nicolae Steinhardt: Academia Nicolae Steinhardt was bornin near Nicolaefrom Steinhardt Bucharest1912, a Jewishfatherand a intellectual a occupies special placecentury intwentieth Nicolae Steinhardt Sburatorul , a volume of literary critics, literary of volume a , 26 CEU eTD Collection 61 60 character”. “an claims, ecumenical as Steinhardt baptism, the have to given will Thisone. fact participants, two Roman Catholic priests, two Greek Catholic priests and also aProtestant alsoother were there priest, the with baptizedhim. Together father confessor, baptismMina aBasarabian onMarch 15, 1960. Dobzeu,his fellow convict, hermitand discouragement from his soul” Malmaison. Aiud, Gherla, Jilava, of jails communist the namely Romania, from remembering of sad places most of the stable; hewent over not was of seclusion The place years. years inbut condemnation thirteen ofimprisonmentonly of endwould execute the five a member of mystical of the ‘group Burningthe the a Bush’.Hereceived thinkers Communists. by the imprisonment his to led Noica- Constantin an “enemy of the people”. His refusal furnishto atestimony against another intellectual – communistinin regime Romaniaintellectual, 1948.Asanon-communist hewasseen as it instaurationyearslostthe of but hejob later, dueto Four his again regained policy by Antonescu. ethnicbythe of the cleansing Guard regimesupported Iron Ion translator. Nevertheless, the prison experience determined a new existential attitude from attitude new existential a determined experience prison Nevertheless, the translator. Diary”. Happiness “The work, major his Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae In 1939,he as worked an buteditor, lost his job due tothe implementation of As inhe wrote his Journal, “washed hiscondemnation any laziness,doubt, The main allegations were that he was ‘plotting against the social order’ and was After his release in 1964, Nicolae Steinhardt had a rich activity publisherand had activity as arich in Steinhardt his 1964,Nicolae After release 61 This biographicalthe constituted episode writing principal reason for the of The happiness Diary The danger of confessing 60 and precipitated his decision of receiving Christian the (Cluj-Napoca:Dacia, 1992), 20 (Cluj-Napoca: Dacia,1998), 31 27 CEU eTD Collection 64 63 of thatstrictly actions and thisauthoritarian type. regime punished controlled complex.the key events that led to her conversion, Steinhardt’s autobiographicalThe testimony ismore aspect that singularizes it is the fact that it was written under an Contrary to Weil’s it the conversion of the author is the center and the event that assures the unity of the text. The Happiness Diary, he died Few dayslater, there. dramatically worseneddecided togo to Bucharest toconsultand aspecialist. Onhis way to the capital city histhus health he was forced to remain in the hospital“By you will giving, gain”. of Baia Mare. grow duringcontinued his to Later, thisperiod. sermonsin were volume published the father-confessor and preacher fameasa writing. His to of his time part important an dedicating while librarian there work asa to continued life.He hismonastical started and by was accepted on later he thereasalibrarian beginningand worked abbot the the society” him for elementmonastery – ashe accept would as considered that wasstill a “dangerous by the communist existenceprofane hedecidedtobecome amonk. many After of findingtentative a regime - he arrived at the Rohia monastery. In the 62 now on in his biography. Aware, as he claimed, of the “fragility and futility” George Ardelean, George Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae Steinhardt, The reflection on the conversion of Steinhardt should consider his major work, In healthhis March deteriorate 1989, to started lungs).(he suffered from He The danger of confessing, Nicolae Steinhardtand the paradoxes of liberty By giving, you will gain Spiritual Autobiography which is, after all, the “journal of a conversion”, of all, “journal is,after the which 63 57 (Cluj-Napoca: Dacia, 1997) where she where very clearly discusses the order of (Bucharest: Humanitas, 2009), 176 64 that is to say, in 62 of the of 28 CEU eTD Collection 65 toldme.convert Icannot Christianity…toa world to obsessed by being. farwell is How is intellectual not very “I evenhostile: Steinhardt skeptic, believe do what Irishthe guy Himwouldbe callSteinhardt to amongto Christians. the The reactionyoung the of him said He and appeared to in hehim which God hadadream friendthat confesses to attend Sunday masses atthis churchin spite of their Jewish origin. to used family His father. his by leaded factory the near situated church orthodox the heduring childhood was by attracted Christianity, especiallyby sound the bellsthe of of mentioned be will they here However, order. followingin achronological not although Journal, his in them to the evolution. of the processauthentic character…” my givea realist, to testimony of conversion.solemn andIdidwantcharacter, not sound like to Ijustthat. be convincing, wantedto to First, itNevertheless,exists danger the that typethis work of becomes as hehaving an artificial, claims that instead of wayof the writing, only the thatsystematizesprocess and defines. do thatmewas impossible inner necessity. to It appearedto asan spiritual clarification need to clarify for myself the reasons for my deep religious transformation. This kind of was writing thisjournal. Hisjournal this momentrecollects asfollows: “Ifelt acute the journal was twice confiscated by the Security. Moreover, he was forced to declare why he political tolerantregime, under Steinhardt’s thus ademocratic, Green’s arewritten Ardeleanu, While other testimonies, such as Simone Weil’s, of Paul Claudel’s, of Julien of Claudel’s, Paul of Weil’s, Simone as such testimonies, other While The secondsuch indicationis in a trip1938, on to Switzerland, when an Irish Herefers steps. afew comprises conversion Weil’s Steinhardt’s case, Similar to Nicolae Steinhardt…, 177 65 29 CEU eTD Collection 69 68 67 Father, of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…I reborn by stinking water and Rapid Spirit.” mycontent my of baptizes cupshoulders,the head, on on and mein namethe the of formulas of the ritual baptismof in a rushed manner then crosses me. He then empties the orifice of the door the survey convicts Two wherewater. stinking with it fills the cell, the of cup only the guardsquickly could watch. Father Mina Father Mina takes arebusy, When Guardians is the over. “The catechization Journal: pronounces the religious prison, Steinhardtdecidedbe baptized. to is Themoment in described vividin details the by his andby hispresence about his Jewish yearsLearning of origin.sentence in thirteen disturbed being without day every praying was cell the of fellow his where Malmaison, 66 hold-up react…” relatives that continues baptism isor just asentimentalto desire, a quest for compensation,surrender anew joy in the sadness me;However, he was still andhesitant: “I am a lazy I person; amand I am afraidnot - do I really wish thesure;Christianity,reunions about andhebegan to consider the possibility baptism.of and I am ashamed: part invarious took literature, in Christian intellectuals. Hebecame interested Orthodox how will my in believe dreams?” he can how him; for mercy of feeling a me with he tells what to listened me…I by Christ Ardeleanu, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Commenting on this moment, George Ardeleanu George moment, this on Commenting The second phaseofhis placeconversion took in themonths first of his at prison, In 1954,in Bucharest, heattendingstarted of themeetings a group of Christian (literally robbery, attack of bandits) of the baptism, that is to say, rapid, Nicolae Steinhardt and the paradoxes of liberty, The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary The happiness Diary 67 66 , 72 , 82 , 333 181 69 speaks about the character of character the about speaks 30 68 CEU eTD Collection 71 70 an idea similar Hestates confessing”. dangerof of “The volume the part conversion, the thisdeveloped manner. ideaininabout a averyincomplete Steinhardt essay theoretical andin difficulttorecollect thus very by Theycanbe memory details. butreproduced only transient are conversions in general, that, stated been has it Above, such. as conversion of of such freshness and beauty?” speak about childhood…and above all, the“some kind of sweet, kindnovelty- air around, an atmosphere similar with that of the books which I am a new man- what is the source by followedbaptism and was feelings andaccompanied certitude total tolerance: of of cell. However, the existence of of tensioned the bythe rhythm assimilated being quickly baptism, Steinhardt philosophy,literature, and learningforeign languages. politics, After theology, were the speaks aboutan Academia”. also justbutan not altar, the act of creation “meant prison communist the for Steinhardt, says that Ierunca In Virgil this sense, work. to Marcel Proust,his also hiswritten notonly lifebut will of which transform happiness, source the the the conversionwill amplify and he will experiment an inner metamorphosis. The baptism will be for him thedamagedstinking gestures. the speed of the the water, instruments- cup, dimension with confronted improvised momentthe of nature of the ritual’sthe sacred the themoment: of aspects andinner exterior the bycontrasting constructed is scene the of beauty The priests. Protestants and Catholics orthodox, were participants the baptism because of this character mentions theecumenical also He forbidden action. Steinhardt, Virgil Ierunca, Virgil At this point, it is important to develop a very important point about the concept the about point important a very develop to important is it point, this At During the five years of “illumination” the of convict recentlybaptized the prison, The happiness Diary The years have passed , 181 71 ( Bucharest: ( Humanitas, 2001), 89 70 In the prison, the convicts werediscussing convicts the prison, Inthe 31 CEU eTD Collection 74 73 72 about choosing an ideology, itis not even responding to a historical journal. be conversion cannot understoodbuttoalittle The from extent a Steinhardt’s into quoted - authors Mystical Christian some by and conversion, about “. love this into me reinforcing me, love; however, somehave books been usefulinhelping me,relaxing me,enlightening by of charmedway comparing,I arrived only the selectively studying, But reflecting. rationalizing, intellectualizing, not ways; comparative archeological, exegetical, phenomenal of ties individual…Iarriveevery didChristianity not to historical,on melted the around various causes, are there any conversion of accomplishment the rational manner the process of the spiritual transformation, which led to the conversion. sufficient in a clarify to impossible an is it James: William by supported one the to sinfulness as in Weil’s case: “Even now, after the baptism, Iam dirty…the angel of Satan of conscience the mingled with was release feeling of the Nevertheless, Bucharest. from Church Orthodox an in Communion Holy the of and Unction of Sacraments in order to be resurrected, because he understood that this is the only way.” conversion means evading from the night of despair. The one who comes to Christ do this from know. and Church Indeed, not Holy the whom the Holy the Scripture does Alexandre Schmemann, Alexandre Steinhardt, James, The same idea was exposed in a theoretical way by some researchers who wrote who bysome researchers way inatheoretical exposed idea was The same is an quote necessary fragmentIt his“to important senseto in to testimony: this After his release in 1964, Steinhardt will complete his conversion hisconversion with the will complete in 1964,Steinhardt his release After Varieties… perspective: “The true conversion level atthe “The is true Itis ideas. notproduced perspective: not of The danger of confessing , 89 Of water and Spirit , 177 73 (Bucharest: Symbol,1992), 17 problem – term – term iswhich absent 74 logical - 32 72 CEU eTD Collection 76 Steinhardt concludes that, comeas theobserver outit and cannot observe from inside.here,objectively From itclosedmake insideis asystem observations impossible this absolute about to system, illustrative. are sense in this examples A few from perspective. a Christian from reinterpreted knowledge,all discussed anddomains of metamorphosis. Inhis manyspiritual Diary’, are ‘Happiness there references, cultural Christianity. the years around more of wavering than are twenty there of baptism Jilava the and Synagogue the in integrated being of fail the Between one. instantaneous an not was conversion his why explains partly This terror. political of a regime under testimony similar testimonies of type.this First, asitwas said before,wrote Steinhardthis apparently other among conversion his of story the singularized that elements of number accompanied byincertitude, byfallsby many and revivals, dilemmas. Init werea 75 in a fact verifiedinner peace, men canobtain practice. the the doadvises Moreover,teaching him of Christ that. only to by good accomplishing the duringlife, as his good the accomplishing of attitude bethatof would correct a Christian the nevertheless in of God, the existence certitude therefore Universeand the about illusion”. wasastupid that Iwillgetridtemptations myface; of meon thought beats the Cf Steinhardt, Steinhardt, The experiences of two physicians, Michelson and Morley, proved that being that proved Morley, and Michelson physicians, two of experiences The a and intellectual an for himboth meant conversion the case, in Weil’s as Second, Clear enough,Steinhardt’s spiritual metamorphosis process very of was complex, 75 The happiness Diary The Happiness Diary, 76 despite the fact that man cannothave an objective knowledge , 197 138 33 CEU eTD Collection not dare it. dare toclaim not recognize it –asin the communism everybody knows that the system is anerror, but does to isbutnobody has courage naked the emperor the inallmenseesthat clothes” which terror in a way of living. of measures temporal the by into anightmare transforming lives transforming people’s Finally, there isfate the story of of Andersenthe the for communism: stands notarrive metaphor it destination asatellite.becomes does tothe This and “The emperor’s new a regime thatsurveillance. was undera permanent aims at bringing asifit acted population wherethe in communism the hestates, terror-as, of regime the happiness men under be toother pretend to wereobliged characters in the which Wallace by Edgar but story adetective mentions also He like theSecurity. exactly ignorance- their andconceal end up with menof ignorant control extreme measurestheir protectwho applied of sluggishness to position political in the arrival the by Empire Roman the of decadence the explained that history literature, fairyand from Russianthe first a historian tale. He quotes Rostovtsev makingfourmain examples regime explainsthe from of by appeal the to characteristics messagethe exposed. in Christian completely is author the that stating key, aChristian on them he comments 77 aujourd’hui”. lele bel vivace et “Levierge, in verse the of a Christian portrait synthetic makes the conclusions that bear. the imprints of a Christian perspective. He claims that Mallarme Steinhardt, The third example is a novel of Jules Verne in which a starship sent to the moon the to sent starship a in which Verne Jules of novel a is example third The He regime. communist the about considerations some concerns example The last He quotes from a lot He quotes modern the andhe one especially French poetry, draws The happiness Diary 77 Or, mentioning some verses of the poet Jacques Prevert- atheistdeclared-Jacques Prevert- mentioning poet of verses somethe Or, , 67 34 CEU eTD Collection 79 George Ardeleanu, George 78 Weil’s, as conclusions same the at nevertheless, arrived, He manner. simple and elliptical but they included in had considerations he expressedtheminavery them, personal he Of historical philosophycourse, least, realities. not last but and literature, from Bible, suffering,basically extracted meltedabout intohisjournal of considerations a multitude culture inEuropean reflected 3.2. Suffering isinof facta Judaism racism”. and it heattributes to their complex of being chosenpeople: the lack “This of proselytism non-Judaic person-difficulty Judaism of a to conversion of difficulty the acknowledged he addition, In in Communion. bread wine and the -asthe the become sacred decent mannernecessary indeed, the wayconversionJudaic the rejectionanti-Semitism”, he doesenthusiasm as he himselfnot confesses of– rejectthe precepts of thehis first religion. However,possibilityhis after his documentedNeuman volumes two followedbig onJudaism.He also-without former he stated.belief: of hehisand period,together Christianity. withthe wrote friend Emanuel Beforethe prison material“The conversion elements -isbetween similitudethe Jewish Jewishness regarding the his converts attitude original does notto imply in a Steinhardt, Nicolae Steinhardt, Emanuel Neuman, Illusions et realites juives (Paris: Librairie Lipschutz, 1937), 55 in 55 1937), Lipschutz, Librairie (Paris: juives etrealites Illusions Neuman, Emanuel Steinhardt, Nicolae The third peculiarity of Steinhardt’s The thirdandisconversion- that peculiarity Steinhardt’s valuableonlyforof Unlike Weil, whose vision about suffering was a very sufferingvery theorized one,Weil, visionSteinhardt about Unlike wasa whose The Happiness Diary Nicolae Steinahardt and the paradoxes of liberty , 318 79 78 Nevertheless, he criticized, in a very hecriticized, Nevertheless, , 174 35 CEU eTD Collection 81 truth”. men, face became they the can and all is suffering...children Earth: injustice, pain, “thethe terribleof reality be about andmencan aware islongerinaccessible no heaven beginning whereasatthe states that, Steinhardt way. in alla terrible andtortured being sacrificed souls had martyrs the Cross, die onthe to Christ lets He manner: strange inavery acted hell,God the only destinationsexample. Nevertheless, beginning Christ with Gospel’speriod,the after descendedinto who suffered here after they have passed the “exam” of sufferingas – as Job or Abraham for hell, two different attitudes towardshuman beings: inthe Old Testament,after herewarded those Christ’s resurrection, the 80 NewTestament” the and between Old the contradiction incorporated Weil case the Steinhardtof in of this topic suffering. to face the suffering imposed by a totalitarian regime. Finally, it will be analyzed the way in by After,therewillbe someattitudesWeil’s suggested order exposed Steinhardt work. is in also aspectthat menpresent of suffering God, sufferingof between the and the difference makes the of concept also Steinhardt and tothe suffering typologies that the are interest of point A special existence. in human sense its explain to attempts his after, in this culture, and European concept evolution statementsaboutthe of of Steinhardt’s most frequent. are culture paradigms of European madewith and contextualized, parallels the better that they were difference, with the Steinhardt, Steinhardt, 81 First, regarding the sacred history, he took into consideration consideration into “strange the history, hetook regardingFirst, sacred the In the presentation that follows, the main points will be: in the introduction a few The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary , 382 , 382 80 , in provided, sensethe God that 36 CEU eTD Collection 84 83 82 having trust in duties the ofaChristian,having Writing Steinhardt also about God’s trust goodness. pray, to and situation present the humbleness, with accept, to is way only The plan. whichGod, is thehuman above understand words,men wisdom? other God’s In cannot message contained in the response given by God to Job: how can a man judge the acts of problemssuffering. is Firstexplanation of from taken precisely byessential Bible, the Steinhardt are expressed from a multitude of points of view, together with solutions to the impossible betherefore to avoided life. during this – as the Frenchsee it” to incapable writer are eyes our but always repeats which event an but fact, historical an not is Camus,crucifixion Steinhardtposition also as sustainedbe byWeil, perpetual proves to until end of the “the world:the points men. between first of and suffering God made the andthis one, of The difference that the that theand they cannot avoidit. However, howlong would that situation be? Here Steinhardt suffering live suffering to one:menarecondemned inthis of isavery suffering pessimistic world is unlimited suffering,injustice, of of absurd”. and Passion, martyrs the -andemphasizing human the intrue condition this world,“world of the events like Crucifixion, on the –focusing realistic artbecamemore religious the later on Ascension. But Sheppard,The the and Resurrection, –good optimistic subjects that during the first centuries after Christ the Christian religious art put the accent on Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Kenneth Clark, inSteinhardt, Clark, Kenneth He reinforced this idea by an madeobservation byKenneth Clark, However,be why like thingshappento the by that? responsesgiven The The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary 84 . The second one is in fact an inherent characteristic of existence of our characteristic inherent fact an is in one second . The The Happiness Diary , 379 , 291 83 Therefore, it Therefore, seems vision thatSteinhardt’s about , 256 82 who stated 37 CEU eTD Collection 85 cause the of happiness real spring the and joy”. of followed also byGod.Healso enounced the“paradoxical Christian law of itissuffering: away as suffering the assuming man helps which resurrection, in faith the mentioned condition. human in the enhanced names the first two: to be happy and at the same time to feel entirely the suffering and that is not because Christ would be cruel. He is only love and kindness. The cruelty The kindness. and love only is He cruel. be would Christ because not is that and enemy, the aim of this life is thefact arrival to suffer. to the highestin means Him love to To and God by loved be be –to that like degree Christianis something doctrine Christian of disgust means of thisto sufferlife …, in allreally loved have by suffer been God in to obliged this world. the Being reformulated, kind of ways…God is your havebeen which ”Allthose Kierkegaard: of from but a text key, under atheological worse view notbeing possible. of andan from rational the point love,explanation inner andaccomplishment, the peace, solution would be, therefore, was “theto be applied for gettingsecond out of suffering, that would be impossiblebirth”, reason to avoidhuman the it. Theif only that concluded thatSteinhardt sense this In is room. the in tobeen have say, the baptism that leads tonobody went out. But at the same time, it would be impossible that the killer would not Gaston Leroux, in which the problem was that a crime was committed in a room of which by yellow written room” quotes a police novel“The mystery the of Steinhardt that, mannersuggest the doing to of suffer. Inorder accept to joy isto Christ inthe arrive at to way only the that assume and condition, tragically their trespass must men suffering, Steinhardt, How these two, that is to say the joy and the suffering- can coexist? Steinhardt The second answer to the problem of the relevance of the suffering is again given The Happiness Diary , 346 85 That is to say,in order to escape from 38 CEU eTD Collection 88 87 against human beings, the real serious, catastrophic pains, and the little sufferings, which sufferings, little the and pains, real catastrophic serious, the beings, human against ways of acting hastwo “the Enemy words devil- minorother In also–the ones. are there and heroic sufferings big, classical, real are there mockery: the and tragedy the between commandments. divine the suffering”, the“saintly Steinhardt, salvation”. to obtain in order suffering the knowis to think it’sto wrong enough it totally that of runs all good the soul…so the with too. SteinhardtHenriquoted whospoke aboutde Montherlant, “the deathsuffering that suffering and affliction,made writermakes byWeil. difference Whereas latter the the only between physical the former one states that there is uselessyour soul. suffering andact, heal to it lettingto transfiguredmeant and really acceptingwould God suffering. But useful is itinmeans annihilating suffering. factand purpose that not of the Understanding makes and acceptingthe between of understanding the love.His Steinhardt difference the men, who are loved by God, can also consider Godas their major enemy, but because is that paradox The the suffering. inaccepting joy resides Christian’s Weil:the spirit of 86 Christians from this world”. out the take to refuses He nevertheless His kindness, despite that in fact resides the Steinhardt, Henri de Montherlant, in Steinhardt, Soren Kierkegaard, in Steinhardt, in Kierkegaard, Soren The second typology is done in taking as point of reference the difference the reference of point as taking in isdone typology second The typology However, the sufferingthe of envisaged by differs Steinhardt bythat buttotally in reformulated, the from isalso Kierkegaard, extracted The solution The Happiness Diary 86 , 230 The Happiness Diary Happiness Diary 88 the suffering that imitates Christ and is adequate to is adequate and Christ imitates that thesuffering 87 The second category of suffering is, after , 229 , 245 39 CEU eTD Collection 91 90 89 alotquoted from of Steinhardt of cultural the writer, French Weilin genius the Simone and intelligence.” Christianity call not does onlytoblindus butto justice, obedience, tolerance, wisdom a Christian… for doubt be no can there law), (positive commandments human and law) (natural commandments divine the between is aconflict “When there that states He one. be thelast in would attitude of a Christian case correct the idea is that main Steinhardt’s are “well andvalidbynomistake”.established adapt it. system refusing All tothe fighting threesolutions , andfinally,against these – self-mortification of orattitudes: betterpossible next the with dealt They testament”. “political said,of gettingThese beginning solutions journal, wereexposedatthe Steinhardt’s of underthesubtitle out of the cultural personalities: Alexandr Soljenitsin,Alexandr Zinoviev and Winston Chuchill. regime by by followed, envisagedthree also threesolutionstobe mendispositions have attheir total self-neglecting, eventthe of conversion. the Facing sufferings and imposedbytotalitarianism, privations somebefore fact the being written been that Christians, of have them only to addressed the secondregime. one- Of course,be followedin attitude to case proper existencea totalitarian the of the about of the this attitudes latter it ones. with isthe tohave category, patience first important the do no imply ones” serious the aggravate the fact that these considerations are Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Perhaps not only because of their common Jewish nationalities, but also because also but nationalities, Jewish common their of because only not Perhaps Nevertheless,in thefollowing pages –andvery in - his subtle prologue Steinhardt by made considerations the in also lies interest of point A special The Happiness Diary, The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary 91 89 , 9 , 189 . In order to be able to face the sufferings which are part of beare part face toablewhich sufferings the. In to order 121 90 40 CEU eTD Collection 95 94 93 92 less false”. is or more suffering of model this of different avoidpermit him to feel the suffering, to Himself byFather.isabandoned Allthat suffer. To use the words hasauthentic, God taken humanthe hypostasis including inits integrality, the capacity to of Weil –“the sufferingKierkegaard”. made and Jesus Weil, Simone Dostoievski, “invoking made to are Crucifixion pray, on comments Steinhardt to ask Father to his journal, utilizing her in the context of his considerations about suffering. For example, the one who suffers with a stigmatized insect pierced one whothe suffers by with incapable to insect a needle andtotally a stigmatized scandalous”. become to not suffering this that in order needed materialization The was God. over man superiority of suffering: “The Weil: also he quotes and it, given have who writers other he quotes but , definition frequent in Weil’s writings. In her essay, her In writings. in Weil’s frequent Happiness Diary two reflections of Weil and comment on them on relation with cultural references from suffering,butfor asupernatural utilization of suffering.” superiority of isit searchChristianity thatnotdoes for asupernatural remedy for beingthat chosen by means God being by abandoned Him …The extraordinary by is “Theterrible ofWeil,reflections of paradox often Christianity Steinhardt: quoted Weil, Weil, Simone Weil Steinhardt, Waiting for God Gravity and grace In the attempt of In theattemptof notgivedefining suffering, does the Steinhardt original aproper The motif manof of - or Christ -abandoned is byGod, indeed a theme very The Happiness Diary, , Waiting for God 92 His main idea is that the suffering of Christ was entirely assumed as and . , 187 , 156 , 89 167 94 Regarding the same subject, there are another two The love of God andaffliction, of The love 93 95 Let us stop a little on these she compared 41 CEU eTD Collection 100 99 suffer inget suffer usewith to order her absence. him letwalk, and a mother herchild to whoteaches to in similar away apparently cruel heacts humans. the Nevertheless, –Godinfactwatchescarefully happiness and protect and joy real experiencing means God in being of fact the ultimately, because – abandon developed Weil’sidea, butin way.a more concrete During the suffering by provoked the conditions”. the condition of a to in it, heattempts has theatrical something isof death say,Socrates That to God, the torture. while Christ “descends surrounded by his friends while diesChrist alone, leaved by all his followers and in until thecalm, manner, innoble latter The dies one a of Socrates. with that compared Christ, most inferior parts of human tourist. asa he Hell the visited that Dante to reproached Charles Peguy, who quotes Steinhardt 98 97 which isin until agony endof the world”.the atChrist, something suffering of the whoadds stigmatized invisible by way, an aperson it’s is “every also: man a person who baptized fact this enounced formulation, to be almost an impossibility. The Russian theologian Evdokimov, on a different 96 Fora beingreact. human by“thenecessity”, blindmechanism of pierced Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Evdokimov, Paul Weil, Steinhardt, 98 Gravity and grace Steinhardt here God, by being” human of “abandonment the Regarding In the same way, Steinhardt spoke about the un- heroic character of the death of The Happiness Diary, The Happiness Diary, 99 The Happiness Diary In addition, this descent is in fact the most authentic suffering. The ages of spiritual life spiritual of ages The , 45 212 278 , 234 (Bucharest: Christiana, 2003), 78 100 97 Moreover, not without significance 96 loving seems 42 CEU eTD Collection significance of the process of conversion was one of One aim of this thesis is to show that in the cases of Weil and Steinhardt the real 101 their conversions words, time.other In of their events historical the to case- Steinhardt’s pointview theirof -,secondto mainlypreoccupations cultural andfinally,- in from a Christian-philosophical suffering – issueof the senseto conferred conversion returning“turning or process” a like it treat generally example, for Morrison Karl or Rambo, Lewis as such conversion, of phenomenon the studied have who authors of majority The Christianity. of history as institution Church the of acceptance and Refusal attitudes. Tworeligious condition –acomparative approach 4. Two converts thenew existential facing Christian Lewis Rambo, The two conversions presented above are, without any doubt, singular cases in the Understanding religious conversions 101 , from and to religious groups, ways of life and so on. (London: Yale University Press, 1993), 14 conferring sense conferring . First, their First, . 43 CEU eTD Collection 106 105 104 103 part next the Second, Christianity. embracing to them led that steps the following testimonies of their biographies differentother writings –drawingontheir texts, andthe autobiographical friends- with a focus of their it at and looks main the differences Firstly, manner. similarities in a comparative on the processes of their conversions, finallyworld, in the their to led acting of ways accomplish,that the tasksto werethe which clearly saw very they conversion events the Following life. their in orientation cultural and spiritual new affliction”. and uncertainty, love, “mingling life of way be in as “studies could of seen theirtheodicy”. writings 102 commitment”, afaith faith system to a of absence itsthe “from moved They suffering. absurd aspects, and to others – themselves to explain to tried they references, by profane and Christian theirboth Incorporating writings - the essential questionsthem”.(Gospel of Saint John 16, 16) of the human life: from away totake nobody beable “ajoy would that become will end, suffering their its aim, its many times to the apostles that in order to follow himrepeated Christ repentance. to call they Gospel’s the of message of the very content indeed the will have to suffer but at the of theways God”. “vindicated that experiences were Nock, Rambo, Morrison, Morrison, Karl Morrison, The next part of The next presentspart of these metamorphoses chapter this spiritual cultural and new meant a conversion in cases these that show isto my aim thesis of Another remarkable. quite are biographies intellectual Steinhardt’s and Weil’s Conversion, Understanding religious conversions Understanding conversion Understanding conversion 105 Understanding conversion “turned towards a positive “turned towards ideal” 9 , 67 , 66 (London:University Press of 1992),Virginia, 67 , 15 106 102 and, most importantly, acquired a 103 This is reason the why a bigpart 104 In fact, these components are components these fact, In 44 CEU eTD Collection 110 109 108 107 fictive” are nature before them vividare not experiences but literaryonly which by compositions, their very have historians “what statement Morrison’s in texts. present these some extent is, to historical and spiritual truth acertain percentageof real Nevertheless, of experience God. this Human issueinbooks. their simply depictinwords, said, cannot way a complete the subsequent process”. this of description ledthat tohisconversion. with a special focus on baptism, the ritual as mainly that, for is Steinhardt, thevery event discusses their attitudes towards the Church as Institution and towards the Sacraments, Christianity focusing on prayer,a few inspiration,aspects: and searchingfor God, “the her towards Therebe attitude her sheexplains readbyFatherto confessor. only Perrin, justin order letter her Shewrote autobiographical experience. her divine mainof aspects SteinhardtContrary though, sheto neverexpressedthe need toclarify for herself the is for“Waitingman. God” it shehadeven to asingle a confession, addressed though –or Saint –her ofherfrom Augustine experiences life.letter Like Steinhardt volume the ones. honest very being as them on rely can one testimonies, authentic provided who Steinhardt, Nicolae and Weil, Simone Claudel, Paul Pascal, Blaise Augustine, Saint case of uncommon converts, that is , intellectuals of a high stature, such as Saint Paul, Morrison, Steinhardt, James, Morrison, It has been said that “the experience of conversion is quite different from the from different quite is conversion of experience “the that said been has It What Weil wrote, for instance, is an introspective analysis of the divine The varieties of religious experiences, Conversion and text, Understanding conversion, The Happiness Diary, 110 is perhaps only partially true. However, taking intoconsideration the 7 95 66 107 178 James 108 and Steinhardt and 109 have also touched 45 CEU eTD Collection the greatest possible evil”. possible greatest the friends said,“She makingin of mistakewas afraid such a which amanner her seemed to a highly trained one. She never considered the problem of God because, as one of her 116 115 114 113 112 111 pre-eminently of religion the slaves”, “Christianity is convincedherthat experiences human Sheaddedthatthese condition. Both events made herconsciousimplied of sufferingthe by Christianthe view on the andby in in trip shemade the by Portugal. factory yearof the the working anticipated nothing”. knows one whom about speak not does one of ina subject saying that her teachings, mention philosophical God instant of death as the center and object of life.” moment inmoment mylife for have God’” I‘sought oriented direction. Unlike Weil – a convinced agnostic woman, member of a Jewish member of Weil agnosticconvinced woman, – a direction. Unlike oriented marxism. the contest any human being”. letters. her of writing of date down alwaysthe as she put did not order, approximate her death,hermanuscripts –quite numerous indeed -have been publishedin an after is why, This notebooks. in her and letters numerous in her contained mainly notes, hermethod of confessing is and sheSteinhardt’s hasthat numerous autobiographical Weil, Perrin, Thibon, J.M. Perrin, Weil, Gustave Thibon, Weil, Weil, Group, 2005), 27 Quite on the contrary, Steinhardt approached Christianity from from approached Christianity more on a culturally-Quite contrary, Steinhardt the Weil claimed that her discovery of Christ happened “without the intervention of intervention the “without happened Christ of discovery her that claimed Weil Waiting for God, Waiting for God Waiting forGod Waiting for God Simone Weil as we knew her 112 , 22 , 21 Like Steinhardt, she was an agnostic (“I may say that never at any at never that say may (“I agnostic an was she Steinhardt, Like 22 , 21 114 Simone Weilas we knew her Moreover, as one of her pupils remembered, “she refused to 115 Weil claimed that her approach to Christianity was 116 , 28 a very Marxist affirmation for one who will later will who one for affirmation Marxist avery 113 ) until like) until but, conversion,the Steinhardt, 111 In fact, the main difference between main the fact, difference In (London: Routledge Francis– Taylorand 46 CEU eTD Collection period sheperiod wasvisited constantly by his divine presence. Solesmes after the that she claimed as presence, Christ’s of her experience to are related Both Christianity. to conversion of process the for relevant very are which – Steinhardt read ortalked toChristianity. anything referring never she prayed, had events these asuntil new experience, asatotally transformation “Christ himself possession” came downand took clear than on the first occasion when he took possession of me “ in Weil, in of me“ possession took he when occasion first on the than clear moments, Christ is present with me in person, but his presence is infinitely more real, more moving, more 120 119 118 of recitation liturgical services during that week, the recitation of the English mystical poetry,later the the Easter, before at Solesmes spent she weekthat The in this sense. episodes decisive in prayer, hopes”. 117 Britain”. homeis inGreat His atwithout anydoubt, religiosity God, people… English of inconfessing”. Hetraveled alot England andwas andFrance impressedby “deep the his evolution spiritual arerecordedin “testimony” chapter the book “The of the danger of Thedetailsof of God. innerbegan his quest Christianity– and experiences of childhood incompetence memories cultural of retaining Rabbi nostalgicandof the still the the preceptsfollow to Neuman, of Emanuel friend his of theinfluence the under tried, he Jewish family- agnostic religion. He abandoned it after a while – unhappy with the “ I was incapable of thinking of Him without thinking of Him as God…During this recitation or at other at or recitation this God…During as of Him thinking without ofHim thinking of incapable was I “ Weil, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, There are two more important aspects of Weil’s personality – that she shares with she shares – that Weil’s personality aspects of more important two There are Speaking about the events that produced Weil’s conversion she mentioned a few a mentioned she conversion Weil’s produced that events the about Speaking Waiting for God 117 During this period, hefor “sought refuge in inchurches, books, Christian The danger of confessing The danger of confessing Our Father 118 , 27 in Greek, all these contributed to the fact that, assheclaimed, factthat, tothe contributed all inthese Greek, , 179 , 176 119 of her. herinner Sheexperienced 120 Waiting forGod , 24 47 CEU eTD Collection 125 124 122 University Press, 1996), 9 was“struckSouvarine by her beauty”. intofrom sea, the she camea bath her after by testimony.Seeing more Souvarine’s McNamarra , traditional gender role, but women themselves rarely indulge in its implicit eroticism in their writings” in 123 any need for sexual relationships. of absence the with attitude her motivated simply She Steinhardt. and Stein of cases the in livesas monastic adoption of lifethe –like consecrated form any traditional of the of she did not claim to have adopted it for the love of Christ, neither did she orientated it to son”. respectful motherher “your with formula addressedto the letters home, her shealwayssigned at as woman”. a being of her”. about something sinister “asexual, with her as Bataille considered her George friends, of one that such extent beauty an to feminine her masked deliberately She life. her from intrusion male any eliminate to hadtried Weil herconversion before Even for example. deLisieux’s Therese or Stein’s ingredients which would permit name to Weil as a “Bride of Christ”. biological coupling”, social andof combined renunciation the sex celibacy,of with “chastity about is it case in her say, to is That Antiquity. the of rhetoric in the origin its 127 126 121 Gray, Bataille’s testimony in Richard Burton, McNamarra, “’Brides of Christ’ a male concept of female spirituality, serves very effectively to anchor women to a Perrin, Thibon, Perrin, Thibon, Jo Ann Kay McNamarra, After theregarding conversion, shemaintainedattitude hersingularbut sexuality, Nevertheless, her case is more complex than any other similar ones, such as Edith First, sheFirst, beincluded can women” inthecategory of “virile Simone Weil – a life Sisters in Arms Sisters Sisters inarms Sisters 127 Simone Weil as we knew her Simone Weil as we knew her 126 Her attitude was reinforced by her mother who called her “Simon” her by hermother called who was reinforced Herattitude , 56 Sisters in Arms – Catholic Nuns through Two Millennia , 157 , 13 Holy Tears, Holy Blood 125 , 46 , 45 Weil spokeaboutheroften “singular misfortune 124 Bataille’s account was emphasized even was emphasized account Bataille’s , 139 121 123 , a concept that has that a concept , (Cambridge: Harvard 122 48 CEU eTD Collection pretended to follow the sayings of the Gospel: “He that love father or mother more than love that “He father or of Gospel: sayings the to follow pretended He monastery. the at his retirement after especially pleasures earthly all of refusal 128 of much happiness”.so besleep,me towakeupin able middlenight because to not to happened to the the or of wanted me;heme ofhappiness mud.Thestate in all saw lasted the of period prison…it me,his soul:of he arrived he intheaccepted prison “Christ the deepdesire realized journal. his in sexuality of not making didchastity. however, prevent him This considerations many about mentioned inhis Heseemedwritings. toassume, mostly prison the after period, vote the celibate; there is no reference of any feminine presence in his life that he would Christi- is which a religious concept, soul”. Christ as itself butexistence will… of Thinkto as one’s notwhole God’s with part of God, as she wrote in one of her last will letters: the to herself “Blindabandon to and man’s war, the in stick. involved To perceivehumanity whole the one’s of ownsufferings She –whilepretended wasin she in agony ina hospital experience - England to the from her her people life, starting childhood. entire her poor with the solidarity manifested Weil period, of medieval the on thenuns Like suffering. herit, special attitude 129 Gray, Steinhardt, 128 The second important aspectthatsingularizesThe her biographysecond important to spiritual is related Concerning the second problem - the imitation of Christ- as soon as Steinhardt assoon Christ- imitation of -the problem second the Concerning In Steinhardt’s case, these two aspects- namely the chastity and the are, however, less complicated. Before and after the conversion, hea life of had conversion, the andafter Before less complicated. are,however, Simone Weil – a life The danger of confessing 129 , 211 He also manifested the desire of imitating Christ mostly by mostly Christ imitating of desire the manifested Healso imitatio Christi , 187 – imitating Christ – and, in connection in –imitating Christconnection with –and, imitatio 49 CEU eTD Collection 133 neighbor”. one’s for love of idea Christian the had always I childhood my “From earliest in misfortune: love those for a childwascompassionate 132 noble humility refuses, only to finally accept that, after the urging of love.initially after of theurging acceptthat, finally only to refuses, sins, its of conscious soul, the but it, with eat and sit to is soul the to demand between dialogue –infact Love –and Christ the soul “guilty lust andsin”. of content of the poem is called a poem in repeating persisted poetry, she a perfect illustration of her need for lovewith her mother to Solesmes.and penitence. It is factlove),lefta consequenceof of needofsuffering (in needof the Weil the pathology a experience in working and during brink shetothe the factory,periods which accentuated 131 130 “ byKarl Morrison: presented as conversion accompanied it one should consider the two components of the “normal” process of see it, not with animosity, but from distance”. I wanted to how world the works. about Iwasedified me; expressed: shortly revealed to were being human regarding truths the of many prison, in the lived and saw I what by shocked Later too this“I hemotivated on, 10,37). choice: worthy me” was of (Matthew me is not worthy of me. And he that takes not his cross and follows after me is not Weil, Petrement, Morrison, Steinhardt, After meeting the young men from England who introduced her to the mystical the to her introduced who England from men young the meeting After In discussing thatled the mainevents their to conversion and the feelings that Waiting for God Understanding conversion Simone Weil The danger of confessing, ”. 131 As it has been stated before, As has been itstated , 23 , 45 , 8 185 130 the need for loveandpenitence the needfor one of Weil’s dominant characteristics as Love , despite of a terrible headache. The a terrible of , despite 132 After the teaching After the 133 and Love’s the 50 CEU eTD Collection 139 138 137 136 ( Paris, Gallimard, 1950), 10 trembling of anguish, that, maybe, despite all, he loves me” inSimone Weil, does not downlove on the scales.me. I Howdescended135 could without heknowing love anything, me? my Butsoul in pieces…Iin my knowheart, very well thatsome he part of me cannot refuse to think, 134 her. brutally rejects and even manner in justhe a different withtime acts that this Lord, the encounter another narrates hewasthat laughing hertorturer”. feelingthe “God played infidelity her with that of asawife even suspected atoy,or as -by cases converts’ like inother – was combined repentance this However, conversion. herself: “God, please accord me the right of becoming nothingness”. meplease of right accord the “God, herself: tosacrificeorder Himself for the salvation of humanthe being. in of incarnation,(kenosis) divine the uniqueself-humiliation the but actof contained noblenobility assuming ofChrist existential soul, expressed the of a condition. Theacts notmean life only privationsembracing ahumbleness,suffering, butof and also imitating Christ andit contains avery paradoxical pointof view: following Christ would andlaid desolate”. afflicted, mocked, were faithful “even when the conversion insects…never never seekfriendship… dream permit oneself to friendship”. of people, in a sense, I do notfor other be absurdities: “Indeed, for pitied notto need herpatent aterrible manifested exist. I am the color of dead leaves, like certain unnoticed Weil, Morrison, Weil, Morrison, “ I kneeled, I embraced his feet, I begged him not to chase me frombeing next to him. But he threw me Morrison, All her biographers noticed the accentuation of the feeling of repentance after the In Weil’s case she wanted – before, mostly after her conversion, to annihilate to conversion, her mostly after before, – wanted she case Weil’s In “The noble humility” noble “The Waiting for God Waiting for God, 24 Understanding conversion Understanding conversion Understanding conversion , 157 135 138 The assurance of love is generally present in the cases of cases in the present is generally love of assurance The is in fact a component of the spiritual process of , 155 , 66 , 66 134 Another text that she wrote in the end of her life La connaissancesurnaturel 139 Nevertheless, in Nevertheless, 137 136 Weil 51 CEU eTD Collection 141 140 eaten” Karamazov too. Markel, of brother Zosima the abbot inDostoievski’s novel, animals, the of suffering the And humanity. entire the of sins the backs, our on souls, our general culpability: regarding regarding ourselves, We others. carry shoulders,on our on a we realize accuses, imaginary basis of herewe areon that fact the Although guiltiness. prison the convicts could hear the bells of the Church near the prison - : the feeling of our his journal moment the after of his conversion. in recorded repentance of feeling the on testimonies his of one to refer briefly will I this the name of a writer, a book, a character of a book, a song, or a piece of art. To illustrate mentionsit very Weil’s: on with conversion, almost his account of comparing paragraph with cultural Thisisdimensions. infact one of importantdifferences the hisof account interrelated always case, his in usual became it as but, plainly, manifests penitence and the moment of his conversion, that is to say the baptism in the prison, whole”. the in place right in our be the to in order needbe nothing to have for love misery… human of felt, and lived testimony, be a rather they May be that. not they of strength of the soul. But there of endurance and (and tests areoften privations) physicalsufferings men“For courage of is a better use to be made of them.sign ofhumanis dignity in nothingness factrecognizing man’s and assuming truth: this For me then, may in especially writings, her of many Steinhardt, Weil, 141 He feels “the first effect of by He feels first effectof sound “the accentuated the of bells seclusion, in– the after hours afew First, as follows. manifest aspects case two the In Steinhardt’s Graceand gravity . On the aspect of imitating Christ, he quotes Lean Bloy’s claim -“ oh Christ, : it is because of our sins that they arrived to eat one another, and to beand to another, eat one to arrived they sins that our of is because it : The Happiness Diary (London: Rutledge Classics, 2001), 34 , 99 Grace Grace and gravity , she emphasized the fact that the fact that the , sheemphasized 140 The Brothers We 52 CEU eTD Collection 144 143 142 Catholic? or Christian named Miklos orEric Veto whatextentcould have Springsted question: raised the Weil to be as such researchers, Many ”mother.” institution an as Church Orthodox the assumed position in Catholicthe Churchis ambiguous,whereasquite Steinhardtintegrally Weil’s isthat consideration into beshould taken that Oneaspect Church. the towards God, heirs of Heaven. humans would be an invitation to recognize their true condition: that of being sons of all for Lord the of message the that he here concluded From andcondescendence. cases the behavior of Christ was full of dignity, of respect for every human being, of trust of is a“gentleman” being that Christ of characteristic more existential. Thatis to say, he stated first that one of and the mostimportant philosophical less realistic, more optimistic, more generally, is, condition Christian the about view of point Steinhardt’s difference. important an notice to is easy it writers, Steinhardt’s case inWeil’s. Whenjudging entirethan philosophy the religious two the of world”. regarding this attachments takes God out theinstrument of healsurgery, to hedecides us of any pathological when moment “the accept to need one condition, Christian normal the share to order in who prays for those who crucify you and crucifies those who love you”. Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, The second aspect of the comparison between the two refers to their attitudes refersto two the between comparison of the aspect The second the aspect- The second The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary, 128 , 33 , 267 noblehumility 143 of the recent converts- is present more in 144 . He argued that almost in all 142 He states that 53 CEU eTD Collection pray for the world. The socialthe spiritual part of the soul:order “Christ redeemed the vegetative, is not the social.irreducibly He did not as bad for initself the latter regarding -,and thesocial, real one the sensitive, practical that of the prince of this world. Our 145 “accept the Church as the guardian of the truth” Gospels. of andreading the Christ her of experience herown to asmaller than degree case in any and level superficial very a on her influenced knew she theology Christian the lateWeil’s toopen Christianityand Inaddition, came develop world-view. relatively too not enter into the aims of the present thesis. Itsuffices to say that, in contast to Steinhardt, deviations” her of inventory an 149 148 147 146 “ here. In short, she thoughtcomplex that, and, given takenthe size of thisas thesis,a component only a few synthetic of ideasthe about society, it will appear Catholicismstrict sense of the word, apart from all these things that I do love”.is an in love Church the for the slightest the I havenot But andceremonies. rites architecture, hymns, Ilove liturgy, the Catholic saints, lovelove the to them.I creature inadequate love God, Christ and theMoreover,isfor this heronlyargument not being herrefusal “‘Ibaptism. of Sheof said: Catholic faith asin theChurch”. want her not does “God moment, present the for much feeling that, certain as it is possible for such a miserably ersatz Veto, Weil, Weil, Weil, Perrin, Thibon, If her“religious philosophy” weretobe inisitanalyzed “take detail, possible to Following Father Perrin’s - one of her closest friends – testimony, she claimed to The problem of The how Weil very Churchisthe understood problem of complicated and of truth”. The religious metaphysics of Simone Weil Graceand gravity Waiting for God Waiting for God, Simone Weil as we knew her 149 She made the difference between two aspects of life, the vegetative – oflife,vegetative aspects the two between Shemade difference the , 12 31 , 165 145 . Butthis is a quite toosubstantially subjectwhich does , 231 , 160 146 but she stated also that she had the 148 147 54 CEU eTD Collection 153 152 151 150 beisChurch, because divine more perhaps dangerous which claims to of the only duty with regard to the social is to try to limit the evil of it. A society like the disguised” divine: it mixture, anintoxicating with which of license.carries every Devil sort which it contains than because of the evil which sullies it. Something of the social labeled Perrin affirmed that for Weil, the love of Christ “seemed to be enough”. to “seemed Christ of love the Weil, for that affirmed Perrin regarding this aspect, connected with her opinion about the Catholic Church. First, Father add afewideas to hereitwould beproper baptism. However, Weil the receive to something uprooted”. involvementin hasChristianity made of Christendom,in itsregard toown past, people, have the of the uprootedness wholeuprooted of terrestrial caused globe.Their the handful that Jews, Neither repulsive…The is Beast always The Great islikable. other the nor one religion. of Beast Great the is Israel itself. but nothing adoring materialism, and she has anti-Semitic affirmations: “Rome is the Great Beast of atheism and from Apocalypse, Beast Great with the Catholicism of capital-city Rome, the compares organization for andits inflexibility the authority.of she Moreover, even arrived to its social of narrowness and for therigidity Church the Shereproached final limit. to the waiting”. Church, Perrin, Thibon, Weil, Weil, Weil, In the first chapter were exposed the principal reasons concerning the refusal of therefusal concerning reasons theprincipal wereexposed firstchapter In the the of threshold the “on she claimed as remain, to she preferred speak, to So Graceand gravity Waiting for God Graceand gravity 150 . Simone Weil as we knew her 151 She wanted to be included in it, but she refused to accept it, going , 145 152 , 165 , 166 , 45 153 He stated that, Hestated ersatz good 55 CEU eTD Collection 154 due toher “extremely superficial idea she hadof Churchthe and Catholics”, that everyone has the liberty hethinks evangelicals), nevertheless or (neo-protestants “sects” of asmember recognized of choosing his own generally those with at opinion thesame not is evenifhe that, stated way He confessions. of seeing religion. Christian confessions Christian three from However,priests of in presence the baptized all, he was, who of after the beginningthought, Steinhardt’s itmarks character ecumenical of monk.became The a Steinhardt after period Rohia a short monastery preached to God. proper to stop at one of hisis it sense, sermons this In etc. poetical, regarding economic, juridical, styles: the language of cultvariety a melted of the Cross-and of the Motherhe orthodoxy, of Christian of apology his by Moreover, Key. Christian in a culture of areas Christianity. He seems this for area of artifacts cultural atypical very he utilizes literary analyses, sermons, to be until now,letters, articles, Christianity, the concerning all his writings In converts. orthodox Christian only converted who succeeded Orthodox Tradition, with one particularity makes that his case singular in history the of to Christian view the within fully are Church the all concerning he wrote that considerations his of all mostly reborn, spiritual his as he regarded that event baptism, the After be baptized. feel theneedto not individualistic religiouspreferred tofind inherstating thatritual, does she refugee own Perrin, Thibon, The sermon wasincluded in The volume “ the sermon one. avery obedient put, is, Church simply the towards position Steinhardt’s Simone Weil as we knew her , 46 By giving youwillgiving gain” By anditwas 154 she 56 CEU eTD Collection 158 157 156 Iliad, Bhagavad Gita or Upanishads. Steinhardt, despite his multicultural skills, seems to seems skills, multicultural his despite Steinhardt, Upanishads. or Gita Bhagavad Iliad, a syncretism, in one she which decipherattempted to message Christian in as writings neglecting the suffering of the Lord. The cultural profile not is focused in while main fact on of Christianity resurrection, Steinhardt’s vision of Weil allowed her to arrive at way. unusual very Church the alot in unlike Weilwhotheorized it conceptthe of understanding obedience a conditions”, social the made to friends and,ideas any refused concession her mentioned“she asoneof with obstinacy go of out Platonic one cannot latter whereas the But Weil. of Simone way a counterpart samplesGospels or ofprayers addressed tothe Mother of God. But he didn’t neglect the theological language,mentioning dogmas, fragments from of “psychoanalysis” ,“the coordinates “graphics”, universe”. the “perpendicularity”, ,“plan”, as“metaphor” - concepts style a literary also and he usedamathematical Cross, Defining of of illustrate the God. charity Mother Brassensthe inthe to George order of song of a text Heusedthe human condition. of character merciless and tragic the 155 Human fate consolations and helps for the soul, that is to say, the Cross and Mother of God. belief” of for “brothers adifferent feels “compassion” Burton, Perrin, Thibon, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Moreover, Weil’s faith “was stuck, so to speak, on Good Friday”, Good on speak, to so stuck, “was faith Weil’s Moreover, Shortly put, Steinhardt is the model of multilateral Christian intellectual, in some intellectual, Christian multilateral of model is the Steinhardt put, Shortly He also stated, among other things, that the Cross anticipated literary creations, as Holy Tears, Holy Blood By giving you will gain By giving, you will gain of Malraux or Simone Weil as we knew her Journey at the end of the night Journey attheendof , 145 157 , 282 , 277 the former is really a practical and obedient servant of servant obedient and apractical formeris really the , 120 155 because they missed two great they missed two because of Celine, books which proved 158 whereas 156 57 CEU eTD Collection content of of content his message. spiritual be more simple, more comfortable for the reader and, probably, more human in the 58 CEU eTD Collection about this theme is theme this about deals which essay main the but writings, her of majority in the present heterogeneous, – Iunderstand it’s and Lord the Iaminsidethat of taboricalthe light.” butwords, by transmissionthe Andof thoughts. Iunderstand, byintellect and by feeling will last forever, it is a all is it parts, atotal happiness,is and that outside nothing it. Iam in Iknow thelight. it light and –white brightlight –and Ifeelextremelyhappy.surrendersme Thethat from a lightbuthe supposed that be Christ:to “I donotseein Christ person, butonly a huge inner silence, sweetness, calm and so on. He did not pretend that he “experienced” Christ, 160 159 with her in his very “person” Weil was very direct and audacious in herwhereas accountBut assuffering. his he with claim and him that with God relations hadtheir to been also and presentpassion Christ’s Job’s. and as Christ’s suffering cases towards of two attitude willupon secondpart becomment followed. The to of suggested approach focuswill onsufferingandattitudes typology definition, their the comparative part, In theoretical the chapter. of this in thecontent appear they will meaningfrom ofemergeand true this ones other sense, Nevertheless, suffering. also, was meaningless oneunless was taught toreferit He toChrist. wouldin be, essence, the Christ in ofsuffering ways Two Steinhardt, Weil, Weil’s discourse on suffering is, as it was shown in the first chapter, very chapter, in first the itwas shown is, as suffering on discourse Weil’s Referring first to their autobiographical writings, both both againandfirstagain to Referringturned totheir writings, autobiographical In their very different ways, Weil and Steinhardt held to the idea that suffering Waiting for God The Happiness Diary Love of God and affliction of Love , 58 perpetuum immobileperpetuum , 95 159 , Steinhardt wrote, Steinhardt only states about of soul:happiness, . It’s me, . isinHere it hercase that obvious the the light whispers to me, but not by 160 59 CEU eTD Collection 162 161 Steinhardt, she stated also that sufferingsoul”, “affliction is in factwas a distance”, “a marvel of divinenot technique”. always the into inertia of a poison inject “affliction soul”, de-creative, whole the submerges horror of kind in other words,man”, “a a dead more than for absent atime,be absentto appear makesGod “affliction it lessof more death”, or life, a equivalent is that“affliction of uprooting states an findhe to generally ameaning Weilit tries many of it.- , gives She ways of defining personalization. – de in this Christ follow to suffering byde-creative canarrive being a human same way, case.In the Christ’s is toexpress (Philippians,Cross” TheGreekhimself” “he 2,6-8). word words the humbled as man , he humbled form the himself andof madea servant, wasin thelikeness men.beingAndof found infashion and became be not robbery made equal But to ofnowith God. himself upon reputation,him and took obedient unto deathmind be in you which, was evenalso in Jesus Christ. Who,this “Let the beingPhilippians: into Paul the Saint of form death of Epistle in the God, thoughTestament New inthe itform simpler of the in a waspresent theorizes Weil which about de-creation the fact, In themselves. create bescandalous”. not should superiority this sothat necessary was Incarnation The his in divinity weobtain that order “Suffering: salvation: man superiority of over God. imitatinginfact is with Herenouncedto of interrelated concept de-creation, that Christ. Weil, Weil, ekenosen, Weil made the difference between physical suffering andaffliction and, as – journal his in minimal is suffering the of theorization whose Steinhardt, Unlike The Passion of wouldChrist be model the beto followed by men in order to de- Waiting for God Graceand gravity which means “to become empty”, so to say, to renounce to the divinity in , 73 , 48 162 161 60 CEU eTD Collection 165 164 163 “uselesscould anddegrading”, bealso, about this transformation now, in the name of Christ”. nourishment. Andme let be paralyzed, blind, deaf, anidiot, animbecile. Father, bring of Christ, and given as a food to the unfortunate whose body and soul lack substance all the kind into of transformed God, by devoured me, from be wrenched this all may , - that “May all this – she meant her will, her senses, her intelligence even her love for “ found rightly in terrible Weil.the of called prayer” one of notebooks the desires She God suffering. a necessity of moreover, a state and, of renunciation to total themakes soul arriving de-creative suffering true However, and cooperation. consent soul’s without the of ego, the destruction external suffering”. condition we donotseekknowledgeis that init.seek It permissible that only in to soul is through lost seeking knowledge in Why?pleasure. is Pleasure perhaps innocent on Adam and Eve. The Sirens offered of serpentas sources The to knowledge. “Suffering enjoyment and knowledge offered knowledge Moreover,order. accepting it desiring and itto mean finding would also pleasureinit: Ulysses. These storiespain, teachas obedience that the to The insignificant. Everything was pain the initself recognition and about a was desireof divine order and, so to say, as a means of entering into God’s interesting, uses as sources first the poetry, in general the French one but not only. He Weil, Weil, Weil, This was the sense of what Simone Petrement, her close friend and biographer, To sum To sum up, herbasic would attitude bethat of accepting suffering,it. assuming In order to give a sense to the problem of suffering, Steinhardt, and that is very Gravity and grace Notebooks Waiting for God 165 , in Petrement, in , , , 145 Simone Weil – a life 163 infernal indeed it infernal when was only a purely , 142 164 61 CEU eTD Collection 168 167 166 Weil Simone he “Dostoievski, wouldwith stated bein opinion that same the Steinhardt suppose that his divine nature was lost at that moment. would which before hisdeath of Christ exclamation strange this debateconcerning to the more”.sufferto make believe and fear/ To rest in our own suffering/ is evasion of suffering./ We must try quotes the verses of T. S. Elliot: “We must try to penetrate the other private worlds/ of referring tothe problem of sins of man crucify Christ until the end of the world. Also Steinhardt quotes Simone Weil a hotel of in aroom incessantly and isrepeatedly killed kingwho an Incas depicts “La themort French Lerbaud,writer written deAtahualpa.” Here by Valery from a book opinion is also Steinhardt who makes a parallel between the Passion of Christ and a scene same the On days.” of end the until agony in be would “Christ that states who Bloy Leon joy”. beto conscious of“the paradoxical law of Christianity sufferingthat is springthe of very Christianimportant, would and, of bethat and assuming, accepting correct attitude them. The to response use tofindarational is no there very clear: becomes Bible all Why mocks in that, human being? in devil the He states the the – textof principle, the injustice in the world?to human life.Also,questions responding to as –Why men suffer? Why is somuch Why there approach Christian very the aremore, suffer to learn to but so suffering, own manyin our remaining diseases and why every man must die? Steinhardt, Steinhardt, T. S. Elliot, 167 Arguing that Christ assumed entirely the suffering of human condition, human of suffering the entirely assumed Christ that Arguing Speaking about modelsChrist Speaking referssuffering, Weilfirst about of to andshe quotes Happiness Diary, Happiness Diary The Waste Land 166 That is to say, Steinhardt claimed that the aim was not that of , 227 in Steinhardt, Eli, Eli lama sabahtani – O, God, whyme? Eli lamasabahtani –O,God, didyouabandon Eli, 256 The Happiness Diary , 224 168 as 62 - CEU eTD Collection 174 173 172 171 170 169 marvels the Job to he showed noticed, Weil as fact in interrogations, of a series resuming strange, is very friends his and Job between controversy the after reaction God’s other words, there is no logicclaimed that the answer of God to the problem suffering of doesnotresolve response, itentirely, in at least from the rational human point of view. afigureChrist”. than of character be “lessahistorical to considered wounds of the body of Christ”. significance only thatthe made byhumansthings whoin arrived have theheaven are the spear”. and of nails the marks the bore Christ of body glorified “the when resurrection the after verified fact was Crucifixion” the love, of and Kierkegaard”. Earth. The “cipher of the book of Job” of book the of “cipher The Earth. man, as he came toJob, and he would show him the beauty of the world. wouldthe faith,and come God to his seeinghispatience As assumea consequence, it. indeed,man very world, the suffering must, asJob,endureitreality our was, of and love In factthat main the big,her God. accepting as model for idea was authentic of that, story herJob inas manyconsideringof writings, a model it of of authentic suffering and Steinhardt, Weil, Steinhardt, Weil, Weil, Steinhardt, The second model by proposed suffering of Weil is figure biblical the of Job Steinhardt use the story of Job in order to justify the existence of suffering on Waiting for God Waiting for God Waiting for God The Happiness Diary The Happiness Diary Happiness Diary, 169 Like the two writers named before her, Weil thinks that “this marvel , 70 , 72 , 73 170 171 was a real and authentic drama, both human and divine. This divine. and human both drama, authentic and real a was 53 That is to say, as Steinhardt claimed “it is not without , 228 , 213 172 174 is contained in final.the As Weil, Steinhardt 173 She discussed the Shediscussed 63 CEU eTD Collection and self-humbleness. of creation. In addition, the reaction of Job was one of recognizance of divine wisdom 64 CEU eTD Collection 175 work. entire their reading after but understood be cannot that thinkers of category is,indeed a provocation. As one of her Romanian translator used to say, she is part of that herphilosophy investigation whaton researcher,an matter time no for andpresent until on. so which hercan influence thought the way we thinkaboutjustice, friendship, education and visibilitygreater firstfor originality the her andforof thinking potential the ways in Weil deserves inabout theworld. Simone Nevertheless, thought actual worldour or in effectedsome our eithermore change ashaving easily are de Beauvoir, recognized Simone Gandhi, Mahatma Camus, Albert example, For Weil. Simone is than audience area. cultural influenced European works their andhistorical how political century second, our and thesis will contain first an overview of how they were perceived in the intellectual area of makescomplexity of that to beunderstood.This their them thought difficultpart of the in becausethe of time is the history present popularity reduced,perhaps theirso on, and society, culture, way seeing God, theirof paradoxically, singular However, despite history intellectual century the 20 in Steinhardt Nicolae and Weil ofSimone place The www.nistea.com Additionally,her is work reallyenormous as dimension and understand, difficultto Many of the Twentieth Century’s political thinkers are better known to culturalare,Weil indeed,intellectual figures and Steinhardt inmodern unique history of era. th 175 65 CEU eTD Collection 178 177 180 prize. Nobel accept the to inorder Stockholm to plane the Rebel of writer Weil century.Camushad the in Simone mind "thevery prototypeas of the life did notpositively influence his own and serve as a moral guide. of her thought the that hardly a day was there hersincesaid death that said that Gaulle classmate of Simone WeilSchumann, Maurice century. our of important thinkers number of great influenced a and subsequent foreign she said, simply interpreted, commented, ministercontested, condemned, loved, detested, mocked, of France under Charles de 179 176 me.'' avaguethreatto constitute absorb Icouldinto myattitude. reciprocating my her not and seemed this to universe, farfrom been me, would have had she met she though that, admiration; I knew with me filled these all courage sheer her and commitment, total her asceticism, reputation was big. Simone deBeauvoir wrote of Weil:"Herintelligence,Simone her exclaimed once XXIII, John tofuture the MauriceRoncalli, Angelo development. intellectual in their influences Schumann, "O yes, I loveimportant befound Weil amongmost the and John to VI, XXIII Paul successive Popes, this soul!" Even as a schoolchild, her our common life”. ideas idiom to “toconnect heruncommon and languageordinary intoan philosophical Albert Camus, Perrin, Thibon, Simone de Beauvoir, Gray, Simone Petrement, Both Albert Camus and André Gide referred to her as the most important spiritual The challenge of reading Simone Weil is to “translate” her, to transform her to transform her,Weil is to “translate” Simone of reading The challenge ,” 178 Simone Weil He stated that he spent an hour of meditation in her Paris room before taking before room Paris her in meditation of hour an he spent that stated He L’homme revolte Simone Weil as we knew her, , 229 176 Simone Weil – alife Weil Simone Memories of a Dutiful daughter After all, even herlife,during she wasdiscussed, denied, approved, (Paris:Gallimard, 1987), 78 180 , 256 45 in Gray, in Simone Weil 179 In the early 1960s two , 228 177 The 66 CEU eTD Collection 186 185 184 183 182 181 of saints”. and their live. Thomas Elliotwrote, “Simone Weil possessed a kind of genius akin tothat century have the powerful influence to testified Simone Weil hadontheir that thinking power”. dynamic of history is not economic need, as Mark would have it,put but the very race for untilsubjugated endthe by of days of tyranny the a few asforherpeople, “thebasic doubt, any without be, will men age: modern the about pessimistic extremely herself by has inits leader. been proves example RussiatheworkingShealso class cheated own undermining notions for proletariatof the asanagent Marx’s changerevolutionary – critique of Marxism which postulates that the historical revelationsGod. of the 1930’s of manifesting an“almost protestantpride” were for refusing amediator between herself and alienation” of age in an Saint as roots T. S Eliot, preface to Weil, to preface S Eliot, T. Simone Weil, Simone Weil, Gray, Leslie Fielder, introduction to Weil, T. S Eliot, preface to Weil, to preface S Eliot, T. In addition, other well-known literary and political figures of figures the twentieth and political literary well-known other In addition, Now, referring to her political work, two titles are very well known: 183 184 Simone Weil 186 (1942) 181 The American critic Leslie Fielder wrote that she “symbolized the Outsider the she “symbolized that wrote Leslie Fielder critic TheAmerican Oppression and liberty roots for need The and , 227 Opression andliberty The needforroots The needforroots (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952) 182 Waiting for God (London: Routledge group 1958) . American lay theologian Doris Grumbach accused her (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952), xiii (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952), xii 185 (1934). The latter one it’s a very onelatter it’s avery powerful (1934).The , 5 The need for The need 67 CEU eTD Collection deranged fantasies of deranged fantasies chauvinisticthe andaccused Peguy” Weilof a “captious, by only the it surpassed to nonsense as a“collection research referred egregious of all schools. into religion of reintroduction the demands she things other among – tendency religious pronounced a with era,impregnated in youth postwar of the of education she principles some last, enounces them in herown way:liberty, equality, honor, security, freedom of opinion and soon. At different kinds of “obligations” nations mustfulfill their towards citizen, andshe defines roots was a central causeWar two. Her main thesis is that the Western ofnations’ failure to fulfilltotalitarianism the human need for dead, in asthe her twentieth response to century.the of representative utopia Weil modernity. the infinished thebook 1942, ayear her before historical She most the of describesone crisis text, political important most her be to ofconsidered it as thedimension, themoment – that is to say, the World 187 moreanything valuable since Marx”. his introduction, “western henoted, social politicaland thoughthas produced not inCamusAlbert Gallimard. published 1940whenhe asan to herbook editor works In endthe which he set himself and the sequencemeans of suitable for attaining this end”. concerning judgment from man bea preliminary every proceeds action onewould whose and free butby thought action:and between absolutely the , a relationship satisfaction its 188 Weil, Albert Camus, Introduction to Weil, The former work, However, she was admired and contested for this work. For example an American example an For for this work. contested and admired she was However, For her, the concept of liberty defined conceptofliberty For her,the “ isnot desire by between a relationship Opression and liberty , 146 The needforroots, Oeuvres completes 188 is much moreis and complex extended as in Gray, Simone Weil , 81 187 68 CEU eTD Collection 192 191 190 189 new a introduce to but religion, new a found to not humans, us, to ideaJesusfreshnew, pointof Christianity a came the that view. Hekeptrepeating alive, by Mihail Constantineanu, who in studied his“Steinhardthaddetail all work: on political and cultural thought. personalityhis be will work with andhis remembered,together of overview a general French for Italian example.or Here,only Romanian cultural appreciationshis the of Nevertheless, area. cultural European the in known very not is generally culture Romanian as writer, assembly”. legislative been and lost their capacity fordestroyed thought in lifethe of hustingsthe and the has leisure their before young the by be studied to ought which books those of “one as misinformed playing with Hinduism and comparative mythology”. however, not however, Indeed, written amongthe testimonies by convictsof one is,communist prisons,this the byhishis in “a work journal theculture”.and Romanian as style unique content happy,joyful all time and well – disposed…” image of Christ with the idea of nobility, aristocracy. He stated that our obligation is to be us outof violate us,takes prejudices.scandalize the us, us,trouble our Heassociated Arsavir Acterian, Mihail Constantineanu, T. S Eliot, preface to Weil, to preface S Eliot, T. Kenneth Rexroth, Perhaps the most synthetic appreciation of the thought of is of Steinhardt expressed syntheticof thought Perhaps themostthe appreciation French the of reputation the doubt, any without possess, didn’t Steinhardt Nicolae One of the most known Romanian literary critics, Arsavir Acterian appreciated The HappinessDiary just How I became Christian Twentieth century literary Criticism a document about the communistthe isina documentjournal factthe The about gulag. 190 The literary Romania The needforroots was translated so far into a few foreign languages as languages a fewfarinto foreign so translated was (Bucharest: Ed. Harisma, 2001), 34 (New York: Putnam’s sons, 1952), xiii , nr.3, 1988 191 in Gray, Simone Weil , 228 189 way of life Eliot appreciated it appreciated Eliot , in order to 192 69 CEU eTD Collection 195 Steinhardt as being . Steinhardt hypocrite an young generation” of the Romanian cultural area.As reaction, Mircea Vulcanescunamed is “The called of what part All these are soon. and Emil Cioran Bogza, Geo Bogza, Geo Eliade, fellow –Mircea writers his forcontemporary written parodying are that Steinhardtgavejust after his Thevolume inlegalstudies. in PhD fact is of agroup essays 194 Humanitas, 2006), 35 disorder”. sign firstof social isthe Infact anti-Semitism the state. that of economy the ruin of the lead to and a people of of decadence moments the during its 193 Judaism” (Essay onaCatholicConception about Judaism) Communion . and tinerilor), genul youths”(In thought…of the “In Judaism, on essays count hundreds of books, articles,journals, movies and so on. in it literary quoted works history areligious,cultural,a conversion, The political one. of Here Steinhardt states, “Those who sustains the existence a existence the sustains “Those who states, Steinhardt Here propose solutions of reforming of mosaic religious institutions after the Catholic model. neither with communism or with socialism - during the era between the twowars and the Emanuel Neuman and contains a ofJudaism critique asbeing– considered incompatible (Illusions and Jewish realities) Mircea Vulcanescu, in George Ardeleanu, in George Vulcanescu, Mircea Nicolae Steinhardt, Nicolae Nicolae Steinhardt and Emanuel Neuman, Emanuel and Steinhardt Nicolae solution “In the thought…of the youthness” the thought…of the “In The best knownpolitical of Nicolaeworks are Steinhardt followings:the his are to be called anti-Semites. The anti-Semitism takes pathological forms pathological takes anti-Semitism The be called anti-Semites. areto The twoessays on Judaism are “ In the thoughtofthe youthness . They were written in collaboration with his friend, his with incollaboration written were They . 195 Essays on Judaism (Eseuri despre iudaism) Nicolae Steinhardt and the paradoxes of theliberty 194 (Bucharest: Ed.Humanitas, 2006) was written under the name of Anthistius of name the under written was Essai surconceptioncatholique une de and Jewish problem Illusions et realites juives 193 (Bucharest: Ed. (Bucharest: TheBookof and seekfor , 123 70 CEU eTD Collection joyful relativism”. joyful Romanian world situated form in fact“the from comedy this characters that the states basically He key. Christian under a theunder but century, confluence twentieth the of half first the from society Romanian the of portrait of Occident and sees the Orient, Steinhardt inwhich written by Caragiale a piece Herefers of theatre to letter.” the world of a among which there is a very interesting one – the longest –entitled “The secret of the lost 197 196 George Ardeleanu, George Steinhardt, Nicolae The bookofcommunion 197 NicolaeSteinhardt and the paradoxes of liberty, The book of communion (Cartea impartasirii) 196 is in fact an anthology of articles written by Steinhardt, Cluj –Napoca: Ed.Apostrof,2004 351 71 CEU eTD Collection Univers ,2001) ,12 199 198 caused by by brought powerful the agitation Divinethe Grace”. myopen I heart. was trying elucidate, to pencilinthe my hand, acurious state of soul it:“Writinghimself myselfjournal, expressed a animperious Isubmitted to to desire testimonies, all of which unfold their tomentionletters, journals, justa few, ahugeNicolae wrote of Steinhardt, amount spiritual evolution. As Leopold Levaux, a convert, Augustin. Saint of exception the with perhaps style- sober and concise very a in Christianity rhetorical maestro Aelius Aristide wrote testimonies on how the theyand turned Nola, of Paul their Saint attention Apuleius, to Apostle, the Paul hand, one the On phenomenon. frequent have avery become they times during our rare, elliptic and were very conversions Whereas about centuries the first of confessions the Christianity during the approaches one of the most terrible problems of the human lives, namely the suffering. consciousand become reflect to possibility the people Age give Modern of the conversions of ofexperience psychological exceptional the themselves.therefore, and, rare extremely is analysis phenomena of conversion.ThisNancy Gautier discusses the of origins autobiographicalthe genreinthe of contextthe Duringawakening the Antiquity the practice of introspectiontakes andConclusion selfplace – in a very special way and Eugen Simion , Nancy Gautier in Ardeleanu, in Gautier Nancy On the other hand, Paul Claudel, Julien Green, Max Jacob, Simone Weil, and fullOur century literaryis, any confessions without doubt, and testimonies. of In her onconversion accounts in study “Autobiographical Roman Empire”, The fictional aspect of intimate journal(Fictiunea jurnalului intim) Nicolae Steinhardts and the paradoxes of liberty, 199 171 , (Bucharest: Ed. 198 72 CEU eTD Collection 200 Reading retains everything. and rapidity Hereadsbyanelectronic enormous. is His knowledge it. do to time the hepossesses way in what that, do to succeeds he how biology, psychoanalysis, dodecaphonic music, abstract art, and so on. Icannotunderstand knows everything, heisin connection with everything: microphysics, cybernetics, information. He of of assimilation capacity amazes his mewith extraordinary “Steinhardt religious One hiswritings. of formerAlexandru fellow declared convict, Paleologu Christianthe writersorthodox did succeed inmeltingmany so cultural inreferences their special and unique is intellectual their formation.Looking atSteinhardt’s case, none of baptized one. a not though – Catholic a Weil and Orthodox Christian was Steinhardt confessions: However, religiosity. the of experiences and types different very two for stand theseintellectuals two the types claim is to them viewon of Asynthetic andinteresting. numerous are quite – presentthesis religiosity the of point key the – intellectuals converted of trajectories in their differences and do similarities the Moreover, not scarce. is history intellectual the of area this steam to contribution from theirthe act of conversion and the autobiographical impulse are intertwined. Research on their attachment to differentwaiting for me and, taking my hand,led me inside”. path of salvation. But by which,ifit, not beenI had led by force,ita supernatural would makeme erring from the I arrived to the Gates “Thisthat journal history by becamewritten ofmy spiritualday day adventure, the of the Church where somebody was Eugen Simion, An even better testimony in this sense is that of Pierre Van der Meer. He states The very The very ingredient makesthat them and theirway understandingof Godso where culture any sameareaof tothe belong,doubt, andWeil without Steinhardt The fictional aspect of intimate journal (Fictiunea jurnalului intim), 200 127 Happiness 73 CEU eTD Collection totally Christian spirit: suffering is the most common acts by which God is active in our active is God which by acts common most is the suffering spirit: Christian totally This very experience of suffering leads them to the same conclusion that they express in a other. in the imposed externally and case in one self-imposed suffering: real with deal both they is that two the between similarity evident an Firstly, suffering. the assume and reason why she is not very popular in the French secularized cultural milieu. andWeil is monotonous, difficultread.This complex, sometimes isperhaps to one is vivid,engaging, readermanifestlet very ardent, hisliberty. Whereas the Steinhardt Gustave itThibon puts “she always be wanted to absentfrom her writing” As impersonal approach. andthe thepersonal concealing the self: expressing versus styles and writing andSteinhardt’s Weil’s between The main difference too. references, litterary ways of filtering includeunderstandnotebooks of writing. areamultitude her difficult However, to times at and complex very her of overview an give to culturein order made was selection This through in Iquoted that my is thesis reflecting of only “theoreticalthe part” her wayof thinking. the Christian metaphorsand many more. tales fairy biology, literature, music, – meanings- Christian extracts he is authors atheistic the way of Steinhardt’s findswritings of comments one profane poetry – evenfrom self-declared just other religious writing, Orthodox mentionwriters inspiration Romanian assources the of writers: and analysis saints, Fathers of the desert, bishops, monks and so on. In 202 201 Diary Perrin, Thibon, Alexandru Paleologu, you became by struck much so erudition.” The other element that both connects and separates them is the way they theorize they way isthe them separates and connects both that element other The Weil follows a similar pattern with Steinhardt’s. The primary source of her work Simone Weil as we knew her The alchemy of existence , 213 (Bucharest: Ed.Humanitas, 2001), 145 201 Usually, in the area of religious of area in the Usually, 202 in order to in order 74 CEU eTD Collection 206 205 204 of the comparative approach answers the first part of authors the firstpart of thistwo First, answers the question. of approach comparative the very essence The facing? life are modern that dilemmas the to speak they do what extent life” is “suffering –as life and Christianity famous toparaphraseCeline’sof night”, the title. during this life. thesuffering experienced She andwanted totravel “untilwith it end the leastno not has end,at Weil’s case,suffering afterIn Luke The 25, 21). Gospel Lord”( the of joy the into “enter can soul the suffering, by purified being after words, other God’s God’s approval - toall vicissitudes of life,“the happiness becomes mandatory”. important thing here: big passingaperiodafter of by being suffering, after exposed – one “decided toheal from us all of dependence the world”.this of say,isinsuffering.clean to That to order thesoulfrom its like impurities, Godacts in fact the suffering. From the moment ahuman soul turns God,to it enters under the seal is inleast God’s reward not at senseof reciprocation. from human his part, the a reward at Steinhardt. Weil gave tosuffering sense though Christ,by it to relating an attitude is that found also 203 this on Earth”, living of joy enormous abundant, “ the to participate to called is man that states one This in life, spirit whichis joysan the contradiction true of Christianity. attitude this of with all the earthly the an assherefuses of to extreme this experience Weil’s casetakes lives. Feodor M. Dostoievski, M. Feodor Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Steinhardt, Finally, one may wonder to what extentwhat twowaysof these may approaching Finally, to wonder one Secondly, both assume that following the commandments of God does not imply not does God of commandments the following that assume both Secondly, The danger of confessing The Happiness Diary, The Happiness Diary 203 not to refuse it because of a personal preference for poverty and pain. and poverty for preference apersonal of because it refuse to not Karamazoff brothers (FratiiKaramazof) , 234 156 , 145 206 – are compatible and, more to important, and, – arecompatible (Bucharest: Ed. Albatros, 1982), 267 204 Steinhardtadded avery 205 In 75 CEU eTD Collection 236 207 exclusively preoccupied withhimself, an egoist of piety”, is who hermit a be of seenas“that cannot however, attitude, Steinhardt’s monk. in her spiritual loneliness, whereas Steinhardt found it better to live the rest of his life as a perseverated Weil conversion, her After drew. they conclusions were the so and different were experiences religious their However, hisdetention. after especially moderate more in intransigence, Steinhardt’s perhaps case havegenius the and same same cultural the conscious of him, of his role on this earthly existence and on the eternal one. honest with himself willand with finally God, be ablebecome to self-conscious. Self being lifeof as and patience, perseveres inattention of innera componentand God quest In seeks for the this who meaning everyone sense, they ofsuffering after true converted. withoutsignificancehim is and privations not assumedaffliction.writers It thatboth the understandincapable thesuffering to way inanother being whichbrings something than man is mere Themodern of or ways exotic thinking. appearasabsurdities annihilation” “self- become nothing”, to ,“desire suffering” into the like “joy ideas existence, earthly inthe happiness resides true the that convince people to aretrying and publicity culture, from it. be detached to chose himand around world the understood aman who of as theattitude LeoBaeck, Secondly, in the contemporary societies, where the entire social discourse, media, entirediscourse, social the where societies, in contemporary Secondly, the Judaism and Christianity (Philadelphia: The Jewish Publication Society of America, 1958) of America, Society Publication Jewish The (Philadelphia: 207 but, ashe himself confessed, 76 CEU eTD Collection of SimoneWeil (Marturisiri din mlastina disperarii) dinmlastina (Marturisiri 1988 New YorkPress, Publication Society ofAmerica, 1958 Ed. 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Sofia, 2001 Conversion – The Old and The New from in Religion The New and –TheOld Conversion Understanding conversion Understanding Conversion andTextConversion The varietiesreligiousexperiences of The provocationsofecumenism(Provocarile Simone Weil –a Simone life. The alchemy of existence (Alchimia existentei) Sisters in Arms – Catholic Nuns through – CatholicNuns inArms Sisters Simone WeilSimone aswe knew her . London: University Press of . London: Oxford University London: . New York: StateUniversity . London: University Press . NewYork: 79 , . CEU eTD Collection tinerilor ) tinerilor Napoca: Ed Dacia, 1992 marturisirii) Cluj 2004 Ed. Apostrof, – Napoca: Bucharest: Ed Humanitas,Bucharest: 2006 Ed Symbol,1992 Buchaest: State University of New York Press, 1994 Cluj Napoca:EdDacia, 1997 jurnalului intim) 1993 Press, University Steinhardt, Nicolae. Veto, Miklos. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Steinhardt, Nicolae. Eugen. Simion, Steinhardt, Nicolae. Steinhardt, Nicolae. 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Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Weil, Simone. Paris: 1950 Paris: Gallimard, The needforroots Gravity andGrace Waiting for God. Waiting for Oppression and liberty and Oppression Journal in the factory (Journal d’ousine) factory inthe Journal The supernatural knowledge (La connaissance The supernaturalknowledge NewYork: sons, 1952 Putnam’s New York: HarperCollinsBooks, NewYork: . London: Routledge Classics, 2001 . London: Routledge Classics, London: Routledge Group , London: Routledge . Paris: 81