EGOTORIAL
You mayhave noticed that this issueol Anowsof Desireappears three years late. This is not a record. We therefore break format somewhat to offer the following: Apologiesare due to this issue'scontributors for subjectingtheir materialto so muchentropy. Whilst inherentlyunfair to mentionpartiarlar names (but let's face it, who cares?),AOD offers best wishes to contributorMichael Abbott for the successof his involvementwith the Attitudeproject'. We would also like to pointout that potentialreviewers and criticsmay rest up for a while, since Paul Di Filippohas filled every available position. Special apologiesto GrahamJoyce who already contributedto AOD #7 (BloodyForeignersf some time ago.His pieceon the Greekswill indeedappear there.
Arrowsof Desirepublishing history: #1 November1988 (Gen) #2 May1989 (The Rock'n' RollSfonbs) #3 November1989 (Love,Lust and Like) H April1990 (Hate,Fear and Loathing) #5 November1990 (Death) #5112 April1991 (Commenfson #5, rcsponsearticle)
#6 November1994 (Religion)
#7 Secondqtr 1995 (BloodyForeigners!) #8 Fourthqtr 1995 (Tobe announcedin#7 -tryto guessl Backissues are not cunentlyin print;this doesnot precluderequests for them which, if sufficientin number,will be dealt with sympathetically.A possibilityunder consideration is an omnibusreprint. Opinions welcomed.
the Attitudefanzine is editedand publishedby MichaelAbbott, John Dallmanand Pam Wells. Available for the usual from Flat 4, 27 Tenont Road, London N15 3AA, UK ([email protected]).Recommended.
ARROI/YS OF DESIRE 6: REUGION CONTENTS -
2 EGOTORIAL 3 CONTENTS 4 HEARTTRANSPLANT S V O'Jay 5 DEATH,RELIGION AND CONSOLATION KenLaKe 9 BUDDHISM 1O ROMANCATHOLICS ANONYMOUS 11 TANGLE DavidLangford 12 ADHERENTSOF RELTGTONSWORLD) 13 HINDUISM 14 THATOLD.TIME RELIGION MichaelAbbott 17 GOD'SJUKEBOX 18 THE RAWBRAIN DF Lewis 20 GODS lan Creasey 21 CONSIDER... NinaWatson 22 ISLAM 23 DANGER:RELIGION. AN SF CHECKLIST SteveJeffery 24 JOKE 25 CATHOLICFACTS 26 ME TALKINGRUBBISH BarryJ Bayley 29 GETRELIGION AT THEMOVIES 31 JUDAISM 32 THETEN COMMANDMENTS 33 VIRTUALJESUS S V O,Jay 36 GODAND ME HazBond 39 POEM CecilNurse 40 LOCOCITATO The Readership 54 CONTRIBUTORS 55 AND FINALLY...
Listings,factual pieces and "Joke"compiled by S V O'Jay;miscellaneous quotes compiledby Steve Jeffery and S V O'Jay; And Finally...supplied by Steve Jeffery. CoverArt BruceBenedickter Interiorart: Black Flag: Cacey Goff Chile (p8), Sididis (p16), Mary Goff Wannabe(p35)
ARROTYSAF DESIRE6: RELIGION HEARTTRANSPLANT S V O'Jav
...feltit was one to dealwith in the "usual"fashion, that is, omefta,but in the personalsense. Nobody should know. Well, not nobodyas such, in the Oxford senseof the word, but more realisticallyin a damagelimitation way. The less they know.The better.For all of us. Me. What changed?Later for that, but l'll point out that it seemedand seems strangethat a sharedbed couldbe so sexlessfor so long.They knew,really. A lot of other thingscould have taken excusestatus very easily,especially when the cynic has it that you're trying to deal with a fake Scousefrom Notlob (as Montywould say - or havesaid, Graham). "Do you believein a love at first sight?";'Yes, l'm certainit happensall the time";"What do you see when you tum out the light?'; darkness,ac{ually. The long riders of the imaginationassenting to apportionsomething other than a physicalexplanation to the astigmatically-enhancedpoints of light behindclosed blueeyes. We don'tget fooledagain. Are you out there, then? ls there really somethingemotional, spritual, phvsicalabout the acceptanceof the chalice,the wafer,the body, the blood? Transubstantiationof the elestricalzap pathwaysof axons into somethinglife- enhancing,lifedirecting. lt worked. 'M/hat's it like to be the most beautiful womanin the room?".'M/hen I see her, l'll ask her." Symptomor result?Remembering times past when the organisationalskill of othersovertook the real need.Bay of Pigs. Dallas.Brighton (own goal). Ready for this, perhaps,or just anotherescape clause. Please read the small print on your lackof insurance.There are no guarantees,there is no altemative. The cost in friendshipswould tend to be high, especiallyafter so long. But, well, fuck, if they'reso easilybroken (selfish again) what were they worth?The rightstuff is gonnaendure, right? (Actually, yes.) I told myselfeverything was takencare of as I got on the plane.lt had to be, didn'tit? The Churchof Spirithad failedme enoughnot to be worthmissing, the Churchof the PoisonMind left behind(or so it was hoped);all sacrificedon the altarof Churchof Self? Adequateflight, it got us there.Time willtell, it alwaysdoes.
And in Arcadia1....
ARROT/YSOF DESTRE6: REUGION DEATH.RELIGION & CONSOLATION Ken Lake
Let's start with a very brief commenton AOD #5, writtenunusually before I have even read it! This summer (1990) | spent a lot of time undergoing manipulationof my neck, only to be told that it is falling apart. The bones are degenerating,already I have"the neck of an eighty-year-old",and I am unlikely to see this decadeout. Suddenly,death looms: l'm nevergoing to do mostof the things I want, osteo-arthritisalready stops me from enjoyingsome of them,and penuryhardly helps. Do I reallywant to readwhat peoplenot faced by the immediateand certain threat of death have to say about it? \A/hatdoes it mean to me? And does the declaredtheme of AOD #6, Religion,actually have anythingto say to me or indeedto do with life,death or anythingelse useful? To me, death means simply waste: there's a helluva lot of shitstining antagonismto receivedideas lurking in Ken Lake'smind waiting for time to get out; there's a lot of useful information,and nearly sixty years of meaningful experiencewaiting to be shared.And beforeyou can do more than skim the surface,the bodyand the brainare to decayand be lostforever. Waste indeed! Don't bug me with sentiment I've no room for it. Sure, I enjoy good experiences,I gain emotionaland aestheticpleasure from some of them. But what kind of pleasurableemotion do you expectme to radiatenoW'? | mean,be fair - intellect, ratiocination,philosophy even; investigation,extrapolation, wonderment,these are still around,being triggered all the time. l'm willing and readyto give and take love,on a one-to-onebasis anyhow, but I am too full of angerto be capableof lovingthe world,its people- mostof whomare so fuckin' ignorant,bigoted and stupidthat I have no sympathyfor them - or even specific nations,tribes, groups or selfdeclaredcategories like fandom,lesbians, stamp collectorsor poll tax protestors. Do peoplethreatened by deathtum to religion?| dunno- I'm the Odd Man Out becausereligion has alwaysfascinated me an) I've marchedwith the SallyArmy, studied with the Witnesses,argued with ^ray. the Mormons (a singularly stupidgroup), been boredby the Bookof CommonPrayer, gloried in the poetry of the Upanishads,been repelled by the Koran,wondered at the TibetanBook of the Dead,and manya timeand oft lost myselfin the celebrationof the Mass,the central"mystery" of Christianity. For severaldecades l've taken the opportunityoccasionally to attend the Ukranian Uniat liturgy - this is basicallythe Russian Orthodoxone with a Ukranianaccent plus prayersfor the Pope, more recentlybeing celebratedin modern Ukranian rather than Old Slavonic, so l've had to learn another languageto sing along. I sometimesattend the RussianOrthodox Gathedral, and l'm a memberof the LatinMass Society $'trich celebrates the old Tridentine rite ratherthan that boringpopulist modem post-Vatican ll service. Just recentlyl've rediscoveredthe ArmenianChurch and, with the help of a liturgygiven me by AvedonCarol's parents, l'm leamingto sing in that obscure languagethe many beautifulchants of this even more obscureyet pioneering church.So l'm spoiledfor choice,if religiousexperien@s are wfratI seek.
ARROWSOF DESIRE6: REUGION DEATH.RELIGION AND CONSOLANON KEN LAKE
Why shouldI wantthem? Do I believein God,in the Godheadof Jesus,in the dogmasof the Catholicor any otherFaith? Do I supportthe Catholicswith their celibateclergy, the Orthodoxwhere all priestsare maniedbut all bishops celibate(coming from the monasteries),or the Armenianswho feel it's up to eachpriest to makeup his ownmind? Do I believein the infallibilityof the Pope, the collegialityof the Orthodoxmetropolitans or the separatenessthe Armenians claimamong their greatest gifts? Do I care? At varyingtimes in the past,all these - and hundredsof other - theological problemsand conceptshave grasped my attention.l've read this and that, studiedthis and that,asked the rightand wrongquestions and been givensome very dodgy answers.Why should religion be trammeledwith all these complexitiesanyway? Thereare two separateways of lookingat religion.Some see it as "the Word of God" settingout specificpattems which must be followed,specific dogmas whichmust be believed,with the threatof etemaldamnation - or at leasta nasty time in Purgatory- if you can't bring yourselfto swallowprecisely this yeafs versionof this sect's beliefs and practices.That side of religion has caused probablymore wars, deaths,tortures, unhappinesses and the destructionof more livesand soulsthan anythingelse in this world,and l've cometo feel that even if any one set of beliefsis correct,and even if someGod has actuallylaid themdown, we are betteroff ignoringthem. That may sound harsh:who am I to throw out the produc{of the love, the devotion,the researchand studyand dedicationof millionsof wonderfulpeople? My only answerhas to be that it's the sameguy who rejectsthe end productof more millions of bigoted, brutal, ignorant, power-hungry,primitive and contemptiblepeople who havepropagated these same teachings over the same centuries.Pick where you will, religiousmankind has not shownitself notably morecivilised, altruistic, kind, sensible or understandingthan pagan mankind. The secondway of lookingat religionis self-centred:what can I get out of this thatwill please,help, console, reassure me? The peacethat overtakesthe contemplativemonk or nun at meditation- be theyCatholic or Buddhist- is just one example.For me, eversince I managedto get on the samewavelength as the Catholicand OrthodoxFaiths, it has been the actualcelebration of their liturgies- the singing,the act of offering,the sheer majestyand warmthand inevitabilityand glory of the ritual,that has been the realattraction. Mostpeople in this centurywill find that incomprehensible.So be it. I know I'mno wackierthan you andyou, and l'm probablya lot sanerthan you, ducky, but that's not the point. What mattersis that while you get your kicks from champagne,other noxious substances, sex, companionship, SF, fandomor any other art form, to most of those I can add the consolationsof religion in the simplesense of beingthere, participating, singing (especially the olderand more primitivechants - certainlynot the self-conscioushymns of the more modem sects!),and comingout at the end with a crowdof other people,some of whom may also have been giventhe ultimatepleasure of participationat the same levelI occasionallyachieve.
ARROT'YSOF DESIRE 6; RELIGIOIV DEATH, RELIGIONAND CONSOLANON KEN LAKE
But,you ask, how can you do this,be there,watclr all this, sing or say these words,if you don'tbelieve a wordof it? | supposeI couldask you why you watcfr movies, read novels, participatein anythingv/hich you know to be untrue, unreal,invented; my answerhas be be that regardlessof my abilityto believe, those who createdthe liturgycertainly did, and they wroughtsomething that givesme my greatestpleasure today, and don'tknock it, bub. What, then, if anything,do I believeabout what happensafter death?With the vast range of reports,many of them of considerablescientific strictness, about "neardeath"(by which they really mean"afterdeath") experiences, how can you ask? The real pointabout all thesereports is not their occasionaldivergences but the remarkable- unbelieveable- degree of similarityin the experiencesthat people recount.The way one's consciousnessdrifts away from the body and looks down on it, then zoomsupward into a tunnelthat extendsbeyond sight, comingout into an environmentwhere people one once knewwait to welcome: all these are standardfurniture in virtuallyevery report.Sure, there are a very few who have comeback to claimwith horrorthat they were "in hell" - all I can do is hope that I shall not be one of those! | confessI take comfortfrom the discoverythat thosewho returnto talk of hell tum out to be no worse,morally or ethically, than those who have experiencedthe ongoing existence of the majority:it maybe thatthe "hell"experiences are self-induced. To be honest,I am temptedto say that I couldnever accept the existenceof any God who condemnedanyone to perpetual torture, or darkness, or separationfrom the rest of mankind,on the basis of deeds enactedduring a short,brutal life such as almostall of us experience.The total wiping out of a truly evil "soul" (whateverthat word means)might be acceptable,but the story we get from almosteveryone is that one's life unrollsbefore one, one comesto termswith it, and on arrivalat the end of the tunnelthere is no mentionof this sin or thatgood deed. One can honestlyonly assume that suchthings pale into insignificancefor a disembodiedidentity faced with a timelessexistence where thewords "period" or'future" become meaningless. To summarise,then: I haveto face the conceptof deathin the nearfuture; I gaingreat comfort and joy frommy kindof religiousobservance, and I reposemy faith in NDEreports and the realisationthat if they are all fancifulimaginings, I am goingto be deadand unaware that l've been misled. It'sjust that I'd soonerbe able to feel I couldget a whole lot moreenjoyment out of my remainingtime than I can foreseebeing my lot. Sparea prayeror a thought- evenyou mayhelp me get moreout of the fag-endof my life!
ARROT/YSOFDES,RE 6: RELIGION F 2 CI U
{I ) v? LJ rl-z rnAJ\ n /ti 0l l
wto 0fiff85olsERy LorlE Ar{Dnuos Tt|E Fonmor DEATu.,nilclN DE5TN\TTION6DNICE o.ooo To rnEo rne crcrnlhrfftEs, i -. ----.'---r---.-- BUDDHISM
Founded: About 525 BC, reportedlynear Benares, India, by Gautama Siddhartha(ca. 563 - 480),the Buddha.
Sacred texts: The Tripitaka,a collectionof the Buddha'steachings, rules of monasticlife, and philosophicalcommentaries on the teachings;also a vast body of Buddhistteactrings and commentaries,many of \i'hich are called sufras.
Organization:The basicinstitution is the sanghaor monasticorder through whiclr the traditionsare passedto each generation.Monastic life tends to be democraticand anti-authoritarian.Large lay organizationshave developedin somesects.
Practice: Varies widely accordingto the sec{ and ranges from austere meditationto magicalchanting and elaboratetemple rites. Many practices, such as exorcismof devils,reflect pre-Buddhist beliefs.
Divisions: A wide variety of sects grouped into 3 primary branches: Therevada(sole survivor of the ancient Hinayanascfrools) wl'rich emphasises the importanceof pure thought and deed; Mahayana,wfrich includes Zen and Soka-gakkai,ranges from philosophicalschools to belief in the savinggrace of higher beings or ritual practices, and to pradical meditative disciplines; Tantism, an unusualcombination of belief in ritual magic and sophisticated philosophy.
Location: ThroughoutAsia, from Ceylon to Japan. Zen and Sokagakkai haveseveral thousand adherents in the U.S.
Beliefs: Life is miseryand decay,and there is no ultimatereality in it or behindit. The cycleof endlessbirth and rebirthcontinues because of desireand attachmentto the unreal"self'. Right meditationand deeds will end the cycle andachieve Nirvana, the Void, nothingness.
[Source:World Nmanacl
ARROI'VSOF DESTRE6: REUGION ROMANCATHOLICS ANONYMOUS
Programslike AlocholicsAnonymous, Overeaters Anonymous and SexaholicsAnonymous have helpedmillions of peoplewith real problems.The recoverysyndrome has sweptthe nation,and Catholicsare not immuneto its appeal.In fact,there is now a program,Rornan Catholics Anonymous, designed specificallyfor peoplewfro are tryingto "get ove/' beingCatholic. Catholics join this programfor five reasons:guilt, fear, shame, shame and moreshame. At their meetings,Recovering Catholics let loose with the truth about the traumas that have fouled up their lives. One R.C. is convinced that his punishmentfor putting the plastic poo-poo on Sister Renunciata'schair condemnedhim to life as an orderlyin a nursinghome. Another confesses that he used to try and drop his pencilso he could try to look up Sister Inviolata's habit.He is so ashamedof his behaviourthat he can no longerhave sex. These and other injusticeshave led the Catholicsin RCA to feel that they must rejecttheir faith entirely.Nevertheless, we suspectthat most of them will stillwant a priestwhen it comestime to meettheir HigherPower.
THINGSCATHOLICS ARE AFRAID OF: 1. Sex 2. Smalldarkrooms 3. The colourblack 4. Authority 5. Standingup to authority 6. Liningup 7. Hell 8. Beingtoo lenientwith their children 9. Doinganything Yvrong THINGSCATHOLICS ARE GUILTY ABOUT: 1. Sex 2. Cheatingat solitaire 3. Tellingwhite lies 4. Usingthe officecopy machinefor personalbusiness 5. BuyingCampbell's soup with a Lipton'scoupon 6. Parkingat a brokenmeter 7. Jaywalking E. Beingtoo stristwith their children 9. Refusingto ans-werthedoor forthe Jehovah'sWtnesses THINGSCATHOLICS ARE ASHAMED OF: 1. Sex 2. Theirbodies 3. Otherpeople's bodies 4. Watchinggl2Weeks at homealone 5. Wantingto get rich 6. Gettingrich 7. Theirthoughts E. Theirwords L Theirdeeds
[From Still CatholicAfter AllTheseYears, by Meara,Stone, Kelly & Davisl
ARROT/YSOF DES,RE6: REUGION 10 TANGLE David Lanqford
Fromthe very beginningI had only good intentions.People seemed unable to cometo termswith that tenibleunknown blackness after the end of life, and I wasfull of sympathy. Of courseI knewnothing about it either,but I inventeda cosy tale to comfort others.Even when you're dead, I lied,you will foreverbe lookedafter, and there willforeverbe a "you"to be lookedafter. Yes,yes, by sheerchance this mightcoincide with the truth;but comingfrom me (whoneither knew nor believedit) it was a lie. I added flourishes:ringing rhetoricalassertions, ciranlar argumentsand special pleading.Really, all these literaryfrills were unnecessary.People wantedso muchto believe.The good newsspread. They were comfortedand I was pleased,for a while. The first argumentarose over a minor point I had somehowneglecled. (l think it had to do with whethermy story impliedan infinite,forgotten "beforelife" $/hichpreceded birth, to complementwhat followed death.) The believerssettled it as believerswill, not very conclusively, at a costof threemillion lives. I rewrotethe scripturesto eliminateany possibledispute, but unfortunately the debate betweenthose who acceptedthe new word and those who prefened the old was never quite resolved.Another six hundredthousand martyrs were made,or infidelsslain. Again and again I struggledto clarify the messageof simple,unadorned comfort, with an addedsuggestion that peoplebe kindto one another.Once, a quarterof a millionenthusiasts died for a misprint. By this timethere were upwardsof nine hundredsects, each clingingfiercely to some distortedfragment of my originalfistion. Many had added bits of their own,with which I almostinvariably disagreed. Many settleddown and gave up the sword,which lookedpromising until I noticedhow, with few exceptions,they usedtheir doctrine to justifysubtler cruelties. One large cult now insists that people with hair of a certain colour are unclean,unfit to sharefood or to read out my little message.Another puts so muchfaith in its versionof the text that sick clrildrenare left to die if the words alonedo not heal them.Almost every sect has developedits own extraordinary and offensivenotions about women What can I say to these priesthoods?Having first unleashedthe idea that it is wise and goodto believea messagewhich is supportedby no evidenceat all but which cheers the believer, I cannot logically challenge the equally unsupporteddogmas that theyfind soothingand | find monstrous. As I said,from the beginningI had only good intentions.I wish I could stop hearingthe naggingmoralistic voice v/hich wfrispers that in the long run, nothing but evil can resultfrom the mostcomforting lie.
ARRO}YSOF DESIRE6: REUGION 11 ADHERENTSOF RELIGIONS(WORLD). Mid-1991
Christians 1,7E3,660,000 RornanCatPlios 1,0r0,352,@ Ptttcsialds 308"4,m Oilhodox 168,683,m Anglicans 78,els,40 OtherCil**bm 16a580,ru Moslems 950,726,000 Nonreligious EE4,46E,000 Hindus 719,269,000 Buddhists 309,127,000 Atheists 236,E09,000 Chinesefolk religionists 183,646,000 New Religionists 140,779,000 Tribal religionists 93,996,000 Sikhs 1E,460,500 Jews 17,615,000 Shamanisls 10,302,000 Confucians 5,917,000 Baha'is 5,402,000 Jains 3,724,OO0 Shintoists 3,162,800 Otherrcligionists 1E26E,000 Total Population 5,3E5,330,300 [Sourcc:1992 Et cy&pacda <anrlca &ol< dtln Yorlfl Perccntageof adherentses Fil of rwotldpopntilion: Chft0ans, 3.1; Rqnan Cdlollcs, lE.E; Pntcctails, 6.8; tlclem, 17.7;Nonreligirxrs, t6.4; Hindus,13.4: BuddhisG,5.7; Atttobtr,4.4; Jerw,0.3. Adherents: As defined and enumeratedfor eacfi of the world's countdesin World Ctvistian Encydopaedia(1982), projecied to mid-1991.adjusiled for recentdata. Ghristians: Followersof JesusChrist affiliated to churches(church members, including children: 1,65E,149,700)plus persons professing in censusesor in pollsthough not so affiliated. Other Ghristians: Catholics (non-Roman), marginal Protestants, crypto-Christians,and adherentsof African,Asian, black and Latin-Amedcanindigenous churches. Muslims: E3o6Sunnites, 1606 Shiites, 1% othersctrools. The definitionexcludes former ethnic Muslimswho havenow abandoned lslam, also followers of syncresticreligions combining lslam with other belief syslems. In the US, I recent detailed suruey shoved that most Asian immigrantspreviously thought to be Muslimswere nowin fad Chdsilians. Hindus:70olo Vaishnavites, 25% Shaivites,2oh neo-Hindus and reform Hindus. Buddhists:56% Mahayana, 38% Thenvada,6% Tantrayana. Atheists: Personsprofessing atheism, skepticism, disbelief, or ineligion,including anti-religious (opposedto all religion). Chinese folk religionists: Followersof traditionalChinese rcligion (local deities,ancestor veneration,Confucian ethics, Taoism, universism, divination, some Buddhist elements) New-Religionists:Followers of Asian2Oth-century New Religions,New Religiousmovements, radicalnew crisis religions,and non-Christiansyncresiic mass religions,all foundedsince 1E00 andmostly since 1945. Jews: 84% Ashkenazis,10% Orientals,4% Sephardis.The difinitionincludes nonpraclicing Jews,underground Jews, and crypto-Jewsin Muslimcountries. Gonfucians: Non-Chinesefollowers of Confuciusend Confucianism,mostly Koreans in Korea. Other religionists: Including50 minorworld religions and a largenumber of spiritistreligions, NewAge religions,quasi-religions, pseudoreligions, parareligions, religious or mysticsysilems, religiousand semireligious brotherhoods of numercusvarieties. Total Population: UN rnediumnrbnt figuresfor mk*"l$l, as givonh Wotd Porylafon PtoSprc6, t99O (Nfl Yortr UN, 1991).[General Source: The Wodd Nmanac, 199t1
ARROYTISOF DESIRE6: REUGION 12 HINDUISM
Founded: ca. 1500 BC by Aryan invadersof India nfiere their Vedic religion intermixedwith the pradices and beliefsof the natives.
' Sacred te:rts: The Veda,including the Upaasiads, a collecfionof ritualsand mythologicaland philosophicalcommEntaries; a vast number of epic stories about gods, heroes and saints, including the thagavadgita, a part of the Mahabhanfa, and the Ramayanai and a great variety of other litErature.
Organization: None, strictly speaking. Generally, rituals should be performedor assisted by Brahmins,the priestly caste, but in practice simpler rituals can be performedby anyone. Brahmins arc the final judges of ritual purity, the vital element in Hindu life. Temples and religious organizationsare usuallypresided over by Brahmins.
Practice: A variety of private rituals, primarilypassage rites (e.9. initiation, maniage, death) and daily devotions,and a similar variety of public rites in tempfes. Of the latter, the puja, a oeremonialdinner for a god, is the most @mmon.
Divisions: There is no conceptof orthodoxyin Hinduism,wfrictr presentsa bewilderingvariety of secis, most of them devotedto the worship of one of the many gods. The 3 major living traditionsare thosE devotedto the gods Vishnu and Shiva and to the goddess Shakti, each of them clividedinto further sub' sects. Numerousfolk beliEfes and practices, ofren in amalgamationwith thE above groups, exist side by side with sophisticatedphilosophical scfrools and exoticcults.
Location: MainlyIndia, Nepal, Malaysia, Guyana, Surinam, Sri Lanka.
Beliefs: There is only one divine principle;the many gods are only aspects of that unity. Life in all its forms is an aspect of the divine, but it appears as a separationfrom the divine, a meaninglesssycle of birth and rebirth (samsara) determinedby the purity or impurityof past deeds (karmal. To improve one's karma or escape samsaraby pure ac{s, thought,and/or devotion is the aim of everyHindu.
[Source: The Wodd Nananacl
All religionshave been made by men. (NapoleonBonapafte)
ARRO}I6 OF DES,RE6: REUGION 13 THATOLD-TIIVIE RELIGION MichaelAbbott
Not God'sOwn Truth, but the nearestI can get to it nowadays.
Religion.I rememberit well. I usedto haveit, and I usedto have it real good. I rememberquite a few occasionsas a student making an idiot of myself explainingmy views,urging them on othersfor their own happiness.Though in faimessto religion,in thosedays I madea fool of myselfin manyother ways as well. Then I went throughupheavals in my life, startingwith collegefinals. That was followedby eightmonths unemployment, moving to a newtown to get a job, and having to cope with a steadyworking week for the first time, getting up earlierthan I ever had before.At the end of all this, my life more stablethan it had beensince I left home,I had timeto think lwent to Churchlocally once, but four monthslater I realisedI was no longera Christian.I had lost my faith. This saddenedme: previously,for reasonsconvincing to me, I had believed in God,and in heavenas well. I was raisedin the C of E and enjoyedits lack of dogma:the samething that atheistsand Catholicscall wishy-washiness.lt gave me the freedomand encouragementto think,leading to a religiousview lfound morallyacceptable and compatiblewith my scientificknowldege. lt was this somewhatindividual view of religion that I discussedwith my friends as a student,enjoying defending my consistentviews against their equallyconsistent positions.Now, I ran thosesame arguments over in my own mind and satisfied myselfthat they were indeedconsistent; but there was still a central element missingin my own mind v/hichmeant I was unconvinced.My cosmologywas strong on forgivenessand love, weak on even temporarydamnation, very tolerantof other faiths, and I had believedthat God loved us all and would perpetuateour souls indefinitelyin some pleasurableetemity that He, being omniscient,would knowhow to arange. Now this idealwas gone, and I was certainlysaddened. Wouldn't you be? | spentsome time beingdepressed about this, learningto face up to the likelihoodof my own personalextinc{ion, not somethingI found at all appealing.Gradually I becameused to it, but spent a whileentertaining some pretty strange ideas about the universewhile I adjusted. What had happened?| hadn'tbeen struckby a blindingdark on the road to Boumemouth.In retrospect,I could see that it had been creepingup on me graduallyfor sometime: doubts, uncertainties, and a few difficultquestions. Only when I had a settledlife and a chanceto think aboutthings did all these come bubblingto the surfaceof my mind,and their combinedforce pushedme a long way overthe edgeinto agnosticism.I still don'tknow why. I still can'tsay "l'm not a Christianbecause X"; it's somethingthat happenedat an unconsciouslevel of myselfthat told my consciousmind about it wtrenit was all safelyover. A bit like fallingout of love: you know it's happened,but you certainlycan't pick out any one featureor personalitytrait of your lovedone that madeyou do it. Perhapsit just meansthat I lost the studentarguments I had with my friends.I remember one exception,though: someone who triedto cut off a discussionby saying"No- one'sever beenconvinced about anything religious ftom discussionslike these, so the wholething's a wasteof time".I guessI provedhm wrong.
ARROTYSOF DES,RE6: REUGION 14 THAT OLD.NME RELIGION MCIIAEL AEEOTT Maybe it was the priests I know wfro didn't live up to my (quite modest) ideals.At collegechapel, there usedto be a crossabove the altar. lt was plain, but said somethingabout the centralmiracle of the religion.One day I went to a serviceand it had gone.ln its placewas a largepainting of a manwalking up a hill; very pleasant,but I didn'tsee wfratit was therefor. Duringthe notices,one of the chaplains explained that they were trying this painting out as an experimentalchange, and wouldwe pleaselet themknow what we thoughtof it, as theyvalued our input.He alsonamed the picture.I forgetwhat it was, but I do rememberit wasn'tremotely religious in subjec{.So afterthe serviceI went up to him and said that I thoughtit was a pleasantpainting but had nothingto do with Christianity,and felt that it shouldn'tbe the centrepieceof a chapel.He thanked me for giving him my first reactionand asked me to give the paintinga while longerand then let him knowwhat I thoughtof it. In otherwords, they had made up their mindsand were only consultingus to get peopleto agreewith them. I could have put up with the picture,but not the hypocrisy;I neverwent to another serviceat that place. There was also my parents'parish priest,who was insufferablysuperior from the word go ("Of course,I could lose you all in theologyvery guicklyhere..."), but redeemedhimself by runningof with a maniedwoman in the parish.All he got for his troubleswere two column inches and a passportphoto in the Daily Mail. These may be interestinganecdotes (or not), but I certainlydon't see them makinga differenceto me. For two thousandyears Christianity has beenfiltered throughthe mindsof falliblemen, and I wasn'treally surprised to find two more beingimperfect. I didn'ttell my parentsabout my loss of faith for someyears. They are both Christians,and I knewthey would be saddenedon my behalffor the samesort of reasonthat mademe sorry- the traditionalconsolation of religion.Whenever I visitedthem I dutifulltwent along to the parishchurch and apologisedto Godfor my hypocrisytowards him, pointingout that it was only done for the sake of people I care for. Yes, I know that's being silly, but I was never convincedof God'snon-existence either, and alwaysthought I shouldbe politeto Him. But I still felt rathersick of doingthis lie. One weekend,I took advantageof a slight cold in orderto stay awayfrom church.My father,just aboutto leave,asked me "lt is just becauseof the coldyou're staying here, isn't it Michael?" I couldn'tgive him a direc{lie, and part of me had beenlooking for an excuse to end the sham."Well, not entirely",I mumbled,"l'm afraid l'm also not sure I reallybelieve in God any more."lwaited for somekind of surprisereaction, but it didn'tcome. He just noddedunderstandingly, said "Don'ttell your mother.She'd be distressed",and went out the door. On top of everythingelse I don't know, now I haveto wonderwhen my father lost his faith,and howhe copedwith it. So here I am today. Do I believein God? Well, I'm no atheist,but I never regained any kind of faith. Although,six months after I realised I wasn't a Christian,I noticedsomething about the world. lt was changingvery fast, in all kindsof trouble,seemed not far fromnuclear u/ar and had a lot of environmental
ARROYYSOF DES,RE6: REUGiON 15 disasterslooming on the nearhorizon. lt would,I decided,take a miracleto save it. lf it lasteda hundredyears it would almostcertainly be due to the influence of some deity watchingover it. So, here is an open invitation:if we are all still around, you are invited to a party in Easter 2087 to celebratemy becoming a Christian (of sorts) again. Major ecologicaldisasters will preclude this invitation.lf that soundsbizane, then let it be noted for the record that I think we've made it through the last four years(to 1991)anyray. Until then? There are two kinds of God that I can postulate.The first is quite a Christiangod. He (or she) cries a lot, weeping over the hard his creationscome to in his world,enacting upon one another, and reminding himselfof the need to forge their souls and let them know the importanceof choices. God the blacksmith and teacher.The secondkind laughsa lot. He's fond of us, but not in any deep sense. The first of these I could love; the secondscares me. No,I don'tbelieve in eitherof them.I don'thave faith any more.All I have is hope. ,\ Ti (l7 L \'.t
4- t\il
ARROT/YSOF DES,RE6: REUGION , I GOD'SJUKEBOX
God Only KnowsThe BeachBoys LikeA PrayerMadonna SaveA Prayer DuranDuran SatelliteThe Hooters Jesus He Knows llfe Genesis Devil lnside INXS BornAgain Piss Tank KevinBloody Wilson MessiahHandel Mass in E MinorBruckner Sympathyforthe Devil The RollingStones SacrificeElton John Garden of Earthly Delights XTC Where to Now St. Peter? EltonJohn The Devil'sRight Hand SteveEarle The Devil WentDown to Georgia(l & ll) CharlieDaniels Band Me and the Devil Blues RobertJohnson PromisedLand JohnnieAllan Honky Tonk Angels DollyParton ParadiseThe Stranglers Bat Out of Hell Meatloaf Oscarthe Angel RandyTravis God's Comic ElvisCostello PersonalJesus DepecheMode Sin StoneTemple Pilots God Don't NeverChange Blind Willie Johnson Stairwayto HeavenLed Zeppelin Jesus is Jusf AII RightWith Me DoobieBrothers Three Sfeps to HeavenShowaddylvaddy My SweetLord GeorgeHarrison Rock'n' RollHeaven Righteous Brothers Highway to Hell AC/DC Running With the Devil Van Halen Crying in the ChapelElvis Presley God Bless Texas LittleTexas
ARROT4/SOFDES,RE 6: RELIGION 17 THE RAW BRAIN DF Lewis
'There,there", said the teacher, putting on the agony, putting on the style, as she stared in mock antagonismat the uptumeddesklids. "Questions are ofien theirown answers",she addedwith a twirlof chalk. One classmate,by the nameldle \A/hite,grimaced stage-off. There she goes again,he thought,putting nonsense into words,giving it a false credibility.He did not really think such things consciously.With him, nothingseemed to get beyondthe verses of Rock lslandLine and Tom Dooley$/hich were part of the doubtmatrix of his childhood.He was Fun Guy,and hopedhe wouldnever have to growup beyondthe break-evenpoint. He had wantedto startup a singinggroup called Weirdmonger - a makeshift folk ensemblewith broom-polesand honky-tonks.His teachercould do with a dose of that to keep her sane,he considered,as he put up his hand to inform her that what she'sjust writtenon the boardwas a lie - "God is One and God is Three".In any event,she wouldrub it off with one of thosefelt pads by the end of the lesson.He alwaysthought this was a mathslesson anlmray. "l knou/',she replied,"but out God is in ALL things,even mathematics." ldle Whitehad his own God- wlrowas simplycalled Dog. ldle, in fact, liked lookingat things from variousangles. He searchedhis Granddad'sothenrise incomprehensibleold books, studied human behaviour throughthe mediumof brat eyes,threw dice to determinelife's paths, collated instinstivelythe dataof the multimediaand encapsulatedall finallyinto his vision of Dog. The creaturegrew upon this laystallof randomthoughts, its roots showing like fibrouslyknotted circus stilts. lts colourwas so sky-bluethat, duringthose endlesslyhot summersof ldle'schildhood, Dog was moreoften than not invisible againstits own background.But ldle knewit was there,walking with tree trunks- the naggingyaps sounding from the deepwideblue well above. ldle sat in a doubledesk at the backof the formroom,next to a girl he wanted o so badlyto want him.But as yet neitherhad spokento the other. The tousled heads of the class in front of him were sunk deep into their cavernousdesks, riffling textbooks,seeking out the clrewinggumwfrich was once, in the forgottenpast, stuck in place to hide the embarassinglove-knot graffiti; crooningsongs they'd learnt from their parents' compilationre@rds, concealingtheir faces so that the mathsteacher could not ask them questions on the Natureof Number. The girl was studiouslycopying from the board, as ldle gazed throughthe grimywindow upon the playground(arcanely diagrammatised with white-painted lines for gamesnow never played).The sun made it seem as if the concrete werewet. He smiledas he saw,silhouetted against the town'shumping hills, the imperceptibleshift of tree-trunks.The leading pair must be the stilts bearing Dog, but what of the others?Everybody must have their own particulardeity, ratherthan there just being One for all, ldleWhite said almost out loud.Perhaps, afterall, religionDID have something to do withmathematics. ldle scratchedhis headin thought-acting...and nearly got through to the rawbrain.
ARROYYSOF DES,RE 6: REUGION 1E THE RAW BRAIN DF LEWIS The girl looked at him quizzically.lt appearedshe's heard some words rattlingat the backof his throat.She smiled. He triedto smileback. "Wouldyou like to cometo the nert Weirdmongergig?", he finally managed to ask. "ldle White!".The teacherwas staringstemly. "l hope you'regetting on with yoursums and not broodingin the bosomof Abraham." He put his hand up like a smartarse, to tell her that there was more to life than sums,but by now she's startedto rub with vigour at the board,clouds of chalkdustbillowing like the dry ice often used by HeavlyRock groups.Many of the other pupilswere bangingtheir desklidsup and down as if they, too, had musicalaspirations. ldle was pleasedto see that the horizonwas now perfectlyempty. Dog was of coursedescending the hill to play with him at breaktime.The netball posts would becomeits wide stance- the unbrokenblue of the sky still its Mystery, forgingno outlinefor thosewith too littlefaith to traceout upontheir tissue-paper minds. As the bell went, Fun Guy cameout in ldle, and he dashedoff to the Boys' outhouse,a heady cocktailof sweat and piss hangingin the air in hot yellow clouds.He managedto hit the highwindow with his pent-upkidney tap. Perhaps that girf he fanciedwould like to becomea Weirdmongergroupie, moonshot and dewy-eyed.He neednot tell her thatthe group,so-called, was indeeda one man bandwith harmonicaand knee-cymbals. The sun shatteredhis eyesightas he quit the sanctuaryof the Boys'. Dog hoveredabove on its stilts, unseen,unheard, but ever-vigilantof ldle's well- being. ldle wonderedwhether the Girls' outhousewas as equally niffy as the Boys',so he ambledover to that entrance,testing the air with enlargingnostrils. Then THAT girl walked out, still tugging up her knickers,he noticedfor one gloriousfleeting moment. "Well,would you liketo cometo my concert?" "Nope.",and she stalkedoff to play rhyming,slanging skipping games with hercronies by the netballpost. Tearsfilling his eyeswith swellingmulti-faceted jewels of light,he searched the sky for Dog.The raw brainextruded from ldle'srevolving ear like a leash,as Dog exercisedhim aroundthe schoolyard- the filamentsof cheesy-pizzagrey matter being tugged as Man and Master went walkies at either end of a perpetuatingchoke-chain of mentalectoplasm. Nobodysaw the connection,as the skywas cloudingover for once. Sky-blueDog on stiltswould soon be visiblefor thosewho had eyesto see it. ldle White smiledas he pulledat his own frayedinchwide of a stripedschooltie and took himself into the classroomto to some extracunicularwork on the mathematicalundercurrents of Destiny. He felt the weightof his headupon the neckand was relievedthat it was still relativelyfull up. Likemost kids, his brainbenefitted from a goodairing at playtimeand he was noweager to absorball the knowledgeof the Universe.
ARROWS OF DESIRE6: REUGION 19 THE RAW BRA'N DF LEIMS Weirdmongerwas NOTa oneman band, after all, sincewith ldle on desktop drumsand Dog on superwoofer,they only neededLonnie Donegan himself on skiffle-boardto becomea HolyTrinity.
GODS lan Creasev
In ancientdays the deitiesof man Wereman writ large,with supeftuman powers Buthuman hearts: a fighting,loving clan Of demigods,who occupied their hours With not a mereexistence, but a life- Withwhich a mortalcould identify - Of passionateemotion, art andstrife In theseour mundanewaters, earth and sky. Todaythe moderngods are immanent: Unseen,unheard, unchronicled - they are Thatwhich they are, that's all; convenient Accompliceswithout an avatar. A prayingpriest is likethe thief the king Reprieved:perhaps the horse will learn to sing.
Tfere is onlyone true religion, but there may be manyforms of belief. (lmmanuelKant)
ARROT/i1SOF DES,RE6: REUGION 20 CONSIDER... NinaWatson -
The painthat is lifewhen eveything is a bit out of step.
When my old lover has gone to a dull but grateful new lover while the memoryof our times togetherdrives me mad. When my (not so) new lover "doesn'twant any complications",so ringsme up at ten day intervalsto inviteme over for a night of passionbut disownsme in public.One day someonewill appreciateme as I am. Hopekeeps me going...just. When I'mtoo knackeredafter my tempjob to lookfor a permanentjob. When I'm not evensure what I wantto do. I livefor the day when it will all miraculously workout. When I wakeup at four a.m.scratching at flea bitesbecause someone keeps lettingthe cats in. Trainsare late, peopleavoid each othe/s eyes in the lift. A taxi splashesme on the way to work.Things seem to conspireto get me down.I wonderwhat the pointof it all is. And one day hope is not enough,only despair willdo.
Drainthe bottle.Any bottle.Four pints of beer, a bottle of wine, a glass of stroh,it all comesto the samething. Destroy my logicalmind, blot out thought. Danceaway the tears, spin under the dazzlinglights till l'm dizy.Feel myself fall to the ground semi-consciousand love the feeling. Hit selfdestruct and vanishinto a millionpieces. Screw my eyesup tight.
Cry"Help". Nothing.
Then out of the darknesscome small realisations - light,breath. Lying still in the grass,looking up at antswalking on a singleblade. A memory:'Consider the lilies of the field - they toil not, neitherdo they spin - how mucfrmore precious are you'. Smalljoys that make it worthwhile.To see dawn break, the colours creepout of grey. I am alive and there are manythings to see, booksto read,films to see, views to look over, full moonsto look up at, food to taste, liqueursto collect, music to lose myself in and the expectationof a few more damn good fucks somewhen.Even if I endup havingto payfor it.
lf the worstcomes to the worst I can live out of dustbins.Sooner than that, I couldeven work in McDonalds.There is nothingto fear. I can handlewhatever comesmy way. I hope.
ARROIYS OF DESIRE 6: REUGION 21 lsl-AM
Founded: 622 AD in Medina,Arabian peninsula by Mohammed(ca. 570 - 632),the Prophet.
Sacred texts: Koran (the words of God),Hadith (colleciions of sayingsof the Prophet)
Organization: Theoreticallythe state and religious community are one, administeredby a caliph.In practice,lslam is a loosecollection of congregations united by a very conservativetradition. lslam is basicallyegalitarian and non- authoritarian.
Practice: EveryMoslem has 5 duties:to makethe professionof faith ('There is no god but Allah..."),pray 5 timesa day, give a regularportion of his goodsto charity, fast during the day in the month d Ramadan,and make at least one pilgrimageto Meccaif possible.
Divisions: The 2 major sects of lslam are the Sunni (orthodox) and the Shi'ah. The Shi'ah believe in 12 imams,perfect teachers, wtto still guide the faitl'rtulftom Paradise.Shi'ah prac{icetends torard the ecstatic,wfiile the Sunni is staid and simple. The Shi'ah secty afiirms man's ftee will; the Sunni is deterministic.The mystictradition in lslam is Sufism.A Suft adept believes he has acquireda specialinner knorledge direci trom Allah.
Location: From the west coast of Aftica to the Phillippinesacn)ss a broad bandthat includesTanzania, southem (former) USSR and westemChina, India, Malaysiaand Indonesia.lslam claims several million adherents in the U.S.
Beliefs: Strictlymonotheistic. God is crEatorof the universe,omnipotent, just and merciful.Man is God'shighest creation, but limitedand commitssins. He is misfedby Satan,an evil spirit.God revealedthe Konn to Mohammedto guide men to the truth. Those who repentand sincerelysubmit to God retum to a state of sinlessness.In the end, the sinlessgo to Paradise,a place of physicaland spiritualpleasure, and the wickedbum in Hell.
[Source:World Nmanacl
Thereis no commondenominator in theworld today except religion;the world has become a neighbourhoodwithout brotherhood. (Billy Graham)
ARROI14SOFDESTRE 6: REUGION 22 DANGER:RELIG|ON
An SF checklist Novels James Bfish Black Easter;TheDay After Judgement;A Caseof Conscience P K Dick Valis;Free RadioAlbemuth; The Divine lnvasion;Deus lrae (with RogprZelazny) G S Lewis Out of the Si/enfPlanet; Perelandra; That HideousSfrengfh Frank Herbert Dune,ef seg. MichaelMoorcock Beholdthe Man Roger Zelazny Lord of Light WalterM Miller A Canticlefor LeibowiE Fritz Leiber Gather,Darkness PaulPark So/diersof Paradise DanSimmons Songof Kali R A Lafferty The DevilisDead
Shorts Arthur C Clarke The StaCThe Nine BillionNames of God Brian Aldiss Oh, For A CloserBrush Wth God Ray Bradbury The Man Garry Kifworth Lef's Go to Golgotha Lester Del Rey Evensong;For I am a JealousPeople P K Dick Faithof our Fathers DamonKnight ShalltheDust Praise Thee? Roger Zelazny A Rose forEoclesrasfes Robert Silverberg GoodNews From the Vatican;lJp the Line HarryHarrison lhe Sfreetsof Ashkelon Anthony Boucher lhe Quesffor Sf.Aquin
Sfeve nofes; Most of the time religion has been the baddie of sf, with but a few glaring exceptions(Lewrs' Christian apologia masquerading as sf). Dick'sobsession with early Christianmysticism through the whole of his 'Valis' peiod makesan interestingstudy of sf and religion.
ARROT/YSOF DESTRE6: REUGIOAI 23 JOKE
Jesus,Moses and St. Peterwere about to starta round of golf on Heaven'schampions' course.
Mosestakes his driver,checks the breeze,lines up and swings: a beautifulstraight drive, bouncing twice on the fainray, rollingonto the edgeof the greenand finishing 30 feetfrom the pin.
St. Peter,similarly, makes a near-perfectshot, bouncing once on the fainray,then onto the green,finishing 3 feetfrom the pin.
Jesustakes his sand-wedgeand givesthe ball an almightyslice; it goesstraight up in the air andfalls bacJ A holein one. Mosesand St. Peterare dumbfounded. Jesus,hand on hip, looksskyward with an exasperatedexpression. "Dad!Don't fuck about,we're playing for moneyl" ARROYITSOFDESTRE 6; RELIGIOI\I 24 CATHOLICFACTS Fromthe 1993Catholic Almanac (US): The numberof nuns in the U.S.dropped below 100,000for the first time in manydecades. The newfigure was 99,337,reflecting a loss of morethan 2,300 in the previousyear and over22,000 in the previousten. 332,000Catholic maniages were performed,down 4,000 from 1992,and the lowestfigure recordedsince the early 1960s,when there were only abouttwo- thirdsas manyCatholics in the U.S.as presently. The number of baptismsor initiationsof baptised Christiansfrom other religionsincreased by nearly33,000 to 1,180,707. Approximately2 millionU.S. Catholics are African-American;the numberhas almostdoubled in fouryears. The numberof priestlyordinations increased to 8O4from 620 the previous year. The overallnumber of priestsstood at 52,277(down 800). LOS CATOLICOSHISPANOS: DATOS Y ESTADISTICAS Los Catolicoshispanos actualmente forman la terceraparte de la poblacion catolicaen los EstadosUnidos. Los Catolicoshispanos formaran la mitad de la poblacioncatolica en los EstadosUnidos en el ano2000. La iglesiacatolica pierde actualmente 60,000 catolicos hispanos cada ano a los predicadoresprotestantes fundamentalistas a los cualesel pap Juan Pabloll se ha referidocomo "lobos rapaces". WORLD:DISTRIBUTION OF ROMANCATHOLICS Africa 119,244,000 Asia 121,311,000 Europe 262,026p00 LatinAmerica 397,810,000 NorthernAmerica 96,315,000 Oceania 8,095,000 (former)USSR 5,551,000 World 1,010,352,000 (Mid-1991 projected figures) ARROWSOF DESIRE6: REUGION 25 ME TALKINGRUBBISH BarrvJ Bavlev The first thing that strikesme aboutreligious beliefs - speakingof those movementswe are most familiarwith, at any rate - is that if such convictions wereheld by one personalone he wouldbe adjudgedmentally ill, sufferingfrom delusions.They are, in fact, indistinguishablefrom fantasticalbut fascinating mentalconstructs I have heard from diagnosedschizophrenics. But because these extraordinaryideas are believedby many,they are given respect,even managingsometimes to take control of nations. The accusationof mental delusionis levelledonly at religionsother than one's own. The themeof insanitygoes way back.Abraham, legendary patriarch of Jews, Arabs,and by implicationfather of the wholevast edifice of Judaic,Christian and Moslembelief-systems, heard the voiceof Godtelling him to kill his youngson, and so set about doing so. How would the social services react to such behaviourin our time? The tale is a straightfonrarddescription of paranoid schitzophrenia.Maybe the historyof the West would have been differentif little lsaaccould have been taken into care. The readinesswith which large massesof peoplecan be made to accept- and evenfanatically defend - teachingsoriginated by peoplewhose mental state one mightwonder at saysa greatdeal about the natureof the humanpsyche. That's not the point. Christianity(and thereforeJudaism) claimsto have its basrsin histoical eventssuch as the Exodusrather than the teachingsof any individual person.Through fhese events peoplecame to put their trust in the teachers,and this basic formulacan be seen right throughto the time of Jesus, whose miraclesgave him validity.Besrdes all that Abraham never acted as a preacheror gave any teachings.His importance lies in the simplebelief that the covenantwas firstgiven to him. So fhere. The aboveparagraph appears to havebeen added while lwas at the pub by my daughterHeather, who earlier expressedher scom for people wfro have neverstudied religion, know nothing about it, yet proceedto pronounceupon it. Still,when was a true thinkerever detened by the superiorknowledge of others? Her interpolationmight as well serveto bringme to my next point,which in true polemicstyle is a tactic to anticipatemy readers'most obviousobjection. Yes, someonewill say,but you are missing the essentialthing about religion, which is that it dealswith humanfeelings, not intelleclualfacts. Unfortunately, religious doctrinesseem unable to leave 'facts' alone. More than once I have tried to argue with door-knockingmissionaries that religiousteachings are shooting themselvesin the foot by e.g.denying evolution, and that theywould do betterto avoid all scientificquestions (though this becomes increasinglydifficult, especiallynow that science,in the form of Al research,is about to invadethe subjectof the minditself). But to no avail.When people embrace a religionthey accept all of it. Beliefs,opinions, attitudes, perceived 'facts' all come in a package. It is no good,really, forming an attitudeabout this phenomenon.lt is itselfan anthropologicalfact. As a lemmato this fact there are some who suggestthat ARROIYSOF DESIRE6: RELIGION ME TALKING RUEB'SH BARRYJ BAYLEY the majorreligions were intentionalexperiments on the part of a super-intelligent humanelite, aimedat injectingvarious influences or ideasinto societyso as to furtherthe evolutionof civilisation.And sureenough, each new big religiondoes seem to bring with it a new idea or set of ideas; not new in the sense that nobody thought of it before, but new as a force in (to bonow a word) the noosphere.Which would mean that the World's Great Teacfiers,if I may be unskepticalenough to call them that, didn't particularlybelieve what they were saying. It's been some time now since a new world religion got started, v,rhich naturallysuggests that one is due beforetoo long. What will its New ldea be? Hardto say, but fun to speculateon. What is predictableis that it will co-optthe sciencesof the time.Religions do that(at any ratemajor state religions - l'm not speakinghere of sects like thosev/hich proliferate in Christianity),and modem scienceis, of course,formidable. So, we'll havea doctrinev/hich takes on board the whole super-dupercosmological physics of maybe a century hence, wrappingit up in some kind of metaphysicsand who knowswhat else. Heavy, man,heavy! The troublewith that,naturally, is that sucfran organisedreligion would have a vestedinterest in ensuringthat scienceprogressed no further.Here would be a super-intellectualpatriarch (maybe an Al super-intellect?)telling you THIS lS THEWAY lT lS, lT'SPROVEN AND THERE'S NOTHING ELSE. And peoplewill believehim. Speakingof religion...what about us? Us sciencefic{ioneers? How do we figure in the universalanthropological phenomenon of religion?Let us not supposewe standaloof from it. Most,if not all of us got hookedwhile young. We havea convictionwe cannotlet go ol and if we are askedwhat it's all aboutwe have a centralconcept: the Senseof Wonder.This is the essentialexperience, the experiencewe go huntingfor. We will go to extraordinarylengths to obtainit. We will, almostliterally, crawl though shit, reading millions of wordsof rubbish so that occasionally,maybe only once in ten years, we come up against somethingthat leavesus feelingstunned for an hour, a couple of days, or longer... Sense of Wonder counts as a religiousemotion. You might even find somethinglike it mentionedin the Bible.In the Cabbala,dubiously touted as the mysticalside of Judaism,something similar - Awe - is the name of the path leadingfrom the seat of human consciousnessto divine consciousness.Of course,this is to speakof the raw materialof religiousfeeling: the first thing to vanishonce religions become formalised and attitudes become obligatory. So, PredictionNumber Two: when the NewWorld Religiontakes hold and they start burningbooks (or whateverthey'll do to whateverare booksby then) as usuallyhappens, and if there'sstill a Senseof Wonderliterature, guess what will go intothe flames(be data-wiped,sense-prohibited) along will atl the latest researchstuff? Excusemy maunderings,my disjointedthoughts, but who knows? Maybe disconnectedmentation will be a prescribedfeature of the new religion?On ARROYYSOF DESIRE6: RELIGION comment' wt-tichHeather, both light and bane of my life,disda.ins to makefurther Ordo I seemto hear,if" ghostlyconscience, a shrill cry? " WhatcraP, Dadl What absolute cnPI lf someonetold me I wouldbe Popesomeday, I would have studiedharder. (Pope John Paul l) one of theoldest problems puzzled over in theTalmud is: 'wny didGod create goyim?". The generally accepted answeris thatsomebodv has to buyretail' to stopsinning suddenlY. God buildshis temple in the hearton the ruinsof churches andreligions. (RalphWaldo Emerson) Religionis thesigh of theoppressed creature, the feeling of a nelrttessworld-, just as it is the spiritof unspiritual conditions.lt is theopium of thepeople. (Karl Man) Themystery of thebeginning of allthings is insolubleto us; andI for onemust be contentto remainan agnostic. (CharlesDarwin) ARROtllS OFDESTRE6: REUGIOIV GETRELIGION AT THEMOVIES STDDHARTHA(1e73) Dir: ConradRooks. ShashiKapoor, Simi Garewal, Romesh Shama, Pincfroo Kapoor, Zul Vellani, Amrik Singh. Arty, uneven treatmentof the Herman Hesse novel. Dazzling cinematography,however from IngmarBergman's chap Sven Nykvist. THE MTRACLEOF OURLADY OF FATTMA(1s52) Dir:John Brahm. GilbertRoland, Angela Glarke, Frank Silvera, Jay Novello,Sherry Jackson. Account of a religiousmiracle witnessed by farm children in the 1910s. Intelligentscript tastefully done. HERECOMES MR. JORDAN(1941) Dir:Alexander Hall. Robert Montgomery,Evelyn Keyes, Claude Rains, Rita Johnson,Edward Everett Horton,James Gleason,John Emery.The original and best: superb fantasy-comedyabout a prizefightersent to Heavenbefore his time,sent backto inhabita new body.Won Oscarsfor originalstory and screenplay,and includes a lightning-fastappearance of a young Lloyd Bridges.Remade in 1978 as the not-asgoodWarren Beatty vehicle Heaven Can Wait. oH, GODI (1977) Dir:Carl Reiner. GeorgeBurns, John Denver,Teri Gan, Paul Sorvino,George Furth, Ralph Bellamy,Barnard Hughes. God (Bums) appears to summonJohn Denver as his messenger,to tell the world He's alive and well. Soundscringe-worthy, but is actually very good with little in the way of cheap jokes. Followed by two execrablesequels: Oh, God!Book ll (1980)and Oh, God!You Devil(1984). JESUSCHRIST, SUPERSTAR 0973) Dir:Norman Jewison. Ted Neeley,Carl Anderson, Yvonne Elliman, Barry Dennen, Joshua Mostel, Bob Bingham.An adaptationof the Rice/Lloyd-Webbermusical that actually improvesthe original.Rivetting and controversial.Ubiquitous pomo star Paul Thomasappears in the chorus. KINGOF K,wGS(1961) Dir:Nicholas Ray. Jeffrey Hunter, Siobhan McKenna, Robert Ryan, Hurd Hatfield, Viveca Lindfors,Rita Gam, Rip Torn. Beautiful(though not toally perfect)remake of CecifB. DeMille's1927 silent. Must be seenin CinemaScope,as it losesit on TV. Narrationby OrsonWelles. ARROYYSOF DESIRE6: RELIGION 29 GET REUGIONAT THE MOWES UFEOF BRTAN(1e7s) Dir:Terry Jones. Graham Chapman,John Cleese,Terry Gilliam,Eric ldle, Terry Jones, MichaelPalin. Suffered a little in the edit, but on the whole a a good sustained featurewith little in the way of "sketch"format to distract,and an odd cameoby SpikeMilligan. The real Jesus (playedstraight) appears at the Sermonon the Mount,with the peopleat the backcomplaining that they can'thear. Terry Jones is magnificentas Brian'smum: "He's not the Messiah,he's a verynaughty boy!" THE TEN COMMANDMENTS(1956) Dir:Cecil B DeMille. CharltonHeston, Yul Brynner,Anne Baxter,Edward G Robinson,Yvonne De Carlo, Debra Paget, John Derek, Cedric Hardwicke,H.B. Wamer, Henry Wilcoxon, Nina Foch, Martha Scott, Judith Anderson,Vincent Price, John Carradine.Epic in every sense, 22O minutesof magnificence.The special effectsderservedly won an Oscar(highlights: the partingof the Red Sea and the writing of the tablets)- look at that year again! A remakeof DeMille'ssilent versionof 1923. ANGELON MY SHOULDER(1946) Dir:Archie Mayo. Paul Muni,Anne Baxter,Claude Rains, George Cleveland, Onslow Stevens. Murderedconvict Muni is sent to earth by the Devil as a respectedjudge, and triesto outwitSatan while in mortalform. An entertainingfantasy, remade for W in 1980with Peter Strauss reprising Muni's role. HEAVEN(1e87) Dir:Diane Keaton. Bizarre, pointlesseffort interspersinginterviews with movie clips on the subjectof Heaven.Clips range from Metropolis to... THE HORNBLOWS AT M|DN|GHT(1945) Dir:Raoul Walsh. Jack Benny,Alexis Smith, Dolores Moran, Allyn Joslyn,Reginald Gardner, Guy Kibbee,John Alexander,Margaret Dumont, Franklin Pangbom. An angel (Benny)is sent to earthto destroyit with a blastfrom Gabriel'shom. Funny,no classic,but not the turkeyBenny always joked it was either. ATVGELStN THE OUTFTELD(1951) Dir:Clarence Brown. PaulDouglas, Janet Leigh, Keenan Wynn, Donna Corcoran. Heavenly forces helpthe uselessPittsburgh Pirates hit a winningstreak. Disney's 1994 remake withChristopher Lloyd looks awful by comparison. ARRO91/SOF DESIRE 6: REUGION 30 JUDAISTVI Founded:About 1300BCE; Abraham is regardedas the foundingpatriarch, but the Torahof Mosesis thE basic sour@of the teachings. Sacred texts: The five booksof Moses constitutethe written Tonh. Special sanctityis also assignedother writingsof the HebrewBible - the teachingsof orafTorah are recordedin the Talmud,the Midrash,and variouscommentaries. Organization:Originally theocratic, Judaism has evolveda congregational polity.The basicinstitution is the localsynagogue, operated by the congregation and led by a rabbiof theirchoice. Chief Rabbis in Franceand GreatBritain have authorityonly over those who accept it; in lsrael, the 2 Chief Rabbis have civil authorityin familylaw. Practice: Among traditional practitioners,almost all areas of life are govemed by stricl religiousdiscipline. Sabbath and holidays are marked by specialobservances, and attendanceat publicworship is regardedas especially importantthen. The chief annual observancesare Passoyer, celebratingthe liberationof the lsraelitestrom Egyptand markedby the ritual Seder meal in the home, and the 10 days from Rosh Hashana(New Year) to Yom Kppur (Day of Atonement),a periodof fastingand penitence. Divisions: Judaismis an unbrokenspectrum from ultra-conservativeto ultra- liberal, largely reflectingdffierent points of view regardingthe binding ctraracter of the prohibitionsand duties- particularlythe dietaryand Sabbathobservations - prescribedin the dailylife of the Jew. Location: Almostworldwide, with concentrationsin lsraeland the U.S. Beliefs: Strictlymonotheistic. God is the creatorand absoluteruler of the universe.Men are free to chooseto rebelagainst God's rule. God establisheda particularrelationship with the Hebrewpeople: by obeying a divine law God gave them they would be a specialwitness to God's mersy and justice. The emphasisin Judaismis on ethicalbehaviour (and, among the traditional,careful ritualobedience) as the trueworship of God. [Source:World Nmanacl To vouI'm an atheist;to God,l'm the Loyal Opposition. (WoodyAllen) ARROWS OF OESTRE6; REUGtOlrl 31 THETEN COM]VIANDMENTS Accordingto the Judeo-Christiantradition, as relatedin the Bible,the Ten Gommandmentswere revealedby God to Moses,and form the basic moral componentof God's covenantwith lsrael.The Ten Commandmentsappear in two differentplaces in the Old Testament:Exodus 20: 1-17 andDeuteronomy 5: 6-21- the phrasingsimilar but not identical. Most Protestant, Anglican and Orthodox Christians enumerate the Commandmentsdifferently from Roman Catholics and Lutherans. Jewish tradition considers the introduc'tion,"l am the Lord..." to be the first commandmentand makesthe prohibitionagainst "other gods" and idolatrythe second. Abridgedtext of the Ten Commandmentsin Exodus20: 1-17: l. I amthe Lord your God, who brought you out of the landof Egypt,out of the houseof bondage. Youshall have no othergods before me. ll. You shall not makefor yourselfa graven image.You shall not bow downto themor serve them. lll. Youshall not take the nameof theLordyour Godin vain. lv. Rememberthe Sabbath day, to keepit holy. V. Honouryour father and mother. Vl. Youshall not kill. Vll. Youshall not commit adultery. Vlll. Youshall not steal. lX. Youshall not bear false witness against your neighbour. X. Youshall not covet. ARROT/YSOF DESIRE 6: RELIGION 32 VIRTUALJESUS S V O'Jav "Readyfor him?" The other black-cladrnan's face experimentedwith several configurations before settling upon somethingwry. 'We are ready. The perennial question arises:is he readyfor us?' 'You mean,for this." "Of @urse,this." Brother Paul surveyedthe sunoundingsfor thE nth time. He consideredthe appropriateness,or othenrise,of requiringthose students about to take this final test to walk the length of that stearn-industrialbasement, pipe-pockedand redolentof the machine-oilaura of namelesscontraptions, a toucft away from the greasyfur of adaptablerats; to have them emergeinto a waiting rooms'hictl never failed to give the impressionof a back-streetabortionist; then when the waitingwas just on the too-muchside of enough,to call them into this minored monstrosity of state-of-the-art. "Ludovico". 'Mlhat?"The othe/s curiouslook retumedBrother Paul to the here and now. He rela: Brother Paul points out the connectors on the cnrciform device, strictl monitorsshould be registeringfrom sfiich areas,and how to read the medical displaysfor heartbeat,respiration, perspiration, adrenal activity and so on. The EEG peaksa test pattemfrom normalto excessto flatlinedeath; he showsthe kick-in switchesand clear alarmsfor shock heartstartif required,stressing the unlikelihoodof their need.He still feels the othe/s uneaselike a straitjacketon him. The checks are completed.The studentis about to be summoned,but BrotherPaul intemrpts: 'Wait one moment".He reachesfor the intercom$,vitch to give him a voice in the waiting room. "We will be readyfor you in a few moments.You may wish to use this time in praye/'. Tuming,the eyes assumenew purpose.'Talk to me, brother." 'M/hat?"Jackrabbit. 'Talk to me. This bothersyou somehow,and I need to know why. We need your full attentionhere, and anythingless will not help you, me or the student. You know how things are here, or at least if you don't you shouldn'tbe here. Speakfreely." ARRO}ilS OF DES,RE6: REUGION 33 VTRTUAL JESUS s v olAY "BrotherPaul, 1...". There is a momentof waitingfor the requiredcomposure to assert."l knowthis orderhas nevershown the distrustof sciencethat others have, and indeedwe pride ourselveson this leaming.We includein our self- reliancethe use of whatevermeans are avaiableto us, alwaysto further the wordof Godand, by example,our discipline, but..." "But?" "...thisis too much!| thoughtso whenI tookthe test myself. Now, I feel like..." (impasssioned,suddenly) "...like a damned- GrandInquisitor! | mean, look at all this!What the hell arewe supposedto be achievinghere?" Raised eyebrowswere enough to engender silence. The smile which parenthesisedthem, however, was enoughto defusethe sin of the words. 'Your profanitywill be excused- this time. Let us dialogue- a catechismof the test, if you will. How did you feel when you were asked to go upon the Cross?Honestly, now." 'Afraid.That's all I canremember." "Of courseyou were. Bul whfi" "l don'tknow. The pain.I thoughtlwouldn't be ableto dealwiththat. And..." 'Yes?" "And..."(realisation) "l thoughtI would fail. How could I possiblybe worthy enoughto stand that test - even the Christcried out to be delivered,so how could1..." "And how did you feel aftenrard?" The silenceseems to suckin all the soundsof the universe,as if all Creation is betweenbreaths.'Transfigured". Creationexhales. "So, shall we call him?".The briefnod suffices. As the studententers, sidewise crablike apprehension and unsteadygaze, BrotherPaul takes him firmly by the arm,as a kind unclewould, and leadshim towardthe machine;up the threesteps and tumingto face them,he rests back intothe'T. "Now you understandwhy you are here?", Brother Paul asks, kindly, expectingno answer."You are hereto betteryour understandingof the sacrifice of our Lord Jesusfor all of mankind;by experiencingthe sufferingof the Cross as he experiencedit, as an affirmationof your faith in our order, as your personalcovenant with God the Fatherby bearingthe painof his Son.We help youtoward your enlightenment, we cleanseyour soul. Let us pray." Afier a momentof silent reflection,the door closesand the studentis held within.Brother Paul's head is still bowed,then he turns slowly,deliberately. "Beginthe program". ARROT'YSOF DESIRE6: RELIGION u GOD AND ME Haz Bond Call me misguided,call me naive- oh go on, feel free; everyoneelse in fandomdoes - but I've alwaysbeen of the opinionthat fandomcontains a far largerproportion of peoplewilling to talk sensiblyabout religionthan in the World Outside.Even those fans who are Christiansare by and large less prone to reactin knee-jerkfashion to any "unconventional"discussion in this area. AlthoughI moan a lot about my parents,one thing for which I am able to thank them is that they did not raise me as a Christian.Despite the fact that some law dictatesthat schoolchildrenmust be taughtat least so much religion per week, my first schoolobserved this statutenot at all; and so by the time I foundmyself at a schoolthat did, my knowledgeof Jesuslagged far behindthat of my classmates.In fac1,the first time I discoveredthat Christianitywas rather importantwas when a girl of nine or so waltzed up to me and asked the blindinglyloaded question: "Do you loveanybody?". "No",I replied,scenting a trap. 'Then you don't love Jesus",she riposted,and waltzedon awayas one who has scoreda tremendousvictory. l, of course,was thoroughlyabashed at my supposedmoral failings, so both she and I were perfectly happy with the situation,a stateof affairsall too rare in this valeof tears. At this school, hymns were sung (with more gusto than tunefulness)at morningassembly, and HeadmasterMadgwick, he of heartymien and traditional beliefs,would suffix these with a rousinglecture drawn from the NewTestament, generallydealing with either the birth or death of Jesus. This led to my erroneousbelief that Jesuswas bornat Christmasand killedat Easterhaving mysteriouslygrown up in between.lt's easy to scoff now, but at the time it all seemedquite logical;for not only did I have no idea of quite how people"grew up" (otherthan that the olderyou got, the morechance you had of it happening to you),but sinceJesus was, as Mr Madgwickkept reiterating, the Son of God and frequently performedmiracles, why shouldn't he be able to grow up magicallyin twomonths flat? lt all heldwater perfectly. On to anotherschool, which not only had properreligious services but also taughtreligion on the curriculum.The scalesfell frommy eyesas I was issued witha Bibleand started reading it in the logicalway (i.e. from the beginning).For the benefitof anyonewho hasn'ttried this, the Old Testamentis (a) dull and (b) hometo a great deal of war historyand codes of ethics calculatedto make a calloweleven-year-old blanch. EvefynWaugh's headmasterin Declineand Fall would open the Bible at randomand "read a chapterof blood-curdlingmilitary history" to the moming assemblyat his school.We got a teacherwith the modemversion of the Bible, whichled to the storyof the construc'tionof the Templebeing read out featuring all the measurementstranslated to modernterms, meticulously to threedecimal places.Several of the masterswere seen to grin broadlyduring this, my first clue that not all grown-upsactually believed what was alreadybecoming to me a ludicrousset of events. I did eventuallyfinish reading the Bible,discovering along the way that the Old Testamentalso contains(c) a book devotedto nothing save several ARROT/YSOFDESTRE 6: RELIGION that hobby paralleledthat fervour a new convertto proselytize. a religion is inspiredto I w.ouldn'targue with anyonewho said that. Fandom,sgods, to my view, superiorto the are real thing in that they don't catl for wars, torture or undue intolerancein their worship. Indeed,it tne end of the day, ail the ghods of fandomare onlyhuman. HAZSEZ tT (29t4t91) 1 what Harry may have in mind is the novel rhe fuok of ptath. by A E van vogt. Recommendedfor rerigiousryconfused thirteen-yearordsevernryhere. fs y ouayl lf Godwere a marble WouldChurches be spherical? Wouldglass-makers be priests? Wouldsand be sacred? wouldwe not,instead of aspiring,transcending, reaching, wanting, Rollinto forgotten comers Andcall it holy? wouldwe nottreasure the clarity with which we coutdsee Eachothers, Innercolours? lf Godwere a marble... PerhapsHe is a marble! GecilNurse ARRoyysoF DESTREo..neuclol 39 LOCOCITATO IS y O'Jay: Portionsof letters which appeared in AOD 51/2 have been excised. Correspondencedafes from December 1990 to August 1991 or thereabouts.Comments, including fhose attibuted to {Nic Farey} were all wiften at the time.l fan Greasey,T3Richmond Avenue, Leeds LSG lDB Thoughtmost of AODSwas prettygood, but UK Deathsby Cause1976 was pretty pointless,besides being out of date. I mean, rvhat preciselyis the differencebetween "Natural Causes" and "Other NaturalCauses"; and isn't 'Traffic Accidents"a subset of 'Accidents"?(Well, there vvas no exclusion clause, unlike under "Cance/'). A True Faith by "Patrick McKay" (i.e. Kev McVeigh)was tediousand seeminglynothing to do with death.I first saw this piece in The Organisationapa back in March[1990] and didn't like it then. I enjoyedthe rest of the issue, though - particularlythe last page: spot on as usual. il think you may be being slightlyunfair to Pat McKay,though probably less unfair than McVeighis fo Des Lewis,for example.As to the cause of death headings being confusing,although I quoted my source (The Book of Bitish tusfs),I don't know whatthe!!source was.Probably the Home Ottice.l DavidLangford, 94 LondonRoad, Reading, Berks RGI sAU [Firstly, David refersto my remark /asf issue (5) that he 'gleefully' proclaimed himself "Fandom'sNumber One Hate Figure' afrer this accplade had been granted in AOD4; secondly,to Joe McNally'sdoubting that Langfordminor is a memberof "TheThree Johns".l Gleeful?The correctword would have been "bemused". Yes, little brotheris one of The ThreeJohns (now, I think, in suspended animation)and also one of the Mekons(who alwaysseem to be doingworld toursand sending postcards from Germany, Holland, the Midwest,Japan etc.). [The Mekons,at least,have a name derivingfrom a literaryreference, as do Cheslin Jr"s outftt "Ned's Atomic Dustbin', such great historicalgroups as "Steppenwolf"or indeed "The ComsatAngels'.1 Ken Cheslin,10 GoneyGreen, Stourbridge, West MidlandsDY8 1LA Manythanks for the zine,which I thoughtexcellent. Oh, one or two bitswere, shallwe say,"ordinary" and/or rather heavy on pathos,which is excusable,but mostof the itemswere well-written and interesting reading. Father,Forgive Me I would call ordinary,and to a lesserdegree I thought Death ComesCalling was too, thoughin other companythey mighthave stood out. On the otherhand, I thoughtSongs for the Dyingmost interesting,rivetting even(though I've little interest in mostof the entertainersper se). FamousLast WordsI enjoyed,though I suspectthis is not the best of what must be a large crop. My favourite,and has been since I heard it some years ARROI/YSOF DESIRE6: RELIGION 40 LOCO CITATO ago, is 'They couldn'thit an elephantat this dist...".You could have done epitaphstoo. [Perhapssome epitaphswould have been interesting.I came acrossa listing of one in High Wycombewhich would have been rather appropriate.lt reads: "Deathis a fisherman;the world we see a ftshpond is, and we the /ishes be; He sometimesangleg like doth with us play, and slilytakes us one by one away'.1 Songsto CommitSuicide Io. I think I haveheard of one, and heardof five of the bands/artists- can't say it excitedme much. Death: ordinary. More or Less Than Just Love: bored me. Early Morning, AlmostAnywhere: ordinary. UK Deathsby Cause 1976:interesting, pity it's not more up to date. DeathsheadRevisited: also uninteresting,and so much of it. One Man'sHeaven: ordinary. A Hell of a Job: a grandarticle, would have liked more.Suicide Playlist #2: uninterested.Afterthe FirstDeath: ordinary. On The lmprobabilityof my Existence:I liked this, though I think his [Barry Bayley'slargument is invalidwhen he mentionsthe numberof parallelworlds beingimpossibly great, 'cos it's not, if you acceptthat the seriesis infinite(or prettymuch so). Death'sDiary. ordinary.Untitled: uninteresting. Death, some TV movies:I don'tfind muchTV interesting.This was, mildly. Bright Wnged, with Pale Hands'. ordinary.Page 35 [Playlisfs/:uninteresting; and 36 and 37 IA TrueFaith; I Dink Beer,Me...1... Hm. I don't seemto be very enthusiasticabout the majorityof the contents, lookingback over the list,which puzzles me becauseI got an overallimpression thatthis was a very goodissue. I am at a losshow to accountfor this. Maybel'm wrong and my "ordinarys"were prettygood and my favouritesreally fantastic. Ah,well! Leffers:Er... the back and front coversfof AOD4]were one illo? Honestly, nevernoticed. I putthis down to startingat thefront of thezine, going through by pageorder and gettingto the end,by whichtime I maywell haveforgotten what the frontcover was like,and if I neverbothered to openthe zine out,well that's myfault and not yours(hastily checks AODS front and backcovers). I seethat the nexttheme will be religion.I am dumbstruckat the immensityof the possibilitiesthis opens.One can be reasonableand tolerantof religious issues,while admitting all the ills religionhas playeda partin causing.One can alsopoint to a lot of goodreligion has done,its help in timesof distress.This, however,is totallyunsatisfactory and makesfor boringreading. What we want is a bit of the old hellfireand damnation, like, you watch out all you bloodyheretics, Godwill get you in the end,iffen we don'tcatch you fust and give Hima helping hand.Or, religionis the opiumof the people,used to keepthe massesin line, andjust lookat all thewars and persecutions done in the nameof religion. Unfortunately,l'm a bit wishy-washymyself (though inclined to the "opiumof the people"line). I wishall religionswere as wishy-washyas mostof the C of Es seemto be,then maybe we wouldn'tget thingslike hounding Rushdie, or those damn Mormon missionaries,or the Holy Inquisition,or Hitler... (l say ARROI/YSOFDES,RE 6: RELIGION 41 LOEO EITATO "unfortunately"up there meaningI couldn'trave @nvincinglyon either extreme side. That'sonly the tip of the iceberg,of course.There must be a lot of mileagein describingancient religions: Sumer. Egypt, Greece etc., and the odd cults such as the Cargo cult... €[, and Mammon, the Conservatives'own special unacknowledgedGod. And then there is Roscoe, Ghughu, Foo Foo, 'The Yobberis mightierthan the Poo",fannish religions. The Great Pumpkinof the Peanutsstrips is some sort of God (or summat)which leads us on to Santa Claus,the ToothFairy and so on. f've not writtenmuch [Some would disagree].but l've been thinkinga lot, and I concludethat there are boundto be eruditefolk out thEreat this very moment bashingout literateand intelligentarticles on all aspectsof religion,just for you. No doubt,as well as factualitems, many a sheet of paper is being beatenred hot wlrilst being impressedwith many a reade/s opinion on religion. Then there'sa lot that could be said, but not by me, l'm too lazy to do the research. Religion in sf... Nehemniha(Nehemiha?) Scudder, the Sixth Column fake religion,gods in the Conan stories,religion in The Lord of the Rings,Terry Pratchett'sdeities, Namia (and the other Lewis stories), the Blish stories, LeibowiE,and so on... In conclusionI offer the unoriginalthought that, as in political systems, broadlyspeaking no particularsystem of religiousbeliefs is any betteror worse than any other in practice.lt just dependshow individualpeople interpretthe particularbeliefs. SteveJeffery, 44 White Way, Kidlington,Oxon OXs zXA The newtypeface and layoutis an improvementover AOA1,and makesfor a neaterlooking zine. I likethe Olafstoo, particularlyOlaf as Morton p38. Father,Forgive Me (S V O'Jay):This hit hard, cominga couple of weeks after I'd losttwo grandparentswithin a weekof eachother. A roughtime for the family. It mademe honiblyaware that my own parentsare mortal,and wonderinghow I wouldcope in their position.That my own parentswill die sometimeis something I knowintellectually, but never connected to on a gut leveluntiltimes like this. Afterthe FirstDeath (Helena Bowles): This connectedtoo, takingme backto a time I was workingat a geriatrichospital. You leam fast not to becometoo friendlywith the olderpatients, when there's the possibilitythat they'renot going to be there the next day when you come in. More distressingare the ones wiro are dead beforetheir body givesup the struggleto hold on. lt's not death lfear so muchas the idea of constantpain, and the loss of dignityand independence in oldage. Songsto CommitSuicide fo: My own favesfor absolutedoom and depression are The Cure's Faith (esp. The Funeral Partyl, Kevin Coyne and some of RichardThompson's gloomier ditties (Witheredand Diedl. Strangethat you missed Country Joe's Fixin to Die Rag from these, or The Supernatural Anaesthefisffrom Genesis'The Lamb LiesDown on Broadway."lf he wants you to snuffit, all he has to do is puff it." ARROT/T6OF DES,RE 6: REUGION LOCO CITATO On the lmprobabilityof Barry Bayley Lovely line in there: "lt's astonishing that I am here,especially as I havenever won a lotteryin my life." A TrueFaith (PatrickMcKay): "Do you knowhow pale and wanton thrillful comesdeath on a strangehour unannounced,unplanned for Likea scaryoverfriendly guest You'veinvited to bed" (JimMonison) Four o'clock in the moming is the absoluteworst time to be alone and depressed.The Samaritanstry to put their more experiencedstaff on the end of the phonelines for this shift,with goodreason. Mike Glicksohn,508 Wndermere Avenue,Toronto, Ontario M6S3LG Yourspecial all-death issue of Anowsof Desirereached me slightlyless than five days afler I receiveda call from my brothertelling me our father had died in a San Diego hospitalafter sufferingmassive heart failure while winteringin a camperin the Califomiadesert with my stepmother.ln fact, your farzine reached me before I had heard again from my brcther so I didn't quite know what arrangementswere being made wl'ren I read your own apology to your dead father.Now I knowthere will be no funeral,no memorialservice, and my dad's body will have been crematedlong beforeyou get this letter, so I won't have to go throughwhat you wentthrough. And l'm not evensure if thats good or bad. I do know that as yet I have forded my grief down and kept it under control so I could continueto functionand perfolmthe dutiesof everydaylife until I knewfor sure what arangementswould or woutdnot be made.So I haven'treally cried yet either.But I expectI will beforetoo long. Obviouslythe issuereached me on an immediateemotional level. Someof the contentslfound tasteless,others were in downrightbad taste, but manytried to come to grips with the effects of death on the survivors in honest and sometimeseven eloquent ways. And comingto termswith the effectsof deathis somethingwe mustall learnto do; and do by ourselvessince there doesn't seem to be much anyonecan say or do that can have any real effect on the suffering thosewho grievemust feel and livethrough and comeout of. lf this issue had reachedme at some other time I might have written at greaterlength but right now I have little heartfor loccingfanzines and l'm not yet readyto write about my own feelingson the subject.I also have no interestin your next issueso you shouldsave yourselfthe postageand send that copyto someoneelse. Thanksfor puttingme on the mailinglist, even if the timingwas too bizaneto contemplate. MikeAbbott, 102Wlliam SmithClose, Cambridge GBI 3QF At last, MichaelAbbott gets his fingerout and writes.Thanks for feedingme Anows of Desr'reuntil now, an) rvay: it's good str,lfi, especially (last issue) ARROII€ OF DESIRE6: REUGION LOCOCITATO S;tretcherBearer. I won't try to go throughthe issue commentingon everything, but I will say that I'm disappointedin Kev McVeighfor not mentioningthe perilousposition of Drummerwith SpinalTap, surelyworse than anythingwith the GratefulDead. Alan J Sullivan,13 Weir Gardens,Rayleigh, Esser 556 7TH As per previousissues, you've managed to get a good,varied mix of material together- a good collectionof contributionscan go a long way toward makinga zinea success... Father, Forgive Me: Oddly enough,this struck a real chord. lt's the unsaid thingsthat haunt,more than any ghosts...that and the guilt that lives on. And on... Death ComesCalling: Well, you'd hardly expect people to meekly report to Death to have their existenceterminated. Lenny Henry made an interesting observationon the matter of Death comingto call: "Death ought to send you a little postcard,like the gasman: Death will be calling round this Thursday aftemoon.Then you couldbe out." Songs for the Dying:A very FllegibleJlisting d musicalfatalities. Tell Kylie? She shouldbe so...While on the subjec{of musicto commitsuicide to, ufiy no mentionof Country& Westem?Some of these are just sooooooooodepressing! [This "tnditional' type of C&W has largely been surpassedby 'New Country' and so+alled 'Southem Rock' (Hank Wliams Jr is rwgnised as o/re of the frN to incorporateSouthern rock into his material),which deals with all the themes you'd expectfrom contemporary,intelligent music of any kind. Also,if you want to hear some good, fun music in the original idiom I en heaftily recommend 'Another Saturday Night"- classic reardings from the LouisianaBayous, which includessome excellent r&b and Cajun musicfrom this area.I listento it even as Itype fhesewords. Ace Records,CHC 288.1 Death:\tvhy? Sorry, no idea. I suspectDeath needs no rar.sond'etre, being the only certaintyapart from taxes.(Don't tell the Govemment,the/d only work out a way to tax the dead...)There is also the questionof whetherHeisenberg consideredAnthropomorphic Personifications when assembling his theory/ principles.lt's a thought,ana) ilay. More or Less Than Just Love:A piece I actuallyfound downrighttoucfring. I hate it whenpeople remind me that I have a sensitive,caring nature. lt's just so un-pro-survivalin the cold and heartlessworld we live in. Early Morning, AlmostAnywhere: Like Father,Forgive Me this is another chord-striker.Like an awful lot of people,l've a motherliving just like that, in slightlyless "luxury" but equally alone. UK Deathsby Cause:I ought to send you a printoutof a data file our course is cunently working on - it's a similarlydeath-fixated set of stats. \Mrat wonies me mostthough is the way the lecturergrins so mucfrwhenever he talks about it. SfrefcherBearer l'm sure l've seen before,but its still a good one.[You may have seen this before, but only if you were in the ight plae and have a long memory.Along with other S V O'Jaypieceg some of whichhave subsequently ARROI1ISAF DESIRE6: REUGION LOCO CITATO appearedin Anows, it appearedin a zine called 'Countenan@Divine' which appearcdin 1987and shiftedabout 10 copieslJ DeathsheadRevisited: Love it! Where can I get the album?A set of titles like that is far too goodto miss.They just plaindon't write 'em likethat any more/ever since. A Hell of A Job: Well, true, but someone has to do it, and it does beat working for a living... the fun and games that would ensue if that oh-so-vital functionwere not performed.Of the incamationsof Death,what about the one in Gaiman's Sandman comic, eh? An incamation like that would probably encouragetoo many"voluntee/' terminations, though. SuicidePlaylist #2: Oh well. One good tum (33 or 45) dservesanother. Afterthe FirstDeath: Succint. Very nice. Necrocon:lshall awaitthe conrep(ghost-written, no doubt)with interest.The guestlist looksimpressive enough - H P Lovecrafthanging around in somedark and eldritchcomer no doubt.Enm... have you told Banksieyet? On the lmprobability...:Considering all things in all, and the possibilities engenderedby infinite/multipleuniverses, each person is a miracleof probability in their own right, each one of us unique. What a thought. Good article, very philosophical. Deafb Diary. Natch- how else to keep track of all those little jobs that need doing. Untitled "How long?"- nearlyas good a questionas 'Wh57', and as easy to answer.All time is relative.All observationsare subjectiveto the observer.Time existsto preventeverything happening at once.And wfierEveryou go, there you are.Your guess is as goodas mine,or probablybetter fom yourviewpoint. TV Movies:Some of wfrich l've seen, a few of wfrich l've regrettedseeing - it'sall goodviewing. Playlist:The Top Ten:More morbidmusic. Musicto HaveAn AbortionTo: Now this is siiiiiiiiiiiiiick! A TrueFaith: Now look,am I beingobtuse or does everyonehave somesort of suicide/wrist-slashingstory inside of them.Dare I ask if there is somesort of obsessionhere? flllegibleJ [Thanks, as always,for your comments,but I would like to add a personal plea that you either get a typewriter/wp(if you havent already done so in the interuening years) or clean up your handwriting! I had to lie down afrer transcibing fhis one, and as you can see there are still a auple of words I missed./ Harry Wamer, Jr., 423 Summit Ave, Hagenstown,MD 21740 Many thanksfor the fifth issue of Anowsof Desire.l'm closer than most fans to the theme of this issue, so it must seem more relevantto me than to younger readers. It came at the right time, too, so soon after a seriesof departuresof fans and former fans: Don Thompson,Rick Sneary and Don Woltheim in the United States,and Art Thomsonin England. ARROI14SOF DESIRE6: REUGION LOCO CTTATO l've beenwondering about one aspectof deathnobody considered in Anows of Desire:wfry so manyfans are dying beforethey reachthe three score and ten u/hichwe're led to believewe'll probably enjoy. Wollheim was overthat unofficial limit, but entirelytoo many fans have been dying in their 6Os,50s and even younger.Part of the answerto the problemmay be overuseof drugs,alcohol and tobaccoproducts, but not all of the prematurelydead fans can be placedin these categories.Maybe some day a researcherwill discover an unexpected reasonfor the situation,like inhalingsubatomic particles of paper during the staplingoperations on fanzinepublications. I thought the items in the issue ranged from competentto excEllentfor the most part, with only one or two that didn't interestme at all. Most of the writers are unfamiliarto me, and I hope their presenoein this issue signals their appearanceas writersin manyother farzines in the immediateftrture. fl hope so foo, as I agreemany of them can produce very interesfingpieces. lf seems to be fhe case that, in line with the AOD readership,which I would not ansider 'traditional"(whatever that is), people other than 'traditional' fanzine writers seern willing to submit pieces for it. lf this leads to a wider and more diverse readershipfor fanzinesin general, then so much the Drifter.l Your own introductoryitem probablygripped me as mucft as anythingin this issue. lt's now more than thirty years since the death of my father, 33 years since I lost my mother,and I still dreamof them orcasionally.However, almost alwaysthey're still alivein my dreamsand l'm not awareof their passing;it's as if I had beentransported back into a past and my dreamingmind isn't awareof what has happenedsince the date in whicft the dream story is laid. This, of course,is the situationinto wfrichmany aging peopleslip in their wakinglives, when they become senile and retreat to the past. So such dreams bother me little,for fear they'rethe first symptomsof imminentsenility for me, and they encourageme a little,because the senilepeople I knowseem much happierin their fantasiesof living in the past than those of us who remainaware of what the presentis like. Funeralsand viewingthe bodycome up severalplaces in this issue.I dislike both customsintensely. I did the conventionalthings when my parents and severalclose relatives died, only becauseI knewit wouldcause grief and worry to the family and friends if I followedmy instincisand behavedwith apparent callousness.But I know l'll leave instructionsfor a closed casket and only a gravesideservice when I die, insteadof the traditionalviewing and funeralhome ceremonies. But I was luckierthan someof the contributorsto this issue.I didn'tneed to get upsetabout the deathof someoneclose and dearto me until l'd passedmy youth.Three of my grandparentswere deadwfren I was bom or died soon after and the fourthlived untiljust a few yearsago. I had lots of unclesand auntsbut the only one vvhodied duringmy boyhoodand youth lived in anotherstate, l'd neverseen him, and the funeralwas held too far from Hagerstownfor me to be expecledto attend.A numberof great unclesand great aunts died but I hadn't ARROI/YSOF DESIRE6: REUGION 46 LOCO CITATO knownthem well enough to getupset. I didn'thave many cousins and all of them liveduntil I was in my 30s or thereabouts. You overlookedone of my favouritesin the last words category:Ben Hecht tells aboutit in his autobiography.As a Chicagonewspaperman, he coveredthe executionsof murderers.One of themwas led to the sacffold,the noosewas put about his neck, and just beforethe trap was sprung he was asked if there was anythinghe wantedto say. He replied:"Not at this time."And you didn'tlist what is probablythe best movieever madewith death as part of its title: the 1934 productionoI DeathTakes A Holiday,staning FredericMarch. [The list was actually confined to TV movies.Had I ber.'ninclined to be more general, and indeed to include movieswith death as a central issue, rather than purelytitular, top of the listwould undoubtedly have been:rf'sA WondertdLife'.] After the FirstDeath is going to stick in my memoryafter l've forgottenmost of the othercontributors to this issue.I suspectmost people who mustdeal with death in their employmentnever lose completelythe emotionsHelena Bowles describes,no matterhow manytimes they confrontdeath. I noticedthis during several hospital stays. Nurses and orderlies wfro had seen hundreds or thousandsof patientsdie duringcare in the institutionwere clearlyrattled eacfr time it happenedduring my stay. lt was easy for a patient to know when someoneelse had died,even though the staffmembers were forbidden to relate this fact. One nursewas in the habitof sayingsoothingly, "Don't worry about it", if a patientfelt worse or sufferedbad pain. lf a patientbecame a memberof the criticalcondition list, you couldhear her sayingthis in a raisedtone of voice.But if everyoneon the floorcould hear heryelling at the top of her lungs,"Don't worry aboutit", we knewsomeone was dyingat that moment. HarryAndruschak, PO Box 5309,Torrance, GA 90510-5309 I notethat manymention funerals in this fanzine.I had to attenda few in my life, but none in the pastfifteen years. Or MemorialServices either. For myself,I paid $700 to 'The NeptuneSociety'', a non-profitorganisation that does guickie cremationsfollowed by a burialat sea. "Bakeand Shake",so to speak.All my nextof kin haveto do is makeone phonecall, and the Societytakes care of all the processingand papenrork.And my familypays zilctr. This is part of my attitudetowards death. lt will happen,so makeit as ctreap and convenientas possible.As an atheist,I do not believein any kind of life afterdeath, nor souls,nor reincarnation,nor anything.After all, when all is said and done, there is not the slightestevidence that the Universewas "created", "caused"or "designed",nor does it seem that the Universehas "purpose", "design"or "meaning". One other aspectof death amusesme, or rather,the reactionto it organ donation.In my wallet is a card which makesit quite clear that if I die, or am aboutto die, I wish my organsto be salvagedfrom my body and used to heal otherpeople. What couldbe easier?What couldbe moreethical? Well, I don'tknow what the situationis in the UK but here in the USAa lot of fans are reluctantto be organ donorsfor a varietyof reasons.I have a hunctr ARROI'YSOF DESIRE6: RELIGION LOCO CITATO mostof it is tied to the Christianconcept of the entirebody risingon the Day of Judgement,even if they are not honestenough to actuallyadmit to this sort of superstition.And notjust fans,of course.Most of the USA population,thanks to Christianity,are reluctantto be organdonors. [Christianityhas in fact liftle to do with Chist and a lot to do with Sf. Paul's visiontuersion.I am alsoinevitably reminded by talk of organ donationof the old joke: Kev McVeigh intendsto leave his body fo Scienae.Scienaa intends to confesf the will.l PaulDi Filippo,2 PoplarSt., Providence,Rl 02906 Thanxfor the latestAOD. As usual,a bang-upjob. Beenthinking a lot about deathmyself lately, mostly through Zen studies. My siste/s sisterin-lawrecently had her estrangedhusband show up on her doorstepand commitsuicide in her presenceby shootinghimself through the heart.Guess that's one way of avoidingsenility! Kev P McVeigh,37 Firs Road,Milnthorpe, Cumbria LA7 7QF Herewithone loc on AOD#5:. Yeah, I looked at Klling A Childfor you, thanks for the credit. All I did was readit, mate.You hadto writeit. My grandmotherdied a coupleof years ago, and aftenrardsI kept having flashesback to the momentI last saw her alive.In the hospital,frail and yellow. The rest of the familywent straightin, I wentto find chairs,so she didn'tknow I was there.They were chattingwhen I came in, and she was so thrilledto see me. That'swhat I remembered.And I rememberleaving early to meet someone at the station,to bringher backto meetgran. The fuckingtrain was late.That's whatlremember. Funnythat, I oughtto rememberhow she took my sidewhen I was in trouble, the biscuitsshe usedto savefor me, picturecards on Spaceshe collectedthat got me intoall thatand now all this.ljust rememberwaiting for a train,bitter and cold.And how pleasedshe was to see me, how proudof me and my sister,even when lfelt I'd let everyonedown. (Excuse me, it's snowingoutside; this can'tbe hayfever, can it?) Songsto commitsuicide to: I CouldBe Happy (Alteredlmages) - dark and twisted; The End (Nico) - cold and empty; CarolineSays // (Lou Reed) - soundtrackto abuse? Barry Bayley seems to be arguing that nothing would have changed if Cleopatra'snose had beendifferent. How would we knou/? flndeed. See "QuantumLeap", frrsf episode, second season, for an intelligent TV treatmentof this.l I supposePat McKaywas sayingthe oppositein a way.Truth doesn't matter, beliefis the overridingfactor. The endingsaid somethingelse, though - whatwe believedoesn't affect realityfor anyone else, but it affects our perceptionof others,and our responseto that perception.So the lengthof Cleopatra'snose only mattersbecause people worry about it, and makeextrapolations - altemate ARROT/YSOF DESTRE6: RELIGION LOCO CITATO histories- which lead to new perceptionsof reality- now. And some of these perceptionslead to changes,and henceBarry Bayley was wrong? fl assumeat least oneother person out there(probably Pat McKay)managed to follow thatargumenf. Speaking of whom...l Pat McKay,wherever Might I point out to the supposedlyknowledgable Kev McVeighthat the "Hope I get old" remarkhe attributedto lan McNabis actuallya quotefrom a song title on the first lp by They MightBe Gianfs,and what about TammiTenell who diedof a brainhaemonage on stagein MarvinGaye's arms. Othenrise OK Still on rawk'n' rawl:John Langford(brother of the morefamous Dave) may be in The Three Johns(and he shouldbe carefulabout that too, now that Glause 25 is goingthrough...) but he is reallya Mekonin disguise!Now there's ScLfi for ya! (Andhe's part of Dim Suboofeyotool) [See a/so the famousDave's loc above.] I mightbe in touchabout Religion, but if not, remembErI said it first in my loc lasttime. Keepwatching the mailbox... [At nskof disillusionment,the themefor this issue had alrcady ber.'ndecided beforeyou came up withyour appositecomment. I shouldalso oolintout that the phrase 'great minds think alike'presupposes morc than one such mind in operation. The subjec't of AOD #7 ig as you may remember, 'Bloody Foreigners!', but I would be interestedto see if you can make appsite comment on the themesforissues #8 and #9 which,yes, have already been determined.l Sididis, PO Box 17084,Doomfontein 2028 (RSA) I liked the idea of the theme runningthru all writingsin yer mag. Some of these peopleare so fuckedup, it's greatto see honestyin writingand genuine emotioncoming thru. Black F/ag has not been so lucky,we have advertisedin national newspapers,stuck posters on all campusesand bombardedlikely peopleby post,but havegot so littleto showfor it thatwe havehad to moveour deadlineto Xmassacrein order to have a hope of getting somethingworth publishing.Meanwhile our informationcampaign goes bravely onward in the hope of finding some creativeSouth Africans somewhere. So that is why you aren't cfutchinga Black Flag and going "\A/ow,these Affican chappies are not quiteas ThirdWorld as we mayhave supposed". Pity, but apathyseems to be a popularpastime here, as peopleare contentto sit on their buttsand wait for the next interestinggovernment scandal to break(which is aboutas definiteas rain in a monsoonor MaggieThatcher wearing blue). flnterestedcontibutors shou/d write to BlackFlag Publicationsat the above address. Bear in mind that (last we knew) any RSA4es{inedmail is sf// quite likely to be opened before reaching its intended recipient.We vnuld be happy to be conectedif thisis now inaccurate.l ARROI1ISOFDESTRE 6: RELIGION 49 LOCOCITATO - SteveJeffery (again),c/o Anzon Inc., PO Box 559,Laredo, TX78U2 Thanksfor AOD #51/z:Does He StittDrink Beer? Mike Abbott is probablyright. The aggressive,violent, bullying is not the "real" you, but one part of you, althoughone whose emotionalcontent is so strong that it has a disproportionateeffecl in the way you and others may view yourself. l'm not convinced you should dismiss Harry Wame/s comment on professionalhelp out of hand on the basis that it didn't work in some other context.lGowing what you're capableof, you owe it to Tara to do whatever it takes to protect her from such abuse. \A/hydo you resent her and hate her so muchwhen you losecontrol? {Nic Farey wnfes; I don't agree that the eartier failure was in 'some other cpntext'. ln that case the violence was inwardly dirccted, so b speak They do say that suicide is fhe sinqeresf form of self-abuse. The 'resenf and hate' questionmay be more complex.ltheorise that, althoughI am gener.tllyattracled to 'strong' women, I am ultimately unable to deal with that strength and the amountof controlit can inply (suggesling,I know,that l have a basicallyweak characler).Perhaps the resentmentsurfaces as a readion to being unable to dealwith that controlwhile necessaily beingsubmisvrc to it.) I don't see why your social life need revolve around the consumptionof alcohol,any morethan HarryAndruschaKs commitment to total abstention.Mkki is an abstainer,by choiceand a genuinedislike of the taste of alcohol,but I enjoythe taste of beer or cider,at least until aboutthe third pint. Like you, I have parts of myselfthat I am afraidof revealingunder the disinhibitinginfluence of alcohol on my sense of control, and it wonies me when my mouth stiartsto operatein a highergear than my abilityto thinkabout wfrat l'm saying.(All right, who said"lt alwayshas"? Some people like the loss of control that drinkingbrings; I don't, and it frightensme, and I haven'tgone over that edge again since my early twenties. Why do you drink?More importantly,u/hy do you keep on drinkingbeyond your abilityto controlit? {Nic Farcy writes:I believethe problem lieslargely in'solitary'drinking (which rc a sfafe of mind, not an indicatorof the number of people present),and also the odd conceptof "drinkingto get drunk".I have discoveredon the nrc occasrons when I have been sober in a room full of drinkers that there is nothingso obnoxiousor unfunnyas a bunch of peoplewho are (even dightly) drunk when you're not (the reverse also applies).Sq you eitherdont assocrafewith these peopleat all (difftcult- I don't know or socialisewith many abstainers)or you join in the general lack of sobriety, at which point everything beames w:tttyand enteftainingagain. The problem liesat a point fufther on wherethings stop being funny. As you say, a moderate line between 'dangerous' drinking and total abstinenceshould not pose any problem. Usually,if I'm in a crovydedpub with friendson a Friday night, I know when I've had 'enough' and jud @me home and go fo s/eep. Qn most such occasions,I don't 'drink to get drunk' or drink just ARROttrSOF DESIRE6: RELIGION LOCO CTTATO for the sake of it. Although this will undoubtedlybe had for Harry to arcept, I genuinelyenjoy it.] Haz Bond, (COA)13 MenivaleRoad, Stratford ST17 gEB A few commentson AOD lt51/z.Notablethat most corespondentseither ignoredthe centralarticle (or so I presume,as you don't print or WAHF any more letterwriters) or skimmedover it very lightly.And perhapsnot surprising that the meatiest responsescome from people with experienceof alcoholism and/or mindlessviolence. I supposeI should say that I drink relativelylittle insidefandom, and scarcelyat all outsideit (sincedrinking alone strikes me as a totallyfutile pastime). Also, I havea very lowtolerance for alcohol. HarryAndruschak is a generallydecent guy, but lfound this letter(as I found his responseto MartinTudo/s similarpiece) extraordinarily patronising. As one who has drunk and stoppeddrinking rather than one wfio has never drunk at all, it's fair enoughto grant him the positionof lnformedCommenter. I supposehe must have been attemptingto lend you moral support(though an awful lot of wfrat purports to be a loc to you addresses itself to the hapless M Tudor); insteadit comesover as smugand patronising.l've also noticeda tendenryto sniff out supposedalcoholism in letters to other farzines wttilst commentingon others'articles: l'm put in mind particularlyof an articleI reprintedfrom an apa by WilliamMccabe, than whom I can thinkof nobodyless likelyto be in need of AA, but whomAndy said he'd loveto drag to a meetingdue to WAM describing an eveningat the pub followedby an (almostcertainly non-alcohol related) hospitalisationand concussion.Writing lettersin that tone won't help anyone, Andy. In contrast,I have a healthyloathing for that little creep Kev McVeg,but am forcedto admitthat his letterregarding violence, drunken and nondrunken,has a ring of painful truth and rises above most of his dreary self-flagellationin personalzines. And combinedwith that there's Tara Dyson's extraordinarypiece, ufiich makesthe back of my neck creep every time I read it. l've drunk with this macho shitheadshe's talking about, it's you Nic.As Kev comments,we neversee wfiat goes on the rest of the month. Violence tenified me, mucfr more so than alcoholism,probably due to the fact that l've had experienceof the formerbut not of the latter. I know the feeling Tara describesof being totally unable to defendyourself, not becauseyou're physicallytoo weak or overpowered,but becauseyou just can't. I rememberbeing punchedand having a knife drawn on me, and though I was physicallystronger than the guy in question,my sole resourcewas to instantlycollapse on the floor and play dead (and it took a womanto disarm him. Hmmmm.).ln other words, even when my life was in dangerI couldn'tdefend myself. Nastythought, that, but I supposeon reflectionthat it's not too surprising, since I lack many of the commondefence mechanisms that other peopletake for granted,like being able to laugh off violenceand tragedies.I can't. Thinking aboutanything like that makesme physicallyill, yet I can'tjust not think about ARROT/YSOF DESTRE6: REUGION 51 LOCO CITATO them.You probablyremember that episodeat Mexiconlll wfrereAvedon was yelling at me. Any normal personwould have walked off or silencedher by throwingtheir drinkat her withintwo minutes.I couldn't.I couldgo on, but I can hardly criticiseMcVeg for feeble self-flagellationwhen I indulge myself in a similarway. Well, enough of this. As someone sais: 'M/e are all equipped with microscopesfor intimateself-examination, and too manyof us are usingthem as dildo-substitutesfor analmasturbation". {Nic Farey writes: lnterestingpoints about deFncelessness./ also rccall,in my studentdays, my usualreaction to a violentattack was fp curl up in a ballon the floor and actuallyencourage the attacker('Go on, have you done enough?'), the theory being that they would be shamed into stopping by this passive resisfance. Adnt always work. Mind you, at the time I was so fucked up generally that I used to hide under tables without waming, and in all sorts of public places too. Conversely, I was once asked why I didnt retaliate when someonehad just kneedme in the head as I bentto pickup a packof cigarettes (fhis was at a bar). / was so drunk I hadn't even telt it. Afthough,in common with much of the LSE lowlib, I tried lof.sof interesling and illicitsubsfances af fhis time, I never had enough anfrdence in my sanrtyto try LSD.I have thatin commonwith JanisJoplin. Someoneonce slippedher a hit of acid. On being told, she immediately went to make herself physically sick ratherthan riskthe potentialbad trip. Returning to the violence question,it oceurs to me that I have rarely hit anotherman. Only ever women.That remindsme of one of the mos/ftightening (and violent) charactersI ever saw on TV, in an episodeof The Sneeney called Iasfe of Fear. The guy is an army deserter who has mosl reently serued in Northern lreland. His signiatureremark, deliveredat the beginningof the episde is: 'lf there'sfwo thingsI like, reallv [ike,it's thumpin' birds and kickin' Micks'. [Cultural note for the unfamiliar "The Sweeney' (Cockney rhyming slang: "Sweeney Todd' = 'Flying Squad") yyas a seminal British cop show of the sevenfieg starringJohn Thaw, DennisWaterman and GarfieldMoryan; 'birds'is a slangterm for women;"Micks" is a (derogatory)slang term for lrishmen.l Ken Lake,115 Markhouse Avenue, London E17 8AY Drinking:I didn't want to, wasn't going to mix in: troublesenough you got, withoutI shouldpontificate. But nowyou virtuallybeg me.OK flltry to be brief. Like all monomaniacs/addictslfen,you are parblind:you do and say things withouteven noticingthe contradictionsor eventhe onviouspointers toward the truth. Example:"most of my sociallife centresaround the consumptionof alcohol"- that is the root of the wholeproblem, that you can writethis and not realisethis is a confessionthat yourwhole attitude toward life is skewed. All else follows.lmagine the personwho wouldwrite "mostof my social life centresaround... Neurotics Anonymous/eating/prayerlwinetasting (when you spit it out)/stampcollecting/beating up niggers/football...you name it". Reaction:ho, ARROWS OF DES,RE 6: REUGION LOCOCITATO a NUT.Why? Becausemaking "most of your sociallife" centrearound ANY one activityis unbalanced.Some such absorptionin monomaniais less hannful(to you, to others)than othersways: few people ever got more broke than through stamp collecling,fat and dead through eating, pretentiousfrom winetasting, unpleasantlyyobbish from football mania. But until you can parcticewith equanimitya sociallife that NEVER"centres around"drinking, you will alwaysbe an alcoholic.Which you are, no denyingor arguingcan changethat. I mightenjoy winetasting - once. I tried NeuroticsAnon decadesago and was bored to tears. I lack the physiqueor the self-confidenceto go out beating up anyone.All sportsbore me beyonddescription: men chasingballs around.Even womanisingwas nevermy bag, beingbrought up in too puritanicala societyfor me to view any kind of unfaithfulnesswith equanimity. I tried prayen it's onanistic.I tried onanism:it's selfish.I tried selfishness:it loses you friends.I tried friends: some drank too much,ceased to be friends becausethey refused to acceptthat I didn'tWANT to spendall my time and moneydrinking. Some are foodies: they remain friends, but no way would I want to eat to gourmet standardsevery night, and I can do a damn sight better than greasy spoon at home. It's a matterof horsesfor courses.lf you have boozyfriends, meet them onoe a fortnight and tail off. Ditto stamp collectors, winetasters, hearty eaters, neurotics,any other monomaniacs.The world is full of pleasures,almost all of them BETTERif you have had nothingto drink for several hours before you try them.\ffhy prejudiceyour chancesof enjoyingall that life offers you? All else is excuses,apologies, self-justification, whingeing and lies. Face the world: it's a helluvaplace. {Nic Farey writes: Herewith some excuses, aplogies, self-justification, whingeingand lies:you, in common with many ofhers, either misundeMandor deliberatelymisinterpret the phrase'centres around the onsumption of alahol'. On Monday nightsat one of my localswe have a qut night- genenltrivia, 1Opa go, winningteam fakes all; Wednesdaynights (before I acquireda prolapsed disc) was poolleague;first Thursdayof everymonth is fhe Wellingtonmeet, third Thursday the BSFA. On Fidays or Saturdayswe ofren go out for a meal, perhapsto our favouritelocal lndian or to that nther good new Thai restaurcnt just opened; or perhapsthe cinema. Sundayis Bruch Club at the George- a great cooked breaffiast,unlimited coffee and all the papers;good anversation too. The only thing in common with this (you'll admit) varied soaa/ round is that alltake placeon licensedpremises. / used to play sguash(l hopeto again),and after the game we would naturallygo to the bar for a refreshingshandy. Not to mentionconventions, pafties and so on. I have been knownnot to drink at any or all of the above.Monomaniac? I don't think so.J ARROWSOF DESTRE6: REUGION 53 "The Godsof Alastyare smilingon me tonight' MichaelAbbott 102\Mlliam Smith Close, Cambridge CB1 3QF, UK Barry J Bayley 48 TuneffAvenue,Donnington, Telford TF2 8HE,UK Black Flag PO Box 17OU,Doornfontein 2028, RSA HazBond 50 MayerStreet, Hanley, Stoke-on-Trent ST1 2JD, UK lan Grcasey 73 RichmondAvenue, Leeds LS6, 1DB Nic Farey PO Box 178,St. Leonard,MD 20685,USA Steve Jeffe4y 44 White Way, Kidlington,Oxon OXs 2XA UK Ken Lake 115Markhouse Avenue, London E17 8AY David Langrford 94 LondonRoad, Reading, Berks RGI sAU, UK DF Lewis 7 LloydAvenue, Coulsdon, Suney CRs 2QS, UK Cecil Nurce (Addresslost) S V O'Jay PO Box 178,St. Leonard,MD 20685,USA NinaWatson 100Gleneldon Road, Streatham, London SW16 2BZ Thoughtforthe day: When Godwas younger,did he resemblelein Banks? Attowsof Desircis pubtishedby sevenvierrys of jerusalem,Kemrcod Beacfi, MD Copiesavailable forthe usual. AOD *7 vflll be publishedin early 1995;subject Bloody Forrigncrst Contributions,locs to PO Bor 17E,St Lconard, HD 206E5,USA Professionalrates:'a drinK BemieEvans is olderthanGod ARROI,I4SOF DES/RE 6: REUGION v AND FINALLY... lf God lived on earth,people would knockout all his windows (Yiddishproverb) ARROI,I6 OF DESIRE 6: REUGION 55 sevenviews of jerusalem publisher Mffiffi EM KenwoodBeach, MD